Chapter 18
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Chimney finally gave up on trying to manipulate someone into telling him where Buck lived, catching him alone in the fire station or being able to follow him home and rang Buck demanding to hear the phone calls he'd received from Maddie.
Buck refused to meet him, even in public, and played the recording to him over the phone.
"That's it? That was years ago! I want to hear all the calls since then," Chimney demanded.
"That is the only call I've received from Maddie since the call on the day she left Jee at the 118, I made sure you were told about it as soon as I could, why would you think that I'd heard from her again and not told you?" Buck asked.
"You were supposed to find out where she went," Chimney stated, annoyed.
"She never answers when I call. She did read most of my texts eventually until her phone number was disconnected, sometimes it took a couple of months but she left them on read and never replied to any of them."
"Is she messaging you on insta?" Chimney asked suspiciously.
"No, she doesn't even 'like' the photos I post of Jee. I don't know whether she's still looking at them or not," Buck said.
"If you really haven't heard from her in so long, why haven't you reported her missing again?" Chimney demanded.
"Because she's not missing, according to them. They know where she is," Buck said tiredly.
"What's the background noise in the call. Hen said you thought it was from Boston?" Chimney asked.
"It sounds a bit like the bells in the Old North Church in Boston, they're pretty rare but not unique and it could have been a recording or something on the TV," Buck said.
"Where else are there bells like that? Because I know you would have done a google dive on them. Or are you so happy playing daddy to my daughter that you don't want to find Maddie?" Chimney asked snidely.
"I did, and I didn't find any record of Maddie being in any of those places, but you know what. Fuck You! I've told you all I actually know. You want to chase down those fucking bells then you do your own investigating. It isn't like you're going to believe me anyway!" Buck finally lost his temper. Chimney's accusation hit hard. As much as he'd tried to keep in mind that his custody of Jee was temporary he wasn't looking forward to the day she went back to her parents. Particularly as the longer Maddie was gone, the less faith Buck had that she'd keep in touch with him if she did get custody of Jee back.
Anne rang Buck in a panic a few days later. "Please tell me Jee is safe with you?" She begged.
"She's still asleep," Buck said, getting out of bed to check on the two year old. It was still early, before Jee would normally wake up.
"She's here, what's up?" Buck replied.
"Howie's gone. He's packed up during the night and taken my car and all his things," Anne said.
"Thanks for warning me. It's Jee's day at day care. I'll call out so I can stay with her today," Buck said.
"Keep our precious girl safe," Anne instructed, disconnecting.
Buck immediately rang Athena.
"Buckaroo, what's the matter baby?" Athena asked sounding wide awake.
"Anne just rang to warn me Chimney packed up all his stuff and left overnight. She thinks he's going looking for Maddie again and wanted to make sure I Jee was still home with me safe," Buck said.
"Did Anne use the word safe?" Athena asked astutely.
"Yeah, she was in a panic begging me to tell her Jee was with me and then she asked me to keep our precious girl safe. She said Chimney's taken her car but I don't think she plans on reporting it stolen," Buck replied.
"Do you know the make, model and license plate?" Athena asked.
"It's an old green Subaru small SUV, but I don't know the plate number," Buck replied. "I'm gonna call out from work today so I can stay with Jee."
"Keep the door locked and call 9-1-1 if Chimney shows up. Do not open that door for anyone you're not absolutely sure is not going to take Jee to Chimney. I'll look up the registration and plate number and put an alert on it," Athena said.
"Nobody who knows where I live would do that," Buck said confidently.
"Remember that you're not supposed to be there today. Put your car in the garage out of sight then you'll know nobody coming to the house is there to visit you," Athena commanded, rather than argue with Buck. "I'll try to add your neighbourhood to the patrols so if you do need help if will hopefully be close by."
"Thanks Athena," Buck replied.
"What's wrong, Eddie asked as he saw Buck standing in the hallway watching Jee sleep
"Anne rang and said Chimney's packed his stuff and done a runner, she was worried he'll try to take Jee," Buck replied.
"Have you called Athena?" Eddie asked wrapping his arms around his best friend.
"Yeah, she said to put my car out of sight and keep the door locked, not to answer to anyone," Buck said.
"Aren't you on shift today?" Eddie asked.
"I'm going to call out," Buck replied.
"Do you want me to call out too. You'll go crazy stuck inside the house alone with her all day," Eddie offered.
"No, I mean, I want you home with me but we need to be sensible about this. If Chimney isn't found then I'll need to go back to work on Friday," Buck said.
"I'll call out Friday if we don't have proof Chimney's left searching for Maddie or there's another good explanation for him leaving the Lees in the middle of the night," Eddie agreed.
"Thanks Eddie," Buck said burrowing into his friend's chest.
"I've got your back," Eddie reassured him holding him tightly. "Let's get the car's moved before the kids wake up."
Buck spent a nervous but ultimately boring day at home with Jee-Yun. Jee was happy to have her Unkabuk's undivided attention but she didn't like having to stay in the house. Since coming to live with Buck, Eddie and Chris, Jee had become a real social butterfly, liking to have people around her, both adults, Chris's friends or children her own age. She also loved to be outside, or at the park meeting new people.
About three o'clock Athena rang. "Chimney was seen crossing the state line into Arizona. He's now formally in breach of his parole but the Arizona police have decided on a watch and wait attitude monitoring his driving in the hopes of having a reason to pull him over. So far he hasn't broken a single traffic law, he's continuing to head East. It's him, his face as caught on camera," Athena reported.
"So, he's looking for Maddie," Buck said. "I'll email her and warn her he's headed East in search of her."
"I could have him arrested but not without alerting Anne that you called the police after she warned you. The car hasn't been reported stolen and Chimney could serve less than 6 months. Anne may not warn you again if a similar situation occurs when he gets out of prison again," Athena warned.
"Are you going to get in trouble for not putting a BOLO out for his arrest?" Buck asked.
"No, it's standard practice to wait until a perp has missed a meeting with their parole officer and Chimney met with them yesterday. I've already passed the report of him leaving the state on to his parole officer, it's their decision what to do from here," Athena replied. "You and Jee can go back to your normal routine."
"Chimney has taken off looking for you again. He's currently in Arizona heading east. He's in breach of parole so if you care about him you should call him and send him back to Los Angeles before his parole officer misses him. Jee is safe at home with me," Buck emailed to Maddie.
The message was delivered but there was no way to know if she read it, she didn't reply. He no longer expected her to. There was nothing else he could do. He and Jee went back to work, day care, swimming lessons and hanging out with the Lees, the Firefam, Eddie and Christopher.
Chimney was very careful to obey all speed zones and road rules on his trip to Boston, he didn't want to risk being pulled over again, and he sighed with relief as he crossed the border from Arizona into New Mexico. His phone had buzzed intermittently but he ignored it. Both of the Lee's had rung to beg him to come back home before he lost his job and violated his parole. Hen had rung a few hours later to abuse him for being so stupid and to demand to know where he was going and if he had proof Maddie would even live there.
He didn't bother to reply, he had no proof other than a strong gut feeling that Maddie would go to Boston to seek help for her PPD. The hospital where she used to work was affiliated with a facility with one of the best inpatient PPD programs in the country. It had upset him when he read that the duration of these inpatient programs was usually only a few months with a further 3 months outpatient follow up. There was no reason Maddie couldn't have come home over a year ago. He wondered what had stopped her. The only reason he could think of (that he let himself believe) was that Buck lied and told her he had permanent custody of Jee and she wouldn't be able to get it back? He was so angry with Buck that he nearly turned around to go and have it out with him but he reminded himself that he had no idea where Buck lived these days and he'd had no luck finding him alone anywhere. Besides he needed to get to Boston and find Maddie, he could deal with her little shit of a brother later.
-o0o-
Five months after Chimney's release, CPS contact Buck about reviewing and renewing the temporary custody arrangements for Jee-Yun Buckley Han.'
There was a warrant out for the arrest of Howard Han for breach of parole, but he had seemed to have ditched the car he left California in and had not been found.
Chimney was still in sporadic contact with Hen, who had told Athena she believed he was still in the Boston area, though he would not say where he was staying. He wasn't answering calls from anyone else, not even his brother who he'd accused of taking Buck's side. Hen suspected that he was only taking her calls because he trusted that she would tell him if Maddie returned to LA.
The most recent round of CPS home inspections had gone well, the social worker was impressed with Buck's organisation, the regular paediatrician visits with written instructions to follow up on. The fact that Jee-Yun was meeting or exceeding all of her developmental milestones and was clearly a happy and confident toddler, who not only spoke English clearly but also a smattering of both Spanish and Korean, sometimes all in the same sentence.
CPS were less impressed by the lack of contact with either of the birth parents but Buck was able to substantiate his attempts to contact both of them, and provide a record of the unanswered calls, texts and emails to Maddie, the number of visits to the prison that Chimney had declined because Buck or Eddie refused to let Jee go in unaccompanied, and the fact that Howard Han was currently in breach of his parole by leaving the state. The social worker had noted in his file that the lack of parental contact was entirely the fault of the parents and that Evan Buckley had gone above and beyond to attempt to keep in contact with them.
In the end, the court hearing was just a formality, especially considering that neither of the birth parents had chosen to attend, the only surprise was that instead of extending the temporary custody order as Buck and Eddie had expected the judge officially terminated Howard Han's parental rights and responsibilities and offered Evan Buckley and Edmundo Diaz permanent custody of the minor child, Jee-Yun Buckley Han, with the potential for them to adopt the child.
Buck sat for a moment before answering. "While nothing would make me personally happier than knowing that Jee-Yun is mine to bring up and love, and to be able to give her the security of a permanent home. I don't want to take away all of my sister's parental rights. It wasn't her fault that she was unwell when she left and given her boyfriend's reaction to her leaving she is potentially in hiding from him. I don't know if she will come back but if she does, I want Jee to have the opportunity to know her mother,"
"Permanent custody does not preclude the possibility of Maddie Buckley applying for and receiving visitation rights, even unsupervised visitation if she meets the prerequisites set out by the court last time, and she will still be your sister, and therefore will become Jee-Yun's aunt if you adopt Jee-Yun. There's no reason she would not get to know any child of yours if she wanted to," the judge reminded him. "Howard Han is also eligible to petition the court for the right to supervised visitation once he is no longer on the run from the law, but it is my judgement that he should not be granted unsupervised visitation since he has consistently over the past two years proved that he will not act in the best interests of the minor child Jee-Yun Buckley Han."
"Not accepting permanent custody now only means we'll be back here wasting the judge's time next year or the year after. Maddie's been gone two years Buck. She hasn't tried to talk to Jee-Yun or ask about her well being at all in that time. The chances of her coming back and putting in the work to regain custody is very slim even under the temporary custody agreement you have now. I can't see Chimney coming back and putting the work in to regain custody either and if he did, I'd be worried that he wasn't doing it for the right reasons. The grudge he has against you is as irrational as his driving need to search for Maddie without any idea where she has gone or how she's moved on in her life since she left," Eddie said to him.
"You love our granddaughter the way we want her to be loved," Anne Lee said eloquently.
"We would be grateful to know she will be your daughter. We only ask that you do not cut us out of her life," John agreed.
"I would never. Jee loves you. I couldn't take that away from her and I have no reason to want to. You have always been fair to me and good to Jee-Yun," Buck reassured them.
"That is why you should be the one bringing Jee up. You're the parent making decisions with her wellbeing in mind," John said.
"Jee is thriving under your care, Baby. She's felt safe with you from that first day in the car coming home from Flagstaff, even then the bond developing between the two of you was beautiful to see. Jee is your daughter in everything but name. Don't deny her now out of some misplaced loyalty to Maddie. If your sister were in her right mind she would want Jee to have the life you give her, and the security of a permanent custody arrangement," Athena said.
"You're a family, family belongs together," Bobby said simply.
"I'll do it. I accept permanent custody of Jee-Yun Buckley Han," Buck told the judge.
The Judge smiled and called him up to sign the paperwork. "As your permanent ward it will be your decision who would take custody of Jee-Yun in the event of your death or permanent incapacitation. I recommend you make a will allocating emergency and permanent custody as soon as possible."
"I'll have the papers drawn up as soon as you give me a list of names," Roger Fitzgibbons said.
"Eddie Diaz, then Athena Grant and Bobby Nash, then to be shared by Albert Han and Hen Wilson and Karen Wilson," Buck replied.
"Secondary guardians need to be appointed to prevent young Jee being placed in emergency foster care but there's no need to be hasty," the judge said.
"I'm not your honour. Eddie is as much Jee's parent as I am and I know that if I was gone or incapacitated she would be happiest with him and his son who she sees as her big brother, and that they would be devastated to lose her. Athena and Bobby are the parents I wish I had and they already see themselves as Jee's second set of grandparents. I would have chosen Anne and John Lee but their health prevents them from being able to be full time parents to Jee-Yun and I trust that the guardians I have chosen will allow them to remain part of her life. Hen and Karen Wilson are good people and great parents and foster parents, and Albert Han is nothing like his
brother, the three of them also already have an extended familial relationship with Jee-Yun. These are the people I trust most to bring Jee up to love life and be the best person she can be if I'm not able to do it," Buck explained.
"I trust there are no objections to Buck's choices?" Roger asked looking at the people named.
All of those named who were present, smiled and agreed, they'd be honoured to be considered on the list to provide emergency guardianship if required and that Eddie was the perfect first choice. Eddie also confirmed that Bobby and Athena were the people nominated to take custody of Christopher if something happened to both he and Buck so the two children would remain together.
"Make an appointment in the morning to sign the paperwork," Roger said nodding.
"We will," Buck and Eddie said grinning.
"Well it seems that you're ready to accept permanent custody of your niece and be a forever family. Be aware that permanent custody also includes the ability to apply to adopt the child if you so desire, whenever you're ready," the judge said warmly.
Buck looked hesitant. "Whenever you're ready," the judge repeated. "Best wishes for a long and happy life together."
"We will let the four of you celebrate as a family tonight. Come for lunch on Sunday and we'll have an official celebration," Bobby said.
"Hen isn't going to like this," Buck warned him.
"Hen wants what's best for that little girl as much as you do and a blind man can see the way you love and care for her," Athena said firmly, resolving to have a private word with Henrietta Wilson and her wife later that day to make sure she had her initial reaction out of the way and the tattered remnants of her blind loyalty to Chimney Han didn't prevent her from seeing that Jee-Yun deserved to stay with Buck and Eddie where she belonged.
Several hundred miles away Maddie Buckley looked at the court summons for the custody hearing for Jee-Yun Buckley Han, and felt guilty that it was happening without her but she was too afraid that if she attended the hearing, Howie would find her and follow her home. The fact that he was still so obsessed with looking for her after all this time frightened her. She hadn't wanted to believe that Howie was capable of punching Buck, let alone the level of violence the photographs, medical reports and his battery conviction suggested.
She also felt guilty about that. Not only had she abandoned Evan when she'd promised that she never would again, Howie had assaulted him because of her. Because she'd rung Evan, unable to bring herself to leave without saying goodbye to him, and she'd asked Evan to look after Howie and hadn't even thought about asking Howie to look after Buck.
She was a little surprised that Evan still had full time custody even though Howie had been out of prison for months now. She wondered what had happened. In the back of her mind she knew that there were at least half a dozen people could explain it to her if she contacted them and that most of them would be happy enough to at least hear that she was alright to explain without too many recriminations. She just couldn't bring herself to call them any more than she could bring herself to pack up and go back to Los Angeles for this court appearance.
She was in a good place now, emotionally. But it still felt precarious, like everything could come tumbling down on top of her again without any warning, and it felt like going back and seeing Buck and Howie and Jee-Yun would be too much for her. The truth was she didn't want custody of Jee-Yun, it still felt like she wouldn't be good for the little girl, particularly since she didn't think she could move back to Los Angeles so having Jee with her would mean removing the child from the rest of her support system, isolating the two of them again. Maddie had no doubts that Buck was doing an amazing job of looking after his niece, you only had to see all the photos on his Instagram to see that her daughter was thriving and happy.
Maddie had started looking at Buck's insta posts as a way to try to reconnect with her life in preparation for returning but it hadn't worked out that way. There was no mention of Maddie in his stories, no wishes that she was okay and that they were thinking about her. Nothing. Evan had given up on her. She was pleased to see them all doing well but it felt like they'd all moved on with their lives without her and Howie and she didn't think that she'd fit in if she did go back. Would Jee even want to see her, she didn't look like she was lacking a mother figure from the photos posted with Anne Lee, Pepa and Abuela, Hen and Karen or Athena and May. Would she even remember Maddie, Evan would know that, she had no doubt he spoke about her and showed Jee pictured of her Mom but would she be real to Jee? She remembered how quickly Evan had forgotten Daniel as a child. She remembered learning in nursing school that that was normal, Evan hadn't chosen to forget, his memories just weren't made to last yet before Daniel died and her parents had got rid of anything that could've reminded him or his brother. Jee was even younger than Evan had been when Daniel went into the hospital for the last time. She would've forgotten her even more quickly. Did she remember Howie, or did their little girl think that she'd always been with Buck and Eddie and they were her parents.
She wishes she could get back to the mindset she had when she was pregnant when the thoughts of her child caused feelings of hope and delight instead of dread and remorse. She was glad to see that Jee-Yun was doing so well from Buck's Instagram photos but the thought of getting back in touch and spending time alone with the little girl, of being responsible for Jee, filled her with a sense of foreboding.
The recent photo's of Jee-Yun reminded her of another thing she was curious about, had Buck and Eddie actually become a couple or had they moved in together for convenience. There was nothing romantic in any of their insta posts or stories, but maybe Eddie was just intensely private or in the closet and Buck was respecting that. if that was the case, she hoped her brother wasn't being hurt by it. If they weren't together, she wondered how they thought that would work, all of the girlfriends or even casual dates either of them had had since she'd known Eddie had been jealous enough of their friendship even without the two of them living together.
From the outside they looked like the perfect family. Maddie thought that even if she had had the courage to go to the hearing she would want Buck to keep custody of Jee-Yun, for her to grow up in the home Buck and Eddie were making for her and Chris. It was obvious from insta that the little girl adored both Eddie and Chris and they both seemed very fond of her as well.
Did she even want Jee to be with Howie? She did when she first left, and she'd been so sure Howie was a good father and a gentle and loving man. She'd accused Evan was lying when he told her about Howie punching him and neglecting Jee but then he'd been convicted of both those things. Proving that Evan couldn't have been lying, they wouldn't have convicted Howie without proof. Had her leaving really caused Howie to have a mental breakdown too? Had hitting Evan like that changed him, or had he always had that violence in him and she just hadn't seen it, hadn't done anything to trigger it yet, or hadn't wanted to see it? Could she trust him to look after their daughter? Would they give him custody? Or would Jee be better off with Evan and Eddie, Eddie was capable of violence as well but he'd never directed it at his son or her brother, she was sure of that. She didn't know what would be best, and she had to admit that even if she did she didn't want to go to Los Angeles and see everyone. Particularly she didn't want to stand up in court and ask them not to give custody of Jee back to her father and then disappear on all of them again. She couldn't do it.
Maddie sighed and got ready for work, she was a nurse/receptionist for a pair of dermatologists, she enjoyed her work, was grateful that it was relatively straightforward and undemanding. It was nice to know that no lives would depend on her. She'd made friends with the other full time receptionist, but their relationship was somehow shallow compared to the friends she'd left behind in Los Angeles and Boston. She wondered if the difference was in her, whether she just didn't have it in her to care about people the way she used to before the depression, or if it was the medication that prevented her from feeling anything as strongly as she used to.
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed, commented positively, followed, bookmarked or favourited or gave Kudos to this story for your support.