Difficult Discussions

Zuko awoke to blinding white. Freezing wind pelted his face with fury, and ice stung his cheeks as small pellets were thrown his way. Everything around him swirled like silver ink in water, a cloud so thick he could make out nothing through the confusion.

Squinting, he lifted his hand over his eyes, and was surprised to find it was gloved. He looked down at his body and found he was completely covered in Water Tribe furs.

From somewhere to his right, he heard a shift in the sound of the howling snow: a small rise in the pitch of the storm's voice. "Hello?" Nothing. But he could have sworn he heard something. Slowly, fighting the wind in his face, which seemed determined to carry his body far away in its clutches, Zuko began to walk in the direction of the change. His body began to ache, but he kept going. He was sure he heard something.

That's when the screaming began. At first he thought it was the wind, but as he grew closer to what he guessed was the source of the sounds, he heard the shift again. No longer the deep moaning of the blizzard, but higher, more urgent. More human.

Zuko began to run. Every muscle in his body screamed for him to stop, but the screams he heard were louder. They urged him forward like sirens calling to their prey. He had to reach them.

Gradually, the white swirling of the storm began to part. Gray shapes began to appear and grow until they were no longer just shapes, but Water Tribe people, running toward him in absolute terror. The screams came from them. Pushing passed them, Zuko kept running. On several occasions, he was knocked to the ground, but he kept running. He didn't know why, but he knew he had to find out what they were running from.

"Get away from my sister!"

Sokka?

Zuko pushed through the crowd, frantically searching for his friend. Suddenly, a bright flash of fire lit up the sky. Through the snow, it was even more terrifying than it should have been, a strange dance of orange flame licking through the ice, consuming every last drop in its path.

Zuko pushed toward the source of the flame until he stumbled out into open space. Before him knelt a dark haired girl, sobbing next to the body of a boy in the snow. His clothes were charred and from how he was lying, Zuko could tell he had been thrown.

The girl looked up at him. His eyes widened in shock, "Katara!"

"Zuko!" she screamed, "Run!"

Another flash of fire broke through the storm. Zuko turned towards it and saw a man walking slowly towards them. His laughter filled the air, horrible and cruel. Zuko saw red: This was the man who had burned Sokka, the man who was going to hurt Katara.

Zuko let out a roar fueled by pure rage. He leapt at the man and tackled him to the ground, knocking off his helmet in the process.

Zuko stared in shock as his own face grinned back at him in the snow.

*/*/*

Zuko bolted upright with a cry. Mai was awake in seconds, "Zuko! What the hell?"

Realizing her abrasiveness, she softened, "Are you ok?"

Zuko sighed and muttered. "Yes, everything's fine."

Mai yawned and rolled over, " Ok, go back to sleep."

Zuko nodded half-heartedly. He knew he wouldn't fall back to sleep anytime soon. He didn't want to experience that dream again. "Mai", he said hesitantly, "Could you stay awake with me?"

Mai raised her head and looked over her shoulder, slightly annoyed, "Zuko, you need to sleep."

"I can't"

She turned to face him, "Seriously, Zuko? ... You said everything was fine."

He ran his hand through his hair, "I just feel restless. There's too much going on right now."

Mai met his lips with soft kiss and ran her hand down his neck. Zuko pushed her hand away, "No."

He got out of bed and paced over to the window. Opening it, he leaned on the windowsill and watched the light expanding on the horizon. Mai got up too and embraced him from behind, laying her head on his back. Gently, he released her grip and moved away from her embrace. Mai looked hurt, "I'm sorry Zuko. I just wanted to help."

"I know."

She raised her hand as if to touch his arm, but he turned away, "Just leave me alone."

Mai looked away and nodded, looking as if she was holding back tears. She turned and went back to bed, facing away from him. Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose; thoughts still rambled through his brain.

He knew he had hurt Mai, but he couldn't explain his feelings to her. He wanted to go to her, to tell her he hadn't meant it, but deep down, he knew that wasn't true. She wouldn't understand anyway. She never did.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" Mai whispered. Zuko looked back from the window. "No", he said quietly, "I can't. "

Mai's back answered him with silence.

Zuko sighed. Getting into his tunic and pants, he walked to the door and stepped out of the room.

Walking through the corridors eventually lead him outside, to his mother's garden. The crisp morning air felt good on his skin. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the turtle duck pond and sat down against the rough bark of the bonsai tree. Looking up at the sky, he knew this day would be a very long day.

*/*/*

Katara hadn't slept since the meeting. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw her family. She had almost lost them.

In a desperate attempt to calm herself, she had taken a bath. The feeling of the water surrounding her, the bubbles lifting her hair, and the sweet scent of the jasmine soap had helped, but when she got out, she still couldn't relax enough to sleep. She gave up trying when she heard the birds outside her window.

With a groan, she rolled out of her bed. Maybe a little waterbending would help. The stances always calmed her thoughts and made her feel as if all her worries were floating away on ocean waves. But here, in the middle of the Fire Nation palace, where could she go? Somewhere outside, where she could focus on the sound of the water flowing, and feel its motion. Sure, she could do it in her bathroom, she did have the tub, but natural water felt nothing like a bathtub.

With a flash, it came to her. The garden! There was a pond there. It was man-made, but it was better than the tub, and here, it was probably the best she would get.

Slipping into her clothes, she withdrew into the hallway.

Finding her way through the corridors was tricky without a guide, but she managed to find the one that lead outside, and followed the covered walkway. She was pretty surprised to see Zuko sitting by the water.

He looked like he was sleeping. His head was resting back against the bark of the tree he was under, and, for a moment, Katara considered whether she should enter the garden at all. She didn't want to wake him.

However, a dragonfly hummingbird did it for her. The bird danced gracefully around the young Fire Lord's body, before getting a little too close to his ear. Zuko startled and swatted at the bird instinctively. The bird avoided his hand, and made it out unharmed. The same could not be said for Zuko's nap. Groaning, he leaned forward and rubbed the bridge of his nose, resting his elbow on his knee.

Katara decided to go ahead and announce herself. She walked across the grass towards him, "Zuko!"

Zuko nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked around frantically before he registered her location. He relaxed, "Oh… Hey Katara."

Despite herself, she laughed. She sat down in the grass beside him, "Hey. You couldn't sleep either?"

He shook his head.

Absently, Katara bent a small stream of water out of the pool, weaving it in and out of her fingers with one hand. The motion was similar to one of Aang's coin tricks. For a while the pair sat together in silence.

"You know", she looked over at him, "I meant what I said earlier."

"What?"

"About no one blaming you for the attack."

"Oh. Yeah. I know."

Silence. Something was clearly bothering him.

Katara streamed the water back into the pond, "Hey, are you ok?"

He sighed, "Just a nightmare."

"What about?"

He hesitated, "You actually."

"Me?"

"Well, the attack. I was caught in a blizzard, and I heard screaming. When I ran towards it, I saw you and Sokka being attacked by a firebender. Sokka had already been seriously hurt. You told me to run, but instead, I got angry and I knocked the man to the ground. Except … it was me under the helmet."

Katara stared at him in shock, "That's why you jumped when you heard me?"

He chuckled, "That and the fact that I was half asleep when you yelled."

"Oh … Sorry about that."

"It's ok."

Zuko ran one hand over his head. Katara suddenly realized how exhausted he looked. It was easy to forget that he was only seventeen. No seventeen year old should have had to deal with the problems that Zuko had – that any of them had. But the world was not so forgiving. Katara remembered the broken boy who had come to them after the Day of Black Sun, unsure of his place in the world. She remembered how she had threatened him back then. She held none of that mistrust now.

Was it only three months ago that he saved my life? Just three months since he was crowned Fire Lord, and we put an end to the war?

He was still a child in so many ways. Just like her. But both of them, all of them, had been forced to grow up early.

"Zuko, this really isn't your fault. You couldn't have known about the rogue ships."

His golden eyes flashed with anger, "But I SHOULD have known! They're MY ships!"

"You can't know everything!"

He stood up suddenly, "What do I know about running a nation? I was stupid to think I could just come right on in and take the throne! What's the point of me being here if I can't stop MY OWN SHIPS from hurting MY FRIENDS?" The dewy grass around his feet began sizzling and steaming.

Katara stood up and put her hand on his shoulder, ignoring the heat radiating from him, "Calm down. You're going to burn something."

His eyes widened slightly and he turned away from her, taking deep breaths as if he were meditating. Once he was calm, he turned towards her again, "Sorry. I just … Remember when I came to join the group and I burned Toph by accident?"

"Yes?"

"I feel like I did then. I feel like I messed up. And someone I care about paid the price for it."

Katara hugged him, and he leaned into her.

"Zuko, we're going to figure this out. Together. This is not your fault."

She felt him nod, and he pulled away from her. She let him. They both sat down again under the tree.

Suddenly, Katara didn't want to get back up again. All the exhaustion from that night caught up with her. Her arms and legs felt heavy. As the morning birds sang, the humid, cool air kissed her face gently. She was leaning against something warm, and honestly, the ground wasn't that uncomfortable. Before she knew it, she had dozed off.

*/*/*

Iroh wasn't too surprised to find the young waterbender and the Fire Lord sitting under the bonsai tree together. He was, however, surprised to find them with Katara's head resting on Zuko's shoulder, and Zuko's head resting on top of Katara's, as if it was perfectly natural for the two of them to fall asleep this way.

He chuckled to himself. He knew the two shared a deep mutual friendship that allowed them to be open and honest with each other. But this was just too good an opportunity to pass up.

Iroh gently placed his hand on Zuko's shoulder to wake him, "Zuko."

Zuko's eyes opened slowly, "Uncle?" His eyes focused, and he suddenly realized where he was, "Uncle! What time is it?" He glanced down at his shoulder, noticed Katara leaning on him, and jerked away in surprise. His sudden motion stirred her, and she briskly sat up, blushing, "Um, sorry Zuko … I guess I must've passed out.'

Zuko cleared his throat awkwardly, "It's fine."

"It's almost high noon." Iroh said, "The meeting is about to start. Both of you should go and get ready."

Katara stood up and brushed herself off, "Thanks, General Iroh." She turned to Zuko, "I guess I'll see you there."

Zuko nodded, "Thanks for the talk."

She smiled and left the garden.

Iroh raised his eyebrow at Zuko. Zuko's nervousness seemed to increase three fold, "It was just a talk, Uncle. I needed to clear my head."

Iroh stayed silent, keeping his skeptical expression. He knew their nap in the shade had been perfectly innocent, but he enjoyed messing with his nephew.

"Agni, Uncle!" Zuko snapped in annoyance, "Nothing happened! Katara and I just fell asleep!"

Iroh chuckled, "If you say so, Nephew. Come. We have important decisions to make today."

Zuko sighed, "You're right. Let's go."

As the two of them were headed out of the garden, a flash of light caught Iroh's eye. He turned, causing Zuko to do the same. Zuko's formal robes were sitting on the bannister of the walkway, folded haphazardly.

On top of them sat the royal crown, glinting in the sunlight.