Cartman's Rampage
By Shadowgate
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Rampage 2017 AD Battle in the Cyber Age
A new video game was released. It has some killer graphics. A giant gorilla that looks like King Kong. A huge green monster who battles against the gorilla and yes he does look like Godzilla (not that anyone didn't guess that) and it has UFO's and the National Guard. A battle in any city will have traffic jams, police on the scene, and the buildings always get fucked up.
Cartman told Stan, Kyle, and Kenny about the game three days ago when it came out.
Stan said he didn't want to blow $25.99 on it. He wanted to save the money but "it looks kind of cool but I'm not super excited." Cartman was a bit disappointed Stan didn't want to get the game. Kenny told Cartman "when you get it I'll be happy to try out the new video game with the gorilla and the giant lizard monster that looks like your mom I mean Godzilla so invite me over when you get it."
Cartman replied "well duh Kenny we all know you will have to play it at one of our houses and Stan's house is no longer an option. Kyle buy it dude then we can hook up and play against each other."
Kyle said "yeah dude I want to buy it I think it looks cool."
Cartman smiled. Stan said "well three days from now Kenny will visit your house Cartman you need to know that Kenny loves to visit my house way more than your house right Kenny?"
Kenny responded "right" and Cartman responded "that's because Kenny likes your mom Stan. She turns him on."
Stan said "fuck you Cartman."
Today was the day. Cartman got the new Rampage Videogame on his computer as quickly as he could. After it was uploaded and ready to go he called Kyle.
Kyle heard his cellphone playing "Maniac" and he answered. Cartman asked him "are you ready to hook up and rumble you sissy Jew boy?"
Kyle replied "I got Rampage on my computer and I'm going to tear your fat ass apart you motherfucker."
Kyle and Cartman connected under screen player names.
Kyle was K-Crusher22.
Cartman was EC23.
They both made cyber contact and then they started up the battle. Cartman was the big gorilla and Kyle was the big green scaly monster.
They did battle in downtown New York City in front of the Empire State Building.
Kyle won leaving fatass pissed off and wanting a rematch.
The next battle took place in downtown Los Angeles. The scenery was damaged like Los Angeles after the 1992 riots.
Cartman lost the second match because Kyle put up a hard fight. Cartman started to get pissed off. He heard his phone ring and he answered it. It was Kyle and he asked Cartman if he wanted to surrender like a little bitch to which Cartman yelled "fuck you Kyle you cocksucking asshole!"
Cartman took a deep breath and hung up the phone. After seven more matches Cartman was holding back tears from the frustration.
Cartman's phone rang again. He picked up his cellphone and said "hello" and Kyle responded "Cartman are you even trying? I can't believe I beat you 9 times in a row."
Cartman took a deep breath and said "let's have our tenth game and if I can win that I will show gratitude."
Kyle laughed and Cartman asked angrily "you don't think I can win the tenth game?"
Kyle answered "I think you could win the tenth game but that part about you showing gratitude. I had to laugh."
Cartman said "let's have our 10'th game."
Cartman and Kyle have their 10'Th rematch and this time Cartman delivers major blows to Kyle.
Kyle fights back hard but after a while it becomes obvious that Cartman will win the tenth match.
All of the sudden Mysterion comes in and slams Cartman. Cartman lost the tenth match.
Cartman screamed "what the fuck!" Cartman became tense and yelled super loud. He heard his phone ring. It was Stan. He picked up the phone and answered "what the fuck do you want Stan? I just got fucked big time and I'm super pissed off."
Stan said "I know Kenny is over here and we have the Rampage game. Kenny played it from my house and caused you to lose that 10'Th victory against Kyle. Have a nice day fat ass."
Cartman was so devastated he cried. Later that evening he met up with Heidi. He told her he had a really bad day. She said "well there's a nice carnival in town. Would you like to ride the Ferris wheel?"
Cartman smiled and said "yes." When they got on the Ferris wheel Heidi put her arm around him and he fell asleep.
The End