"Jay, what if we can't make this work?" Erin asked worriedly as they walked into Jay's apartment. "What if you give up your career and everything here and move to New York and we still can't make it work? We couldn't make it work the first time, and things were easier then."

Jay turned to look at Erin. "We couldn't make it work the first time because I was stupid and selfish and didn't want to let you in. I didn't want you to see the messy side of me because I was scared that it would change things; that if you saw how screwed up I was, you wouldn't love me anymore."

"That would never happen," Erin replied emphatically.

"I know that now," Jay stated. "Just like I know that no matter what, I want to be by your side. Erin, I was ready to propose to you the night that you left. I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Nothing's changed." He reached out and pulled her to him. "If anything, I'm even more in love with you now than I was then. I promise you that we will make this work."

"You were going to propose?" Erin tried to process what Jay had just told her. "Why? We weren't even together then."

"Because I knew that I loved you, and that I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to show you that I wasn't going anywhere," Jay informed her. He reached up and gently brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "I didn't want you to have to go through everything alone."

"I didn't know," Erin said softly.

"Would it have changed anything?" Jay wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that question, but he had to ask it.

"I don't have any answer for that, Jay; I'm sorry. I was in an impossible situation. If I stayed, I'd lose my badge and Bunny would go to prison for murder. Not to mention the intelligence unit would have been under even more scrutiny." Erin sighed. "It would have changed the way I did it, though. I wouldn't have left without saying goodbye. I wouldn't have ghosted everyone. Maybe we would have found a way to make it work."

"Do you regret leaving?" Jay asked.

"If I hadn't left, I wouldn't have Cami. And as horrible as it was to go through what I did, what I'm still going through, I can't imagine my life without her now," Erin replied honestly. "I regret how I left, but no, I don't regret leaving."

"You said she was six weeks early; is that why you call her Peanut?" Jay wondered.

Erin smiled. "Kind of. That's what I called her when I was pregnant, before I knew whether I was having a boy or girl, and it just kind of stuck after she was born, especially with how small she was."

2 Years Ago

Erin woke up, startled. She wasn't sure at first what had woken her up, but her senses were on high alert. She sat up and listened for a few moments, wondering if she'd heard a noise and that was what had woken her up, but she didn't hear anything. She'd just laid back down to try and go back to sleep when a pain gripped her stomach. She tried to brush it off as Braxton Hicks, but this was different; it was stronger than anything she'd experienced before.

Erin breathed through the pain, and, once the contraction had passed, grabbed her phone off her nightstand and called Hank.

"Erin? What's wrong?" Hank answered.

"Hank, I think I might be in labor, but I'm not sure," Erin rushed out.

"Talk to me; what's going on?" Hank was immediately awake.

"I don't know; I just…something woke me up, I think it must have been a contraction, and just when I was trying to get back to sleep, I felt another contraction. Maybe it's just Braxton Hicks and I'm overreacting, but it felt different," Erin informed him. "Hank, I'm scared; it's too early."

"Start timing them," Hank instructed her. He thought back to when Justin was born, trying to remember how it had been for Camille, but he was drawing a blank. He'd give anything to have Camille here right now, comforting Erin and telling her exactly what to do. "Do you want to call Liv?"

"No; I don't want to bother her yet, just in case it's not real." Erin insisted.

Hank frowned, not feeling comfortable with that. "Start timing the contractions. I'll be on the next flight I can get."

"Hank, there's no sense in that. I don't even know if it's real-" Erin's voice cut out before she could finish.

"Erin? What's going on? Are you okay?" Hank asked, panicked as he heard a moan from the other end. He was already out of bed, throwing clothes into a carry-on.

"That one was stronger than the last one." Erin whispered, sounding scared.

Hank could hear the fear in Erin's voice. "Call Liv. I'll be there as soon as I can."

As soon as Erin hung up the phone with Hank, she dialed Olivia's number. "Liv, it's Erin. I think I'm in labor. Can you take me to the hospital?" she asked when Olivia answered.

Once Olivia had assured her that she'd be there as soon as she could, Erin hung up the phone and began packing her hospital bag. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Hank had planned to fly in a week before Erin's due date to stay with her and make sure she wasn't alone and so he could be there for the birth. She was only 36 weeks; it was still too early for the baby to come.

Hank rushed out of the elevator on the labor and delivery floor. When he'd landed, six hours after Erin had called him, he'd had a text waiting from Olivia stating that Erin was indeed in labor and that the doctors hadn't been able to get it stopped. He knew how scared Erin had to be and wanted nothing more than to be by her side. He hadn't been able to there after she was raped and it was one of the biggest regrets of his life. He wasn't going to let her go through this alone.

He quickly made his way down the hall to the room number Olivia had sent him. He paused outside the open door as he heard Erin moaning in pain. He once again found himself wishing that Camille was there, as he felt entirely unprepared to deal with the sight of the woman he thought of as a daughter in so much pain. She wasn't, though, and he would have to manage.

"You came," Erin whispered when he stepped inside of the room once the moaning had stopped. Tears began streaming down her face as the only father she'd ever known walked over to her bad, taking her outstretched hand in his.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Hank assured her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "How you doin', kiddo?"

"The nurse said I was eight centimeters when she checked an hour ago," Erin replied with a sigh.

Hank was thankful that at least things seemed to be moving quickly. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stand hours more of seeing Erin in pain. That was the thing about being a parent: you would do anything to take away your child's pain.

Before he could reply, another contraction gripped Erin. She squeezed his hand tightly as she moaned and tried to breathe through the pain.

"You're doing great; just keep breathing through it," Olivia coached from the other side of Erin.

Erin leaned her head back and closed her eyes as the contraction eased. She was already so tired, and she'd only been doing this for six hours. She knew from the pregnancy books she'd read that labors with your first baby often lasted anywhere from twelve to nineteen hours, which meant she could be at this for a while still.

"Do you want an epidural?" a nurse asked, walking into the room.

Erin shook her head. "No pain medicine," she insisted as yet another contraction hit. She couldn't risk it; she wouldn't risk it. She had a daughter to think about now; she didn't want to do anything that might cause her to relapse. She was determined that she was going to be a better mom than Bunny.

Erin moaned as the contraction continued. They were getting stronger and harder to breathe through. A tear slipped out of her eye. This isn't how it was supposed to be. She was thankful to have Hank and Olivia at her side, but they weren't supposed to be there. It was supposed to be Jay by her side, encouraging her and holding her hand as she gave birth to their child. But that wasn't the case. She was giving birth to her rapist's child in New York, and Jay was back in Chicago, oblivious to it all. It wasn't fair.

"Are you sure I can't get you something for the pain? There are other options beside epidurals," the nurse hedged.

Erin, still in the midst of the contraction, simply glared at the woman, who couldn't seem to comprehend the fact that she didn't want any pain medication. She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Hank was speaking.

"She doesn't want any pain medication," he said roughly. "She already told you that."

"A lot of moms change their minds, especially first time moms," the nurse replied defensively.

"Erin isn't one of them. She has her own reasons for not wanting pain medicine, reasons that are none of your business. So I suggest you stop asking," Hank said, his tone making it clear there was no room for argument.

"Thank you," Erin whispered once the nurse had left and the contraction had passed. She was incredibly thankful that Hank was there; being back in the same hospital she'd been treated at after her rape was harder than she'd expected, and she couldn't imagine doing this herself. "Thank you for being here."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," Hank assured her.

Three hours later, Erin gave one final push and her daughter was born. "You have a beautiful baby girl," the doctor informed her as she placed the baby on Erin's stomach.

Tears streamed down Erin's face as she looked at her daughter and immediately fell in love. "Hi baby girl," she murmured. "I'm your mom."

Present Day

"Have you…" Jay hesitated, not sure whether this was something he should be asking, but he wanted to know the answer. "Have you ever thought about whether you want to have more kids?

"Yes, but I never thought it would happen. When I was in labor with Cami, all I could think about was how it was supposed to be our child, how you were supposed to be there at my side rather than Hank. I want more kids. I want to give Cami at least one brother or sister; I just thought it was always just a dream," Erin replied softly.

Jay felt like his heart was going to explode from happiness. He would have been fine had Erin said she didn't want any more kids, and he already adored Cami and nothing would ever change that, but he'd hoped that Erin would say she wanted more. "You're amazing, Erin Lindsay," he murmured, rubbing her cheek with his thumb.

Erin stared at Jay for a minute, desire filling her eyes. "Jay," she breathed before leaning up and kissing him.

Jay kissed her back, gentle at first, but Erin didn't want that. She deepened the kiss, her tongue tangling with his, her hands fisting the front of his shirt in her hands. Jay's hands went to her sides, slipping under her shirt just as they had earlier.

God. The things this woman could do to his body with just a kiss. Jay was struggling to maintain control. He'd missed this; he'd missed her. But he knew he couldn't rush her. He broke the kiss, pulling back just enough to look into her eyes, wanting to ensure she was okay.

Erin didn't hesitate. Her hands let go of his shirt, sliding down his body until they were resting just above the waistband to his pants. She pushed the hem of his shirt up enough to slip her hands underneath and slipped just the tips of her fingers inside his waistband, something that she knew from experience drove him crazy. She could feel him against her, already growing hard. "Jay, I want this," she whispered before leaning up and capturing his lips in hers once again.

It wasn't like it was three years ago. Their kisses weren't desperate and needy. Instead, they were slow and gentle, savoring each moment. It was what Erin needed, but it was also what they both wanted. They'd spent three years without each other; they didn't want to rush anything.

Jay's fingers played with the hem of Erin's tshirt, wanting nothing more than to rid her of it, but resisting, not wanting to do anything she wasn't comfortable with. Instead, he moved his hands to her hair, tangling his fingers in it as he kissed her. Erin pressed herself against him and he fought back a groan at the feeling of her body against his.

Erin felt Jay's hardened cock against her, growing harder as she traced circles with her fingers just inside his waistband. He broke the kiss, dropping his head to her shoulder and groaning. She took in a shuddering breath, his groan and the feeling of his cock pressing against her arousing her even more than she already was. She slipped her fingers farther into his waistband, sliding them around to the front, earning herself another groan from Jay.

Jay's cock was straining uncomfortably against the zipper of his jeans as he slid his hands down Erin's sides, eliciting a moan from her that only made him harder. He shifted against her, trying to reposition himself to get relief.

Jay's actions cause Erin to moan again, "Jay." She slid her hands out of his waistband, grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging at it, making it clear she wanted it off. He quickly complied, and Erin began running her hands along his bare sides and chest as she once against captured his lips in hers. Her tongue fought for entrance to his mouth, and he parted his lips, their tongues tangling together.

Jay slowly backed them towards the nearby wall, pressing Erin against it, savoring the feel of her body against his, even as the situation in his pants grew more uncomfortable. His fingers found their way to the hem of her shirt, pushing it up as he slid his hands up along her sides. Erin moaned into his mouth and his cock throbbed. He slid his hands around to her back, unclasping her bra, giving his hands access to her breasts. She gasped as he ran his thumbs across her nipples before gently pinching them between his finger and thumb and tugging gently.

Erin reached down, grabbing the hem of her own shirt, and pulling it over her head, pulling her lips away from his just long enough to remove it, before quickly ridding herself of her bra. She felt a moment of hesitation and fear but pushed it aside. She wanted Jay, and she was determined to push through her emotions to get what she wanted.

Jay pressed himself into Erin harder, and she gasped at the feeling. She felt her panties grow damp with arousal as he continued his ministrations to her breasts. "Jay," she gasped, breaking the kiss and throwing her head back.

In one quick movement, Jay picked Erin up, making his way towards his bedroom as she wrapped her legs around his waist, her lips once again claiming his as he did so. He set her down gently on the edge of the bed and her fingers flew to his belt, making short work of ridding him of his jeans, freeing his cock from its restraints. He quickly rid her of her own pants before laying her back on the bed and climbing up beside her. "Erin, are you sure?" he asked gently. As painful and difficult as it would be to stop now, he didn't want to do anything she wasn't ready for.

"I want you, Jay," she murmured, looking him in the eyes. "Please."

Jay hadn't thought it possible, but his cock grew even harder at her words, making him groan. He quickly rid himself of his boxers before stripping off her panties, their dampness not going unnoticed by him.

He decided against straddling her, not wanting to risk triggering anything, instead lying beside her and pulling her against him as she wrapped her leg around him. He reached down between her legs and began stroking her clit. He was rewarded by her throwing her head back and crying out.

Erin felt herself grow closer and closer to her release as Jay continued to stroke her clit. She writhed beneath his touch, and she felt herself grow more wet than she'd thought possible. "Jay..." she moaned. "I'm close. Please."

Jay positioned himself at her entrance and slowly, gently pushed inside of her, filling her up. They both moaned at the feeling. He remained still for a moment, savoring the feeling of being insider her, and then began moving, slowly at first, then picking up speed.

Erin had held her breath as Jay pushed inside of her, afraid that the movement would trigger something in her and that she wouldn't be able to continue. It didn't, however; all she felt was intense pleasure. She gasped as Jay reached his hand between them to continue stroking her clit. She went tumbling over the edge as she moaned Jay's name.

Jay groaned as he felt Erin tighten around his cock. God, she felt so good. She was so tight and wet and it was even better than he'd remembered. He continued thrusting into her as she found his lips, kissing him hard. Then, with surprising strength, she flipped him onto his back, straddling him as she moved her hips back and forth, grinding her hips against his, eliciting another groan from him. He watched as her breasts bounced around, unable to stop himself from reaching his hands up to cup them, squeezing and tugging gently.

Erin began circling her hips and pushing down onto him, throwing her head back and moaning as his cock hit just the right spot, sending an intense wave of pleasure through her body. She felt him throb inside of her and knew he was close. She pulled up slightly before lowering herself down again quickly, moaning again as his cock once again hit the spot. She was so close to coming again; she could feel it. But this time she wanted him to come with her.

Jay's hands left Erin's breasts and skimmed over her body as she began grinding against him again. He closed his eyes and groaned as he felt her beginning to tighten around him again. "God, Erin," he growled, his hands coming to rest on her hips, gripping them tightly.

"Jay," she gasped, feeling herself slide over the edge once again. This time he came with her.

Erin laid next to Jay, her head on his chest, as they both tried to catch their breath. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" Jay asked sleepily.

"For being patient. And gentle. For allowing me to do this how I needed to. For not giving up on me. For never stopping loving me," Erin replied softly. "I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to do this again. I thought this was yet another thing he'd robbed me of. But I was wrong."