"Don't weep, insects –
Lovers, stars themselves,Must part."
.
"Will it be another six months before I see you again?" Shibi asked Etsuko.
Would he hate her for it?
Because soon it would be moonrise, and by now, they should have said something to each other.
And if saying something meant that it didn't have to be goodbye just yet, the Aburame would say anything to steal a few extra moments with her.
"Will I ever understand the reason why you never stay, Etsuko?" Shibi asked quietly.
Etsuko...
Who was this girl that he'd confessed only a moment ago that he loved?
How envious she was of her.
Of the longing in Shibi's voice when he said the girl Etsuko's name.
Because the Etsuko he loved so deeply would never be her.
He could never know who she really was, and since the day they met, she knew she was accepting a tragic fate.
Did he hate her for it?
Knowing everything before that she was risking, maybe it was selfish to not stop herself from falling in love with Shibi.
Back then, she only thought of herself, and she was fully prepared to accept the consequences of her actions.
She knew that one day, she would ask Shibi out for a walk through the Hidden Leaf forest, and it would be the hardest thing she'd ever do.
What she never expected though, was that this 'hardest thing' was only the beginning of hardest things to come, and the cost would be unfathomable to her.
How much more would she have to pay for following her own heart?
She was already forcing herself to let go of Shibi.
Etsuko stopped walking.
Because if she didn't, that nauseating dizziness making her head spin would only get worse, and Shibi would immediately suspect something was wrong with her.
She couldn't let him worry.
It was her turn to shoulder the burden of her decisions, not Shibi.
She had to show him the same strength he'd proven to her on the nights she'd left him alone to endure and wonder because of her.
How could he still not hate her for it?
How was he so calm and collected, when she was losing it inside?
But as could be expected of an Aburame, Shibi endured everything in silence.
It only broke her more.
Why wouldn't he just hate her for it!
It would be so much easier if he did.
"Shibi," she tried to sound strong through the swelling in the back of her throat. "I don't think we should see each other like this anymore."
Shibi said nothing right away.
His face tantalizingly unreadable behind his shades.
His fist tightening in the restrained silence of unspoken feelings against the tree he'd been leaning on.
An unendurable silence.
"Since the day we met in Rōran, I knew you would come to this decision someday," he said to her. "I want you to know that you shouldn't worry, because I've already prepared for this. The reason is because I will still love you, no matter what you decide. That hasn't changed."
Etsuko dropped her eyes from his.
Whatever punishment she expected for herself, this was so much worse.
"However," Shibi continued. "It seems there is more to this than what you're telling me. Why? Because tonight, unlike the other nights we spent together, you can't seem to look at me anymore. If there is something more you wish to say, you should say it now, before I honor your decision."
And that fatal hit was more deadly than if he'd ever unleashed his Kikaichū against her.
It went straight through her chest, and she could barely keep breathing.
Hanging on only by a thread of her resolve when she realized she couldn't bring herself to do this.
She couldn't lose him.
Surely, there had to be another way.
They could run away together.
They could make their rival clans stop fighting.
They could deliberately choose to love and be happy together, no matter how hard it got.
No matter how far their clans went to hunt them down.
No matter how much he'd likely hate her by the end of it, that he could no longer stand to endure these tormenting silences.
She'd endure it, if it meant she didn't have to endure this without him now.
"Yes, there is something I want to tell you," Etsuko whispered to Shibi. "And this might be the last chance I have to say it."
Shibi waited patiently.
He was always waiting so patiently for her.
And once and for all, she would take away that pain.
"Shibi...I'm-"
"There you are, Etsuko," a man with long white bushy hair that Shibi didn't recognize approached them from behind. "I've been looking all over for you. Why didn't you tell me you were going on a walk, my wife? I would have gone with you."
"Wife?" Shibi repeated, astonished.
The restraint of his habitually contained stoicism tested to his limit.
"Thanks for making sure my wife didn't walk around here on her own," the white-haired man told Shibi cheerfully. "We're only visitors to the Leaf, and we don't know our way around here yet. I was worried she had gotten lost while she was out."
"You're..." Shibi turned to Etsuko. "Married?"
"Um, well..." Etsuko blushed, fumbling for words. "Y-yes. As of yesterday. Hansuke and I are on our honeymoon, actually."
Shibi slowly dragged his eyes back to the white-haired man again.
"Hansuke?"
And if the Aburame was furious with a jealous passion, it was noted only by the downward drop of Shibi's dark brow.
"I assume this is the thing you wanted to tell me then," Shibi said to Etsuko.
"Yes," she whispered regretfully. "I have always loved...someone else...I'm so sorry, Shibi."
Shibi's fist squeezed tighter against the tree trunk.
Hansuke shrinking under the Aburame's gaze, his cheerful smile now wobbly with unease.
'So...this guy is Shibi Aburame? THE Shibi Aburame they talk about?' Hansuke thought. "Barking butterflies! Is he going to kick my ass? I wouldn't fight this creepy Aburame guy if my life depended on it!'
"Well," Shibi said finally, unemotional as ever. "Congratulations. I wish you both many years of happiness."
"Thank you," Etsuko said gratefully.
And though she managed to say it so calmly, in a way that Shibi could never again question her, it was the final blow to her withering heart.
"Come on, Hansuke," she hooked her arm around his. "I've walked this path far enough already. I'm ready to go home now."
She let him take the first step.
Because she knew he could do what she still couldn't.
Leading her away from Shibi, as the Aburame turned his back to face the river singing gently along the forest.
His fist pressing so hard into the tree bark now, that a trickle of blood traced the tension in his lightly tanned knuckles.
His shoulders shaking in silent agony, never again to be spoken of.
And thus, leaving Shibi Aburame in unimaginable defeat, Etsuko finally forced herself to turn her back on him too.
"Phew, that was close. Do you think he knew we were lying to him? What were you doing back there anyway?" Hansuke questioned her worriedly, once they were out of earshot of Shibi. "You know who that guy is, right? He's from the Aburame Clan. Our mortal enemy. He could have killed you easily if he found out who you are! It was reckless to come out here alone!"
"I know," Etsuko answered numbly.
"You know?" Hansuke asked, surprised. "What do you mean 'you know'?"
"I know because..." She was unable to hold back her tears, now that she was no longer facing Shibi. "Because I love him, Hansuke. I love him so much, I don't care if he's from the Aburame Clan. I want to be at his side. And I want all this fighting to stop. He means everything to me, and he gives me strength to fight for a better world. He is my match, in every single way, and now I have destroyed him. I have ruined any chance of us ever being together again."
"Etsuko," Hansuke sighed regretfully. "How could you do this to yourself?"
"Please, Hansuke," she wailed tearfully. "Tell me there's a way to make this right. There has to be a way to stop the feud between the Aburame and the Kamizuru clans. I have to change their minds."
"Listen to me, Etsuko," Hansuke told her, gently wiping away her tears with the back of his hand. "It hurts now, but it will heal with time. You will love again, because that is your nature. You are strong and your heart is compassionate. You will find a way to take this lingering love for him and use it for good. But you must not allow yourself to be defeated by it now."
"Hansuke...you don't understand," she whispered, turning her tearstained face and glimmering honey eyes back into his. "I'm pregnant."
Hansuke's face fell...breathless in pale and dumbstruck silence.
"Is he..."
Hansuke stopped himself before finishing that thought, not daring to even think that it might be a possibility.
"Please don't tell anyone," Etsuko told him. "You know whaat would happen if anyone found out...Please just keep this between us for now."
"Alright," Hansuke said absently, still a ghost of himself as he walked on down the path with her in perpetual shock. "We should get back to the Hidden Stone. It's not safe for you here...Now more than ever."
"Aren't you going to say it?" Etsuko asked him.
"Huh? Say what?"
"How stupid I was," she said. "How angry you are at me for betraying our clan and falling in love with an Aburame?"
Hansuke walked quietly for a while, carefully choosing his answer.
"I think...you have punished yourself enough tonight, Etsuko," he finally found his words. "Whatever may come, you are still my teammate and my closest friend. And I will kill anyone who tries to hurt you or that child of yours. No matter if they are Aburame or Kamizuru...You have my word that I will protect you and the baby until the end."
Etsuko's smile was full of melancholy but grateful, as she squeezed Hansuke's arm more tightly while they walked.
"Thank you, Hansuke. That means so much to me...Not just your comforting words...But for stopping me in time," she told him. "Because I loved him so much, I almost made a huge mistake tonight...I can't know yet how having this beautiful child will change things...But I see now that allowing Shibi to move on with his life was the best decision for both of us."