A/N: So this was an idea that came to me one night ages ago and has kept coming back to me since. Slightly Dean critical but I think more of an acknowledgement that he has faults. Also, I forgot Mary didn't join the BMOL until after they "dealt" with Lucifer so let's just pretend she joins them early, plus she doesn't exactly look her best in this one either. Meh. Read at your own peril.
"What was that about?" Dean asked as Sam hung up the phone. Dean hunched protectively over his plate a little more as Sam approached. He watched as strands of Sam's hair, still damp from his post-workout shower caught in the collar of his shirt.
"It was Mom," Sam replied as he stared concernedly at the phone in his hand rather than the brother addressing him, "she says she's found something."
"Well, why doesn't she tell all her fancy new British friends instead?" Dean retorted with a snarky edge to his voice.
Keeping his eyes on Sam, he ripped another bite out of his bacon. Sam was good at feigning nonchalance but he had picked up the nasty habit of stealing bits of Dean's breakfast as he was passing through. It was because of all that running and keeping fit and eating a healthy diet. A bowl of muesli was never going to fill that sasquatch up, Dean thought.
"I don't know, but right now we're fresh out of leads so I think we should check it out," Sam replied as he took a seat and finally looked his brother in the eye.
"Why? Why should we do anything she asks of us? She abandoned us, Sam! The first chance she got!"
"Because it might be important. It might be able to help with the little Lucifer problem we have right now," Sam pointed out with an edge of exasperation in his voice. Although Sam had felt similarly to Dean, his brother's untempered, perennial bitching about it was beginning to try his patience.
"What could Mom possibly have found to help us with Lucifer?" Dean asked disparagingly.
"Working with the British men of letters? Could be anything. But we won't know for sure until we check it out," Sam reiterated.
Dean paused as he considered Sam's logic. He mentally circled it, prodding it experimentally for weaknesses and, regrettably, found none.
"Okay," he finally conceded gruffly, "but we go in, have a look, and get out. All business."
"All business." Sam agreed, "Now hurry up and get dressed, the location she sent me is a bit of a drive away." Sam turned his phone to show Dean the address and as Dean was distracted with the information, Sam swiped a rasher of bacon. "Get dressed," he reiterated as he stood up and hightailed it out of the kitchen just as Dean noticed what he'd done.
The drive was around three hours long and brought them to the middle of nowhere. Another thirty-minute hike up a gentle incline brought them to the entrance of a hidden cave where they saw Mary and Mick waiting for them.
"So is the mystery prize in there?" Dean asked as he stormed past them and walked straight into the cave, "better get this show on the road."
"Uh, yes," Mary replied lamely as she watched Dean's back get swallowed by the shadows. She looked back at Sam who had slowed down to acknowledge his mom and Mick.
"We better get after him," Sam suggested awkwardly, "It's not booby-trapped, is it?"
"Not as such," replied Mick cryptically.
Sam raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
"It would be easier just to show you," said Mick as indicated to the entrance of the cave.
Sam, with his wariness at an acceptable level and his curiosity climbing, followed his brother into the cave.
"What's in here anyway?" Sam asked over his shoulder as he walked.
"A weapon. We think it might be able to kill Lucifer… but the only problem is getting it out of the cave," Mary replied.
"I thought Mick said it wasn't booby-trapped," Sam accused.
"It isn't," Mick replied cryptically.
Before Sam could throw a sarcastic retort over his shoulder he caught up with Dean as they entered a large natural chamber. He had stopped just inside the opening and was staring at a familiar sight.
"A dragon-killing sword?" Dean asked incredulously as he turned to face the others, "You dragged us all the way out here for a stupid dragon-killing sword?"
Sam couldn't help but agree with Dean as the spark of hope he had been nursing all morning winked out. He looked at the large, ornate handle sticking out of the boulder and wondered why on earth Mary would think this would be helpful, or why she needed them. Surely the British men of letters would be able to rustle up a knight or two from somewhere and fly them over? Then they would be able to actually remove the sword without breaking it.
As Dean continued to rant sarcastically at Mary and Mick, Sam took a curious step forward to inspect the handle better. This one was inlaid with jewels and gilded heavily. Much more ornate than the broken handle they had used once and then tossed in a box to be forgotten about in one of the bunker's storage rooms.
"Sam, wait!" Mick's cry caught his attention and pulled Sam back from touching the handle.
"What?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you," he said with a sideways glance at Dean, "That isn't just any dragon-killing sword. It's the dragon-killing sword. Excalibur. And you don't need to be a knight to wield it, you just need to be… worthy."
"What's that supposed to mean?" spat Dean, "what exactly does a sword consider worthy? A fencing black belt?"
"I don't think they have black belts in fencing, Dean," Sam interjected.
"Shut up, Sam." Dean threw over his shoulder before turning back to the people he was most angry at, "And how the hell is a sword supposed to tell how worthy we are?"
"Well," began Mick with a big breath, and the Winchester brothers just knew the explanation was going to be wild, "there's some kind of a spirit attached to the sword. The spirit of Merlin. And he appears whenever someone new touches the handle and… tests them."
"What kind of tests?" Sam asked guardedly. He had been through trials before and still shuddered at the memory.
"Oh, nothing too strenuous," replied Mick lightly and at the matching looks on the bothers' faces - which promised violence if he didn't get straight to the point - continued, "he just uses some strange kind of tarot cards to determine how sinful or virtuous you are. It's perfectly painless."
Sam considered this and thought that might be worse.
"Oh no, I am not having some crusty old dude tell me that I can't use a sword to kill Lucifer just because I like to spice things up in the bedroom," Dean ranted and reached out to touch the handle.
Lightning flashed inside the cave as the apparition unfurled and suddenly there stood - "Gabriel?" both Dean and Sam exclaimed at the same time. He looked strange wearing a worn, red linen tunic and sheepskin boots, but it was definitely him.
"Okay first," replied the spirit as it scanned the room and the occupants therein, "How do you two buckos know that name? And second, why does one of you look like you want to kill me and the other look like you want to kiss me?"
Both brothers shot a deadpan look at the apparition.
"Wait, Gabriel as in… the archangel Gabriel? " Mick muttered quietly to Mary who shrugged in response.
"We watched you die," said Sam softly, still not quite daring to believe that Gabriel was standing before him. He had half a mind to prod him just to see if he was real.
"Yeah, and a fat load of good that did," retorted Dean bitterly.
"I died?"
"Well, you sure made us think you did," retorted Dean with a gesture towards the evidence pointing to the contrary.
"How?"
"Don't you remember?" demanded Dean.
Gabriel looked him up and down and didn't appear to be impressed by what he saw. "No, hunter, I don't. I am the part of me that I fused with Excalibur fourteen centuries ago. I have been mostly dormant ever since. There have been many who have presumed to wield its power but only two have succeeded." He turned to Sam, "You say Lucifer killed the rest of me?"
Sam nodded.
"So big bro's out of his cage? Looking to restart that old fight with Michael?"
"Um…" Sam trailed off, wondering how to answer Gabriel's questions without taking three days to do it.
"Been there, done that," Dean replied flippantly, "got the crappy t-shirt. Lucifer got out of his cage again and we can't just shove him back in like we did last time. So we need a weapon we can use against him, with or without your help." The last part of Dean's speech was growled pointedly at the Angel.
Gabriel, who had looked incredulous through Dean's rant, bristled at the last sentence.
"Wait," Sam quickly interjected in an attempt to diffuse the situation, but there was a secret part of himself that was also a little star-struck - he had grown up on tales of King Arthur's court after all, "So you're Merlin as well?"
Gabriel straightened up and affixed a smirk back onto his face as he turned to Sam, "I like to get around."
"Yeah don't we know it," muttered Dean.
"Fascinating catch-up, chaps." Mick interjected, "Another day I would love to hear all about how you guys know each other but perhaps we should get down to the business at hand, yeah?"
"You're back?" Gabriel questioned as he turned to face Mick, "I don't usually see people again after they've failed the test. I don't offer resits so soon."
"No no, not here for a resit." Mick backed off with his hands held up in surrender, "But since Lucifer is walking the earth and all that jazz and since we're in desperate need of a weapon to use against him, I thought I might bring some other people to be tested." He nudged Mary forward as he spoke.
Gabriel hummed and stepped forward to inspect Mary. "Ladies first?" he offered as he conjured what looked like a tarot deck out of thin air.
"Sure," replied Mary a little uncertainly, "what do I have to do?"
With a small flourish, Gabriel handed over the deck. "Just give these a shuffle for me, would ya doll?"
Warily Mary took the cards and began shuffling. Her movements started uncertain but her nimble fingers quickly became more confident with the familiar action. She made to hand the deck back but Gabriel waved her off and conjured a table and chairs into existence.
"Put them there," he commanded as he indicated a space on the tabletop.
Mary complied and also took a seat at another gesture from Gabriel while he did the same. Both Sam and Dean took a curious step forward to gather around the table as Gabriel instructed Mary to lay six cards out in a pyramid formation in front of her.
"Let's see what your most important trait is," Gabriel said as he flipped over the card at the point of the pyramid.
"Sloth?" exclaimed Mick in disbelief, "but Mary barely gives herself a day between hunts! She is, hands down, the least lazy person in the barracks."
"Mary?" the angel questioned as he turned his sly gaze back to her.
She also looked surprised by the card and could offer no answers to anyone. "I... I don't know," she eventually stammered under Gabriel's intense stare.
The brothers shared a disproving frown at Gabriel's hostility and each subtly shifted their stances into more defensive positions.
"Really? You can't think of anything you've been procrastinating on?"
Mary glanced guiltily at her sons.
Luckily the only thing Mick did when he caught on was look rather sheepish.
"Cat got your tongue?" prodded Gabriel.
Sam cleared his throat meaningfully, "Let's just keep this moving shall we?"
Gabriel shrugged and reached out to flip over the next card.
"Rashness?" questioned Dean.
"That's not a deadly sin or a heavenly virtue," Sam said slowly.
"You think my dad is the only authority on virtue and sin? He only made you guys, Aristotle lived as one of you. Got the whole four-dee human experience. Plus have you ever seen ancient Greek entertainment? No wonder they had so many philosophers." Gabriel retorted before flipping over the next card.
They all stared at the word illiberality, printed in bold across the third card.
"Well, that's three for three on the vices," Gabriel remarked a little snidely, "I gotta tell you, Mary, it's not looking good."
"Is there any point in continuing?" she asked stiffly.
"No," Gabriel replied and swept the cards off the table and slotted them back into the deck.
He looked up at the brothers, his eyes darted between them briefly, smirk widening as he seemed to miraculously become more aware of who they were. Gabriel's eyes finally rested on Sam as he said, "Roll up, roll up. Come and get your soul judged," and waved the cards lazily in the air.
"Alright, let's get this over with," growled Dean as he snatched the cards out of Gabriel's hand and started expertly shuffling them as he took Mary's vacated seat.
"Suit yourself," Gabriel shrugged.
Dean finished shuffling the cards with a little flourish and laid out six cards in the same formation as his mother. Once he was done he slapped the rest of the deck down on the table and stared defiantly at the archangel.
Unnafacted, (or most likely unimpressed,) Gabriel reached out to turn over the first card.
Wrath.
Not exactly surprising but Sam still winced minutely. Another sin in the top slot. His hopes of at least one of them gaining a weapon against Lucifer were starting to plummet.
"What?" cried Dean defensively, "I got a lot to be angry about!"
"Maybe not as much as you think you do," retorted Gabriel with a meaningful look at the card.
The next card was courage.
"Hey look at that!" cheered Dean, "I got a virtue."
"Don't break out the champagne just yet," grumbled Gabriel as he turned over the next card to reveal pride.
Before any more witty repartee could take place, Gabriel flipped the next card which turned out to be gluttony.
Sam wondered why he had even let himself hope when he had seen courage. Excalibur was fated to be wielded by great and noble kings. Legends. Dean may be good, in the most black-and-white sense of the term, but he wasn't exactly virtuous.
And Sam? How could Sam think himself worthy even for a second? When Dean had been the righteous man, he had been the abomination, the boy-king of hell. When Dean had been the true vessel of the archangel Michael, champion of justice, Sam had been Lucifer's prom dress.
The weight of Sam's mistakes pinned him down with increasing pressure while he watched Gabriel reveal Dean's fifth card which said diligence.
When Dean had been in hell, Sam had gotten hooked on demon blood. When Sam had been in hell, Dean had grieved but still looked for a way to get him out. While Dean had grieved, Sam had been a soulless killing machine. While Dean had been in purgatory, Sam had run away.
Sam recognised he was starting to spiral when he noticed that the final card had been revealed and Sam had completely missed it. He locked his jaw and buried his despair and self-loathing deep.
"Screw this! You can take all your virtue crap and shove it up your ass! We should never have bothered coming," remonstrated Dean as he roughly shoved himself away from the table.
Dean stormed toward the exit of the cave and the others started to fall in line behind him until Gabriel cleared his throat behind them and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
"What?" demanded Dean sharply.
"Seems to me like there's still one of you who has yet to take the test."
All eyes darted to Sam and he shifted uncomfortably under their pinprick stares. It was about that time that Sam wished the ground would swallow him up, but what he failed to remember was that he was in a cave, technically the ground had already swallowed him.
"No. We're done here," insisted Dean.
"Aww, c'mon," wheedled Gabriel, "You can't stop Cinderella from trying on the slipper."
Dean looked like he was about to protest again but Mick cut in smoothly. "Of course!" he cried as if he couldn't believe they would be so careless, "I can't believe we forgot! Sam?"
Sam gave a lifeless chuckle, "I don't think Excalibur is going to find a new owner any time soon."
"Why not, Sambo?" Gabriel taunted.
Sam hesitated and glanced around for backup. "C'mon, I mean, you said only two people in the last fourteen centuries have been deemed worthy enough to wield Excalibur, what are the chances you're going to find me worthy?"
"About six million to one," Gabriel replied airily.
Sam nodded in satisfaction and they all turned to leave. Only to come up against Gabriel standing in the exit.
"I hate to say it, but I'm going to have to insist. You see," Gabriel said as he took a slow, deliberate step towards Sam, you woke me up. I can't go back to bed until all of you have at least attempted to take the test. And who knows what a bored trickster archangel will get up to when left to their own devices?"
Sam sighed. "Fine," he practically spat.
He stalked over to the seat and dropped himself into it and waited for Gabriel to resume his seat too.
He reluctantly took the deck Gabriel offered him, it was warm and so smooth it was almost silken to the touch. He started to shuffle and some distant part of his mind noticed that the large deck, which had looked ungainly in the hands of his mother and brother, fit his huge paws effortlessly.
He shuffled the cards methodically, then placed the top six cards down in formation and glared in the face of Gabriel's smugness.
"Well well well, look what we have here," Gabriel taunted as he turned over the first card.
Courage.
Sam stared, hardly daring to believe it. He certainly didn't think of himself as courageous. He had let everyone down too many times for that.
How could he be the only one with a virtue at the top of the pyramid?
"It's not wrath," he whispered disbelievingly.
Gabriel peered at him closely. He hummed a little as he let his gaze wander up and down. "Oh, I can see it now!" Gabriel exclaimed triumphantly, "You used to have a lot of anger, didn't you? I'm surprised you didn't turn all big and green. Anyway, seems to be mostly out of your system now."
Gabriel waved a hand dismissively and reached for the second card. "Wait!" Sam put his hand protectively over the second card, "But I still get angry."
"Well, yeah. Everyone gets angry sometimes. It shows you care. It only becomes a vice when you let it control you." Gabriel shrugged as if the matter could be closed so easily.
He pulled the second card out from under Sam's hand and turned it over to reveal envy,
Sam nodded. That sounded about right. He leaned back in his chair, strangely relieved that he would no longer have to bare his soul to everyone in the room. "I guess that's it then," he said as he made to stand.
"Woah. Hold up there cowboy, where do you think you're going?"
"Umm, home?" replied Sam, mystified as to why Gabriel wanted him to stay, "I failed? So there's no point in turning the rest of the cards over?"
"Do you hear a fat lady singing? Sit down," ordered Gabriel, putting Sam in mind of one of his old high school teachers, "you haven't failed anything just yet."
Sam was surprised but sat back down anyway.
Kindness, the next card said.
Sam could feel the tension in the room pull taught as everyone realised it was a second virtue in the top three slots. As Sam waited tensely for the next card to be flipped, he had the random thought that Meatloaf had once sung two out of three ain't bad.
The fourth card was patience.
Sam looked at the angel suspiciously. He was almost positive he was being tricked somehow. Dean hadn't been able to free that lesser sword from its stone, so why would he be able to free Excalibur?
Gabriel lifted his eyes to meet Sam's, there was amusement there, but not the gleeful amusement of getting one over on someone, it was mild and tinged with a hint of surprise. It was as if Gabriel was being genuine.
Sam dropped his eyes back to the next card, he just wanted to get this all over with now.
Gabriel turned it over revealing the word temperance.
The angel now had an expression of smug delight on his face. But nobody noticed, they were all fixated on the table
as the tension in the rest of them ratcheted up by several newtons.
"Wait!" Dean interjected as Gabriel made a move for the final card, "If Sammy passes this test, does that mean he's the rightful king of England?"
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "No," he said tiredly, "That was a one-time deal and Elizabeth the first was a lot more grateful and reverent about it than you lot."
"Well, it's a little difficult to feel reverent when we had to sort out God and Amara's sibling rivalry," retorted Dean.
"And Michael and Lucifer's," added Sam.
Gabriel looked between the two of them. "Who are you people?"
"Just some really unlucky sons of bitches," replied Dean.
As the tangent reached its natural end, all eyes again fell on the sixth card. If it turned out to be a sin, it was game over, start again, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred. Sam shifted a little in his seat, trying to work out what sin it could be.
Probably wrath.
He might not feel constant anger any more, but he had made a lot of stupid mistakes out of it and even killed because of it.
He'd abandoned Dean a handful of times because of it.
Maybe not as much as he used to, but it couldn't be completely gone.
Sam looked at Gabriel who seemed vaguely anticipatory, yet there was a fatigued slump to the set of his shoulders. Sam wondered if Gabriel wanted Sam to pass. He was probably just excited for the chance to get out for a bit.
The archangel placed a hand on the final card and looked up at Sam. It was as if he was asking for permission, either that or he was asking if Sam was ready.
After taking a deep breath, Sam nodded, giving permission even if he didn't feel entirely ready.
The last card read diligence.
Sam looked back at Gabriel, still mostly convinced that this was another of his tricks.
"Sam, you passed," Mary gasped in awe.
"Nice one! I knew one of the famous Winchesters would pass," added Mick to no one in particular.
Sam glanced at Dean, knowing that if there was any rat to be smelled, his brother would pick up on it quicker than he could and curb any false hope. Because Sam ached to believe it and he didn't think he could take the disappointment if it turned out to be untrue.
But instead of eyeing the trickster up, he was looking at Sam as if he'd never seen him before. After a few moments of silence, Dean finally managed to croak out, "Nerd."
Sam turned back to Gabriel, who was looking at him expectantly.
"So what happens now?"
"Well, you pull the sword from the stone and then I get a change of scenery that's only three hundred years too late," Gabriel replied with a sigh.
Sam got to his feet and turned to face Excalibur. Gabriel also pushed himself to stand, much more slowly and laboriously than Sam, followed by the table and chairs shimmering out of existence.
"So, once I pull the sword from the stone, you'll stay… y'know, corporeal?" Sam asked uncertainly as he approached the stone. The guilty half of him that had been happily gnawing on his heartstrings for the last seven years like a particularly determined rottweiler hoped the answer would be yes. The other half of him imagined with horror the hours they would spend in the car driving home and then after that, actually living in the bunker with the pair of them, (Sam wasn't sure how far away Gabriel could get from the sword and feared it wouldn't be far) and hoped he would say no.
"Sure, why not?" shrugged Gabriel listlessly.
Sam reached for the sword.
"I mean, you look like you've got a powerful soul, and you passed the test," Gabriel mumbled as an afterthought.
Sam immediately flinched back from the sword, "What?"
"Hey! What do you mean powerful soul?" demanded Dean, stepping forward to put himself between Sam and Gabriel, "you're not leeching off Sammy's soul! You hear me?"
"Oh please," scoffed Gabriel, "I'm not just gonna feed off his soul like some kinda parasite!"
"Then what are you going to do with his soul?" asked Mary as she joined Dean in standing between Sam and Gabriel.
Mick also shuffled closer to Sam.
"I'm only going to use it to reconnect to heaven," Gabriel retorted tiredly, "I'm only a sliver of my original grace and that oversized toothpick over there isn't a very good conduit on its own. If I can connect to a powerful soul, the soul of someone truly good, then I can regain the true might of an archangel. And since I'm apparently the only thing left of me, there should be a void to fill."
"No! My brother is not going to be your hook-up to heaven!" Dean protested, stepping towards Gabriel aggressively.
"Dean!" Sam hissed, ineffectually.
"He passed the test. He gets the sword, I get my grace back. That's how it is," replied Gabriel, stepping forward to meet Dean's challenge.
"Not if I have anything to do with it," growled Dean.
"Dean!" Sam hissed again.
"What?" Dean called over his shoulder, "You can't seriously be considering this? You know what angels are like!"
"I know, but Gabriel fought Lucifer and died. For us. And then he gave us a way to put him back in the cage. We kinda owe him," Sam argued.
"The hell we don't!" retorted Dean as he turned to look at Sam, "I'm not letting you become another angel's bitch!"
"Yeah? Well, this time it's my choice," Sam replied pointedly as he grasped the handle of the sword and pulled it free in one smooth motion.
The blade glowed brightly as it was revealed but Gabriel glowed brighter still and stood straighter as was energized while Sam felt a rushing sensation pass through him. He could feel the immense power rushing right through his soul, it wasn't painful, but neither was it pleasant. The process seemed to take a while and as Gabriel grew brighter the humans covered their eyes against his, quite literally, blinding luminescence.
Gabriel cracked his neck as the light finally dimmed, his attire having been miraculously updated while everyone had been covering their eyes. "Woohoo! Your soul really packs a punch!" he shook himself out and looked up at Sam with a glint in his eye, "Well I don't know about you guys but the decor in here is really bringing me down, so why don't we get out of here, head back to wherever your home base is and on the way you can fill me in on what I've missed?"
Gabriel turned and began striding confidently out of the cave.
"Hey hold up you freakish, annoying talking pigeon!" Dean called as he started after the rapidly escaping Archangel, "Who said you could tag along, huh? We only came for the sword!"
"Should we go after them?" asked Mick as he sidled up to Sam and sneakily stole a closer look at Excalibur now that it was no longer glowing.
Sam sighed. "Probably," he replied, but instead of making a move for the exit, he shrugged off his jacket. "But we should probably give it five minutes, let them get it out of their systems a little bit first," he added as he took off his shirt and wrapped it protectively around the blade in lieu of a proper sheath and shrugged his jacket back on.
"Right," Mick agreed uncertainly. He hesitated a moment before hurrying towards the exit, partly because he had a chance to talk to a real live archangel, and partly because said archangel was alone with a pissed-off Dean Winchester and he wanted the angel to stay alive long enough to talk to him.
Sam turned to follow Mick but as he was about to leave the cave, he noticed Mary hovering by the stone. "Mom? You okay?" he asked.
Mary smiled, "Oh, no I'm fine," she said, completely failing to convince Sam in the process.
He pursed his lips and frowned at her. "You know, us Winchesters, when we say we're fine, it usually means we're not."
Mary sighed and stepped forward. "It's just these tests have given me a lot to think about, that's all."
Sam allowed her to pass him and followed her out of the cave.
He considered her words for a few moments as they walked. "I don't think you should put too much stock in what those cards said anyway. I mean, look at Dean. He's saved more lives than anyone I know, he went to hell for me once and he was about to sacrifice himself again to stop Amara. He's the best hunter - the best person I know. But even he didn't pass the test. And yeah he gets pretty worked up. And when we're not on a case, and sometimes even when we are on a case, he eats and sleeps with whoever he wants, consequences be damned. But he's a good person." Sam said as they both emerged into the open air.
They could both see Dean and Gabriel ahead of them, still arguing as they both made their way back to the car.
"I really hurt him, didn't I? When I left," said Mary as they both started down the hill.
"He understands."
"I know." Mary acknowledged, "But he still hurts."
Sam sighed. "He just worries about you when we don't hear from you, we both do."
Mary looked at Sam. "I'm sorry," she said and seemed to be apologising for more than missing their calls, "This isn't what I pictured motherhood to be… But I'll try to be better. For both of you. Can you find a little patience for me while I figure out how?"
"Of course," replied Sam. How could he reply in any other way?