Chapter 1: Dipper and the Toy Soldier
Welcome to The Hiccup Cup What If series, or THCWI for short. In this series of stories, we'll revisit tales from the main series but mix in different characters and scenarios. Chapter 3: Hiccups In Gravity was my first entry in the series. Singulto was very basic in the beginning. He wasn't even called Singulto yet nor did he speak. While it's still one of my favorites, the chapter was incredibly short, containing 601 words, so let's make this a longer tale. For today's adventure, the question is this: What if Dipper met Bo the Hiccup Stick instead of Singulto?
Stanford Pines was wandering the woods, scanning for anything unusual when he picked up a strange energy reading. He rushed over to find a metal popsicle stick lying in a hollow stump.
"Hmmm…" Ford changed the settings on his scanner and ran it over the stick. "Dimensional residue. Is this one of Bill's? No, the energy signature is different from his. Better take this to the lab." He picked it up and headed back to the Mystery Shack.
When he got there, he input a code on the snack machine's keypad. It moved over to reveal the entrance to the basement and he went down.
Mabel Pines hiccuped as she went downstairs and to the living room. She went to the liquor cabinet behind Stan's chair, which was locked as always, and looked around it for an empty wine bottle.
"Hic! Whe-hare! ar-her! you, li-hit!-le thing? HEEKUP!" She searched around the TV then under Grunkle Stan's chair. "Al-huk!-right!" She pulled the empty bottle out, hiccuping loudly as she ran up the stairs to her and Dipper's bedroom. "HEEKUP! HEEKUP! HEEKUP!"
Down in the lab, Ford put the stick on the workbench by a computer. He got the computer ready and moved the stick to a scanner, connecting wires to it.
A grin appeared on his face when he looked over the data gathered. "My, my. You really are something special, aren't you?" He pushed a button and gave the stick a shock, which made it turn into a toy soldier. "Shape-shifting abilities? Very interesting."
He was so focused on his work that he didn't notice his nephew, Dipper, had entered his lab. "Hey, Grunkle Ford."
"Dipper, you're just in time." he turned around and pointed to the toy soldier. "I stumbled across this in the woods. Watch this." He pressed the button again and the stick turned into a small metal snake. "It's a strange, shape-shifting stick that's imbued with ancient magic."
"Wow, that's something. Is it from around here?"
"No. My scanners have found invisible, dimensional residue."
Dipper's eyes grew wide with amazement. "So it can travel through time and space?"
"Bingo."
"Do you have a sister?" came a voice.
Dipper looked confused. "Of course I do, Ford. You know that."
"Huh?"
"You just asked if I have a sister."
"No, I didn't…wait a minute…" Ford looked at the snake. "Can this item communicate?"
"I can and don't zap me again." The snake changed back into the toy soldier and took a bow. "The name's Shakkuri Bo. You can call me Bo."
"Fascinating." Ford wrote stuff down in his Journal. "So what are you and what can you do?"
"Well, I'm the son of a god. I have multiple abilities but my main power is-"
Ford's wristwatch went off. "Oops. Lunchtime." He turned to Dipper and handed him the Journal. "I need you to take over for a while. Ask him questions and test his abilities."
"Of course," agreed the preteen boy. After the old scientist went upstairs, Dipper turned his attention back to Bo and asked, "So…are you dangerous?"
"Only to anyone who threatens my friends. Otherwise, no."
"I see." Dipper wrote this down. "What kind of friends?"
Bo looked around, bored, dangling his legs over the side of the workbench. "Oh…gods, girls, superheroes, robots…Okay, look, your uncle asked you to field-test me, right?"
The little boy nodded.
"How about we head upstairs and I'll show you?"
Dipper picked the living toy up and carried him to the Shack's main lobby. It was empty and quiet.
Dipper sighed, "Wendy's still out with her boyfriend, Rob."
"Wendy?" Bo recalled a little brunette with a ringlet ponytail, a blue nightgown and a British accent. Wendy Darling. She was fun but he knew the boy wasn't referring to her. "Will she be back soon?"
"Hopefully. She'll probably be back in the evening."
"Any other girls you can introduce me to?"
"Well, there's my twin sister Mabel and her friends Candy Chiu and Pacifica Northwest. Grenda couldn't make it tonight. They're upstairs having a sleepover."
"Let's go."
Dipper and the toy soldier went upstairs to the twins' bedroom. As they got closer, they heard Mabel laughing uncontrollably.
"Stohuhuhuhup! I heeheeheehee surend-hic! Ok-hay! you hiccup! win! Hic! You hik! win! I go-huck! go-hic! the hic-hup! hiccups, HIC! agai-huk! again," Mabel laughed.
Dipper blushed as he listened to her through the door.
"See? I told you I could do it," said a small, cute voice.
"Whatever, I'll spin it next," said a valley girl accent voice. The sound of an empty wine bottle could be heard. "Okay, Truth or Dare?"
Dipper didn't know the door wasn't shut all the way until he found himself falling forward and onto the floor.
"Di-hip!-er!" exclaimed Mabel, blushing.
The boy looked up to see the girls were playing truth or dare and Mabel was on the floor with her sweater up and her mouth hanging open, hiccuping loudly. "HIC! HIC! HEEK! HILK! HUK! HICCUH!"
The little, bespeckled Asian girl watched as Bo got up to dust himself off. "Who are you?"
"Hello, girls. I'm Shakkuri Bo."
"Hiccup Stick?"
"Correct. You must be Candy. The hiccuping beauty on the floor must be Mabel and you must be Pacifica. I do love a pretty blonde."
Pacifica blushed, "Thanks. HEEK! Ahem."
He turned to Candy. "Ahem. I'm guessing Mabel dared you to tickle her until she got hiccups?"
"How'd you know?"
"Lucky guess. Mind if we join you?"
Dipper stuttered, "I-I don't know about-"
"Oh, come now! It'll be fun. Besides, you'll get to sit next to your sister."
Dipper blushed. "I…okay." Dipper sat next to Mabel and put an arm around her, putting his hand on her spasming tummy.
Mabel blushed. "D-hip!-er…HICCUH! Hic! Hiccup!"
Bo watched them for a moment before he asked, "So, Pacifica , it was your turn, right? Truth or dare?"
Pacifica regained her composure and stated, "Truth. What can you do?"
"And here I thought you'd ask me a tough question. I can do many things but my main power is giving girls the hiccups."
"Really?"
"I'm a magical toy soldier. Is what I say hard to believe?"
"Good point."
"Can the hiccups you give people be spread?" asked Candy.
"Uh, uh, uh. You must spin the bottle for more."
"I HEEKA! got a hic! bett-her! idea," said Mabel. She took the bottle and spun it around until it pointed to Bo.
"Alright. Truth or dare?"
"Da-her! I hiccup! dare y-hoo! to give hiccup! Candy hic! the hic-hup!-s."
"As you wish." The toy soldier walked over to the little Asian girl and kissed her.
Candy hiccuped in his face as he pulled away. "HEEKUP! Ooo!" She giggled, "I-hit!-s been HEK! been a HEEK! long ti-hime! since hic! I go-hut! the HEEK! hicc-hup!-s." She rested a hand on her spasming tummy.
Dipper was getting excited. He kept an arm around his sister while putting his other arm around Candy. Now he had two cute girls hiccuping against him.
Bo and Dipper noticed Pacifica was watching her friends hiccuping with a thirsty look in her eyes. Dipper winked and the toy soldier returned it.
"I'd say it was Dipper's turn but since he's occupied, I'll spin for him." Bo grabbed the end of the bottle and pushed it with just enough force for it to stop at Pacifica.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Dare. I dare you to kiss Candy," said Dipper.
Pacifica was hesitant. "I don't know…"
"You're not scared, are you?"
The valley girl looked indignant. "Of course not!" She got up and marched over to Candy, pulling her face to her. At first it was a simple kiss but soon they were making out. During this, everyone could hear Pacifica 's muffled hiccups, "HEEM! HEEMP! HEEUM! HEEM! HEEM!"
Bo continued to watch them as he spun the bottle. It stopped on Dipper, though he seemed a bit distracted by the girls' hiccups.
"Ahem."
"Huh? Oh. Sorry. Truth or dare?"
"Dare. I dare you to get your sister drunk."
"Okay but the liquor is locked up in the living room downstairs."
"I see. Luckily, I have the power to unlock anything. Be right back." Bo left, watching as Mabel and Dipper started kissing, before closing the door and hopped down the stairs.
He made his way to the liquor cabinet but remembered his height issues as he looked up at the tall structure before him. He could ingest two bottles as a snake and carry them that way though that would still be a bit of a challenge. He needed a little help. Who would he summon for this? Of course.
"How does Dad do this? Right…right…ahem…Arumi Asahina, come forth!"
In a flash of light, a little, Osakan girl with brown hair done in braided pigtails, a plain white dress and sandals appeared next to him.
"Huck! Hey, huck! Bo, hucka! what's hukup! up?" She greeted.
"Could you help me with this cabinet? I need to get some alcohol for my friends upstairs."
Arumi grinned. "Onl-hee! if yo-hoo! let me-hee! join huk! you."
"Of course. Did you think that you were only here to carry wine? Now one moment." The toy soldier pointed to the lock and shot out a beam of light. The lock clicked and the door opened. "Originally, I was gonna get two but, since you're here, we'll take four. One for each girl."
The Asian girl grabbed two bottles in each hand.
"Wait. Let me add a little something." He touched the bottles and they glowed for a moment. "Now let's go." Since four were kinda heavy for her to carry, Bo became a snake and swallowed two.
Arumi looked at a bottle and put it upside down in her mouth, swallowing it whole. As she hiccuped, her belly shook and the wine sloshed in the bottle. "HEEKUP! Slosh. Heek! Slosh. Hic! Slosh."
"Well, that's one way to ingest wine." He and the Osakan girl made their way upstairs. "With that much movement, it's only a matter of time before the cork gets loose."
A muffled pop could be heard in her tummy as the wine filled her belly and made it pouch out. Her expression became dopey and she stumbled a bit at the top of the stairs.
"HICCUP!" Several pink bubbles flew out of her mouth and took the shape of elephants. They began to swim around Arumi.
"Excellent. My new Pink Elephant spell works. Thank you, Dumbo."
Arumi giggled, hiccup-snorting one of the pink elephant's up her nose, "Heksnort!" before she opened the door and Bo slithered in.
The girls were embracing Dipper, hiccuping hard against him. He had the biggest grin on his face. Could tonight get any better?
"If I may interrupt you guys for a moment, I brought the wine and a friend to join us." He opened his mouth and released the two wine bottles he had inside himself.
Arumi stumbled in, placing the third bottle next to the others. "Hiee…HEEUP! HEEK! I-HEEM! Arum-HEE!" She slurred.
Dipper and the girls watched the bubbles dance.
"Wha-hut!-'re those? HEEKUP!" Asked Mabel.
"Pink Elephants. I enchanted the wine. Want some?"
The girls nodded and grabbed the bottles. They popped the corks and began to drink.
"Hiccup!"
"Heeka!"
"Hiceek!"
The girls quickly became plastered and Pink Elephants filled the room. The bubble entities began twirling, bouncing and marching in the air while others began to play jazzy trumpet music. Even when some popped, new ones took their place.
Mabel swallowed one and hiccuped it out her nose. "Hichoo!"
She turned to Dipper, who was watching the show, and grabbed his face, turning it to her. She locked lips with him. Their cheeks puffed out with bubbles which escaped their noses.
When Mabel pulled away, Dipper hiccuped a few pink elephants, "HUCKEEG!" Dipper turned to Bo. "I huck! thought hukeek! yo-hook! said HUK! your HUK! mag-hic! only HUCKEEG! works HUK! on herk! girls."
"No, my main target is girls. Is that a problem?"
Dipper shrugged. "HUKUM! Nah. HUK! I ju-HUH!-st di-HIH!-dn't expe-HEK! it." He continued to make out with his twin sister as the elephants continued their show.
Dipper, Bo and the girls continued to watch and play with the pink elephants. At one point, Bo gave the bubble entities a command and they removed Arumi's dress and gave her a wedgie.
"EEE-HEEK!-EEEK!" She yelped, as her panties rode up her crack.
The band snapped and her underwear fell to the floor. Dipper and the others stared at the hiccuping girl's plump, exposed cheeks as they jiggled with each hic. "HEEK!...HEEK!...HEEK!...HEEK!"
The elephants took turns giving each buttcheek a slap, with Dipper and the others joining in. At Mabel's third go-around, she buried her face in, hiccuping into the softness for a few minutes before Pacifica pulled down her skirt and panties and buried her face in Mabel's soft butt. Soon, all the girls were hiccuping into each other with Dipper positioning himself behind Candy.
A couple hours later, Dipper awoke on the floor with his hiccups gone and the remaining elephants nudging him. He looked around and saw that Mabel and the other girls were laying their heads on each other's butts, hiccuping in their sleep, one after the other, "Hic!" "Heek!" "Hiccup!" "Hiceek!" "Hic!" "Heek!" "Hiccup!" "Hiceek!"
The elephants got his attention and pointed to the door, indicating he should exit the room and listen on the stairs. He did so and heard two voices: Robbie and Wendy.
"How'd you know I like Rocky Horror?" asked Wendy.
"Lucky guess," replied the goth, "so what caused those hiccups of yours at the theater, anyway?"
"I swallowed some popcorn a little too fast during the Time Warp song. It was weird how I hiccupped to the rhythm of it," she giggled.
"Yeah but it was pretty funny. Too bad you had to stop because of the people behind us."
"They'll get over it. See you next week."
"See ya."
Dipper heard the front door shut, a chair move and the gentle rustling of a magazine. Another elephant floated past his head and directed him to go downstairs. Both elephants waved goodbye before popping. Remembering what Ford told him, he went back into the bedroom, wrote down what he learned about Bo and quietly went downstairs.
He saw the toy soldier hiding behind some knick knacks. Bo saw him and pointed to a nearby plastic cup. The boy walked up to the cup and poured some Mountain Dew in. The toy soldier put his hand on the cup, enchanting it, and pointed to Wendy.
Dipper nodded and reached for the cup but froze when Wendy lowered her magazine. "Hey, Dipper. Whatcha doin'?"
"Uhhh…" He felt two elephants push him forward, making him move the cup in her direction. "Thirsty?"
"Ha! I forgot I poured myself some. Thanks." She took a drink and set the cup down. "Tasty. HIC!" A small firework shot out of her mouth and circled Dipper before popping. "HIC! HICCUP! HIC!" Three more magic fireworks shot out. One through the window, one up the stairs and one above Wendy. "HICCUP! HICCUP!" Two more fireworks shot forth.
Dipper began to panic. "Oh my god! What have I done?! Grunkle Stan's gonna-"
Wendy chuckled, "No, HIC! it's HILK! okay. HUK! Look." Despite the explosions, there was no damage in any area they popped in.
Dipper wiped his forehead. "Whew!"
Bo laughed as he came out of hiding, "Did you really think I'd blow up your house? This spell isn't lethal. Bubble Bombs, on the other hand-"
"Who-HOOK! are HIC! you, litt-HUL! dude?" Wendy asked.
"Oh right. Ahem. I'm Shakkuri Bo, hiccup magic extraordinaire. Perhaps we should take this outside."
"I-HEE! know HICCUH! just HIK! the HIC! spot. HICCUP! Foll-HO! me." She pulled a rope above her and a ladder came down. Once she and the others got to the roof and set up lawn chairs, Wendy asked, "So HICCUP! yo-HOO! give HIC! girls HICCUP! hiccups? HICCUP!"
"It's what I was literally born to do."
"Cool. HICCUP!"
The trio watched fireworks continue to shoot out from Wendy and explode into the night sky. By Bo's suggestion, she held her mouth shut for a few seconds before releasing a large firework blast, "HICCUUHUH!" that shot up high and created a big multicolored explosion.
Dipper leaned over to Bo and whispered, "Could I switch seats with you?"
"I've got a better idea."
Bo moved from his seat and climbed onto Wendy's breasts before signaling Dipper. Dipper climbed over to Bo's lawn chair and rested his head on her spasming tummy. Wendy looked down and rubbed his head.
"HIC! HIC! HILK! HICCUP! HICCUP! HIC! HICCUP! HICKLE! HICKLE! HICKLE! HICKLE!"
Bo quietly grabbed Dipper's hand and placed it on one of Wendy's boobs. Wendy was surprised for a moment and blushed, rubbing Dipper's head again.
Stan Pines, aka Grunkle Stan awoke to the noise and saw the colorful explosions outside his window. "Those better not be my fireworks. I was saving those for my Boomalope display." He got his slippers on and went downstairs to see the ladder. He climbed up and saw Wendy hiccuping them out and went over and stood in front of the trio, seeing Dipper's hand on Wendy's breast. "Dipper, you sly dog!" He laughed.
Dipper, blushing and embarrassed, pulled his hand off. "Grunkle Stan! I-I…uh…what're you…uh-"
"I can hear the noise from my room. Ahem. You eat my fireworks, Wendy?"
"I HICCUP!"
"No," Bo interjected, "they're magic."
"Heh heh. Good. This'll save me a fortune for the 4th of July," laughed Stan.
"So you aren't curious about who I am?"
"Not in the slightest. However, if you can provide me more of this, I'll give you a five percent discount on my knick knacks…no, two percent."
"How about this? I can set up a deal between you and my dad, I'll provide a big barrel of soda enchanted with the Hiccup Fireworks spell and Wendy and Mabel become my dad's slaves."
"Deal."
"Excuse me, what?" Asked Dipper.
"Don't worry," the toy soldier assured, "your sister and girlfriend will be treated well. Besides, they'll only be called away on occasion. Think of it like summoning a genie."
Dipper blushed. "G-Girlfriend? I-I mean, she's not actually my-"
"I HIC! can HICCA! be bo-HO!-th," giggled Wendy, "Robb-HEE! will HICCUP! just HIC! have HIC! to get HICCA! used HILK! to shar-HINK! is all. HICCUP!" Wendy gave Dipper a kiss.
Bo grinned. "Of course, Candy and Pacifica will join us, too. Don't want to leave them out."
With that, our first adventure comes to a close. Perhaps it took place in an alternate reality. Perhaps this was one of Jenny Wakeman's fanfics. We may never know.