(Shelby)

"So, are you pregnant?"

I looked at Kevin, who didn't seem to believe what I had just said.

"That belly is not made of chocolate or beer, I assure you."

He frowned and I could tell he had doubts. Kevin was a friend of Brenda's boyfriend. She hosted a small, more intimate party at the apartment Brenda and her boyfriend now shared, and I bumped into Kelvin on that occasion. Kevin was a physically handsome man, he was an engineer who had just graduated from the University of Saint Francis in Fort Wayne, and who moved to Cleveland because of a job opportunity. We made out at the party because I was down and I wanted some human warmth. That's why I accepted when he asked me out, only to understand that he was a bit of a pedantic guy. And at that moment, he was clearly scared.

"Is the father in your life?"

"Yes, he is... kinda."

"Oh… may I ask why you aren't together?"

"He is married."

I noticed when Kelvin got so uncomfortable, he almost asked the waiter for the check. I wonder what he must have judged about me in the last two minutes. A young woman home wrecker. I wish, because it was so obvious I wasn't competent at the home-wrecking part. The thing is, I wasn't all that interested in Kelvin or any man. I was interested in just producing a little endorphin in my body. I was in the second trimester of my pregnancy, I didn't feel nauseous anymore, I didn't have headaches anymore, my blood pressure was fine, despite the urge to pee almost all the time. But I also wanted to have sex. I talked with dr. Daniels, and she said it was perfectly normal. She said it in that kind of cross way, because she was Juan's friend and was definitely on his side. That's where Kelvin came in: not that I was interested. I just wanted a night with any halfway decent guy because I was so in the mood.

"Well, I don't want to be in your business, Shelby..."

"Kelvin, the father of my children doesn't care who I date or don't date. He's not my boyfriend or lover. He's a guy I've had sex with a few times and this has happened. There is no drama."

Kelvin seemed to relax. He asked me about the theater, but I saw that it was just politeness. I also asked about his work, but it was equally just to not let the subject drop at the restaurant table.

"I live two blocks from here." I told him. "Do you want to see my apartment?"

Kelvin paid for our dinner and we walked the two blocks to the apartment where Juan paid the rent. Kelvin looked excited that he was going to get laid, but the truth was, I was using him for an orgasm, not even knowing if this guy would be able to give me one. After all, I didn't know if he was good in bed or not. Seeing was believing.

But I had a surprise on the staircase that gave access to the building's door. Juan was sitting there, half wrapped in his own winter coat.

"Juan?"

"Hey Shelby…" He looked crossly at Kelvin. "Sorry, I didn't know you had company."

"Juan, this is Kelvin… and Kelvin this is the father of my kids."

"Nice to meet you, Kelvin." Juan gave Kelvin a quick, formal handshake.

"Juan! What are you doing here?" I said irritably. But I wasn't mad at him. I was irritated because I knew Juan wasn't there because of me, but because of the contract.

"I wanted to talk to you… without lawyers… without Hiram."

"Guess I'm not interested! My lawyer said I shouldn't get in touch with you."

"Please."

I looked at Juan and couldn't resist. He was truly broken, like I'd never seen him before. My heart sank, because all I wanted most was to comfort that man and tell him that everything would be okay. So I turned to Kelvin, apologized to him, and went up to my apartment with Juan. The last time Juan was in that apartment was on a memorable night when we had sex all night. Okay, it wasn't literally all night, but I do remember that it was a Tuesday, and Juan gave me multiple orgasms that day until we literally passed out from exhaustion. He even took advantage of the fact that Hiram was out of town to spend the night with me and not leave until the next day. When we woke up and had breakfast together, nothing but toast and green tea, I thought things would work out between us. Juan was willing to take the risk... until the ultrasound showed that the children had different gestational ages. The surprising news that there were two children in my womb was an ephemeral joy that soon turned into a nightmare.

"You can sit down." I pointed to the loveseat.

"Thanks."

"Would you like a glass of water?"

"Yes, please."

I offered the water and he drank it quickly. I could see he was nervous, like he wasn't supposed to be there, yet he decided to go against the rules.

"Who is that guy?" He said suddenly.

"It's just a guy I met at a party a few days ago."

"And were you going to invite him to your apartment?"

"That is none of your business. You are nothing mine, Juan. The only bond I have with you is a contract and this child."

"Children, plural."

"Yes, our child and the child in the contract."

"You're not that cold and pragmatic, Shelby."

"Juan, if you came here to try to talk me out of the second process..."

"I confess that my attempt would be like a shot in the dark. But the main reason I'm here is I would like to understand why? We could have resolved it much more amicably."

"Hiram and his lawyer didn't want to be friendly when they called me into the office just to tell me to be glad they wouldn't sue me for breach of contract."

"When was that?"

"Didn't you know?" From the look on Juan's face, I saw that he wasn't. "Hiram tried to intimidate me, Juan. I had to protect myself. George, my old boss at the diner, referred me to his lawyer. He was the one who studied the contract and found this loophole. I just accepted his proposal, not to get back at you, but because my lawyer warned me that your lawyer could make me pay the contract fine."

"This is unbelievable!" He was visibly disappointed, but I couldn't do anything because it was my future at stake. "I can't afford what you asked, Shelby."

"In the end, with the discounts, you will only pay 60,000 more. It's not that impossible, and you'll have custody of our kid."

"You are selling my kid to me. That's basically it."

"No! I am looking for financial compensation for giving up my rights as a mother, it's very different."

"Bullshit!"

"I'm still going to New York, Juan. I won't give up this idea not for you or for anyone else! I go to New York even with a baby in my arms." I said firm. "Here, at this moment, I am willing to give you full custody of our child. But this is a proposal that gets more complicated every day, because... because I already feel this little thing move in my belly. I know it's her, because she's bigger, more developed, and because she'll be smart. Every day that passes will get harder to let her go. So you better make up your mind soon before I change my mind for good."

"She? How do you know our kid will be a girl? If the 16th week ultrasound wasn't done and it was rescheduled for next week?"

"I had a dream about her. Our kid is definitely a girl. I can bet you anything you want." I approached Juan, took his hand and brought it to my belly. "She is already 19 weeks old. The other one is 17 weeks old. I read in a magazine that at 19 weeks her five senses are forming and she should be eight inches."

"Your belly is already quite round." Juan smiled and I could feel how delighted he was.

"There are two here. I'm going to be huge! Doctor Daniels said she'll be happy if I make it to week 36 with our baby. The other will be 34 weeks."

"Don't talk like that. The other child is also 50% Shelby."

"But it could also be 50% Hiram and that makes me a little bit pissed off. I prefer not to get attached to this one."

"You are unbelievable." Juan shook his head in disbelief, but I could see he had calmed down more.

"What would you name our girl?"

"I don't know. What name would you give it?"

"Liza with a 'z'."

"Liza?" Juan smiled for the first time since he arrived.

"Don't t you like it?"

"Not at all. Why Liza with 'z'?"

"Like Liza Minnelli. I think it's chic. And I like the artist. Cabaret is one of my favorite plays... Liza Minnelli is simply fabulous."

"Al right."

"And you? What would you name her?" I persisted with the question.

"I have no idea. I like the traditional names, but I don't know if a young woman born in the 90's would like to have a traditional name." Juan took his hand off my stomach and went back to being thoughtful. "Shelby… please… remove this suit. Reconsider. Let's come to an amicable agreement. We're only going to get hurt at the end of it all."

"Juan, I can't. My problem is not you and not with you."

"Are you doing this to get back at Hiram?" He frowned.

"No, I'm doing this to protect myself from Hiram. I'm very sorry."

Juan got up and left without looking back. He was confused, I could tell, because it couldn't have been easy for him to be caught in the crossfire between me and Hiram. Sometimes I didn't want to be cynical and calculating, I swear I didn't. Sometimes I wished I had never met Juan. But what was done was done. What I said was true, in part. I didn't mean to hurt him and I was protecting myself from what Hiram might be able to do. But I also did it out of anger at Juan. At that, my sexual itch went away. All my hard-on wore off and I threw Kelvin's phone away.

...

(Juan)

Lyanne was explaining what the differences between the two children were during Shelby's second ultrasound. Hiram was attentively following the explanations, Shelby was protocolly following along and I was distracted in the corner of that exam room. It was a week in which our lawyers talked to each other, trying to make all kinds of negotiations to resolve the impasse. So we came to a consensus that we weren't going to charge Shelby with contractual penalties and we had to pay an extra $70,000 for our kid's custody. 20,000 would be transferred upon signing the agreement and the rest would be paid up to three days after the birth of the children. I had 20 thousand in the bank to pay when signing the agreement, but I would still have to raise 50 thousand until the day my kids were born. I also had the expenses we were having with our lawyer's fees, with rent and Shelby's health insurance, not to mention my and Hiram's monthly expenses, like rent, monthly taxes, phone bill, groceries and cleaning supplies, gas for the car. We still had to buy the two little girls' stuffs and also buy tons of milk powder compost to feed them as soon as they were born. And there were the disposable diapers and all those little ointments that you put on the private parts so that fragile skin doesn't have edema and lesions. And the perfumes, the baby soap, the poo wipes… oh my god, what was I thinking?

Yes, Shelby was right. We would have two girls.

I didn't have the slightest idea how to be a father because that part is only learned by practice. But the thing is, I didn't have a clue how to deal with girls either. Let's face it, I grew up surrounded in a house by three women with completely different personalities. My sisters Rosa and Maria shared one of the rooms in the house, despite the significant age difference between them. They built a world inside that I was never allowed to be part. Maria was the type to dress up to go out with boyfriends, but she was smart and independent. Nobody understood when she became radically Catholic, got engaged to Pedro and willing to live in Lima to get married and have children. Rosa was a tomboy as a child, and changed completely in her teens. Unlike Maria, Rosa wanted to get away from Ohio, so she went to college in Tulsa. Of the girlfriends I've had, I've never been able to really understand them. Boy, I could understand Shelby's motivations for her life and career, but I couldn't understand my relationship with her. Girls changed... girls menstruated... girls were complicated... girls were a mystery. And now I would have daughters!

There was still the financial issue to resolve. Hiram and I had so many expenses that I didn't have the slightest possibility of saving even pennies in a savings account. It was a situation that "victimized" Rita, who had to be dismissed from cleaning services because we could no longer pay her. I didn't want to ask my parents for this money and I didn't want to bother them, because they had too many expenses because of my father's cancer. Rosa was going to graduate from college next summer, and my parents were still helping her pay her tuition. Maria and Pedro could lend me some money. But they recently took out loans from the bank on behalf of the winery and to improve the structure of the craft beer factory on the farm they had on the outskirts of Lima. Not to mention they had two kids to raise.

I was willing to sell our car, put a bunch of things in pawn, I could borrow money from my colleagues at the hospital, I could go downtown on my days off and play and sing in the street for a few pennies... I knew that raising $50,000 wasn't that complicated, while it was incredibly complex when you didn't know where to get that money from.

Shelby's departure from the hospital was very embarrassing, as was the whole situation created. Hiram spoke to her in a formal manner, I just didn't speak up at all. It was like I was afraid to talk to Shelby in public without a lawyer.

When I got home from work, Hiram was getting ready to go out.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"My mother called asking me to talk." He answered frankly.

"Are you going to talk about our situation to her?"

"Probably."

"Shouldn't I go with you?"

"I would really like to talk to my mother alone this time."

"All good."

I just watched my husband get the car keys to leave our place. Hiram and I agreed to stay together, be married, be parents and have two kids on the way. It was a considerable effort to rebuild our relationship: one more test among the many we had over the five years we were together. I cheated on Hiram, but not only did Hiram cheat on me, he did it out of revenge, not to mention the cigarette relapse. True, Hiram did cocaine that day, but he wasn't a drug addict, and I wouldn't worry about that for now. Cigarettes were a problem because Hiram was addicted, whereas I always hated that damn smell. It was a struggle to get him to stop. It had to be done little by little, decreasing the daily consumption gradually, and I had to buy boxes of nicotine gum to help him. It would be exhausting to go through that again.

Our sex life did not exist at that time. But I wasn't worried about that either because it was a matter of letting the heavy mood thin out. I tried to do my part by not looking for Shelby whenever I felt like talking to her. The day I went to her apartment, it was one of those impulses, and I literally had to run away from kissing her.

I was tired. I was really tired. When I put my head on the pillow, I just passed out without even putting anything on my stomach.

I woke up smelling coffee. I was in a bit of a daze, as was typical of someone who is awakened from a kind of sleep brought on by the god Anesthesia! My stomach grumbled, reminding me that my last meal was a sandwich at lunchtime yesterday. I got up, went to the bathroom, walked over to the push-up bar, and did some movement with my muscles. Arms first, then some abs exercises. I looked at the clock and because of the time, there would be no time for me to do my morning run. Things that happened when I forgot to set the alarm for some reason.

"Good morning." I placed a kiss on Hiram's cheek.

"Hey."

"Are you late yesterday? I didn't see you arrive."

"I arrived at ten o'clock."

"How were things with your mother?"

"Promising."

I didn't quite understand the answer.

"Promising? In what sense?"

"She will loan us the money to pay that woman back."

"Seriously?"

"She asked for a week to deposit the money in my account, but there is a condition."

"Which?"

"She wants me to make up with my dad."

"Really? I thought it was your father who didn't want to see you all these years."

"This too. My father is a traditionalist and conservative, and he always wanted a big family. When I came out, it was like the Berry bloodline ended with me. Now that there are two kids on the way and at least one of them might still have my genes, my old man might be willing to swallow some of his prejudices in order to meet his granddaughters."

"That's really good, Hiram. It's very good for him and for you."

"Perhaps." Hiram took my mug and poured some coffee into it, also offering me a slice of bread with cranberry jam. "My family is totally different from yours, Juan. You have this Latin thing where everyone sticks together and is close. I don't have that. I will raise our daughters for the world, not to come under my wings."

"It's not about not facing the world. It's about giving value and respect to your ancestry, your culture and your values. It's the first social structure where you learn important things precisely to gain the world, and also be able to return to the nest when you want or when you need to. Family is about love, about connection and about belonging. Family represents that, Hiram. That's what it means to me."

"Sometimes you are too Latin for my taste."

"You pretend you don't care about your family, but that's just a lie. If you didn't care about having a family, you would never have agreed to build one with me. If you didn't believe that, you would have left me after you found out that Shelby and I slept together and, worse, produced a daughter in the natural process. But no... you're still fighting for our unity, and you're fighting so that the girls can stay together, can grow together as our daughters."

"Perhaps."

I had coffee and a slice of bread. Hiram knew I was right, he just didn't want to admit it. It was his way. The important thing was that there was light at the end of the tunnel. Things would work out. The money Hiram's mother would loan us will be a relief. But that doesn't mean we're going to stop counting the pennies. We'll live on a tight budget until after the girls are born.

/

Hello Spawn. I agree that sometimes less is more. It might not seem like it, but there's some good research in this fic, and sometimes I tend to overemphasize that. As for Rachel looking like Shelby, perhaps this is a more important question for Juan than for Hiram. There is a dialogue about this in the Sagas (which I am revising reposting to be consistent with the definitive version in Portuguese).