What If They Were Competent?

by Mr. Chaos

The Stipulation: One chapter a day. 500 words or less. Every episode of Rugrats. The Challenge: What if the adults on Rugrats were actually good parents? Watched their kids? Thought ahead? DIDN'T think it was fine for babies to nearly die every 5 days? Tommy is about to have a very different life with Stu and Didi actually using their brains.

83. Rhinoceritis

Rhinoceritis

"Careful there, sweetheart," Stu said, walking over to Angelica as she got out some medical bandages and moved towards a concerned Spike. "I think that might be a bit too much on Spike."

"But Uncle Stu, I need to help Spike get better."

"And I'm sure he is thankful for that but see how much fur he has?" Stu reached down and petted Spike, the dog sticking out his tongue and licking Stu's hand. "The bandages might hurt him."

"Aw…" Angelica said, pouting.

Stu though rubbed his chin. "Though… let me see your bag." Angelica opened it up and Stu took a quick peek inside. "Yeah… I think we can work with all this!" He began to pet Spike, lulling the pupper into a nice calm so he could roll him onto his back. "Okay, so take your stethoscope-"

"My what?" Stu onted at the stethoscope around Angelica's neck and she blinked. "OH! My stemoscope!"

"Right," Stu said with a chuckle. "Put the two ends into your years, okay?" Angelica did so, the babies watching as he gently guided her hand with the other end towards Spike's chest. "Now then, if we do this right…"

Angelica let out a gasp. "I hear something! I hear something!"

"That's his heartbeat!" Stu told her.

For the next hour Stu played with Angelica, showing her how to properly use all the different toys in her doctor's bag. Sometimes they used Spike. Other times, such as with the small rubber hammer she had, he had her do it on him for safety's sake. He even found some ways she could get the babies involved, such as having her use the stethoscope on Tommy or wrapping Phil's hand with bandages much to the baby's delight.

Meanwhile, in the house Drew looked over Stu and Didi's taxes, nodding to himself. "Well, the bad news is you do owe some to the government."

"Oh dear."

"But-" he quickly added, "-the reason why is that Stu managed to do so well with Pickles Toys that he's actually bumped you up to a higher tax bracket!"

"That's wonderful!" Didi said with a grin. "Because… and I suppose I can tell you…" she glanced back and forth before saying in a low voice, "Stu and I are thinking of having another baby!"

In heaven a soul with a jellybean-shaped head giggled and clapped.

"Laugh it up," the blond bearded creator declared, "just remember that when you get down there I get to mess with your canon."

"Wha?" the soul said.

"And remember… I actually like Tommy," he warned the little soul. "You're annoying behind? Not so much."

The little soul gulped.