FOREWORD

Having played Genshin Impact, I wished to do a fic eventually. I did write one set in Sumeru, but as a crossover with The Sandman, partly inspired by Naughty Tome's Unleashed. A Potterverse crossover has always been on the cards for me to write, and it doesn't help that the only other crossovers between the Potterverse and Genshin Impact (as of writing) are somewhat underwhelming.

While I intended to write a longer crossover, focusing on an AU of the Sumeru arc (currently titled My Sister's Keeper), this idea came about not long after I pulled Klee on her recent gacha. Klee is endearing in an adorably psychotic way, a bit like Tiny Tina from Borderlands, but with less overt crazy. And her mother Alice is an intriguing background character whom I could see adopting a younger Harry. This oneshot is the result, something to get a plot-bunny out of my head without committing to a full story.

Anyway, time for the disclaimers. Firstly, there will be annotations, and I don't want to hear any bellyaching.

Secondly, there will be spoilers.

Finally, this is a fan-written work. Genshin Impact, Harry Potter, and the characters and scenarios are property of their respective owners. Please, support the official release. Otherwise, Alice will turn you into a fine pink mist, courtesy of explosives…

WHAT MY BROTHER AND I DID ON OUR HOLIDAYS

"Oh my…now that was an interesting trick, boy."

The boy flinched when he realised there was someone else up with him on the roof. A woman with red clothes, topped by a pointed red hat. The woman had blonde hair, warm orange eyes, and…were those pointed ears?

"I'm sorry, I…I didn't mean to, but…"

"Don't apologise to me, boy," the woman said, her smile changing from an amused smirk to something more solemn. "I happened to be in the area when I saw that Mitachurl-wannabe and his little minions chasing you. You put on an impressive turn of speed for a scrawny thing like you. But when they cornered you…ah, yes…Apparition, a trick of the local wizards and witches. Doing it all by instinct, and without leaving bits of your body behind…that's impressive magic."

"…But magic isn't real."

The woman chuckled. "If it isn't real, then I am the Raiden Shogun." She snapped her fingers, and what looked like a glowing orange clover began orbiting her body. "Magic is real, and I am a witch. Not of the local variety, I should add. I come from a place far away. The name's Alice. What's your name?"

"…Harry Potter…"

What My Brother and I Did On Our Holidays, by Spark Knight Klee of the Knights of Favonius.

It all started when my big brother was visiting me in the Confinement Room. We talked about things. Then, blue flames appeared, and suddenly, we were in another castle. There was a cup filled with those flames, and some old guy asking whether my big brother was Harry Potter, which is a dumb question, as he is. He then said that my big brother was in some sort of tournament. Yay!

Jean Gunnhildr, Acting Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius, was under a lot of stress at the moment. One of the sources was here and now, standing in front of her. He wasn't as bad as Klee, thankfully, and acted as a restraint on the boisterous, explosives-obsessed girl. But his adoptive mother, the famed mage and travel writer Alice, had been a bad influence on Harry Potter.

"Do you know why I called you here, Harry?" she asked.

"It's because I am yet to give my report of what happened, and Klee's reads like a primary school essay?" the Mage Knight of the Knights of Favonius asked. "I mean, to be fair, I was trying to ensure the newcomers got situated. Hermione's getting along very well with Lisa, of course, as is Lupin, Luna is brainstorming with Klee, Sirius and Rosaria have gone out drinking, and Ron is being shown around by Amber. And I was catching up with Sucrose."

"…Yes, I understand that, Harry, and I'm sorry to drag you away from Sucrose, I really am. But Alice was very coy with the details, Sucrose and Albedo could only tell me so much when Alice took them to your homeworld, and this…" She waved the sheets of paper in her hand pointedly. "…Only tells me so much. The fact that you also angered the magical government back on Earth is telling."

Harry looked at her flatly. "They were taking bribes from the terrorists who were trying to kill me. Fudge was a coward who liked taking kickbacks, and Umbridge…the Fatui could take lessons on how to be utterly nasty while being polite from her. Plus, she looks like she has a toad or two in her ancestry."

"True, but I need elaboration. I can gather what happened from what I know so far. Between Klee, Alice, Sucrose and Albedo's testimony, I've got most of the picture already. Someone put your name into this magical artifact that brought you back to Earth, and forced you into a contract to participate in this magical tournament. You couldn't go back easily, so you agreed to stay, while using an artifact Alice provided you with to call for her aid."

"That's about right. I was also pretty nettled when that old man, Dumbledore, had the gall to say I should have stayed with my relatives. He should be grateful I told Mum not to blow them up."

Jean cleared her throat pointedly, and quoted from Klee's 'report', "Big brother set fire to the annoying old Bumblebee's beard."

"…He put it out quickly, Jean. He only lost a few inches of what had to be at least three feet. And he actually apologised afterwards when I brought up Mum's name. Apparently he and Mum have met before. Something about helping him blow up some dark wizard's secret lab back during the Second World War on Earth. He wasn't bad, he was just an idiot, something about Blood Wards that would have protected me from Voldemort, the guy who murdered my birth parents."

Jean, after a moment, said, "Well, Alice did put the fear of…well, her into him, and by all accounts, he treated you well enough afterwards, so there's that. But, well, and I quote once more, Klee and Harry were harassed by meanies who called Klee a half-breed, and Harry a mongrel Halfblood. They stole Jumpty-Dumpty, and Harry smacked them until they were sorry."

"Ah, yes, Draco Malfoy and his army of sycophants. They were pretty much acting like the Lawrence family do, you know? And honestly, I was all for allowing them to kill themselves with Jumpty-Dumpty, but that would have left an even worse impression than I had already. Their head, Snape, wasn't impressed with me. It took Mum putting the fear of…well, her into him to get him to lay off. And even then, he kept trying to pin stuff on me. I guess she didn't frighten him enough."

"Is that the 'greasy-haired, big-nosed mean teacher'?" Jean asked, getting a nod. "Very well. I think I can discern the rest for a time. You were called to some sort of press conference, and did well enough, despite the muckraker there. But then, during the First Task, you had to face a dragon with only your Catalyst. They kept wanting you to use a wand, but you preferred your usual Catalyst. And…if I'm reading this right, you basically blinded the dragon…and most of the audience, with an explosion?"

"Lupin and Hermione were helping me, and once I learned it was a dragon, I was about to blow them up when they pointed out to me that they were actually nesting mothers," Harry said. "Hermione told me how flashbang grenades work. Though most of the judges gave me only small amounts of points for that, claiming they couldn't see what I did."

"Klee certainly liked it. She thought it was the brightest flash she had seen since levelling Stormbearer Mountains," Jean said with a rueful smile. "I'm glad you showed some responsibility in preventing the death of the dragon. Sucrose also filled me in on what happened during the Yule Ball. Apparently Eula's dancing lessons paid off for you two. I've never seen her smiling so much for so long when she came back with Alice." But then, her face fell. "But then, the Second Task. I know you tried to stop Klee from blast-fishing in the lake near Hogwarts, as did Dumbledore, but she didn't listen, and aroused the ire of the Merpeople there after sneaking out one time too many. When the hostage for that Task was selected, despite Dumbledore's attempts at brokering peace with the Merpeople as well as his objections, Klee was selected as your hostage. Her report didn't have much, only that you were angry and crying afterwards when she woke up."

"That's because Bagman and Crouch Senior chose her, and overrode Dumbledore," Harry snarled, his earlier good mood gone. "I think Barty Crouch Junior, the one masquerading as Mad-Eye Moody, pushed them into it, hoping to piss me off and ruin my image. Well, it worked. Those damn Merpeople were about to kill Klee."

"You killed them yourself," Jean pointed out.

"Only after I swam to the surface as hard as I could. They kept following me, most of their warriors, looking to kill Klee and even me. I Apparated to shore after leaving them a bomb spell to deal with. And that was after repeated attempts to get them to stand down. They tried to murder Klee and myself over some shockwave-induced migraines, not any serious injuries or deaths. They're lucky I didn't leave a bomb in their village, or the Merpeople in that lake would be extinct. As it was, only three of them died, and they should be grateful it wasn't more."

His expression was singularly unrepentant. It wasn't that he liked killing: as loose as his morals had been due to his upbringing by Alice, Harry still had morals all the same, and while he was a bit too happy to resort to lethal force towards animals or monsters, sentient beings like the Merpeople were another matter entirely. But he was also protective towards his little sister. Anyone who threatened her life would have theirs under threat in turn. Just ask the Abyss Mages who had attacked her before. Same with Sucrose, who even before this abduction, had pretty much become Harry's girlfriend. Jean was happy for the shy alchemist.

"It still caused a mess. Klee speaks of the 'mean reporter woman', presumably the muckraker Skeeter. I can guess what happened afterwards, given Klee's report and what Alice told me. And then, the Third Task, where you were kidnapped to a graveyard along with the Hogwarts champion, Cedric Diggory, who was murdered by an accomplice of Voldemort."

"Yeah, Peter Pettigrew, the literal rat bastard who betrayed my parents," Harry said. "They took my wand and my Catalyst away, but they didn't take away my Vision. That was their mistake."

"And you turned that graveyard into a glass-lined crater," Jean said. "Not that I disapprove of these terrorists being disposed of in such a matter, given that they were threatening your life and had already murdered Cedric, but magic was concealed in that world."

"I don't care. And considering what Barty Crouch Junior was doing to Klee…"

"Ah, yes." Once more, she read from Klee's 'report'. "…After Big Brother vanished, I fell asleep. When I woke up, Fake Mad-Eye was about to hurt him. We hurt him instead. Then he turned into another guy. They took me to the Hospital Wing."

"Long story short, Mad-Eye, as you know, was a fake. He was being impersonated by Barty Crouch Junior, a Death Eater. He tried to hold Klee hostage to try and get his own way, to take revenge on me for blowing up Voldemort. Again, he didn't understand what a Vision was, and basically, Klee distracted him with a Jumpty-Dumpty to the face. He survived, thanks to a shielding spell, but it distracted him long enough for me to knock him out."

"And, if Alice is to be believed, he lost an arm thanks to what you did. Alice very nearly made him lose more than that. Then again, he lost his soul thanks to the Minister and a Dementor, apparently. Thank Barbatos we haven't got such things here." Jean sighed. "Very well. I do expect a more complete report before long, Harry."

"Here's most of it," Harry said, handing over a pile of papers. "Well, it's a rough draft, I'll get the rest done before long. Oh, and an extension of leave. Just for a couple of weeks to get some affairs in order."

"Affairs?" Jean looked at the leave application form, and noted the destination. "Sumeru? Why are you going to Sumeru?"

"…Let's just say that Luna has a very good friend by the name of Nahida that's in need of help in Sumeru…"

Jean looked at the form, and signed her approval. She wondered whether she would regret such an action. Still, it meant Harry and Klee would be someone else's problem, for now.

But once they were back, she would be glad of it. They were, after all, valuable members of the Knights of Favonius. And they were like little siblings to her, much like her sister Barbara was. Rambunctious and wilful though they were, she couldn't help the affection she felt.

She only hoped they wouldn't cause too much trouble in Sumeru…

THE END

STORY ANNOTATIONS:

Oh Jean, you just dared the universe.

Alice's outfit is basically a more grown-up version of Klee's recently-released alternative outfit.

I had the notion of Harry and Jean's relationship being a bit like a toned-down version of that between Alucard and Integra in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. Harry isn't as oblivious as Klee to the harm he could do, but he still enjoys a bit of mayhem, thanks to his mother's influence. Sometimes, he goes on very enthusiastic walks (often with his sister) that proves to be a major headache for Jean.

Also, pairing Harry with Sucrose was a hangover from an earlier crossover story idea I had, Sweet Alchemy. Honestly, she's a real sweetie, and I think Harry might have drawn her out of her shell.

And yes, Luna has a link somehow to Nahida, just as Harry does in my (hopefully) upcoming Nahida-centric fic, currently titled My Sister's Keeper. And now Harry and Klee know about Nahida's plight. The Sages are doomed.

No numbered annotations this time.