A/N This is based on a James episode, so he tells it.

Hey, it's me, James and this time I shall tell about a time I was feeling cheeky.

I'm a mixed traffic engine. I can pull both freight cars and coaches. I'm proud of my smart red paint and so was Driver, meaning the one I had when this story happened.

"Everyone says you brighten up their day, James." That's what Driver's words were that time.

One morning, I whistled loudly at the other engines. "Look at me! I am the smartest, most useful engine on the line!"

"Rubbish!" replied Thomas. "We're all useful. Sir Topham Hatt says so and he's head of the whole railway."

"You know what, James?" added Percy.

"What?" I replied.

"You're getting all puffed up" That little engine annoyed me.

I huffed away. Later, I was still boasting.

"I'm the pride of the line."

"I saw you pulling freight cars," snorted Gordon. "You're only a goods engine."

"I pull coaches, too." Maybe I had some goods to pull that time, but I can pull coaches, so I'm a mixed-traffic engine. Gordon was just being rude, as he's been known to.

"Not as much as I do."

"But Sir Topham Hatt has plans for me." I was only making this up, but Gordon believed me.

"What plans?" Gordon's reply made it clear I tricked my friend. I can be cheeky when the mood strikes.

"Uh, wait and see." Oh, dear, I thought. Now what'll I do?

Thomas was shunting shiny new coaches. I decided I could use them to prove I was more than a goods engine and could pull coaches.

"Good morning, James."

"Are those coaches for me?" I asked hopefully.

"No, these are for Gordon's Express. I'll fetch your freight cars next."

But I was going to play a trick on the other engines. I'm a splendid red engine and my shiny coat of paint would look so good with those coaches, I thought.

"Actually, Thomas, I'm taking the coaches. Sir Topham Hatt asked me to tell you."

"What about the cars?" asked Thomas.

"Uh, give them to Gordon." Gordon may not like goods work, but I quite dislike it even more. My first goods train as an official NWR engine derailed me, I thought. Goods work reminded me of my accident.

"Come on, Thomas," said his driver. "Orders are orders.

So when Driver returned, I was coupled to the coaches and I puffed away. Thomas returned with the freight cars. And a few minutes later, Gordon arrived.

"Where's the Express?"

Thomas told him about me.

"And so here are your cars."

Gordon was very cross and so was his driver.

"ait'll Sir Topham Hatt hears about this." I heard about this later.

Meanwhile, I was enjoying myself enormously.

"What a clever plan! What a clever plan!" I chuffed.

Then, I saw Sir Topham Hatt. My mood changed then.

"Some jokes are funny, James, but not this one, James. You have caused confusion."

"Yes, Sir," I said.

"You will now stay in your shed until you are wanted."

The other engines teased me. Us engines often tease each other about our scrapes.

"i wonder who'd be pulling the Express today?" said Gordon

"I expect it will be you," replied Henry. "James is stuck in the shed for being silly."

I felt sad. Being stuck in the shed meant no could see my red paint and I couldn't be a Really Useful Engine. Thomas says we should always try to that way. Next morning, I went back to work.

"Hello," whistled Thomas. "Good to see you out and about again."

"I'm sorry I tricked you," I said. "Are these my cars?"

"Yes," replied Thomas kindly. "They're pleased to have you back." He's always had a good heart, even with how cheeky he's been known to be.

I set off to the harbor with my train of freight cars. I bustled about all day pushing and pulling them into place.

"Time to go home now, James," said Driver. "No cars or passengers. Just we two." He was referring to himself and my fireman, as they were the only ones with me.

But Driver was wrong.

"Excuse me," called a man. "I have a meeting with Sir Topham Hatt and I mustn't be late. May I ride back with you?"

"Of course," replied Driver.

Then he whispered something to me.

"This gentleman is a railway inspector."

I was most impressed. I steamed along the line as smoothly and quickly as I could. Sir Topham Hatt was waiting on the platform and the railway inspector greeted him warmly.

"This clever engine gave me a splendid ride. You must be proud of him."

"Yes, indeed. Once again, you are a Really Useful Engine." I was happy to hear that, as any of us engines are.

A/N Respect my English. I'm not British, they are, so I use my dialect when I feel the need for my comfort. But I try to use their dialect as best I can.