.

Brood of a New Age

14.

Maria came into the living room with a bucket. She stroked Graziella's head with a rough hand as she passed by before setting about cleaning the window there. The girl was staring at the TV, watching the morning children program on pay TV. She had been so excited when Maria had told her that, when they were alone, she could use the TV in the living room as much as she wanted. A TV that was MUCH bigger than the one at Viola's. But the freedom she had in those few hours alone with Maria did not outweigh all the disadvantages of her new life in America.

"Graziella. You're lying on the couch like a roadkill again, what's wrong?"

The girl watched as Maria began to wet wipe the muntin windows and sighed. When it was just Maria and her she felt most at ease. Maria gave her delicious food and never told her she was getting fat. Maria never got impatient and when she laughed at one of Graziella's questions it never made her feel stupid. And above all, she didn't have to wear stupid little dresses. She could wear jeans. Or stay in her pajamas like she was doing now. She knew she would have to change soon but if it was just her and Maria she could wear whatever she wanted.

"Tell me what's wrong, why are you such a mope?"

Graziella didn't know what a mope was yet but she had probably been just that for the last few days.

"Why can't I go to school, Maria?" asked Graziella, noticing very well that with this question she briefly distracted the older woman from her purposeful movements. Before she continued wiping, more hurried than before and spoke without looking at her.

"Oh sweety, many children in America wish they had such good private teachers as you have. Home schooling is very common here. Besides, it's summer vacation time in America right now. Otherwise, the wives' children would not be in Hoboken all the time. Only you have tuition even now so that you can catch up on what you're missing and so that you don't get too bored."

"But I want to go to a real school. Where I can make real friends."

"You have plenty to choose from among the wives' children. Surely one of them will be good enough for a friend."

Briefly, Graziella thought of Sonny. The tall quiet boy was much older than she but he probably had no friends. And the other kids, although it would have been easy for him to beat them up, were always mean to him when the wives didn't witness it. Maybe because of that stupid thing with the wrong magazine. But still, she shook her head.

"These kids are all terrible! I want to go to a real school. I don't need a private tutor."

"You don't need one but you have one. Just like the credit card, that's how your family shows you how precious you are to them."

"THAT'S a problem too! The credit card! No, the wives! I don't want to go back to the wives, Maria. Can't I stay here?"

"The family has decided that you go there every other day. There's nothing I can do about it."

"I thought you were family too."

"That's not how it works, Graziella."

"But there it's stupid. The kids are loud and mean to each other. And ever since the wives saw I had a credit card they keep dragging me shopping."

"Oh, I was wondering about all those bags of clothes at your place," Maria said dryly, shaking her head disapprovingly. Graziella stood up, clutching her apron.

"Can't you- can't you take all the money off the credit card? That they see they can't go shopping with me anymore?"

"I think the money in this account is too much to transfer unnoticed," Maria whispered, and Graziella buried her face in her skirt. Maria was pretty much the only good thing in America and she felt comfortable enough with her to really act like a child in front of her and show her feelings. Her dad was never home because she had learned that he didn't even live in this house! He lived in a HOTEL! And her aunt and great uncle were hardly ever home. In the morning before she got up they were already gone with their staff and in the evening they were still not at home. Often no one came home and Maria had said the Dracons had apartments and houses all over town and sometimes slept somewhere else when it was too late to go home. She ate either alone or with Maria, never with the other Dracons. There was never a chance to talk to them because they were always busy or looked at her when she came into the room as if they didn't approve of her being there. On the few occasions when she saw her father with Antoinette or Dino, they didn't seem to get along very well. They were all businessmen (and women). Graziella had wanted to ask Maria about the business problems between them, but then she remembered that they were not allowed to talk about their business, so she didn't dare.

"If you talk to Tony (she still found it strange to call her dad by his first name), and I don't have to go there so often, I'll help you with the cleaning too. Every day I'll help you," Graziella said desperately.

Maria giggled but her smile disappeared when Graziella looked up and Maria saw tears in her eyes. She put down the rag, threw the towel over her shoulder and bent down and hugged the child tightly.

Graziella wrapped her arms around Maria's neck. For a few moments - maybe even two or three minutes - Graziella was rocked back and forth by Maria. She was not picked up like a baby but stood on both feet. It was a little like dancing. Only without moving from the spot. Outside the window, cars drove by and they stood in the morning sunlight doing nothing but hugging each other. Maria smelled of cleaning products, cappuchino, detergent and a tiny bit of sweat. Maria smelled like safety and warmth.

"You miss your friends in Italy, don't you?"

"Yes," she returned. It was the truth and yet would have required a lot more explanation. But she wouldn't have been able to get out much right now anyway or she would have started bawling and she didn't want to bawl like a little kid in front of Maria either.

"Even an adult would have a hard time leaving his old home and being thrown into a whole new life. You have to give yourself and everyone else time. It gets easier. You'll get used to everything. And eventually everything that bothers you now will become normal. It will not make you so sad anymore. The wives will stop besieging you as soon as anything else attracts their attention. That's how they are. And you'll make friends even if you don't get along with the other kids in the family yet. That will come with time."

Maria let go of her and smiled at her.

"You're Graziella Dracon. You can take it. Tell me you can take it."

"I-I can take it."

"We're all unhappy at times, but you'll find ways to handle it."

"What do you do when you're unhappy?"

"I distract myself with something I like to do. With my hobbies. Like crossword or puzzles."

"Puzzles?"

"Yes. Boring, right? But I like to do it. What do you like to do?"

Graziella lowered her head and thought. In Italy, she hadn't needed hobbies. There had always been something to distract her apart from school and homework. She had played with the other children or watched the swallows. Or she had helped her Nonna to keep the house tidy and clean. Even during the vacations when other children and their families went on vacation or to visit relatives, she had found things to do. Roam all day in the woods around Limatola. Or watch the farmers in the fields or the craftsmen and ask them how and why they did things this way and not that way. Or walk the dog of the old Signora Rossa. Last year she had even taught that stray to sit and Signora Rossa had paid her ten thousand lira as thanks. She had been paid! Her first own earned money. Not just pocket money. But wages for work she had not done for her grandma.

Without thinking about it any further, Graziella said. "I would love to have a pet. A dog!"

A brief laugh escaped Maria and Graziella's smile vanished from her face. Maria instantly regretted her laugh.

"Oh my darling, sorry. That-I wasn't laughing at you. I, I just thought you were so cute just now."

"That was a stupid idea. I'm not even allowed to go out by myself. How could I have a dog and walk it?" she said, sniffling loudly. Sometimes Graziella had used her puppy dog eyes, and whining and sniffling, to persuade her mamma to do something (which rarely worked). Or to persuade her Nonna to do something (which had worked even more rarely). Now with Maria, she didn't snivel to manipulate her as an adult. She was sad and showed it because she was really sad. Maria's hands stroked both her cheeks. "Oh my sweetie. I-, it's really inconvenient to have a dog in New York. But ... but I'll ask Mr. Dracon."

"Really?" Graziella looked at her with wide eyes. She hadn't expected that. Maria had made it clear that she was not part of the "family" who could make any demands on the Dracons. Was this something different?

"I think a dog is a lot to ask. Because Tony would always have to assign a staff member to accompany you when you go for a walk. Since your family is always worried about you, after all. There are a lot of bad men in such a big city. But ... but I can ask him for a pet. Maybe a... a cat. Or a rabbit. Like your Grigio. Would you like that?"

Graziella hugged her again.

"Yes. Yes, that would be so nice, "she whispered into the crook of Maria's neck. A pet would not ease Graziella's distress about the wives. Or fix her lack of friends. Or that she never left the house without a guardian, even though in Limatola she was outside all day, summer and winter, until the church clocks chimed in the evening. Yes! That was it, she realized at that moment. Everything would be less straining if only she were allowed to go out alone. She didn't want to go far at all, didn't want to walk alone through Manhattan or anywhere else. Just ... to the nearest playground or something. Where maybe she could meet other kids. She understood why everyone was afraid for her because New York was big and full of bad people. Maria made that clear day after day and even the wives kept saying it even though they mostly laughed right after. Maybe when her guardian realized how responsible and safe she could walk a dog, she would eventually be allowed to go to a playground by herself. "Will you ask him about a dog first?" begged Graziella softly. " Only if he doesn't allow that at all ask for a rabbit."

"Okay, sweetheart. But don't be impatient. I can't promise you anything. But I'll ask when I feel it's a good moment."

"Thank you Maria. I love you so much!"

"I love you too. Now go upstairs and get changed. Your tutor will be here soon. Be good and study."

Thanks for reading, Q.T.