Previously: The hospital staff are being arrested and the infected are now considered new life forms. The Face of Boe has teleported away. Cassandra is still in Rose. Ash believes she killed Matron Casp. Chip has just arrived at ward 26.

Chapter 7

I killed her. I, I have to get out of here.

"Ash, whoa… hold on." the Doctor says, steadying me as I try to stand. "Don't listen to her. None of what happened is your fault. You're not a killer."

I can't look at him. He doesn't understand. And, I may be a little too tired to hold my head up.

The Doctor drags a chair over and sits me down, "Sit. We'll be back in the Tardis in no time." he says before turning around to confront Cassandra, "Don't you dare. He's got a life of his own." he says.

"I worship the mistress. I welcome her." Chip says while approaching Cassandra.

"You can't, Cassandra, you-" the Doctor says, trying to stop Cassandra from going into Chip, but he's too slow. Poor Chip. And now Rose is back. I think.

The Doctor catches Rose in his arms, "Oh! You all right? Whoa! Okay?"

"Yeah. Hello!" she replies, and I don't need to open my eyes to know she's got the tongue between the tooth smile thing going on.

"Hello. Welcome back." the Doctor says. Bet he's giving her a hug, hmmm… how can she be back? She sent me away cause I was crying… so cold out here. I bang on the door, but no one ever comes… could have least left me with a blanket…

"Ahhh!" I scream. Where…? Oh, I can feel the Doctor laughing. He's carrying me, again.

"Wait here Ash. I won't be long." he says, laying me on the captain's chair… comfy… someone must have let me in… no… I didn't do anything… not a cry-baby… the hallway, so long it echoes… the other kids are all standing there watching me walk by… no one's happy to see me back, they never are…

"Go back to sleep Ash." hmmm, okay.

So comfy. I have to pee, but I don't wanna get up. Ugh. Stupid bladder.

Dressing gown, fuzzy slippers, Stan, time for breakfast. And yay, the kitchen's empty. Something to eat and I can go crawl back into bed. Tea. Tea will be good. And a bowl of cereal.

"... me talk to her." the Doctor says walking into the kitchen with Rose. I'm not feeling awake enough to do more than grunt, and sigh. So much for breakfast alone. I quickly finish, put my dishes in the sink, grab Stan, and head back to my room to go back to bed, but the Doctor follows me.

"How are you doing?" he asks. I ignore him, intent on getting back to my room and crawling under the covers. "Ash, we need to talk about what happened yesterday."

"Not now. I just wanna go back to bed."

"Yes now." he says, opening the door to my room for me.

"Don't care. Go away." I say, crawling into bed, rolling over onto my stomach and pulling a pillow over my head.

"You didn't kill her, Ash. You didn't kill Matron Casp." He says, sitting down on the bed next to me. Whatever, he doesn't understand.

After waiting a bit for me to say something he continues, "You had a vision of an old Matron Casp in jail. If things had turned out differently, maybe that could have happened. But she chose to follow us into that basement and up the ladder. She chose to grab your ankle and keep you from keeping up with Rose and I. And she died because one of the infected grabbed her. NOT because she fell. You didn't kill her."

"Then why didn't I see that?" I say, still hiding.

"What was that? Can't hear you under that pillow."

"You can too. Superior Time Lord hearing."

"Nope. Didn't catch that. Can you speak up?"

"Fine." I say as I push the pillow off my head, but not rolling over to face him.

"Thank you." he says then sighs, "I don't know why you saw one and not the other. It may not be knowable. Just be glad you didn't see all the possibilities. That would drive you mad, would drive anyone mad." he says.

"Ash, the visions you have aren't of THE future but a possible future. Like the one where you saw two Cassandras at a party. While you were sleeping, Rose and I took Cassandra-Chip to a party that the original Cassandra attended. An older Cassandra and a younger one, both at the same party, just like you saw. What I don't understand is how you knew you were seeing two Cassandras at different points in their timestream."

Can't tell him about Jack telling me stuff. Not that Jack actually told me how I did it. Try distraction? "Why?" I ask.

"Why what?"

"Why did you take Cassandra-Chip to the party? Was it because I saw it?"

"No. Cassandra had mentioned that was the last time anyone called her beautiful, so I brought Cassandra-Chip to the party so that he could be the one to say it."

"Oh. That's nice. Can you go away now?"

"Nope. I've got a whole lot more to say, and you're going to listen to all of it." he says, poking me in the back. "Ash, it's important you understand that any visions you see-" he says before pausing and more forcefully continuing, "And you won't be intentionally seeing any more." while poking me again. "Any visions you see are only possibilities, unless they are in your own personal past, well, past-ish or your-ish. Time travel, it can get complicated."

"Did you, other you, on the platform, did you…" I ask, rolling over enough to see him.

He sighs and scratches at the back of his neck, then says, "I did. I let Cassandra dry out, and I thought she had died. She had increased the temperature on the viewing platform and when I teleported her back, she didn't have any way of moisturizing herself. I'm not sure I could have stopped it; there was very little time. But, you're right, I didn't try. Not my proudest moment."

"Can I go back to sleep now?" I ask.

"You're not a killer, Ash. Cassandra was wrong." He says, still ignoring my wish to forget all of this and just sleep. "You're not a killer and you definitely are not more dangerous than me! Not really very dangerous at all, just a little, squishy, infant of a telepath. So don't go getting ideas about being all powerful or anything. Now, I'll leave you alone so you can sulk in peace, but I will be back and you will be getting up, showering and getting dressed."

Sulking! I'm not sulking. I just want to be left alone.

—

"Up, up, time to get up!" the Doctor says, shaking my shoulder.

"Ugh, go away."

"Nope. Come on, up and at 'em." he says, pulling my blankets off and tugging on my arm, "No more lollygagging in bed."

After being bullied into showering and getting dressed, the Doctor decides to drag me to the med bay to 'look me over again, just in case.'

"So Doc, any fascinating new discoveries this time? You've only scanned me like 1000 times before."

"427."

"What?"

"I've scanned you 427 times, if you include the times I used the sonic."

"You're insane."

"Yep. Right now, physiologically, you're about 55% human, 35% gallifreyan and 10% tardis-ish. The 10% tardis seems stable. The gallifreyan is still trying to take over the human, but based on the trends I'm seeing it won't do so completely, well it shouldn't. It really needs to not. You're going to need a little human resilience and creativity if you're going to manage to merge the three together long term. The synaptic complexity is going to have to be off the charts… and how is it even…" he trails off as he looks over at me.

"Right. Nothing to worry about. Now, I want you to think back to when you stopped the infected woman on the ladder. Do you remember that?"

"Of course I do." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Good. Think about what you did." he says, raising his hands to my temples.

"I don't know how I did it. I just wanted her to stop moving, well, all of them really." I say. It feels really weird having him rummaging around.

I hear a loud crashing noise and open my eyes. The Doctor is laying on the ground, having knocked over the IV cart I'm far too familiar with. Before I can jump down off the bed, he has bounced back up with a loud "Yeow."

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What did I do?" I ask, ready to run out of the room.

"Nothing. You didn't do anything. That was all me." he says, pulling me into a hug. "Everything's fine."

"No it's not. I hurt you!"

"Not hurt. Look see." he says, patting himself down, "I'm fine. I just got a little startled. Nothing to worry about."

Liar. I pull my knees into my chest and rest my head on them. Why can't I just be normal?

"Ash, I promise that wasn't you. Do you remember anything from before you were found in Cardiff?"

"No."

"That's because all of those memories have been hidden, buried behind some very impressive walls. I bumped into one and it threw me out of your mind. Someone very powerful wants to keep your past a secret."

"But why?"

"Doesn't matter. What matters is now. And now I want you to try to make me grab that glass." he says, pointing to a glass of water he has placed on the bedside table.

"No. I won't."

"Ash, I need to understand what you're doing."

"I might hurt you."

"I promise you won't. Now try to make me grab that glass."

This is a really bad idea. Really bad, but he wants me to make him grab the glass. Stupid Doctor. Not going to work. He said so when we first met. That he would know and stop me if I tried making anyone do anything. I didn't even know I was doing anything then.

"Come on Ash. Try."

Whatever. Okay. Picturing the Doctor grabbing the glass. I really want the Doctor to grab the glass.

"That's not how you stopped the infected on New Earth. Try it properly."

I don't want to. Stupid Doctor. Argh.

GRAB THE BLOODY GLASS!

No. No no no no no no… gonna be sick. Can't breathe. Coughing. Can't stop shaking.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Ash." the Doctor says. He's rubbing my back and doing something with the sonic but I can't stop dry heaving. Please just go away and leave me alone.

"Ash, Ash, shhhhh. You're okay. Just relax." the Doctor says. Nope. Nope nope nope. This… argh… why?

"What happened?" I ask.

The Doctor steps back and starts pacing and running his hands through his hair. "Well… you're lucky that worked and didn't kill you when you stopped the infected. She was so new, her brain so undeveloped, you were able to take total control, but you could just have easily burned out your brain."

"You're like a charging bull, causing a full speed, head-on collision with the mind you're trying to control. When you hit mine, it was like hitting a brick wall. If I hadn't softened the blow, you'd have done some serious damage to yourself."

"Then why'd you tell me to do it?!"

"I wasn't expecting THAT. When you tried to make me take you back to Cardiff, it was softer, more pleading, less bludgeoning with a sledgehammer." he says. "It is very very very important that you don't do that again. No matter the situation, let me take care of it. Promise me."

"You do it to me sometimes, don't you?"

"I… nudge, sometimes."

"Like you nudged me to sleep to stop me from killing Cassandra?"

"You were terrified and lashing out instinctively, so yes, I stopped you in the gentlest way I could. Now promise me you'll let me take care of things and NOT try controlling anyone."

"Fine. I promise. It's not like I want to."

Can I just have a day when I don't have to deal with being sick or crazy revelations or weird talents or worrying about killing people? Just one day…

—

"Let's go on an adventure! We've been cooped up in here all day." Rose tells the Doctor as she waltzes into the console room and wraps an arm around his shoulder. The Doctor and I had been hanging out, him tinkering and me reading when she walked in.

"Nah. Too soon. Ash needs to rest a little more. We'll go somewhere tomorrow." he says.

"We could go somewhere, just the two of us. Ash can rest here on her own. You're, what, 14 now?"

"Tomorrow Rose. You could use some rest too. You did have Cassandra in your head."

"I thought you said I was fine, when you checked me out." Rose says to the Doctor.

"Oh, you are. No damage done. Still, it can be exhausting being compressed like that." he replies.

"Yeah. Having someone in your head can be dangerous, and just… wrong." Rose says, glaring at me.

I get up to leave the room; I'd rather not be around an annoyed Rose. But the Doctor stops me, "Stay there Ash." he says. "Now Rose, we talked about this. In that moment, when Ash tried to make you take her home, she was not in control of her telepathic abilities, and that was my fault, not hers."

"I know. I know. I just really don't like people getting in my head." Rose says walking past the Doctor toward the exit to the kitchen. Passing by me she mouths the words, "Temper tantrum."

The Doctor turns back to his tinkering, while I debate whether I want to go hide in my room. Just as I go to get up though he turns back to me and says, "Ash, I know it might be hard to believe right now, but what Cassandra said about how Rose felt, that wasn't true. She doesn't hate you and she doesn't think you 'messed up her chances with me,' whatever that means."

"Yeah, right. She just made it all up."

"No, no, but have you never had a thought in your head that you didn't really mean?"

"I guess."

"It's okay for Rose to feel disappointed that it isn't just her and I traveling like she thought it would be, but she's accepted that you're here to stay." he says. Ha. not sure his Rose and my Rose are the same person.

"You and Rose can go do something without me. I don't mind. I'd rather just stay in the Tardis anyways." I tell the Doctor.

"Nope. Not going to let you hide away in the Tardis. I know exactly what we're going to do tomorrow, and you're going to love it. No danger, just fun!"

—

"You're a punk." Rose says as I walk into the console room. The Doctor and Rose are listening to some punk rock, not bad.

"It's good to be a lunatic." he says.

"That's what you are. A big old punk with a bit of rockabilly thrown in." Rose replies.

"Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Number One in 1979. Would you like to see them?" he asks us.

"How'd you mean? In concert?", "Really?" Rose and I ask.

"What else is a Tardis for? I can take you to the Battle of Trafalgar, the first anti-gravity Olympics, Caesar crossing the Rubicon or Ian Dury at the Top Rank, Sheffield, England, Earth, 21st November, 1979. What do you think?" he says, looking at each of us in turn. "Alonz-y!"

We make a hard juke to the left as we land and I nearly fall. The Doctor runs straight for the door explaining, "1979. Hell of a year. China invades Vietnam. The Muppet Movie. Love that film. Margaret Thatcher. Urgh. Skylab falls to Earth, with a little help from me. Nearly took off my thumb. And I like my thumb. I need my thumb. I'm very attached to…"

I'm close behind him and hear rifles cocking shortly after he steps through the door. I'm right on his heels, "1879. Same difference." the Doctor says, using one arm to keep me behind him. 1879, these must be Redcoats then.

"You will explain your presence and the nakedness of this girl." The only Redcoat on a horse says, pointing a rifle at us. A captain maybe?

Nakedness? Oh… Rose is wearing a short jean skirt - showing off a lot of leg, and arm for that matter. Glad I'm wearing long shorts and a jumper and can easily pass for a boy.

"Are we in Scotland?" The Doctor asks the Captain.

"How can you be ignorant of that?" the Captain responds.

"Oh, I'm, I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing that wee naked child and this timorous beastie over hill and over dale" the Doctor explains in a perfect Scottish accent as he ruffles my hair.

"Och, aye! I've been oot and aboot." Rose says, doing a very bad impression of a Scottish accent.

"No, don't do that." the Doctor says.

"Hoots mon."

"No, really don't. Really."

"Timorous beastie?" I ask, looking up at the Doctor, "Father, is that anyway to talk about your son?" trying my best not to break into laughter. I'm definitely not going to try to imitate a Scottish accent though.

The Captain smiles down at me from his perch on his horse, then turning to the Doctor asks, "Will you identify yourself, sir?"

"I'm Doctor James McCrimmon, from the township of Balamory. I have my credentials, if I may." Holding out his psychic paper to the Captain, he continues, "As you can see, a Doctorate from the University of Edinburgh. I trained under Doctor Bell himself."

A posh voice from the carriage calls out, "Let them approach."

"I don't think that's wise, ma'am."

"Let them approach." She replies more forcefully.

"You will approach the carriage, and show all due deference." the Captain says motioning us to proceed.

A fancy looking dude opens the door and WOW. Queen Victoria. I'm meeting the Queen!

"Ashton, Rose, might I introduce her Majesty Queen Victoria. Empress of India and Defender of the Faith." The Doctor says, sounding almost as excited as I am.

"Rose Tyler, Ma'am. And my apologies for being so naked."

"I've had five daughters. It's nothing to me."

"You're Majesty." I manage to eke out, bowing awkwardly.

"Doctor. Show me these credentials."

The Doctor hands the Queen the psychic paper.

"Why didn't you say so immediately? It states clearly here that you have been appointed by the Lord Provost as my Protector."

"Does it?" The Doctor takes the psychic paper back and inspects it. How can he not know what's written on it? Anyways, he continues, "Yes, it does. Good. Good. Then let me ask - why is Your Majesty traveling by road when there's a train all the way to Aberdeen?"

"A tree on the line."

"An accident?" The Doctor asks.

"I am the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Everything around me tends to be planned."

"An assassination attempt." I whisper, eyes widening. This could get interesting. So much for no danger, just fun.

The Queen inclines her head towards me, "I'm quite used to staring down the barrel of a gun."

"What, seriously? There's people out to kill ya?" Rose says, but the Queen just looks at her.

The Captain approaches, commenting, "Sir Robert MacLeish lives but two miles hence. We've sent word ahead. He'll shelter us for tonight, then we can reach Balmoral tomorrow."

"This Doctor, his timorous beastie, and the naked child will come with us." The Queen commands.

"Yes, Ma'am. We'd better get moving - it's almost nightfall." replies the Captain before leaving to see to his men.

"Indeed. And there are stories of wolves in these parts. Fanciful tales intended to scare the children." The Queen says, winking at me, "But good for the blood, I think. Drive on!"

—

The Doctor, Rose and I fall in behind the carriage. I'm practically dancing with excitement, "We just met Queen Victoria!"

"I know. Not bad. Not bad at all." the Doctor says.

"It's funny though, because you say assassination and you just think of Kennedy and stuff. Not her." Rose says.

"1879? She's had, oh, six attempts on her life? And I'll tell you something else. We just met Queen Victoria!" the Doctor says. I leave them to their conversation, more interested in the soldiers, real Redcoats right in front of me. So cool.

"I want her to say we are not amused. I bet you five quid I can make her say it." I hear Rose say as I focus back on their conversation.

"Well, if I gambled on that, it'd be an abuse of my privileges as a traveler in time." the Doctor replies.

"Ten quid?" Rose counters.

"Done."

Great. That's sure to end well.

"If it's really an assassination attempt, I bet they're at Sir Robert's. It's probably the only place nearby suitable for the Queen. She'd have to stop there." I say to the Doctor.

"You're right, whoever it is will likely strike somewhere between here and Balmoral so keep your eyes peeled."

"Do you think they'd let me hop on the back of the carriage?" I ask.

The Doctor looks down at me and shakes his head. "No. Nice walk through the Scottish countryside, good for the soul." he says before taking a deep breath, "Just smell that clean Victorian air."

"You wouldn't be saying that if we were anywhere near London in this time.

We'd been walking for forty minutes when we finally make it to Sir Robert's house? Cottage? Estate? Big stone thing? Looks a little hodgepodgy. But there is a huge telescope on the top. I hope we get to take a closer look.

Sir Robert is waiting for us and has a bunch of staff hanging around. Strange staff. They're all bald, middle aged men. He steps forward after the Queen has stepped out of the carriage, "Your Majesty."

"Sir Robert. My apologies for the emergency. And how is Lady Isobel?"

"She's indisposed, I'm afraid. She's gone to Edinburgh for the season. And she's taken the cook with her. The kitchens are barely stocked. I wouldn't blame Your Majesty if you wanted to ride on."

"Oh, not at all. I've had quite enough carriage exercise. And this is charming, if rustic. It's my first visit to this house. My late husband spoke of it often. The Torchwood Estate. Now, shall we go inside? And please excuse the naked girl."

"Sorry." Rose says, looking a little embarrassed.

"She's a feral child. I bought her for sixpence in old London Town. It's was her or the Elephant Man, so…" the Doctor says.

"Thinks he's funny but I'm so not amused. What do you think, Ma'am?" Rose says in her first attempt to get the Queen to say the famous phrase. I wonder if she even ever actually said it, or if it's just a bit of historical fiction.

"It hardly matters. Shall we proceed?" the Queen replies.

Rose turns to the Doctor and whispers, "So close." yeah, right, not even in the ballpark of close.

As we go to follow the Queen into the house, I notice the Captain handing a small locked box to two other Redcoats.

"Makerson and Ramsey, you will escort the property. Hurry up." He says.

"Yes, sir."

I elbow the Doctor, "What do you think is in there?"

The Captain must have heard me because he steps towards us and says, "Property of the Crown. You will dismiss any further thoughts, sir." before finishing his instructions to his men.

It's definitely something cool. Fancy jewelry maybe?

—

"This, I take it, is the famous Endeavour." The Queen says after we've entered the observatory. It's a huge telescope with lots of big gears to help with vertical and horizontal rotation. There's even some kind of inclinometer that looks like a moon and is as tall as the telescope.

"All my father's work. Built by hand in his final years. Became something of an obsession. He spent his money on this rather than caring for the house or himself." Sir Robert says as I walk around it, trailing my hand along a central support.

"I wish I'd met him. I like him. That thing's beautiful. Can I?" The Doctor asks, already walking over to check it out.

"Help yourself."

"What did he model it on?"

"I know nothing about it. To be honest, most of us thought him a little, shall we say, eccentric. I wish now I'd spent more time with him and listened to his stories."

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I nudge the Doctor, "What's all this for?"

He shrugs, "It's a bit rubbish. How many prisms has it got? Way too many. The magnification's gone right over the top. That's stupid…" He stops and looks over at me as I nudge him again, eyes flicking to Sir Roberts. He then turns to Rose, "Am I being rude again?"

"Yep."

"But it's pretty. It's very pretty." He finishes.

"And the imagination of it should be applauded." the Queen adds.

"Mmmm. Thought you might disapprove, Your Majesty. Stargazing. Isn't that a bit fanciful? You could easily be not amused or something? No?" Rose says, fading off towards the end.

"This device surveys the infinite work of God. What could be finer? Sir Robert's father was an example to us all. A polymath, steeped in astronomy and sciences, yet equally well versed in folklore and fairytales." The Queen says.

The Doctor turns to the Queen and says, "Stars and magic. I like him more and more."

"Oh, my late husband enjoyed his company. Prince Albert himself was acquainted with many rural superstitions, coming as he did from Saxe Coburg. When Albert was told about your local wolf, he was transported."

"So, what's this wolf, then?" The Doctor asks.

"It's just a story." Sir Robert says.

"Then tell it."

"Please!" I add.

Sir Roberts begins, "It's said that..."

But one of the staff interrupts. "Excuse me, sir. Perhaps Her Majesty's party could repair to their rooms. It's almost dark."

"Of course. Yes, of course." Sir Robert agrees.

"And then supper. And could we find some clothes for Miss Tyler? I'm tired of nakedness." the Queen adds.

"It's not amusing, is it?" Rose says, trying again!

"Sir Robert, your wife must have left some clothes. See to it." Queen Victoria says completely ignoring Rose. "And then supper.".

"Of course Ma'am." Sir Robert agrees.

"See to it. We shall dine at seven, and talk some more of this wolf. After all, there is a full moon tonight." The Queen instructs.

"So there is, Ma'am."

AN:

I'd like to thank RainySky45 and Ronnie.H for their reviews. I love getting feedback. Hopefully I can live up to expectations!