"Is…that what this is all about?"
"Yes! It's just such a shame you know? You put so much time and effort into shipping charts and cute headcanons and even sometimes interfering in real life, but for all that hard work all you get are hopeless pairs of idiots!" The take-over mage sulked in her seat a bit as if she just became aware of the harsh reality of love. Cobra could not have been more out of it.
"And you think we could help you with this problem…how?"
Mirajane brightened at Lucy's inquiry. "Ah, yes! You two are just perfect for what I had in mind to fix this little problem!"
"You see, when people get sick they turn to doctors for help and advice, soooooo, when faced with a problem of love, who would one turn to?"
"Friends? Family? Maybe a...psychologist?"
"No, Bright Eyes, you see…those are the sane answers." Cobra leaned in closer as if he was sharing some profound wisdom with her. "There are no sane answers with the she-devil."
"If you're done chatting amongst yourselves, I'd like to answer my own question." Mirajane spoke with her trademark smile and Cobra glared reproachfully. He knew there'd be hell to pay if she wasn't in such a fine mood already, so he leaned back in and continued avoiding eye contact.
"I admit that those are all reasonable responses Lucy. However, sometimes even the consoling and advice of other loved ones cannot truly help if the situation has already been deemed hopeless. No, what one must turn to in times of such need is…" she paused and closed one eye for dramatic effect, "...a love doctor!"