Don't You Remember – Chapter 5
Tony was a very smart child, when he had started kindergarten he asked Maura, "Mommy, how come I don't look like you? I have dark hair and dark eyes and you have light hair and light eyes. How come I don't have a daddy?" Maura had wondered how long it would take for Tony to ask her these types of questions. She had told Tony's birth mother that she would not hide the fact that he was adopted from him and she would wait until he was a certain age or brought the subject up himself. His birth mother liked that idea.
The birth mother didn't want to be a secret from Tony and she hoped when Tony was 18 that he would seek her out. She promised the adopted mother that she would not seek him out. She hated making that promise but she understood that he may not want to meet her or have a relationship with her. She loved Tony and didn't want him to think that he was given up because he wasn't loved. Maura promised his birth mother that he would know that he was loved. Maura didn't know what she would tell Tony if he ever asked but she figured when the time came she would figure something out.
The birth mother signed all of her emails as 'A' and asked Maura to be 'Z.' Maura asked her in the next email, 'why did you ask me to sign off as 'Z' and you sign off as 'A?"
Jane thought about it and then within a few minutes of reading the email responded,
Dear Z,
We agreed not to give each other our real names and I didn't like not putting a name so I put the letter 'A' for me and letter 'Z' for you. To me 'A' is the beginning of something, like a list of things to do, or the first step in something. You know like you go from point 'A' to point 'B.' Merriam-Webster defines A to Z as 'the full range of fundamental knowledge relating to some subject or activity.'
In our case 'A' is the first mom that Tony has had, even though he doesn't know me, and 'Z' is the last mom so I chose that for you as you are his last mother. The mother that will raise him and let him know that he is loved and cared for.
If I was in a position to take care of him and provide for him, trust me I never would have given him up. I am trusting you to take care of him and provide for him as I couldn't. When he is old enough to know that he is adopted please be sure to let him know that I love him and didn't want to give him up.
Always,
A
After Maura read that email, she always signed off as 'Z' without issue. She understood what 'A' was signifying with the letters and agreed that without the use of their first names it was appropriate. She always included a short note to 'A' whenever she sent a picture of Tony. She knew that 'A' loved Tony and only wanted what was best for him.
Even though Maura didn't believe in God and therefore didn't go to Church she knew that Tony's birth mother, 'A' was Catholic and would have had him baptized. After Maura took custody of Tony, she asked her lawyer about having him baptized and what the procedure would be. She did not want to instill her beliefs on him. She had her lawyer ask the birth mother and she agreed that she would love for him to be baptized. The lawyer visited with a Catholic Priest and scheduled a private ceremony for Tony to be baptized. Two weeks later, he was baptized in a Catholic Church.
Maura searched through her personal papers one day in her home office and she ran across her will. That is actually what she had been looking for. She needed to make changes, it needed to be revised now that she had adopted Tony.
She stipulated that if anything ever happened to her, Tony's birth mother, 'A,' was to be given sole custody of Tony, provided she was in a position to care for him. Maura was pretty sure that 'A' would be in a position as she was turning in all required grade reports to her lawyer. Maura wanted to see the reports. In order to keep their names private, the lawyer blocked off 'A's' name and made a copy for Maura.
Maura could see that 'A' was getting high marks in all of her classes. Maura was proud of her. She didn't know her but felt like they could be friends if they ever met. The likelihood of them ever meeting was slim but Maura still wanted to make sure she was doing okay.
She would also be given enough money to care for Tony and provide a place for him to live if she didn't want Maura's house, which was Tony's home. Tony would be provided for based on the parameters established in her will.
Her lawyer wasn't a fan of this stipulation but he understood and he remembered how much love Jane had for Tony. She just didn't have the means to provide for him. He made the changes to the will and Maura had signed it the next day. Maura's parents weren't involved in her life and she didn't have any brothers or sisters, so she had to make sure that Tony would be taken care of in the event that something happened to her.
Every night when they said their prayers, Maura and Tony prayed for all mothers. Maura didn't know Tony's birth mother's name so she just used the phrase 'all mothers' until such time she could change the prayer to say 'pray for our birth mothers.'
Maura thought about how she was going to answer Tony's question, 'Why don't I look like you? Maura took a good look at him and figured he was old enough to understand his situation so she explained about his adoption. "Tony, I adopted you. You were only a few days old when I adopted you. It was a closed adoption."
"So do I look like my mother or father?" Tony was curious because he had curly black hair and brown eyes and Maura had blonde hair and hazel eyes, or as he had stated, he had dark hair and eyes and she had light hair and eyes. She thought Tony was so adorable. It made her wonder what his birth parents were like. She wished she would have had the opportunity to meet them, but the adoption was a closed adoption and the only contact she had was via email with Tony's birth mother.
"I do not know Tony. I have never met your birth mother or father. As I said it was a closed adoption and that means that all the paperwork was completed by a lawyer and I never met your birth parents."
From that night on when they said their prayers, they said and 'our birth mothers.' Maura explained that she was also adopted and they talked for a few minutes about that. After that Tony didn't bring it up again.
She then had to answer his second question, 'How come I don't have a daddy?' This was easier to answer now that he knew that he was adopted. "Honey, I do not know who your birth father is and because I am not married you do not have an adopted father." Maura explained and he was happy with that answer.
He simply said, "Okay, thank you for telling me," and went back to what he was doing. Maura was pleased that he didn't push the issue. She had dated several men and women since she adopted Tony but she never found anyone that she wanted to introduce to Tony. Her son and her job were her priorities in her life.
Arianna and Angelo were surprised when Jane told them all that the adopted mother had done for her. "Ari, she covered all my medical bills plus the Jeep as you already know and she is covering the insurance for it as well. She is also continuing the monthly stipend until I graduate from college. All I have to do is provide my grades to the lawyer."
"She is so generous." Arianna stated. Arianna was pleased that her cousin was being afforded the opportunity to achieve her goals. She wished only the best for her favorite cousin.
"Yes, and I want to make the most of this opportunity. I kinda feel like I sold my son though."
"You didn't though. You provided his adopted mother with a child that she wanted. You were in no position to care for the baby on your own. Angelo and I would have helped but it would have been difficult as you know with us going to school full-time and having to work to pay for our tuition."
"And I didn't want you to change your plans just because I got pregnant. Tony will have a good life. His adopted mother is in a great position and will be able to provide so much more than I could."
"Looking at the positive in this situation is the way to go with this. I am just shocked at the way Casey treated you."
"Please, let's not discuss him." Jane pleaded, she didn't want to think about him at the moment, maybe never.
"I'm fine with that, never again will I mention his name." Arianna said and she meant it. Casey hurt her cousin and she wanted nothing to do with him and she didn't want him around Jane.
"Well down the road we can mention him just not now and maybe not for the next few months." Jane told Arianna. Arianna didn't want to mention him every again and she hoped that Jane would not have any contact with him.
After Jane's visit with her cousin, she went to meet with her advisor to map out the remainder of her college classes. She wanted to have her path laid out so she could plan for her future. Each semester that passed she was closer to achieving her goal. She wanted to graduate from college with her degree in Criminal Justice and then become a police officer, hoping one day to become a homicide detective. She didn't know why she was so drawn to homicide but that is what she wanted to do.
At her first opportunity she took the civil service examination to become a police officer. She passed that test with a near perfect score. She still had to wait for two years to join the academy. As soon as she could apply for the academy, she paid her $3,000 and submitted her application. She was accepted and graduated at the top of the class.
Her parents were not excited about her going to the academy and upon completion she had her cousin Arianna pin her badge on her uniform at the graduation ceremony. Her mother, Angela, was upset at not be selected to pin her daughter's badge on her but she understood.
Their relationship still had not totally recovered from when they kicked Jane out of the house when they found out she was pregnant right before her high school graduation. Angela wasn't sure if their relationship would ever be the same again. She knew that it was her fault for not supporting her daughter and she was determined to keep trying to restore their relationship. She knew that Jane was stubborn but she also knew that they had a chance because Jane was at least not shutting her completely out of her life.
Jane never shared with her mother that she received photographs of the baby that she had given up for adoption years ago. She actually never shared with her mother that the baby was a little cute boy. She didn't feel a need to share with her mother or any of her family. Arianna and Angelo were the only family members that knew that Jane actually had the baby.