Epilogue 5: Marathon

Part 1 (Hisao)

One of the first things we did after getting married was to get the adoption process started. We filled the application out online while we were on our honeymoon. It can take some serious time to move through the system, and we aren't getting any younger. We would have started even sooner, but you have to be married or they won't even consider your application.

The whole process is a huge pain, too. We have to show how much money we make, write about our education and our jobs, show we own a home, and on and on. I understand why they need these things when screening adoptive parents, but it doesn't make the process less tedious and frustrating.

We also found that the fact we haven't been married that long might end up pushing us further down the list, in favor of couples who have been together longer. That was a little disheartening. But that's my fault for taking so long to marry Emi.

All we can do now is wait.

—-

It's only been six months since we sent our adoption application in. We heard we may not hear anything for up to 18 months, so it came as quite the surprise when we got called for an interview. A social worker is coming to talk to us today. We are nervous, to say the least. Emi seems even more nervous than me. She's pacing through the house and trying to touch up any little spot she thinks might be dirty.

"Do you think the bathroom is clean enough? Should we clean it again?"

I laugh, "If we clean it any more the tile is going to start coming up. Plus, she will be here in 30 minutes. I don't think there's anything we can do in that amount of time. But the house looks great, you look great, and we are going to do our best."

Emi is wearing a cute ankle-length blue dress that is very conservative for her. She bought it specifically for this occasion. She says it is 'maternal.' I don't know about all that, but she definitely looks good in it.

"I know, but there is so much riding on this. If she hates us, we may never get a child."

She isn't entirely wrong there.

"That's true. But why would she hate us?"

I pat on my lap for Emi to come crawl on me how she likes to. She obliges and we look into each other's eyes.

"This is definitely scary. I'm scared. But we're great, okay? We're going to get a kid just by being ourselves."

She sighs. "I hope you're right. But I need to be doingsomething right now or I am going to lose my mind waiting. I can't even relax in your lap right now."

Wow, she must really be anxious.

She climbs out of my lap.

"I'm going to make sure we have fresh tea and coffee, and plenty of cold drink options too. And I will also prepare a variety of quick snacks so that she can have pretty much anything she wants."

"Okay I'll come help."

—-

There's a knock at the door. We go to the door and open it together to welcome our guest. When we open the door, we find a short woman in her 50s, wearing a black skirt and blazer over a white button-down shirt. She has dark shoulder length hair and wears a pair of black-framed glasses. She looks rather unassuming, overall.

"The Nakais I presume? I am Ms. Yamaguchi. I am here to evaluate you for adoption."

Emi responds, "Yes, please come in and have a seat. Did you have a long drive here today? Is there anything I can do for you? Would you like something to eat or drink?"

Sometimes when Emi is nervous she becomes overly polite and peppers people with questions about how she can serve them. In this case, it might actually be beneficial.

Ms. Yamaguchi takes a seat in a chair in the living room that sits opposite the couch. I can't detect an ounce of emotion on her face.

"Yes, I will take some cold water If you have it."

Emi nods dutifully and goes to the kitchen to get her water.

I take a seat on the couch and Ms. Yamaguchi's eyes fix themselves on me.

"You two have a lovely home. I haven't been to this town before. It is quite quaint."

I nod. "Yes, we like it here. We both went to high school up the hill and liked the town back then. So, we were pretty excited about getting to live here."

Emi returns and gives the social worker some cold water. Ms. Yamaguchi thanks her and takes a sip. Then, she gets out a large folder and a pen. I guess things are getting very real now.

Emi comes and sits next to me on the couch. She reaches out for my hand and I give it to her.

"I apologize for immediately diving into this, but I'm on a tight schedule. Do you two mind if I ask you a few questions?"

I smile, "Of course not. That's what you're here for right?"

She nods. "So, you two have only been married less than a year, but you went to high school together? Have you been together all this time?"

Emi takes the lead on this one.

"No, we were just friends back then. We started dating after we both got jobs at our alma mater. We've been together for five years."

The social worker nods and writes something down.

"Mr. Nakai, I see here that this isn't your first marriage. Can you tell me why your first marriage ended?"

Is she…serious? It is clear from what we sent in that Saki passed away. It annoyed me a little that I had to write about that in our application. Did she not actually read our application or is this some sort of test? I am only brought out of my head when Emi squeezes my hand and smiles at me. She knows exactly what I'm thinking. I'm just going to answer this as directly and unemotionally as I possibly can.

"My first wife died."

Ms. Yamaguchi nods as if I just told her something incredibly boring, scratches something down, and continues.

"Why are you two choosing to adopt?"

"I have a heart condition that has a genetic component, and we didn't want to pass it on to our child."

She nods again. Is this woman truly this emotionless? Or is this some sort of mask she wears so as not to indicate to people what she is thinking?

"Why do you two want to have a child?"

Emi takes the lead on this one.

"Well, like any couple I suppose, we love each other very much and we want to raise a child together. We want to help this child find their way in the world and make a positive impact on it."

She nods.

"Would both of you continue working if you had a child?"

This one is something we have talked about. Emi responds.

"I would stop working until the child was ready for school."

"And your income alone would be enough, Mr. Nakai?"

"Yes. We have also been saving money for this."

Yet another mechanical nod.

Suddenly, she brightens up ever so slightly. From what I've seen of her so far, it is equivalent to a 1000-watt smile. "You two had quite an unusual request on your application. One that we haven't really seen before. Is it correct that you two would be interested in adopting a child with a disability?"

We say "Yes" in perfect unison.

"Can you tell me a bit more about that? Why would you be interested in taking on such a challenge?"

I take the lead on this one.

"We're actually both disabled ourselves. As I mentioned earlier, I have a heart condition."

Emi gestures towards her prosthetic legs. "And I'm a below-the-knee amputee."

"Right. We also both work at Yamaku, a high school for disabled students – it's where we met. Emi was actually the one who came up with the idea, how did you put it?"

"Well, I just felt that there probably aren't two better people out there when it comes to raising a child with a disability thanks to our experience. So, we decided we were open to that."

Ms. Yamaguchi nods, this time with the slightest hint of a smile on her face.

"Mr. Nakai, may I ask how your health is?"

I figured this would come up, so luckily this one doesn't catch me off guard.

"It is quite good. I have a pacemaker and I take care of myself with nutrition and exercise. My doctor says my heart is in great condition, especially for someone with arrhythmia."

Now she's back to her emotionless nod.

"So, there isn't any extra risk of you passing away and leaving behind your wife and your potential child?"

Okay, I wasn't prepared for that. Although I should have been. Emi smiles at me and squeezes my hand.

"There is…some risk that could happen. My condition isn't always entirely predictable. So, the risk is…somewhat higher than a normal man my age."

Another emotionless nod followed by her scratching something down. I wish I could tell what this woman was thinking. A minute ago I thought we had won her over, but now I'm not so sure.

"In the event you did adopt a disabled child, would you be prepared for potential medical costs?"

Emi nods. "Yes, I think so. We have saved enough money over the last few years because we knew we wanted to do this."

She nods again.

"How much experience do you two have with children?"

This is one of the questions I was most worried about, but I think we have a good enough answer.

"Admittedly, our experience with children younger than high school age is somewhat limited. One of our friends recently had a baby and we've been getting some practice in that way."

Emi smiles and adds "We are also reading as much as we can about it and are doing everything we possibly can to be prepared."

She nods again. "Would you mind if I look around your lovely home?"

Emi smiles, "Not at all. I can give you the tour."

The social worker stands up with her pen and folder.

"Actually, I would prefer to look around on my own. I will let you know if I have any questions."

Emi looks a little put out by this, but I only think I can tell because I know her so well.

Before long, the social worker is looking at our second bedroom. We've already been in the process of getting it ready for a child, though because we don't know the potential child's age, we haven't gotten anything that might only be good for an infant yet.

"This would be the child's room?"

"Yes, we've been getting it ready. Once we know more, we'll be able to finish."

She nods and spends some significant time looking around the room, before moving on to the kitchen.

"You two will need to do some things to make the house safer for a child. Especially in the kitchen."

Emi nods, "Yes, we've thought about that. We plan on baby-proofing things to make it safe."

Ms. Yamaguchi seems as satisfied with that answer as she is with any of them.

Eventually after she's looked through the whole house and scratching things down on paper without saying much, she ends up back in the living room, near the front door.

"Well, I must be going. Thank you both for showing me your hospitality today. You should be hearing something from our office soon."

Both of us are a little put out by this abrupt exit, especially because we have no idea how we did. Emi makes a valiant effort to get her to stay a little longer.

"Oh…would you like anything to eat or drink before you go?"

"No thank you. Goodbye." She takes a few steps towards the door before stopping in her tracks. She stays that way for so long that I start to worry something is wrong.

But then she turns back to us and looks like a completely different person. She has a wide smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes.

"It was lovely meeting you both. Thank you for welcoming me into your home. I want to tell you that I will be highly recommending you two for adoption. This…isn't normally something I would tell you face to face. Normally I do everything I can not to show how I'm thinking about things during this process. But I wanted to let you know this now, because I can see how badly you two want a child."

I smile broadly and Emi looks absolutely elated and is bouncing up and down a little bit. For a moment I think she's going to tackle-hug the social worker, but luckily, she manages to contain herself.

"It doesn't guarantee anything, mind you, and it will probably take a while. But in my eyes, you will make excellent parents. I especially appreciate your willingness to adopt a disabled child. Almost all of them never leave the system and end up being wards of the state until adulthood. It is not a great way to start out life."

Suddenly, I'm reminded of Hanako. That's exactly the situation she found herself in. She certainly had a hard time. Strange that I hadn't really thought about her before in this process.

Emi tentatively takes a step towards the social worker before taking a step back and asking, "Can I…hug you? Would that be okay?"

Ms. Yamaguchi laughs and stretches out her arms, "Yes, you may."

The two hug, and I can see tears starting to form in Emi's eyes.

I smile at them, "As you can see, we're very happy you think we'll make good parents."

Emi releases her from her hug and returns to my side.

"Yes, I can see that you two are more than ready. I will do my best. Unfortunately, I must be going. I hope you two receive a call soon."

Emi wipes a tear off her cheek. "Thanks for everything. Have a pleasant drive home."

After Ms. Yamaguchi leaves, Emi turns around and jumps as high as she can in her regular prosthetics. I catch her and pull her up for a kiss, while she puts her arms around my neck.

"We're going to have a FREAKING CHILD, Hisao!"

I smile at her, "It's probably going to take a while. Good thing you're so used to being patient."

—-

Part 2 (Emi)

We're on the train on our way to Tokyo to meet with the adoption agency. It's been about nine months since they approved us, and it has been an agonizingly long wait for things to move forward. We've spent the time getting jittery every time a phone rings because we're both so excited. Finally, last week, we got the call we had been waiting for.

A little girl was born with a medical condition and her young single mother chose to give her up for adoption because she didn't have the means to care for her. She's one month old now, and we're going to hear about her condition today and meet her tomorrow. They wouldn't tell us much more on the phone.

Both of us are anxiously waiting for this long train ride to be over. We've tried to distract ourselves and one another, but it isn't working so well. Hisao can't read, and I can't doze, so I know we aren't our normal selves. So, I guess I'm just going to lean into this.

"Have you thought at all about names you would want to give a child?"

Hisao shakes his head. "Not too much, actually. I sort of thought since we're adopting, I probably shouldn't get too hung up on that. Especially if we adopted a kid who already has a name that they answer to."

"Yeah, that's why I haven't really brought it up. But now that we know about this little girl who is only a month old, we could think about some girl names." I smile, "What about Chisato? She told me we should name a kid after her."

We both giggle uncontrollably, attracting some stairs. I guess our amped up anxiety has made our laughs sound creepy.

"The funny thing is, it was probably a joke, but she would love it if we did that."

We continue to talk about some of the names we like for the rest of the train ride, and it did speed things up a bit.

—-

We're sitting in a sterile-looking room waiting to meet with the adoption agency's chief physician. Normally this wouldn't be who we meet with first, but he's going to tell us about this little girl's condition. We're very anxious to find out what it might be. We've been waiting for a while, as one often does at a doctor's office, but eventually he arrives.

He knocks on the door and sticks his head in. "Are you the Nakais?"

We answer in the affirmative and he steps all the way through the door and takes a seat on a stool across from the bench we're sitting on.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Takagi. I'm here to tell you about one of the children who is currently in the orphanage."

Hisao answers, "Yes, we're looking forward to finding out more. All we know so far is her age and sex. But we understand she also has a condition?"

He nods somewhat solemnly.

"Yes, she has a genetic disorder called Ehler-Danlos Syndrome. It affects her connective tissues. In her case, this mostly means her joints. It was evident at birth because her joints are so hypermobile. Her shoulder and wrist got dislocated during the birthing process, which is quite rare. She also has scoliosis."

I know a fair bit about joint dislocation from my work, especially how painful it can be. That poor baby was introduced to life by what had to be excruciating pain. I look over at Hisao and see a look of deep concern on his face. To me, it sounds distinctly different from Saki's ataxia, but it is just similar enough that there's no way he isn't thinking of an important question. I don't think he can bring himself to ask it, so I will.

"Is it…a degenerative condition?" Hisao thanks me with his eyes.

"Thankfully, no. It isn't fatal and it won't really get worse. However, she is going to have challenges in her life because of her condition. She'll have chronic pain in her joints." He grimaces, "Unfortunately, based on how frequently she cries, she is probably already experiencing it. Her joints will also regularly become dislocated just doing daily things. Dislocations aren't especially dangerous but they are extremely painful. Getting them back in place can be difficult and potentially even more painful than the dislocation itself. She will also be at higher risk of a variety of issues, including developing arthritis when she is quite young as a result of all the extra stress on her joints."

Hisao looks more relaxed now, though I wouldn't say that all the concern has left his face. For me at least, this seems like a challenge I can handle.

"I…happen to be a physical therapist, so I actually know quite well how to put joints back in place, though I don't have much experience doing it with an infant."

The doctor raises his eyebrows and nods approvingly.

"Oh, that will likely serve you quite well if you do adopt her. I was going to say that physical therapy will be crucial when she's older, because it can help her have fewer dislocations. Her scoliosis is probably treatable. She'll have to wear a back brace and things, but that aspect of her condition will probably be treatable. As far as her joints go, though, I'm afraid it will be a lifelong struggle. There's no treatment that will solve her problem entirely."

Hisao responds, "I don't know if they told you, but we both have disabilities. While we don't have the same one as this little girl, we do know a little something about having a lifelong struggle with our own bodies."

Based on the doctor's face, they definitely did not tell him that.

"Well…okay then you two are particularly well-suited to the challenge." He chuckles. "I don't suppose you're also a doctor who specializes in Ehler-Danlos Syndrome?"

Hisao laughs, "Unfortunately not. Just a science teacher."

The doctor chuckles, "Well, even so. One parent is a physical therapist and you both know what it is like to be disabled. I'm not sure there are two better people out there to adopt a child like this one."

I giggle, "That's what I've been saying since we decided we might adopt a disabled child. It is nice to hear it confirmed by a doctor."

He smiles and nods. "Well, do you have any more questions for me?"

We look at each other and then Hisao answers the question.

"I don't think so. We have a meeting tomorrow with the adoption agency to meet her. We'll have to think about this. Thanks for all the information."

He nods and stands up, "Well, it was lovely meeting you both. Good luck."

—-

Now we're over at Chisato and Mitsuru's place. We just finished eating take out and now we're talking everything out with them as we try to decide whether we want to adopt this little girl. I've already made it clear that I'm leaning towards saying 'yes' barring something really going wrong tomorrow. Hisao seems to be a little bit more uncertain and it's a little frustrating. Chisato and Mitsuru also both seem to think we should pull the trigger.

"So, why exactly are you on the fence about this, Hisao?" asks Mitsuru.

He sighs. "I don't know. I know we decided that we might want to adopt a child with a disability, but now that the choice is here, I'm struggling with it. I'm really worried about it. Do I want to have a daughter who has all these extra struggles in life? Do I want a daughter who is constantly in pain? I just know it's going to be hard."

"Well…you know Hisao, whether we adopt her or not, this little girl will still be going through all of this. Just…not with us to help her." My voice came out sounding a little more frustrated than I meant to.

He sighs and looks a little ashamed, "Yeah. I know. I guess I sound pretty awful, huh?"

Chisato puts a hand on his shoulder, "You're not awful. I get what you're saying. Maybe having a child who doesn't have those extra hurdles in life would be…easier. I would be lying if I said I'm not relieved that Daisuke hasn't inherited my diabetes or Mitsuru's hearing. We were ready to face the challenge if things went that way. But we hoped throughout everything that we wouldn't have to."

"Yeah…" Hisao runs his hand through his hair while he's lost in thought for a long moment.

"But if Daisuke did have any issues, you would have loved him and done everything you could for him, right?"

Mitsuru responds, "Well…yeah, of course."

Hisao thinks again for several moments with his brow furrowed.

"I know it isn't exactly the same, since we aren't having the baby ourselves, and we aren't saying we'll accept her whether or not she's born with a disability, since she has already been born with one. But...maybe it isn't that different? We are being presented with an opportunity to have a child, just like you guys were when Chisato got pregnant."

He looks at me and then grabs my hand. I smile at him because I think I can see where this is going. Thank goodness.

"So, maybe we should just accept what the outcome of this opportunity is, just like you two did. It's a little girl that we get to raise and love."

I squeeze his hand.

"That means you're thinking 'yes' too now, right?"

He nods. "I'm sure there will be hard days because of her condition. But I do think it's a challenge we can handle, and we get what we've wanted for so long: a child to raise together."

I pull Hisao down for a gentle kiss and Chisato breaks into mock applause.

"Well, good. At least you are on the same page about this now. So, you will meet her tomorrow, right?"

I nod, "Yep, we get to see her. I'm sure she's freaking adorable. If we do say yes, there will still be a little while before we get her. At least a month or so while custody is transferred and all that nonsense."

Chisato smiles warmly at us, "Well, it sounds like you two might have a daughter very soon."

I already had thought of this of course but hearing the word "daughter" out loud does slightly freak me out. I'm going to be…a mother? I guess I really am a grown up.

While I'm lost in thought about this development, Mitsuru asks, "Have you guys thought about names at all?"

Hisao nods. "We actually talked about it on the train ride here today, so we have a few we are considering."

"I have an idea for her name."

"My God, Chisato, I was joking when I said we would name a kid after you."

She only smiles halfheartedly, and it gives me pause. She normally gets a silly smile on her face when I tease her. Things are about to get serious, which I didn't really expect in a conversation about names for a little girl.

"I know, that's…not what I had in mind. Me and Mitsuru were thinking if we had a girl, we would have named her Kayoko. But we didn't, and we aren't having any more kids. So, I just thought I would suggest it for you two to think about, since you might have a daughter."

Kayoko? The name is really pretty. But it also sounds very familiar to me, yet I can't place it. It clearly means something to these three, based on their serious faces. Where have I heard it before? Just as I am about to ask, Hisao jogs my memory.

"I guess you were in the same class as her during your first year at Yamaku, huh Emi? I never actually met her. She had already been gone for two years when I got there."

Oh. That Kayoko. She was in my class. She died during our first year. I can't believe I forgot about her. I probably blocked that out, given all my issues with losing people. Actually coping with one of my classmates dying would not have gone very well for 17-year-old Emi.

I nod, "I knew her a little."

Hisao explains further, "She was really close with Saki and Chisato. They were in band together. During that first year they wrote a song that Chisato and Saki performed at their last recital at Yamaku, the one that allowed Saki to get into school to study music at the eleventh hour. Kayoko was one of Saki's biggest inspirations when she shifted towards composition. That first song she wrote represented the three of them. The two violins are Saki and Kayoko, and the piano is Chisato."

Suddenly, that song means a lot more to me. Hisao always has such an emotional reaction to it and watching him when we listen to it always moves me a little, but this whole time I thought it was just because of Saki. I didn't know about this other layer. This whole thing also makes me really feel for Chisato. She lost her two best friends before she was 30.

Chisato puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles at me, "We aren't going to force you to use the name, it's just a suggestion. It won't hurt our feelings if you don't. I know the name doesn't mean anything to you."

I grab Hisao's hand.

"We will think about it for sure. It's in the running. I think it's a really pretty name. It alsomatters to me that the name means something to all of you. And now that I know the story behind it, it sort of means something to me too."

Hisao nods in agreement, Chisato and Mitsuru also seem satisfied with my answer.

Chisato smiles broadly and leans back in her chair with her arms behind her head. "Welllll, If you decide not to go with that one, there is always Chisato. You know, the name of the wonderful, beautiful woman, who is responsible for you two being together? What better way is there to thank her? I mean, if it weren't for her this little girl wouldn't even have the opportunity to have you two as parents. You'd probably both still be oblivious about your feelings for one another."

I'm thankful that we're shifting back to being less serious.

Hisao rolls his eyes and responds before I can.

"Sorry Chisato, that one's not even on the list."

—-

Today, we're meeting a baby who might become our daughter. At this point, I don't know what it would take to get me to say 'no,' as my mind is pretty much made up. I have a feeling that seeing this adorable little bundle of joy will only stoke the fires of my maternal instinct. After last night, I think Hisao feels more or less the same, though he is still being a little more cautious than I am. It is probably good to be somewhat cautious about such a big decision.

We're going to the orphanage where she's currently staying and meeting with the orphanage director. I can barely contain my excitement once I'm there. I feel like a child on their birthday.

Eventually, we're led into her office. She sits down at her desk and we sit on two chairs across from her.

"Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Nakai, would you like anything to drink?"

No, lady, just show us our baby!

"Oh, I think I'm okay. What about you, Hisao?"

"I'll have some tea if it isn't too much to ask."

You'll…WHAT? I should have answered for you, you fool. You're wasting valuable time!

The director comes back with Hisao's tea and sits back down at her desk.

WHY ARE YOU SITTING LADY! GO GET OUR BABY!

It's Okay. Breathe Ibarazaki. Breathe. Don't go crazy or they won't let you have a baby at all.

"...so what will the process be like today?"

"Well, first, I want to ask if you have any questions for me? I understand that you met with the doctor yesterday, who explained her condition to you, correct?"

YES, GET ON WITH IT!

Hisao nods, "Yes, we know all about it. Although now that we're here, one question does come to mind that I didn't think of yesterday. I suppose we must be extra careful holding her?"

Okay well..I GUESS that's a good question…I'll give him a pass on that one.

The director nods. "Yes, she is somewhat delicate. She has little braces on her major joints to keep them from moving too much. You have to be a little careful with her, but as long as you hold her gently, she'll be very happy. Any other questions?"

"I don't think so."

The director smiles broadly at us. "Well, whenever you're ready, we can go and meet her. I'm sure you're eager to."

I'M READY! I want to snatch Hisao's tea away from him and smash it against the wall, maybe then he'll be ready too.

"Well, I think I'm ready Emi, are you?

"YES!" Oh…I said that one out loud, didn't I?

Hisao and the director both look at me and I feel my face flush. "Um…sorry…I got a little excited."

Hisao laughs and the director smiles. "Well, that's understandable. Follow me."

She takes us to a room in the orphanage where our little girl and three other babies are staying. She guides us to her crib, which contains the most beautiful little sight I've seen in my entire life.

She is sleeping soundly with a somewhat thoughtful look on her face. She is almost entirely bald, save for a few dark tufts of hair. As the director explained, she does have braces on her wrists, elbows, knees, and ankles. They are the tiniest little braces I've ever seen, and they are adorable. Her scoliosis is evident with the way she is laying, as there is a slight curve to her torso and her shoulders are uneven. They say symmetry is beauty, but this little asymmetrical baby proves that wrong the moment you look at her. I want nothing more than to snatch her up and hold her to my chest, but I'm able to contain myself.

I look over at Hisao, who is wearing the warmest smile I've ever seen on his face. I've seen him smile a lot at this point, but this one is different. I might even call it paternal, although maybe that's just me getting caught up in the moment. Either way, I can already tell he feels the same way I do. I don't see any concern in his face now.

He leans down and whispers to me.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I nod excitedly and turn to the director.

"Should we wait until she wakes up? We don't really want to disturb such an adorable nap."

The director smiles at me. "She'll likely be awake very soon. You can wait if you like, but I think if you'd like to hold her you won't disturb her too much."

I feel a little nervous now that this moment is here. I hope I don't hurt her. Holding babies this young already stresses me out a little bit because of their neck, but with her there's far more to worry about. How was I so gung-ho about this a minute ago? I look up at Hisao, and he nods. Looks like he's picked up on my trepidation.

"Okay, I'll pick her up if that's okay?"

The director nods and Hisao very delicately slides his hands underneath her. He uses one hand to support her neck and his other hand and forearm to hold her body still. He picks her up and I move to the same side he is holding her on. I put my hand on her little chest and look at her while Hisao smiles down at both of us. I think we can be a family. I'll always remember this as a perfect moment.

After we snuggle her together for a while, I feel that I've gained the courage to hold her myself. Hisao picks up on this and very gently passes her over to me, and I make sure to support her neck and the rest of her body. For a moment, she looks just as happy in my arms as she did in Hisao's, but before long she starts crying. I do my best to calm her down by stroking her head and moving around, but it doesn't go well, her crying gets louder. I'm trying my best not to panic. Babies do cry, after all.

The director, who has been observing us all along, approaches us.

She frowns slightly, "It is unlikely she is hungry right now; she ate quite recently. She is probably in some pain, unfortunately."

I nod, "Is there anything that seems to help?"

"She always does a little better being held. It comforts her some. So, it's good you're already doing that. Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot of medication she can take because of her age. That will become easier as she ages."

I try rocking her in my arms while Hisao gently strokes her head. After a few minutes, she settles down again and falls back asleep. I don't know whether it was because of us or if it passed on its own, but either way, seeing her so tranquil again is a beautiful sight.

I can already see that there are going to be some challenges with her that we wouldn't have with other babies, and that Hisao was probably right to bring those up. But I don't care. I love her. I want to raise her and care for her. I want her to be our daughter. I don't want to leave her here. I want to take her home with us now. The way Hisao is looking at us tells me that he feels the same. But we both also know that that isn't how this works. We get to spend a little more time with her, but then our time is over. I put her back down in her crib, we manage to pull ourselves away from her, and we return to the director's office.

She sits down at her desk and smiles, "I can already see that you two are quite interested in her."

Hisao nods to me and takes my hand, indicating that he wants us to move forward, and I answer.

"Yes, we want to adopt her." I feel a tear or two running down my face as I say these words but manage to hang on to my composure. I don't want to lose it here.

The director smiles warmly at us.

"That's wonderful. Congratulations."

She pulls a folder out of a desk drawer.

"Well, as you probably know, there's some more paperwork involved, and things will have to move through the agonizingly slow courts and other bureaucrats before you get custody of her. But hopefully, before too long, you'll be able to take her home."

She slides the folder over to us. It is surprisingly thick.

"Here's what you'll need to fill out. I can leave you two to complete it. It's…unfortunately quite a lot. And you've already answered many of these questions in your paperwork to even get to this point. But that's how it is, unfortunately. I will return in around 90 minutes, and then I'll make sure your forms get to the right place."

She smiles at both of us, and puts a hand on my shoulder, "Again, congratulations. I'm very happy for you both."

Once she leaves the room, I let the tears flow a little more freely. Hisao hugs me as I cry tears of joy into his chest. I feel a few of his tears dripping on top of my head. Unfortunately, we don't have as much time for this as I would like, since we have a mountain of paperwork. Hisao is thinking the same thing, because he lets me go and we both dry our tears and sit down. He goes to reach the folder, but then something causes him to hesitate.

"I think I know the answer to this, but I just want to make sure. You're going to be okay if we have a daughter who can't run, right?"

I'm a little offended at first, but I suppose I can see where he's coming from.

"Yes, Hisao. Just because I love to run doesn't mean we have to have a daughter who runs. Shoot, even if we did adopt a little girl without a condition that would make running difficult, there's no guarantee that she would want to run."

"That's what I figured, I just wanted to make sure." He smirks. "That means I won't have too much competition when I try to make her a chess-playing scientist."

I laugh and roll my eyes, "Yeah, good luck with that."

He smiles as he opens the folder and grabs a pen, "Well, hopefully this is the last paperwork we have to fill out for her. We'll have to hold this over her head someday to make her feel guilty."

I laugh, "We're going to be those kinds of parents, huh?"

"Maybe. I guess we'll see, won't we?"