14
ACOTAR
"So, how do you know Rhys?" Cassian asked as she sipped her wine.
"He never told you?" Terrin asked surprised.
"He never mentioned he knew the Ghost." Azriel put in, his eyes curiously on hers. "Or anyone named Terrin."
She glanced at Rhys in surprise. "I thought you would have at least told them." She gestured to his best friends. She glanced back to the others when Rhys shrugged, his mouth full of food. "We met a little over three hundred years ago, after I left the Autumn Court."
"You're from the Autumn Court?" Feyre asked surprised, glancing between Lucien and Eris.
She hummed, nodding slightly. "I grew up in the Vanserra household actually." The room went silent.
"Besides the obvious -" Nesta shot a look at Eris. That look made her blood boil a little. Eris seemed unfazed but she could see his jaw twitch just a little. "- why did you leave?"
"Unforeseen circumstances arose." She said, taking another sip of her drink. ""Lucien and Eris were my best friends; we grew up together. It hurt me to leave but I had no other choice."
Eris looked down at his plate while Lucien glanced between the two of them.
"What ha-"
"She doesn't need to tell us if she doesn't want to." Rhys cut in sharply, making Nesta squint her eyes at him. Rhys knew all about what happened, he was the first one she met after, and she spilled everything to him. She shot him a grateful smile. "We have room for you here if you want. Or you can stay in the Inn down the street."
"Uhm." She glanced around the table, at all those curious glances at her. "Just for tonight." She nodded. "Then Azriel and I can leave in the morning."
Rhys nodded with a smile. He turned to Eris. "What about you, Vanserra?"
"I-" He blinked, turning his gaze away from her. "What?"
"Are you staying here or are you staying in the Inn?"
"The Inn." He said without hesitation. And she didn't know how to feel about that. Relieved? Disappointed? She sighed internally, confused by her own feelings.
"Terrin?" Amren asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Earlier you said that it's been a while since you've been with an Illirian." She smirked, glancing at Rhys.
She laughed. "Oh, no. Rhys and I, no. Never happened. I wasn't in the right state of mind when we met. But about a hundred years later, I was in one of those Illirian camps and I got acquainted with the twins."
"Megan and Derek?" Cassian asked, eyes wide. She nodded with a grin. "Gods, I thought they were celibate."
"Not that night." A smile crossed her face at the memory. "How are they?" Silence fell and the three Illirians looked down, faces filled with grief. "No." She whispered. "They died?"
"During the battle against Hybern." Cassian spoke softly.
"Oh, gods." She whispered. Tears forming in her eyes. If she would have been there, maybe she could have prevented their deaths. Maybe she could have -
"You couldn't have done anything to safe them, Terrin." Eris leaned forward, his voice soft.
"You don't know that."
"He is right, Terrin." Rhys had a surprised look on his face when he looked at Eris before he turned to me. "There was nothing you could have done to change that outcome."
"I -" She took in a long breath. "It's been a long day. Do you mind if I retire for the night? A hot bath and a book would do me some good right now."
"Of course." Feyre stood. "Do you want me to show you-"
"No, that's fine." She smiled faintly. "You enjoy your dinner. Thank you for the hospitality."
"Third door on the right then." She smiled back.
ACOTAR
She was in her room for only fifteen minutes, her bath almost done filling when the door to her room opened. She leaned against the door frame that separated the bedroom and the bathroom, wearing only a thin silk bathrobe.
"Ever heard of knocking, Vanserra? As you can see, I'm not in moving carriage."
He leaned against the closed door behind him. His eyes cast to the floor. "Why didn't you tell me?" He looked up. "About your powers, about being The Ghost."
"You do know that my job revolves around secrecy, don't you? I can't just tell anyone who I am, what I do."
"Am I just anyone?"
She sighed. "No, of course you're not." She placed a privacy charm over the room. "But I didn't know you. I'm still not sure if I do now."
"You do know me. You know me the best, Terrin. I've never let anyone in like I do with you."
She scoffed, turning to walk in the bathroom to shut of the faucet. When she came back, Eris had inched closer. "Like the fact that you proposed to Nesta?" She snapped. And he froze. "You must know by now that I know everything. There's a reason people hire me, you know. And yet you didn't mention it once to me."
"Why does it matter?"
"It matters because you lied to me. Because you purposely didn't mention the proposal when we talked about Mor back at Kallias'. If she had said yes, you wouldn't be here trying to talk to me. Trying to remember. Just because she said no, your interests shifted to me. And I am nobody second choice, Eris." Her voice was hard and cold. And he flinched at how she said his name. But in that moment she didn't care. She had been hurt enough by him. Not again.
He stepped forward and grabbed her hand in his. "If I would have met you again earlier, if I never forgot you, you never would have been second choice, Terrin." He leaned his head against hers. "Because the moment I saw you again, some piece of me that was missing came back in place. The moment I had you in my arms dancing, I knew Nesta would have never been the right fit for me. Because you belong there. Even if Nesta and I got married, the moment you would show up, I would pick you."
"Eris." She whispered, her heart thundering in her chest.
"I told you I would leave after Rhys. And if you still want that, I'll be gone by tomorrow night."
His breath ghosted over her nose, her cheeks. The fire in him warmed her whole body. She closed her eyes as she took in a deep breath. She lifted her head and kissed him. He took a tight hold on her waist and cupped her cheek as he pressed her against the wall, deepening the kiss. The fire that warmed her, shot insanely hot thrills through her body. She let her hands slip into his soft long hair, curling her fingers around the strands. She couldn't get enough of him, but it had to stop. She pulled her head back and pushed his chest. He let go and took a small step back, his breathing ragged.
"That was a goodbye, Eris."
"What?" His eyes turned large, and he reached for her again, but she stepped back. "Terrin."
"I told you, you and Lucien not knowing my name, you not knowing our past at all, it hurts too much. I can't do – whatever it is between us, I can't do it." Her voice shook.
"I wish I could say I understand but I don't. I can't imagine how it must feel for you. I really wish you would come find me after this business with Rhys is done, but I understand if you don't." He took a step closer and kiss the top of her head. "Good luck, Terrin. I hope we will meet again."
She saw his hand tremble as he walked out of her room. When he closed the door behind him, she leaned against the wall, shaking. She untied her bathrobe and climbed into the tub. Pushing her head all the way under, trying to ignore the pain in her chest.
ACOTAR
He had his last kiss with her. Her last taste. And it took everything in his mind to remember those details, every single one of them. Because he knew it would never happen again. He knew she would never come seek him out when she got back, not when she doesn't have to.
He was looking at her now. She was talking to Nesta and Cassian after she had a meeting with Rhys, Feyre and Azriel on their plans. Elain was nowhere in sight but that may be because of what Terrin said the other day. Not that he could blame her, he would have said the same thing if he was still close to Lucien. His brother, half-brother, stood not far from them, talking to the High Lady with Nyx on her hip. Terrin was practically squealing when she saw the baby. And coddled him for at least thirty minutes before she could give him up. That had brought a tiny smile to his lips, even after everything. His eyes drifted back to her.
She was standing closer to the mated couple, whispering to them. He remembered what she told them the day before. Her invitation to join her in her bedroom, it made him scowl. Suddenly, she laughed, and he focussed back on the group. The three of them were looking at him.
"Ignore the brute." She said, waving at him. Cassian raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to say anything. Knowing damn well he called him that. "He always has that look on his face." He heard the teasing in her voice. And then he – he laughed. Maybe it would be the last time she teased him, but he saw that little smirk and couldn't help but laugh. It didn't matter that everyone in the room was gaping at him. Probably since he showed emotion for the first time in centuries. But he didn't care, not when she was beaming at him, her green eyes sparkling.
Azriel cleared his throat. "Well, that was unexpected. Terrin, we should go."
She looked away from him and to the shadowsinger, her face becoming serious. "You can winnow us both to the last place you've tracked him, and we'll see from there." She stepped closer to Azriel and looped her arm through his. They didn't say anything, but her eyes fixed on Eris before they winnowed away.
ACOTAR
He has been in Rhys's office for over two hours now, and it was getting exhausting. They wanted to know what Beron had planned and they had gone over every excruciating detail twice by down. He tilted his head back and groaned at the ceiling.
"So, you and Terrin. What's the deal?"
His head snapped back and looked to Rhys. Feyre and Cassian looked interested as well. "Like she said we were best friends a long time ago."
"So, why did you arrive together now then? If you aren't friends anymore."
"Why does it matter?"
"I think -" Feyre started, a little smile on her lips. "- that she means more to you than you let on. Maybe even love h-" He shot her an icy glare. She just shrugged; her smile turned into a knowing grin. "Do you know how I know, Eris?" He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Because you laughed."
"I laugh." He said deadpanned.
"I never heard you laugh in my life, Vanserra. Snicker, yes. But never laugh." Cassian stated.
"And we all seen the way you look at her." Feyre said softly. She tilted her head. "You're different with her."
He scoffed. "Whatever. I'm out of here." He stood up and went for the door.
"Don't let her go. Trust me on that." Rhys said calmy, but his head snapped back to the High Lord.
"You don't know what you're talking about." He snapped. "If it were up to me, she would never leave my side, but there is so much more about this then you know. So, keep your nose out of my business, Rhysand." And he stormed out. His blood boiling and the frustrations rising up inside of him.
When he reached the living room, he almost stumbled to the ground when Azriel and Terrin winnowed back. The only reason he wasn't flat out on the ground was Terrin's hand around his wrist.
"Sorry." She muttered, just as the others came down. He pulled his hand away and stepped back.
"What are you doing back already?" Rhys asked.
The Shadowsinger and The Ghost both leaned against the wall, sighing. The former gestured for her to explain. "We found the last place we had a trace of him. Then everything about him just... disappeared."
"Like he covered his tracks?" Feyre asked.
"No." She flipped her dagger between her fingers. "He's gone to..." She glanced at Azriel, and he nodded. "He's gone to another world."
"Another world? How do you know?" Rhys asked, his full attention on her.
She took in a breath. "Because winnowing and invisibility aren't my only powers. I can – I can transport between worlds."
"You can do what?!" Amren's voice boomed through the silent room.
It mesmerized him that Terrin slowly turned to her, even though her voice was hard. "I have met your father, Amren. Not really the nurturing type."
Amren snorted. "How?"
"I was two hundred years old when my new power developed. We know transporting through worlds isn't really known here, so I had to figure it out on my own. The first time I was stuck somewhere else for fifty years, when I came back only a year had passed. Every world has its own time warp, I guess. It took me a while to figure them out."
"Shit." Lucien breathed. And it shocked him that his brother hadn't known about it.
"But that means, I can travel to another world to search for him, if you want."
"We'll need to think about that." Rhys murmured, his face still surprised.
"You know how to contact me." She nodded. "I'll go grab my things and -"
"Oh, no." Azriel stopped her as he placed an arm around her shoulder. Eris gritted his teeth at the sight.
Cassian grinned. "Before you go, we are going out tonight."