11

ACOTAR

When a guard knocked on her door with a large plate of food in his hands, she waited until she heard him leave. Then she walked up to Eris's room, but not before leaving the note Helion left her in her room. She knocked. He didn't answer. Knocked again. There was no food in front of his door, so she was sure he was in there. She was about to knock again when the door opened up.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was cold.

"I thought we might have dinner together." She lifted her plate.

"I thought you didn't want any company." He said, leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over each other.

She shrugged. "You're different." Something flashed in his eyes. "And besides, if I had dinner with Helion, he would not stop flirting."

He stepped away, letting her in his room. His room was much smaller than hers, still big and respectable for an heir, but not as fancy and nice as hers. She walked over to the queen's size bed instead of the little sitting area on the other side of the room and flopped down. Eris watched her for a long moment as she sipped her wine before he took his own plate and sat down beside her.

"I thought you would enjoy the attention of a High Lord."

She scowled. "Do you really think so lowly of me? It's not because I like to have sex, that I have sex with just anyone."

"But he isn't just anyone, is he?"

"Maybe I made a mistake coming here." She stood up but Eris grabbed her elbow softly.

"I'm just trying to understand you."

"No, you're accusing me." She ripped her arm out of his grasp, but before she could reach the door, Eris was in front of her. His warm, large hands rested on her bare shoulders. It warmed her whole body.

"I just -" He sighed. "Very few say no to Helion."

She looked up at him and said. "Nesta Archerson didn't fall for him." He stilled but still, he didn't breathe a word about his proposal to her. About the fact, he chose her as a potential life partner. She closed off her mind, her feelings, everything and took a step back. She crossed her arms over her chest and said. "Do you want to know why I don't accept his invitations?" She didn't wait for him to speak and said, "Because I know about his history with your mother. And Lady Lirone is like a second mother to me, that thought alone feels..." A shudder ran through her body. "So, me and Helion... never going to happen."

"You - you know about..."

"Yes, your mother told me when I found her crying as she held a small painting of him."

"Did you ever tell me?"

"No. She asked me not to. I never told anyone."

"Do you know about Luc-" She stepped forward and clapped her hand over his mouth.

"This room isn't protected from eavesdroppers." She whispered. "I know." She lowered her hand slowly, they were standing almost chest to chest now.

"How come you know everything?"

"I've told you it's part of my job."

"And that entails..." He tilted his head, the side of his lips lifted up. She had a hard time not looking at those lips, or to gaze too much into his eyes. Fucking hell!

She stepped back. "Let's just say most people would call me a spy." She sat back on the bed and started on her food again. Eris watched her as he came closer and sat back down next to her but didn't ask any more questions.

ACOTAR

When she finished dinner, Eris watched as she fell back on the bed, stretching her arms above her head. Revealing another tattoo on her hip. His throat had gone dry.

"How many tattoos do you have?" He asked hoarsely.

"How many have you seen?" She asked, her eyes were closed but she smiled.

He thought about it. "Four."

"Add five more. What about you? Or is your body still untouched." She made that sentence sound more like something sexual.

"No tattoos. Never had something important enough to put on my body permanently." She hummed but didn't open her eyes, he laid down next to her. His head tilted her way as his eyes roamed over her body, thinking about where and what is tattooed on that perfect curvy body. She smirked like she knew what he was thinking about. "Can I ask you something?" The smirk faded. "Nothing about our past, I promise."

"Alright." She rolled on her side and opened her eyes. For fuck's sake, his breath hitched as her green eyes fell on him.

"How did you meet the High Lords? What's the story there?"

"I've met Kallias over two hundred years ago. He heard of me and hired me for a job inside his Court. I stayed there for ten years. I grew close to him and Viv. They were already madly in love with each other, but too blind to see it." A soft smile grazed her face. His fingers twitched on the blanket as he tried to refrain himself from touching her face. He wondered if he was that blind when he was younger. "I met Thesan before he was a High Lord, before he met the Captain of his Guard. I was between jobs and was horse-riding through the forest near the Sacred Mountain when I came across him. He was just about to be dragged in the water by a Kelpie."

"You saved him."

She hummed with a soft smile. "He still owes me a life dept." She chuckled. "He met Deacon, the Captain of his Guard just a few days after. They fell for each other almost instantly."

"Do you think they're Mates?"

"I don't know. I think the Mate thing is highly overrated. Even if they would meet someone else that happens to be their Mate, they wouldn't give each other up." She played with a loose string on the blanket.

He didn't know what to think about her views on Mates. Because the pull towards her, it made him think she was his or maybe it was just because his mind is trying to remember her again. But it could take centuries before it comes out. Sometimes you would know on the spot, other times the bond activates after a kiss, or sex. Or acceptance. Or you figure out when it's too late, when they are married, or you've lost them. He really wished he could stretch out the time before they would arrive at the Night Court.

"What about Helion?" He asked, changing the subject from Mates before he would find out more, he didn't want to know.

"Through work. He needed my... expertise. That was, I think over hundred seventy years ago. We stayed in contact."

"Do you stay in contact with everyone who hires you?"

"Gods, no." She snorted very un-lady like. He loved it. "But there are people who just stay with you. They are among them."

"And the other High Lords?"

"Tarquin is a friend too. I've met him when he was just a kid, doing a job for his parents. I just saw him before I came to the Autumn Court. And Tamlin... It's been a long time since I saw him. We were friends once, with Lucien being there." Her brows furrowed together as she picked at the loose string. "But I've been gone for a long time, and I heard what happened to him, what he did. I want to talk to the Feyre first and Lucien before I decide what to do with him."

"You've met Feyre before?"

"No." She shook her head. "Like I said, I've been gone for a while. About seventy years. I just came back earlier this year." Her eyes glazed over as she spoke about her time away. Where the hell had she been. She mentioned at the Winter Court, she didn't know about Amarantha, about Under the Mountain. So, that meant she wasn't anywhere near Prythian then. "But I know Rhys."

"Really?" He couldn't help but grumble.

"He was actually one of the first I met after I left. He helped me with the...transition."

He took in a shaky breath, reaching his hand out to touch hers. "I'm glad you had someone to help you through it."

She looked down at the hand that laid atop of hers. He froze when she started playing with his fingers before she interlocked their fingers together. She was biting her lower lip when she looked up at him. And he wanted to pull her lips between his teeth with everything in him.

"Eris, I-" She breathed. She breathed his name and that was almost his undoing, almost broke the wall between them and kissed her. Her green eyes were wholly fixed on him, and he was drowning, drowning in those green coloured eyes of hers. He was barely breathing, his eyes darkening and hers followed. She cleared her throat and looked away. Her other hand pulled on a strand of his hair. "I like your hair like this. Males and females must love to get their hands in it."

"I wouldn't know." He admitted. "It's been a while since..." He let the sentence hang there.

She looked at him in surprise, blinking a few times. "Why?" She asked softly, twirling the strand of hair around her finger.

"It's been a long time since someone didn't look at me in hatred or fear." He said, holding her gaze. Her unfaltering gaze, without hatred, without fear.

"It doesn't stop your brothers."

"No, it doesn't. But I'm not them."

The hand that twirled in his hair shifted. It shifted until her hand rested on his neck, her fingers weaved through his hair. It felt amazing.

"No, you're not." She whispered. "But who are you, Eris?"

"I wish I knew." He leaned forward and rest his head against hers. "But being with you, it makes me want to be a better person. Not just in your eyes, but everyone else's. I want to be the man you believe I can be."

"You are closer than you think, little High Lord." She smiled, the dimple in her cheek visible.

"Gods, you're beautiful."

"What?" She croaked, lifting her head.

Fuck! Did he just say that out loud!? He swallowed harshly. He let go of their intertwined hands and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You heard me."

"Eris."

Her voice was barely audible, not even a whisper but it broke the wall between them, and he leaned in. Not wanting to spook her like last time, he slowly lowered his lips towards hers. She didn't move, she didn't pull back. She just watched him with fierce intensity. The hand that had tucked her hair behind her ear, cupped her cheek, tilting her head a little higher.

"Eris." She whispered again. He was going to explode if he didn't kiss her. He closed the distance between them. And this was nothing like it was last time. This time the moment his lips touched hers, her other hand flew in his hair, and she pulled. She pulled his hair to get him closer to her. He moaned and she took advantage of it, slipping her tongue between his lips. Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods. This felt amazing, his head was already woozy just from tasting her lips. He had never felt like this before. He grabbed on to her waist, pulling her flush against him. His cock already straining in his pants, pushing against her hip.

She rolled on top of him. And as she straddled him, she pulled him up. She wrapped her legs around his waist keeping him close, so their chests brushed against one another. The movements her hands made in his hair, her hips moving over his hard cock, nearly made him undone. Her kisses were mind blowing and it felt like it was long, long overdue. While she explored his mouth, his hand went into her beautiful dark, long auburn hair. His other hand slipped under her shirt, sprawling over her bare waist. They didn't stop kissing for a moment, even when they grew breathless, they didn't stop. It seemed impossible to stop kissing her. She nipped and licked on his bottom lip, making him groan so loud, he was sure he was heard on the other end of the hallway. She arched her back, her lips leaving his as her breasts brushed against his chest. He needed to feel her, her skin, her everything, so his lips locked on the column of her throat. His sucked on her soft neck and she moaned, digging her nails into his scalp.

"Eris." She panted.

The sound of the name on her lips made him grab her hips, trying to pull her closer even though she was practically glued to him. He nipped at her earlobe, eliciting another moan. "Gods, you taste, and sound better than I dreamed about."

"You've dreamed about this?" He could hear amusement in her breathless voice.

His tongue swiped over her collarbone. "Every night since I've met you, Terrin." He tilted his head, wanting, no needed to taste her lips again. But she recoiled, jumping from his lap so fast, he thought he imagined her being on it. He pushed himself up and leaned on his hands. "Terrin?"

Her hair was mussed as she stood before him. His hair must look even worse than hers. She took in a few breaths, closing her eyes. She placed the hand between her breasts, closing off her heart. "That's why-" Her voice broke and he jumped from the bed with trembling knees. "That's why we can't do this."

"I don't understand." He said, cupping her cheek, tilting her head up.

She leaned up and kissed him softly. A large contrast as to what they were doing earlier. She pulled back before he was ready. "There are only two people in my life I can't live without them knowing my name or knowing me. And you, Eris are one of them. That's why I've kept my distance from you and Lucien. I told you from the start I couldn't do this." She stepped back, away from him. She stepped back until she was completely out of his reach. She looked down when she said. "We'll leave after breakfast tomorrow. You've been to Velaris before, so I'll just meet you at the River House around four."

When she walked past him to the door, he gently took her hand in his. "Please, don't - don't do this. Don't say goodbye like this."

She offered him a sad smile, pulling her hand out of his soft grasp. "One day, you'll be a great High Lord, Eris Vanserra." And she walked out the room.

Everything in him, screamed to go after her. But he knew that he won't be able to change her mind, knew she needed time to process everything that just happened. He did too. He just hoped that in the morning, she changed her mind about winnowing separately.