Hey guys! Ok…so I know that my other stories are taking me awhile, but I promise that they are all in the works. I hope that you enjoy this story, it could remain a one-shot or turn into a two-shot, that is up to you guys. Please R&R

*I own nothing*

TMNT

One stroke, another ounce of pain. Another splash of color, whiteness disappears. Tear streaks fall down unto the fresh painted surface as hands delicately add strip of color. Pain, disappointment, suffering all combined unto one small canvas that opened up possibilities for life or death.

Another dap of paint

Another tear

Another streak of color

Another sob

The pain was endless, and this was his way of shoving it all away from himself. His entire essence all captured into one painting, a painting that he only knew about. It was going to stay that way.

When his genuine happiness was taken from him, he couldn't do anything but cry. But they didn't take his heart. So maybe, he could do something worthwhile. Where he couldn't screw up, and nobody would be able to scorn him except himself. Alone, deserted, taken advantage of, were the only things propelling his paintings these days.

None of them were happy, it was far from it. In his paintings, the only things that were remotely happy was himself moving on somewhere where his brothers weren't.

He was a screwup

Menace

A wannabe

Somebody that wasn't needed

So why not paint a fantasy that could change everything. A fantasy without him. A reality where he wouldn't be able to mess-up anything because he doesn't exist in it at all. That sounded like paradise, even to him. His brothers would sure like that, and if his brothers were happy; then he was happy.

But still, he felt like something was missing, or more like, he was missing pieces of himself. That feeling didn't set well with him, so he drew and painted his pain away. Of course, it didn't take all the pain away but for some weird reason, it took most of it away. Plus, it was a healthy approach.

Well…. maybe not the healthiest approach when it came to how depressing the drawings itself were, but he had to work with what was available. And the fun part, his brothers didn't know. Hopefully it stayed that way.

Now as Mikey sat down and painted, a previous memory came to his mind.

"I'm not depressed!" Mikey shouted as he backed away from his hot-tempered brother.

"Oh really?" Raph crossed his arms, "Then why are you always in your room! That's what depressed people do!"

Mikey fumbled, "Not true! Sometimes I just need to be alone."

"Why?"

Taking a deep breath, Mikey was determined to keep his secret hobby hidden. "Nothing Raph."

Realizing that Raph wasn't going to get anywhere, Mikey started to walk over to his room with haste. He needed to paint his hidden pain away.

"Mikey! Get back over here!"

Mikey ignored the pleading calls of his older brother. He certainly couldn't afford to explode at Raph now, he needed to get away.

Mikey grimaced at the sad memory, Raph had bugged him for months after that, but he had been determined and stayed strong to the end. Pretty soon even Raph knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere with his youngest brother. It wasn't long before Leo and Donnie followed suit but they both had been unsuccessful.

Sure, Mikey felt bad for hiding such a hobby, but when his brothers would see the drawings, they would criticize him. And he certainly couldn't handle that right now. So, every single time that somebody tore down Mikeys inner walls, he would go add another grim color to his already sad painting. The only happy colors that consisted of the painting was a small dap of yellow paint.

The paint represented his light that was slowly being dimmed. Every hurtful word consisted of adding black paint to the bright yellow paint until there was nothing left. That was his soul, his soul was disintegrating, breaking down into smaller pieces. Each piece filled with the longing of wanting a family who treats him right. But then that piece gets broken down into micro bits of useless matter, until it didn't even exist anymore.

If only life could be like that, if only he could just cease to not exist. As he looked over at his drawing, there were so many colors, all of which represented one experience each.

Red for anger

"Leo, give me my weapons!" Mikey begged. But Leo only stood where he was as he held his younger brothers weapons high in the air.

"No," Leo said sternly, "You need to learn to fight without your weapons."

Mikey huffed, "No I don't!" He jumped but was far from even having his fingertip grasp his familiar weapons.

"I'm only doing this because I care about you," Leo said numbly. His posture calm, his mind focused.

"No," Mikey growled, "You just want me to fail."

Leo sighed but didn't respond. Mikey looked glared at his older brother, "You know what, I give up. Have it your way!" he yelled as he exited the dojo.

Green for jealously

"Michealangelo, focus more," Master Splinter commented as he watched his youngest son attempt a side kick but fail. Mikey gave a small nod and tried again.

Moving unto his next son, he watched as Donnie whipped his bo staff through the air, "Good job Donatello, your bo staff skills are moving along."

He then proceeded to watch Raph twirl his sai's and launch them with the uttermost prescion, "Good job Raphael, your accuracy is improving."

After watching his younger sons, he looked over to his eldest who was preforming kata's with his katanas, "Good job Leonardo, your form is perfect."

As Mikey watched his father compliment all his brothers except him; it felt like a thousand knives were lodged in his heart. Did he really not matter to his father?

Why couldn't he have received encouragement from his father? The feeling of jealousy spread throughout his entire body; he wanted what his brothers had.

He didn't want to be a screw up or a mess up, he wanted the same love that his father felt towards his older brothers. Was that to much to ask?

Orange for insecurities

"You eat like a pig Mikey," Raph chuckled one night at dinner.

"Raph," Leo scolded, "Don't say that."

Raph stopped but the damage had already been done. Mikey immediately stopped eating as he set his food aside.

"Mikey…. eat," Donnie said as he pushed Mikeys food back to him, "Your small for your age, you need to eat."

Mikey pushed the food back, "No, according to Raph; I'm a fat pig." He sighed as he went upstairs towards his room.

"Great Raph, now Mikey won't eat!" Leo said with frustration. He got up and put Mikey's food in the fridge, "now I have go coax my younger brother to eat," he left the kitchen, "By the way; Mikey is not a pig!"

Black for rejection

"Who wants to play games with me?" Mikey asked his brothers. Training had just ended, and Mikey felt exhausted.

"Mikey," Leo sighed, "I wish that maybe you would put more effort into training."

Mikey twiddled his fingers, "But I do put lots of effort into training. I really try."

"Look at yourself in the mirror, that's not true," Raph added on.

"Donnie?" Mikey looked at his older brother, "Do you believe that?"

Donnie only gave a small nod as he walked away. Leo and Raph both gave one disappointed sigh as they to left the small turtle alone. As soon as they were gone, Mikey let small sobs escape his mouth.

His brothers had just rejected him; in more ways than one. Even Donnie agreed with them! Sure, he was different…..could that be the reason he was constantly rejected by his own family? Mikey wouldn't be surprised if the only reason the guys kept him around was because he was their brother.

But not a true brother

Blue for depression

Mikey walked into the lair with a careful eye as he clutched his arm. The young turtle had decided to go for a small run; but of course, a few enemies had tried to destroy that. He had been pretty lucky to, only got away with a small stab wound and a few scratches.

But he couldn't tell his brothers, he didn't really feel like going through that whole ordeal at the moment. So, he grabbed a washcloth and went to his bedroom.

In the morning, Mikey had gotten up from bed pretty early. But he had forgotten to wrap his arm that was still bleeding. When he had gotten on the bottom stair, he ran into Donnie.

"Mikey.." Donnie looked at his brother's arm, "What happened?!"

Mikey looked down guiltily as he mentally punished himself for not remembering such a vital step, "Um nothing; just a small souvenir from the fight last night."

"What fight?"

"Nothing," Mikey looked for an exit out of there, "It's not serious, don't worry about it."

He had half expected Donnie to either yell at him or usher him into his lab. But that's not what happened. Donnie only looked at Mikeys eyes with sadness.

"Donnie?"

Donnie sighed, "I wish you would trust me enough to take care of your injuries."

Standing stunned, Mikey fumbled for a good response, "I do Don, I was just scared you would tell Raph and Leo."

"No," Donnie shook his head lightly, "I'm not like that."

Not knowing what to say, the young turtle stared at the ground, he shuffled his feet nervously.

"I'll be in my lab, please come to me about that injury soon," Donnie said softly before he walked over to his lab with slumped shoulders.

Once the coast was clear, Mikey looked back up. He hadn't meant to hurt his brothers' feelings. But yet he had. Being the screwup he was, he had managed to do the impossible.

A few tears fell down Mikeys cheeks as he thought back to how hurt Donnie looked. Why?

Mikey quickly turned around and ran upstairs, he wanted to forget the entire morning in just a few seconds.

And finally, the small yellow dap of paint for genuine happiness

"I'll go first!" Mikey yelled out as he plopped himself on the couch. He grabbed the game console and turned on the machine.

"I'll go second," Raph grunted, "Your not winning me this time Mikey!" He sat down next to Mikey as Leo and Donnie joined in.

Mikey chuckled as he picked his player, "In my dreams Raphie!"

Raph reached over and smacked the youngest on the back of the head, "Sure Mikey, whatever you say."

Donnie and Leo only watched the entire scene play out as they silently laughed to themselves.

That evening had become one of Mikeys core memories. All of his brothers playing video games and supporting each other, they even watched a movie after as they all huddled together on the couch. Mikey remembered going to bed feeling the happiest he had ever felt in awhile.

Now that Mikey looked at his painting, he felt a ping of sadness. He had really felt sad this past few weeks, and it showed. Maybe he should tell somebody about his hidden talent and feelings.

Getting up, Mikey put the painting away and went to talk to his older brothers.

TMNT

Ok…so the ending might need some more work, but that's for a future project. How was it? Let me know if I should write another chapter. Please R&R!