CHAPTER 27

DAY 47

Friday

AN: Should Stephanie forgive Ranger? Was keeping Morelli's infidelity from her a betrayal? Leave a review and let me know what you think.

STEPH POV

For privacy, I went into my bedroom to call Hector. I hadn't slept in there since the terrible thunderstorm when I'd crawled into bed with Finn. That had been a week and a half ago. Sitting on the bed, I dialed Hector's number.

"Angelita." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Hey. How are you? How are things at Rangeman? How's my family and…."

"One question at a time," he chuckled. "Everyone is fine. They all miss you and want me to tell you to come home soon. Now tell me what you have been doing?"

"I've been kayaking and paddle boarding in my free time, and in a couple more weeks, when the water is warmer, I'll learn to waterski."

"Sounds like you are enjoying yourself. How is your training going?"

"It's going better than I thought it would. Can you believe I'm even learning how to shoot a sniper rifle? Finn says I have excellent aim."

"You have excellent aim. I have seen it for myself."

"And you'll never guess what else I've been learning."

"Knitting?" he deadpanned.

"Nooo," I snickered. "I've been learning to cook."

"Really! I cannot wait to taste one of your masterpieces."

"I wouldn't go that far," I laughed, "but it's edible and healthy. Even Ranger would probably eat it." I paused, realizing what I'd said. I hadn't meant to bring him up, but now that I had, I wanted to know if he was back and okay. The only problem was I didn't want to ask.

Hector finally broke the long silence when he hesitantly said, "There is something I should tell you."

The seriousness of his voice made my breath catch. "What is it?"

"Ranger is back."

Another long pause as I considered how the mere mention of his name could knock me off my axis. "How is he? Is he hurt?"

"He is fine."

Relief flooded me. I was glad he didn't get hurt while away, but I didn't want to think about him right now. I was in a good place, and I wanted to stay there. "Good, now catch me up on the Telenovela. What kind of trouble is Ximena causing since she got back to town?"

He laughed. "She and Victoria concocted a plan to break up Maria and Max. She is claiming she is pregnant, so he will marry her."

"Let me guess, she's lying."

"Si. Can you guess who else is with child?"

"Maria!?"

"I am spoiling everything. We will watch the recordings when you are home."

"You can't leave me hanging."

"Fine. Maria thinks Max is happy with Ximena, so she refuses to tell him about the baby."

"That's not good. Tell me more."

"Juan Pablo found out that Maria is his daughter, but he can't say anything because the information was told during a confessional. Then Maria's home is torched to the ground. And in the last episode, we found out Max's biological mother is alive, but she is in jail."

"Wow! And I thought my life was complicated. Spanish Soap Operas are exhausting."

"We are a passionate people."

"That's an understatement, but speaking of passion, have you met anyone interesting lately?"

"You know I am not looking," he calmly reminded me.

"I didn't ask if you were looking. I asked if you'd met anyone interesting lately. No one finds love when they are looking for it. It always happens when we least expect it."

"When did you become so wise?"

"I've been reading a lot of really helpful books lately."

"Do not get so smart and capable that you do not need me anymore."

"Never. You're one of my best friends."

There was a long pause, and I had a feeling I'd left Hector speechless. A full minute passed before he cleared his throat and said, "As are you."

I heard sudden voices in the background coming closer. "Is that Lester?"

"No," he quickly confirmed but didn't elaborate on who had approached. I listened for a second, trying to make out the voices. Was that Ranger? I didn't want to be drawn into a conversation with him… not yet.

"I'll see you in five weeks." We hung up, and I laid back on the bed. Despite this being my usual thinking position, it wasn't working for me. I found my hiking boots by the back door and took off to the one place that had become my refuge. I traveled along the lake's bank as the shore became rockier and the elevation higher until I came to my thinking rock. I sat down with my legs dangling over and looked out at the beautiful expanse of nature.

For weeks I'd been able to push Ranger to the back of my mind so I could concentrate on training and conquer my fears. If I stayed in Trenton, I might have let Ranger wear me down and moved into his seventh-floor apartment. The old Stephanie would've been pleased to have Ella cook and clean for her while she hid away from the world. Thanks to Finn, I've learned to cook for myself and found the motivation to change my patterns of behavior.

Now that I was thinking of Ranger, I was forced to remember his part in why I left town. I thought it was understood that we had each other's backs, but he'd hurt me in a way I never would have imagined. Betrayal. Now I'm questioning all his motivations. As far as I knew, he'd never lied to me, but in choosing to keep Morelli's infidelity a secret, he was helping him cheat on me. Essentially, he was Morelli's wingman. I gagged.

I heard twigs breaking to my right and saw Finn approaching. "There you are."

I smiled, happy at the interruption of negative thoughts. "Sorry, I was just thinking and lost track of time."

"Thinking, huh? I try to avoid that myself." He looked at the space on the rock beside me, silently asking if he could join me. I nodded, and he sat down.

I looked back out at the lake. "Honestly, I do too, but something about this place makes me introspective."

"What were you thinking about, if you don't mind me asking?"

I thought of a tactful way to phrase my inner turmoil and then decided what the hell. "Men. Betrayal. Forgiveness."

His brows rose so high on his forehead it was comical. "Did I do something?"

"You?" I laughed. "Never."

He let out a breath of exaggerated relief. "If it wasn't something I did, then who and what?"

"I'm trying to figure out if it's possible to continue a friendship with someone who's let me down in a big way." I let that sit between us while I contemplated an even greater dilemma. "If someone knows something that you need to know and doesn't tell you or if they don't answer your questions directly, is that the same as lying?"

"You're talking about lies of omission," he stated.

"Yes."

"Gray areas are hard. I believe lies of omission can be just as dangerous and damaging as someone straight-up lying to your face. Still, people aren't perfect, and we have to allow ourselves the ability to forgive." He sighed and gave it more thought. "I guess it comes down to the level of betrayal. Was the person withholding information that could hurt you physically first and then emotionally second? Neither scenario is ideal, but I assume you are trying to forgive this person. So, my next question would be, was this a one-time error in judgment or an ongoing theme of the friendship?"

"If you'd asked me a few months ago, I would have said there was no way this person would withhold information that could hurt me, so that makes answering your question hard. How do I know if it was a one-time thing? In general, the person isn't very forthcoming with information, but by not telling me, it put me in a position to be hurt in both of the ways you mentioned."

"And you're having a hard time getting past it."

"Wouldn't you?" I'd put Ranger on a pedestal, and it seemed impossible to forgive him.

"Sure, but forgiveness isn't for the other person. It's for you."

"Did you read that in a book?"

"Doesn't make it any less true."

The possibility of unsafe sex bothered me most about Ranger's decision not to enlighten me on Morelli's extracurricular activities. Who knows how many women besides Terry he screwed behind my back. What if I'd contracted a disease from him because I thought he wasn't with anyone else? What if I'd ended up pregnant and was tied to that cheating ass for the rest of my life? Thankfully, neither had happened, but they could have. And that's where my anger at Ranger came into play. He told me he made sure I didn't get broken, not my heart, but Morelli's infidelity could have affected a lot more than my heart.

I didn't want Finn to know the ugly details, so I just asked, "If the person sat by and let something potentially bad happen to me, how can they really be my friend?"

"Without knowing the specifics, I can't answer that. All I can say is to look at things from their perspective."

"I'm trying, but forgiveness isn't something I'm good at."

"I read somewhere that when you forgive, you don't change the past. You change the future. When someone does something wrong, don't forget everything they did right."

I couldn't contain my smile. Finn was being so earnest with his Hallmark sentiments. "Did you find that quote on Pinterest?"

His eyes brightened, and we both laughed. "Are you shaming me?"

"Only a little," I lightly punched him on the shoulder, "got any more words of wisdom for me?"

"Yeah, forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace."

I leaned my head against his shoulder and thought about that. I wasn't ready to forgive Ranger, but maybe someday I would be.