Guys, you all have seen it, and now it is here. The chapter based off of the episode 4 from the "Helluva Boss" series, the clash between I.M.P and C.H.E.R.U.B, but the whole issue is changed, and I don't care what anyone else thinks, the others helped me out in this confirmation and god dang it to shit, this is gonna happen, so, let the battle between death and not dying commence! Enjoy reading this, Folks!
Helluva Loud Adventures.
(Commercial.)
We now see the image of heaven, well the gates of heaven open and the location of Cherub Town is shown, and then we meet the trio of the company: Cletus, Collin and Keenie.
Cletus: Well howdy! I'm Cletus, welcome to heaven! Guess you did something good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessings!
(Cue C.H.E.R.U.B jungle.)
Does it make you wanna cry, when you're loved one has to die? Does it hurt through and through, when your face is turning blue?
Well luckily for you! There's something we can do! We can help you keep them alive. So you can watch them thrive!
'Cause here at: C.H.E.R.U.B. We'll save your honeybun from dying violently.
'Cause here at: C.H.E.R.U.B. No, we never even ask a fee!
Because good people spread the love. And we're here for all above!
We do the paperwork for you. And the heavy lifting too!
So sit right back, and let us bless a soul for you!
Oh, we are the C.H.E.R.U.B.
Then the TV is blasted by the flintlock from Blitzo, and he does not look pleased at what he saw.
Lucy sighs. "Good, that was so annoying. Also, what the hell was that?"
"Don't care and don't give a shit! Mox! Give me another, and Delilah, get the other one ready!" yelled Blitzo. Moxxie places down another TV and Delilah has a ton of bodes filled with tons of TV's and all labeled cheap ass TV's, which are from what was left of Vox's TV warehouse, awesome!
Lincoln is still confused and so is Luna. 'C.H.E.R.U.B? What the heck? When did heaven had a bunch of cherubs come to stop folks from suicide, even though that does sound kinda good for most folks, but I don't think this is gonna be peachy keen. Just as long as we don't meet with those guys.'
Moxxie then changes the channel, and it shows 666 news. Blitzo then puts gunpowder into his flint lock. "No, I'm not feeling all pissed at those retards. Next!"
Moxxie switches the channel. Betty Boop appears in black and white, dancing erotically with prominent breasts, holding a pitchfork. Blitzo and Millie look bored, and even Loona. "Next one, dumbass. This one is as shitty as it fucking looks."
Moxxie switches the channel to something else and what they see is this demon named: Wally Wackford and the company he owns known as: Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea "Factory!" also, he seems very desperate about those who make stuff and making money out of it.
Lincoln is confused. "I don't quite get the motive of most sinners and demons in hell, they seem way too much into trying to start something and then fail." But then he recalls something. 'Chances these upstart business demons and sinners are trying since the fall of Valentino and Vox.'
Blitzo smirks. "Bingo!" He shoots the TV, and the bits and pieces fly around, which Loona knocks away. "Alright, load me another one."
Millie cheers. "Woo! You are on a roll, sir!"
Just then they see the drink on the table is vibrating and Loona along with her kids noticed this, Lincoln noticed from the vibrating of the windows. "Guys, do you feel that?"
Blitzo stops reloading his gun and looks around. "Oh shit, is that a hellshake?"
"There are no such things as a Hellshake, sir" said Moxxie. "Even if there is, we would've been alarmed by something like the whole cleansing day."
Blitzo grabs Moxxie and shakes him. "Stop being such a panicking, hysterical baby, Moxxie!" He throws Moxxie and the imp lands to the wall. "This is definitely a hellshake."
"That is not a thing" replied Lucy. "But something is coming, and it'll be here in three… Two… One."
Something breaks through the wall, and thus Moxxie is buried in the rubble, the object seems like a wrecking ball made up of black tubes, and then someone walks through the busted wall and looks to the assassin's crew. Also, Moxxie is stuck.
Who is this sinner?
Loopty Goopty: Fairly tall demon that primarily has a red color scheme, with a lighter red face, along with darker red horns and nose, which is prominently long, and a black handlebar mustache. He wears a black tophat with a neon green band on his head and a pair of acid green goggle with dark green swirls in the lenses and a black strap on his face.
His outfit consist of a black jumpsuit with a bright green neck piece, along with a bright green curve shape on his chest and stomach that reaches the groin. He also wears red gloves on his hands, bright green boots and a blood red cape. He also can be seen having black mechanical limbs with red outlines extending out of his back, kinda like Doctor Octopus.
The very presence of this being alarms them and the whole crew are now armed and dangerous.
Luna has her knife ready and is also wielding a pistol, Millie has an axe and Lucy has her dagger, Delilah grabs a sword and a SMG, and Lincoln and Loona are on all fours and growling.
The man grins and extends his metal contraptions in loops. "Do not be afraid, fellow demons and sinners." He even looks to the kids. "And those from whom I heard about."
They can tell that this guy is some weirdo sinner. Blitzo on the other hand is annoyed at what has become of the wall. "Please tell me that you got that insurance thing."
"Who are you and what the hell do you want?" asked Millie.
"Why the hell did you even punch through our wall?" asked Luna.
Loopty Goopty slides along the black loops before he does a villainous pose between the crew of I.M.P. "I'm Loopty Goopty!" He responds in a Singsong voice. "Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopish!"
Loona scoffs. "Could've just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing." Even Lincoln and Luna agree with her.
"I am eccentric, and must therefore do eccentric shit!" Loopty Goopty does a wavy dance. Blitzo sniffs him and flinches.
"Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?"
Lucy, Millie and Delilah help Moxxie out of the rubble. "He sure looks that way, and he also looks like one of those weirdo anti-hero folks located in Pentagram City" replied Lucy. Moxxie then falls out cold after being pulled from the debris.
Loopty then responds to Blitzo's question. "Yes! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me here!"
Loona and her kids then sit onto the chairs and watch this go down. "Just saying the front door would've gotten you here fine, instead of just busting through the wall, now we gotta fucking fix it."
"I'm kinda shocked that the manager isn't even here to notice this shit" said Luna. (Note: The manager is out of town for a while and will be back, in two days. So, they need to fix that before he gets back.)
"Shut up fellow simpletons!" said Loopty and then he looks towards Blitzo. "This is the man I'm gonna need you to kill!" He says in a singsong voice again, He holds up an old photo of an old bald man in a bed. Blitzo takes the photo from him.
"Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge? I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzo, the "o" is silent." Blitzo goes towards the sinner and he shakes hands with him.
Loopty is confused. "What "o"?"
Blitzo chuckles. "Aww, thanks. Now, what the fuck is your tea sis?"
Loopty is confused once more. "Tea?"
Lincoln then explains. "He means, what's the sole reason why you want him dead. What the heck did this old guy even do to you? Also, how did this old guy even do any wrong onto you?"
"He was…my business partner! You see, I was not always an old man." Loopty then begins to act all dramatic and tells them of the truth behind the cause of why he wants this man dead. "My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, a technological empire!"
"Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop or reverse the aging process! It could've saved all three trillionaires! Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius. The machine was accidentally set forward!"
"By the time we managed to get out, it was too late. At least, for me. Now that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire we built together without me to share it with him. He'll make all the god damn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire and get all the credit!"
Blitzo seems less than amused by this and so do the others, but they fail to see the uneasy and pissed off looks from Lincoln, Luna and Lucy. "Yeah, that's not really evil."
Why are they ticked off by this sinner and his words? He said they were supposed to test this on the poor. That draws the line for them, and even Loona can tell that shit's gonna go down, soon.
"Well, it is for me!" said Loopty. "Now get your wretched assassin-doing asses up above and send that thoughtless no-good son of a bitch to Hell where he belongs!"
Blitzo then goes to the guy. "Alright, listen Poopty-"
This makes Loopty seethe in anger from that misinterpret of his name. "Loopty!"
Blitzo holds up his hands. "Alright, Loopty. You should know, that if we do end up killing this guy, then he ends up in hell. With you, possibly forever."
Loopty snickers and he has tons of weapons on each of his black robotic tentacles. "Oh, Blitzo, I am so counting on that shit!"
Lincoln then realizes this. "Loopty, you don't want us to bring him to earth as an old man?"
"Of course not" replied Loopty. "I want a fight from him, and then I will be able to torture him for as long as I linger in this hellhole that I call my home!" He then prepares his leave. "So, I shall you all be to the business at hand, and I look forward to the whole accomplishment, too-da-loo."
They watch as he leaves through another hole he makes, and this infuriates Blitzo. "Someone fucking fix the walls, while I go and get some shit to arm up. Mills, Mox, kids, come on." Lucy follows her parents and they head with Blitzo.
Delilah looks to the walls. "Well, looks like it's all up to me." She then heads out of the meeting room to grab some stuff to fix this damage. But before Lincoln and Luna walk away from this, their mom Loona grabs them and speaks with them.
"Kids, I can tell that you guys, along with Lucy are not feeling chill about the words that asshole spoke, does this have something to do with the fact weirdo and the target experiment on the poor?"
Lincoln sighs. "That guess is as clear as day mom, and I know you won't like it when we have a plan to deal with both Loopty and Lyle, but everything he spoke is something we do not wanna attempt, but it makes sense to kill two birds with one stone."
Loona can tell that this is gonna get fucked up real fast, and because Blitzo and the others are not told about this. "Well, I guess this is something you guys wanna do." They then look to the damage of the walls. "And to the fact he didn't even fucking fix the damage."
"We know what to do mom, we can handle this with the others" said Luna.
Loona smiles and she hugs them both. "I know you guys will, go on ahead and go kill that old fart faced son of a bitch." The two kids hug her back, they then depart from the hug and leave the office to join the others.
Loona does have this bad feeling. 'I don't know why, but I got this odd case that someone, or a group might be involved in this shit too. They had better be careful, and I don't mean the other group. Nobody should underestimate what my pups can do.'
Then she gets a message from Vortex, about a party this month soon and so she leaves the meeting room to see what this is all about. Delilah walks back in and she has some construction stuff to fix the wall. "Well, time to get to work." Then she recalls something.
'Weird, that commercial earlier about those cherubs… They're weird commercials can reach hell?'
In the receptionist's office, the crew are armed and ready and Blitzo looks to all of them. "Alright, so we got what we need, right?"
They all nod. They got the weapons, they got the skills and the disguises so that no one else can know who they are, and thanks to the info from the back of the photo, they know where this old man lives.
Blitzo grins and his eyes glow. "Then let's go and fuck some shit, up!" Loona uses the book, and she watches as they all race through the portal, time to kill someone!
To be continued in the next chapter folks!
A/N: This is the first part, the second part is where the killing begins and the clash between I.M.P and C.H.E.R.U.B, and it will change everything from the episode it was all based off of. So, be ready for what comes next guys. Leave a review and tell me what you all think.
Also, I found out that there is no information on what C.H.E.R.U.B means, this is kinda odd and I thought they would've sorted out what it means, what about you guys? What do you think the acronym means? Besides literally sounding like the name of that said species.
Date made: 3/19/21 – 3/20/21.