Rich People Shit
Disclaimers I don't own RWBY, please support any to all official releases.
It was another day in the lounging area in the walls of Beacon Academy that we see everyone's favorite junior detectives just chilling and watching the Beacon Minute on TV.
"…To the shock of everyone, outworlder and Faunus Bruce Wayne managed to turn a quick buck here in the world of Remnant with his innovations and business savvy tactics, launching this billionaire Gotham elitist into remnants first and successful trillionaire, In other news, the Hero from Hell, Art Legend…" said the anchorman on TV as their words soon became background noise to Sun and Neptune.
"Dude, that's awesome for Bruce man, I wonder if he can give me some pointers to become a billionaire" said Sun, "Seriously, I mean, if I was in Bruce's shoes, I'd be living the life of luxury and not being a huntsmen you know, because I'd be doing rich people shit" said Neptune.
"Rich people shit, like what" asked Sun, "Ok, for starters a trillion bucks would be the limit on my Visa, straighten out the tower of Pisa, and if I decide to chill in Atlas, and wanted some Vale Pizza, I'll have your mom deliver it to my mansion in an Ibiza" said Neptune.
"Is that all buddy" asked Sun as he knew his bro wasn't done, "Course not, I'd buy my self condoms made of platinum so in the bedroom I'm a be shinning, and when I finally get my girlfriend pregnant our baby will be made of diamonds, and you know my pet goldfish, he'll have his own private jet, just don't ask him any questions though cause his status will be that of a private pet" said Neptune.
"That sounds nice buddy, but you're thinking to small now" said Sun, "Oh yeah, would you do smart guy" asked Neptune.
"First of all I'd buy myself a yacht on yacht on yacht on yachts, I'd take every single boat the world got, cause if I had money I'd have lots" said Sun as Neptune shuttered since yachts meant water.
"In fact I'd buy countries, I'd buy islands, and have a pool inside my private plane, and to top it off, I'd rearrange the menagerie islands so it now spells my name, I'd be hiring the King of Atlas and have him carry all my baggage, before I decided to buy the Mona Lisa and hang it on my fridge with a magnet" said Sun.
"Sounds great, and kinda douchey, which I gotta respect" said Neptune, "Yes, but aren't all rich guys like that" said Sun as the duo shared a laugh.
"Hey guys, what's got you laughing this time" asked Jaune as he was with Ren in another brotastic adventure.
"Rich people shit" said Neptune, "Rich people shit" asked Ren in confusion, "You know like if we had a lot of money and what would we do with it" said Sun.
"Oh so like a millionaire or billionaire" asked Jaune, "Trillionaire" added Ren, "More like on the lines of a gazillionaire" explained Neptune.
"But gazillion isn't even a proper form of denomination" pointed out Ren, "We know, but it's the best way to point out what would we do with a shit ton of money for rich people shit" said Sun which made sense upon explanation.
"In fact what would you guys do if you could do rich people shit" asked Neptune.
"Hm, honestly I would really like to go to mars, but I don't really want to fly, so I guess I'll have be brought to me" said Ren, "Come on guy, shut up" said Sun with a hearty laugh, "What I know a guy".
"But to ground us back to a sense of reality, if the next time I go to Chipotle and they charge me extra for guac, I'd by the whole company and dilute all the stock, also me, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Mark Zuckerburg would be friends, we'd be cool" said Ren.
"Seriously man, I'd have Jeff Bezos clean my pool, Elon Musk would be my personal foot stool, and Mark Zuckerberg would be dressed as my personal court fool" said Neptune.
"The Kobe beef I'd be eating would have some flavor" said Sun, "I'd probably be eating only plants and animals that are endangered" said Neptune.
"I'd do the smart thing and give my money to the parliament and kingdom, so if my business fails the king would bail me out" said Ren as the group shared a laugh.
"Yeah, it be so much easier if we were all billionaires" said Sun, "Like for real man" interject Neptune.
"Well hold on, maybe we could do some good and use some of that money to solve world hunger, cure diseases, and deal with the homeless in the most humane manner" quipped Jaune.
Unfortunately it wasn't what people expected to hear, because you know, one that's a given without saying, and 2 this is conversation about being a selfish rich asshole.
"Jaune, that's nice and all, I think we'd all do something like that, but think about the bigger picture as to what would Jaune want, when he's a millionaire or billionaire" said Sun, "Or Trillionaire" added Ren, " Gazillionaire or… hey guys what's comes after gazillionaire" asked Neptune.
"Nothing, because gazillion isn't a proper form of denomination to begin with" said Ren once more before his phone buzzed, reminding him he had to make dinner.
"Anyways we got to go guys, but before that, do you guys have the 4 bucks you owe me" asked Ren towards Sun and Neptune.
"Oh no man, we're broke until payday" said Sun, "No worries we'll pay you soon. Let's go Sun and try to get some waters from the drive thru" said Neptune as the duo split.
"Jaune, aren't you coming back to have dinner with the team" asked Ren, "You guys have dinner without me, I'm actually gonna meet Art right now, he says he's got a big idea to get rich and wants me to be his partner" explained Jaune.
"You mean Art Legend, the Hero from Hell, self proclaimed immortal, and the guy who's into your girlfriend Ruby" asked Ren, "Well… yeah, but no worries he seems like a good enough guy and we've had a stern talk about him hitting on my girl, anyways got to go" said Jaune.
Wishing his brother well, Ren couldn't worry since he had no idea what this immortal had in store for Jaune.
Well he and everyone found out a few days later when it was discovered they started their own YouTube Channel and decided to do the MrBeast approach, meaning start doing videos surrounding stunts and pushing science to it's limits, before doing challenges that involved giving their friends and strangers a chance to earn money, new car, and housing, before doing charitable stunts to really win the hearts of the people.
That was 3 years ago; today Jaune was enjoying the life as a young billionaire while working as a huntsman, like Batman, except this time he's got time for love and has proudly announce his engagement to Ruby during their graduation ceremony.
They plan to get married this fall and enjoy their honeymoon out in Jump City California, while Ren, Sun, and Neptune are fighting for the title of best man in a MrBeast fashion game that's being streamed and hosted by who else, but Art.
And here you guys go, another RWBY one shot for mainly shits and giggles, I know it's a bit cheesy towards the end, but it's currently 1 am where I'm at and I've written this all in one take, so… yeah.
As always before sure to fave and follow, though the latter can be questionable, if you want to see more one shots like these, and please be sure to leave you thoughts in the review section cause I enjoy getting feedback and hearing your guys thoughts.
Until then, be safe, be good people, and please support you local fandom community.
This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3