XI

The RAD film club did a monthly movie night. Marlene would drag Sirius along with her to them. She said that since photography and film were similar; it was his duty to attend them with her. Sirius had forced Remus to come along, so that he had someone to complain to.

"You don't know anyone from your film classes who can go with you?" Sirius whined. "They all have subtitles."

"What's wrong with subtitles?" Marlene scoffed.

"I can't focus on them."

"I'm your best friend. You have to," she said, sticking out her tongue.

They stood in the lobby waiting for the theatre to open. There was a group of people mingling around the area. This month had a pretty good turnout. More people started finding out about the screenings, drawing a bigger crowd.

They trickled into the room. The theatre was one of the school's lecture halls. The lights dimmed and then the film projected in front of the group. That night's screening was of a movie called 2 Days in Paris, a movie about a couple who argued for the majority of their vacation.

As Sirius sat in the dark theatre, he could feel Remus's arm pressed into his. He leaned in, whispering, "at least this one doesn't have subtitles." Remus shook his head, shushing him.

Sirius spent the entire duration of the movie, distracted by Remus. Their hands were so close together on the armrest. He could feel the energy building in the heat between their hands. His pinky finger twitched, wanting to reach out. He couldn't explain it. He felt they were drawn to each other. Sirius quickly crossed his arms over his chest. He was being silly. There was no way they were drawn to each other. Sirius knew these were unrequited feelings.

When the film was done, they all made their way back into the common area. People stood around talking about their thoughts on the movie. As the three friends walked out of the theatre, a girl from Sirius's lit elective, named Daisy, waved them over. She was standing with a girl that Sirius had never met before.

"Did you like the movie?" Daisy asked Sirius. Marlene stood, introducing herself to the other girl. Sirius overheard her say her name was Dorcas.

"Yeah…" Sirius said, watching Daisy play with her blonde hair. Remus was stuck standing between the two conversations. Sirius tried to bring him into the discussion by introducing him to Daisy, but she didn't seem interested in talking to him. He heard Marlene invite Dorcas to the floor party they were having in their off campus housing building later that week. Daisy looked at him expectantly, clearly wanting him to do the same.

"Uh… do you want to come too?" He said, feeling uncomfortable.

Daisy smiled brightly and slid her phone into his hadn't to get his number. "See you around," she said, as the group parted.

Remus scratched the back of his head. "I'm gonna go," he said in a clipped voice.

After he had walked off Marlene looked at Sirius, her brows pulled together. "What was that?"

"I don't know."

"James says you're hiding something," Marlene said casually.

"James is a nosey bastard."

"So, you are?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "No."

She squinted at him, raking her eyes along his face. "What are you doing?" He said, a nervous edge to his voice.

"Trying to read your mind."

"Why?"

"Because James is right," she said, putting her hands on her hips. "You are hiding something."

Sirius rubbed his temples. "Mar, please…"

"It's okay," she soothed, putting a comforting hand on his arm. "You can tell me when you're ready." Sirius got the distinct impression that she already knew about his crush. He was grateful that she wasn't pushing him.

On his way home, Sirius was worried about the way Remus had left. He had an uneasy feeling, so he text him.

Sirius: everything okay?

Moony: Yeah why?

Sirius: you seemed upset when you left

Moony: Who was that girl?

Sirius: just some girl in my lit elective

Moony: Why did you invite her to the party?

Sirius: idk i was just being polite i guess

Moony: Oh okay

Sirius and Marlene crowded around a rack of clothing at Marlene's favourite thrift store, The Ten Spot. Everything in the store was ten dollars. The store was in a basement warehouse. The large room had a low ceiling and loud garage rock, pumping throughout it. Sirius pushed hangers from hand to hand, sifting through the clothes.

"I hung out with that girl Dorcas the other day," Marlene said.

Raising his eyebrows, Sirius remarked, "she's cute."

"Shut up, dickhead," she bit back in a joking tone. "I was just trying to make conversation."

"Me too," Sirius laughed. "I am merely commenting on the cuteness of the girl you were hanging out with."

"I leave you to your own devices all the time," she said, her eyes narrowing. "Shall I bring up the cuteness of your friends?"

"Enough said." Sirius glowered at her.

"Speaking of cute friends of yours," Marlene mentioned, holding up a knit sweater. "Do you think Remus would like this?"

"I thought we weren't-"

"Do you think he would?"

Sirius looked at the sweater, tilting his head. It was a bright blue and white knit pattern. He looked at it, appraising the sweater. He could see why she might think he would like it. It was a large knit sweater that, in theory, would be his style. But when Sirius looked at the smaller details, he knew it Remus wouldn't like it. "Naw… I think the colour is too bright." His eyes dipped down to the rack. "This one!" He said, lifting a brown and navy chunky sweater.

Marlene opened her mouth to speak, but then suddenly lowered her hand into her pocket. She pulled out her phone, reading the screen. "It's Mason," she said, a crease forming between her brows. "I have to take this."

Taking the sweater to the cash, Sirius watched as Marlene left the shop to take the phone call. Marlene's brother, Mason, had substance abuse issues. Sirius had watched Marlene spend most of their teenage years trying to help him, begging him to get better. Now Marlene was seeing a therapist who helped her learn how to set boundaries with her brother. But she would always answer his calls. Marlene had explained it to him once. "Some people might say I am enabling him, but I am the one who has to live with it if he dies and I didn't answer."

When Sirius had paid, he climbed the stairs out of the shop and the two walked to a Starbucks at the end of the street.

"He asked me for money," she explained, running a hand through her hair. "I told him no," she said, sounding uncharacteristically small. "But what's he gonna do to find that money now?"

Sirius didn't know what to say. He and his brother Regulus had a difficult relationship, but he would do anything for him. If his brother called him, he would answer. He tried to put himself in her shoes. He didn't know if he would have the strength to do what she was doing. Sirius would have created a thousand scenarios, imagining all the horrible lengths he could go to when attempting to purchase drugs. He didn't know if he could handle that.

He was still searching for the right words to say and coming up short. For a moment, he wished he were James. He always knew exactly what to say. But James wasn't Marlene's best friend. She didn't need James; she needed him. Sirius's lack of grace with his words had never bothered her before.

Sirius reached out for her, tugging on her arm, pulling her into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin atop her head. "I'm sorry, Mar."

She leaned her head against his chest. As the barista dropped their drinks on the counter beside them, she gave them a look, causing Sirius to remember that they must look like a couple. But having Marlene there in that hug felt platonic. He never understood why people thought men and woman couldn't be friends. He found women attractive and objectively knew that Marlene was attractive. But he was attracted to men and could say the same thing about James. No one ever questioned his relationship with James, though. Some people were just meant to be your soulmates in a platonic way.

Marlene pulled back, eyes rimmed red. "Thanks."

As she scooped up her drink from the counter, she checked her watch. "We should go."