CHAPTER 29

DAY 61

Friday

AN: What do you guys think about our special visitor? Leave a review and let me know your thoughts.

The next two weeks passed with the same routine. I trained hard and challenged myself in other areas of my life. After my first trip to the grocery store, I was worried I'd fall back into my old pattern of avoidance, but when the next Sunday rolled around, I was in the truck with Finn and pushing through my fear again. That trip to the store produced less anxiety, which was another step in the right direction.

I read two more books in my free time, The Art of Manipulation and An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. Both were informative and taught me a lot.

The training was getting more challenging with each session. I increased my speed and perfected my techniques. Finn never withheld a compliment, nor did he shy away from giving critique when necessary. During that time, I learned CPR/first aid, defensive driving, and how to get myself out of zip ties.

At my last weigh-in on Monday, I registered 127 pounds and could run two miles in under 16 minutes. I could also complete 43 push-ups and 74 sit-ups in two minutes. As part of my endurance training, I ran 6 miles three days a week, and on the other three days, I ruck marched 9 miles with 28 pounds on my back. It was grueling work, but I pushed through the pain.

Nine weeks of boot camp were behind me, and I felt much stronger inside and out. It was an empowering feeling to know that I could take care of myself in most situations, and when I couldn't, I knew when to ask for help. That had been a sticking point for me in the past. I don't know why, but I'd gotten it into my head that asking for help meant I was weak when the exact opposite was true. Finn helped me accept that. Being with him felt natural. I slept in his bed every night, exploring his body and learning to feel more comfortable sharing mine. We weren't trying to impress each other. We were just being real.

Some days I was energized, and on others, I was dragging. Friday was one of those days. After a soothing shower, Finn insisted I relax on the deck while he prepared dinner. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I came awake with a start, kicking and pushing whoever was grabbing me.

"It's just me."

Through my sleepy haze, it took me a second to realize where I was. Finn was touching me, not some shadowy villain my brain had conjured. I stopped fighting.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I'd never hurt you."

There was no missing the pain in his voice. I closed my eyes, wishing I wasn't such a freak. I'd overacted and made myself look crazy… again. Would this ever end?

Despite the work I'm putting in to get my life back, Durant still haunts me when I least expect it. It was his legacy to me, whether I wanted it or not.

I brought Finn's hand to my lips and kissed his palm, hoping he could feel how sorry I was. "I don't think I've ever felt safer than here with you."

He pulled me to my feet and kissed me, lingering a little, and for a moment, I thought he might direct us to his bedroom. "Dinner's ready. Let's eat."

I shook off the bad feelings left over from a nightmare I couldn't remember, and we ate dinner.

FINN POV

Sometimes the sex was hard and fast. Other times, it was adventurous as we tried different positions. There were times like now when it was just a lazy sharing of our bodies, producing wave after wave of pleasure. Steph was propped up on her elbows, lying half on top of me on my bed. She had this glint in her eye that made my heart speed up. I wanted to ask what she saw when she looked at me, but I was afraid I already knew the answer.

"You look grumpy and dangerous." She rubbed my perpetually stubbled chin. "It makes me want to do whatever I can to put a smile on this face."

I smiled to cover my uncertainty. I was nothing to look at. Certainly not good-looking enough to catch her eye if she had other options. To keep her from going any further down this path, I tried to lightly push her onto her back to get the focus off me and onto her. But she was stronger now and held her ground.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" she asked.

"No." I didn't like lying, but since this was a little white one designed to protect myself, I hoped she'd allow me to get away with it.

"You have beautiful eyes, so blue they remind me of the ocean. I love the ocean."

"Nothing about my face is beautiful." I focused on the ceiling, feeling exposed.

"I disagree, and since I'm the one who gets to look at you all day, I should know."

"Didn't you used to be afraid of me?"

"You?" She snorted. "Why would I be afraid of a gorgeous giant?"

"Now, you're pushing it." I sighed as if annoyed, but truthfully, I liked how she saw me. "My nose is too big, and I have a scowl that I don't even know I'm doing half the time."

"Your scowl is a challenge for me to get you to smile, and your nose is perfectly sized for your face." She smoothed my crinkled forehead and down my nose, kissing the tip. "It's me that has a big butt, and I get this muffin top that hangs over my jeans after a few too many donuts."

I didn't like her talking badly about herself. She needed to see herself the way I did. "This is perfect." I palmed her butt, pressing her center against my cock that hadn't fully gone down since I'd met her.

She wiggled.

I groaned.

She kissed my jaw and whispered, "Can you teach me how to hot wire a car?"

I sputtered while she gave me a lopsided smile. "You are a beautiful but odd woman. I'm doing my best to get you interested in another round, and you're thinking about stealing cars."

"Well? Can you?"

"Yes." And then I did this thing with my tongue on her nipple that I knew drove her eyes to the back of her head and had her thighs falling open. I quickly covered myself with a condom and slid home.

STEPH POV

My growling stomach woke me from a dreamless sleep. Without waking Finn, I untangled myself from him and scooted my pleasantly sore body out of bed. I've never been comfortable walking around the house naked, so I pulled my underwear on and slipped my nightshirt over my head. Pulling the bedroom door closed behind me so Maggie would stay inside, I padded to the kitchen. Since the full moon illuminated the room enough to see what I was doing, I didn't bother turning on a light. After nuking a bowl of leftover chicken stir fry, I poured myself a glass of milk. Halfway through my 1:00 a.m. snack, I heard a metallic scraping sound. It was barely perceptible and came from the front of the house. The doorknob. Someone was picking the lock, trying to get inside.

There hadn't been a single person on this property except for the hunter who'd tried to kill Judy. What if it was him? Maybe he didn't like being bested by a woman and came back to show me the error of my ways. Without making a sound, I slid off the stool and reached on the fridge for the gun Finn kept there. Now that I was protected, I listened for more information about where the intruder was. Had they gotten inside? Should I call out to Finn and warn him? If I did, the element of surprise would be gone. I knew I should've let Maggie come into the kitchen with me. Dammit.

With the gun pointed at the chest level of the average-sized person, I waited for the intruder to come around the corner and into the moonlight. As soon as I saw the tip of a shoe, I called out, "Don't move, or I'll put a bullet between your eyes!"

The man was about six feet away when he stopped and faced me with his hands up. My brain did a quick catalog to assess the threat. He was medium build, in his early fifties, wearing a dark brown suede sport coat and a black corduroy newsboy hat. Black eyes, framed by bushy eyebrows, one higher than the other, stared me down. I strengthened my stance, glaring right back. His thin lips slid into a ballsy smile. Who in the hell smiled with a loaded Glock pointed straight at their heart?

"Well, this is certainly a surprise." His smile got even wider, and he was on the verge of full-on laughing. It was pissing me off. I was tempted to shoot him in the foot and see if he'd laugh then. We were at a standoff, but I didn't think he was here to hurt me.

"Dammit, Oz," Finn came storming into the room and straight to me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

He flipped the light on, took the gun from me, and placed it back on the fridge. "No need to kill him. This is the guy I told you about." He turned to our intruder, glowering. "I know manners are foreign to you, but I told you I had a guest. You should've knocked."

I relaxed my stance, realizing this was Finn's friend Oz, who was supposed to be bringing my alternate identity papers.

"She did fine," Oz said, not sounding offended by Finn's accusation that he had no manners. "The training is definitely working."

"So, you're the spy." I tried to sound cool, but my heart was still racing. Oz didn't look like I'd imagined.

His salt and pepper whiskered face split with a flirtatious smile. "Don't I look like a spy?"

"You look like you're homeless." Oh, crap. I slapped my hand over my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Oz laughed. "You must love having her around."

"I do." Finn pulled out the Tupperware containers of leftovers and looked at Oz. "Want some?"

Oz eyed the red, yellow, and green peppers in the chicken cabbage stir fry with distaste, which I could relate to because I'd had a similar reaction when I'd first gotten here. He leaned close to my ear, whispering loud enough for Finn to hear. "Was he out of zucchini?"

I laughed. "We're never out of zucchini." I affected my best southern Bubba Gump voice as I held up my fingers, counting. "We've got your zucchini chips, zucchini fritters, zucchini fries, zucchini brownies, and of course, my favorite… the zoodles. But it's not so bad after you get used to it."

Those bushy eyebrows lowered as if calling me a liar. "You've been brainwashed."

Chuckling, I sat back down at the island to finish my stir fry.

"You want some or not?" Finn pretended to be put out by Oz's distaste for his healthy garden vegetables. I could tell it was an ongoing joke between them, and he didn't mind being ribbed.

"I could eat." Oz and Finn took seats across from me. After taking a bite, Oz admitted, "It's not that bad."

"Glad you like it because tomorrow I'm trying a new recipe, Garlicky Parmesan Zucchini Bake, and you two will be my test subjects."

I couldn't help laughing. "I knew you were on Pinterest earlier." I leaned across the island toward Oz, mock whispering, "It's his guilty pleasure. It's like porn to our gardening guru."

Oz's sudden bark of laughter was loud in the quiet morning hours. "He does have a weird obsession with eating healthy. Could be an underlining issue we need to explore. I'm not a doctor, but there's probably a pill to help with that."

While Oz and I laughed at Finn's expense, I decided I liked him. Sure, he was a little odd and a little scary, but even a blind person could see that he cared for Finn. He was probably the only person who ever came around, and I was glad to know that at least he'd check on Finn after I left. That thought brought a frown to my face. I didn't like being reminded that my time here was almost up. I was in no hurry to get home. I'd actually been thinking of asking Finn if I could stay longer.

While I'd been taking Oz's measure, they were laughing and catching up with each other's lives. I knew Finn was forty-three years old, and Oz looked ten years older than him, so I was right to think mid-fifties. I waited for a lull in the conversation before asking, "So, how do you two know each other?"

"We met after I started at the Bureau," Finn said.

"You were just a kid, all shiny and ready to save the world," Oz teased good-naturedly. "How long has it been?"

"Nineteen years, I guess." Imagining Finn in his early twenties made me smile. "After 9/11, I was part of a terrorist task force that included every government agency in some form or other. The information Oz gathered from his time embedded with the Taliban was crucial to mapping out the terror network responsible."

I'm sure my eyes appeared comically round. "You were in the Taliban?"

"I wasn't exactly in the Taliban. It was more of a loose association."

"I don't know much about the conditions in the middle east, but that sounds dangerous to me."

"He loves the thrill," Finn said.

"True. I get bored easily."

"Instead of retiring like a normal person to live out his twilight years in peace, he manages to stay in the thick of things."

"Twilight years?" Oz punched Finn's shoulder, nearly making him fall off the stool.

Finn rubbed his shoulder as if he'd been severely damaged. "Time to face the facts. You are getting up there in years."

He clapped Finn on the back just a little too hard. "Although I'm not as young as our boy here. I can still get the job done."

"Can I ask what it was like working for the CIA, or would you have to kill me if you told me? Cause I'm not ready to go toes up just yet."

"She's funny," Oz told Finn and then took another bite before continuing. "I was just as young and idealistic as Finn when I got in the business, but after eight years in the middle east, that bright-eyed optimism dimmed."

"How do you mean?"

"We lost a lot of operatives in the fight to keep the Taliban from growing and taking control of the region. Our strategy was to cut off their financing, which meant destroying the opium trade, among other things. Intelligence organizations believed around two billion dollars flowed through the Taliban from opium yearly. But there were a lot of moving parts, and things didn't quite work out the way we planned."

"But you tried. That's what matters."

He stopped with his fork almost to his mouth, studying me. "For a long time, I tried convincing myself that was true, but every time we managed a small win, the insurgents would punch back, knocking us down a few rungs on the ladder. You know the game of Whack a Mole? It was exactly like that. We were fighting an ideology that wouldn't die. What started out as a small faction of extremists causing pockets of trouble grew more emboldened and organized each year until they'd expanded their sphere of influence enough to take over Kabul."

"Kabul?" I asked. Geography wasn't my strong suit.

"The capital of Afghanistan. Once they controlled it, their strength only grew. Then 9/11 happened. We'd failed to protect America."

"That's when I joined the Bureau," Finn spoke up. "I'd been approached before, and this was the impetus I needed to make the call."

"The way we waged war changed after the attacks on our soil," Oz added. "Countries came together to attack a common enemy, and intelligence became the most important weapon instead of firepower and brute force."

I looked at him in a new light. I can't believe I pulled a gun on this guy. No wonder he practically laughed in my face. "I've never known anyone who worked for the CIA."

"That you know of." He gave me a sly grin and winked.

That prompted Finn to ask Oz about an associate. While they talked openly, not at all concerned that I was listening, I thought about what Oz had said. Had I interacted with someone from the CIA? It seemed a little farfetched. Then I thought about Ranger. He'd been an Army Ranger, but had he been more?

"I can't believe you two are speaking openly in front of me. Aren't you worried about giving away top-secret information?" I asked.

They both laughed, and then Oz said, "A lot of details are classified, but that doesn't mean I can't talk about my life and experiences with people I trust. I'll be fine as long as I speak in broad strokes."

"You trust me?"

"Finn trusts you, so that buys you some wiggle room."

Finn met my eyes as I smiled at him, touched that he'd deemed me worthy of such an honor. But Oz's comment also shed a black light on Ranger's closed-lip policy about himself. He could have told me about his life and even his job in broad strokes, and he most certainly could have told me about his childhood. His silence told me a lot about how he perceived my place in his life. I couldn't believe I'd bought his whole, if I told you, I'd have to kill you, line. What a sucker I was.

"I've known people with top-secret type jobs," I said, "and they won't talk about a thing. They act like every little thing they've ever done is top secret. You've told me more about yourself and your job in three minutes than they have in three years."

Oz shrugged. "You're not a threat to me, and I wouldn't tell you anything I shouldn't or that'd make you a target, but that doesn't mean I can't have a conversation about myself."

"Wow. I just assumed there was a total ban on discussing the job and things you've done."

"For some people, it can be that way, but I have a different philosophy about life."

"He's irreverent, has no respect for authority, and is an overall pain in the ass," Finn clarified.

"True," Oz conceded, "but I understand the value of friendship and creating trust. Part of that is sharing."

I nodded because what he said sounded right, and I was angry that Ranger didn't have the same approach to friendship. Didn't he trust me? I'd thought I'd done enough over the years to prove my loyalty.

"You're lucky to get private training from this guy. He's one of the best. Not better than me, of course, but now that I'm here, I can round out your training. You know… fill in the holes where Finn is deficient."

I bit my lip but couldn't prevent a smile from forming. "You remind me of someone." I was thinking of Lester, but an older and more lecherous version. "He's full of bullshit, too." I didn't mean to say that last part out loud. I drew back, and my eyes must have looked the same as Judy's when the hunter aimed his rifle at her. This was a highly trained spy that I'd just insulted… to his face. Oh, man, I was dead.

Finn put his hand over his stomach and laughed so hard I thought he would fall off the stool. "She's got your number, man."

Oz didn't take offense. In fact, he seemed rather pleased. "I knew I liked her."

Finn finished his stir fry, and since we were all awake at an unusual hour, Maggie decided she needed to go out. While Finn took her into the backyard, I asked Oz, "Did you bring the alternate identity papers?"

He studied me for a long minute. "I brought the documents, but first, explain why you need a new identity. Are you in trouble with the law? On the run from someone?" That was blunt and frankly none of his business, but something told me he wouldn't hand them over if my reasons weren't good enough.

"I'm not wanted by the police or anyone else. Didn't Finn tell you why I wanted them when he sent my picture?"

"I want to hear it from you. Nobody forks out 15K for no good reason. So, spill it."

My heart started beating faster as I recalled my nightmare from a few weeks ago. Staring back at me through my apartment bathroom mirror had been a woman who had lost everything. She'd been in so much pain that she hadn't wanted to go on, and that scared the hell out of me. I didn't want to think about what had happened to get me to that point. Then the nightmare had switched to me driving while glancing in the rearview for someone following me. It switched again to me walking down the street, covertly checking behind me to make sure I wasn't being followed. The details and feelings of the nightmare were vivid and seared into my brain. I was convinced my Spidey sense was warning me to prepare. That's why I needed the alternate ID papers. They were essential to my survival.

I opened my mouth to explain my feeling that something was going to happen to necessitate my needing to leave Trenton, but every time I tried to put my fears into words, they made me sound crazy. After stopping and starting a couple times, I decided to just go for it. If I sounded like a nutter, so be it. "Do you know my story?"

"I read your file."

"My file?"

"The one the FBI has on you," he clarified.

Has everyone read that damn file but me? I took a deep breath, now was not the time to let my temper get the better of me.

"What I don't understand is why you need these papers? Hunter Durant is dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

"This is going to sound crazy, but sometimes I get these feelings in here." I rubbed my stomach. "I call it my Spidey sense." I waited for him to laugh. When he didn't, I continued. "Mostly, I ignore them unless they're being insistent. Before Durant abducted me, I knew someone had been in my apartment, and I felt someone watching me. I didn't want it to be true, so I convinced myself it was my imagination. That was a mistake. When I was in the cellar, I swore I'd never do that again. My Spidey sense is warning me that something bad is coming. I don't know what or when, just that I'll need to leave my home and hide."

His eyes bored into mine for a long minute, and then he nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" I shook my head, disbelieving it could be this easy.

"You were stalked, kidnapped, and tortured. From what I can tell, trouble finds you. The threat may or may not be real, but having an exit plan is smart. I have several."

I breathed a sigh of relief because he hadn't made me feel crazy.

"I'll give you the documents tomorrow, and we can discuss ways to stay off-grid. But first, tell me what's going on between you and Finn, and don't bother saying nothing because I have eyes."

"That's none of your business."

"He's been through enough. Don't hurt him."

The way he looked at me wasn't exactly threatening, but he was definitely getting his point across. And it was a point that I was going to take very seriously. "I have no intention of hurting Finn or anyone else. I care about him a great deal."

Finn came back inside with Maggie and took a second to assess our interaction. "Are we all good?"

"We're good." Oz got to his feet. "I'll crash on the basement couch."

While Finn walked with Oz to the basement stairs, I loaded the dishwasher. I heard Oz calling goodnight, and then Finn's arm came around me, leading me back to the bedroom.

"He's not at all what I expected," I said.

"He blends in. It's one of his assets. No one pays much attention to him until it's too late."

"I can see that."

"Don't take his laid-back manner for granted. He could kill you in a hundred different ways before you could react. Hell, he could kill me before I reacted. He's that good."

"Wow." My eyes had to be the size of saucers. "I'll be on my best behavior."

"You have nothing to worry about. He likes you."

"How can you tell?"

"He didn't take the gun from you and shoot you."

"I'm glad he likes me, then." I laughed.

"I know someone else who likes you."

"Who?" I got under the blanket with him and slid my leg up his thigh.

"Maggie," he deadpanned.

I smacked him on the arm hard enough to sting, and he chuckled. He got serious when I started kissing his neck, and I whispered, "What about you? Do you like me?"

"I could be persuaded."

I set about convincing him just how likable I could be.