Chapter 4: Comfort

Author: zeusfluff.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blue Bloods characters. They belong to CBS. But I do own a few originals. Date Started: 7/21/23. Date Finished: 7/22/23. Enjoy!

Jamie lie in bed next to Eddie running hand through her messy blonde locks. He loved watching her sleep. Even though they had turned the lights out and lie down for bed nearly four hours earlier, Jamie couldn't sleep. He was just too wound up. His brain was in overdrive, and he couldn't get himself to relax and go to sleep. He whispered into Eddie's ear even though she was fast asleep.

"I'd move the moon and the stars for you babe if I could. I wish I'd been a match to give you one of my kidney's. I hate seeing you in so much pain. I wish the doctors could figure out the cause of all this. Dad and I, we both talked. You are still on the job, but you won't be out on the street for a while. You'll have to go on desk duty. Now I already know what you're going to say: Being behind a desk sucks. So much paperwork and not enough action. I agree but there's an image that keeps going through my head that won't leave me alone. I keep seeing this huge guy 6 feet 8 inches just towering over you. You trying to get him into handcuffs, and I just see you getting hurt. Please don't be upset with me about this decision."

Eddie responded to Jamie's request in her sleep.

"Not upset. Thank-you…"

Jamie felt a weight come off his shoulders slightly. Even in the dark he found his eyes roaming over to a pallet size worth of boxes filled with Eddie's dialysis solution. That was just the solution. The apartment was filled with all her cleaning supplies and tubing as well. An iv-pole sat in the corner of the room. He whispered under his breath.

"Our apartment is becoming a regular hospital babe."

Jamie moved a bit in the bed and his hand brushed against some hard plastic. Grabbing for his flashlight, he turned it on, mindful not to shine the light in Eddie's face.

"Babe, you forgot to close the clamp on your catheter. Don't want the solution leaking out."

Jamie carefully reached over and clicked shut the small white plastic clamp. He found his fingers lightly grazing the large bandage over where the catheter was. He had to remember this was a permanent part of her until she got a new kidney. Rolling over onto his back, he fixed the blankets over Eddie and folded his arms behind his head. He stared up into the ceiling. In the darkness. Clearing his throat, he spoke up at the ceiling.

"Joe, if you can hear me up there, I could really use your help. As I'm sure you know by now, Eddie is very sick. She needs a new kidney. I guess what I'm asking is for your advice. I'm kind of lost here. I'm finding myself struggling to keep the 47 different medications she takes straight. I promised to take care of her in sickness and in health. I'm doing the best I can, but it's been hard sometimes. I have to be strong, for her…"

Jamie didn't realize Eddie had woken up and was listening to his whole conversation.

"Jamie… Are you ok?"

Wiping away a couple of tears, Jamie could feel Eddie move next to him. He felt a warm kiss to his neck and then down to his shoulder. Clearing his throat, he spoke.

"Eddie… I do appreciate you trying to comfort me but…"

Eddie sighed and lay her head against his chest.

"Let's just cuddle babe."

Curling up against Jamie, Eddie found herself relaxing. Wrapping his arms around Eddie, Jamie was careful of where he placed his arms. He heard her whimper, and he pulled her closer.

"What's wrong babe?"

Eddie tried to look into his eyes in the dark, she felt the tears of frustration falling down her cheeks.

"Jamie I really want to have a baby. Our baby."

Jamie sighed and kissed the top of Eddie's head. He was just as frustrated as she was about this situation, but they'd get through it.

"I know you do baby. I do too. But now is not the right time. Besides I don't want to hurt you. Right now, being that intimate would be painful. I don't want to put you through that. It wouldn't help either of us. Do you remember what your OB said to us when you first got sick? She said it would be too dangerous. That even if you were to get pregnant while going through this, it would take a miracle for the baby to get to full term. Be patient babe. We'll have a baby. When you're better."

This assuaged some of Eddie's fears and worries. Jamie found himself semi-rocking Eddie back to sleep. He found himself kissing her forehead. Listening to her even breathing, Jamie knew she was fast asleep. His right hand found her left cheek and wiped away the fading tear trail. He held in his own tears. He had to be strong. For her.

To Be Continued…

A/N: So, do you guys think Jamie should have made the decision by himself to have Eddie put on desk duty? Or do you think he should have discussed it with her first? Let me know! Thanks!