Chapter 6: Hell-ter Skelter
The melting of the snow had brought warmer weather to the ring of Pride. The engine roared with each press of the metal, gears grinding as Blitz incorrectly shifted. Despite previously testing the capabilities of their newfound car, The imp had insisted on a test drive, and was using it to the fullest extent of catcalling and staring at himself in the mirror hoping it would stare back. Before long, he found himself in a barren parking lot on the other side of town, lounging away with a smoke in one hand and a middle finger in the other. The tall trees swayed near the breeze of the water, and the red midday sun mixed with pink clouds. He sighed at the freedom of his view, and leaned outside against the metal door.
"This view fucks." Blitz blurted unceremoniously, his arms crossed and eyes behind sunglasses. The passerbys were oblivious to his antics. He continued to watch the world of the damned fly behind him. He sighed, admiring the view. Blitz had gone out alone; The weight of the world had finally begun to rest on his shoulders, and Atlas watched as the imp thought himself insignificant against his burdens, trudging against the struggles of daily life, fighting against the title of lowest common denominator. He closed his eyes, straining a sigh, escaping past his sharpened teeth formed into a frown.
"This what I have to look forward to?" He thought solemnly . "Fucking strangers for favors and falling in love with each dick that enters my ass while staring at shit?"
His thoughts were unceriminoisly interrupted by a flying rat, who perched itself on the roof of the car. It stared at one of the demon's horns with intent to jump to it, and Blitz gave a unfriendly staredown that the creature seemed to understand as it sat comfortably and cooed at the imp in existential distress.
"The fuck do you want?" Blitz asked the bird.
The bird stared.
"I don't need your bullshit, you flying bitch. If you shit on my goddamn ride I'll turn you into a lamp."
The bird stared.
"Ah, fuck you. Go ahead. It doesn't matter. Nothing does anymore. I'm driving around in a borrowed car with borrowed clothes and a fucking gun that was given to me by a Caterpillar who kicked out my bitch. How's that for a fucking story in your tiny little shit bird brain?"
Time had gone far past any meaning. Even if his closest friend or worst enemy gave all the time in the world, none of it would matter, and the imp would continue to stare aimlessly into the midday glow of clouds. His demeanor shifted when he noticed the bird suddenly walk closer before sitting on the edge of the rusted roof of the car, legs outstretched like a person. The imp watched in a mixture of disgust and intrigue at the newfound knowledge of how flying rats sit, shaking his head and taking another drag before returning his surrounding gaze.
"You have no idea how good you have it." Blitz sighed. "I can hardly even fucking write my own name, let alone talk about my feelings. You just have to shit on everyone and feel good about it. Yeah, I've been there. Doesn't work out for imps."
The bird's eyes almost formed a shining sense of understanding, a twinkle in the eyes of different species who formed a strange, if temporary bond. It almost formed a halfhearted smile on Blitz, who took the opportunity of his newfound audience member to grieve some more about the world of sinners and hellborn.
"I've never met a human, but if I did, I'd tear their fucking dick off and feed it to you." Blitz snarled. "Fuckers aren't even born here and they get better shit than us. The top fucking ring."
The bird shifted its sitting position, taking interest in the lamenting of the imp.
"At least I can go wherever the fuck my ass wants. They're stuck up here..." Blitz sighed, extinguishing his cigarette by twisting it on the cracked concrete. "Guess I am too. For now."
"You got a problem with us or something, old man?" A tone of hostility spoke behind the imp. Blitz turned. A spastic collection of youthful sinners were laughing and taking glimpses at the less than desirable vehicle. The tallest of the bunch wore a tattered jacked stained with dry blood, bearing tusks of ivory, scratched, and worn from survival over their time in Hell He looked at Blitz with a distaste as he pretended to be disinterested by looking away and returning his gaze when he thought the imp was not staring, but he was. In fact, Blitz had not taken his eyes off him as the group began to become less and less inconspicuous. With the strike of a lighter and the burning glow of another cigarette, the imp quietly restrained his inner conflicts through the snickering of the group heard over the sparse traffic passing by. It was not long before they began to irritate Blitz as he constricted his tongue.The group quickly made way with whittling his patience with further judgement, further causing the imp more irritability as he muted their continuous snarky remarks and lit another glowing cigarette.
"Fuckin dicks." Blitz mumbled, his hand flicking ashes into the ground. "Can't even have a midlife crisis in peace."
"You're clearly not from around here, are you, old man?" the tallest asked with malice within their tusks.
"Yeah, guess you could say that." Blitz said calmly. "At least my shithole is doesn't have fucking creeps who stare at my ass while I'm trying to think."
"Is that what you call that?" a shorter sinner asked. His reptilian likeness skulked the movements of his target. "I call it being where you don't belong."
"I don't believe that you own this for a second." The tallest added. "Imps are lucky to have a shirt on their back, let alone an entire car."
Blitz gave a loud and unfriendly groan of distaste at his harassers. "Look, short dick, I've got-"
"It's Dominus." The tallest announced. "The reptile is Anguish. That's all you need to know."
"Okay, Dumb Bitch and Ass Fish. I've got things to fuck and bitches to do so unless you wanna be one of them I suggest you -"
A hand was suddenly grasped around Blitz neck. The imp suddenly smiled and stared daggers to his new prey, who were none the wiser that they had just encountered the one resident of Hell who was having one bad day.
"Suggest I what?" Dom snarled, and the others watched with malicious grins.
"Get off my damn car." Blitz demanded.
"Make me." Dom said.
The tall sharp grin extended on Blitz's face. "Daddy would love to."
The two conflicting sides eyed each other, with the loud coos suddenly flying past Blitz in a blur with a loud screech from Dom causing him to drop his grip of the imp. The imp in question quickly took the opportunity to reach into the car, turning the radio and pulling down the glovebox and cocking his signature firearm for the past week. He took quick aim at Dom, but was grabbed by Anguish as the latter dug a sharp clawed hand into Blitz arm in a desperate attempt to wrestle control. Blitz responded with an elbow into the reptiles stomach, sending them back and blasting a bullet into their neck as Anguish fell in a collection of blood and ironically anguished cries of pain. The bird returned to Blitz shoulder, properly perched this time.
"You son of a bitch." Dom said violently, venom dripping from each word. "Your corpse will look great on the front of my car. I'll fuckin parade your little body and show every demon that we're the best down here!"
"I am SO fucking hard right now!" Blitz exclaimed. "Come and get me!!!"
Dom charged. Blitz immediately dodged underneath the towering sinner, causing them to slam into the car headfirst, denting the side of the car. Blitz grabbed one of Dom's tusks and forcefully pushed him off the car before continuing to hold his grasp as the imp made sure the towering display of cowardice was thrown into the surrounding group, sending most down to the ground. One of the odd ones out brandished a knife and stepped to the side and managed to grab Blitz's hand holding his gun, sending the firearm to the ground in a struggle to grab it. The demon shoved them off, ducked, and used his own horns to his advantage before thrusting the pointed end of one directly into eye of the attacker. It returned out the other end, and Blitz stood with a spell of psychotic laughter and blood across his white marks now shining a crimson hue.
"Anybody else want some of Daddy's sweet nectar?" The imp seethed through gritted teeth.
"Fucking creep." Dom holstered his own gun, repeating the imp's stance as the two aimed their respective firearms. "I tried to play nice, but now it's-"
Blitz fired. The shot hit another member directly in the head, sending blood across Dom's backside. The sinner took a side jump and grazed the imp in the side, causing Blitz to exhale a scream of agony and instinctually start firing rapidly into the remaining group of three. Dom managed to dodge and grab the imp as his remaining two members fell. Blitz was thrown away from the car and his pistol into the empty lot, scrapes from the fall and standing on his newly handed arse. Dom aimed down his sights at the imp before an angry flying rat suddenly swooped in and began screeching and sending the gun to the ground. Blitz recovered himself and grabbed the dropped weapon before cocking the hammer and dropping the magazine, allowing for a more personal approach towards the fighting of the duo. He retrieved one of the knives of his fallen enemies and began swinging at Dom, who grabbed the bird and Blitz's brandishing arm before sending a kick to the imp's abdomen.
"My dad hits me harder than that." Blitz said as he retaliated with a kick of his own at the stunned disgust of the sinner before grabbing them by the neck and leaning close. "You know what the best part about getting the shit beaten out of you is? You learn how to hit harder."
Dom's eyes widened. A burning pain entered his abdomen, scraping by as blood poured down beneath him. Before he could look down, he was shoved to the ground and left for dead. His groaning and begging for life was left ignored, and the imp's exhaustion finally met him as he leaned against the car and breathed heavily. He swore. The bird returned to his shoulder, giving a small coo as if to ask if the imp was alright.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." Blitz said to the bird. He walked across to the driver's seat before entering and rolling down the window for his feathered friend. "Guess I gotta name you, huh?"
The bird tilted its head. It flew across the seat and rested on the center console, stepping around in curiosity and picking at the sun-cracked faux leather. Blitz leaned an arm against the door, readjusting his sunglasses. He smiled one last time.
"Yeah." Blitz said. "Let's go fuck some shit up, Stan."
Stan cooed, and the two pulled off into the day, leaving behind a reflection of blood and body parts, with the few survivors struggling to recall the events that just unfolded.