What If They Were Competent?

by Mr. Chaos

The Stipulation: One chapter a day. 500 words or less. Every episode of Rugrats. The Challenge: What if the adults on Rugrats were actually good parents? Watched their kids? Thought ahead? DIDN'T think it was fine for babies to nearly die every 5 days? Tommy is about to have a very different life with Stu and Didi actually using their brains.

158. Pirate Light

Pirate Light

"Did you hear that, guys?" Tommy cried out. "The Pirate Light is out!"

Chuckie shivered. "That means a pirate is gonna come and get your treasure, Tommy!"

Tommy nodded, standing tall. "We have to protect everyone! That's what big kids would do!"

"But how Tommy?" Phil asked. "We're stuck in this playpen."

Tommy considered that. "Uh… maybe… maybe if we jump really hard we can get over it!"

"Yeah!" lil cheered. "Let's try!"

Lou chuckled as he watched the kids begin to hop about. "Look at the sprouts go! So much energy… Keep up at it, Tommy!" The baby, thinking that his grandpa meant that his jumping was somehow helping stop the pirates, doubled his efforts.

DING DONG!

"I got it!" Didi called out, coming down stairs. She opened the door to see a blond man with glasses and a circle beard standing there. "Oh… you look nothing like your picture in the phone book."

"He's sick," the man said. "I'm dealing with your problem."

Didi shrugged and pointed him to the basement before coming into the living room. "Hopefully that will fix things up." She smiled as she watched Tommy jumping up and down. "Oh, my big boy!" she said, picking him up.

"Speakin' of big that onsie ya have him in is getting' rather snug!" Lou got up and poked Tommy's belly, making him giggle. "Don't ya think its time we got him something better?"

"You know, I think you're right. Tommy hasn't tried taking his clothes off for a while… I think we can try going back to his old blue shirt." She paused as she lifted him up a bit higher. "Hmmm… or not. He has gotten rather big. We should shop for some big boy clothes for him."

Tommy gasped in delight. It had worked! He had acted like a big boy and now he wouldn't have to wear the snappy shirt anymore! And he would get new big boy clothes!

"All fixed!" the blond man said.

"That was quick!" Lou declared as Didi cuddled with Tommy. "How are we sure ya fixed it?"

"Oh, it was a snap." The man leaned in close. "Trixie sends her love, Lou."

"Well I… wait, wha-"

And before Lou's eyes the man disappeared.

"Did… did ya see that-"

"See what, pops?" Didi said, having not noticed the man disappear.

"I… huh."

~MC~MC~MC~

"That was nice of you," Trixie said as the creator reappeared in Heaven. "But why dirty your hands?"

"You think I'm letting Andrew Dice Clay around babies?!" the creator exclaimed.