Chapter 19 Apaisé (Or, Calmed)
Asuka looked up to see Kurama on the phone. He was probably calling his assistant to tell her he would be late this morning. She hadn't expected there to be an appointment open so soon with her OB/GYN, but her doctor had a cancelation and Asuka jumped at the chance to see her doctor.
Her unbridled joy at the positive pregnancy test had long since cooled. She was worried. When Kurama hung up the phone, he must've read her expression because he asked her what was wrong.
"Well," Asuka bit her lip. "What if the pregnancy isn't viable?"
Understanding flooded his face. He quickly crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. "Their life is small but strong," he said into her hair.
"It could be ectopic."
Kurama kissed the top of her hair. "Will we find out at the doctor's?"
"We should. They usually do an ultrasound since an ectopic pregnancy is dangerous. They want to catch it early, before the fallopian tube ruptures."
"Okay," Kurama said into her hair. "Then we won't have to wait long to find out."
She nodded into his chest. "I'm sorry…I can't help but be worried."
"It's alright," he said gently. "It's perfectly understandable."
Asuka's hands wandered up to his biceps. She gripped them and felt his hardened muscles flex underneath her fingers. "I love you."
"And I love you."
As Asuka got lost in Kurama's gentle touch, she reflected on how his treatment of her had shifted this past week. He was always tender, but this was different. She felt it most keenly in how he had made love to her. Gentle and slow in a way she hadn't experienced before.
And oh, how Asuka loved him.
Please be okay in there, Tiny Love.
Kurama and Asuka broke apart.
"What time do we need to leave?" he asked.
"Nine. Sorry to make you late for work again. I know you had a meeting."
"I was able to move it later, so it's not a problem. But even if I hadn't, you come first. The baby…" he said as he placed a hand on her abdomen, "comes first."
She nodded.
"I am glad it is Friday," he said. "I can't wait to spend the weekend with you."
"Me too."
"Shall we?"
"Yes, let's go."
-* ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ *-
The car ride to the doctor was quiet. Kurama acted as her tether and held her hand tight as they drove. She practiced steadying her breathing and did her best to not get worked up. When her blood pressure spiked, Kurama sent soothing waves through his hand.
The doctor's office was in a large building that also housed other medical practices. Kurama parked in a parking garage around the corner and held her hand as they walked into the building. Her fertility doctor differed from her OB/GYN, so this would be the first time Kurama would meet Doctor Satsuki.
It's going to be okay. It has to be, she told herself.
They took the elevator up to the fifth floor and went through the door. After Asuka got checked in they waited, and after waiting for what felt like an eternity (though it was only ten minutes) a nurse brought Asuka and Kurama to the exam room.
The nurse took Asuka's vitals and chatted with her about the visit.
"And when was the positive result?" the nurse asked as she typed on the computer.
"Eight days ago," Asuka said.
"Okay. And the date of your last period?"
Asuka told the nurse, and she nodded. "The doctor will be with you shortly. You don't need to get undressed for this appointment."
The nurse left them in silence, save for a ticking clock. Kurama squeezed Asuka's hand. She looked at her lifeline. Her rock in a raging storm. Everything she needed. He leaned over and kissed her hair.
There was a knock on the door, and Doctor Satsuki entered. She was younger than the fertility doctor but still older than Asuka. Well…older than what Asuka was supposed to be.
Doctor Satsuki inhaled a sharp breath when her eyes settled on Kurama, who was wearing his black spring jacket.
I can't blame you, Asuka thought. He is very sexy.
"I'm Shuichi Minamino," Kurama offered, unphased by Doctor Satsuki's reaction. "It's nice to meet you."
She cleared her throat and pushed up her glasses. "Yes, hello. I'm Doctor Satsuki. It's nice to meet you too. And how are you, Asuka?" she asked, as she tore her eyes from Kurama.
"I'm…hopeful but also scared."
The doctor smiled, then sat on the stool. "This is certainly a surprise. I got the notes from the fertility clinic. They had deemed, and with good reason, I might add, you couldn't get pregnant. But sometimes when we give a bad diagnosis, we are wrong. That's the beauty of medicine."
Asuka nodded. "I didn't expect this to happen at all. My friend said something to me which made me take the pregnancy test, but it was mostly just to get the thought that I could be pregnant out of my mind."
The Doctor nodded. "I understand. Well, let's not keep you waiting. Let's see what's going on. Climb on the bed for me and lower your pants to your hips."
Asuka did what she requested, and Kurama immediately came up next to her. Once her hand was free, he clasped it again. His thumb gently stroked over hers.
"Cool gel," the Doctor said just before she shook a bottle and squirted some onto Asuka's abdomen.
Her heart pounded.
The Doctor undid the ultrasound wand and turned on the monitor. Then she placed the wand below Asuka's belly button and moved it around. A gray image popped up on the screen. The Doctor moved the wand further over and revealed a black space with a tiny gray blob.
"That's your uterus, and that's your baby," the Doctor said. "Right where they should be. And…let's see. Yup, I can see the electrical pulses. If you look carefully, you can see them. I know it looks faint, but that's normal. Everything looks wonderful, Asuka. Your pregnancy is viable."
Asuka burst into tears. She felt Kurama's other hand come through her hair and brace her shoulder as they stared at the screen.
"I'm going to move the wand around some. We're going to make sure there isn't anybody else in here."
She moved the wand in a large circle around Asuka's belly before she came back to the center. "Okay, just the one."
The Doctor lingered for a moment so Asuka and Kurama could get another look. Even though the image was just a tiny circle inside of her, she felt overwhelmed. That was the beginning of her child's life. A life that would soon change hers and Kurama's.
When Doctor Satsuki turned off the monitor, Asuka looked up at her husband. His eyes were filled with adoration and emotion. He squeezed her hand and channeled a little ki into it, which communicated his feelings.
He was happy. Very happy.
"Here's a paper towel for you," the Doctor said as she handed a wad to Asuka. "Once you're cleaned up, you can have a seat again."
Asuka let go of Kurama's hand and wiped off the goop. Once she finished, she hopped down and settled back into the chair.
"Okay," the nurse said, "for the first trimester, we only see women once a month unless something comes up. If you haven't already, you'll probably experience pregnancy symptoms soon. Cramps are common, and so is spotting. Spotting occurs for lots of different reasons. If it happens, just monitor the flow. If you feel like there's a problem, you can always call me."
Asuka nodded, grateful for the information.
"And even though vomiting is common, call me if you can't keep any food or liquid down. Otherwise, we'll see you in a month. I've got a few other things to go over."
Kurama straightened beside her and listened intently to everything the doctor told them. Obviously, no alcohol was mentioned, and the doctor gave Asuka some tips on how to manage pregnancy sickness. She gave them some paperwork and then bid the couple farewell.
Asuka slipped her hand into Kurama's and they rode down the elevator with a few other people. Even though he was perfectly still, Asuka could feel Kurama's impatience. The elevator dinged, and everybody filed out. He kept his grip firm on her while he picked up the pace. When he got outside, he pulled her along. Asuka smiled widely.
As soon as they were on a lonely side street, Kurama picked her up. She let out a squeak, which turned to joyful laughter. Kurama's smile was the widest she'd ever seen. Unashamed joy radiated from her husband as he spun her around. Her eyes filled with happy tears as she looked into his emerald eyes.
Kurama set her down and kissed her fiercely, unconcerned as if people saw them.
"I'm so happy, Asuka," he whispered after he pulled his mouth away.
"Me too."
He pulled her into a fierce hug. "I haven't felt this happy since the day I got you back after I thought you were dead."
She pulled at his jacket as she stared up at him. "Me too. Except, maybe our wedding day."
"That was a very good day too," he agreed before he leaned down and pulled at her lips with his own.
Asuka felt like she could melt.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered after he let go of her mouth. "I'm…overwhelmed."
She grinned. It wasn't often Kurama got this out-of-sorts, and she reveled in his joy. Hers reflected his and his back to hers in an unending mirror. He hugged her tightly again. "I love you, and…"
"I love you," she said, reciprocating his touch.
Kurama's hands went into her hair, and he sighed deeply.
"Work?" Asuka asked.
"Yes. Today will be most unproductive, I fear."
Asuka ran her fingers through his hair. "I don't want you to leave, either."
"Should I drop you off at home?"
"I suppose," Asuka said. She knew he had to go to work, but she was disappointed. She wanted to be near her husband and cuddle into his chest.
"I know. Me too, Love." He sighed again. "At least today is not a client day. I can leave right on time. Should we get takeaway this evening?"
"Okay," Asuka said. "That sounds good."
He gripped her hand tightly, and they walked back to the car. Kurama still held her hand while he drove, and there was a faint smile plastered on his face.
Asuka sighed. "This doesn't seem real."
"But it is," he said happily.
"It is."
When Kurama parked, he turned toward her and smirked. His hand came to caress her face. "It seems all you needed was for me to make unending love to you in a villa by the beach."
Asuka felt heat shoot through her at Kurama's smoldering gaze. She bit the corner of her lip as her mind flooded with images of him overwhelming her in Tahiti. "Guess so," she breathed.
He brought her face closer and pressed his mouth and tongue into hers, which only riled Asuka up further. Kurama broke the kiss and his eyes fluttered. "You make it so hard to leave you."
"Good."
Kurama looked at his watch, and then back at her, apologetically.
"It's all right, Love," Asuka said. "I'll see you later. Come back home quickly to me."
He nodded. "What are you going to do today?"
"Hmmm…I have some work I need to do and some practicing, but I think I might treat myself to reading at the café."
"You deserve it." Kurama smiled.
Asuka stared at her husband and then pulled him by the collar of his jacket back to her mouth. She kissed him fiercely until she forced herself to stop.
"I love you. I'll be back tonight," he said in a low voice. "I can't wait to spend time with you."
"That makes two of us." She smiled.
Kurama kissed her cheek, and Asuka reluctantly got out of the car. She watched him drive away before she went up to their apartment.
I'm pregnant.
Her happiness threatened to overwhelm her. She caressed her belly lightly. "Grow strong," she whispered.
Asuka grabbed Crossroads of Twilight off the coffee table and carefully tucked the enormous book underneath her arm. She exited her apartment again and walked to the local coffee shop down the block.
This shop made coffee via the siphon method. It was a lot of work to brew it this way, but it made the coffee velvety and smooth. There were several types of coffee in glassware over boilers that made everything look like a science experiment.
The barista poured her Ethiopian coffee and gave her a small cream. Then she took her coffee to a table next to the window.
For the next hour, Asuka got lost in Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series while a quiet and happy river flowed in the back of her mind. She was pregnant.
There was a prick in Asuka's mind, and she looked up sharply. When she did, she jumped backward in her seat.
"Sorry," Koenma said.
Asuka sighed, then closed the book.
"Can I sit?" he asked.
Asuka nodded, and Koenma pulled out a chair. He was in his adult body and dressed in modern clothes to better disguise himself. He didn't have his pacifier, either.
"How is your training going?"
Asuka winced. She hadn't thought about training since she had found out she was pregnant, and it bombarded her with worry. Foresight had always negative effects on this body. She couldn't risk trying to activate it. Right. She had decided she didn't need Foresight. She only needed Insight to tell her where the Dragons were and what they wanted.
"It's…going slowly," Asuka said. "I keep hitting a barrier I didn't experience before the 'procedure' went wrong. I see a fog now, and while I have gained more control, I can't see past the fog."
Koenma nodded, his face grave.
"What's wrong?"
"Well," he sighed. "Asuka…I'm not sure how to tell you this."
Her heart pounded.
"I think it's likely you won't ever get back your Foresight. Even with training."
Her throat went dry. "Why?"
His lips pulled into a tight line. "Well…I looked more into what happened and…"
She nodded, urging him to go on.
"Asuka…I don't want to tell you what happened while you were unconscious unless you really want me to."
"That bad?" she whispered.
Koenma's face twisted. "Yes."
Asuka blinked tears while she stared out the window. Then she said, "Tell me the overview."
"Well, there were lots of experiments with your ki to try to determine how to force you to reconvert before they hooked you up to the machine."
"I thought that's what would happen." Her voice was dry, low, and barely audible over the coffee shop's gentle hum of background chatter.
"Enma's people eventually figured out how to make it happen. He had you hooked up to a device that was essentially supercharging your ki by making a weird feedback loop by agitating your ki. Highly volatile."
Asuka nodded again.
"Based on the video footage and the notes that were left behind by the doctor, the process was maybe halfway complete when Kurama found you. He killed the doctor and forced the machine to shut down by destroying the power source."
Kurama hadn't told her that part. He had said little about what had happened that day and she didn't ask. But she knew Kurama was still furious over what had happened.
Koenma brought his fingers upward and tented them against his mouth. "I'll be frank. Yanking the power system and forcing the device to shut down was the worst thing he could have done."
Asuka's eyes widened. "Is that why my Foresight was cut off?"
Koenma nodded. "We are almost certain. Kurama would have needed to cycle the device down and shut it off to keep your ki intact. The abrupt shutoff was traumatic for your ki."
Asuka leaned back and ran her fingers through her hair. "He couldn't have known."
"No."
"It's not his fault," Asuka said firmly. "This is Enma's fault. If he hadn't been so greedy—if he hadn't been trying to force something on me…" she blinked.
"Yes, this is Enma's fault," Koenma agreed. "Kurama made a quick decision, given the circumstances, and I don't blame him for his choices—but it does have lasting consequences for you, and us."
"Yes," Asuka said. "It does."
"Will you tell him?"
Asuka looked out the window at the busy street. "Maybe, but even if he finds out, it wouldn't make him regret his decision. He'd probably make the same decision because shutting down the machine meant getting me out faster. He wanted me safe and alive."
"And that's what is most important," Koenma said. He looked at her again. "I asked some of my people if using the device again would make things better or worse for you. Their opinion was unanimous—using the device again would kill you. Your ki and body can't go through that strain again."
Asuka reflexively placed her hand on her stomach. "Even if it gave me my powers back…I can't. I'm…pregnant."
Surprise lit up Koenma's face. "You are? Congratulations! Is that…does anybody else know?"
"Just Kurama, for now," Asuka said softly.
He nodded again.
"Foresight is out of the picture because of this child, but I had already decided I don't need Foresight. I just need Insight to tell me where the Dragons are located, and what they want. I just need to unlock enough of my ki to see it. I think I can work on my ki still, but I'll have to be cautious."
"To that end, we did find some literature about the dragons in Enma's library, but the texts are ancient and mysterious. They speak of powerful weavers who float in sky and lake from the beginning to the end forever."
Asuka frowned. "Well, that's cryptic. Weavers. Hmm…"
"There is no mention of where they are. I went and saw Enma again, but he won't budge."
"They've got to be somewhere in the Makai, right? That's the only place the time distortions are happening."
"It's getting worse," Koenma said.
"That's not good."
"No."
Asuka and Koenma stared at each other as they processed.
"Even if you're right, which I think you are," Koenma said, "the Makai is huge. Without knowing where to go, it's pointless to venture in there. And it's even more dangerous for you now."
Asuka cupped her stomach again. "There's got to be a way," she whispered. "Koenma, this baby…it's a miracle. I have to protect this life with everything I have."
"I know. We'll keep looking and you keep doing what you can. I'll check in with you again soon." He stood. "I'm sorry to put this on you."
"It's okay, we'll figure it out. We always do."
Koenma exited the shop without another word.
Asuka looked out the window and then back down at her book. She put her face into her hands and sighed. She couldn't read now because she needed to work on her ki.
What about you? she asked. I can't risk you. The spark inside was always getting some of her ki but she couldn't risk an overdose.
Then, Asuka had an idea. Maybe she could create a safe haven inside her body around the baby. She could route her ki around the area similar to damming a river. She closed her eyes and visualized what she wanted. As she concentrated on her body, she felt the tiny spark within her. It made her want to cry.
Gently, she moved her ki around the area and blocked off the correct pathways. She tested it by increasing the amount of ki in her body by a minuscule amount. Then, she increased more. Everything looked good.
Dragons, Asuka pleaded. Tell me where you are. I want to help you, but I have life inside me now. I have to protect them. How do I do both?
Her vision of a foggy lake came back, but there was no answer.
She blinked when a single tear ran down her cheek.
Author's Note:
Hello! It's finally warm where I live and the sun is shining. It's amazing how much of a difference that makes! Just an FYI about next week's chapter: I'm not sure if I'll be able to get it out at my usual time. I picked up some more hours at work while it's busy before the crazy slow summer season so it might be hard to find time to edit next week, we'll see. But if you don't see a new chapter from me that's why.
LadyFox15: I love that you guessed she was pregnant from watching that show! Fun fact: I was extremely late on taking a test for my daughter because I also just thought it was cramps ahahahaha. Amazing how a TV show offers more education on pregnancy than school health class! Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapters and the demon boys. They are so fun to write! And so is Yusuke being a dad. I think he'd be such a great dad honestly. I loved the cookie stash too :-D. Hope you have a lovely week!