Hikari couldn't hold back the yawn the next day in class. As she closed her mouth Asuka asked her, "Why are you tired?"
"Huh? Oh, I had a late night last night." Hikari replied. She went on, "I had to catch up with housework now that I'm tutoring during the week."
Asuka arched an eyebrow. "Are you tutoring people other than Shinji?"
"Not yet." Hikari replied.
Asuka smirked. "So you mean to tell me nobody is as far gone as Shinji, huh?" Her head whirled around to look at Shinji and his friends. "Even that meat head Suzuhara?"
Hikari couldn't help herself glare at the back of Asuka's head, but let the moment pass with a sigh. Sometimes it was frustrating to be Asuka's friend, the girl's casual cruel remarks were starting to edge beyond simple irritation at the stooges. Hikari couldn't be certain Asuka's remarks were intentionally loud enough for the boys to hear, but it seemed that way.
It wasn't something Hikari felt like she could admonish Asuka for, or put in the energy to do. Asuka was Asuka.
Hikari took a breath to answer Asuka's question. "Asuka, I told you, grades are confidential."
Asuka whirled back to Hikari. "But you just told me you aren't tutoring anyone else yet. Not even Suzuhara."
"Yes," a defeated Hikari sighed for many reasons, "I did say that."
Asuka flashed the wicked smile of a cat satisfied she got the mouse she pounced on. Her red hair whirled as she stared back at the boys. After a moment she uttered, "He doesn't apply himself."
"Huh?"
"Shinji." Asuka replied without facing her. "He never does anything. He just sits there and lets life happen to him." She turned her head to face forward and said with her eyes closed, "He's pathetic and boring."
Hikari's eyes darted from Asuka to Shinji, thinking about their tutoring sessions so far, and knowing what Asuka said wasn't strictly true.
But she couldn't say any of that. Asuka could be unpredictable when refuted. And something in Hikari, oddly, didn't want to tell her anyway.
Asuka's eyes opened and jumped to Hikari. "So what are you tutoring him on, or is that classified too?"
"Oh!" Hikari replied, "No. I'm helping him with our next writing assignment."
"The second impact one?" Asuka replied and rolled her eyes, folded her arms together on the desk, and rested her head on them. "As if any other subject is covered in this class…" she muttered. Her head popped up, "What's he doing it on?"
Hikari blinked, then said, "You know, you could ask him these questions yourself."
Asuka lowered her head. "That's a useless suggestion. He' ll just preemptively apologize and say it wasnt important anyway."
Hikari stared at Asuka as an epiphany occurred to her. She looked over at Shinji. She's giving up before she's even tried. It's not in her nature to try being anything she doesn't want to be.
Hikari's fingers flexed as she held her hands together before her, considering what she could say to Asuka. But it also occurred to her… not to say anything. Not just because she knew Asuka wouldn't take that advice anyway… but… Hikari didn't want to. And she didn't know why.
Her head lowered. She really was a digusting, selfish person, using one acquaintance and snubbing a friend for it. All for what? She looked up.
Her eyes looked over at the stooges. Toji's back was to her, she couldn't see his expression from here. Her eyes glanced to Shinji, who was wearing an appreciative grin as he listened to Toji.
She sighed and looked away.
After school Shinji stood in the elevator at NERV on his way to a regular harmonics test. He held his bag in his hands as he thought over what he wanted to say.
Ayanami was in the elevator. Asuka, Shinji assumed, had gone ahead.
Shinji stared at the wall. It always occurred to him when he was with her to remember that scene he witnessed on the gantry of Rei's reactivation test. Rei was close enough to his father… for that. And thinking of the subject of his paper…
Even after their battles and training together, Shinji never got an answer for what that was about. What was Ayanami's relationship to his father? Would he ever learn?
Not unless he asked… but that wasn't something he could do directly. It wasn't as if he was acquainted with Ayanami personally.
He sighed and swallowed nervously, because he knew why he thought of this. Parents and families changed by the second impact. He wanted to know now what his father went through.
"Ikari." Rei suddenly said without turning, startling him.
"Uh, yes?"
"You have something you wish to ask me." She said.
"W-what makes you think so?"
"Your typical pattern in this space is to ask me how my day is." Rei replied, "then you ponder aloud which option you will make for dinner in Major Katsuragi's residence. Neither of these things has happened, so you must have something on your mind."
Shinji looked away, called out and a little creeped out over Rei's precision. "Its um…" he tried to pick what to say, "the… uh… second impact paper! I um… I wanted to know... what you were going to write."
That wasn't what Shinji really wanted to ask, but it filled the space. Rei said nothing as he sighed out his tension, then she said, "I am writing about the theory of the existential self."
Shinji blinked. "W-what?"
"It is a social theory that spawned from the turmoil of the second impact." Rei added. She turned her head a little. "What are you writing about?"
"Huh? U-um…" Shinji stumbled. He went from confusion over Rei's subject back to the uneasiness around his father. He swallowed. "I'm writing a-about how the second impact… affected families. Especially…. Parents…" Shinji trailed off.
Rei didn't say anything at first, which for a second made Shinji wonder if she found the topic uninteresting. She only responded with, "I see."
Shinji didn't know where to begin discussing Rei's subject, and uncertain how she found his, he fell silent. They were quiet for the rest of the ride.
Hikari stared numly into the pot as she stirred the soup. She was thinking about tommorrow, after school.
Today wasn't encouraging. After school ended she had tried to get close to Suzuhara by mustering the nerve to ask him to stay back and help her with classroom cleanup. He preempted her, waving her away as he exited the room. "Sorry class rep, gotta see my sis tonight."
Hikari let him go, both touched at his responsibility to his sister and disappointed that she didn't even have a chance to get his attention.
As she added the next few ingredients for the soup she made herself focus on what she was going to do tomorrow in order to get closer to Toji through Shinji. Maybe… she could ask him how they were doing with their papers. From there she could ask on the sly about Suzuhara… no, that would be too obvious. She would need to be more general and indirect. Take it slow.
But she also didn't have a lot of time. If she was successful, Shinji's grades would improve and she would no longer need to tutor him. It was a way out, at least, so she could leave helping Shinji at just that. But it would be a wasted opportunity.
She set her face with determination. If tomorrow didn't get her any closer to Toji, she would leave her efforts at that and stop deceiving Ikari.
"One more try." Hikari uttered under her breath, and she stirred the pot again. "One more…"
Shinji came through the door later than he intended to. He made it down the hall and into the kitchen and set his bag on the table. he sighed.
It was then that Asuka appeared in the kitchen. "Finally you're back, what kept you?!"
"Sorry." Shinji replied as he started getting himself a glass of water. "Doctor Akagi held me back for some questions. By the time i left, i missed the train."
"Misato didn't just drive you?"
Shinji glanced at her, meeting the indignation on her face with a hesitant one of his own. Misato had told all of them, after their test, that she was going to be late coming home. Was Asuka not listening?
He turned back to the sink. "She said she was working late… remember?"
Asuka stared at him, then grunted. "Fine. Just make dinner, I'm already hungry!" Her long legs stepped out of the kitchen through the partition into the living room. Shinji's eyes focused on her torso, wasp waist, then curtain of red hair as he watched her plop down on one of the folding chairs. He winced as he noticed the TV wasn't on... wasn't she watching TV?
He sighed and got dinner started. He worked in silence, undisturbed, until the curry was ready.
"Okay," he called from the kitchen, "Dinner's ready!"
"Bring it in here!" Asuka replied from the living room.
Shinji's brain froze as he assumed Asuka meant the entire dinner. He tried to think of everything he'd need to bring to the table: serving bowls, spoons, drinks... "Uhhh… all of it?"
"What are you talking about?" Asuka replied and her face whirled to Shinji. They stared at one another for a few seconds before Asuka connected the dots. She spat a German word then barked, "Idiot! Bring a bowl with my dinner in it, third! It's not hard!"
"S-sorry…" Shinji replied and set about preparing a bowl. When he brought it to her he finally discovered what she was doing. Laid out on the table was her school laptop, a couple of open books, and a few scattered papers. He landed the bowl on an open spot just out of the way, saying, "Here you go."
Asuka muttered her thanks as she stared at the laptop and looked over her work.
Shinji stepped away to the kitchen but slowed and stopped to look at her again. "Um… Asuka?"
"What?"
"Are you working on the paper? For class?"
She turned to look at him. "What else do you think this could be?"
"S-sorry..," Shinji recoiled, "I… I was just-"
"Yes, it's the paper." Asuka said, cutting him off and turning back to the computer. Her left hand groped for the bowl and she brought it to her lap after finding it. She whirled her face to look at him and saw him standing there. "What is it?"
Shinji snapped out of his thinking. "H-uh?"
"You're standing there awkwardly like you have a question. Spit it out!"
"Oh! Um…" Shinji scratched the back of his head. "I… was… just… wondering what you were writing about."
"Why? You picked your topic yet?" She shifted in her seat, "Isn't Hikari helping you?"
"Well, yes, but-"
"So why do you want to know?"
"I-i was just curious!" Shinji piped, then toned after, "I just wanted to know if mine was any good."
Asuka considered him critically, then turned back to her paper. "I'm doing the evolution of the UN and reordering of world power." She glanced over his shoulder at him.
Shinji stammered his response, "T-thth- that sounds important!!"
"Of course it is. If you want a good paper, you talk about big ideas and big concepts."
Shinji's first thought was to compare this to his own paper's vastly smaller premise. "Oh…" he uttered. Then he remembered how Hikari, class rep, approved of his subject and how much his premise mattered to him.
In that moment Shinji wondered what thought process lead Asuka into choosing hers. Before he could think further on it, Asuka turned to him and asked with a tone of dull skepticism, "What about you, what are you doing?"
Immediately Shinji realized how unimpressive his topic would sound next to hers. "Uh… I'm… I don't know…"
Asuka turned on her torso to face him now. "Wasn't Hikari working with you?"
"She is… I… just don't know if I'll stick with it."
"What have you got so far?"
Shinji swallowed as he took a small step back. "Its… um…" He swallowed, "it's… about… parents. Parents and how that changed with the second impact."
"Parents." Asuka repeated with skepticism.
Shinji then realized he hadn't been clear. He shook his head and tried to overcome his nerves, "Parenting! Family dynamics! That… sort of thing." Shinji finally squeezed out of his chest.
Asuka stared at him for a moment more, then canted her head back with a lopsided grin. "Can't resist making your issues about your dad into a research project, huh?"
Asuka's mocking tone put Shinji on the defensive, "W-what do you mean?"
She turned back to her paper, "You know, some people go into psychology just to understand their own issues. I guess I shouldn't be surprised you'd do something like that to understand your own dad."
"W-whats wrong with that?" Shinji asked, color coming to his face.
"Nothing, I guess." Asuka replied with a dismissive air. "I'm not gonna stop you from airing your issues all over class for everyone to see."
Shinji wanted to continue objecting by mentioning Hikari's subject, but it didn't feel proper to do so. Instead he balled his fists, grumbled, and went into the kitchen to eat his dinner alone. He didn't see Asuka's haughty expression drop into one of tired disgust. She glanced at the empty space at the table she had left for Shinji to work beside her, then doubled down on her own work.