"What the hell happened?" Tool demanded when the team charged into his parlor covered in sweat, mud, and blood with Lee carrying Sara, who looked worse off and was still in and out of consciousness.

"Job went to hell," Barney answered while Lee carried Sara down to the bathroom.

"Where's Billy?" Tool asked, and Lee shut the door behind him to avoid hearing the answer. He set Sara down into the tub. He wasn't a doctor, but her wounds needed cleaning. They'd assess and go from there.

"Hey," he said to her. "I'm not stripping you, but I'm taking off the outer layer. Okay?"

"Fine," she said. "It hurts, Lee."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He helped her pull everything off except her undergarments. Then he collected cleaning supplies. She groaned in pain as he started gently wiping the dirt and blood off with a warm cloth. Seeing what they'd done to her was making him sick.

"Hey, you need a hand?" Gunner asked from the doorway after opening it a crack.

"I'm good. Tell Toll to check in when I'm done in case there's something more serious that needs to be handled."

"Okay."

"The drops," Sara said now, gripping his wrist so tight he grunted.

"What?" he asked.

"Give me the drops," she commanded. "Right now. Please. I beg you. I need to end this pain."

"Drops?" Lee repeated, confused. He looked at Gunner.

"I've never heard of drops," he confirmed. "But from the way she's asking for them, they're obviously something."

"Please," she begged. "I need the drops."

"I don't have them, luv," Lee said to her. "I'm sorry."

"Joe," she said, squeezing his wrist harder. "Joe will know how to get them."

"Joe?" Gunner asked, sounding lost. Lee very strongly suspected who Joe was, and this was his chance to find out for sure.

"Is Joe here right now?" he asked her.

"No. He left with Maggie."

"Isn't that...?" Gunner started.

"We're good here," Lee cut him off, giving him a look. Gunner bowed his head and backed out. He turned to look back at Sara, who had tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I need them," she whispered.

"You don't," he replied, cupping her face lightly. "They won't do you any good." She breathed heavily and closed her eyes, releasing another groan of pain. He finished quickly, knowing the next part would have her screaming in no time.

He really hated disinfecting wounds.

...

Barney couldn't take the screams. He knew it had to be done or else Sara could get infected and be worse off, but her screams were killing him.

He locked himself into his office, flinching with each one despite them being more muffled down there. He poured himself a drink and pressed the glass against his forehead.

Billy was dead. Sara had almost died.

What an absolute freaking mess. He had no idea where it had all gone wrong. He downed his drink, setting the glass down and staring off into space. How was it that Sara was to be involved in this? Who thought she was supposed to be a part of this life? Who decided she was cut out to be a mercenary?

He thought of Maggie, unable to help it. She'd shown affection towards him, and he hadn't known what to do about it, especially under the circumstances. Now she was gone, and he didn't think he'd ever see her again. Not that it mattered. He wasn't cut out for family life.

When Sara's screams finally subsided, he breathed a little easier. Now, they just had to figure out if she needed a hospital or not.

...

Sara had almost hated Lee with a passion before he was done, and all she could hear still was his apologies over and over again. He worked as gently as he could, but she was about ready to die when he was finished cleaning her up.

Toll shone a light into her eyes and checked her over. She didn't like the look on his face when he was done.

"I'd feel better if she went in," he advised. "I know there's some bruised, if not cracked or broken, ribs. I just think someone better than me should assess you."

"No," Sara said.

"Come on," Lee interrupted. "We're going." She stared at him. He'd brought her clean clothes to change into, and she just wanted to sleep.

"No," she said again. She didn't want to go there.

"Non-negotiable," Lee advised. Toll nodded behind him. She hated them both.

"You better shower first," Toll suggested, looking at Lee blatantly, and Lee nodded. Toll took Sara out while he did so, making small talk and avoiding eye contact. She knew she looked bad. She knew they all blamed themselves for it.

"I'm fine, Toll," she said when he set her down on the couch.

"I was scared," he confessed, looking at her. She held his gaze, wondering if he was going to announce his crush. She hoped he wouldn't. She didn't like him that way, and she didn't want to hurt yet another member of this team. When he didn't say anything, she wondered if he didn't want to interfere with whatever the hell was going on with her and Lee.

"It all worked out in the end," she advised. He said nothing, and she looked away. When Lee came back, he pulled her to her feet, and she let him take her to the hospital. Apparently, they had a doctor there who knew about them and handled their cases.

She barely remembered anything of that visit or what she was diagnosed with. She was given pain medication, which she knew she wasn't going to take, and sent home with instructions to return if things got worse.

How much worse could they get?

"Please just go," she said as Lee helped her get settled onto her bed back at Tool's. It was late now.

"No," he said, sounding just as stubborn as her.

"Lee, you can't stay here," she said firmly. She was remembering something she'd said to him in her painful haze earlier. Had she really said something about the drops? Those weren't even invented yet. He must have been so confused. She hoped she hadn't given anything away about her situation.

"Watch me."

"Lacy will be mad."

"I don't give a toss about her right now," he insisted. Sara stared at him. Was he serious?

"Lee," she tried again. He simply climbed into bed with her and rolled to his right side, looking at her.

"If you need me, I'm right here," he promised. She opened and closed her mouth. What was the point of arguing? She had no energy anyway.

"Fine," she caved. She reached to turn the light off, but she couldn't sleep. Everything kept playing through her mind over and over again. At one point in the car ride with Lee and Church, she could have swore she'd heard Lee say he loved her, but how was that possible when he was engaged to Lacy? She chalked it up to being in a haze and quite out of it. It made her feel sad, though, to think her brain would conjure that up for her. Did that mean she really did want him? When she began to cry, Lee said nothing as he pulled her into his arms and kept her there all night long.

Two Weeks Later

Sara was on her side on her bed, just staring at the wall. Ever since she'd come home from the last job, she'd felt so numb. No amount of coaxing could bring her around. She let Barney check on her from time to time for his sanity and because he threatened to break down the door if she didn't.

She'd moved out of Tool's place a week after coming home because she couldn't take all of them continuously banging on her door and trying to rally her around, especially Toll. He was hovering way too much, and she just wanted to be left alone. She got a small apartment that was doable and quiet.

Except for now.

"Sara, I know you're in there," Lee's voice said outside the front door. He was the other person who threatened forceful entry that involved splintering down the door if she didn't comply. She just wasn't up for him today, though. She knew he felt guilty and responsible for what happened to her, but she didn't blame him. It was her own stupid fault for not realizing that torture came with this job sometimes.

"Sara," he said again. "Please."

She closed her eyes. She just wanted him to go away. She wanted it all to go away. She didn't respond, and it wasn't long before he was standing next to her bed. She really should remember to hook the latch on that door.

"Hey," he said. "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to say," she replied. She still wasn't looking at him. She was aware that she was only half dressed in her black tank top, her sweats draped over the chair next to the bed. The bruises and marks on her body were slowly fading, but they would be there forever in her mind.

"Tell me how I can help you," he practically begged. "Please."

"You can't!" she exclaimed now, sitting up. "You can't, Lee! There is no helping me!" He stood there looking broken, and she burst into those ridiculous tears again. She buried her face into her hands, and eventually, he sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms. She wanted to let him comfort her, but she grew angry knowing that he was still marrying Lacy. It was such a stupid thing to get upset over, but she couldn't stop it. After that first night where he'd stayed with her, she'd been so sure he was going to end things with Lacy, especially after saying he didn't give a toss about her.

But he'd gone home to her the next morning.

"Just go," she said, pushing him off. It pissed her off how hurt he looked at this.

"I'm not leaving," he said stubbornly.

"I don't want you here!" she yelled, standing up now. "What is so hard to understand about that?!"

"And what is so hard to understand about me wanting to be here for you?!" he shouted back, on his feet next and standing in front of her. "Damn it, Sara, I care about you, and I can see you sinking from this...and I can't let that happen to you."

"You care about me? Get real, Lee. You just feel guilty and want to appease that by holding my hand," she spat at him. He flinched a little, but then he reached to hold her shoulders.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I care about you?" he asked.

"You can't care about me," she insisted. "You just can't."

"Why not?"

Because I'm not here forever...

"I have no energy for this right now," she said, pulling away from him.

"You can't give me an answer so you just shut it down?" he asked, incredulous. "Now who's avoiding who?"

"Lee," she said, pressing a hand to her face. "Please just go."

"No," he replied.

"Does Lacy know you're here?" she asked, finally looking at him again. He looked like he was going to lie, but then he thought better of it.

"No," he answered.

"Why not?"

"You know why," he said, deflecting.

"Because she suspects that we're an item?" Sara asked. "Right?" She had heard how pissed Lacy had been to hear he'd stayed with her that first night, that he hadn't come straight home to her. He held her gaze.

"Right."

"I really think you should leave, Lee," she said after a moment. He took in some breaths and sighed. He walked away from her, and she followed to make sure he was actually going when he moved to her couch and fell down onto it, reaching for the remote.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere," he replied, turning the TV on and finding some show about fails. Frustrated and annoyed, she walked back to her bedroom and slammed the door. He could stay out there if he wanted, but she didn't have to be near him. It was hard to be around him, especially when all she kept hearing was Billy's voice telling her to be honest with Lee about how she felt.

...

Lee didn't know how to help Sara through this. Yes, he felt guilty and responsible, but he could see she was letting it sink her, and he needed to save her from that.

All his questions about Maggie were on the back burner for now. He didn't want to make things worse when Sara was still like this. He saw another text message from Lacy come in, and he didn't answer it either. Things were very rocky between him and her right now. She had been upset that he spent so much time trying to look after Sara, so he started lying to her about it. It wasn't going to end well. He knew that.

He looked in the direction of Sara's closed bedroom door. Seeing her so hurt like that when he'd found her had cracked something inside of him that was becoming bigger and deeper each day. He couldn't stop pushing away his feelings for her anymore. He'd meant it when he'd said he loved her, but he was having trouble saying it out loud to her.

His phone quacked, and he gave a half snort to himself. Now he understood why Sara had picked this particular ringtone for Lacy. It was loud and abrasive and annoying.

"Yea?" he said, answering it.

"Where are you?" Lacy asked angrily.

"I'll be home later."

"That's not answering the question, Lee!"

"I'm with Barney," he lied.

"No, you're not. I just called him, and he said he had no idea where you are," Lacy said, sounding a bit triumphant. Lee pressed his lips together tightly. Nice of Barney to let him know that information.

"Alright, I'm with Sara. Happy now?"

"Lee! Why are you with her again?! You promised!" Lacy was sounding hysterical now. "Why did you just lie to me?!"

"I didn't say anything because you ride me for hours about it, and it's exhausting and I can't deal with it anymore," he said. There was silence, and then she exploded on him. He let her go, not even jumping in to defend himself. There was no point.

"I'm done, Lee. Done," Lacy said. "You are clearly in love with her, and I need someone who is fully committed!"

"You're one to talk," he shot at her, and she gasped dramatically.

"You said you'd forgiven me!"

"You think I didn't see the guys you've been texting?" he demanded. "You think I didn't know about that coffee you had with one of them a week ago? I'm not stupid, Lacy."

"Don't you dare make this about me!"

"Pack up your shit and be out of my place before I get home," he warned. "And lose my number." He hung up on her, shaking a bit with anger. That was a blow up waiting to happen, and now that it was over, he felt a bit relieved. A minute later, he heard Sara's door open again, and she stood before him in her tank top and now sweatpants.

"What just happened?" she asked.

"You know bloody well what just happened," he answered with a scoff. "And no, I don't want to talk about it."

She said nothing as she went to curl into him on the couch, and he put his arms around her. He wasn't sure why she had a sudden change of heart for keeping him around, but he wasn't going to argue it. He felt her fall asleep against him a while later, and he kissed her temple and held her close.

He was in this with her for the long haul, that was a guarantee. He just had to be brave enough to finally say the words out loud.

...

Lacy had left him. This was uncharted territory they were in now. Sara fell in and out of sleep against Lee on that couch, and he never, not for one second, let her go. She wasn't sure what to make of that.

"You hungry?" he asked when she woke up a third time and it was almost dark out.

"A little." For once. She hadn't had any desire to eat much since coming home. Everything had hurt for so long that she was used to just feeling pain and nothing else.

"I can call for something," he offered.

"Okay."

She got up for some water while he did that. Then she turned to find him standing there looking at her. She knew what he saw upset him, so she said nothing. She could still hear Billy's words, but she knew now was not the time.

"I'm sorry," he finally said.

"You have to stop saying that," she replied.

"But I am. We...I...should have been more alert to the surroundings."

"They came out of nowhere, Lee. Even we didn't see them, and we were scoping," she said. "It happened. It's over. I just want to move on."

"That's the thing," Lee said. "I can't."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't move on from it. I can't stop seeing it happening in my head over and over, and not just Billy's death but picturing what they did to you. I nightmare about it, and every time I can't get to you...or Billy. I feel helpless and angry and guilty that I did not keep either of you safe."

"I dissociated for most of it," Sara told him. "I learned how to do that at a fairly young age. It was mostly an out of body experience for me. I don't fully remember a lot of it." But she remembered feeling the pain...she still did.

"While I hate hearing that you had to learn how to do that so young, I also happen to know that even when you do it, you still feel the pain at some point," he said on cue. "You think I haven't been tortured before?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," she whispered.

"But you have to in order to heal from it," he insisted. "So maybe not with me but with someone. Toll can probably hook you up with his shrink. You can't leave it in forever. And you don't even have to talk about what happened...just talk about your feelings around it at least."

"I will deal with it on my own terms," she said firmly. He looked like he was going to argue some more, but he conceded with a nod. In the end, he had a different question for her.

"Does Maggie know Cid? I heard her say his name to you."

Sara considered her answer carefully. Maggie had said she'd look for Cid in the future, but she couldn't tell Lee that. It had surprised her that Maggie had even said it, had known about Cid, but Sara guessed she was more in the loop than she realized.

"She caught me having a moment about him before we left for the job," she lied. "I just told her I couldn't see him right now, and she just wished for me to be able to be back with him soon. That's all."

"Oh."

Why did it sound like he'd been hoping for a different answer? She acted nonchalant, and he let it go. The food had arrived at this point, and she let him pay for it. He set the pizza box down in front of her and opened the lid, offering her first choice. She was surprised when her stomach actually growled.

"I heard that," Lee commented, a smirk twitching on his lips.

"Shut up," she retorted, picking up a slice and going to sit down with it. He brought it to the coffee table and set it down there while sitting two feet away from her on the couch. Sara watched the news that was muted on the TV. It looked like something bad was happening somewhere, like always. It was still a bit weird to be in the past. Things were different.

"So, you and Lacy, huh?" she said. Then she mimicked an explosion with her hands complete with the sound effects. He scoffed and shook his head.

"Don't say 'I told you so,'" he instructed.

"But I did," she replied, smirking around her chewing.

"She couldn't trust me," he said finally. "I need the person I love to be able to do that."

"Sounds reasonable."

She didn't ask any more questions, and he didn't offer up anything else either. It was nice, just sitting there with him. There was less tension now that there was no Lacy to make them feel bad for hanging out. She wondered how long it would take him to tell her how he really felt about her, but she wasn't going to push. She was going to let it happen naturally. It would be worth it when it did. She tried not to think about what it would do to him when she had to leave eventually, but she was starting to have the crazy thought that he could go with her. Would he want to, though? She didn't know.

"Thank you," she said after a moment, making him look at her.

"For what?"

"For staying," she answered. He gave his crooked smile, and, thankfully, refrained from saying "I told you so," but she knew he was thinking it. After a moment, she reached to hold his hand, and he let her.

Three Months Later

He didn't think she was ready, but she'd insisted.

He looked back at her from his seat, watching as she talked and laughed with the men. Ever since he and Lacy had broken up, he'd spent more time with her. There was definitely something between them, but neither one of them was brave enough to cross the line. Lee wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling she was waiting for him. He just still couldn't seem to say it out loud.

"She's good," Barney said now. "I talked with her."

"I know."

Sara had recovered slowly, giving in and talking to Toll's therapist for a bit to help process everything. Lee and the guys had done their best to help her out, and Lee ended up staying at her place with her more often than not.

She let him sleep with her in the bed, but nothing escalated. He knew she needed the comfort, and he wasn't about to break that trust. He had been surprised at how much Toll had stopped by to check on her, but after finding Lee there three times, he stopped. Lee wondered if Toll had been hoping something could happen with Sara, and it slightly put him on edge, but Sara didn't seem to notice or take it any further.

"This is an easy first job to get back into things," Barney promised. "Just get the flash drive and get out."

"Yea, we were supposed to just get the case and get out, remember?"

Barney said nothing, and Lee felt satisfied that he'd won their silent squabble before it had even started. He'd talked to Barney about letting Sara go from the team, but Barney insisted he couldn't do that. It left Lee feeling disgruntled, but there was nothing he could do about it, especially with Sara wanting to go back to doing jobs. And he knew why she had to; it just frustrated him that she had to. He'd promised himself to never leave her alone again, though.

"Landing in ten!" Barney called back a few moments later, and Lee stretched and cracked his back.

Time to go to work.

...

Sara was not feeling as confident as she'd hoped as she followed Lee. It was not the typical job where they went in armored up and ready to fight a war. They had to be discreet, act like they were on a date, and dress up really, really nice.

And Lee just looked so good.

She could tell he liked what he saw on her, too, from the way he kept giving her sideways looks. She felt so much closer to him this past while, but that was probably because they were together a lot. She wasn't sure what she was doing, if she was honest. She wanted to hurry up and get the last job done in 2016 so she could go back and get Cid, but the thought of leaving Lee was devastating. She knew better than to fall for him, but she was realizing more and more that it was too late for that.

And she felt pretty sure that Lee was almost ready to tell her how he felt about her.

They were in the office now, and she started to root around the desk drawers looking for the flash drive while Lee kept watch at the door. Sara was growing impatient when she couldn't find it; she rested her hands on her hips and thought hard.

"What?" Lee asked, noticing. She broke into a smile and held up a finger before kneeling on the floor and looking up at the bottom of the drawer. The drive was taped to the underside of the drawer. Sneaky.

She removed it, tucked it into her handbag, and stood up. She nodded at Lee, who nodded back and she moved to get to him so they could leave together when they heard voices in the hallway coming closer. Sara was about to panic when Lee grabbed a hold of her hand, pulled her back into the room, and shut the lights off. Her heart was pounding as Lee maneuvered her against the wall and slid his hands on either side of her face before kissing her softly. She knew it was a technique to appear non-suspicious should anyone come into the room, but it ignited her inside all the same. She grabbed his shoulders as he slid his hands to her back, resting on her skin. She made a sound in her throat, and their kiss grew more intense.

Footsteps were right outside the door, and the light came on, making them stop.

"Excuse me," a deep voice said. "What are you doing in here?"

"Sorry, mate," Lee said with a sheepish smile as he looked over at the man. "I just couldn't resist...you know how it is." Sara gave her best convincing look, and the guy gave a snort and shook his head before sighing.

"Get out of here," he ordered. Lee took her hand in his again and walked out with her. She held onto his arm as she hustled with him. Just before the top of the stairs, she decided she couldn't walk out of there without properly finishing what they'd started because she feared it would never happen again outside of work. Lee was a bit startled when she stopped and twisted him to face her. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. He kissed her back, holding her close and making her feel like it was just the two of them alone in this entire building. When it ran out of steam, Lee pulled back slowly. She looked at him, his face inches from hers. Despite everything, she'd slowly fallen for this man, whether she wanted to or not. There was a lot she wanted to say in this moment, but she didn't know where to even start.

"Did you get it?" Barney's voice asked in her ear, making her almost jump.

"Don't ask stupid questions," Lee retorted back, looking over his shoulder as if Barney was standing behind them and glowering at them.

"Yes, we have it," Sara said, hoping to avoid a bicker fest over comms.

"Good. Hurry up."

"What do you think we're doing?" Lee asked. Sara tuned out the squabble that came after, and once they were outside, she made her way to the van. Lee opened the door for her and helped her up. He climbed in after her, and Barney twisted around in the driver's seat.

"No party favor?" he asked. Sara caught Lee's wrist before he could land a punch on Barney's smirking face.

"Go," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," Barney said, saluting and turning back to face the front. They were driving soon after. Sara leaned back in her seat and exhaled. She handed the flash drive to Lee to pass to Toll in the front passenger seat. He took it carefully and pocketed it. Sara knew he was disappointed that she didn't return his crush, but she hoped he would be alright and find someone else again.

After an hour of driving, they were back to the safe house. Sara ignored the banter as she got out of the van and went inside. She walked to her room and did her best to not think about Lee's lips on hers. She was pulling out her earrings when a knock sounded on her door. She set them on the dresser and walked to pull the door open. She was surprised to find Lee standing there. The others could be heard talking loudly and laughing further down the hall.

"Did I forget something?" she asked.

"Yea," he answered.

"What did I forget?" She felt her breath hitch as he stepped into her and wrapped an arm around her while gripping her face with his other and kissing her again. He moved his lips slowly, pulling and pressing against hers before gently opening her mouth and kissing her that way for a moment before kissing her deeper.

Her knees were done for, and he caught her waist before she lost her balance. When he stopped, they stood pressed together, noses touching.

"Your kiss goodnight," he said after, answering her question. "It was a date after all."

"I see," she said, dazed. He smiled and stepped away. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Was this his way of telling her he was ready? Was she ready? Did she want this? It was hard to concentrate, but she knew once they got back home, they were going to be having a very serious conversation.

The Next Day

Lee couldn't stop thinking about it—that kiss. He knew everyone else was oblivious to it, but it was the only thing on repeat in his brain. They got home in one piece after delivering the flash drive to its rightful owner. Barney declared a night out at the bar, and everyone "hear, hear'd" and agreed to be there.

Lee wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but he suddenly felt too nervous to be alone with Sara, so he avoided her for now. If they went ahead with this, it would change everything, and he didn't know if they should do that.

Even if he really wanted to.

...

The music was loud. Sara remembered working in places with loud music and happy, drunk, grabby men. She sat quietly as everyone talked and laughed about the job. She kept meeting Lee's eyes and knew they needed to talk. Badly.

But he was avoiding her, and she wasn't sure why. She didn't think she'd done anything wrong. He'd been the one to kiss her after all...two out of the three times.

"Alright," she said after a while, getting up. One of her favorite songs was on. She'd discovered that she really liked some of the older music. "Who's with me?" She looked around. Toll and Gunner were already on the dance floor, leaving Barney, Caesar, and Lee at the table.

"Christmas don't dance," Barney said as Sara stood in front of Lee expectantly.

"I beg to differ," she said. Lee shook his head slowly, his expression a bit of a grouch.

"He'll stab you if you try," Barney added, chuckling as he sat back in his chair to watch. The bar was playing "I Need to Know," and Sara was not going to let Lee sit there like a lump. Toll and Gunner were dancing with some ladies, and even Caesar was moving his head and body in his chair and looking like he was going to join in soon.

"You're dancing," she said to Lee, who shook his head again. She grabbed his hands and tried to pull him to his feet, but he swiftly yanked her back, and she almost landed in his lap.

"No," he said firmly.

"Caesar, help me," she ordered, looking at the man. He swiveled his head to see what she was trying to do and then burst out laughing.

"I like my face, thanks," he commented. "Sorry, darlin', you're on your own." Barney turned his head away too, and Sara harrumphed.

"Come on," she said, trying to pull again. He resisted. She could tell he was trying not to smirk at her efforts, which pissed her off a little. She eventually leaned her hands on his knees and resisted laughing at the startled expression he wore when she moved her head next to his face, her lips just grazing his ear.

"Are you scared?" she asked. She felt him tense up before he turned his head to look at her, their lips inches from each other.

"You don't scare me," he said back.

"Then dance with me," she replied.

"Still no," he said. She sighed and moved back.

"Barney," she said, making him look at her again. "Help me move the chair."

"What?" he asked.

"What?" Lee asked at the same time.

"Oho! I'm in," Caesar said, having overheard. He stood, and between her and Caesar (Barney flat out rejected being a part of this), they moved the chair Lee was sitting in to the middle of the dance floor. A few people laughed at the sight, and Sara felt satisfied that Lee was squirming with embarrassment now as she started to dance around him.

"Oh, no," she said when he tried to get up. "You don't dance, remember? Caesar?"

"I got it," Caesar said, pushing down on Lee's shoulders to keep him in the chair.

"You're dead," Lee said to him.

"I'll risk it," he replied. "I'm actually a little more afraid of her than you." He proceeded to laugh as Sara waved her butt in Lee's face on her way by, and Lee leaned away to get away from her. She held her arms up in the air and nudged him from the side, making him growl and try to get up again. When Caesar wouldn't let him, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his small knife. Caesar instantly let him go at that.

"Sorry, girl," he said to Sara. "I don't feel like spending the night in the emergency room cos he stuck that thing in my hand."

"It's alright," she said. "I think I've made my point." Caesar went to sit back down with Barney, and Sara looked to see Lee getting up to leave.

"Aha!" she exclaimed, catching his hand and pulling him back. "You're on your feet. I win."

"Sara," he said. "No." She linked her fingers through his and moved his arms back and forth, moving him around playfully. He resisted, but she kept it up. Eventually, she let go of his hands and pressed herself against him as she did a circle around him, eyes on him the whole time. He stood still, not giving in until she grabbed his hips and propelled him backwards off to the side.

"Knock it off," he ordered as she slid her arms up to loop around his neck.

"Not until you dance with me," she said.

"I don't dance," he said stubbornly. She tilted her head at him as the song changed to "Gimme More," and she raised a brow at him.

"I just wanna dance with you," she said, echoing the lyrics.

"Damn that Caesar," Lee grouched, glaring at the man now bouncing around to the song and grinning at him like an idiot.

"Just do it," Sara ordered, moving him around again. She turned so her back was against him with one hand holding his arm around her stomach and her other reached around to hold the back of his head. It was like dancing with a stick in the mud. A very stubborn stick.

If she had any lingering doubts about him being attracted to her, though, they were long gone. She could see it in his eyes when she turned to face him again. When he still wouldn't move, she stopped and threw up her hands in exasperation.

"You win," she said, "buzz kill." She walked away from him, feeling annoyed and slightly embarrassed herself now. She was just about to the door when hands grabbed her waist and spun her around. She automatically grabbed the person's arms to get her balance, and she was surprised to see it was Lee.

She was even more surprised when he steered her back to the dance floor and started to dance with her. She didn't even have time to think. He moved her around, pulling her in and pushing her out...spinning her around. She was laughing and dizzy by the time he was done, and even he had a small smile on his face.

"OH MY GOD SHE GOT HIM TO DANCE!" Caesar practically screamed.

"WOOOOOO!" Toll bellowed next. Gunner was laughing and fist pumping. Even Barney was chuckling in his chair. "Hold it Against Me" was next, and Sara laughed at Lee's shooting glare at Caesar again.

"What?!" he said. "I love my Britney!"

"Keep him away from the bloody thing!" Lee hollered at Toll, who just grinned back. Sara flushed inside when he put a hand on her back and held her close, spinning them both around slowly. She put a hand on his shoulder after and moved around him, sliding her hand onto his neck as she rested her back against his before moving around to face him again. He caught the back of her neck with his hand and wrapped an arm tight around her lower back, and Sara was pretty sure she was going to fall over from his touch. Then the song changed, and they were no longer moving.

Sara could feel him breathing hard against her, his heart pounding. Hers was too. For a moment, it looked like he was going to kiss her, and she waited, but it never came. Instead, he let her go.

"Excuse me," he said, walking away. She watched him disappear in the crowd, and she wondered what happened. She caught Caesar's look, and he appeared puzzled. She just shrugged and went to sit down by Barney again.

"You wanna know why he doesn't dance?" Barney asked casually.

"Why?"

"His momma taught him. She was a dance teacher. She was murdered in her dance studio about 20 years ago, and Lee has never danced since."

Sara felt like shit then. She waited a bit before excusing herself and going to find her partner.

...

Lee shut his truck door with a bang and walked towards his small house. He walked up the creaking wood steps and opened the screen door, unlocking the main door in seconds. He was inside, snapping the light on, and grabbing the back of his head with his hand as he spun slow circles in his kitchen. A lot of memories were going through his mind in that moment. He could still hear her screams if he focused close enough.

"F***!" he shouted, knocking everything off the counter in one sweep. He was seeing red now, and he started throwing whatever was at hand. Empty beer bottles smashed against the door, books were hurled onto the floor, and his knives were stabbed into the wooden board on the counter. He didn't even hear Sara enter the house and turned with a knife in his hand at the sound of her saying his name.

She gave a slight gasp and held up her hand to protect herself. He dropped it with a clatter on the counter, breathing hard. He stared at her for a moment, wondering why she was there.

"Barney told me," she said softly. "I came to see if you were alright."

"I'm not alright," he said tightly.

"Then by all means, continue," she said, gesturing. He picked up the knife and threw it into the wall, the rage returning. All the feelings of helplessness and terror and anguish came rushing back to him. He was a young man again watching his mother getting shot to death. He was yelling and swearing and shaking by the time he was finished his rampage. He sank to the floor and leaned against the fridge, gripping his head in his hands as his emotion started creeping out of his throat. He said nothing as Sara sat down next to him. He didn't fight her as she put an arm around him and pulled him into her. He fell slowly down across her legs as she held him close, and he started to shake with silent sobs. He never showed anyone this emotion. Never.

But tonight, he couldn't stop it.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I got you."

He gasped out a ragged sob then. It had been so long since anyone had said that to him. He was very used to just holding his own, having his own back. The team had helped with showing he could trust others, Barney especially, but now...now Sara.

He gripped her hands with his tightly, afraid that if he let go, she'd disappear. He let out all of his emotion until there was nothing left. Then he just lay there in her arms breathing. She said nothing the entire time. Eventually, he got a hold of himself and moved to sit up again. She kept a hold of his hand, though, her fingers laced through his in that comfortable way of hers.

"I hope I didn't scare you," he said hoarsely after a moment.

"Please," she said, scoffing a little. "My son had worse tantrums than that." He gave a slight scoff at this and reached with his free hand to rub the back of his neck.

"Thanks," he said sarcastically.

"That wasn't a tantrum, though, what you just did," she said, looking at him. "That right there was grief in its rawest form." He swallowed down the emotion that was trying to come up in his throat again.

"It's been stuffed down for a long time," he said eventually.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"It wasn't your fault," she said quietly, giving his hand a little shake in hers.

"You weren't there," he countered.

"Did you kill her?"

"No."

"Then it wasn't your fault."

"Damn it, Sara," he said angrily, letting go of her hand and standing up away from her. "I might as well have. I couldn't save her. She died because I couldn't get the bloody door open..." He turned away from her, suddenly swarmed with the image again: His mother's face through the broken window as her killer held her at gunpoint; his inability to beat down the door. He'd heard her screaming, watched her cry and close her eyes...then take her last breath. He'd watched it all while pounding on the door to break it down with his bare hands. Her killer had gotten away despite his efforts to chase him.

Sara's hands were tugging him around, and he found himself being hugged by her when he did. She held him tightly and didn't say a word, and he grasped her back like she was a lifeline that was saving him from drowning. After a while, he finally let her go and wiped at his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

"You wanna drink?" she asked.

"Yea."

She went into his fridge and pulled out a ginger ale and a beer, handing him the beer while taking the ginger ale for herself. Lee felt slightly embarrassed about her witnessing his freak out, but she wasn't commenting on it, thankfully.

"My father blamed me," he said after a bit. "He said a real man would have been able to save her."

"Oh, Lee..."

"So I lost my mother and my father that day," he went on, looking at her. "He refused to speak to me, so I left for war and never looked back. Then I came here, and here we are."

"That's incredibly painful," Sara said, her ginger ale can at her lips after taking a sip.

"The man who did it," Lee stated, "I found out later he had collected a debt from my father. Her life was the cost of his freedom from that debt." He rubbed his face as he tried to slow his mind. He needed to sit down, so he found himself back on the kitchen floor and leaning against the cupboard doors. Sara sat next to him, her leg resting against his.

"Have you killed him? The man who did it?"

"No. I haven't found him yet."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Lee said a bit curtly. He was done with being emotional. He set his beer down on the floor and crossed his arms loosely against his chest as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

"What would you rather do then?" Sara asked after a moment, and something in her tone made him open his eyes and turn his head to look at her. He knew they needed to talk, but he didn't have the right words to say.

"What I want to do puts a lot of things at risk," he answered. "But the more I think about it, the more I think I want to take the risk."

"Sometimes risks are meant to be taken," Sara agreed, setting her drink down next. She rested her palms flat on the floor as she studied him. He reached to shift her hair behind her ear, smoothing his thumb down her cheek. She closed her eyes and parted her lips at his touch, and before he chickened out, he moved into her and kissed those lips gently. She kissed him back, moving to eventually sit in his lap. She held his face in her hands, and to Lee, it felt like he was home. He fell down slowly onto his back, and she sat on his waist while resting her hands on the floor to hold herself over him. He ran his fingers along her arms, neck, sides, and stomach as he looked up at her, and she wasted no time kissing him again, urgently this time. He had the feeling this was typically a quick experience for her, which was indicated by the speed of which she was going.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said, catching her hand to hold in his.

"What?" she asked, sounding afraid. "Have you...have you changed your mind?"

"No," he answered, cupping her face with his hand. "Just...slow down."

"Slow down?" she repeated. The look on her face said it all. She was not used to being treated like she was special. To Lee, she was more than special.

She was his love.

"Slow down," he confirmed, running a finger along her temple lightly. "I'm not some john you have to work hard to impress or please. Just be you...okay?"

"I don't know how to do that," she answered, sounding unsure and almost small. He realized that she had perfected the art of pleasing a man with her former job, so he understood her uncertainty.

"Just start by telling me what you like," he said. Her face was a bit blank.

"I don't...know," she answered slowly. She held his gaze, and he saw how vulnerable she was right now.

"Well then." He smiled gently. "We'll figure it out together, shall we?" She nodded, and he kissed her again, keeping it slow and sensual. He massaged her temples with his fingers lightly, making her groan a little. She broke the kiss now, breathing unevenly and looking at him again.

"Who am I to you?" she asked in a whisper. He took her hand and pressed her palm against his lips softly; he felt her shiver.

"Someone I've fallen in love with," he replied. "The only person who's seen all of me and has yet to run away."

"I don't scare easily," she said, curling her fingers against his cheek. "Also, I'm much, much worse than you."

"I disagree."

She looked unsure of what to do next, so he sat up again and pulled her to her feet. He picked her up easily and headed for his room. She was kissing him again before he got there, and he made some missteps and bumped into some things, but they eventually got there. He gently fell down with her onto his bed, still kissing her. He took his time, intentionally making her feel more and more alive as he went along. He whispered into her skin, her ear, against her lips...telling her how much he cared for her, how much she meant to him...asking what she wanted. Feeling her skin against his was a thousand times better than he'd ever imagined. Being with her...a million times better than he'd ever dreamed. There was a pause where he just looked at her and she looked back at him before he touched his lips to hers like a whisper and she pulled him against her tighter. He could tell she'd never been cherished like this, and he could feel her emotions about it.

She lay in his arms after. He could feel her heart beating hard under his arm.

"All this time," she said, "I thought I was broken."

"Not broken, just never had your manual read," he corrected, knowing what she was talking about. He was teasing, and she elbowed him in response but was laughing a little as well.

"No one has ever cared about me like that," she told him. "Ever."

It hurt him to hear this, but in a slightly selfish way, he was happy to be the first one. He kissed her neck lightly in response.

"I've never been in love," she confessed, running her fingers along his arm slowly.

"And now?" he asked, needing to know. She turned in his arms, brushing her nose against his face before pressing her face against his cheek.

"What does it feel like?" she asked instead. "Falling in love?"

"Exactly like that: falling," he answered.

"Do you feel scared and vulnerable?"

"Yes."

"Do you also feel like there's no other person you ever want to be with?"

"Yes," he answered, feeling high anticipation for her answer now.

"Then yes," she said, "I'm in love with you." He accepted her kiss, letting her climb to sit on him again. He ran his fingers along her temple and cheek as she looked down at him afterwards.

"Please don't break me," she whispered. He'd had the same thought, but for her to say it meant she wouldn't do that to him; she knew how much it would hurt.

"I won't," he promised. "I will never break you, Sara." She closed her eyes and rested her face against his, smoothing her hand over his chest. He found her lips with his, conveying his promise again wordlessly with each kiss.

Over and over again.