Chapter Twenty-Four: You've Got a Friend in Me

Hill 122 finally fell, and the 90th could march across France. They rushed the injured to a collection of large tents, which acted as the infirmary. Alice, who came with the other nurses, had kicked Suzie out of the infirmary because Suzie had refused to leave Richard's side. He had fallen unconscious shortly before the medics arrived. Suzie had kept her fingers pressed against Richard's wrist, counting each pulse and praying for help.

A few days later, Suzie paced outside the infirmary tent, waiting for Alice to update her about Richard's condition. She had complimented Suzie's bandaging skills but had told her to get some fresh air and stay out of the way.

Vazquez appeared at one point and asked about Richard. He did not apologize for the argument, and neither did Suzie. She knew she would have to face the brass soon. She did not care. Richard's well-being always came first.

Her friend almost died, she had jeopardized her position in the army, and she could only pace and wait. She hated feeling useless and alone. She wanted her mom.

An MP came up to Suzie before Alice did.

"Private Riley Barnes, the Colonel wants to see you," the MP said. He gestured toward the Colonel's tent which stood on the opposite side of the camp and far away from Richard.

Resigning to her fate, Suzie sighed and glanced one last time at the burlap sides of the infirmary tent. Blood and medical chemicals permeated the air. The occasional shout of pain sliced through the bustling camp.

"I can walk by myself," Suzie said when the MP followed her to the Colonel's tent.

"I'm supposed to escort you," the MP replied. His bulk of muscle dwarfed her and his stiff demeanor made her feel even smaller.

Deciding not to push her luck, Suzie remained silent and let the MP lead her to the Colonel to hear her fate.

The MP held open the flap of the tent and motioned for Suzie to step inside. The flap closed behind her, and Suzie snapped into a salute when she saw Colonel Partridge. He had only been in command of the troops for less than a month, so Suzie stood ramrod straight until he signaled for her to relax.

"Private Riley Barnes, isn't it?" Partridge asked. He had a stocky build and thinning hair. A frown tugged at his lips as he leaned against his chair.

A small, wooden table served as his desk, strewn with papers and maps. Scattered around on crates, the ground, and other available spaces were radios and other small equipment. A buzzing mosquito flew around the Colonel's head, but he did not seem to notice. The disorganization of the whole tent made Suzie's eye twitch, and she suppressed the urge to stack the paper into a neat pile.

"Yes, sir," Suzie choked out. She intertwined her fingers behind her back to keep herself from doing or saying something stupid. She had rehearsed her defense while pacing in front of the infirmary. Richard had taught her how to give a thought-out argument. It helped to have a lawyer friend.

"I'm sure you know why you're here."

"Yes, sir."

"Because I have other matters more important than a soldier disobeying a ranking officer, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Corporal Vazquez informed me of your actions but I want to hear your side of the story." Leaning forward, Partridge placed his clasped hands on top of his desk and stared up at Suzie.

"I-I…didn't want to leave an injured soldier, sir," Suzie said. "Quite frankly, sir, I believe I am not wrong for what I did. We were always told not to leave the injured behind and I would never leave my friend. He's like a brother to me and I could never live with myself if he died while I obeyed Corporal Vazquez's orders."

Partridge pressed his lips together and crossed his arms over his chest. His chair squeaked beneath him as he leaned against the backrest. "Thank you for your testimony. I understand your position and why you did what you did." Suzie let out a sigh of relief, but Partridge held up a hand and stood. "However, I cannot trust a soldier who does not listen to his superior's orders. And for that, I am assigning you an MP to escort you around the camp. You are forbidden from going on any missions in the foreseeable future. You must re-earn your position if you want to stay and participate in future missions."

Suzie nodded. Out of all the possible scenarios, Partridge had given her the best. Although not great, she knew she deserved more and she appreciated this outcome. Being in the middle of crossing France and having overtaken a powerful Nazi stronghold certainly helped. Empathy and timing were on her side for once. She would have to endure it and deal with the consequences of her actions.

"I understand, sir," Suzie said.

"Go see your friend," Partridge said and dismissed Suzie.

"Thank you, sir," Suzie replied with a salute. She breathed a sigh of relief when she exited the tent, grateful for the result.

The same MP stood outside of the tent waiting to walk her back to the infirmary. When they reached the infirmary, Alice met them, her hands on her hips and her head tilted to the side. She glanced at the MP before turning to Suzie and raising a questioning eyebrow.

"You're still here." It sounded more like a statement than a question. "How'd it go?"

Suzie glanced at the MP standing nearby. He nodded and gave the two some space. She would have to learn his name considering he would follow her everywhere. It would become annoying at some point, but right now, Suzie felt hopeful.

"I'm under constant supervision and not allowed on missions."

"You don't seem concerned," Alice pointed out.

"I'm just glad I can stay." Suzie tugged at her jacket sleeve. The end of it already started fraying from her constant picking. The elbows also needed patching after weeks of crawling on the ground to avoid bullets. "How's—"

"He's awake and wants to talk to you," Alice interrupted. She leaned in closer to whisper in Suzie's ear. "I moved him to a more secluded area so you two can talk in private. No need to thank me. Just promise me you understand that sometimes being honest doesn't always end well."

"I know."

Alice patted Suzie on the back and lead her inside the infirmary tent. Suzie swallowed a lump in her throat and followed the blonde woman. The MP stayed outside after Alice ensured him that she would keep an eye on Suzie.

Entering the tent felt like stepping through a magical doorway leading to a whole new world.

They passed rows of injured soldiers lying on makeshift cots and nurses attending to the men. The entire tent stank of chemicals, blood, and sweat. Dark and crowded, they brushed against a cot or another nurse while navigating the maze of cots. Visitors were few and far between, making Suzie the odd one out. Cries of pain and muffled sobbing rose above the sounds of nurses rushing about.

In a far, decently secluded corner of the tent, Richard lay on a cot, his eyes fixated on the burlap ceiling of the tent. Suzie skimmed over his body and watched his chest rise and fall before releasing a breath she did not realize she had been holding. A blanket pulled up to his chest obscured the wound on his stomach. An IV snaked from a pole near his bed down to his left arm. Some color had returned to his face, but his thin cheeks had a gray tinge.

"You have a visitor," Alice announced. After checking Richard's vitals, she made her exit. "Let me know if you need anything."

When Alice left, Richard's head turned and he let out a weak smile once his eyes fell on Suzie. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Suzie bounced on the balls of her feet, unsure whether she should come closer. But Richard patted the side of his bed and Suzie immediately strode over and sat down, pulled by an invisible string.

Staring at her hands, Suzie picked at her jacket cuff instead of looking at Richard. She could feel his eyes on her and she did not look up until Richard's hand reached over and gently pulled hers away from her sleeve.

Even though Richard's hand felt chilly and soft, Suzie's hand burned like she had touched something holy. She did not deserve Richard's kindness. She did not deserve to be here, sitting next to him and gazing into his gentle, green eyes.

"I'm sorry," Suzie blurted out as she squeezed her eyes shut and pulled her hand from Richard's grasp.

"For what?" Richard asked. "You saved my life."

"For everything. For getting mad at you when you only tried to help, for lying, for things I don't remember. You got hurt because I'm stupid and selfish and—"

"Hey," Richard interrupted. He found Suzie's hand again and squeezed it. "It's not your fault. We're in the middle of a war, and... things…happen. 'Sides, I'm okay. I'm okay because of you. You saved me out there and I wouldn't be here if you hadn't."

"And I wouldn't be here without you. Garcia and Lemay could've killed me in the showers at Camp Barkeley if you hadn't stepped in. You've saved me so many times and I don't know how I'd manage without you. You're a hero, Richard, and you deserve better friends."

Richard chewed on his bottom lip as Suzie's eyes trailed to the side of Richard's pillow. She couldn't bear to meet his eyes. A knot twisted in her stomach. When did talking to Richard become so difficult?

"I couldn't ask for a better friend than you," Richard said.

Tears welled in Suzie's eyes and she tugged at her jacket sleeve again. She wrapped a loose thread around her finger and muttered into her lap, "Don't say such things."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a liar and a fake."

"Riley…"

Suzie shook her head. "That's not my name." She glanced around the tent. The nearest soldier lay unconscious a few feet out of earshot. Not trusting the distance, Suzie leaned closer to Richard.

"I've been lying to you the entire time we've known each other. I'm not who you think I am."

"I don't understand," Richard said. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Sensing Suzie's concern about privacy, he also scanned the tent for eavesdroppers.

"I don't expect you to."

"Please, just tell me. Whatever it is you're worried about, I won't be upset. I promise." Richard extended his pinkie finger and waited.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Suzie stared at Richard's finger before looping hers around his and shaking. She promptly let go, once again feeling as if the simple touch had burned her.

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Suzie muttered, "I'm not a man."

"What?"

"I'm not a man," Suzie repeated. She finally met Richard's eyes and dropped her shoulders in defeat. "I'm not Riley Barnes. I'm not supposed to be here."

Richard's mouth opened and closed several times. He took a sip of water from the glass, glanced up at her over the edge, and lowered it to his lap. He fumbled over his words before sputtering, "You're talking nonsense."

"I'm not a man, Richard," Suzie persisted. "I'm pretending to be one."

When Richard did not respond, Suzie continued, "Remember when I asked you about your favorite flower and you said sunflowers?"

"Y-Yeah?" Richard's face appeared more confused than before. He took another sip of water.

"Well, I said lilies are my favorite 'cause it's my middle name. And I didn't lie then. Lily is my middle name because I'm not a man. I'm just a stupid, little girl playing pretend so I can find my brother who's probably already dead. I lied to you. My name isn't Riley, it's Suzie. Suzie Lily Barnes."

Moments passed as the two stared at each other. Suzie looked away first but she could feel Richard's eyes boring a hole into the side of her head. A large, invisible hand wrapped around Suzie's chest and crushed the air from her. She couldn't breathe and she wished to sink into the ground and disappear forever.

"Well," Richard eventually muttered. The water glass on his lap rested in his double-handed grip, calm and unshaken. "I guess you're not gonna be a groomsman at my wedding anymore."

The invisible hand's grip tightened into a vise and yanked at her heart. Suzie hung her head. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the thread from her jacket snapped off and floated to the ground. A million pre-imagined scenarios did not prepare her for the way her heart dropped to her stomach. She had expected Richard to react in anger or confusion, but no amount of expectations could not ease the pain in her chest.

"You'll be a bridesmaid instead."

Suzie's head jerked and she stared at Richard with wide eyes. "What?"

"You'll be a bridesmaid," Richard said, plain and simple. No malice or joking appeared in his voice or expression like he had stated a well-known fact in school.

"Why?"

"You're my friend."

"But I lied to you. I'm not—"

"So?" Richard interrupted.

"I-I-I'm here illegally." Why didn't Richard hate her? Most people would hate her for what she had done—why didn't he?

"And?"

"You're not upset?"

"Should I be?"

"Y-Yeah..." Suzie blinked. Richard's reaction had thrown her for a loop. His nonchalance and matter-of-fact attitude bewildered her. "I-I'm a woman."

"I don't care." Richard shrugged. "It doesn't change anything."

"It should."

"But it doesn't. If anything, I just think you're selling yourself short."

Suzie's mouth gaped open and she glanced around the tent again. Nobody else had heard their conversation. She had not expected this reaction and she did not know how to respond. She tilted her head like a curious puppy and stared at Richard's calm face. Her brain refused to work and she sat thinking while her mouth moved without forming coherent words.

"I-I d-don't understand," Suzie admitted, now the one confused.

Adjusting himself against the pillow, Richard set his glass of water on the bedside table and gave Suzie a reassuring smile. "It shouldn't matter who you are as long as you can get the job done. You've passed all the training and done all the work." He smiled again.

"If anyone's the hero, it's you."

"I'm not—"

Richard held up a hand to stop Suzie from protesting. "You didn't need to be here but you are. Women aren't required, or expected, to enlist, but you did it anyway, rather unconventionally, but you're here. And your actions have shown me who you really are, more than flashy words and stacks of paperwork. You want to help no matter what; and I don't care if you're a woman, you're still my friend. And I still wouldn't trust anyone else to watch my back."

Fresh tears rolled down Suzie's cheeks and she traced the pattern of the tiny threads of the blanket. A few drops landed on Richard's white blanket, leaving behind small dots on the cotton.

"Why do you still trust me?" Suzie asked.

"You haven't given me a reason not to." Richard held out his hand and slid it into Suzie's view with his palm facing upward.

It took a moment for Suzie to slide her hand into his. This time, it did not burn. It stung a little as if she had tarnished his goodness simply by touching him, but now it hurt less knowing Richard still cared.

"If anyone else found out, they'd send us both home," Suzie said.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." Richard shrugged. "I'm not much of a fighter anyway."

Suzie squeezed Richard's hand and smiled as tears painted tracks down her face. She finally met Richard's gaze. "Thank you."

"That's what friends are for." Richard mirrored Suzie's smile. "'Sides, I've always been into mysteries. I can keep a secret when needed." He winked and flashed his signature, mischievous grin.

Suzie let out a small laugh. "I'm glad you understand."

"And I'm glad you told me. We're okay. We'll be okay." Richard shifted in the bed and reached for his water glass. He winced and suppressed a groan but smiled when Suzie expressed concern. "Who else knows?"

Although she couldn't see the bullet wound, she wished she could take a look. The thick blanket hid it from sight. It must hurt even with the morphine and Alice's expert care.

"Just you, Alice, and Stone."

"Really? Stone knows? And Alice?" Richard asked, shocked.

"For a lawyer, you're pretty stupid," Alice said, walking up to the duo and causing them to startle. Holding up her hands to show she meant no harm, Alice rolled her eyes. "I figured it out a long time ago. It's rather easy to tell the difference. Everyone here is either blind or really stupid."

"Or maybe he-she," Richard corrected, "is great at disguises."

Suzie smirked until Alice raised an eyebrow in judgment.

"Yeah, definitely not." Alice ignored Suzie's offended frown. "I see everything went well but visiting time's over. Wrap things up, Barnes, you gotta go. The MP guy's been waiting, and I wouldn't make him mad if I were you. You're already in trouble, don't make it worse."

"Yeah, I know," Suzie said. She turned toward Richard. "Thank you for understanding. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Don't worry. It's okay," Richard assured. Gosh, the things she could do if she had even an ounce of Richard's laidback attitude. "Nothing's changed between us, so don't worry. We're still pals."

They said their goodbyes and Alice lead Suzie out of the infirmary. The sun already started to set, turning the sky golden. The MP escorted Suzie to supper, trailing her like a shadowy presence, but she didn't care.

A heavy burden had lifted from her shoulders. And although she carried a career-ending secret, as long as she had Alice and Richard's help, everything would turn out fine.

Somewhere in France

"Why am I not getting any letters?" Bucky complained.

A Jeep carrying supplies and the latest mail for the soldiers had arrived. They had been off the grid for a while, working on the SSR's more dangerous and secret missions. A Jeep signaled cause for celebration, and they ripped into their mail like ravenous vultures.

"Maybe it's lost somewhere?" Dum Dum Dugan offered. He walked away as he tore open his envelope like a leprechaun finding a pot of gold.

"I'm not getting anything either," Steve said. He watched the other men wander away to read their letters from home. "I've been writing every week."

"So have I," Bucky said. "No one's responded since Azzano; you'd think we'd get at least one. I told Ma I was okay. And nothing! Not a single letter! Maybe something's wrong."

Steve rested a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I doubt it. I know for me, I didn't redirect my address, so they've probably been sending them to my apartment's PO box."

Bucky paused and blinked. He frowned and whirled on Steve so suddenly that it caused Steve to take a step backward. "You didn't redirect your address?!"

"No."

"Did you tell anyone where you were going?" Bucky asked. His hands shifted to his hips, reminiscent of his mother.

Despite his bulk, Steve tried to make himself smaller. His cheeks and ears reddened.

"No."

Bucky made a choking sound.

So dramatic.

"So you just up and left and didn't tell anyone where you're going or what you're doing?"

Aware of Bucky's tendency to lecture him about being stupid and needing to think before he acted, Steve looked away. His face burned with embarrassment. He hated Bucky's lectures but Bucky always had solid arguments and justified concern.

"I didn't want them to worry," Steve muttered. He stood in the middle of the camp and accepted his fate like a child being scolded by his mother. At least the other guys were too engrossed by their letters to watch their leader's humiliation.

"Oh, I'm sure that worked out well," Bucky exclaimed sarcastically. "Congrats, Steve, on winning 'Moron of the freaking Century.'

"What was I supposed to tell them?" Steve protested.

"I don't know!" Bucky threw his hands into the air. "Something! Anything!" He took a deep breath and half-turned away with his hands on his hips. "Dammit, Steve."

"It's not like I could tell anyone about Project Rebirth and joining the army and whatnot. I didn't exactly have time to say goodbye."

Unsure if he wanted the answer or not, Bucky dragged his hands over his face and let out an exasperated groan. When he turned to face Steve with one hand over his eye and the other on his hip, his voice stayed calm.

"When did you first leave with the SSR?" Bucky asked into his forearm. He kept his eyes shut as if not looking would make everything go away. If he couldn't see reality, reality couldn't see him, right?

"Two days after you shipped out for Europe but Dr. Erksine signed my enlistment forms the night of the Stark Expo."

Bucky made another choked sound. "Steven Grant Rogers!" He took a second to pace with his hands clasped on top of his head. "With all due respect, what the hell?!"

Mentally kicking himself, Steve held up his hands to try to calm Bucky down. "I know. I know. I should have told someone. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Maybe they're not sending letters 'cause they're so busy looking for you. There are probably posters of you all over Brooklyn. And it's not like anybody will find you 'cause you're in France right now, and you're," Bucky gestured at Steve's body, "...different. Dammit, Steve, what the hell were you thinking? Ma's probably all worried right now. You know how she gets."

Staring at his boots, Steve realized he had messed up. Guess he had not thought far enough ahead when Peggy and Dr. Erksine let him join the army. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to them."

"Kind of hard to do when no one's responding."

Suddenly shifting moods, Bucky's shoulders dropped and his demeanor sobered. "Do you think they're okay?"

Sensing his friend's concern, Steve frowned and touched Bucky's shoulder. "I don't know why they wouldn't be. They're probably worried, yes, but I'm sure they're okay."

Bucky glanced up, meeting Steve's eyes. "You think so?"

"We can only assume so. Until we get a response, all we can do is wait."

Suzie will meet up with Bucky and Steve soon. :)