Camp Cretaceous: What Do We Do Now?

by Ecaetheerein

We thought it'd be fun… We thought we'd be safe… But we didn't realize the horror waiting for us on the island. Claws, teeth, screaming… so much screaming. But despite the challenges, we survived the night. Well... some of us. And now that we've been left on the island, we're faced with the challenge of surviving until help arrives... If it arrives...

59. Ep59 Before You Go

Author's note:

Ughhhh, I didn't mean to take this long, but I've been busy and dealing with writing burn out. But it's out, and that's all that matters.

I will say, after this chapter, there's probably only going to be 8 or 12 more chapters, give or take, before we wrap things up... It's bittersweet to think about, but this story has to end somewhere... It's been about 3 years of this amazing journey. So many memories. So many great fans. So many great quotes. (I'm considering putting "Hold on till the sunrise" on a T-shirt and wearing it.) If you could, what quotes from this story would you put on a shirt? Or what funny inside jokes/moments would you put on a shirt?

This chapter is Darius's, named after the song Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi.

Warnings: You guys get the drill. *Sexual assault, suicide.* At this point, there's nothing really new. If you've gotten this far, you know what to expect. With each chapter, we get more details on Brooklynn's secret, though, so fair warning.

Speaking of, I would like to bring up a little movie called "Sound of Freedom" currently in theaters. (at least, in the U.S.A.) It's about Tim Ballard, the founder of the Operation Underground Railroad, devoted to rescuing kids from human trafficking and catching pedophiles. The movie was very good. It's gotten a lot of bad attention in the media. Why, I don't know. It's a very compelling story about saving children from sex trafficking. There was zero political agenda like some people have claimed. It was tasteful with no explicity. Hard to stomach, but nothing visual to trigger anything. If you've read this story with Brooklynn's secret, you could handle the movie. I'm not getting paid or sponsored (how can I, this is fanfiction. You can't make money off of this site, ha), I personally decided to raise awareness for this movie. These subjects are hard to think about, but it needs to be talked about and addressed so that society can begin to work towards fixing it.

Now that all the talking is done, you may dive into this long awaited chapter. Enjoy!

---

"Brooklynn!" Yasmina screams, searching the living room as they burst through the front door.

"Brook!" Darius shouts, glancing in the kitchen. Nothing amiss. No blood. No body lying on the floor. No kitchen knife cutting up his friend.

"Brooklynn!" Yasmina screams, looking in every direction possible.

Milton's dog was howling upstairs. Was there a reason for it? "She's got to be in her room!" he says, racing up the stairs as fast as he could. He cracks the door open carefully, unsure what he would find, with the possibility of her being behind the door. He spots her lying beside the desk and throws the door open. "Brooklynn!" He rushes towards her.

Sprawled out next to her desk, Brooklynn laid lifelessly. Her skin was deathly pale and beaded with sweat. Vomit was everywhere. On the floor, on her arms, on her face, in her hair. Her phone was within grabbing, and her arms were frozen, reaching out for it. Like she regretted her decision…

"Brook! No!" Yasmina collapses next to him.

"No, please, Brooklynn!" he turns her over on her back. There was no response or movement from her. It didn't even look like she was breathing. "Wake up! Please!" he taps her cheek. "Wake up!"

A choking sound escapes her lips.

"She's alive!" Yasmina cries with relief.

"Brook! Brook!" Darius is not so fast to celebrate, trying to get more of a response out of her. He tries tapping her cheek, feeling her pulse… It was weak. Very weak.

"No, no, no, no, no! Don't fade on me!"

Her breath was shallow and rapid. Her lips were discolored. She wasn't getting enough oxygen.

"Come on, breathe! Breathe! Come back!"

What had she done?

"What did you do?"

There were no cut marks.

"No knife around. No blood. She didn't slice herself to death…"

No signs of suffocation or strangling.

"No rope. No string. She's not tied up. Why can't she breathe well then?"

She looked like she was poisoned…

"Did she drink bleach? Bug killer? Poison?"

Then it dawned on him.

"She overdosed…" he whispers, tapping her again. "Wake up. Please, wake up! Brooklynn! You have to live!"

Something smacks him in the face, shocking him. He turns to look at Yasmina, who was completely pale. She had her phone in one hand, holding it to her ear. Her words which he had heard but hadn't processed initially come back. "Ambulance? Will they make it?"

"What?" he blinks in confusion? Ambulance? Where did she think they were?!

"We're not on the island. We're not on the island!" the realization that came was a huge relief, but it was short lived.

Brooklynn's condition was fatal… They couldn't waste time. "N-No! They won't make it in time!" he says as Yasmina begins to talk to the dispatcher.

He turns back to Brooklynn. "Please," he begs, agonizing as Brooklynn begins to seize. He turns her over, knowing she'd suffocate on her own bile if she laid on her back.

After retching barely anything, her body desperately trying to get rid of the toxin, Brooklynn inhales horribly and opens her eyes. "Brooklynn!" he exclaims with relief, pulling her upper body into his lap. He cradles her gently in his arms, watching as her eyes swim back and forth hazily.

She finally regains enough awareness to focus on his face. She gives him a blank and pained look before she recognizes him. She tries to say his name, but her speech was slurred. "I… I'm sorry…" she tries her best to get out before her strength is zapped. Her eyes go white as they roll back.

"Brooklynn?" he gently shakes her, numb in shock. She doesn't answer, and the shock turns to panic. "Brooklynn? Brooklynn!"

Darius looks to Yasmina for help, but she's not there. "Yaz," he whispers, even more frightened than before. Brooklynn was completely unresponsive now, and her pulse was even weaker than before.

He gets to his knees and picks Brooklynn up under her arms, dragging her out of her room. He can hear ragged, uneven breathing that almost sounded like screaming, and Darius takes a moment to check on Brooklynn. Suddenly, Yasmina was there, her hand on his shoulder, panickedly telling him to breathe.

He realized the ragged breathing was coming from him.

"Grab her arms!" Yasmina snaps hoarsely. "We're driving her there, the ambulance will meet us on the road!"

Darius picks Brooklynn up, resting her head against his chest. Yasmina holds Brooklynn's legs and starts down the stairs first. It's agonizingly slow going with Yasmina struggling to hold up Brooklynn and maneuver her prosthetic down the stairs, but they managed to get Brooklynn down without falling.

Yasmina sets Brooklynn down and roughly shoves Darius away so she could fully pick up their friend. Darius scrambles to open the front door and then the back of the car. He moves in first and takes Brooklynn as Yasmina hands her to him. Her pulse was still too weak as Yasmina jumps in the front seat. The tires screech as she floors it in reverse, and Darius has to brace himself against the front seat to steady himself and Brooklynn.

As Yasmina speeds through the neighborhood, Darius holds onto Brooklynn, hoping she was clinging to life as hard as he was clinging to her. "Don't give up," he whispers, watching her chest rise and fall so shallowly that he had to check her pulse just to make sure she was still there. "Please… Just hold on!"

"Brooklynn!" Yasmina shouted.

Darius rushed to the railing and grabbed Brooklynn, holding her tightly in fear. "I'm not letting go," he promised.

She broke down sobbing as the group pulled her back over the railing. "I can't," she tried to explain. "I don't… I'm not… Death… I deserve it…"

The others gave her reassurance. "We would miss you so much," he told her, pressing his lips to her forehead. She was burning with fever.

Except now she was cold. Her body heat was dimming. She was cold and clammy and barely breathing.

Darius barely has time to brace himself and Brooklynn before Yasmina slams on the brakes. He hits his head before looking up. They were at a light and turning left, having almost hit a car. There was a bit of going and stopping from both cars before Yasmina went, getting honked at in the process.

"Yaz, don't get us in a crash," Darius breathes, shaking as he looks back down at Brooklynn. There was still no response from her… And there wouldn't be if they crashed.

"Brook, look," he whispered, gesturing to the beautiful sunrise.

"It's beautiful…" she murmured, a small tear slipping out.

"See what you almost missed," he smiled down at her, thankful she survived the horrendous night. "This beautiful sunrise. The night might be dark and scary."

She looked up at him from within his protective, comforting touch.

"It might beat you down, and you might wonder if you'll make it. But just think, if you give up during the night, you'll miss the beauty of the sunrise. Never give up, Brooklynn. Hold on through the night to see the sunrise."

She let out a small whimper.

"Just fight a little longer," he encouraged. "It's worth it. Just hold on during the night, I'll find you. You'll never be alone. I'll find you."

Darius looks out the window at the buildings passing by. It was pitch black. There was no sunrise yet. They were in the dark of night. It was midnight…

"Just hold on," he cries, looking back down at his dying friend. "Just hold on! The sun will rise! But not if you give up! Just hold on till the sunrise!"

There was no response from Brooklynn… Only the wailing of sirens behind them as the ambulance finds them and follows them to the hospital.

Yasmina flies into the parking lot and screeches to a stop. Time slows for Darius. The lights. So many flashing lights blurring his vision.

The wailing of sirens crushing his ears. Getting louder. Voices. People talking.

Brooklynn. They take Brooklynn. She wasn't in his arms.

The world. Spinning. His vision was swimming. Shapes were moving.

Yasmina grabs his arm. His feet are moving. He's in the building. He can't stop moving. Yasmina won't let him.

This wasn't real.

This can't be real.

Brooklynn… Where was Brooklynn?!

Darius forces his vision to focus, though it's hard with all the bright hospital lights. Yasmina is dragging him as fast as she could. They were following doctors as they wheeled a bed through the halls. A nurse was atop Brooklynn giving compressions as they went. It didn't feel real…

Brooklynn's bed is wheeled into a room and the doors are closed.

Darius shakes his arm free from Yasmina's tight grip and tries to look into the room, but he's pulled aside. Leaning against the wall across from the door, he watches as doctors and nurses rush into the room. He can hear the urgency from inside. Outside the room was muffled. Shouting. Yelling. Commotion out of the corner of his eye. But it didn't matter. It couldn't matter. Brooklynn was in there. Brooklynn was in that room, barely breathing, body quivering with poison.

Was she? This couldn't be happening…

He couldn't get her out of his head… That lifeless, dead look on her face… Her color… Her breath… Her pulse…

How…

How could she be dying? She couldn't be dying. Brooklynn couldn't be dying. They tried so hard to keep her alive. She couldn't… She couldn't have tried… They were watching her…

But she did… She took her chance… She took the opportunity…

She was in that operating room, life hanging in the balance…

He takes a chance and moves to the door, looking through the small window in the door. There were so many people in there, he only got glimpses of her.

Then the doctors pull out the paddles and shock her.

His chest spasms as Brooklynn's body jerks. The paddles might as well have shocked him. But there was no response from her. The doctors shock her a second time, and Darius clutches at his heart. He could feel the electricity himself. He could feel the paddles. It was going through him instead of Brooklynn! But it didn't do a thing for her… "Come back! Brooklynn! Come back! Please! I can feel it! Feel it! Come back! They're shocking you, not me!"

"Hey, you can't be over here, you're in the way," a nurse tells him, gently grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the window.

Darius watches the door get further and further away. Brooklynn get further and further away. Her heart stopping. His heart threatening to do the same.

Should he fight? Fight to get to her?

Was she alive? Was she something to fight for?

"Is she even worth fighting for now? Is she too far gone?"

The nurse drags him to the waiting room, and he stands there, right where she placed him. The room was spinning in a circle. The walls closing in. The sound assaulting his ears. Everything was pressing in. Brooklynn… She was who knows how far away from him. She… She…

"This can't be real…"

This was a nightmare. It couldn't be happening. Brooklynn couldn't be dying… She couldn't be dying… She couldn't be dying!

His best friend… She couldn't… She couldn't be dying…

He couldn't lose her…

"Are you okay?" somebody asks him.

Darius takes a second to turn. It was an older lady, looking him up and down in concern. "Do you need help? Are you okay?" she asks again.

His breath wasn't… wasn't breathing right… He wasn't okay… Brooklynn… She wasn't okay… Was she alive? He wasn't okay… He needed help. His friend was dying… She needed help.

"Where are your parents?" the lady asks. "Who-Who did you come here with? Do you need to use the phone?"

Yasmina. Where was she? Where did she go?! "My-my…" he starts looking around for her. Did she get brought back to the waiting room? Where did she go?! "I don't…" he stutters.

"Do you want to call your parents?" the lady offers him her phone.

"I don't know… her number," he panics, realizing he didn't have his phone. And he didn't know anyone's phone number. His mother had made him memorize hers from an early age, but in the shock, he couldn't recall it.

He had no way to call anyone. He didn't know where Yasmina was. There was no one there. No one to help him. No one to help Brooklynn.

"You don't know your parents phone number?" the lady asks, more of a disappointed sigh than a question.

"I…" he trails off. There was only one phone number he could recall at the moment… His father's…

His father had flatlined… The steady beeping of the heart monitor went flat, and an alarm went off, alerting the hospital staff. His father went still, the life leaving him. "Noooo!" Darius choked. It couldn't have happened. It couldn't. He couldn't be gone!

"She… She flatlined…" Darius stutters out. No… Brooklynn… She couldn't… Did they save her? Could they save her?

Did flatlining mean death?

His dream came back… A dream that had haunted him in his waking moments… A cut, bloody Brooklynn stood on her knees, panting. From behind her, a figure appeared and gently touched her shoulder. "Come," his father said. "Come home with me."

It had been a dream… It was just a dream…

And yet…

It hits him, knocking him to the ground. She was dying… Brooklynn… was dying… There was nothing he could do… For either of them… The two people he loved the most… One dead, the other close… Or possibly there already.

He couldn't… This couldn't… It… Brooklynn…

Someone attempts to get his attention, but he pulls his knees to his chest. He couldn't cry. He couldn't speak. He couldn't do anything.

It was too much.

This was all too much. He couldn't lose his best friend…

This couldn't be happening…

---

Time passes too slowly and not fast enough at the same time. No one came by to give him any updates. He still didn't know where Yasmina was. He didn't know if Brooklynn was alive or not… His heart was pounding, made worse by the thought that Brooklynn's heart might not be beating at all…

The only thing not sending him into a full downward spiral was the nice lady and her son in the waiting room. He had created a mantra using them that he kept repeating in his head to keep himself somewhat sane. Repeating these facts was getting tedious and beginning to lose it's desired effect. But it was relevant enough to the situation to keep him from completely losing touch with reality, while also not hitting close enough to trigger a mental breakdown that was building with every second that passed. Every second of not knowing whether his best friend was alive or not…

"I'm in the waiting room…" he restarts, triggered by the thought of Brooklynn being dead at the very moment. "With Eliza and her son, Colton… He's in the hospital because of a shard of glass in his arm. It's been taken care of… They're waiting to be dismissed…"

"... Is Brooklynn gone?"

And the facts repeat again…

"Darius!" someone calls his name.

He looks up to see his mother, and moves forward, accepting her hug with relief. He chokes back his tears, trying to hold it together. "She tried to kill herself," he croaks, feeling sick to his stomach remembering the night and all it's horrors as he buries his face in her shoulder. "She… She didn't want to live… We couldn't… we couldn't keep her here…"

They had tried so hard… They had fought so hard to keep her. They had fought so hard to prevent this. They had tried everything… How many times had they told her just how much they loved her? How many hours had they spent protectively watching her? How many hours had they spent worrying and agonizing over this possible outcome? How could this not have been prevented?!

"I don't know what I want to live for…" he said on the island. "For almost a year, my dream was to go to Jurassic World, and… live out the dream that my Dad and I had. Now, I want to make sure all my friends live and get off the island… Both those dreams seem to be going downhill… I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can keep you guys alive and safe. I'm so scared of losing you guys! It's on my mind all day! This constant anxiety that I won't be able to protect you guys…"

Darius shuts his eyes tightly. The fear… It was coming true… All those hours and days and weeks of worrying. All those scenarios of Brooklynn ending her life… And one of them became reality…

"You're overprotective!" Brooklynn snapped at him. "You don't have to worry about protecting me all the time. We're not in immediate danger."

"And look how that went…" he thinks, barely holding it together. He had a right to be worried. He should've been worried. He should've been more worried. He should've been more careful! She was wrong! He wasn't overprotective, he was underprotective! He had failed her! She had slipped through his protective grasp! He should've held on tighter…

A doctor approached his mother and after confirming that she was the closest thing to a parent that Brooklynn had at that moment, he asked them to step into another room to talk about Brooklynn's condition. "Uh, hold on," she stutters.

"No, how is she?" Darius moves back to look at the doctor. "Is she alive? Will she make it?"

"Darius," his mother starts.

"She can't be gone!" Darius whimpers desperately.

"Darius, please," Mrs. Bowman says softly, but firmly. "Yasmina is out in the parking lot, go see her."

"I have to see Brooklynn!" he argues.

"Milton," his mother sighs. "Please, bring him outside."

Darius turns around to see Milton nod. He moves forward to take Darius's arm and he yanks it out of the older boy's reach. "Mom, please!" He turns back to her. She couldn't be doing this to him! He had to see her! He had to know! Why would she make him wait outside? He had to know!

"Come on…" Milton mumbles, barely trying to keep Darius from moving forward and disobeying his mother.

Darius watches in disbelief as his Mother walks away with the doctor. How could this be happening?! Brooklynn was his best friend! He watched her convulse and heave and choke while dying! He held her in his arms as her pulse weakened, her breath starting to cease! He drove her to the hospital! She had been dying in his arms! His best friend had been dying in his arms as he and Yasmina desperately tried to save her! And he wasn't allowed to know if she was even alive or dead?!

Darius whips around to face Milton, the boy holding him back from hearing about Brooklynn's condition. No, the boy who had abandoned Brooklynn in the first place. Her brother! Her stupid brother who had abandoned her! He shouldn't have been put in charge of Brooklynn! He couldn't be trusted with his sister! That selfish, insolent, unattentive, apathetic, son of a—

"Let's listen in while they think we're gone," Milton suggests, letting go of Darius's arm.

Darius calms his rising rage to a simmering smolder, secretly glaring as they follow his Mother and the doctor. He could wait to go off on Milton… He wanted to know if Brooklynn was alive or dead first.

The two find the room and crack open the door so that they could listen. "We had to induce a coma," the doctor explained. "She flatlined twice. We barely brought her back. Her diagnosis is very grim."

Darius's heart plunges to his stomach.

"Even if she were to wake up, which is very unlikely at this point," the doctor sighs, "the extensive damage done to her body would make living any normal life impossible. The drugs have done too much damage to her brain. Her organs are failing. If she wakes up, it's very possible she won't be able to walk again. Her mental function won't be what it used to be. If she even wakes up, she might have to be on life support for the rest of her life. Her parents or legal guardians need to be here."

"We're trying to get ahold of them," Mrs. Bowman explains tiredly. "Thank you… for… trying…"

Darius leans against the door frame dizzily. His vision is swimming. Brooklynn… Might never wake up… And if she did, was it even Brooklynn? Would she ever be the same? If she ever woke up?

Darius is vaguely aware of his mother opening the door and finding them. He supposed she was scolding the two of them for eavesdropping, and he was being escorted out to the parking lot, but none of that mattered… Brooklynn would never wake up… She would never come back…

"Where is your Mom? Why can't we get a hold of her?" he hears his mother ask.

"Mom had a late night shift," Milton's voice brings Darius back. "Dad, too. I haven't been able to get in contact with either of them. Dad's not answering and Brooklynn said Mom's phone died… Brook was the last one to talk to Mom… She said her phone died, and that Mom was a few minutes away from home…"

That rage swells up again and Darius turns on him. "You were supposed to be watching her!" he shouts, advancing. "You were supposed to be in the house with her! Where were you?!"

Milton flinches and steps back, while Mrs. Bowman calls his name. Darius couldn't care less. "She was home alone! You left her! You left her! Why?!"

"Darius, stop!" his mother moves to grab him.

"She's dying in there and it's your fault!" Darius shouts, striking Milton in the face.

Someone grabs his arms from behind and pulls him back with great strength. Spitting insults, foul words and whatever he can think of to cut Milton verbally, Darius struggles against Ghaleb. "You were given the job of watching her to make sure this exact thing didn't happen!" he seethes, refusing to be silenced. "Where were you?!"

Milton is silent, and when he finally speaks, it's barely audible. "I had… a date waiting… Brooklynn said Mom was a few minutes away… She… I guess… She pretended to be on the phone with you… I thought she was… I thought she'd be safe… She'd only be alone for a few minutes and she'd be talking to you… I didn't know she'd be alone long enough to do this… I didn't know she wanted to… truly…"

"You shouldn't have left her!" he yells. "Brooklynn's dying now because you left her! This is your fault! Some great big brother you are! You let your sister die!"

"Darius, that is enough!" his mother steps over and physically silences him.

Instead of defending himself, Milton silently cries. "I know… I know…" His last words were so quiet, Darius could barely hear them. "I'm sorry…"

Darius stops struggling. He could feel it. He could feel the guilt. The overwhelming guilt of it all soaking through Milton's words… He hated Milton… He hated Milton for what he did. He abandoned Brooklynn when she needed to be watched. And it resulted in this! Brooklynn attempted suicide! She possibly succeeded! And it wouldn't be possible without Milton's contribution of abandoning his sister!

And he knew it… Milton knew it… He was going to have to live the rest of his life knowing that… For the rest of his life, he would carry the burden of knowing his younger sister was dead because of his negligence… His actions directly allowed her to kill herself… As much as Darius hated Milton… As bad of an older brother as Darius thought he was… He did care about Brooklynn… He did love her… And he did try to change and be better… He wasn't trying to let her die… He made a mistake… A big mistake, but it wasn't on purpose…

Losing Brooklynn would crush Darius's world… But even though Milton didn't have the special bond that Darius and Brooklynn had… The weight of the guilt would crush his world in a different way… One that Darius couldn't fully understand…

… Maybe he did. His dream, another one that haunted him, comes back. The wood floor of the stage turns to burning coals beneath Brooklynn's ballet shoes. Her shoes start to catch fire and little flames lick at the bottoms of her slippers.

"Brooklynn!" Darius shouted. The other campers shouted their warnings, too.

Brooklynn glanced at them, but refused to run to safety. Instead, she continued dancing with the fire jumping dangerously close to her legs, completely unaware of the danger she was in at that moment. The fires continued to reach higher and higher and burn through her shoes, but Brooklynn still continued to dance. The campers shouted and screamed at her, but she wouldn't listen. Yasmina tried to go out and grab her, but couldn't due to the fire. Darius stood just on the edge of the coals, watching in horror as his friend went up in flames.

"I had a warning… I was warned! I knew she was in trouble! I knew she needed help! I didn't do enough!" guilt comes hammering.

No… They'd both be living with the guilt… Milton for abandoning Brooklynn, and Darius for not doing enough… He didn't do enough… If he had done more, would she still be here? Could this have been prevented? Was Brooklynn gone because he didn't do enough?

Darius sinks to the ground, unable to cry. Unable to think of anything other than the thought that maybe… if he had done more… done something different… none of this would've happened…

---

Darius sits slouched on the sidewalk near the ER entrance. His heart was aching. His stomach was churning with anxiety and grief. This pit in his stomach felt like lead, weighing down painfully. There was a sharp pain poking into his chest, like a knife stabbing his heart.

This was too much to take in… He'd have thought he could process this turn of events better than he was after all the worrying he had done. Somedays all he could think about was Brooklynn trying to kill herself. Now that she did… He couldn't believe it. It actually happened. The memory of holding her in his arms, lifeless as they sped to the hospital was only about an hour ago. His adrenaline had been high. Every muscle in his body tense as his heart pounded rapidly.

Now his adrenaline had dissipated and he was left to shake weakly. All his energy was threatening to leave his body and leave him a trembling mess on the floor. He had no idea why he wasn't broken on the ground, unable to even move. He felt like he should be… His body was in shock. He was in shock. He couldn't believe it… He didn't want to believe it…

He glances down at his shirt. It was stained with vomit. Brooklynn's vomit… The thought made him want to cry… But no tears would be produced. His mind rejected the idea… He couldn't believe it was hers… Cause then… Then that horrible nightmare was real… He couldn't cry… He couldn't accept this as reality…

"Hey, D," Brandon sighs, sitting down next to his brother on the sidewalk. "Come here," he whispers, wrapping his arm around Darius's shoulder.

Darius looks up at his brother. Neither of them were crying because neither of them could, but for very different reasons. Darius couldn't cry. Tears just wouldn't come out. To cry would be to accept reality… Accept what happened to Brooklynn… Accept that there was a higher chance of never seeing her again than there was of her surviving… To accept that he and the others failed her. That he was losing his best friend. He was in shock, and his mind refused to accept everything at the moment… Self-preservation. Protection. He couldn't process it… So he couldn't cry.

Brandon couldn't cry because he had to be strong. His jaw was clenched and every muscle in his face was tight. He was giving it his all to keep from crying. Brooklynn was like his younger sister, and Milton had become his best friend. Darius was his younger brother… The pain of knowing what happened to Brooklynn… The anger and conflicted feelings towards his best friend… The feeling of watching his younger brother go through something so hard… It had to be wreaking havoc on the inside. But Brandon refused to show it. He wouldn't cry. He wasn't going to cry. Not in front of Darius at least…

"She's in a coma," Darius murmurs numbly. "Is she going to wake up?"

"Yeah… She can," Brandon assures him.

Darius thinks for a moment. "How long can she go before she'll never wake up?"

"I've heard the longest someone's been in a coma was twenty-nine years, and she woke up," Brandon informs him. "She can come back if she stays on life support."

"And if they pull the plug?" Darius asks.

Brandon's jaw tightens. "It… It's too early right now for them to think about doing that."

That pit of dread forms again. Darius pulls his knees closer to his chest, unable to accept that as reality… Brooklynn… dead… because the doctors gave up on her? No, that couldn't… couldn't be an option…

"Do you need a tissue?" a girl awkwardly offers.

Darius looks up at her. Pale ginger in sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt. He didn't know her… "I… I'm good?"

The girl holds her arm with one hand and the box of tissues in the other, looking down at the sidewalk. "I'm… sorry about everything."

"It's not your fault," Brandon sighs.

Darius can only lift an eyebrow.

"I'm Clem," she introduces herself. "Milton and I… had a date tonight."

"Ohhhh," he tilts his head back. "What are you doing here?"

"I came with Milton," she explains. "We cut the date short as soon as you texted him. It… was probably going to be cut short, anyway, even if you hadn't."

"Bad first date?" Darius asks dryly, refraining from saying something horrible about Milton again.

"Just… He didn't feel right about leaving her," Clementia admits. "He kept reasoning with himself that she had called you and that their Mom was back home. But she wasn't answering after a while and it… I think his heart knew she wasn't okay… But… I don't think he wanted to believe that she would really do that. And I think he felt bad about canceling on me again. We've had to cancel so many times and delay the date until later because he had to watch her. He was about to go back and check on her when you texted."

Darius nods solemnly. It made him angry that Milton had a bad feeling and didn't listen to it… But then again… It was Yasmina who sensed something was wrong, not him… So it wasn't like Darius was the first to act…

He should've been… Darius and Brooklynn… They had a special connection. A crazy special connection… It was so unique and different. There was no one else like her. No one else who got him. No one else he felt this way about…

He was… in love… So deeply in love with her… He was still put off by some aspects of love, which had led to him denying his feelings. But he couldn't deny it anymore. He loved Brooklynn. He loved her in a way he couldn't describe… She felt like family, but not really like family. She wasn't like a sister. Definitely not a sister. She was more than a friend… She wasn't his lover. Not yet. She wasn't his girlfriend. Darling didn't sound right… They weren't married, so it felt weird to say his other half… And soulmate sounded so cliche…

But at the same time, she felt like she completed him. Their connection felt meant to be. She was more than family. She was more than a friend, more than a best friend even. She could become a lover and a wife. They didn't have to have the stars align to be in love. Brooklynn was a part of him. Not just his life. Him. She truly felt like his other half. She completed him. Life without her… Future without her… It just felt so empty. Like a black hole in his heart had opened up… A black hole where she was being torn away from him…

His heart… and her heart… beating in sync… Beating together forever…

Now they were beating out of sync… Her heart, slow. His heart, fast… Hers, dying. His, pounding… No longer one heart… Now they were two hearts…

And maybe… very soon… it would be just one heart beating alone…

But their future! She had to live! Brooklynn had to wake up! They had to stay together! Their hearts beating as one! Their lives helplessly entangled with no hope of ever separating! They had a future! They had a family! They had a life that would never be fulfilled without the other!

As the group heads back into the hospital, Darius clings to the vision he got in his near death experience. The vision of his daughter… She was unmistakably his, and equally unmistakably Brooklynn's daughter. Her eyes were soft brown, but beyond that, entirely Brooklynn's. Her smile was wide and toothy and reminded Darius of his father… Brooklynn seemed to pass on her love of pink…

She was so beautiful… So precious to him and she didn't even exist yet… He wanted her to exist. He knew she would exist… But not if Brooklynn didn't wake up…

The thought that this precious little baby… might never exist… That Brooklynn might never wake up… That this hole she was ripping in his heart might never be filled again with her presence…

"What happened?"

Darius turns around. Kenji was approaching him, looking hurried and anxious.

Suddenly he was crying. Sobbing. He was in the arms of Kenji and his legs were buckling. Reality had hit like a lightning bolt and his strength was zapped. "D-Darius," Kenji stutters, scrambling to catch him.

Darius had no strength left to help him as he messily collapses into Kenji's arms. Everything collapses. His world was caving in. Collapsing on top of him. The room felt suffocating. Everything was closing in and squeezing him. He was losing Brooklynn. He was losing everything!

Kenji's presence was sort of grounding. The only things that were remotely comforting was his friend's arms around him protectively. His strength when Darius had none. The way burying his face in his friend's chest blocked out the suddenly blinding hospital lights. The way even his smell was comforting… It was familiar among the traumatic and foreign smells of the hospital… Yet, his scent caused heartache as it reminded him of the island… Where Brooklynn had been alive…

Where he found comfort a second ago now becomes a painful reminder of Brooklynn and the life she used to have and the lifelessness she now had.

Kenji sinks to the ground and Darius sinks with him. His friends pulls him in tightly, weeping with him. Weeping for their friend… And though they were both crying, Darius was grateful for Kenji. Grateful that for once, he didn't have to be strong… That he could cry and feel the hopelessness and not have to be strong…

Not have to be strong for Brooklynn…

But maybe he should be strong… strong for her…

"She's… stable… for now," his mother explains to Darius.

Darius can feel Kenji deflate with relief. Darius couldn't return the feeling. Brooklynn wasn't safe. She wasn't living. She was surviving on life support, but they weren't in the clear yet… She wasn't guaranteed to wake up…

The two sit like this, crying and hugging and comforting each other with their presence until Mrs. Bowman interrupts. "Darius, let's head back to the car," she rubs his back.

"No," his breath catches. The fear of leaving the hospital… leaving Brooklynn sets in. "I have to see her."

"Darius, please," his mother whispers. "She might not be ready for visitors… Let's try to rest in the car."

As if Kenji read his mind, he says, "I'll try to check on her."

Darius shudders at the thought of Brooklynn flatlining and him not being there… Then the depressing thought of "What could he do if he was there?" comes. He had no way to save her… It didn't matter if he was there or not…

"Brandon, take Darius out to the parking lot," his mother says before turning to Kenji.

Darius watches as his friend follows his mother to Brooklynn's room. Brandon gently guides him back out to the car.

He looks up in time to find Ben enveloping him in a hug. "Hey," Ben says, breathing out shakily. He was trying to keep it together, but his shallow breathing and red eyes said he had been crying. He rubs Darius's back, and Darius returns the favor. "How are you?" Ben asks.

Tears slip out at the question. "I… I don't know," Darius answers, pained by the real answer. "I'm being torn in half. Brooklynn's taking half of me, and whether I get that part of me back or not is entirely up to her waking up…"

The boys pull back and something behind Ben catches his eye. "What happened to Yaz?" Darius asks. "A-after we got here, I mean… She disappeared for a while…"

"Security had to drag her out…" Ben murmurs. "I… She's… not handling it… well…"

Darius carefully approaches her. Her parents and Ghaleb were sitting around her. She leaned against Ghaleb's car, knees pulled to her chest. Yasmina looked like a train wreck. Like an extra from the Walking Dead. Her hair in disarray and her eyes wide and bloodshot.

It suddenly occurred to Darius that Brooklynn might not be the only one who would try to commit suicide…

Brooklynn's suicide could cause a domino effect.

Starting with Yasmina.

Darius hurries to her side and hugs her tightly, fearing for Yasmina's safety. For her mental state. She tenses up before accepting his hug weakly. "Stay with me, Yaz," he thinks anxiously, heart beating furiously at the thought of Yasmina ending her life, too… The thought that Yasmina couldn't handle Brooklynn's suicide and doing the same in return… He couldn't entertain that idea, it would tear him up inside. If he even thought about Yasmina… attempting to take her life, it… He couldn't do it. He couldn't think about it. It would destroy him. He couldn't handle the thought…

But at the same time… was that one reason Brooklynn got as far as she did? Because he didn't try hard enough to save her? Because he was too cowardly? Because he didn't want to think about what could happen? Because he refused to prepare for this sort of event? Because he failed as the leader of the group… It was his job to take care of them all… To think of the possibilities and prepare for the worst… And yet, here they were at the hospital, his best friend dying, and his other friend in a perilous state of mind…

"I did everything I could… My anxiety and worrying did nothing to prevent this," reason says.

Reason didn't have a hold in his mind…

The teens pile into the car to attempt to sleep. No one wanted to go home to sleep. No one could go home knowing that Brooklynn's life was still in the balance. Darius sat squished between Kenji and Ben. He finds that the most comfortable he could get was setting his head between the headrests. It was tight, but it was the only position that was slightly comfortable in this cramped car. He had no energy to find another position, anyway… He had no energy to do anything… His heart had no will to beat faster and exert effort… It was trying to sync with Brooklynn's heart…

A part of him wanted it to just cease with hers if she were to pass…

Brooklynn's scream pierces the air harshly.

"Brooklynn?!" Darius calls for her, searching among the wreckage and debris. The sky was filled with black columns of smoke. Sparks flew through the air. Fires raged from the collapsing of buildings and the bombs that had crumbled them. Sirens wailed in the distance, an eerie sound that should've given hope, but instead gave an ominous feeling of death. In this post-apocalyptic world, she could be anywhere! She could be hidden under debris, crushed in the wrecking of their world…

"Brook!" he pants, spotting her and rushing towards her. He collapses by her side.

She was holding her arms together, staring at them with a pained expression. A knife was stuck deep in both wrists. Blood sprayed her face. "Take me away," she breathes. "Take me away…"

The knife cuts deeper and she screams in pain. "Darius!" she cries out.

"I'm here!" he says quickly, hesitating to grab the knife. She'd bleed out faster if he removed it… But the sentient knife continued to cut deeper, severing her tendons.

"Take me away," she sobs. Every word she said caused the knife to inflict deeper wounds.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" he begs. "Stop saying that! Please! Stay here! I'm here! I'm here!"

"Take me away!" she pleads. The knife cuts through her wrists, and she collapses into his arms, bleeding to death.

Darius stirs in his sleep before falling into another dream.

"Stop it!" Darius snaps, lunging for her.

Brooklynn pulls away, scooching deeper into the corner she had crawled into. Her hands clench tighter around the knife, making them bleed. "What do you want me to do?!" she shouts, dragging the knife along her arm. "I can't escape!" She drags it along the other. "I can't escape! One or the other! Which do you want me to choose?!"

"Brook, I don't want you to live in pain," Darius tells her, approaching cautiously. "Please, let me help you. These aren't the only options!"

"You don't get it! You don't get it!" she shouts at him.

Darius wakes up, her words continuing to play in his mind. Drowsily, he dozes off again.

"Stop moving!" he urges.

Brooklynn was wrapped in steel wire. Every twitch of a muscle led to her bleeding. Every limb was laced with a deadly line, leaving escape impossible. Unless…

"Just hold on, I'll cut you free," he promises, trying to find something to break through her wires.

"You just don't get it," Brooklynn hisses.

Darius looks at her. She was staring at him with a dark look in her eye. "You're not strong enough," she growls. "You're not good enough. You're not enough to save me. You can't do it…"

She leans forward, the wires slicing into her throat. Her voice becomes gargled. "No matter how much you try… No matter how loving you are… No matter how many times you try to make me open up…"

She leans forward even further. "You can die for me, and it won't be enough… It'll never be enough… You're only going to make it worse… You can't save me… Try dying for me… It won't fix me… It won't fix you… You'll never be able to save me…"

"No… No! I can! Brooklynn, just let me try!" he pleads.

"It's not your decision," she hisses.

"No! Please!"

"You're not my Savior… You can't be and you never will be…"

"Brooklynn!"

Darius jolts awake. Of all the dreams he'd had so far… This was by far the worst…

"You can't save me…" her words taunt him. Her face… The way she had looked at him… It haunted him. There was something… something dark about it… Something tormenting about it…

"You can't save me…"

He couldn't… Not now… Not while she was dying… He had no way to rescue her from the grasp of overdose…

Maybe he could've prevented this… Maybe he should've done more…

"Darius!" Brooklynn cries out, her voice heartbroken.

"Brook!" he breathes, squinting in the darkness. They were back on the island. It was night time and a dark fog had settled in. Dense brush and tree branches scratch his face and make it hard to move through.

"Darius, help," she pleads, starting to cry.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he promises, working his way through.

He finds her and as she turns to him, he grips her shoulders. "What's wrong? Where are you hurt?"

Brooklynn stares down at her shoes, tears slipping down her face. "I don't know…"

Darius looks down at her chest. A dagger was stuck deep in her chest where her heart was. "Take it out," he tells her. "Take out the dagger."

She looks up at him. "What dagger?"

"The one in your heart," he points to it.

"There's no dagger," she sniffs. "Only darkness…"

Darius circles around to stand behind her and looks over her shoulder. From her side, there was no dagger… Only a pit of dark, emptiness where her heart should've been. "Where's my soul?" Brooklynn asks, looking at the empty pit. "Where's my soul?" she asks, her voice drenched in sorrow.

She lifts her hands to find that they were covered in blood. "Where's my soul?" she asks Darius directly, turning around to face him. "Why is there blood on my hands?"

"Brook, there's no blood," he says, then looks again. The dagger was stabbed deep into the pit of darkness… And the blood on her hands was hers. "It's your blood," he whispers.

"It's yours," she says softly, trembling with fear. "Where's my soul…"

Darius watches helplessly as she searches within herself for her soul. "I sold it," she says with heavy revelation. "I sold my soul."

"No, it was taken," he argues.

"I sold it!" she cries. "I want it back… I want it back, Darius…"

She tries to cover up the gaping hole in her chest. "I want this gone… This… This empty… hole… I want it filled…"

Darius moves forward and Brooklynn slowly drops her hands. He gently covers the wound with his hand, trying to fill the empty void. Brooklynn looks at him hopefully, but her face soon falls. "It's not enough…" she begins to weep. "You can't fill it…"

"No, I can," he promises, desperate.

"It's not enough…" she pulls back, then sees his hand covered with her blood. "You're bleeding!" she yells.

"No, no, I'm not bleeding!" Darius promises.

"You're bleeding!" she screams hysterically. "I hurt you! I hurt you!"

"No, no, no, you didn't! You didn't!" he grabs her shoulders and holds her close. "Brooklynn! You're not hurting me, I promise you! Just let me… Let me help you. Please… What will fill this hole?"

She sniffs, calming down. "The light… The sunrise…"

Darius slowly wakes up, his heart throbbing. After all the nightmares, getting to talk to her broke his heart… Even if it was in a dream… It was like she was right there… As if the conversation truly happened…

He felt too drained to cry. Despite sleeping, he hadn't gotten any rest. The nightmares only drained his energy more…

Darius would do anything for Brooklynn… He'd fill her with light and sunrise…

If he could… He'd do anything for her, if he could… He just… had to know what to do…

Someone knocks on the car door, startling him. The door opens and Yaz and Ben move out into the parking lot. Darius follows them, but notices that Kenji hadn't moved. Instead of stepping out of the car, the boy sits on the edge of the seat, legs dangling out of the car. He felt too weak to stand, and since Kenji didn't seem to want to leave the car, well…

"What happened?" Sammy asks, the interrogating questions pouring out of her like lava. The words burned like lava, too. "Is she going to make it? Why'd she do it? How is she? What did she—"

"Sammy," Ben steps in, which Darius is thankful for. Yasmina lets out a sob, mirroring how Darius felt at the thought of having to answer those questions…

"She… We… We tried…" Darius stutters, the words suddenly sticking to his throat like glue. "We tried to reach her… I…" "I failed her," he wanted to say. "I failed to save her! We weren't there! No one was there! She was suffering alone! She needed help! Help that I couldn't give to her! Help that maybe I was never able to give to her…"

None of that came out. Nothing but a choking sound came out as the words got caught in his throat. He couldn't voice what happened… It couldn't have just happened…

Ben saves Darius and Yasmina the pain of explaining what happened, and Darius internally thanks him for it. He couldn't explain it all… How… How do you explain everything… All the pain… The horror… The impending doom… The gut-wrenching feeling that you'll never get your friend back… even if she wakes up…

Darius hears Milton speak, but wasn't sure what he said. He looks up and glares at Brooklynn's brother as he walks away. He knew Milton didn't mean for his sister to do this… Still didn't mean Darius liked him. Still didn't mean that he couldn't be angry… Whether he meant to or not, Brooklynn was in the hospital right now because of his negligence…

"Why was she alone? Sammy asks. "She's not supposed to be left alone…"

Darius rolls his eyes, biting back every insulting and sarcastic comment he could think of. "Her parents were out…" With venom in his voice, he adds, "Milton left her."

Ben explains how Brooklynn ended up alone, and Sammy's face contorts in hidden rage. Her lips tremble in justified anger. A part of Darius felt glad that Sammy felt exactly the way he did… So he wasn't the only one who hated Brooklynn's older brother now…

"You can't punish him more than he's punishing himself," Ben sighs, playing devil's advocate in Darius's opinion.

In all fairness, Darius did understand that feeling… He genuinely couldn't comprehend a world without Brooklynn… He didn't want to. And he had no idea how he was going to fare if she…

The thought of Brooklynn dying leaves a burning pit in his stomach. This was the end of the world…

"She'll get better," Sammy says, bringing him back. "She'll make it. It's going to be okay…"

Darius isn't sure if he wants to give her a hug and thank her for at least trying to encourage the rest of them, or smack her for being nauseating…

"Why did she do it?" Yasmina whispers, on the verge of crying.

"Yeah, she seemed to be doing better…" Sammy murmurs.

"No, she wasn't…" Darius sighs. Sammy was being too optimistic… Brooklynn didn't slip into this state of mind in a matter of days… She had been getting worse and worse, and they just didn't see it until it was too late… "She's just good at pretending… She wasn't doing better…"

"She seemed better," Sammy insists. "At least… Just depressed… Just… sad… I didn't… She didn't seem suicidal… We worried about it, but she…"

"Something pushed her over the edge," Darius closes his eyes. Something had pushed her over the edge between the party and the time they found her… She wasn't suicidal when he kissed her… He was sure of it… He could see it in her eyes… After the kiss. There was love in her eyes. Hope. There was life again.

But then… she did this…

"Why?" he tries not to cry. "What happened… What made her give up… What made her feel this way to begin with…"

"I don't know…" Ben murmurs.

"Trauma?" Sammy suggests. "Do you think the trauma from the island was just too much for her?"

"No… I think this has been building long before the island… It certainly made things worse, but…" Ben sighs. "This is something else."

"Do you think something happened before the island to make her feel this way?" Sammy asks. "How… Why would she want to die? Why would she lose the will to live?"

"Were we not enough?" Darius asks, staring at the concrete. He lets a bit of what had been running through his mind form into words. "Were we not enough to keep her here? Did we… fail her…?"

"Leah," Yasmina mumbles.

"I don't think it was Leah," Ben shakes his head. "At least… not all of her…"

"It has to be her," Yasmina snarls like an animal. "Brooklynn was doing better before Leah came and wrecked everything. Brooklynn started to become secretive about Leah… Like that b**** was doing something to her behind the scenes."

"Leah isn't the main cause…" Ben quietly insists.

Darius sided more with Yasmina… She had a point… Leah seemed to at the very least agitate Brooklynn's suicidal urges… If not completely ignite them.

"I think I found it," Kenji says from behind Darius.

"Found what?" Darius asks, begrudgingly moving out of the way for his friend.

"What could have possibly pushed Brooklynn over the edge," Kenji says, brewing a curiosity in Darius. "There's a video going around. The title gives me nothing, but judging by the comments… It's bad."

"Fake news, Leah probably made up some rumors," Darius immediately thinks.

"Half the comments are enjoying… the video…" Kenji bites his lip. "The other half are outraged and reminding everyone that Brooklynn is a minor."

The group is in shock, but Darius is in confusion. What did he mean by minor… He couldn't… couldn't mean what he was thinking… right? "What are you saying?" he asks.

"From the looks of the comments… It's a sextape… including Brooklynn," he says regretfully.

"What?" Darius stares at him. Those words seriously couldn't have been said. "Wait…" he's taken aback by how grave Kenji is. "You can't be serious."

"Brooklynn?" Sammy frowns. "In a… porn video?"

Disgust and horror rises up in Darius. Not at Brooklynn, but at his friends. They couldn't be considering it as an option, could they?!

Kenji gets defensive. "That's what it looks like!"

"Brooklynn? Making that content?" Yasmina holds her head, leaning completely on Ben for support. She voiced exactly what Darius was thinking.

"You don't think she would?" Kenji asks.

Darius stares at him, ready to fight this man for those words.

Kenji must've read the general reaction from everyone as he backpedals. "Look, she was already in a questionable arena… Fighting to get views… I'm not… I don't want to think she'd go there, but you do know that she was under immense pressure to do anything for views…"

"Brooklynn wouldn't do that!" Yasmina hisses. "No… That can't be real…"

Ben goes off on an explanation, but Darius isn't listening. All he can think about is Brooklynn's words in the dream. "I sold my soul." … Where did he hear her say that before…

They were on the island… Riding a Triceratops… They had only been there for a few days… "I was kinda ashamed of my actions," Brooklynn mumbled. "I guess that should've stopped me. I'm sorry I lied to you, Darius. To all of you. I truly am. I really have a problem with that. The doing questionable things for attention, I mean."

"Questionable things?" Darius had asked.

"You don't want to know," she said sadly. "You really don't. It's not all fun and games as a popular Youtube star. It's kill or be killed out there. You have to keep up with the game. Grit your teeth and do things you might not be comfortable with to get higher up. Sometimes I think I sold my soul for the fame I got…"

Darius lets his head drop, the sinking realization that maybe… maybe Kenji was right… And maybe Brooklynn had hinted to it all along… "She hinted at it on the island… We were riding the Triceratops back in the beginning of our stay. She said she did questionable things for attention on the Internet… That she had to do uncomfortable things to get fame… That she felt like she sold her soul…"

Darius couldn't imagine it. He genuinely couldn't. All his friends knew he was innocent. Naive in the ways of love. Oh, he knew what porn was… He wasn't that innocent after all the dirty jokes Kenji and even Yasmina would slip into conversations… But he hadn't watched them. He hadn't listened to them. Hadn't read anything sexual. Hadn't looked at adult pictures. The closest to porn he had seen were animals mating on Discovery…

He looks at the others. A mixture of horror and sorrow was on their faces. The rest of them knew what to expect… He didn't…

Why would Brooklynn make a video like that? It boggled his mind. Yes, Darius was aware that she filmed it to get views and likes. But who the heck was she trying to reach with content like that?! She was, what, thirteen when she must have filmed it?! Why would anyone want to watch such a video?! Brooklynn was desperate to get views and attention on the Internet, yes. But through porn? Porn was actually an option? An option that would work?

The thought made him sick… It wasn't just that his amazing and beautiful best friend had been so desperate for love and attention that she gave up her innocence and put herself on display… It was that it actually worked. Who was watching that video? Who gave it likes and attention? Who was so sick that they would watch a thirteen year old… do… whatever she did…

Was it with another person? Was said person a minor with Brooklynn? Same age? Or was this an adult… It had to be… He wasn't sure what she could do by herself… Actually, take that back, Kenji had made enough jokes for Darius to realize Brooklynn could make porn solo… He wasn't sure which was worse…

No, her making porn with an adult was way worse…

"I have to see it to believe it," Yasmina says, making him look up.

Darius gulps at the thought… Could he watch it? Just to know?

"No," he shakes his head quickly. "I can't… I can't watch it."

"I can't either," Sammy agrees. "If… If it's true… I can't look at her like that. It's already out there for the world to see… She killed herself over it… I can't breach her privacy like that."

"I don't wanna watch it either," Ben sighs. "Sammy's right. It feels wrong to think about watching that."

"Yeah… no," Kenji looks at the ground.

A look of determination and rage creeps onto Yasmina's face. "I have to know… This… This is what pushed her over the edge… I have to know what it is. What it was that hurt her so much, that she gave up the will to live."

Darius understood her curiosity… But if it was so bad that Brooklynn gave up living, he wasn't sure if he could watch it… Besides, this was so… so… so private. So intimate… Darius wasn't sure he could watch Brooklynn in such an exposing video with a straight face… He couldn't imagine the two of them doing more than just kissing without getting embarrassed… Heck, kissing made him blush… So to watch a video with Brooklynn… alone or with someone else… In a compromising situation… He couldn't do it.

He wouldn't do it.

"Then you can watch it," Kenji decides, giving Yasmina his phone.

The look on Yasmina's face was one of immediate regret. She would be the only one watching the video… She would be the sole carrier of Brooklynn's secret among the group…

Her and Darius already shared what happened at Brooklynn's house… They already carried the burden of knowing what quite possibly her last moments were like… It's not a light burden to carry…

"Yaz, don't…" Darius whispers. He didn't want her to carry this, too…

"If you can't bear it, don't watch it," Sammy says worryingly.

That determination Darius had seen the athlete possess so often on the island comes back. "Somebody has to," she murmurs. Yasmina was a warrior… A protector… She would carry the burden for the rest of them… She'd be strong… unlike Darius…

Darius holds his head in his hands as Yasmina begins to play the video. There were faint sounds coming from Kenji's video… Sounds that sounded odd… Sounds that he had been trained to know as not suitable for mixed audiences… His heart starts racing at the sounds… It already made him uncomfortable… But now knowing that that was Brooklynn he was hearing…

"Turn it up," Kenji says.

Yasmina does so and Darius plugs his ears with his fingers. He didn't want to hear any more of it. It was bad enough knowing that Brooklynn did this… It just felt so wrong to know. Like just knowing was embarrassing Brooklynn. Just knowing what she had done felt like a breach of her privacy. Maybe this video could've stayed in the shadows of the dark web had Leah not brought it back up…

But even then, Brooklynn still would've had to say something about it… The shame had to be eating her up…

Maybe that was why she was suicidal… She was so ashamed of herself that she couldn't live with it… Couldn't bear the thought of her friends finding out… Couldn't face him…

"I'm pretty sure I've seen the real video before," Kenji catches his attention.

Darius looks up, confused. Real video? What did Kenji mean by real video?

"I think I might be able to find the real one…" Kenji mutters.

A thought dawns on Darius. What if… What if he had been reading it all wrong? What if Brooklynn's whole "Sold my soul" bit was related to Leah? What if the video was edited? What if none of this actually happened?

"So… it's not her?" Darius asks, still covering his hands just in case.

"Yeah, we're sure of it," Ben says as Kenji is handed his phone back. Darius uncovers his ears, knowing it was safe.

As Kenji searches for the unedited version, Darius has a thought. "This has to be Leah who edited this… Or she had someone else edit it…"

Leah would've lorded this over Brooklynn's head… She would've used this against Brooklynn to make her do her bidding…

Come to think of it, that's probably why Brooklynn started unexplainably defending Leah… Leah had probably threatened to release the video…

Fury rises inside him and he checks the passager door for Brooklynn's phone. He could've sworn that Milton mentioned grabbing it from the house…

"What are you doing?" Yasmina asks as he finds it.

"Leah had to have been blackmailing Brooklynn with this video," Darius mutters, trying to unlock Brooklynn's phone. He didn't know the password…

"Let me try," Yasmina offers. Darius tosses her the phone and after a couple tries, she gets in. "She changed it…" the athlete mutters. A small thought that perhaps Yasmina knew the password to everyone's phone crosses Darius's mind…

"What are you doing?" Sammy asks.

"Seeing if she was in contact with Leah," Darius explains.

Yasmina tenses up. "Leah sent her the video…"

Fury boils up inside him. "So, she was behind this. I bet she edited the video, too."

"There's not much evidence… yet…" Ben says, suspicious. "But given everything that's happened, I guarantee Leah was the one who released that video and edited it, too… And if not, maybe got someone else to do it…"

"Why would she kill herself over this?" Sammy asks. "I—"

"Found it!" Kenji declares triumphantly, passing the phone around. Darius declines looking at it. If he didn't watch the Brooklynn edit, he's not going to watch the real video. "That's the exact video, just without Brooklynn's face. It's the real one. Nothing distorted or strange. That video of Brooklynn is completely fake and we have proof."

"Which is why I'm confused," Sammy continues. "Why would she die over this? Kenji picked up on it so quickly—"

"It did have something off to it, even before Kenji pointed it out," Ben interrupts.

"But it's very obviously fake," Sammy sighs sharply.

"Yeah… Why did this do her in?" Kenji asks, looking at the rest of the group.

"As embarrassing as it is… It's not true," Darius knits his brows together in thought. "She knows it's not real…" "Doesn't she?" "Why would she kill herself over an edited video…"

"Especially one so easily fake it's laughable to believe it," Kenji states.

"Maybe the shame of having this out there was too much to bear?" Sammy suggests. "Even though she knows it's fake, she still doesn't want to deal with the public…"

"Maybe…" Ben murmurs.

Darius doesn't buy it, as much as he wants to… Brooklynn's comment on selling her soul was still lingering in the back of his mind…

"Yaz, what do you think it is?" Sammy asks.

Before Yasmina could answer, Brooklynn's phone buzzes. Immediately her and Ben check it. "There's another video," Yasmina says with disbelief, then anger. "There's another video…"

"What do you mean 'another video'?" Kenji asks before Darius could.

"Whoever this is says, 'I edited that video. It's not even Brooklynn in the video. I don't know who it is,'" Ben reads. "'I was commissioned to do this. I didn't know this would push her over the edge. I am so sorry. I didn't realize the intentions of my commissioner. I thought this was another petty rivalry between Brooklynn and Leah. I didn't realize how much harm Leah wanted to do. It seemed like libel until she revealed the inspiration behind this idea.'"

Darius takes it in silently, feeling shock and a sense of reluctant knowing.

"''I'm so sorry,'" Ben continues reading. "'I'm attaching the real video which Leah drew from. She wanted to make Brooklynn look dirty, so the edited video hardly matches the real footage. I didn't want to reveal this to the public, not after what the fake video did to her. But this can't be left hidden. I hope someone finds this. Family. Police. Someone. Just don't let this footage be hidden.'"

"What do they mean?" Sammy asks.

"I don't know if I want to watch this…" Yasmina whimpers, close to tears.

"What real footage?" Kenji asks. "If there's real footage, why edit it?"

"If there's real footage, and the edited video doesn't match the footage… But the edited video is made to make Brooklynn look dirty…" Ben trails off.

"Then the real footage makes Brooklynn look like the victim," Darius finishes in his head. He wasn't entirely sure what that would mean… Did Brooklynn sleep with an older man to get views? With Brooklynn's age, the Internet was sure to side with her… So why not just edit the real video and make the guy look younger… Why go through the process of using a different video? Was Leah trying to get caught?

"Play it," he whispers, moving to sit behind Ben and Yasmina. "I have to know." If the real footage was enough to make Brooklynn the victim, so much so that it was unusable… He had to see it. He had to know.

"I think I know," Yasmina whispers, tearing up at the thought.

Darius only has time to wonder why she would be so moved to tears before the footage starts playing.

The video starts playing and just by quality and angle, Darius is alarmed. This wasn't Brooklynn's doing at all. The camera was mounted to the upper corner of the room. By the positioning, anyone in the room would assume it was a security camera. But the footage caught was not security footage. Darius couldn't have guessed what type of camera, but he was sure this wasn't official security… Someone was filming everything under the guise of security. Brooklynn was being filmed against her consent, under the idea that it was security footage… She was being filmed without her consent, but assured it was for her own safety…

Brooklynn was in what appeared to be a ballet training room. Mirrors along one wall, a bar for whatever ballerinas did. Brooklynn was in a black leotard and loose shorts. A pile of other clothes she had discarded laid next to her bag.

There was an older man in the room with her, watching her practice and correcting her posture every now and then. Brooklynn looked nervous and tense even while dancing… Darius tries to recall this man's name. Brooklynn didn't talk much about her ballet days… (And considering this secret comes from it, he can see why.) But he did recall hearing her instructor's name… He just couldn't remember it…

Brooklynn's number seemed to include a partner, as the instructor kept moving in to guide and dance with her. A warning bell went off in Darius's head. "If there's a partner involved, why isn't he here? And where are the other students? Shouldn't there be other students? Why are you alone with a thirteen year old girl? And why would you pretend that there's security footage when there's not?"

All his questions are answered when the man grabs Brooklynn's waist and pulls her close. Darius wasn't an expert on ballet but he's pretty sure that this move was not necessary. They were too close. Way too close. Her entire torso was pressed against him firmly. Both hands on either side of her waist, he was holding her tightly to him, particularly her waist… The older man made sure that her hips were tightly pressed against his…

"What is he doing?" Darius asks, not believing it. Not wanting to believe it. All the signs were there. No… No, this couldn't be it…

The instructor kisses Brooklynn, shocking her. She pulls back with a grunt of surprise, telling him to stop. He moves in for another kiss, and Brooklynn tears herself from his grasp fearfully. He aggressively grabs her arms, his cool, professional composure creepily contrasting his behavior. He tells her she wants this… He won't hurt her… Not if she cooperates… It would be a good thing… She wanted it…

"No, no, no, no," Kenji shakes his head.

"Run… Just run!" Yasmina commands fearfully.

Brooklynn gave in hesitantly, but not before glancing at the camera. In the short glimpse of her face, Darius can see everything. The fear, the reluctance, the desperate need to run away… But she didn't. She does her best to kiss him back.

"Don't do this," he hisses, grimacing. This was so hard to watch.

A muffled grunt comes from her as she pulls away, unable to bear it anymore. Brooklynn pulls away, telling him she couldn't do it.

He snapped. The instructor shoves her thin frame to the ground. Hard. Before she could orient herself, he drops down on top of her. He pins her down with his waist, straddling her hips and putting enough pressure to keep her from slipping away. She tries to push him off, but he's too heavy for her. The monster pulls hard at her leotard strings, snapping them. Brooklynn cries out and Darius's jaw goes slack. He freezes, watching helplessly as the man completely undresses her and proceeds to do the same with himself.

Hope ignites momentarily as Brooklynn pulls away while her instructor was distracted. That hope was extinguished when he grabbed her legs and pulled her back. With one hand pressing down on her stomach, he undresses himself with the other. Brooklynn struggled to push him off, the fear of what he would do causing her to panic, and his weight on her anorexic stomach causing pain.

"No… no, no, no, NO!" Darius gasps.

He couldn't look away. It was horrible. Absolutely disgusting. Infuriating. The man went down to business with not so much as a thought to the screaming girl beneath him. He didn't have a single bit of heart towards her pain and torment. It actually seemed to spur him on even more.

Anger. Uncontrollable, justified anger rises up. He was on fire. He wanted to kill this guy. He wanted to jump through the screen and pull them apart. He wanted to take a knife and stab this man over and over and over again. Grab a gun and shoot a hole in his chest and groin. Strangle this… this… this monster with his bare hands for even touching Brooklynn!

"Get…" Darius seethes, the horrible realization coming. "Off of her…" he breaks down crying. It had happened. It had already happened! There was no going back and saving her! This man had raped her and got away with it! There was no going back to save her…

"Is she dead?" Sammy cries, bringing Darius to realize how silent Brooklynn was in the video.

He moves closer to Yasmina who was completely frozen. Brooklynn wasn't screaming. Wasn't moving. She was staring at the ceiling, face frozen in horror.

"Just… disassociating," he hears Ben say before the world went silent.

He would never be able to get that out of his mind. Brooklynn… naked… sprawled out in the most vulnerable position… Being raped by someone she was supposed to be able to trust… She gave up. She gave up and let it happen.

"What was she supposed to do?!" Darius asks himself as he cries. "No one was there! He was too strong! She couldn't do anything but take it! No one was there for her!"

He wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill this monster who raped his best friend. Who caused so much grief and torment inside her… This… This is what had been bothering her… This is what destroyed her from the inside out…

What was this monsters name… He had heard her say it before… It was an odd name… Snow… Colonel Snow? Coriander Snow? Something old…

No, that's what Yasmina called him… "Blizzard! Antonius Blizzard!" he remembered. Brooklynn had mentioned his name in the helicopter ride to Kenji's court case… Her instructor was Antonius Blizzard…

Having a name attached to the horrible beast who hurt her didn't help…

"He gaslit her," Ben says.

Darius looks up at him, tears making his vision blurry.

"He gaslit her," Ben repeats. "Brooklynn probably believes the edited video is real… She sees herself… sees herself as dirty… not as a victim… It allowed her to convince herself that she didn't deserve to live…"

Darius's heart broke into a million pieces. Ben was right. He was completely right. Brooklynn didn't remember this event correctly. She blamed herself… Or he blamed her… She took that blame and let it convince her that she couldn't live… That she wouldn't be able to look her friends in the eyes…

That she was unworthy of love from anyone… That Darius would be better off without her…

Darius keels over, curling up face down on the ground crying for his friend. "If only you knew… If only you knew that none of that was true. You didn't deserve this… You didn't deserve any of this! We love you, Brooklynn… You didn't deserve this…"

---

"Where's Brooklynn Monell?" Darius asks the front nurse. He had to see her. After all that… he couldn't stand being away from her. Brooklynn had to wake up. This couldn't be the end! She couldn't die believing that that event defined her life! She tried to kill herself because she couldn't face her friends after that… She had to know that Darius didn't hold it against her. None of them did. She wasn't at fault and it didn't change the way they saw her. It didn't change her worth!

The nurse gives him instructions and Darius follows them to Brooklynn's room. He could've asked his mother or Kenji, but he didn't have time to go find them. He had sat on the ground weeping for his friend for who knows how long… By the time he looked up, the older siblings were pulling the campers away. Ben and Kenji had disappeared, Milton was guiding Yasmina away, and Miriam was wheeling Sammy away. Brandon helped him up off the ground and accompanied him into the hospital. As they walked to the room, Darius turns to him. "I… I want to see her… alone."

Brandon sighs, but he respects Darius's request. As Darius opens the door, he realizes the only reason his brother allowed him out of his sight was because Ben was already in the room.

Darius ignores his friend, his eyes immediately drawn to the bed. Brooklynn laid limp on the bed, the thin bed sheet pronouncing her thin figure. He slowly approaches. The monitors beep at him, reminding him that she wasn't dead… Her body at least. He stares at the monitors, watching the blip her heart made with every beat. It was steady and there… She was breathing… But there was no brain activity.

Darius feels woozy, like his heart was slowing down to match the monitor. He shakily sits down in the chair next to Brooklynn. Ben was suddenly beside him, supporting him as he sits down.

Darius's eyes never leave Brooklynn. She was pale. Very pale. Her freckles stuck out, as if she had drawn them on with a brown marker. Her eye patch had been removed, and the scar was even more noticeable against her pale skin. Her lips were ever so slightly a darker shade. Her hair was damp and wispy strands stuck to her forehead. The rest was a mess, tangled and dried with vomit.

He slowly reaches forward and brushes away the sweat-soaked strands of hair from her face, unsure what else to do. He didn't know how to feel… About seeing her like this. He wanted to cry. Curl up and cry like a child. It was hard enough to see her in a coma… lifeless and ill… It was even harder to know why. To know why exactly she did this to herself… Darius holds her hand, gentle with it and the wires attached to it. There shouldn't be wires and IVs attached to her hand…

Darius blinks back tears and shudders. He wanted to tell her he was sorry. She shouldn't have gone through all that… She shouldn't have suffered like that… He should've seen the signs…

"It's my fault," he whispers.

Ben's hands shift on his shoulder. "What?" he asks.

"It's my fault," Darius repeats. "I should've seen the signs… She wasn't okay… I should've known…"

"Stop," Ben says, sternly but gently. "Don't do that. It's not your fault."

This gets Darius's full attention. "It's not your fault Brooklynn tried to kill herself," Ben says, a solemn look in his eyes. "You didn't do anything."

"That's the problem," Darius mutters, tears welling up.

"She would've done this anyway," Ben sighs. "If not now, later. She would've done it as soon as the opportunity presented itself, just like she did last night…"

"Why?" Darius turns back to Brooklynn, still limp on the bed. "Why would she take her own life? Why would she let depression win? Why would she let it win?"

"She lost sight… sight of what mattered," Ben whispers. "She got tired of fighting. She forgot who she was… Forgot how much she is loved and how much she's worth. She doesn't… She doesn't see herself the way we do. The way she should see herself. Her perception of herself is warped by what he did to her… That event in her life stabbed her."

Darius squeezes his eyes shut at the image.

"It stabbed her deep in her heart," Ben continues. "It rooted itself deep in her heart, planting a horrible seed. The seed grew into this… this… this self-hatred and guilt… It stabbed her and left a horrible wound… A jagged hole in her heart not seen by anyone else. She probably didn't tell her parents… Probably didn't tell anyone. She covered up the wound. Wrapped it up in her social media personality… That didn't heal the wound… It covered up the wound and let it fester…"

Darius looks up at him, tears streaming down his face. The image was so vivid… So… familiar…

"It's like… If you cover up a wound and don't deal with it," Ben stutters, beginning to pace as he tries to figure out what he's saying. "This event was like a stab to her heart. There was a wound left there and she didn't seek out help for it. She wrapped it up and hid it away, like she did with the Compy bite on the island. Pretending the wound isn't there doesn't help. It festers. Bacteria grows. The venom spreads. Where a stab wound once was now becomes a huge, festering mess because it wasn't taken care of. By the time we came along, the infection had already spread… Her happy, curious persona was a bandage over the wound. A mask to hide the growing infection. And in some ways we helped her, but… for the most part, the island seemed to speed up the infection."

"Ben…" Darius whispers, blinking rapidly. It was all true…

"I fear…" Ben bites his lip. "I fear that the infection was too advanced by the time we realized just how damaged she was. We stripped away the makeshift bandages that were her disguises. We were ministering to the damage by showing her love and keeping an eye on her. We were so close… Something happened… Something aggravated that wound. Something brought back up the pain and she closed off. She hid the wound. It began to fester again and… The infection was too advanced…"

Darius shoots up and grips the bed railing, startling Ben. "We could've saved her!" he shouts. "We could've helped her! She needed help! I could've saved her! It's my fault!"

"Darius, it's not your fault," Ben insists.

"I should've done something!" Darius snaps, looking up at his friend with rage. "She is my best friend! My… I… I should've known! I promised I'd be there! I promised I'd save her! She shouldn't be here!"

"What would you have done?" Ben asks. "We did everything we could—"

"This—" Darius angrily gestures to Brooklynn, "—could have been prevented! She could've been saved before this, I know it!"

"Darius—" Ben interrupts.

"I should've known!" Darius grips his hair, beginning to spiral. "I should've paid more attention to her! I shouldn't have been pulling away! I shouldn't have been focusing on you guys!" All the time he could've devoted to Brooklynn comes back, making him even more angry. "You guys weren't at risk! I shouldn't have listened to you! I shouldn't have pulled away! Brooklynn wasn't fine yesterday, I should've gone after her! I shouldn't have trusted Yaz's opinion! I shouldn't have focused on the breakup! Sammy and Kenji were fine compared to her! I shouldn't have focused on them, I should've focused on Brooklynn!"

"Darius!" Ben barks, his eyes darting to the door.

Darius looks and his anger abates. His friends were standing in the door, staring in shock. All his words repeat in his head and he realizes in horror what he had said. "I…" he gasps, seeing the shock and hurt on their faces.

The most grieved, guttural sound comes from Yasmina as she slumps against the wall and slides to the floor. He hadn't seen her cry like this before in a long time. It was horrible and painful and so full of guilt… Guilt she didn't need to carry. Guilt he had unintentionally put on her with his words… "Yaz…" he blinks back tears. "I didn't mean it."

Yasmina sobs even harder, breaking his heart. Kenji kneels down and pulls her into a hug. He looked like he was holding back tears himself. Sammy sat there in her wheelchair, a numbly guilty expression on her face.

"Guys… Guys, I'm sorry," Darius stutters, wrapping his arms around himself. ""I-I didn't…"

He moves forward to comfort his friends when Ben stops him. "Don't blame yourselves," he says. "It's not your fault and you didn't fail Brooklynn. Don't blame yourselves."

Darius looks at him, lip quivering. Not only did he feel like he failed Brooklynn, but he also hurt his other friends…

"We tried to save her and we gave her so many chances," Ben insists. "We did everything we could."

"There was something more we could've done… There has to be…" Darius sniffs.

"It's not your fault," Ben says, touching Darius's shoulder. Darius looks into the sincere gaze and can't believe it…

"It's not your fault," he tells Sammy, then Kenji, before kneeling down in front of Yasmina. "It's not your fault, you didn't do this," he assures her, taking her hands into his.

Darius watches helplessly as Ben and Kenji comfort Yasmina. Sammy sits there, a similar expression on her face as she watches them. Darius holds himself, standing helplessly by as his friends are in distress. He wants to help them. He wants to reach out and explain everything. It wasn't their fault. He wasn't blaming them. He was blaming himself! It was his fault! They did nothing wrong… It was him… It was always him… It was his fault with Brooklynn, and now it was his fault that his friends were hurting…

"Hey, uh…" Ghaleb opens the door, then falters when he sees the scene. "M-mom… says you need to go back to the… car…"

Yasmina slumps onto Ben, crying out something Darius couldn't understand. "Go down to the car and elevate your leg," Ben gives her a comforting hug. "It's okay."

"Come on," Kenji steps in. "Go rest your leg for a bit."

Darius watches helplessly as Ghaleb picks up his sister and carries her out of the room. Ben encourages Kenji and Sammy to leave, too. Darius steps forward, wanting to apologize. He had to apologize. What if he hurt them too deeply?! He had to make amends! He had to apologize! He had to explain everything!

Ben stops him from leaving. "Leave them be," he says softly.

"I'm sorry," Darius shuts his eyes, trying not to cry. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean what I said! It came out wrong! I didn't mean anything about them or you… I blame myself. If I had just…"

"What would you have done?" Ben asks. "Brooklynn had lost the will to live. What would you have done differently?"

Darius shuffles around, feeling claustrophobic. Panicked. At fault. "I would do anything to go back and fix this! I would do anything to save her, Ben! I love her! I love her so much! She means everything to me! I would die for her! I would die for her…"

Ben gently touches his shoulder. "Somebody already did… Jesus died for her, you know?"

"Jesus died for her sins so that she may go to Heaven," his brain repeats automatically. What if she didn't accept him… What if Brooklynn wasn't in Heaven… What if she was in Hell… Burning there for the rest of eternity. No rest. No peace. Just eternal suffering.

Darius starts to hyperventilate. What if Brooklynn wasn't even at rest in death? What if she killed herself to find peace and ended up suffering for the rest of time?!

"Is she gone?" Darius breathes heavily. "Is she in Hell now?"

"She's not dead," Ben reminds him. "There's still time. There's still a chance for her. But, that's… that's not my point. Darius, the Bible says that Jesus came to bring life, and life more abundantly. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Salvation only comes through him. You… You can't save her. But Jesus can."

Darius's breath becomes more ragged. It didn't calm him… He couldn't be calm. Not right now. Not in this situation. Brooklynn was dying! "How can you be so calm?!" Darius snaps. "How can you be so calm with Brooklynn's life literally on the line?! How can you be so calm not doing anything to save her?!" he shuts his mouth quickly… He didn't want to hurt his friend again…

Instead of being scared or hurt, Ben smiles softly, gently holding Darius's shoulders. "Because I believe God has very important plans for Brooklynn. And it's not over yet. She hasn't lost the battle yet. God's not given up on her, Darius. I believe he's working on her right now as we speak."

Darius's breathing becomes more even as he listens.

"She's in a coma, not dead," Ben says. "For all we know, she could be awake and unable to do or say anything. She could be listening to us right now." The two look at Brooklynn, unresponsive on the bed. "I know it looks hopeless right now," Ben continues. "But it's not over yet. She hasn't given up her spirit yet. I believe God is giving her another chance, Darius."

He pulls his friend in for a hug. Darius drops his head onto Ben's shoulder tiredly. "There's nothing we can do right now for her," Ben tells him. "I can't do anything for her right now. All I can do is help you guys."

"But Brooklynn needs the most help…" Darius sniffs.

"Help that only God can provide," Ben explains. "There's nothing I can do right now. For her. You guys need help, though… You guys are hurting. And so since I can't help her, I'm going to trust God has got her and help you guys."

Darius hugs him tightly, allowing his words to penetrate for a moment…

The door opens and his mother enters the room. "Hey… Sorry to interrupt, but we're all going to go out to a diner for food. Ben, your Mom and Miss Bonnie are taking you guys. I'm going to stay here with Miss Stephanie and monitor Brooklynn."

Anxiety spikes in Darius at the thought of leaving Brooklynn. What if she flatlines? What if she wakes up and no one's there?! What if she wakes up and feels abandoned in the cold room?! What if she gives up?! What if she feels abandoned and tries to kill herself again?!

"There's nothing we can do for her," Ben assures him, as if he could read minds. "She'll be okay. Your Mom is going to be watching and the doctors would act if something went wrong. It's okay. You can leave the room."

Darius was stubborn… But he knew Ben was even more so… And Ben was right… Hesitantly, he allows his friend and mother to guide him out of the room. Ben's gentle, yet firm arm around his shoulder was the only thing keeping him from bolting back to Brooklynn…

---

The campers and their older siblings are taken out to eat by Ben and Sammy's mothers, while the rest of the adults go back to their jobs. Their normal lives… As if none of this had happened…

Darius sits in the diner booth, picking at his omelet. Brandon sat next to him on his left, and Ben on his right. Sammy sat in her wheelchair at the end of the table, while Yasmina and Kenji sat at the other side. No one spoke… Darius could feel the hesitation and discomfort. His angry outburst had brought all their insecurities out… He felt horrible about it. His friends didn't need all that after what happened…

Brandon reaches for the syrup, his arm moving across Darius's vision. He wished his brother wasn't there… Well, he wished Brooklynn was in his place… Brandon felt so out of place among the campers… The table felt empty without Brooklynn…

Darius's heart beats painfully at the thought. He wished she was there with them. He worried about how she was doing. Had she woken up? Would she wake up anytime soon? Would they have to wait weeks? Months? Would she never wake up?

He stares out the window at the rising sun. The day was just beginning as the sun rose higher and higher and people started moving about their jobs and activities. It was going to be sunny with no sign of rain or clouds. It was beautiful… The sunrise was beautiful… And Brooklynn wasn't there to see it…

He struggles with his tears. "Why is it such a nice day?" It was so beautiful and all he could think about was what he told Brooklynn. "Hold on till the sunrise."

The sunrise was here, and she hadn't… She didn't try to hold on… And now the beautiful sunrise was here and she wasn't there with him to experience it.

He wished it was dreary. He wished it was stormy. He wished it was raining and dark out. He wished the wind would blow hard and beat the rain against his face. He wished the thunder would clap and startle him. He wished the sky would churn with gray, angry clouds. He wished this beautiful sunrise would hold off until Brooklynn woke up. It was almost insulting to see such a beautiful day… Like the universe was making fun of what he told her. "Where's the rain and dreary weather…"

No one answered him… No one wanted to…

As soon as they're finished eating and head back to the hospital, Darius is at Brooklynn's door. He had to know if anything changed while he was gone. He rushes to her bedside, checking her monitors. Everything was as it was when he left. Still no response from her… She laid in the same position, hooked up to all the monitors and IVs… It was a horrible sight…

Darius pulls a chair closer and sits there, watching her. Looking for signs of life. "If only we could talk," he thinks, a pit of sadness in his stomach. "If only I could tell you everything… Tell you how much you mean to me. Tell you that it wasn't your fault. He forced you into it… You hate yourself for no reason… If only I could tell you that… Please… You can't die this way…"

His eyes dart away long enough to see two envelopes on the table next to her bed. There were no names on them. Nothing to indicate who they were addressed to. Darius leaves them alone for a moment, but then gets curious. He picks up one and opens it. The envelope was merely folded into itself, rather than sealed. He pulls out the contents. It was two slips of paper, blue lined with three holes on the left side. Simple paper from the supply store.

He opens it up and puts down the front paper. It looked unfinished. The paper behind it was the beginning of the letter, he realized as he read it. "Dear Darius, I'm probably dead now."

His heart drops and he looks at Brooklynn. It was her… She wrote this… She probably wrote it during her last moments…

A sense of dread fills him at the thought. Her last words to him… She had planned this all out… She fully knew what she was doing… She even planned her goodbyes…

Darius didn't want to read it, but he knew he had no choice. This could be the last link he had to her… These were her last words, should she never wake up…

"And I know it's tearing you up right now. I know it hurts. I don't know how to put into words what we were. We were everything. And yet, somehow, we were nothing. I mean, we were everything to each other, but we could've been more. Our relationship was everything, but we were holding back. Not living to our full potential. We could've been so much more."

Darius's heart leaps. Her words made his heart beat with excitement and love… But also with pain and sorrow… The words they left unsaid for so long… Now those words could only be communicated through a goodbye letter…

"We both hid it and denied it and pretended these feelings didn't exist. You were too uncomfortable with romance. I had my own problems. Through all these reasons, we never truly let each other know how we felt. All those reasons don't change the fact that we both know we loved each other. You are my best friend, Darius. And you've become so much more than that. Best friend can't describe what you are to me. You felt like you completed me. Like we were two hearts beating at once. One mind and soul in two bodies. Like we were meant to be…"

There were watermarks on the page. Marks from her tears. Tears Darius mirrored. Yes… yes… she had felt everything he felt! She had felt the same way he did! Why?! Why did she take her life like this?! Why didn't she tell him how she felt?! Why did she let her pain win?!

"I wish this was the very first page of our story," Brooklynn continues. "Not where the storyline ends. I think I just quoted Taylor Swift… To further quote her, I was enchanted to meet you. These are all the words I held back from saying. There's something I've hidden, Darius. A great secret. One that should've stayed in the shadows. On that I wish hadn't come out. Don't try to find ot. Just stay oblvious. You don't need to know. Its better if you dont."

"It's not what you think it is," Darius whispers, looking at her in the hospital bed. "You remember it wrong… It's nothing you did…"

"I mad a great misatke," Brooklynn writes, little mistakes starting to creep in as the drugs had begun to take over her mind. "You wouldve been better off whithout me. I wish my sercet had just died with me. Youve been the greatest freind Ive ever had. I wish we coudve been more. It wouldve been toxic. You deserve better. I know youll argue with me. But its true. You should love someone like you. Someone gret. Someone better than me. I love you so much Darius. And I want the best for you."

Darius knew… deep down… in her own twisted, self-hating way… She really did… She really did love him… She wanted what she thought was best for him… at the cost of her own life…

"Its just, Im nothing," Brooklynn starts to ramble. Her thoughts were definitely getting scrambled by the drugs, and her writing wasn't as clean. "Im literally nothing. Im not the special beautiful girl you think Im. Im just such amess and a monster and so dirty You dont undestand. Im good a pertending nd I shouldve just left. I dragged you all along for so long and you dont deserve this heartbreak because I you thought I was a good person. You should hate me. Just hate me! It would make things easier for you! I wish you all could see wat I see. You wouldnt be so attached if you did."

Fresh tears spill out as he grabs her hand. She wasn't conscious. She couldn't hear him, no matter how much he wanted her to. "No, you should've saw us the way we saw you. You don't… you don't deserve all this…"

"I regret it all. If I coud go back and do it again Iw ould. Im so ashamed. Greatest mistake of my life. Ive been so empty since. He took something something from me. Its just so empty. The emptyness hurts. I just want gone and filled. I thought you could fill it, but you werent enough. Nothing is evenough. I just want you to be happ…"

His heart drops.

"Please move on," she insists desperately. "Find someone else. Someone beter for you. I couldnt hold on. Im sorry… I couldnt hold on thrugh the night. I couldnt hold on till the sunrise. Im sorry. You have to hold on for me Darius. Hold on till the sunrise. Make it form e… I love uo… hold on… for some..ne… bet…r…"

Her writing becomes even more unintelligible. "I cant… it hurs… i wan… i gonne… im sorr… love you… i don… w…nt… o die… i don wan.. to… ie… h…lp… i ne…d he…p… hel… me…"

That was it. That was all there was. She didn't even get to finish it. Her last words were a cry for help.

And he couldn't answer it.

Darius rests his head on the side of the bed, clutching her hand tightly. If only she would wake up! She needed to hear him! He needed to tell her it wasn't her fault! This wasn't her! She didn't want to die! She was corrupted. Not in her heart, but in her memory of the event! She deserved to live! She didn't deserve to die… She had a tainted memory. A tainted idea of herself. She couldn't end like this… She couldn't go believing this about herself…

He was everything to her… She did it for him… But he wasn't enough. He wasn't enough to save her… "I should've helped you," he sobs. "I should've known! I should've sensed you were struggling! I should've seen that you were drowning! I should've known! I should've done more for you…"

"Was there something I could've done?" he asks tearfully. He didn't care if she couldn't hear. He had to ask. "Was there something I should've done? I should've known… You were drowning in guilt. Unnecessary guilt you shouldn't have carried. I should've seen the signs… I should've pushed you to open up… I should've helped you. If only I had known… If only I had known what happened to you. If only I could assure you that I don't see you differently. It doesn't change how I see you… I love you, Br…"

He chokes on the words. The words he should've said. He should've told her everything. How he felt. How much she meant to him. How beautiful and amazing she was. He shouldn't have left those words unsaid! Why did he realize how special she was to him so late?! Why didn't he realize it sooner?!

"I should've known the extent of your injuries…" he holds her hand to his mouth, giving it a small kiss. "If only I could tell you I love you… If only you could see that I mean it. I mean it from the bottom of my heart… My heart beats for you, Brooklynn… It's dying… It's hurting seeing you here. If your heart stops beating, mine threatens to do the same…"

He takes her hand and holds it against his chest, over his heart. "Feel it… It beats for you… Please… don't make it stop…"

He desperately, futilely hopes that maybe, just maybe, his heartbeat would bring her back. Wake her up. Do something for her. But she's still just as lifeless as before. "It doesn't matter what happened back then," he promises. "It doesn't affect how I see you. It wasn't even your fault… You're the only one who blames you…"

He opens his eyes, blinking through the tears to see a red stain. Blood. Blood on the sheets. She was bleeding!

Darius shoots up. A nurse. They needed a doctor! Where was someone to help?! She couldn't die like this! She had to live!

"Nurse!" he cries out, opening the door and rushing out. "She's bleeding. She's bleeding!"

Two nurses respond immediately, moving the blanket and examining Brooklynn. Darius paces. His heart was pounding. This couldn't be it. This couldn't be the end! They had to save her! She couldn't die!

"It's okay, she's not in any danger," one of the nurses tells him. "She's menstruating, she'll be okay. We'll put a pad down for her."

"Oh… It's just… her period," Darius thinks with relief, sinking back down into the chair. He felt dizzy with relief that she was alright… It really scared him. Brooklynn's period sure did like to pop up at the most unwelcomed times… Like back on the island in the middle of the night… The first time Darius had even heard of periods… His heart felt sick remembering that time… The good old times…

The present day had to be god awful for him to look back at their time on Isla Nublar as the good times… But at least Brooklynn was alive back then… Both in body and spirit…

At least… she seemed like it…

Darius looks up and startles. Yasmina was in the room. There was no warning. No sign that she had entered. She had merely spawned silently in the room, standing at the small window. She was peeking out, hands curled up on the blinds close to her face. Her eyes were wide and dark as she stared out. She looked like a deer in headlights, before her expression quickly turns into that of a hunting predator. "Her father…" she growls. "He won't even come see her…"

She tilts her head. Darius had no idea such a small movement could look so sinister…

His eyes dart to the other unopened letter and making small, slow movements, he picks it up. He sees that it's addressed to Yasmina. Hoping it would distract her from… whatever was going through her head, he tells her about it. "There's a letter."

It takes Yasmina a second to react. She slowly turns her head, her eyes taking a second to focus on him. "What?" she hisses.

"Brooklynn, she…" he stutters. "She wrote goodbye letters to us… This one's for you."

He slowly reaches out, offering it to her. Yasmina stares at the letter and draws her head back, twisting it in a way that felt emotionally broken and animalistic. Like the letter would kill her if she came near it.

Yasmina jerkingly takes a step forward, approaching the letter with extreme caution, like a stray cat approaching the outstretched hand of a rescuer. She hesitates again and again, wanting to read it, but being too scared to. Darius hadn't seen her so… so… feral.

He's about to pull it back, say it might not be a good idea for her to read it just yet when she snatches it. She takes small steps back, holding the letter in both hands tightly. Yasmina slowly sinks into the chair across from Darius, opening the letter and reading it.

Darius sits in complete silence, not moving a muscle. He watches carefully as Yasmina's eyes dart back and forth, flitting across the page. He didn't know what to do. Yasmina was not herself. Something was wrong. She wasn't okay…

Yasmina reads the whole letter in silence. Putting the letter down in her lap, she stares into nothing. Darius doesn't move an inch. He wasn't expecting this… This… this numbness wasn't normal. There was nothing from Yasmina. Usually there was something. Anger. Crying. Some form of reaction…

She stands and starts slowly, jerkingly pacing, her prosthetic changing up her gait. She didn't say a word. She didn't make a face. She just paced back and forth… Back and forth…

Finally she stopped. Darius could see a single tear slip down her cheek. Her leg twitches and she collapses. Darius leaps up. "Yaz!" he hisses, rushing to her side.

Her mouth was open, her face in agony, but not a single sound came out. She lays on the floor, writhing in agony as she silently screams. Her nails scrape the floor, looking for something to scratch or cling to. A choking, gargled sound comes out, and Darius pulls her up by her shoulders. "Yaz!" he gasps, afraid she was choking.

There was nothing physically choking her. Only grief and insanity strangling her throat and keeping her gut wrenched wails from escaping. Her fingers reach up and run through her hair before they tighten and pull at her scalp. She lets out a scream, choking and screaming and scratching her face and neck and head.

"Yaz, stop! Stop! Don't! Stop hurting yourself!" Darius begs, grabbing her hands and trying to restrain her. She was going insane! He shouldn't have let her read the letter! It sent her over the edge of insanity!

Yasmina lets out a wail, a cry that barely resembles English. "She's gone… She's gone!"

"No! No, not yet! We still have time, Yaz!" Darius insists, gripping her shoulders. Yasmina was losing it right in front of him and he couldn't help her. He couldn't stop her mind from unraveling.

"It's my fault…" Yasmina sobs. "I should go…"

"No! NO!" Darius shouts at her, hearing the same words Brooklynn had said come out of her. "Don't! Don't do it! You're stronger than this! You can make it! Don't do what she did!"

Yasmina starts to hyperventilate, making Darius panic even more. Everything was collapsing. Everyone was crumbling. He couldn't save Brooklynn. He couldn't save Yasmina. Everything was crashing down around him! The room was suffocating the two of them!

Finally, what feels like hours later, Yasmina's breathing becomes more even. That crazed, fearful look sets in again and she calms down. Darius holds her loosely with his arms and lets his head rest on her shoulder. She doesn't seem to notice. He was exhausted from the anxiety and adrenaline rush… But she had calmed down… Maybe she would be fine…

Yasmina gets up from the floor and slumps back down in the chair, staring at Brooklynn with a forlorn expression. Darius slowly paces in front of her, worried that another episode would start… He was worried for her mental state during all of this…

The door opens and a nurse steps in. "There's someone who would like to see you," she says.

Darius points to himself and she nods. "But, I… No, I can't leave…" he looks at Brooklynn, then Yasmina. He couldn't leave them alone. Not now.

"Your therapist is here. You have to come with me," the nurse says a little more forcefully.

"No, no, I can't leave," he insists, backing up. "She'll… I can't…"

"There's nothing you can do for her," the nurse says, impatient. "She's hardly there anyway."

"She's… hardly there?" Darius repeats, his whole being going numb. Who… Who did she mean? Brooklynn? Yasmina? Who was hardly there? Who couldn't they save? Who was too far gone?

As the nurse practically drags him out of the room, a chilling thought hits him. What if she meant both of them…

---

Darius is gently but firmly dragged out to the parking lot. He's greeted with the sight of a worried and rather hassled Mrs. Vetrovs. A small thought murmurs in the back of his head that perhaps she had other patients to see… Other things to do. Guilt surfaces at the thought. "I'm sorry to mess up your schedule," he mumbles as she comes to stand in front of him.

"It's okay, Brooklynn was supposed to… have an appointment with me at this time, anyway," she sighs.

This hits Darius harder than he thought it would. Life was supposed to go on. He should've been in school. Brooklynn should've been with Mrs. Vetrovs. They should've continued on with their lives like nothing had ever happened.

Except something did happen. Something very horrible happened, and they couldn't continue on. Their lives had been derailed. The train had crashed and they were all thrown out onto the ground, left to pick themselves up from the wreckage and put together the pieces of their life again. They were left to survey the damage to see who had survived… Or who hadn't…

Darius grits his teeth, blinking back tears. All efforts are abandoned as soon as Mrs. Vetrovs gives him a hug. It was too much… Too much to hold in…

This couldn't be it… This couldn't be it! They couldn't lose her! No, not Brooklynn… His heart ached for her. He wanted to talk to her… He wanted to explain to her everything that happened! That she wasn't who she thought she was. Her mind was the one making her feel so worthless. It wasn't a reflection of herself… She was living a lie. She had been drowning silently because she felt she wasn't worth it… She thought she couldn't ask for help…

He should've said something… They'd be better off if he had said something… If he had just realized that she was drowning… He thought her head was above the water. He thought she was swimming. Struggling, yes, but drowning? He didn't realize how far down she had sank… Was there something he could've said to stop this? Was there something he could've said to save her? Could he have done something to change her mind? To convince her that she was crazy? That she was in a vicious cycle of lies?

"I thought you could fill it, but you weren't enough," Brooklynn's letter hisses.

He wasn't enough… He wasn't enough to keep her there…

No, he had to be! He had to be enough! They were meant for each other! He couldn't… He had to save her! She couldn't be gone! They were meant to be… Their hearts beat as one. Their fates were intertwined. They couldn't be separated… He had to be enough… She was enough for him. She was everything to him! He couldn't have a future without her! How could he? She was everything to him… So why wasn't he everything to her…

No, he was. She was lying to herself. It wasn't that he wasn't enough… He just hadn't done enough… It was his fault she was gone… She'd still be here if he had been enough. If he had known. If he had filled that hole inside her… He should've saved her… He should've saved her…

"I should've saved her…" he sobs. Darius had no idea how long he had been talking. How long Miss Anita had been hugging him. How much he had said… It didn't matter much, anyway…

He's gently guided to sit down on the sidewalk curb. Miss Anita is at his side, one arm still around his shoulders comfortingly. "It's okay, deep breaths," she says, demonstrating herself. Darius is crying too hard to breathe evenly, but through patience, she helps him calm down… Sort of. "What's going on?" she asks. "Why can't you save her?"

Darius buries his head in his hands, choking up again. "She's dying… She thinks… not worth it… She's so worth it… I should've told her… She's everything… I should've said it… She thinks I'm not enough… I wasn't enough to keep her here… I should've saved her… Said something… Kept her alive… It's my fault…"

Darius pulls his knees to his chest and curls up as small as he can. He couldn't put into words everything he was feeling and thinking… He could barely explain any of it comprehensively.

By some miracle, Mrs. Vetrovs seemed to understand what he was trying to convey. "Brooklynn tried to end her life, and you feel like you should've done more. Should've said something. Should've known how much trouble she was in. She thinks she's not worth helping, but you wish you could tell her how much she means to you, hoping that would save her… It hurts to think that you're not enough to keep her alive?"

"She's… there's… a hole…" he stutters through his tears. "She's empty… She fills me… But I don't… I'm not enough to fill her… I can't… save her…"

"Darius, it's not your job to fix the emptiness inside her," Miss Anita says softly. "Nor is it her job to do the same for you."

"Then why did she try to kill herself?" he asks. "She was drowning… I should've seen the signs… I should've sensed it…"

"It's not your fault, Darius," the therapist insists.

"Yes, it is!" Darius snaps angrily. "Everyone keeps insisting that it's not, but it is! How can it not be?! It has to be! I wasn't paying attention! I should've paid more attention! It's my fault! It… it has to be…"

Miss Anita chooses her words carefully. "It has to be because… because you can't accept that some things are out of your control."

Darius glares at her.

"Brooklynn has become your life," she explains. "She's become your universe. Your life revolves around her. Your future is dependent on her and what she does. She makes your heart beat."

He stops glaring and looks away.

"She gives your life meaning in your mind…" she sighs. "And you expect that she feels the same way."

"So, why did she try to end herself?" his lip trembles.

"Because her own guilt and self-hatred were stronger than her codependency with you," Miss Anita explains. "Brooklynn gives you life, and you would do anything to protect her. You would do anything to protect what gives your life meaning. But you can't protect her from herself. She decided to do this of her own will, and you can't accept that because it makes you helpless. Your life is being stripped of the most important thing to you, and you can't do anything to stop it. You're finding ways to blame yourself because then at least you have some fault. You have some control in this situation, even if you can't do anything about it."

Darius scoots away from her, hugging his knees as he cries. Why… Why did she have to be right? Why did she have to be absolutely right?

"I… I'm… so helpless… right now…" he admits, hiccuping. "I want to help her… She can't die… She can't go out like this… I have to do something… I've got to do something… I have to be able to do something…"

"There's nothing you can do but pray," she says softly. "You can't talk to her. Can't change her mind. Can't heal her. The only people who can really do anything are the doctors. All we can do is pray."

A sharp pain shoots through his chest at the thought. No… There had to be something… "Maybe she can hear us," Darius says, desperately grabbing at any straws he could. "Some people say those in comas can still hear you."

"Darius," she sighs.

"Maybe she can still hear us!" he starts breathing heavily. "Maybe I can get through to her! If I can just tell her everything…"

"What's going through her mind isn't that simple, Darius," Mrs. Vetrovs sighs. "Telling her that she's believing a lie isn't going to fix things. Her mental state was more severe than we realized."

"I should've known," he hangs his head.

"How could you have known?" she asks. "You couldn't have. She fooled everyone."

"I knew her the best," he insists.

"Could you read her mind?" Miss Anita asks.

"No, b-but…" he stutters.

"Brooklynn was determined to die," Mrs. Vetrovs says the sobering truth aloud. "She wanted to die. She didn't want to be here."

"She didn't want to die," he insists. "I should've done something."

"What would you have done differently?" she asks.

"I… I should've told her I love her…" Darius reasons.

"And why would that change things?" she prompts. "What would you have said that you hadn't already said? She didn't want to live anymore. How much you loved her wouldn't have changed that…"

"If I could just…" he trails off, scratching every part of his mind for an answer. There had to be a way. There had to be something he could've done!

But she was right… If he truly looked back at things… Miss Anita was right… Ben was right… He had done everything… everything that he could… There was nothing more to do… Brooklynn loved him… and she was blinded by her self-hatred… His love for her wouldn't have changed that… Maybe if he had confessed, it would've made her spiral faster…

He goes back. Lists every interaction they had had. Thinks of every possible outcome. Every emotion he had seen her go through… Darius comes to the end of himself… He had tried everything… He had smothered her with love and protection, to the point where it gave him anxiety. He smothered her to the point where she was fed up with him… And it still didn't save her…

There truly was nothing he could do for her…

A deep, gut wrenching sense of loss settles in. It was as if someone had tied a rock around his neck and thrown him into the lake. He was sinking. He was drowning in this despair. There was nothing he could've done… There was no hope… Brooklynn didn't want to live… No… this couldn't be… He couldn't accept it! There had to be something…

He hears wheels and footsteps and knows it's Sammy. She was here to tell him it's okay. God's got it. Everything was going to be fine. As if Brooklynn hadn't just killed herself. As if there was something any of them could do.

"Stop!" his head snaps up. "Just don't! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear you pretending it's going to be okay and everyone's going to be fine! No one's okay! Brooklynn's not doing better! There's nothing we can do to save her…"

"There's nothing I can do to save her…"

All the anger evaporates as fast as it came, leaving a feeling of depression. "Just stop pretending…"

"Darius, she didn't say anything," Miss Anita says gently but firmly.

"But she always does…" he sniffs, feeling bad. He hadn't given Sammy a chance… She didn't deserve to be snapped at… She was just trying to help him… But he couldn't stand it. He couldn't endure it anymore. "I'm sorry, Sammy… It just feels so fake sometimes… Cause you don't even fully believe it yourself… You're just saying it to make me feel better and it doesn't cause I know you don't believe it yourself…"

"She just wants to comfort you and help out in any way she can," Miss Anita explains.

Darius squeezes his eyes shut, wanting to disappear. He knew that. He knew she was trying to help… Sammy was desperately trying to help… He just wishes she wouldn't use God and religion… Because… He couldn't go down that road right now… If it wasn't Darius's fault that Brooklynn's dying, then it had to be God's and… Darius wasn't sure what to think about that…

"Why did this happen?" he asks, breaking the silence. He knew Sammy was struggling with the question herself, but he had to ask. For both of them. See if she could answer it. Maybe… Maybe she could answer it for him… "Why would God let this happen? If it's not my fault… then it's God's… And if it's not God's fault… then who's is it?"

"The devil. That guy. Leah…" Sammy hesitates like she would hold back her words, but decides against it. "Brooklynn…"

He looks at her in shock. No. It couldn't be Brooklynn. Brooklynn didn't want to die. She was believing a lie. It wasn't her fault. She couldn't be blamed! It couldn't be her fault. It couldn't possibly be her fault…

"No one forced her to take those pills, Darius," Sammy explains, reading his reaction. "She did that of her own free will."

"She was out of her mind," he reminds her rigidly. "She wasn't thinking straight."

"But she still chose to do so," Sammy insists softly. "As mental as she became, she still had a choice. Nobody forced her to do it."

"Before this," Darius scrambles. "Before she tried. We should've helped her. We could've helped her."

They had time… They wasted it. They should've known. He should've known. He should've acted faster…

"And we tried," Sammy sighs. "Day after day in so many ways. If she's not responding to our outstretched hands, it's very hard to save her. She made up her mind that she couldn't be saved. She wasn't going to change her mind."

"We could've done something," he grits his teeth, hands shaking. He couldn't let it go… There had to be something they could've done!

"She gave up, Darius," Sammy says, trembling. "She was already dead in a way… The doctor's can resurrect her and bring her back to good health, but if her mindset isn't changed, would it fix anything?"

"It would give us another chance," he hisses, refusing to let it go. There had to be something!

"To do what? What would you do differently?" Sammy pushes.

He breathes sharply, unable to look at her. It was becoming very hard to escape that question… "I… I don't know…"

"We tried it all," she sighs tiredly. "What more could we say? What more could we do? How else could we communicate to her that she didn't have to do that? She was convinced… Convince this was the best thing for us…"

Darius's eyes well up with tears. He knew that… Brooklynn was innocent. On top of all her problems, she just wanted the best for her friends… If only he had let her know that her staying with them was better. That she was being lied to. That suicide would only make things worse…

"She thought she was a horrible person and that we'd all be better off without her…" Sammy says, trying not to cry. "There wasn't… I don't think there was any changing her mind. Our words and actions didn't change how she felt…"

"Cause we didn't say the right things. We didn't do the right things!" Darius gives excuses.

"If the doctors brought her back to life right now… Rehabilitated her… I think she'd end her life next chance she got… Or run away… Darius, if her mindset doesn't change, we're only delaying the inevitable."

Anger surges at the thought. "Is she unsavable?" he hisses.

A reserved, solemn look takes over Sammy's face. "By human means, at least. Maybe we could've gotten through in the beginning… But she spiraled into guilt, I guess… In her twisted mind, she was a disease to us. A cancer… She had convinced herself that she was doing this for our own good. How do you convince her otherwise? How do you change her mind? I think only God can at this point…"

Darius cries as he fumes. They had to have been able to save her… It wasn't her fault! "So where is she?" he asks, barely keeping it together. "Why hasn't God tried to help her?! Why did he let her get to this point?!"

"He has offered help," Sammy insists. "Every time we asked her if she was okay. Every time we urged her to open up about what was bothering her. Every time someone came across her path offering help. How many other people beyond us and our families offered help? Offered a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear? God moves through humans. He's offered her so many chances, Darius. But she has to take them. She has to accept the help."

"Why… Why?!" he gets up, pacing. "Why is it up to her?! Why does God have to wait for her to accept?! Why can't he just take her depression away?!"

Sammy claps back fast with a verse. "Cast all your worries on him, because he cares about you. Why are you worried? God cares. He doesn't want you to worry."

"Because my friend is dying!" he shouts, stepping forward. How dare she even ask that?! Why was Darius worried? Because Brooklynn was dying! Brooklynn had attempted to take her life, and Sammy was telling him she was unsavable! She was saying that they couldn't save Brooklynn! His best friend. His first love. Brooklynn was dying in her hospital bed and Sammy had the nerve to come to him and quote a verse and ask why he was worried. Did she even believe?! Wasn't she struggling, too?!

Before he can ask, she repeats herself. "God doesn't want you to worry and fear."

Darius scoffs, refraining from going crazy. "Then why won't he take it away? Just tell him to take it away!" "If he's God Almighty, then why won't he just fix things! Why won't he intervene?!"

"You're not casting it on him," she murmurs.

"What does that mean? Casting it on him?" Darius asks, fists curling up as he steps forward. Now she was hitting him with religious words. Sammy had better explain herself fast… He wasn't happy… He wouldn't hit her. He wouldn't dare physically hurt her. But there was about to be a huge argument if she didn't explain herself fast.

Miss Anita grabs his shoulder and pulls him back, afraid he was going to get physical. Sammy's mother steps in as well. Sammy, on the other hand, looked completely unmoved by his anger. In fact, she seemed to have a light bulb moment herself. "Giving it to him," she says, understanding dawning on her face. "Like a fishing line. Cast your line out. Throw your worries at him. Give it to him. God wants to take away our problems, but it's hard if you're clinging to them."

"What?" he shakes his head, still fuming slightly.

"Brooklynn refused to give up her guilt and depression," Sammy explains. "She didn't like it, and it hurt. But she didn't give it up. She held onto it, despite how much pain it caused. It's like… as much as it hurt, she was afraid of giving it up. Like she felt she deserved it for what happened to her. And so as much as she hated it, she clung to it and refused to give it up."

He shakes his head again, not following. Not wanting to follow her logic…

"You and Yaz and Kenji refuse to give up your guilt," she continues. "You're worried and upset because you blame yourselves for what happened. God doesn't want you to be in this state of mind, but you won't give up the guilt. You cling to the guilt. You take it and make it your own. You justify why you should have it. There is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ."

Darius swallows his tears and looks away. She was wrong… She was wrong…

"You don't have to be condemned and feel guilty," she says, her voice clear and strong. "God doesn't want you to feel guilty. But you won't let it go, Darius. That's why you can't feel at peace. You refuse to give God the thing causing you pain."

His tears rebel and slip out. No… He was right in feeling guilt… It was justified! His friend was dying because he couldn't save her! Because he didn't pay attention! B-Because…

"I refused to give up my self righteousness," Sammy says, brutally honest. More honest about her own problems then he could ever think of being. "I thought I could prove myself to God as if I could earn his love. I thought I could be good enough to run my life and fix things… I thought I was good enough to help you guys… And with self righteousness and pride comes anxiety. Worry. Insecurities. Because if you can't do everything yourself, who do you have to lean on? Other people? Then you're worried about losing them. I haven't been at peace because Sammy was the one at the center of my world…"

"Brooklynn has become your life," Miss Anita's voice plays in his head. "She's become your universe. Your life revolves around her. Your future is dependent on her and what she does. She makes your heart beat."

"And she can't…" Sammy murmurs. "She can't do it all. She can't save herself. She can't be happy enough or positive enough to make it through this world."

"Sammy…" Darius whispers, guilt deflecting and hissing that he had made her feel that way… That this was Sammy's way of coping with his outburst from earlier.

"God doesn't want Brooklynn to die," she promises. "He wants her to be saved. He's already done it. Jesus died for her. All she has to do is believe. God's done his part already. She has to do her part. If she doesn't want to surrender to him and accept his gift, then what else can he do? He's not going to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. You… You can throw a drowning person a lifesaver, but if they don't take it up, what can you do? You can swim out and grab them, but if they struggle, they might drown both of you. Or if someone was walking on burning coals. You could go out, burn your own feet, and pull them back, but if they don't want to be saved, they'll run right back out."

"Brooklynn!" Darius screamed.

"Get off the stage!" Sammy shouted.

"Stop dancing!" Yasmina cried hoarsely.

Brooklynn looked at them in Darius's dream, but didn't stop. She didn't heed their warnings. She continued to dance on the burning coals and screamed as her feet burned.

Darius breaks. He sinks to the sidewalk, curling into a fetal position. Miss Anita and Sammy's mother give him a hug, saying reassuring things to him.

He didn't listen to a single word they said. Sammy was right. Mrs. Vetrovs was right. Ben was right. They were all right. He had been lying to himself. He couldn't do anything… He had done everything he could… It wasn't enough… But he had tried… That hurt more than anything…

The dreams that haunted him come back. The dream about her being a ballerina, beautiful and perfect on stage. But behind the scenes, her instructor made her do something sinister… Leah being there and encouraging it… Darius had thought it was all symbolic… He thought it was a parallel for her Internet life, and that Leah was trying to make her do something she would regret… All along, it was a hint. A look into her past, right down to the ballet instructor being the bad guy… He had no idea then… He thought it was a warning. A warning to allow him to stop it. But it had already happened…

The other dream. The one with the demonic woman. The one Yasmina saw in the corner of her room before they found Brooklynn. The one who cut Brooklynn… "It's my fault…" Brooklynn whimpered.

"No, it's never your fault," Darius assured her.

"It's your fault!" Brooklynn screeched at him. "You weren't there! I was alone! You let her get me! She took it too far!"

"I didn't know she was there…" Darius whispered in shock.

The woman with knives had cut up Brooklynn and killed her… And then tried to hold him back. Brooklynn and his father had tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, but the knives woman wouldn't let him listen… Yasmina had seen her, too…

She was the personification of guilt. She was Brooklynn's guilt that pushed her to end her life. She was the guilt cutting and blaming Darius. Brooklynn and his father were telling him to let go of the guilt in the dream…

The coals. Brooklynn dancing as a ballerina on coals. She was on a self-destructive path, burning herself and refusing to move. They tried so hard in that dream to save her, but she kept moving out of reach… Brooklynn hadn't wanted to be saved… She refused to be saved…

His dreams from that morning… "You just don't get it," Brooklynn hissed. "You're not strong enough," she growled. "You're not good enough. You're not enough to save me. You can't do it…"

She leaned forward, the wires slicing into her throat. Her voice became gargled. "No matter how much you try… No matter how loving you are… No matter how many times you try to make me open up…"

She leaned forward even further. "You can die for me, and it won't be enough… It'll never be enough… You're only going to make it worse… You can't save me… Try dying for me… It won't fix me… It won't fix you… You'll never be able to save me…"

"No… No! I can! Brooklynn, just let me try!" he pleaded.

"It's not your decision," she hissed.

"No! Please!"

"You're not my Savior… You can't be and you never will be…"

"Brooklynn!"

He would die for her in a heartbeat… And still, she'd only take the blame and end her life. There was nothing he could do to stop her.

"Take it out," he told her. "Take out the dagger."

She looked up at him. "What dagger?"

"The one in your heart," he pointed to it.

"There's no dagger," she sniffed. "Only darkness…"

She couldn't see the wounds inflicted upon her… All she saw was corruption and shame.

"Brook, there's no blood," he said, then looked again. The dagger was stabbed deep into the pit of darkness… And the blood on her hands was hers. "It's your blood," he whispered.

"It's yours," she said softly, trembling with fear. "Where's my soul…"

Darius watched helplessly as she searched within herself for her soul. "I sold it," she said with heavy revelation. "I sold my soul."

"No, it was taken," he argued.

"I sold it!" she cried. "I want it back… I want it back, Darius…"

She tried to cover up the gaping hole in her chest. "I want this gone… This… This empty… hole… I want it filled…"

Darius moved forward and Brooklynn slowly dropped her hands. He gently covered the wound with his hand, trying to fill the empty void. Brooklynn looked at him hopefully, but her face soon fell. "It's not enough…" she began to weep. "You can't fill it…"

"No, I can," he promised, desperate.

"It's not enough…" she said sadly.

Try as he might, he wasn't enough for her… All his dreams… They had been warning him. Telling him to stop blaming himself. Telling him that he couldn't do it. It wasn't his fault. They were warning him that it was her… Brooklynn was choosing this path… She chose it out of pain and trauma and lies, but she chose it nonetheless… And as hard as he tried, he couldn't make her veer off that path… She was completely convinced in her delusions… Anything he did would've reinforced that idea…

He truly couldn't have saved Brooklynn… They had passed the point of no return with her… And he had tried his best. He had done the best he could with everything he knew. But it wasn't enough…

He couldn't help but blame himself… Miss Anita was right… It gave him control… How… How was he supposed to believe she was gone? That he had done everything he could and she still died? He couldn't accept it… There had to be something he could've done… Somehow, the guilt of not doing enough was better than the pain of not being able to do anything…

But he couldn't deny it anymore…

Sammy wraps her arms around his shoulders, and he leans into her touch. He was lost. Hopeless. A deep grief settles in his stomach. If he couldn't save Brooklynn… His best friend. His love. The one he had sworn to keep alive… How could he move on? She couldn't end like this…

"God, before she goes, give her one more chance," Darius pleads silently through his tears. "Don't let her go… Please, give her one more chance. I know it's her choice. I know she's convinced. Please… give her one more chance to see. Give her one more chance to change her mind. She can't go… Give her one more chance… Please…"

---

Author's note:

Next chapter: Yasmina's point of view. Train Wreck, by James Arthur. I have no idea when I'll be able to post that one...