Shirou lay sprawled on the floor of his room, looking at the ceiling.
They had returned from the steelwork just as the evening was about to set in. The mission was a success. Everything went better than expected. They got Rider back and managed to put her curse under control for the time being.
That counted as a victory, right? At least that's the way he saw it.
Clearly not everyone was of that same opinion, considering what happened as soon as they got back.
[br]
The group appeared out of a cloud of black smoke, as usual. Rider was still clutching Emiya's jacket over her chest to protect her modesty. It was strange seeing the usually aloof Servant all embarrassed, especially considering that she normally fought in a short battle dress, kicking and flipping around completely unconcerned about exposure.
Then again, Rin had an idea why she was suddenly so self-conscious, but she had more important things to worry about.
"Alright," Emiya said as soon as the portal was closed behind them. "I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little hungry. Tohsaka, Saber. Are you staying for dinner?"
"Hold up, Emiya. We need to talk," she said.
"Hm? What's wrong Tohsaka?" he asked. "You seem upset."
"Do you really have to ask? Caster, since you seem to be the brain of the couple, do you mind explaining it to him?"
"Rin is understandably upset that you acted on your own accord, Shirou;" the Heroic Spirit explained. "There was no urgency this time. You could have discussed the exception to Rider's binding with us instead of going behind our back."
"Sorry. I had a feeling that you would have tried to stop me if I said anything."
"Damn right we would have," Rin agreed, stomping her foot. "What's the point of making plans if you improvise without cause? And there's the other problem. You keep putting yourself in more danger than strictly necessary."
"You have seen for yourself that I can take it," he replied.
"That's not the point. You can't keep trying to fix every problem by breaking yourself a little bit more each and every time. One day your luck will fall short and you won't be getting up again. You... you don't see anything wrong with that?"
"I'd be in the wrong line of business if I worried about that outcome," he admitted with an easy smile. "Besides, to be a Magus is to walk with death, Tohsaka. How is risking your life or the advancement of Magecraft any different from what I do?"
She narrowed her eyes at him.
"There's a stark difference between walking with and walking to your own death, Emiya. I accept that I might die from the pursuit of Thaumaturgy, but I take every precaution available to avoid it. You scarcely seem to give it more than a passing thought. Let's be honest here. You would have given Rider the same exact order, even without your healing ability or Caster's Magecraft to back you up."
"Perhaps," he admitted. "But even so, I don't think it would have been wrong. She doesn't deserve the pain she'd have go through otherwise."
"But you do?" she challenged. He didn't answer. "You do, don't you? You think you deserve to suffer. Because of the fire ten years ago."
He shook his head. "You are wrong. It's not... Look, if we are talking about pain, I'd rather suffer because I helped than because I didn't. Trust me, I have tried both."
"You couldn't have helped even if you tried! You were just a kid, Emiya," Tohsaka insisted.
"I know that. I'm not bothered by own inability, Tohsaka. I know perfectly well that some things are beyond me, but so what? Besides, how can I truly know if I can help until I try?"
"So you'll help no matter the cost to your own person?"
"There is nothing wrong with wanting to help people, Tohsaka. No matter what anyone thinks," he said as a way of reply.
[br]
Rin and Saber exchanged a look of understanding. It's not that Emiya Shirou was excessively idealistic or reckless. He was simply broken, and had been for so long that he could no longer be fixed. If one tried, they would first have to deny the ideals that he built on top of that gaping wound, which weren't wrong in and of themselves.
And of course, he would sooner die trying to defend them than reject them. Words would be completely wasted on him.
Rin shoulders slumped in defeat.
"I understand there's no reasoning with you, so I'll give you an ultimatum instead. If you go off script on me one more time outside of an emergency, I'm going to call off this alliance. If I can't trust you to do as we agreed upon, I'm better off without you. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yeah, that's fair. You are right. It was my bad. I should have been straight with you from the beginning."
"As long as you get it. There won't be second chances in the future." "I understand," he nodded.
"Good. Saber and I are going back to my place. I need to check a few things and see if I can find a reason behind the Grail's behavior. It shouldn't have enough energy to do the things we have seen. Since you can tell in advance if one of those black holes is about to open, you'll be our detection system. Call us if you feel anything out of place, it doesn't matter what."
"Sure. You can count on it."
"I'll also do some research of my own," Caster added. "The Grail shouldn't be able to use my countermeasures the way it's been doing. Either I overlooked something critical, or something has changed."
"Alright. Keep me posted on any new development. No lone wolf bullshit, you hear that Emiya?"
"Loud and clear, ma'am!"
Rin didn't like his chipper attitude, but she had already made her point. If he failed to understand the severity of a transgression it would be all the more reason to break the alliance. An unreliable ally is many time worse a competent enemy.
"Come on, Saber. Let's go home."
"Of course, Rin."
The two of them left without another word. [br]
After Tohsaka and Saber left, Caster banished Shirou to his own room while she went to fix alter Rider's dress in such a way that she wouldn't be flashing people anything soon. With just the three of them eating, fixing dinner would take a whole lot less, so he had a little time to sit back and think things over.
He had to admit that he had made a mistake. He should have told them that he planned to set himself as an outlet for Rider's urges, but he knew they wouldn't have agreed. In the future, he would no longer keep his decision from his friends.
They deserved better than that, all of them.
And he understood Tohsaka's point as well. He too would disagree if she did something that would harm herself, even to help another. He just couldn't muster the same feeling for himself. He didn't seek out pain, and yet he was not troubled by it if it served to relieve someone else of their own.
This was probably what Kiritsugu meant when he said that he was twisted, but even so, Shirou didn't feel that there was anything wrong with the way he did things. No, he understood that from an ordinary standpoint there was something strange with his head, but then again so what?
Normal people didn't try to he heroes either, so perhaps it was a requirement for the job. He was brought out of his musing by Medea's voice.
"Shirou? You can come out now."
"Coming," he said, getting to his feet and walking to door
He opened it to find her standing right outside with a smile on her face.
"Here, what do you think?" she asked, point at her side.
Shirou poked his head out and there was Rider wearing brand new clothes.
Shirou blinked several times in rapid succession. His jaw dropped as soon as he was done seeing what he was looking at.
Her battle dress was gone. Caster had turned it into something completely different. The upper part was a skin-tight turtleneck that hid most of her scales. It opened in the middle of the chest to give a very good view of the centre of her cleavage, pressed together by the material. It narrowed at the sides exposing her waist until it disappeared beneath studded leather shorts. Her outfit was completed by a leather jacket and ankle high leather boots.
She looked like a hardcore biker.
There was much less skin exposed that before, yet somehow she looked more enticing than ever. Shirou immediately turned his attention on her face, lest he ended up focusing on unsafe parts.
Rider was very different herself. Previously she had the looks of a woman in her early twenties, now she appeared more mature. She wasn't only taller, or more endowed.
The lines of her face were much sharper than they used to be. She didn't look older, per se. Her skin appeared soft and unblemished to the point that even a teenager would envy her.
If one had to describe it with one adjective, then it would be cruel. Rather than a snake, it reminded Shirou of a bird of prey. Her eyes especially were far more piercing, almost hawk-like. All she lacked were the wings on her back and talons in place of her feet.
Of course, the effect was offset by the bashful look across her face and the fact that Medea was holding her by the arm to prevent her from running.
"Please don't look at me. I'm hideous," she begged.
"Indeed," Caster agreed mockingly. "That's why Shirou's jaw dropped. Darling, you are going to swallow a fly at this rate."
"Uh. I- I don't know what you are talking about," he stuttered. "A-Anyway, at least now she's decent. Good call hiding the scales."
"Oh those, I can probably conceal them for good with some old fashioned illusion or ven just some makeup. Nothing permanent but it should be enough for her to go around without drawing attention."
Personally, he didn't think that was ever going to happen. There wasn't such a thing as Rider not drawing attention to herself before, and there would be even less of that now. But of course he couldn't say that to either one their faces.
"Yeah, good job," he opted to say instead. "How do you feel about them, Rider?"
"They... they feel comfortable to move into," she admitted. "I won't have any problem fighting in this."
"That's good. Not what I meant, but that's good. Would you excuse us a minute? Medea, a word please."
He took her into the room and closed the door behind them.
"What is it, Shirou?"
"Couldn't you... I dunno, couldn't you have made her something a little less eye catching?" Medea sighed and put both hands on his should.
"Darling... you are a hormonal teenager and she is a degraded divine being born from people's wish of a perfect beauty. I could have put a burlap sack over her head and you'd still be troubled. There is no way I'd curb my own sense of fashion for nothing. You just need to get over it."
She was probably right on the money, but it was easier said than done. Rider was already difficultnottostareatbeforetheupgrade, damnit.
"Did the two of you have a talk?" he decided to ask.
"There isn't much to say. I can't pretend we are friends. At best, I am largely indifferent to her situation. I could have warned that I'd kill her if she goes too far with you, but she would probably want me to put her down if that happened. Death threats aren't very effective if people are looking forward to it. She and I have nothing to say to each other. It's good enough that we can coexist peacefully. Considering the situation - and I can't believe I'm about to say this - you have probably achieved the best result.
"I'm glad at least someone approves."
"I don't approve at all. Like Rin said, it's plain stupid trying to fix something by breaking yourself. Still, as a Magus I know better than her the power of sacrifice. You paid the highest price and got the corresponding goods. Loathe as I am to admit it, the results speak for themselves. You won Rider over for good."
"What do you mean?"
She gave him a pointed look.
"You really fail at grasping your own worth, do you?" she sighed. "Never mind, but understand this. Rider is here to stay even after the War, and you are the only person who can satisfy her needs. She'll depend on you until either one dies."
"I know. The moment I gave that order, taking care of Rider has become my responsibility. It can't be delegated, not even temporarily."
"Exactly. I'm glad you understand at least that much. Now, if that is all we should return. It's probably best not to leave Rider alone for the time being."
"Right," he agreed. Although she had calmed down a little, Rider was still going through a difficult phase. At this time being supportive was a must.
Rider was of course still waiting where they had left her, not having moved a single inch.
"Is everything alright?" she asked calmly. Apparently, she had gotten back a bit of her usual composure.
"Of course," said Caster. "Shirou was just telling me that tomorrows is planning to take you shopping for clothes. You are in dire need of a new wardrobe."
Shirou didn't recall promising anything of the sort, but he knew better than going against the flow for nothing.
"That won't be necessary. This outfit is more than enough."
"Don't be thick headed. Now that you have a true body, you can no longer go back to spirit form. You'll have to live and blend in with humanity as much as possible."
"But..."
"She's right," Shirou intervened. "We need to think about this long term, Rider. You are part of this household. That means there are standards that must be met."
"I do not wish to impose on you any further."
"It's no imposition. Besides, the Church has been paying me a good deal of money for all the missions I did for them, even if I didn't want to. I think this is going to be a great way to spend it."
"An idea I can agree with, for once," said Medea. "Make sure to bring me something nice as well."
"Uh? You won't come?"
She shook her head. "Unfortunately, I need to get back to analyzing the Grail and make come up with new countermeasures. There's no time to waste."
"Will you be working through the night then?"
"If nothing else comes up, " she said hopefully. "Oh, don't worry about me. Servants don't need to sleep. Or were you perhaps hoping we-"
"Nope," he said a bit too quickly.
Caster giggled.
"Alright then. Come, help me fix dinner. Rider, you set the table."
Rider followed after them in dutiful silence.
[br]
Dinner was consumed quietly, accompanied by small talk of no consequence whatsoever.
Rider wasn't sure how they could sit there with her, knowing what she did and what she'd have to do again in order to survive. It hadn't been even a full day since she broke his body and left him bleeding and dying on the ground of his own courtyard.
Thinking of that moment, she felt her stomach clamp up and another appetite flare up instead.
It hadn't even been a full day since she fed, and it was already coming back. Even the fledgling vampire could hold out as long as a week without blood. How could she be any less than her?
"Rider is something wrong?" Shirou asked, seeing that she had put down her chopstick. "Don't you like the food?"
"The food is delicious as usual, Master. I simply not that hungry," she lied. "Are they hungry though?" Caster asked. "They are starting to get restless."
Looking her shoulders, she could see that her hair were fluttering slightly even though there was no wind.
"This is nothing," she said. "I can deal with this much."
"I don't doubt you can, but perhaps you shouldn't," Shirou objected, putting down his own chopsticks.
"Indeed," said Caster. "Rather than waiting until you can no longer stand it, wouldn't it be better for everyone involved to deal with it as soon as it comes up. This way the toll on Shirou's body would also be lighter."
"I like that plan too," he quickly agreed.
Rider fidgeted, uncomfortable with the idea of giving in to her urges as soon as they flared up. She had spent years trying to restrain and control them. Only to completely lose herself to them in the end. Perhaps it would be wise to change habits after all. For the same of her Master's health, at the very least.
"If you think that's best, Master," she conceded.
"You don't agree?"
"It's not that. I'm not comfortable indulging in this side of me."
"Hm. Yes, I suppose that would be strange for you. Still, the situation being what it is we should deal with this while we have the chance. Let's finish dinner and they we'll take care of it, alright?"
Rider nodded, because what else was she supposed to do? This was their relationship now. He was the willing sacrifice to her unholy appetite. The worst part of it all was that she was looking forward to the moment when she could sink her teeth into his flesh again.
How long would it take for him to regret his decision? [br]
Back at the Tohsaka household, Rin was going through one trunk after another, browsing through scrolls and tomes from her family. A bunch of stuff had been lost since the inception of the Grail War.
Being one of the three founding families, and thus a well known target, the mansion had been assaulted plenty of times during each iteration of the ritual. The Workshop had been rebuilt at least two times. Unfortunately, Magi weren't fond of making backup of their manuscripts. The more copies there were out there, the higher the likelihood of it being stolen. They'd rather lose some knowledge than having it fall in someone else's hands.
That's exactly what they got and what Rin had to deal with.
"Rin, I suggest you take a break," Saber called. "You should eat something, at least. I prepared you a light meal."
Rin lifted her head from inside the trunk and looked at her Servant. She had a tray of sandwiches in her hands. Her stomach grumbled.
"You are probably right. Thanks, Saber."
She got up and patted the dust off her clothes. Saber put down the tray on the table, making space between the towers of books that Rin had already gone through.
"Did you find anything?" the Servant asked. Rin shook her head, since her mouth was busy chewing.
"At this rate, I'm not sure there's anything left to find. The Grail was a cooperative effort after all, and for the most part my family only provided the land. Our involvement in the preparation of the ritual was minimal."
"That doesn't sound like a good idea."
"Well, maybe not now but at the time it was very convenient. We didn't have to expose any of our own Magecraft to the other families, and the Wizard Marshall supervised the process to make sure no one would rig the game in their favor."
"That didn't seem to have worked out well either."
"Hmm. It's to be expected that they all had their own exploits here and there, but the same goes for the Tohsaka. Remember, this is our territory. This land favors us, one way or another. Unlike the Makiri, whose talent for Magecraft ran dry. As for the Einzbern, well, if Emiya is to be trusted they died out completely a long time ago and it's their homunculi running the show now. If we were to make a comparison between the three of us, it's my family Tohsaka that came out on top."
"I suppose that's one way to put it. And yet, it's up to us to clear up the mess, and your family lack of involvement works against us. Perhaps..."
"What is it?"
"Maybe we should ask the Einzbern Master?"
"I considered that option, but frankly I would have rather kept that as last resort." "You don't think we can trust her?" Saber asked.
"She hasn't given us any reason to. I'm already surprised she agreed to the cease fire and didn't murder Emiya when he showed up at her place like the idiot he is. We would have to be truly desperate to ask her."
"Are we not?"
Rin grumbled. "We contained the problem well enough, so far. Nearly lost Rider but that too was deal with for the time being."
"Indeed. Then what about the Matou family? They should no longer have any stake in the War, correct?"
"Yes, but the only person capable of giving us answers would be Zouken and he made himself scarce to the point that even Caster can't locate him. The only other person that could tell us anything would be..."
She trailed off, eyes widening.
"Rin? Did you figure out something."
"The only other person who could have answers would be the Wizard Marshal himself."
"I don't suppose we can reach out to him then?"
"No way. I wouldn't know where to start looking for him. I can't even be sure he's currently in this dimension or off gallivanting in a parallel universe."
"Then how is he relevant here and now?"
"Because I just recalled he left something here a long time ago. A trunk. It might hold just what we need."
"Where is it?"
"It's up in the attic."
"In the attic? Why do you keep it there rather than the Workshop? Aren't you worried it might get stolen?"
"I asked father the same question and he said that it can defend itself well enough, and that he'd rather not have it around in here."
"Aren't you worried it's going to be dangerous?"
"Normally I would, but since I have a Servant with the highest Magic Resistance I think we are going to be just fine."
"What are we waiting for then? Let's go get it."
Food completely forgotten, they rushed out of the Workshop in search for the mysterious trunk. Perhaps the answers to all their questions could be found inside it.
[br]
After dinner, Rider returned to her room, while Shirou took care of the dishes and Caster went down their Workshop to study the Grail. Unable to relax, Rider paced the room back and forth. Her hair were flailing wildly and were already starting to gather in thick ropes.
This wasn't right. This kind of behavior was unprecedented for her, but then again so was the entire situation. None of her victims had ever offered themselves to her. She was afraid this would make everything worse instead of better.
She didn't realize that it was her own restlessness that spurred her hair to act this way, and this only made even more restless, feeding into an endless loop.
Or it would have been, had someone not knocked on her door. "Rider?" her master called called out. "Can I come in?"
"Ah! W-Wait a moment," she said, grabbing ahold of her hair and holding them in front of her. Even she didn't know if she was trying to hide herself or to keep her willful mane in check. Maybe both. "You can come in now."
The door slid open and he stood there looking at her with very calm eyes.
"Hey. How are you feeling? Has it gotten any worse?"
"So...Somewhat."
"Nothing to do but dealing with it, right?" he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "So, how do you want to do it?"
"I... I don't know," she admitted. "This has never been a consensual thing!" she hurried to add, only to flinch at the implications. He didn't look repulsed. He already knew all of this.
"Relax, Rider. Just do what comes natural."
"That would kill you."
"I Reinforced my body and I survived your frenzied state without it. I'll be fine."
"Why are you so calm about this?" she hissed, frustrated at his laid back attitude.
"It's because I'm not biased. Unlike the other person in the room, I'm not afraid of you." "Then you are more of a fool than I thought you were," she accused.
"Guilty as charged. Now that that's cleared up, will you let this fool help you?"
"Hmmp!" she pouted. "Remember, you asked for this."
She let go of her hair and they immediately lashed out like a million tiny tendrils. They seized his arms and wrapped around his torso and neck. He wasn't quite immobilized, but he couldn't move with ease. More importantly they were they were so thin that the pressure they exerted would have broken the skin if he had not Reinforced himself beforehand.
Rider hesitated, checking her own control over the situation. For the time being, it seemed that everything was within acceptable parameters. She let out a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, with her worries somewhat eased, the excitement over the imminent satisfaction of her impulses welled up.
She felt her heart speed up and her breath became slightly labored.
She took a step forward and then another. She kept a close look on his reactions and he still didn't look afraid. Eventually, she stood right in front of him, with just an inch between them.
She was salivating now and she unconsciously licked her lips.
"I'm going to do it now," she warned. Her breath was hot and damp.
"B...By all means," he agreed. His face was also a suspicious shade of red. If there was an emotion to be found in his eyes, weirdly enough, it wasn't fear.
All of a sudden, she snuck her arms around him and brought him to her chest. She pulled his head aside exposing his neck. Her lips parted and she lowered her mouth to his skin. It took all the self control she had to simply not tear into him like a hungry beast.
Instead she bit into his flesh with a surprising gentleness.
Blood rushed into her mouth. Sticky and gloriously hot. It slid down her throat, burning a trail all the way to her stomach. Rich of Mana as it was, it was especially satisfying. Even though she no longer needed it for sustenance, it enriched her in a way ordinary blood never could.
Slowly, she felt the hunger subside. The pressure on her mind receded and she let out a satisfied sigh through her nose. Her hair relaxed as well, loosening their hold but still remaining draped all over him.
Now that she was a bit more clear headed, she felt that his heartbeat was going extremely fast. He wasn't squirming or trying to break free, but he was rather stiff despite no longer being restrained.
It was then that she fully took stock of their position. As she kept feeding off him, she had pulled him even closer in her embrace until their bodies were completely flush against one another. At some point she had even hooked a leg behind him.
All of a sudden she was aware of his heartbeat not through her mouth, but rather through her own chest. Slowly, almost afraid that he'd notice her state of mind, she released him and took a step back. Her hair followed suit, thankfully.
He sighed in relief.
"Alright. That wasn't so bad," he said, but he wasn't quite looking at her in the eyes. That was alright, because neither was she. Had they taken a good look at each other, they'd have noticed they both had similarly flushed faces. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Y...Yes. I'm completely satisfied. Thank you very much," she said with a grateful bow. "Did it hurt? Oh, what am I saying, of course it did."
"No. I mean, yes. It did hurt a little bit but really nothing out of the ordinary. See, the it's healing."
Sure enough the wound had already stopped bleeding. There was still some leftover blood running down his neck and into his shirt, staining it red. However, that was the extent of it.
"See? We can handle this," he said.
Rider felt a huge weight being lifted from her shoulders. She was terribly afraid it would have turned out like the previous night.
"I'm glad," she admitted. "Sorry I'm being such a handful."
"I'll forgive you if you stop apologizing about it. Truth is, I'm rather fond of the Rider that could kick my ass with a straight face."
There was a tug at the corner of her mouth.
"Are you certain you are not a masochist?" she asked.
"Pretty sure, but a bit of pain is a good trade off to have you back, Rider. Don't go running off somewhere thinking you'd be doing us a favor."
There he goes again, saying things she didn't know how to respond to. Her tongue was tied as tightly as the knot in her throat but she had to say something. Anything.
"Well, I think I should go see if Caster needs anything. Try and get some sleep if you can. I know you don't exactly need it, but maybe it will help.
She nodded stiffly, unable to voice anything. With one last smile he closed the door on his way out, leaving Rider alone with her jumbled thoughts.
Once again, the Servant didn't know what to do with her emotions. Who could have known that resolving one dilemma would lead her to facing yet another.
Perhaps her existence was even more accursed than she thought. [XXX]