So, this is based off of the Casagrandes Episode called "Cursed!" and I also wanna thank to "Unity123" I added some of the stuff he had when he sent me the message of his idea. This is gonna be serious and might end up changing so much for the rest of the familia in the Casagrandes, and all because of one dumb fucking fortune telling asshole. Enjoy reading this new chapter folks!
Helluva Loud Adventures.
"The Cursed Dumbness."
(November 20. Great Lakes City.)
Right now, a portal from hell is opened and coming through is Lincoln, Loona, Luna, Moxxie, Millie, Lucy and EveLynn and they were called there because of a major problem by Ronnie Anne, and also there is Vaggie and she knows that if this is a Casagrande ordeal, then she is coming along as well.
They then head to the apartment building. "Dudes, this is so dumb and so messed up!" said Luna. "I mean, we have already dealt with this dumb superstition stuff, and it is so messed up and stupid."
EveLynn sighs as they are now close to the door of the apartment. "We can handle this, well I can handle this! I went through my own ways and I was a total messed up person. I am not letting this madness go..." The door opens and EveLynn is knocked away and she screams and falls into the trash cans, and this causes Moxxie and Millie to co and help her.
They then see, Rosa Casagrande and she is carrying all the luggage of the family. "Hurry, if we go to Royal Woods, then we can..." She then sees the Silva Hounds and all of them look ticked off. "What are you all doing here? The City is..."
"It is not bad luck, Senorita Rosa!" said Vaggie she looks furious. "This crud you're doing is insane and dumb! You're causing trouble here!"
"That's what we have been trying to tell her!" said Maria as she comes out, alongside Ronnie Anne, Bobby, Carl, CJ, Carlitos, Carlota, Carlos and Frida, oh and Hector and Lalo and then Sergio with a camera. "She has lost it!"
"I have not!" said Rosa. "I know what I am doing and if Ernesto Estrella says that our city is filled with so much bad luck, then we cannot be here anymore!"
"For the last time, Abuela!" yelled Carl. "We did all of that to make sure that there is no bad luck!"
Then CJ calls out. "We don't wanna leave, we wanted to show you that bad luck is not real!"
They then start arguing with Rosa and she tries to counter back and all of this is turned to madness and chaos and this is causing someone to get ticked off, and that person is Lincoln Silva Hound. "Oh for fucks sake." Lincoln then fires his pistols in the air and this startles everyone to take cover and hide. "Done?"
Everyone then gets out of cover. "Rosa Casagrande, this madness you're doing is almost as worse as the damned day I got into some bad luck, and you are making it harder for everyone to handle or even be calm, and all because of some dumbass, mother fucking, bitch faces shit head who does horoscopes."
They all gasp hearing this and Tio Carlos and Tia Frida cover the ears of Carl and CJ, and Sid from the balcony covers the ears of Adelaide and everyone sees what this is all about, and they don't even notice Mr. Scully there as well, and he wants to know what the heck is going on here.
Rosa is shocked by those words. "Lincoln! Such words! Do not say that in front of..."
"I'm going with my son over this, you crazy old bag!" said Loona and she looks ticked off as well. "You're believing in some superstitious nonsense that makes no sense and all caused by some greedy asshole on TV wearing a wig. You are letting superstition take over your life and ruining your family!"
The Casagrandes and Santiagos stand with them. "Yeah!"
Moxxie then speaks. "Curses and Bad luck is nothing more than some concept for people to believe, and if this place was cursed, then the medallions we have would've been glowing by now, but they haven't. These things don't just open portals, they sense curses and dark rituals."
Millie then talks. "We're from hell, so we know the fucking shit about curses and bad luck and all that evil witchcraft and nonsense, and you old lady with no sense of a brain, have no clue what the fuck you are doing."
Lucy then talks. "You have nothing else to prove about the dark arts and what they can do. Heck, I can do things far better than that old man named Ernesto of the dead stars, hell I could curse him to suck his dick for all of eternity and curse him to walk till his feet bleed."
Vaggie then speaks. "Luck is something I have seen, and another reason why back when I was alive, we lost my uncle and auntie, they were so paranoid by luck that they made us into messes and we made sure they never came back into the family I once had. We outcasted them, and you might end up joining them!"
Luna growls at Rosa. "You are nothing more than some dumb old lady who doesn't even know when to listen to her family, and that just reminds me of the bastard life we have, and you have become the total embodiment of the old Lynn Loud Jr!"
Rosa is surprised to hear this, and she is about to protest, but then EveLynn tackles her and the 14 year old begins to beat the living shit out of Rosa Casagrande, and the old woman tries to get her off, but EveLynn seems stronger and she is literally delivering the hurt on this old lady.
The Casagrandes all want to come over and help, but they are blocked by the Silva Hounds, and even Moxxie, Millie and Lucy block them. While Vaggie watches this go down, and she sighs. 'This woman reminds me of my own grandma, but my grandmamma would never be this serious with superstitious bullshit.'
The only ones not responding to this, are Ronnie Anne, Bobby and Maria, even though Bobby sees this is wrong, she knows that his Abuela was trying to make things hard for them and through some dumb horoscope stuff.
While this shit is going down, hey don't notice someone is there who came through the portal, and that someone is Velvet and she smiles at this ordeal happening. "Hey, guys. I found the fake horoscope asshole."
They see the tour bus, with the logo of the man from the local TV, and they know who he is.
Ernesto Estrella.
A man who is a TV Fortune Telling expert, but he is a total faker. He is a tanned man with short blonde hair, a black eyelash on each eye, and dark pink lips. He wears a male fortune teller robe with a shiny diamond in the center, and wears rings on his fingers.
The sight of that man is enough to make them gasp, well not everyone, but Rosa is surprised and Lincoln smirks. "Good job there, Velvet. The second plan worked, and now... time to get this asshole out in the mother fucking open!"
Lincoln then has his gloved claws ready, and he fires his claws and they break the door open, and he pulls them and the door is removed clean and hard, and then they see the man slowly peek. "Hey! Either you get the hell outta here, or I will make a god damn request for you to die, by my claws!"
Ernesto then gets out and he tries to be himself. "Hello and Greeting Great Lakes City, it is good to..."
"What the hell is that?!" They all see what is on his forehead. They all see the large pimple.
Ernesto sighs. "Yeah, this is the reason why I did not come to the city, because of this pimple!" He then goes to his knees and pretends to sob.
"Wow. Smooth move, asshole. Now everyone knows." Loona has her phone recording. "We got this shit live stream, congrats you suck."
Ernesto sees this and sees everyone looking towards him, and they are also fans of what he does, then Velvet pokes him with her spear. "So, anything else to say Mr. Faker? I mean, if you wanna be in horoscope, we can kill ya on the spot and send you to hell."
Ernesto was now afraid and so he has no choice. "I am... I Ernesto Estrella..." He sighs. "I am a fake, I am not a real horoscope person, and it's all just for show. I didn't think someone like that old hag would be taking me too seriously! The whole thing is for show, it is not real!"
"I just... I didn't think what I did was going to end up like this..." EveLynn then gets off and let's Ernesto Estrella walk towards Rosa and she is trying to figure out what he just said. "Rosa Casagrande, you took what I said too seriously and I shouldn't have done this. This is all my fault..."
"It is all your fault Bobo!" They all yell to him in anger, and then Hector throws an egg at him.
Ernesto sighs. "Well, I should be going. Judging by the faces of everyone, I don't think I am welcome here anymore..."
"I believe you're show is over, soon." Loona then shows her phone. "Got a lot of folks commenting about the shit you admitted and the dumb fucking lies you are spreading and how far you're show has made others paranoid and crazy." She then looks to Moxxie. "Any suggestions to Rosa?"
Moxxie thinks. "Chances, because of her ability to be paranoid and delusional into believing bad luck and curses too much, then she would have to attend an asylum and they would need to try and get her head back in shape. But if she wants a curse, Velvet can do that... Or Alastor."
Velvet grins and she removes her jacket and she has tons of potions. "Which cursed potion do you want? Hunger? Drought? Poison? Acid Rain? Blood in the sewers? Death to animals? Locust Swarm? All of this is made by me, because I ain't no sinner... I am also a mistress at potions and curses! Or cursed potions!" Velvet snickers and chuckles evilly.
This causes Ernesto to run to his bus and he drives off, but then Lincoln uses his medallion and he is sent someplace else. "Have fun being lost in Death Valley Nevada. Dumb fucker." He then sees that everyone is walking away and talking about what Rosa did, and then he looks to Ronnie Anne. "You okay?"
Ronnie Anne nods. "Thanks, and that was pretty impressive bringing that idiot here, my Abuelo was right... Ernesto Estrella is one big fat and ugly bobo." She then sighs. "I am also thinking about us being here..." This surprises Maria and Bobby. "Because I can see that with the whole dumb superstition thing, makes me recall the day we moved here and how crazy it all gets."
Bobby then asks. "Wait, Ronnie Anne... You want us to move back to Royal Woods?"
Sid then comes down and hugs her. "If you're going to Royal Woods, then I am too!"
Ronnie Anne then hugs her special gal. "I'm thinking about it, I still have to sort out this madness that my crazy old Abuela did. This is all madness, craziness and Sergio didn't help either."
"Wait, what?!" EveLynn looks to the parrot and so do the others and they all look to him sternly.
"What? I did it to be famous and..." But then Sergio's camera is shot by Moxxie. "Hey! That was..." but then he's grabbed by the demonic wyvern Edmund and then he throws the parrot to the ground and then Vark comes in and pins the parrot and roars to his face and shows off his mouth filled with more than 1,000 teeth and this drains the color from Sergio.
Loona then goes to the parrot. "Dumb fucking, stupid ass, bird who should've been dead by now." She then picks up the parrot and throws him into the trash can. "He's better off dead in the garbage can, like some pest from the back of the Chinese fucking restaurant."
Rosa then goes to her family. "Everyone I am..."
"Not going to hear it, mama." Carlos along with Frida and their kids go back inside and look annoyed and angered, and then Maria, Ronnie Anne and Bobby walk back inside alongside Lalo who growls at her, and Rosa has never faced that from Lalo before. Rosa then sees her husband, he sighs and just ignores her and walks inside.
"Mrs. Casagrande..." Rosa turns around and sees Mr. Scully. "You and I are gonna have a serious talk about this superstitious ways of yours, and because of this I have another reason to install cameras into the apartment."
"Allow me to help you sir" said Moxxie. "We could request one of our closest allies to make you some cameras that are strong, durable cannot be hacked and no need to pay for them."
This makes Mr. Scully smile. "Now that is a good deal, thanks little imp." He then walks back into the apartment, alongside a messed up Rosa, who now sees her mistake with superstition.
"Hey, Rosa!" The Casagrande woman turns around and sees a very angry Vaggie. "La próxima vez que vuelva aquà y se trate de que eres una superstición idiota, me aseguraré de que vas a sufrir mucho más allá del significado de la muerte. Porque este dÃa será marcado y recordado como el dÃa en que Rosa Casagrande fue el chiste más grande y patético para toda la familia Casagrande!"
The others the open the portal back to hell and they go through and leave Rosa to think about what Vaggie had just said. Rosa Casagrande has a lot to fix, and one of them is her familia.
To be continued in the next chapter folks!
A/N: And that is how you do it, comrades! Thank you to "Unity123" that I added some of the stud you had for an idea, and it looks like Rosa will have to make it up to them for her dumbass actions of believing in some dumb fucking bad luck! Leave a review and tell me what you all think of this folks!
This is what Vaggie said:
"The next time I come back here and it is about you're dumbass superstition, then I will make sure you are going to suffer far beyond the meaning of death. Because this day will be marked and remembered as the day Rosa Casagrande was the biggest and pathetic joke for the whole Casagrande family!"
Date made: 9/20/21 – 9/21/21.