Please see the bottom of the chapter for important announcements!
In hindsight, the proper reaction to finding out her heart wasn't beating was probably anything other than what Natsuka did – which was to immediately think okay, so I'm definitely dead. She thought about how bizarre it was that she could still feel the rise and fall of her chest beneath her hand – this innate want to breathe despite clearly not needing to. Almost like her body's refusal to acknowledge her death, even when her mind did.
More importantly, she thought about how bizarre it was that she couldn't find it in her to cry (could she? even if she wanted to?). Perhaps it was because she had come to terms with her death while she had been dying. That she had already mourned her existence. Perhaps it was because it hadn't sunken in yet. Perhaps it was because it had sunk in far long before her heart actually stopped.
Natsuka Hakanai had been condemned to die the moment the words "Killing Game" left Monokuma's mouth. Almost all of her classmates had been.
Her next thought was of the others. The people that had still been alive when Natsuka had last seen them, turning in for the night to the still quietness of the halls. Did any of them die? Did they all make it? Was there an eventual end to the Killing Game? More questions swirled her in mind, piling up on top of the ones she had had when she first woke up.
Even if she was dead it certainly didn't answer why she was back, it didn't answer why it had apparently been 10 years since Natsuka had been alive. There wasn't a single answer to any of the questions she had, aside from whether or not she was dead.
In the back of her throat, panic began to set in. Not because she was dead, but because of whatever she was now.
Natsuka, save for the last few months of her life, had never really been one to think of what happened when people died. Whether or not there was an after hadn't been something she really cared to worry about.
In truth, she had always liked to see people's life like that of flowers. You grew, you bloomed, you died. You returned to the Earth and became a part of the soil, the nutrients for another life form. Living on in their roots, their petals, and the small speck of pollen blown away by the wind.
You most certainly didn't just reappear on Earth one day 10 years after dying.
Was she even a physical being? Was her body somewhere letting flowers take root in its bones, or was this fully her – every single cell and molecule that she'd ever been.
What was she even supposed to do? Was she doomed to wander the world for all eternity or would she fade out of existence.
The terrifying notions began to try and claw their way outside of her throat and she felt herself grow nauseous.
That was another funny thought. She wondered if she was even capable of throwing up. If she did, would the contents of her stomach still contain the last meal she ate 10 years ago? Natsuka imagined looking at the bile and pinpointing the cup of tea that she had drank right before she died. The very thing that had presumably killed her.
Before she let any more ideas overwhelm her, Natsuka stumbled towards a bench just a little bit in front of her and sat down, waiting for the feeling to return to her legs. It didn't help that the bench, just like the building now a little closer than before, was so undeniably in the style of Hope's Peak. Wooden and painted white, but oddly glossy and a little too clean. There were some cracks in the paint and traces of places where people had drawn or scratched their names into the slats, but overall it was very similar.
In an attempt to focus on anything but her own mind Natsuka traced the etchings and imagined the lives of the people who had put them there. Maybe other Ultimates, ones who were fortunate to go through the Hope's Peak system without any trouble. Maybe even some of her classmates had done it, carving a part of themselves into the bench as if to say I was here. Something of them that remained even when they died so unforgivingly.
Of course she knew the actual answer of 'who was writing on the bench' was tourists. The same ones milling around the building and walking in and out. The bench probably wasn't even actually from Hope's Peak, but if she pretended it was, she could close her eyes and act like everything was okay. Like she was dozing off under the sun on a lazy school day. And not in a Killing Game fighting to survive, or dead and so terribly out of place.
As she stared into space, someone sat down on the bench next to her. Natsuka turned to glance at the girl and once again felt this terrible shock course through her veins.
The girl looked like Natsuka.
Not in the way that she had similar facial features or maybe similar clothes, but she quite literally looked like Natsuka. She was wearing the same clothes as Natsuka – a white short sleeve shirt with a dark blue kimono style neckline underneath light blue corduroy overalls that were patterned with white flowers. Her hair was also the same, orangey peach in color and pulled back in two low fluffy pigtails that dipped below her waist. The only difference was that this girl's hair was far more stylized, and if Natsuka had to guess she would say it was a wig.
It was almost like this total stranger was cosplaying as Natsuka, which was in itself another terrible thought.
Natsuka opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, the girl pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, put one to her mouth and lit it with a lighter she pulled from her other pocket.
"God this fucking sucks." The girl mumbled to herself after taking the cigarette out and blowing the smoke from her mouth.
Natsuka blinked, trying to register the image of someone who looked exactly like her doing something she would never do, another dizzying experience piling onto her already swarming mind. It felt cruel, like the world was trying to push her to the brink. As if she wasn't already going through enough as a dead girl.
"Um, excuse me?" Natsuka managed to force the words out after pulling herself back out of her head.
The girl said nothing, still idly smoking and absentmindedly driving her left heel into the ground below her, pulling up grass and dirt, leaving an imprint behind.
"Hello?" Natsuka asked again.
If the girl could hear her, she was certainly doing a good job of pretending she couldn't. Something told Natsuka that wasn't the case, and she felt that sinking feeling beginning to reform in the back of her throat.
Carefully Natsuka waved her hand in front of the girl's face. Again the girl did nothing, and Natsuka watched in cold horror as the smoke from the girl's cigarette phased directly through her palm, sidestream unbroken.
Ah.
So she was fully a ghost.
Honestly she wasn't sure what she expected.
There had been part of her that – minutes earlier once she found out her heart was no longer beating – had hoped that she was a physical being. It would've made her life far harder, what with the identity of a dead girl, and no money to her name. But it would've meant she was still something on the Earth. A tangible person, and not just what remained of someone long deceased.
More than the remnants of flesh in the soil of a sapling.
The girl next to her finished her cigarette, grinding the butt below her platform sneakers, seemingly unbothered by the potential fire hazard where the ashes settled in the grass. She pulled another cigarette from the pack and had just put it to her lips when someone began to approach her from the distance.
"Hey Karin," they started as they came closer into view. It was a young man, perhaps in his twenties, wearing a classic Hope's Peak Academy uniform – a light brown suit with a white button up shirt and a red tie. There was a golden pin on his right lapel, engraved with the words "Questions? Ask me!"
"Anzu sent me to get you, it's almost time for the Ultimate Q&A so she needs you back."
Karin sighed and pulled the unlit cigarette from her mouth. "Are you fucking serious? I just started my break."
The man glanced down at the remnants of her last cigarette and made a skeptical face, but didn't say anything. "Listen, I'm just the messenger, and I don't think Anzu would appreciate it if you were a no–show for the event. Visitors would probably throw a hissy fit."
Karin gave a bitter laugh, "yeah well the visitors don't treat me that well anyways so it doesn't matter to me."
"It's not my fault you chose to audition for Natsuka Hakanai of all people."
Natsuka frowned, unsure what to make of the implications. What she could gather, at least, was that Karin quite literally was cosplaying as Natsuka. Maybe in a more professional setting, but the girl was intentionally using Natsuka's likeness. Add that to the list of horrors Natsuka had experienced in the past half hour or so of her life (or rather afterlife?).
"I didn't audition for Natsuka, I auditioned for literally any other female Ultimate, but Anzu said my eye color made me perfect for her." Karin pointed to her pale pink eyes, which made Natsuka suddenly conscious of the fact that they were the same color as hers. "Never thought my eyes would catch me so much shit."
The man shrugged, "a job is a job right? It's good acting experience for your resume regardless."
"You're just saying that 'cause you don't have to deal with what I do. Just wait until you're promoted to a full character actor and get stuck with –" Karin, seemingly on the verge of saying a particular name, stopped and pursed her lips. "Nevermind, it's not worth it."
Karin stood up and stared at the unused cigarette still in her hand and snapped it in half, dropping it on the ground and brushing the tobacco residue from her fingers onto her skirt. "Let's just get this shit over with."
The two of them began to walk back to the museum, leaving Natsuka alone on the bench. She looked down at the palms of her hands, so seemingly solid and living. Nothing still made much sense to her. She had felt the grass beneath her when she woke up, she was currently sitting on a bench and not phasing through it. Yet she was dead. More than dead actually. She wasn't even an actual being, it was almost like she was more of a concept than anything.
Natsuka was less real than someone just pretending to be her.
Someone who hated pretending to be her nonetheless.
Natsuka knew she needed to start answering her questions or she would fully ruin herself. There was no use sitting around stuck in her own head, no use wallowing in any pity. It wouldn't bring her back to life, and it certainly wouldn't help her explain her situation.
Standing up from the bench, Natsuka took a deep breath and headed towards the museum.
A/N: Hi everyone! I just wanted to drop in and post a little follow up chapter now that we're about 2 weeks out of the original deadline. There are some things I want to talk about regarding submissions and deadline changes!
First, I'd really love more dead Ultimate submissions in general. They're going to take up a lot more of the cast than the survivors, but at the moment I have more survivor submissions than anything. I know it's hard to craft a character just to kill them, but it'd be nice to get more submissions of any nature, talent, personality etc... Although I will say submissions so far have leaned predominantly female.
Regarding survivors, I've had a lot of wonderful submissions that allow me to request some things a little more specifically!
1) I'd love an Ultimate who fully takes advantage of the 'hype' surrounding the tragedy and exploits it and makes it a large part of who they are.
2) I'm looking for a survivor character with personal connections to Natsuka. This can be whatever you want – friendship, romance (regarding this one I do plan for Natsuka to be heterosexual), rivalry, enemies etc… but I'd like a concept like this, and I don't want to take up a survivor slot by crafting the character myself. I understand it may be a little hard since at this point you don't really know anything about Natsuka, but I am more than happy to answer questions. You are also welcome to go crazy, I can always tweak things to fit her backstory/personality.
– Of course, you are welcome to submit survivors however you want since I'm still keeping an eye out on submissions in general and not ruling anything out at this stage. But it'd be nice to get some of the above too.
Now onto deadline stuff – after looking at the fact that more people have been submitting survivors with less spots, and some people who have personally asked me about this, it's come to my attention that people may like the chance to submit their OCs as a deceased Ultimate should they not be accepted as survivors.
Rather than make you go through the hassle of filling out both forms at once (and apologies to you that have already done so), I am extending the deadline for deceased Ultimates past August 11th. The survivor deadline is still the same.
Basically, I will announce survivors first so that after that announcement, people have a chance to re–work characters that weren't accepted (or make new OCs) as dead Ultimates instead. The deadline for this will probably be a week or so after the survivor announcement chapter comes out. I'm not sure what that date will be, since I don't know for sure when the next chapter will be. But I will put it in the author's note of the next chapter.
That being said, if you have a pair of connected submissions where one is dead and one is alive, and I accept your survivor, don't worry! that means I have accepted the deceased character too. I'll make a roster of all currently accepted characters at the bottom of the next chapter just so it's clear. I'll also give a little note as to what I'm looking for based on the current acceptances.
I hope that makes sense, so the timeline looks like:
August 11th: Survivor applications close
August ?: Survivor roster (and any connected dead characters) announced
1 Week after August ?: Deceased applications close.
I want to provide you all the opportunity to submit all the characters you want too, and have a higher chance of getting in. But I recognize that it isn't possible if I have deadlines at the same time.
That's it from me for now! Feel free to reach out with any questions, next I see you will probably be the survivor announcement chapter, unless there are any deadline changes! Until next time :)