Elliot immediately called her. "What the hell did you find?"
Olivia's eyes popped open and he shot her a sympathetic look. He wasn't sure how long she'd slept, but he assumed it hadn't been long enough.
"He's Vince's brother."
Elliot's brain must have still been foggy from all the drugs because it took him a minute to place the name, but when he did all the emotion washed over him like a flood. He was just a kid, and his death was his fault. "Vincent Lowe…God. I didn't think he had any family."
"Well he apparently has a brother… Bell and Whelan are questioning him now. Now that we know who he is. I texted them to let them know the connection."
"He wants me dead because Vince died while working with us?" He swallowed. He still felt enormous guilt for sending him into that building, and even more guilt over not finding him before Sirenko and his guys gunned him down. His stomach turned at the memory, at a life wasted. A life that didn't get the justice he deserved.
"That would be my guess, but I haven't sat in on much of the interrogation. He hasn't wanted to talk, but hopefully this information will put a little more pressure on."
"Thanks Jet."
"Yep." She said before disconnecting the call.
"Who is he?" Olivia asked him softly.
"Do you remember my CI from the Sirenko case last year…"
He felt her body tense up. She knew exactly who he was talking about. She arrived on scene only seconds after he died in Elliots arms.
"Vince."
His voice cracked. "Uh yeah. Vince was apparently this guy's kid brother."
"Oh God. I'm so sorry Elliot." She pulled his arm tighter around her.
They laid there silently for a moment before he said, "I don't blame him for blaming me. Honestly? I still blame myself."
"El," she lightly scolded. "You know that wasn't your fault.
"Do I?" He asked, voice indignant. "I knew better than to send him in. He was just an inexperienced kid. He wasn't predictable, and Sirenko was…he was paranoid and careful. I knew it was too dangerous but I sent him in anyway."
"It was the only way we could get the information we needed at the time. The case would have stalled out, and that bomb…lots of people were going to die." He knew she was trying to reassure him, but he would always feel responsible for Vince's death.
He closed his eyes. "Sorry Liv. I'm just tired."
He knew her and he knew she didn't want to drop it, but he also knew she would for his sake. "Okay," she sounded deflated, but he didn't have it in him to make her feel better at that moment. He was too busy being consumed by guilt over a death he thought he'd moved past, but it was becoming clear that he hadn't gotten past it, and apparently neither had Vince's brother.
-000-
"It took a minute," Bell began, "but we finally have an ID on you." She dropped a paper to the table for their assailant to view. "Alexander Lowe. Vermont." She shook her head, "from what we can tell you have lived in the state for your entire life. You rarely travel..." Ayanna leaned in to the perp. "Except for this trip to New York City." Ayanna stood up straight and paced the room. "You know most tourists stick to the historical stuff, but you apparently wanted the full immersive experience of hiring hitman to off a cop."
Alexander sat with his arms folded, still silent. She hadn't pushed the right buttons yet. Everyone had something that would set them off.
"It took us a minute, but we think we know why you came after Detective Stabler." Her dark brown eyes flicked to their perp. He remained blank. She continued her pacing. "Turns out you have a brother," She checked his reaction. Vague interest. That was a step up from the blank stare. "Two brother's actually." She glanced down at the papers in her hands. "Where did you fit in? Oldest? Middle? I know you weren't the baby. The baby was Vince." His eyes turned on her, but he remained silent. His body language indicated she was on the right track. Family was a sensitive topic. "It looks like you were the oldest. Damn. Your other kid brother died in a drunk driving accident in college… that's tough." She was sincere about that. She felt for this man. She really did. His whole family was gone, and he was left alone in the world. It was sad, really. That didn't give him a free pass on his actions. He would absolutely be held accountable for the harm he caused her friend.
She finally took the chair next to Jamie, who seemed content to sit second chair for this interview. "I'll get to the point. I think we are here because of what happened to Vince."
His body language became more hostile at the mention of his baby brother's name.
"I met him, you know. He helped us in a case."
"The case that got him killed…" Alexander mumbled.
She refrained from shouting out a hallelujah. "Yeah. You're right. We did what we could to keep him safe, but we can't always prepare for every situation.
Anger shot from his eyes, "That's all you can say? You did what you could, but you sent him into a situation you couldn't control." He was seething. "You are all responsible." His voice was accusatory. "I'm done talking."
Ayanna wanted to scream that they had barely started talking. "Look. It's bad. You put a hit out on a cop and when that failed you tried killing him yourself. It's bad. We understand the mitigating circumstances, but you gotta help us out."
"I'll talk to Stabler." He said firmly. "He was Vince's point of contact right? I wanna talk to him."
-000-
She was exhausted, but worried too. If she could only turn her brain off so she could get some rest. She knew Vince's death weighed on him, and now this? She worried that between reading her William Lewis case files, getting stabbed, and the reminder of his CI's death he would do something recklessly stupid. .
She kept her eyes closed and her head remained against his shoulder, and she tried to relax. She had to remind herself that he was with her now. They knew exactly where each other stood, and they could conquer anything together. Her only fear was that he wouldn't let her.
She shifted her weight, and wanted to cry because she was so damn tired, and she couldn't get herself to relax. She quieted her movements for a moment, but then she felt his fingers lightly trailing up and down her arm.
"I'm okay Liv." He insisted. Sometimes she hated their little mind trick. The one where they knew exactly what the other was thinking.
"Would you tell me if you weren't?" She countered.
He sighed. "I hope so."
"That's not really an answer…" she replied.
"Maybe not." He shifted so his body now faced hers. "I feel guilty about this. I can be honest about that. And I know you are going to insist that it wasn't my fault, but it won't help because I know it was my fault."
His hand brushed her cheek and trailed down her neck. "I'll be okay. I promise I'll talk. I work it out. I'll do whatever you want me to, but for now I really need you to sleep." His blue eyes were dark and broody. Laced with concern. "Let's get some sleep and deal with this disaster later.
She watched him carefully. They were both guilty of avoiding and deflecting issues that hurt too much. From the sound of his voice she deduced he was sincere, and she hoped he'd stick to his promise. They needed each other. They needed to let each other in. Problem was, she wasn't sure they could ever break the dysfunctional cycles that held them captive for so long.
-000-
J: We had him talking… finally
E: What happened?
J: He decided he'd only talk to you.
E: Done. Bring me down there.
J: No go. Sarge said, "no way in hell Stabler is coming in here to take what will become a tainted statement from our perp"
E: That was pretty specific.
J: Yeah, well she was yelling it soooo
E: I need to get down there.
J: Hey. I'm on your side, but Bell isn't going to let you near this.
J: Plus, last I checked you're on forced bedrest.
E: I'm calling Ayanna
J: No way. I wasn't supposed to say anything.
E: She really was planning on keeping me in the dark?
J: Yup- look- I thought you should know, but I'm sure she'll be pissed if she knows I'm the one who told you.
E: I need to get down there.
J: I'm telling you it's a stupid idea. Plus I'm sure your lady friend won't let you leave the hospital
E: Lady friend?
J: What else am I supposed to call her? F— buddies seemed a little derogatory.
E: Did you seriously just say that?
J: Regretting it now.
E: Good
J: But seriously. Not sure what to call her that doesn't sound weird.
E: Just go with partner. It's easier and people don't ask questions.
J: Okay.
E: Just ask Jet. I know you're wondering.
J: Everyone's wondering. It's not my business.
E: You're right. It isn't, but I think you deserve a little trust.
J: Okay. Are you two…God this is awkward…
E: More than friends? Yeah.
J: Yup. Don't need any more details than that.
E: You sure?
J: Please don't.
E: I wouldn't do that to you.
J: Yeah you would.
-000-
"What's Jet got to say?" Olivia asked with a groggy voice.
"Sorry. I was hoping having it on vibrate wouldn't bug you." His lips brushed her temple.
She sighed. "It's fine. My body is incapable of sleeping for any meaningful amount of time." She nuzzled into his shoulder a little more, but kept her eyes open. "Any more progress?"
He hesitated. He knew she was going to say the exact same thing Bell told Jet. He must have waited too long because she prodded again, "El?"
He sighed, "He started talking, but he shut up and told them he would only talk to me."
"I hope Bell told him where he could shove it…" She tilted her head up, and he knew she knew what he was thinking. "No Elliot. No."
"If it gets us the information we need…" he reasoned.
"The man put a gun to your chest, and you're like what? Let's be best friends!?." She was trying to control the emotion in her voice. He could feel her pulling herself away, going into full Captain Benson mode. She sat up and put distance between them.
"Come on. It's not like he's going to be armed…" he tried. He was beginning to tire of people coddling him, and his voice sounded sharper than he intended it to.
She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "What part of "near fatal stab wound" are you not understanding!? You could have died!" She pushed herself completely off the bed. She started looking around for her clothes.
She was going to leave. "Wait! Liv!" He sat up too quickly and groaned.
She pulled her shirt over her head. "I'm not sticking around to watch you kill yourself." She searched for her blazer. "I can't do it," her voice caught. She lifted her jacket off one of the chairs. "I know you are just going to do whatever the hell you want no matter what anyone says." She bit her lip, started to say something else, but thought the better of it.
This was a really bad time to be stuck in bed. He wasn't letting her leave. Not like this. "Wait."
She wouldn't look at him. She kept searching the floor for her shoes. "Liv," he softened his voice, but she still wouldn't look at him. He knew she was on the verge of tears…and it was his fault.
"Liv," he reached his hand out. "Come back here."
She froze, but still refused to look at him. He tried to scoot toward the edge of the bed, but fell back with a groan. "I can't chase you down so will you come here." His voice softened even more. "Please Liv."
She took a moment, but eventually her dark tear filled eyes lifted to his. He reached his hand out for her, and she tentatively took a step towards him. He gripped her hand once she was in reach. He pulled her, and one of her hands caught her before she crashed into his chest. They found themselves nose to nose, and the air felt thick with tension. She closed her eyes. "I can't lose you Elliot. I can't do that again." She shook her head, but tears still leaked from her eyes. "You were stabbed and almost died. He had a gun to your chest and you were seconds from dying. I just…it's too much. I know this is who you are and I'm not asking you to change that, but I can't do this if you intend on throwing yourself in front of every runaway train."
He lifted his hands to her face, "I'm sorry. I know it was a stupid idea. I mean, I nearly passed out trying to chase you down."
She chuckled at that, and his lips ghosted hers. She sighed. "You scared the shit out of me…twice now…" she admitted.
"I know. I'm sorry," his lips brushed against hers.
"I just need more than a day between your near death experiences…" he voice lightened.
"I'll be more careful." He promised.
"I'll believe it when I see it," she lightly snarked.
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I love you," he said fervently.
Her lips fell into his, and she kissed him deeply. "I love you too." She whispered.