Prologue: An End

(Achtung! This prologue is no longer up to the same standard as the rest of the story as of the current state of editing. It can still optionally be read for those who desire to do so, but is not crucial to understanding the overall plot, and may be removed or reintegrated elsewhere at a later date.)

As it turns out, death is not exactly how I expected it to be. I was expecting something like endless light and clouds, with angels flocking about in massive formations. Or perhaps it would be a dark, sulfurous pit full of lava and folks with very pointy pitchforks. Reincarnation of some variety was also fairly high on the list based on my own experiences with the subject. So, I can confidently say that I was somewhat surprised. I mean, endless black void was several rungs down on my list of expectations; especially one in which I remained cognizant instead of simple oblivion.

Well, cognizant isn't exactly right. At least in the meaning of being clear-headed. While I could remember my past life and think this very monologue, everything was a bit fuzzy. The exact details of my death in particular were worse than most. All I could really call up were vague feelings of betrayal, disappointment, a hint of fear, and then a moment of pain.

Anything beyond that is lost to me. Perhaps an artifact of dying too fast to enter long-term memory? Although that would imply an interesting connection between my former meat-ware, and whatever the hell I am right now.

My sense of time is distorted as well, and I can't really tell exactly how long I have been here. I feel it may have been quite a while, but I don't really know for certain. In fact, I think I may have had this exact conversation with myself several times now, looping around as the memories get fuzzy and my boredom grows. Regardless, that is going into a bit of a tangent now.

I suppose the next most interesting thing to me was the noise, or rather, the complete and utter lack of noise. Even in the most silent of places you usually have your own breathing, your heartbeat, and the sort of vaguely indistinct buzzing of thought in the back of your skull. Well, I suppose that last one might just be Tinnitus, but you get the point. Here, there wasn't even that much. I couldn't even properly talk to myself like I used to do when I wanted to fill the silence or think through something complex.

I am idly wondering whether that all-encompassing oppressive silence is real, or a mere artifact of me lacking any ears to hear with, when I notice a barely perceptible change in the environment. The barest hint of light in the far, far distance flickering in and out of view. Accompanied by this is a subtle shifting of the tenebrous space around me, almost like a slight current in a lazy stream, or the false movement one sees when peering into nigh-utter darkness.

While difficult to tell the exact passage of time under the circumstances, it is what I would gauge to be several minutes after that when I notice that the light is getting closer. Or perhaps, that I am getting closer to it.

There is no inertia or sense of motion, but my vision implies to me that I am, in fact, moving towards the light. Not only that, but the speed of my approach is getting faster with every moment, as though it is pulling me in.

Perhaps this is the light at the end of the tunnel? If so then it would seem to be a bit tardy. Although maybe this was purgatory? The endless sensory deprivation meant to cleanse one of their Earthly impurities, rather than the fire speculated by many in the Middle Ages of Christendom. Or perhaps I was shuffled aside and lost in the great celestial bureaucracy, if such a thing exists. I suppose I shall have to ask if I have the opportunity.

The light is close now. A blinding white luminescence that was almost searing in its intensity, but strobing at regular intervals. I also began to hear again! A subtle piece composed of what I would guess to be piano and some kind of woodwind. Maybe a synthesizer. I'm not, wasn't, a musician, but regardless of my lack of musical talent it was quite nice. Soothing in a way. Doubly so given how long it had been since I heard anything at all.

Although, I was slightly offput by how it seemed familiar in a very vague sense. Like something I had heard at one point long ago, but forgotten the exact origin of. I eventually gave the effort up as not overly worth it given the other things to focus on, such as the rapid closing of the distance between me and the light.

I was slightly nervous as I began my final approach. This was compounded by a minor sense of unease caused by the music's familiarity, even if the song itself was quite nice. If not for my complete lack of a body compounding it with chemical reinforcement, I may have been much more than nervous. The light was so bright. I worried it might burn up whatever was left of me at this stage.

Thankfully, that is not what happened in the end. The light was, rather than scorching, pleasant. Like a refreshingly warm shower after a day shoveling snow. It made me feel as though all was right with the world, and that I was safe and protected. I was half hoping that I could stay here longer and just enjoy the sensation. It was much preferable to the endless blackness if nothing else.

After a moment the light dimmed slightly, and the music changed to a tune that was decidedly less soothing, although not altogether unpleasant. This had me worried again, as this music also seemed recognizable, although to a much stronger degree. It was right on the tip of my tongue, but that damnable fog in my head was making it impossible to fully place. All I could will up was a slight feeling of apprehension. Hope, mixed with potential horror. I was convinced that it either meant something really good, or really bad, and I could not tell which.

Suddenly, I was greeted by a stern and powerful voice, that projected steel and authority in equal measure, but it was not unkind. If I had to a give a comparison, I would say it was like that of a strict father or older brother guiding one to ensure they are prepared for future hardship. Or perhaps a stern teacher giving a lecture.

"Son of Man."
"You have been chosen for a most cruel fate."
"A world hangs in the balance, as it is battered by forces that seek its destruction."
"You shall be sent there, and given the strength to topple that balance."
"Your hardship and struggles will be great."
"However, this is not a punishment. All good things must come from hardship."
"You may choose as you wish, but your consequences are your own."
"Whether your future is dominated by Light, or Darkness shall be determined by the sum of your actions."
"And understand, I do what comes next not to harm you, but for your own good."

I am given barely a moment to process this before I can feel myself flung from the light's soft embrace. I am greeted by a cacophony of riotous color and horrific sound. The expanse of visual and audible noise is grinding to my very spirit, and if I spend too long looking I am certain that it will drive me mad. If anything I have seen could be considered Lovecraftian, this would be it.

The only thing I can possibly compare it to is one of those computer-colored images of distant nebulae and galactic superclusters, mixed with an abstract painting and magnified a thousand-fold. After an interminable period of adaption, I think I might be able to make out one or more creatures in the far distance, but it is impossible for me to truly tell.

My "enjoyment" of the relative peace of this new environment ends when I experience a sensation like a thousand meat hooks piercing my mind. They slowly peel it from the tender flesh of my soul, ripping it to tatters in the process. The pain is utterly indescribable as I feel the foggy remnants of my memories and cognition splintering at the seams. The sensation impossibly amplifies even further as I feel something forced *inside* the very core of my being. I can only silently howl in agony and hope for it to end.

By the time it finally does come to an end, I am nearly insensate, and can barely even string a coherent thought together before I am met by absolute nothing.