just as a heads up, we won't be seeing much of ben this chapter, simply because rey has so much she needs to be doing rn!

Chapter 7

"Something in the orange tells me we're not done/To you, I'm just a man/To me, you're all I am/Where the hell am I supposed to go?"-Zach Bryan

I didn't have much to do other than wait. I knew we were headed for Exegol. I could only hope that Rey was banding together her team to find a way to get there. I now damned my self for destroying the one on Kef Bir. For taking her prisoner at all. If she had taken it back, we could've met on Exegol much earlier. But that would've meant I wouldn't have spent the recent days with Rey. She wouldn't have pulled me to the Light. I wouldn't have had the chance to show her I could be Ben Solo.

No one bothered me in my chamber, as usual. Not even a servant droid for breakfast. That was fine-I never ate breakfast anyways. I sat in a chair, facing the door, just staring at the door. Waiting for our arrival. The I would board my ship, and I would descend into that thunderous hell and meet Rey, an angel in the midst of it all.

I knew there had to be one more Wayfinder out there. I just hoped they'd be able to find it.

I tried to feel Rey, to reach her, but it was just static-like her mind was so muddled I couldn't get anything cohesive out of it. That was fair, I supposed-she was quite busy, I imagined.

I hoped she didn't resent me for not going with her. Well hell, I hoped she didn't resent me for a number of reasons. I knew Rey though; her heart was so pure, as soon as I told her my plan once we survived, she'd understand. Maybe even sympathize. That's one of the many things that was so incredible about Rey: she was so open-minded, with one honest explanation her loyalty would not waver. That was another thing I could not fathom: that she could be loyal to me.

I knew I didn't deserve any of Rey's faith or companionship. Ever since she first offered me her help, I often belittled myself for wanting her. I told myself what a monster I was, and what my true purpose meant for the Dark Side. And then, after I told her about her ancestry, on Kajimi, and offered that we kill Palpatine together, she had only proved what I believed about myself by rejecting that. But then, only days later, she was accepting that plan. It was simply the context that matter-that I was not using Palpatine's execution as a way to climb the Sith ladder, but to end this rule of darkness once and for all. All along, I had been trying to persuade Rey for the wrong reasons, but my need for her, the need to fulfil the dyad, stayed steady. Now, I knew I was joining her-not out of weakness, but because she had been right the whole time. I was simply too blind to see it, or too desperate to choose not to believe it.

I believed it now, though. Rey had awakened something within me. Something good, and light, and real. Something that made me feel like I could myself again, like I had a shot at being whole. With Rey by my side, I knew I wasn't alone. I knew I was understood, unconditionally. She had always seen the Light in me, when no one else really had. Except for maybe my parents. But they were too afraid to tell me. To bring me back. I know Rey would want me to unlearn that, over time, to see that they were too ill-equipped to handle that situation. She'd try to make me empathize with them. Maybe I could, I didn't know. But it'd take a hell of a lot of convincing.

That was okay. After this was all over, she could spend as much time with me as she, egging me on to be a better version of myself. I wanted that-I wanted to change, and I wanted Rey to help me. Well, as long as I was still alive, I guess. And as long as she would still want to see me. Both things were very up-in-the-air.

For the first time in my life, I felt like things would be okay. I was becoming a changed man. I was actually letting the dyad bloom as it was always meant to. I was going to kill Palpatine. I was going to ensure that Rey survived. That was all that mattered, now. That the center of my galaxy kept thriving.

"Okay, has anyone managed to find out anything about Exegol since we went to get Rey?" Poe had gathered everyone, every last person on our base at Ajan Kloss, together to discuss this. People looked to the persons next to them, shaking their heads, looking to see if anyone stepped up. No one did.

"Great," Poe muttered under his breath, which I could hear as I was next to him. "Well, we need to rifle through every data pad and Holo and book we have-we need to find out how we get to Exegol." He spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, which wasn't hard, for Poe was already a pretty loud person.

"General Dameron, we've already gone through the bulk of what we have-the droids confirmed it, the records simply don't exist." A voice from a few rows back was speaking. I had been slightly peeved that in Leia's demise, Poe had been made General. I handled it much easier when I learned he made Finn his Deputy General.

"I know, I know, but from recent intelligence, we've learned we have to get to Exegol soon. As in, as soon as physically possible, soon." I hated to admit it, but Poe did kind of make a good leader. I couldn't tell him, though. It'd go right to his head.

"The 'Final Order' or whatever is planning on destroying us anyways, why would willingly meet that fate sooner than we have to?" Another voice was speaking, but it was beginning to fade into the background for me. Because my mind was being pulled elsewhere.

It was just a faint whisper, or a slight beckon-difficult to explain. But I felt a strange pull. I started to walk away from the meeting, and I could feel people watching me, but no one mentioned it. I could feel the questioning rolling off of Finn.

I weaved in between crates and large Holos, screens and equipment, before I reached where Leia's shroud had been. I numbed myself to that dull ache of grief before it could hit, forcing myself to focus. Why was I being called to see this? Leia was gone, no more messages were going to come from her. Or were they?

I inspected the little area, trying to see if there was anything remotely relevant to the task at hand, of getting to Exegol. And then I saw it, on top of a small chest of some of Leia's belongings, tucked away under an industrial-looking desk. It was a band of some sort of leather that Luke had given her, a long time ago, before Ben was even born, I think. I guess she had meant to put it on that day. Or maybe she was simply reminiscing, missing her brother.

I crouched down to sit on my heels, and reached for it. I felt slightly guilty to be touching Leia's things, without permission, but I felt the call concentrate here, at this chest. I had to feel why that was.

As soon as my calloused fingertips touched the rough leather, flashes of images flew in front of my eyes. Leia training with Luke. Leia waving the band in front of an infant Ben, who reached it for it with amusement. Leia feeling grief over losing her son. Of losing her husband. Of losing Luke. But then, the final images were all of something Leia herself had not seen: it was Ahch-To. It was my memories of training there with Luke. And then, the final one, was of me gazing down at Luke's X-wing under the water where he had left it, on the first day I ever met him.

The images stopped flashing. I pulled my hand back from the band. Ahch-To. Luke. The X-wing. In a very nonsensical way, it was all making sense now. Luke's mission to find the Wayfinder. I hadn't picked up where his trail went cold-on the contrary, it hadn't went cold at all.

With only my staff and sabre at hand, I sprinted to the dinkiest ship we had, something disposable, as I knew we wouldn't be getting it back, most likely.

Once I was in the cockpit, I set my coordinates for Ahch-To.

I tried resting again, but sleep was eluding me. I was too anxious to get to Exegol, to see Rey. To even feel her presence, or what she was feeling.

I decided to head down to the combat chambers to channel my nerves into exercise. It helped make me tired, but did nothing to put my mind at ease. My thoughts were focused on Rey, and Rey only. Even when I contemplated how my life after defeating Palpatine would unravel, I always brought myself back to think about her. She was the center of my life, now. Maybe she always had been; all my life, I knew I was missing something. My life felt incomplete. When I heard of a scrappy, mysterious scavenger girl from Jakku, something about her pulled me in. She had become the gravitational pull they tethered me to the planet, wherever it may be. Without her, I knew I would be nothing. We were a dyad-two halves to make a whole. I just hoped she desired that as much as I did.

I showered when I got back to my room, standing under the cold water, letting it run down my back until I shuddered. I had spent so much of my life telling myself that I belonged in the dark, in the cold, without love or friendship or any semblance of positive emotions. But ever since Rey began to see me, to know me...that changed so quickly it gave me whiplash. She had appeared in my life so suddenly, and she turned it upside down. No, that wasn't right-she didn't turn it upside down. She placed my world on its axis, right where it needed to be. She needed Ben Solo-she needed me.

Getting to Ahch-To felt so natural now, even though it had eluded the Resistance's grasp for ages. It felt like second-nature. I knew that everyone on the base had watched my X-wing rise into the sky and shoot off into space. I hoped they'd continue with their search, because if nothing ended up actually being on Ahch-To, I not only would have wasted resources and time, but would be costing lives. That's why I should have felt more nervous than I did, but that was because I had such a sincere feeling of sureness about Ahch-To that I was nearly cocky.

When I got to the planet and landed haphazardly on the island Luke had inhabited, I made my way swiftly up the cliffs faster than I ever had before. The Lanai looked displeased to me, but I ignored them, willing myself to go further. By the time I reached the hut that Luke had destroyed once he saw Ben and I's moment-which seemed like eons ago now-I noticed the Lanai were working steadily to rebuild it. I continued across the rocks to the ribbed edge of the island, where I knew Luke's old X-wing was submerged under the blue and white froth of the waves, nestled between the teeth of the shore.

By the time I got there, I was soaked with sweat and panting, my chest and legs burning, but I had to focus now. I needed to think about how I was going to get that Wayfinder-swimming seemed idiotic, seeing as I didn't know how to swim and it seemed impractical even if I could. Lifting it out of the water was probably my best option, but even then I wasn't sure I could lift something of that magnitude and set it somewhere where it wouldn't destroy some other infrastructure. I could set it awkwardly on the slope of a rock that jutted up in the air. It'd be difficult to get in that way, but I'm sure Luke wouldn't mind if I had to break a window or two...

"You're right," a voice called. "I wouldn't." I turned quickly, recognizing the voice and feeling the pull of the Force as it gathered around him. I hurriedly slammed up my mental walls.

It was Luke, looking just like he had the last time I saw him. He was encapsulated in the blue, hazy glow that was typical of Force ghosts. He gave me a knowing smile, like he expected I'd come looking for the Wayfinder.

"Master Skywalker!" I exclaimed, equal parts happy and confused. "Why are you here? Why have you come to see me?" I figured Luke was ready to be at peace in the great beyond, not spending his afterlife checking up on a war he was never particularly interested in in the first place.

"Do I have to have a reason for checking in on you, kid?" He asked. I missed his humor so much, even though it made me annoyed most of the time.

"Of course not, sir," I replied, smiling back at him now. "I was just wondering why you're here now. Why you didn't come to the base or something." It was true-if he came to the base, maybe he could actually help impart wisdom on people who really needed it right now.

"I know what you're after. And you're right, it's in there." He nodded down the edge of the cliff. I looked down with him to watch another wave crash against the jagged grey rock, spraying against the water that rippled slightly above the ship.

"Why didn't you say something about it while I was here? Why didn't you leave it with Leia?" I asked, genuinely confused as to why he'd leave something so precious in an old hunk of junk under the water. I watched Luke shrug ever so slightly.

"It was dangerous, I knew that," he replied. Always on the defensive, he was. "I didn't want to burden anyone else with that knowledge, let alone risk it falling into the wrong hands."

"Well, the other one's already fallen into Kylo Ren's hands. A while back, though." I was not going to open up the conversation about how Kylo Ren was now Ben and how Ben had asked me to follow him to Exegol and how the Resistance thought it was a trap and so on. We didn't have time to unpack all of that. If he came back around after this was all over, I'd happily explain it to him then, with Ben at my side.

"I sensed that. I knew he'd find it eventually. After all, he is Palpatine's apprentice." I bit the inside of my cheek at that. I wanted to come to Ben's defence, but knew I needed to just get the Wayfinder and get going. But the mention of the Emperor brought another question to the forefront of my brain.

"Did you know?" I asked, knowing he'd know exactly what I was talking about. Luke had to smooth out his face, letting any semblance of casualness drop, as he appeared blank as possible. But then his brow creased ever so slightly, and I could tell he was feeling remorse, or pain, at my question.

"Yes, I did," he answered. "Not at first, but when the Darkness called to you so quickly...I knew then." He was speaking almost sheepishly. Strange for a Jedi hero.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered. I was at a loss. It seemed like everyone knew these things I had spent my life trying to figure out, but wouldn't share them with me. It was like when Unkar Plutt's thugs would taunt me with their grand-sized portions when I was starving, so close to just eating sand to quiet my stomach. I craved this knowledge so intensely, and even the people I loved wouldn't tell me. Except Ben-he didn't keep it from me. Even if it was revealed in an attempt to lure me to the Dark Side.

"I knew if I told you, you'd only be swallowed by the Darkness," he said matter-of-factly. "I had to let you learn it from within, or at least not from your Master. I was afraid, Rey-I hadn't seen that kind of power since Kylo Ren. I was not going to let that happen again." This was Luke's way of apologizing, I could tell. I swallowed past the lump in my throat. A tiny part of me wanted to lash out in anger, to resent him for hiding so much from me. But the greater part could only understand and forgive. He did as I would have done, if I had been in his position. It's not like he gained happiness, keeping such a truth hidden from me.

"I understand," I admitted, my voice sounding a bit strange above a whisper. "Thank you, Master Skywalker." I meant it-he had done so much for me. He was why I felt as though I could handle this battle, because I knew I could stay in the Light. He had given me more gifts in this life than he knew, and my gratefulness stretched across the abyss into the place where the departed rest, so he could feel it, too.

I watched as he relaxed a bit at my intent. Now that we were settled on that, I had a favor to ask.

"I need to get that Wayfinder," I stated.

"Ah, you're going to Palpatine? Do you think you can handle that?" He wasn't patronizing, I knew this, but I felt a twinge of bitterness. Yes, I could handle it.

"Yes on both counts," I nodded with confidence. "I won't be alone." I said, before realizing what I was saying.

"What do you mean?" Luke looked incredulous now. "Non-Force wielders should not be at this dual, it's unsafe." I nodded.

"Of course," I agreed. "I'll have the rest of the Jedi with me, at my side." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth, either. If he knew I'd be reuniting with Ben for this mission, he'd spiral and I didn't have time for that. I promised myself I would explain it all to him later.

"Yes, you will," Luke nodded sagely. "I suppose you need my help?" He was nodding down to the ship again. I looked at him a bit sheepishly and wrinkled my nose.

"Yes, if you don't mind," I admitted. Luke chortled at me.

"Of course I don't, kid," he assured me. Without warning, I heard the cacophony of rushing water as the ship was slowly unsubmerged, rising out of the sea. I peeked my head over the edge of the cliff to watch the ship be sucked up by Luke's Force, and it rose until it was quite above my head. It was dripping with ocean water, covered in tangling vines of seaweed and other plants. The bottom half of the ship was dotted periodically with something called barnacles-Luke had shown me what they were when I was here training, which felt like a lifetime ago.

The ship creaked as it moved past me, coming to land gently on the somewhat slanted ground, wetting the grass underneath it. Luke didn't even have to put his hand out or anything, I noticed. Maybe he was even stronger, enveloped in the Force completely now that he was one with it.

"There you go," he told me, his face a mix of pride and welcome and anticipation. I flashed him a smile before running over the few feet to it. The door underneath it groaned when I pried it open, but came loose nonetheless with some help from the Force. Water poured out of it for a couple of seconds, and I waited until the stream turned into just a trickle. I hoisted myself up with a grunt, and if it weren't for the present situation, I could've spent a while looking at Luke's old ship.

It was damp and dank, smelling of brine and rust. I opted to breath from my mouth while I was in here. I saw an old Resistance helmet that was covered in mold spores, and there were lots of waterlogged items strewn about that I wasn't entirely sure what they actually were. I closed my eyes, and focused on the task at hand.

I evened my breathing and willed my mind to search for the Wayfinder, knowing the Dark Side of the Force would be swirling around it. It only took a short moment before I felt the prick of its sinister thorns, calling to me from the cockpit.

I opened my eyes and made my way to the cramped, cold space that was the cockpit. Which was just in front of me, as the 'lobby' area of this ship was basically a small square I had to crouch down in, ensuring I didn't fall through the bottom hatch. It was an awkward position to be in, so I sort of tip-toed on the side of the square before latching my hands onto the sides of the now-destroyed seat of the cockpit, and pulled my torso through the space between the wall and the head rest.

I had to focus again on where precisely the call was coming from, but I felt it pulling on me from under a circuit board. Well, I guess there weren't too many places to hide such a thing on a ship like this. I had to pry open the circuit board, which was full of sea water, and gingerly stuck two of my fingers in to pick up the pyramid-shaped object.

It was just like the one I had seen on Kef Bir. Framed by a dark, stone-like skeleton, encapsulating a green, glowing screen with a red glimmer on the inside. It would show me the way. To Palpatine, to the end of this war, to Ben. To my destiny.

But I didn't have time to think about that. I simply grasped the object firmly in my hand, and shimmied my way out of the ship. When I landed on the grass, I could still see Luke's glimmering form just beyond the ship.

I approached him with slight trepidation, wondering if maybe he had changed his mind and wouldn't allow me to go. Or, I suppose, wouldn't give me his blessing. But just like with Leia, I would go without his permission. But he looked totally fine, cool and collected, even looking at me with pride and confidence. It made me feel even more determined, more sure of what I was doing.

"I know it's not much, but thank you, Master Skywalker," I told him solemnly. "You've done so much for me...I'm eternally grateful. I promise I'll make you proud." I ended on a note of confidence. He chuckled at me.

"I know, Rey," he admitted. "I know you will. I wouldn't have let you get that thing if I wasn't so sure." I vaguely wondered if, as a Force ghost, he'd be able to stop me or something.

"I've got to get going," I admitted, realizing how much time I had already spent on this island. Luke nodded at me once, with a knowing glint in his eye. He would be by my side through this, I knew.

"May the force be with you," he called to me as I turned to head back to my own X-wing. I stopped and had to smile to myself. Luke Skywalker had just said that to me, entrusting me with fulfilling his legacy. I felt the Force swirl around me, glowing with its positivity. I looked over my shoulder at him.

"Always." I confirmed. I watched the wind blow his form away, and ran back to my ship.

Once in there, I was settling myself down into my seat. I was headed for Exegol, and I was letting Poe and the rest of the Resistance know.

We'd be there soon.

A/N: hope you guys are enjoying the story thus far! buckle in for a wild ride the next few chapters :)