15
ACOTAR
He knew he wasn't invited, so he didn't stick around after that. He went to the Inn and started packing. Not that there was much to pack, after ten minutes he was done. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking out the window to Velaris. He thought about her, closing his eyes as he thought about her voice, her eyes, the way she danced with him.
"If your here to laugh at me, you can go." She said as she sat on the top of the roof. Of his house. Her back was to him so he could only see her auburn hair move with the wind. He stepped closer and sat down next to her, looking over the forest around them.
"I would never laugh at you." She tilted her head to him and cocked an eyebrow. "Alright." He laughed. "I would. But not about this. I know how nerve racking it can be to open a ball."
"You were a natural at dancing, Eris. You didn't have anything to worry about."
He snorted. "Just that I had to dance Ellopé." He shuddered excessively. "I rather would dance with literally anyone else but her. I had nightmares for weeks!"
"Even your brothers?" She smirked.
He thought about it, looking at the forest. "Yes. Even my brothers."
"You are such a weirdo." She laughed.
"I grew up with you. No wonder I turned out like that."
She pushed him and he fell with his back against the roof. "I hate you, Vanserra."
"No, you don't." He smirked, placing his arm behind his head. "You love me." She rolled her eyes and laid down next to him as they looked at the stars. "I'll teach you." He said quietly into the night.
"What?" She tilted her head towards him.
"I'll teach you how to dance."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want my best friend to humiliate me or the Vanserra legacy."
"Oh, thank you so much for your concern." She snorted. He turned to his side and tilted her chin.
"I will teach you because you are my best friend. I will teach you because I don't want you to feel insecure opening the ball. I'll teach you because -" He smiled slightly. "- because I love you, you goofball." He tussled her hair.
She wrapped her arms around him as she lay her head on his chest. "Thank you."
"Anything for you." He whispered. And they stayed like that for the rest of the night. Her half on top of him as they gazed at the stars.
He shot up from the bed sweating. He looked around the room, trying to puzzle together where he was. Right, the Inn. He must have fallen asleep at one point. And the dream – the memory. He knew it wasn't something of his imagination, he felt it deep inside of him that it was real. She looked so different in the dream, yet she looked exactly the same. He wiped the sweat from his forehead as he glanced out the window. It was dark now and music flowed through his window. He was supposed to be back in the Autumn Court by now. He stood up and looked out the window. A few houses from the Inn, was a café. With people going in and out, laughing and singing. People outside were dancing on the music that boomed from inside.
His heart stammered when he saw Terrin between those people. She was dancing and laughing, her head falling backwards when Azriel dipped her low. Jealousy raged through him as the other male held her close. He gripped the windowsill until his knuckles turned white. He knew he must look like a creep, watching her from a window a few levels above her but he didn't care. If this was the last time, he would see her. The last time he would see her dance and look free, he wouldn't tear his eyes away until she was gone. He saw her dance with everyone. Going from Azriel to Feyre, from Mor to Cassian. Even with a few males outside the group, but she always returned to the shadowsinger. To that fucking shadowsinger. He didn't know how much time had passed since he had made his way to the window, but the moon had shifted quite a bit.
"Enjoying the view?"
ACOTAR
He stumbled back and now he did fall on his ass. He looked up at Terrin, she was smirking down at him. He had just seen her go inside the café. "W-what?"
"I know you've been watching me."
"Watching you?" He scrambled up, dusting himself off. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"U-hu." She grinned. "Sure."
"What are you doing here?" He asked as she walked to his bed and sat down.
"I thought you left after this morning." She said, taking off her boots. Untying her laces very, very slowly. He followed every movement. "So, it came as quite a surprise when my blood started to warm from someone's gaze."
He pushed back the heat in his cheeks. "That's - that's not possible."
"You can do much more than conjure flames, Eris."
He didn't know what to say to that. To any of it. Was it possible that his heated gaze literally warmed her blood, and could that have gone extremely wrong? It was like she could read his mind because she said,
"You can't hurt me. It takes a lot of practice to hurt someone like that. It would take anger and concentration." She toed off her boots. "So, I know that you've been watching me for the past three hours."
Fuck! Had it really been three hours? He couldn't look at her, he stared at the wall behind her. She chuckled. Damn, that chuckle. He looked back at her and saw that she had taken off her pants and pushed herself up further on the bed. He swallowed unsure what to say or do.
"Come here." She patted the spot next to her, locking her beautiful green eyes with his. He hated how his hands shook as he walked over. He kicked off his shoes and laid down next to her. But she didn't let it be just that. She pulled on his arm until he was spooning her. Her back pressed firmly against his chest, their legs intertwined.
"What are we doing?" He whispered against her hair.
"I just want one last night with you." She said even quieter.
He closed his eyes as he buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her divine scent. His arm curled further around her waist and pulled her even closer, if possible. They lay in silence for a while, neither of them slept though. The music and the noise from outside filtered through the window.
When she placed her hand over the one on her waist, he said, "I fell asleep earlier that's why I'm still here. And I – I dreamed about you. I think it was a memory."
She stiffened in his arms before relaxing again, her thumb rubbing circles on the back of his hand.
"It was the night I offered to teach you how to dance." Her hair tickled his nose. "We were on the roof, and you called me a weirdo." She chuckled. "I teased you that I wanted to teach you how to dance so you wouldn't humiliate me or the Vanserra name. But then -" He breathed, and he swore she stopped breathing for a moment. "I told you I would teach you because you're my best friend, because I loved you."
Her fingers trembled as she intertwined our fingers together. She hasn't said a word.
"Did that really happen? Or did I just make something up in my mind."
"It was real." She said quietly, bringing their clasped hands closer to her heart. He closed his eyes and he wanted to pull her closer, even though it wasn't possible. He wanted her to stay there forever. But right now, knowing the memory was real, feeling her in his arms. He drifted off to sleep with her warm, soft body curled against him. Their hands intertwined against her chest. Her scent lulling him into a long blissful sleep.
When he woke up the next morning, she was gone. But he felt a phantom of a kiss against his lips. The side of the bed next to him still warm. He closed his eyes and brought her pillow to him and inhaled.
ACOTAR
Six months. It had been six months since he left Velaris. Since she had disappeared. His father didn't say anything when he came back but his mother had enveloped him in a tight hug and said she was so sorry. He held on to her, not only for comfort but because he had missed his mother's hugs. Her fragile arms around him had more strength in them then he thought they would. And ever since then, he and his mother grew closer again. They took walks together, went to the street market and they talked. Talked about everything and nothing. He told her he knew about Helion, about Lucien. And she had cried in his arms that night, telling him she still loved him. He wasn't surprised by that, he already had a suspicion that she still loved him. But he never thought it was this much. And he knew right then and there, he would do anything to see his mother happy again.
A month after, Lucien had sent him a letter. It stated that Terrin and Azriel left for another world that morning in search for Bryaxis and would keep him updated. It was a short and simple letter, but it did something to him. That his brother took the time to write to him at all was a surprise but maybe Terrin had talked to him before she left. She probably explained the whole situation to him. And because of that simple letter, he arranged a meeting with Lucien and their mother. It had to be done in secret and couldn't be too long because if his father or his brothers found out, no they wouldn't risk that. But even though it was a short visit, mother brightened up visibly from seeing her youngest son. She glowed for days.
That was until Beron was tired of her happiness and beat it out of her. When he saw his mother limp the next day, saw the bruises, he charged up to his father's study and started pounding on him. That caused for him to have more scars on his body and locked up like a child for four days without food. But he didn't care, he wasn't going to let him get away with it any longer.
Every month, Lucien wrote a short letter. Every time it said the same thing.
They are still not back.
But she is strong, she will get back to you, brother.
Have faith.
The first time, surprise filled him yet again when he wrote brother, now he smiled at the word before he wrote his reply. Lucien didn't just say she will be back but said – she will get back to you. And by the Cauldron, he hoped that was true.
ACOTAR
After his father beat his mother, he made sure she was busy or gone most of the day. Or tried to give his father extra work so he wouldn't focus on her. It seemed to help. His mother had more colour in her cheeks, she started eating better too, her frail arms no so frail looking anymore. And that sparkle, even after the beating, that sparkle after she met with Lucien never vanished.
Something else had changed in those six months. A few nights a week, he dreamed about her. He dreamed about her every night but two or three times a week, they were memories. It started with flashes, then picture without sound. But after three weeks, full memories came to play inside his head.
Their first dancing lesson. The way she cheated in hide and seek in the woods with him and Lucien. When she jumped in his arms after she managed to winnow (before him and Lucien, of course), when they hid in the treehouse from Ellopé. So, many memories but one thing was still missing.
Her name.
In all of those memories, the moment he says her name it was like someone had put a cloth over his mouth, muffling the sound. It was like her name was on the tip of his tongue, but he still couldn't reach it. It was maddening.
He put all of Lucien's letters in a safe compartment so nobody could find them when suddenly a knock echoed through the room. But the knock didn't come from the door, but behind him, from the window. He turned around in his chair and his heart skipped a beat from shock as Rhysand was flapping outside his window. He opened the window quickly before he could open his mouth, the Illirian said.
"They are back. She's hurt, badly."