Seasons of Love

by Forever without him

When Alison DiLaurentis is thrust into a world of choices between obligation & loyalty she makes an impossible decision. After spending three years without Emily Fields, she sets out to prove to the brunette that she's worth loving. As looming threats from their past emerge and an unexpected tragedy unfolds, they learn to lean on one another. Canon-Divergent. Rating may change.

16. Ice Cold

A/N: There is a lot packed into this chapter, so prepare for a ride.

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Chapter 15:

Ice Cold

Nothing in Alison's life ever went according to plan. Not her childhood. Not her adolescence, as much as she liked to pretend she was in control when she was a teenager. And not in adulthood. The only thing that seemed to be going right was her relationship with Emily and her career trajectory. Her family life was still a mess.

She had been trying to reach Jason for months about Charlotte's threats. But she didn't get to have the conversation on her terms. The last message she had left for him she had been so utterly frustrated that she'd only snapped,

"Call me."

The robot voice had asked her if she was satisfied with her message as she played it back.

Alison growled under her breath and erased it and re-recorded,

"Call me…you prick." She lingered on the last two words angrily.

She felt satisfied, so she hung up.

He hadn't called her back.

Instead…she had seen him at the grocery store when she was shopping with Emily before Christmas.

And he wasn't alone.

She had caught a glimpse of his side profile outside as they were leaving the meat section.

Then she saw blonde hair whipping in the breeze.

She thought it was Charlotte. The notion that her sister was out sent chills down her spine.

But then the girl turned and Alison saw her face.

Sara Harvey.

The girl who had been helping Charlotte torture the girls in the Dollhouse. Charlotte had bankrolled her with a very hefty sum of money. She'd recruited her, because she'd run into her in another town. Sara was even bitchier than Alison was when she was a teenager. And Charlotte liked that.

Sara had been running away when Charlotte found her. The older girl had proposed a partnership. Charlotte might have been insane. But Sara was just greedy. She'd tortured people for money.

The last time they had seen her she'd been plotting to help Charlotte blow up a building with them in it. She was going to kill them.

Emily had decked the shit out of her. The power of the hit had sent her into live electrical wires.

Alison wished it had stopped her heart.

Seeing the bitch with her brother triggered several miniature explosions in her field of vision.

She swiveled her head around searching for where Emily had wandered off to.

After weaving through the busy Christmas crowds and pushing the cart around to the next aisle she saw her at the end of it staring at a selection of bread and then looking at her phone.

Emily had been double-checking to make sure she got everything her mother wanted, constantly looking at the list on her phone. It made shopping a little more difficult, because people were ruthless when they were shopping during the holidays. Alison had seen one woman elbow another to get the last frozen turkey.

Emily reached for a bag of French bread.

"Emily!" Alison quickly pushed the cart towards her.

She stopped it in the middle of the aisle, earning an annoyed scowl from a middle-aged woman with a blonde bob haircut and a young couple who were trying to get around her.

"Jason is outside…" She cut her eyes around the aisle, like she was afraid someone was going to hear her. She was too amped up to realize that no one was paying attention to her. The angry bob-haired lady had moved her cart to get by. Alison lowered her voice, "…he's talking to Sara Harvey."

"What?" Emily's face blanched.

She nearly dropped the bread on to the floor.

Emily preferred not to think about Sara. She had initially felt guilty about the fact that the girl had ended up in the hospital after she hit her. Sometimes she still did. She didn't like hurting people.

"Come on…" Alison grabbed the cart and moved back towards the front of the store.

Emily was right behind her.

By the time she got to the window where she saw them, they were gone.

Alison's jaw fell open as she scanned the parking lot.

"They…they were there. I swear." She blinked at her obscure reflection peering back at her from the glass.

"I believe you." Emily shuddered. "God, I can't believe I ever felt sorry for her."

If anyone had a reason to help Charlotte, it was Sara.

It confirmed Emily's suspicions. Everything was starting to make sense. Logically, it was impossible for Charlotte to leave the Psychiatric facility. She couldn't physically stalk them or deface graves.

But Sara could.

Alison saw movement out of the corner of her eye.

"There!" She pointed to his car. She tugged on Emily's arm as she watched it peeling out of the parking lot. "We have to go after him."

Emily looked at the shopping cart and then out into the parking lot.

It took her half a second to decide that Alison's life was more important than a shopping list. They could easily come back to the store. Even if they weren't able to get everything, it would be worth it if Alison had the chance to talk to her brother.

Alison was holding out hope that he was going home. That's what people did after they bought groceries.

She was going to feel like an asshole if he wasn't there. They would have left the store for no reason if that was the case.

When they pulled on to her street Alison saw lights on inside. There was movement coming from inside.

"Stop the car." Alison gasped.

Emily tapped on the brakes.

"He's actually here." She stared at her house in disbelief. "I have to talk to him."

"You want company?" Emily stared at her in uncertainty from the driver's seat.

"Normally I would say yes, but I don't want you to have to testify in a court of law against me after witnessing what I'm about to do to him." Alison curled her hands into tiny fists of fury.

"You just implemented me by telling me." Emily pointed out.

"Hearsay." Alison waved it off.

"True." Emily nodded. "Plus if it comes down to it we could just get married so I don't have to testify. Spousal privilege."

"Emily Fields, that is no way to propose a marriage." Alison forgot her anger for a brief moment. But then she turned back towards her house and her emotions were boiling over again. "I'll be okay. Just go back to the store and get what's on the list." Surely their cart had been scavenged by now. "Hopefully the masses haven't cleared the shelves yet."

Alison tugged on the door handle before Emily had a chance to say another word. She watched as the blonde stormed up her driveway and made her way on to the porch.

Somewhere between the first step and reaching the front door her phone had bumped up against her and hit Emily's contact photo, sending the call to the brunette.

Emily knew it was a butt dial, but she picked up anyway.

All she heard on the other line was the phone rubbing against Alison's clothing and the loud pounding bangs as she hit the front door.

Alison wasn't sure what to expect, but she was caught off-guard when Jason unlocked and opened the door.

"Alison?" His brow was crinkled in confusion.

His piercing blue eyes that had gotten him out of all kinds of trouble were cold and distant. He had a tiny bit of stubble that indicated he clearly hadn't shaved when he woke up. His hair was long and wavy. He'd let it grow out quite a bit.

She looked at him and remembered flashes of her childhood that hadn't sucked. She remembered being three years old and Jason pushing her on the swing and encouraging her. She remembered being five and Jason coming to her defense when some mean little shit in her class had pulled her hair on the playground. She remembered being seven and having a bad dream and crawling into his bed because she was scared.

It almost made her want to hug him.

But then she remembered her purpose for bombarding him.

"Why were you with Sara Harvey?" Alison shot him an accusatory glare.

The confused expression on his face was slowly replaced by ferocious anger.

"Jesus…were you following me?" He gripped the side of the door so hard that his fingertips turned white.

His reaction only emboldened her. Like she didn't have a right to demand why he was ignoring her and conspiring with one of their mortal enemies?

"Following you is apparently the only way to get you to talk to me." Alison crossed her arms over her chest and huffed in irritation. "I saw you two at the store. Is she here? Did you bring her back to our house?"

"It's not your house anymore, Ali." But he left the door ajar so she could follow him in.

"Well hello to you, too…" She walked in and slammed the door behind her.

She followed him into the kitchen.

He turned to face her, standing with his chest puffed out defensively.

"Thanks for checking in on me. I'm doing just fine." Her tone was oozing with sarcasm. "I thought you were dead."

He rolled his eyes.

"Being dead is your thing."

For some reason, that pissed her off. She had been scared. She hadn't let people think she was dead on purpose. Their mother had covered for her murderer. She had been a child. He was a full grown ass adult who had inexplicably disappeared without a trace.

She closed the distance between them and sized him up. She wasn't afraid of him. Not anymore.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to call you." She smacked her palm against his broad blocky chest, shoving him angrily.

"I lost my phone four months ago at a job overseas. Had to get a new number." He held his hands up passively, but it didn't stop Alison's rage. She shoved him again. "Would you stop that?" He gently grasped her wrists.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Alison ripped her wrists away and started hitting him again, not hard enough to hurt him, just hard enough to let her emotions out.

Jason's lips quirked in uncertainty.

"I have no clue what you're talking about. I have been out of town for months. I just got back to two days ago. I had been meaning to make it back for Wayne's Fields' funeral, but it didn't happen. I was sad to hear about that though. It's a shame. And…it kind of made me think about mom. How hard that was for us…" He drifted off.

Alison's anger slowly dissipated, but then she remembered what she and Emily had been going through the past several months.

"Well, gee, if you were grieving for our dead mother why wouldn't you think to pick up the phone and call your sister? You aren't the only one who lost her, you know." She turned her nose up at him.

"I told you, I was gone. And I didn't think you'd want to hear from me. Isn't that what you said when you left? I hope I never see you again." He threw her words back at her.

"I was angry! Siblings fight, you dumbass." She growled.

"Well…maybe I was angry, too." His face reddened.

Alison was ready to cut him with a another angry retort, but something dawned on her.

"Wait a second. If you've been gone…who the hell is watching Charlotte?" Her muscles tensed and an aching sensation filled her head.

Jason looked at her, perplexed…almost like she'd lost her mind.

"Uh…Welby. That's what they're paid for…"

"Oh my God." She grabbed her temples and shoved her fists against them, fighting back a fit of maniacal laughter. He hadn't been around in months. Sara Harvey was running free. "What were you doing with Sara?"

"She needed a ride to her apartment. It's on the way home." He shrugged it off, as if he wasn't betraying her and all of her friends by being nice to Sara.

She lived in Rosewood? Rumor had it she had split town after she got out of the hospital. Why would she be back in town if not for Charlotte?

"Why is she talking to you at all?" She was going to lose her mind if her brother was conspiring with her sister.

That was the only reason that she could think of for Sara to be talking to him.

"She came to check on Charlotte." His face softened, and it infuriated her.

He still loved Charlotte. He was still defending her.

"Stockholm Syndrome much?" Alison looked at him like he was a complete idiot, which he was. "You shouldn't trust Sara. She may have lied her ass off to save herself jail time for helping Charlotte, but she was torturing the girls in that Dollhouse, too."

"Charlotte manipulated her like everyone else." He argued.

"You're truly as dumb as I always thought you were if you believe that." Alison sniffed. Her face was hot from her anger. "She has been stalking us for Charlotte. You tell her to stay the hell away from us."

"That's a reach." Jason offered a hand to steady her. "Do you think maybe you're overreacting a little bit?"

She was so mad she was shaking. She swatted his hand away.

"She's been calling me, Jason!" Alison screeched. "Messing with my life…"

He rolled his eyes like she was being an overdramatic teenager.

"That's impossible. They don't allow phones in Welby. You know that."

"If she has Sara on her visitation log I can guess exactly how she'd be able to get burner phones." It wasn't Alison's first time dealing with a psychopath.

If it looked like a duck and quacked like a duck then it was a fucking duck.

Sara could easily be slipping Charlotte information and phones. Charlotte was smart enough to know how to get away with that.

"Do you realize how insane you sound right now?" Jason leaned against the counter. "If you're getting calls it's probably because you whore yourself out all over social media. Hollywood comes with a price."

"This person knows things that none of my fans know. They have recordings of the past." Alison argued.

"That shit is so easy to find." He laid his palm against the counter, like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Do you even care that someone is out to get me?" Her hands were shaking by her side. She felt like throwing a punch at him.

"No one is out to get you. You're being paranoid. You used to do this all the time when you were a teenager."

"Because someone was out to get me!" Alison yelled. "God, you're an idiot."

"So nice for you to come all this way with that sentiment. It's nice to see you, too, sis." He scoffed.

"You don't care about me. I'm not your sister anymore." Her fury hit a boiling point.

She slammed a fist into the wall, yelping and yanking it back after the pain hit.

For a moment, his face softened, but then he looked at the damage to the wall and frowned.

"Stop. Hitting. Shit. I'm trying to get this place fixed up."

"You abandoned me…for her!" Alison yelled.

"You didn't leave me a choice."

"She's not going to get better. You're wasting your time. And you've become completely consumed by her. I could really use your fucking support here. She's not the only sister you lost." Tears burned Alison's eyes. "You always chose everyone over me. Spencer. Charlotte. But you're my brother, too, Jason." Tears spilled down her face. "Do you know how hard it's been without you?"

She was so mad at herself for crying. She didn't even realize she missed him that much…that she cared.

He seemed startled by the presence of her tears.

"You're the one who took off."

"So? That doesn't change the fact that you should have had my back! After everything Charlotte did…"

"You weren't a saint either. And I forgave you." He lifted his hand and gestured to her.

"I never killed anyone. I never kidnapped people and tortured them for fun."

"But you played your own games." He pushed up off of the counter, trying to appear larger.

"SO DID YOU!" Alison shouted. "You and your stupid NAT friends. Do you know that Ian tried to force himself on me one night at one of your parties?"

He nearly toppled over. For a second Alison thought he was going to pass out.

"What?" He looked like he was torn between shock and fury.

"Did you really not know?" Alison read the innocence in his eyes.

He had no clue.

"Christ, no…" He reached for her again, but she pushed him away again. "I was so drunk. If I had any idea…"

"You didn't do me any favors…having me star in your gross little porno flicks with my friends." She saw the blow land.

He looked like the wind had been sucked out of him. Alison didn't talk about their club of pervs much. Jason seemed sincerely sorry, but it didn't excuse what he'd done.

"I told you I was sorry about that…"

"Don't start." Alison held her palm up to cut him off. "You're the reason all the grown ass men in this town sexualized me. I knew I couldn't count on you back then. I was lucky Spencer was home that night. After I got away from Ian I snuck off to her place to hang out with her and Emily. And they were there for me. You were never there for me." She shoved Jason. "I was a kid. You were my big brother…"

"Ali…she was a kid, too. An innocent 5-year-old kid. And don't you dare lecture me on being there. I came back…after everything…after you disappeared…and after mom…"

"But you didn't stick around for me. You never do. You've always picked everyone else over me." She clawed at her throat, fighting back her anguish. "What did I do to make you hate me so much? Why do you love Charlotte more than you love me?"

"Is that what you think?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to say here. She's our sister, too."

"She's a fucking monster! Do you know what she did to my friends?"

"You were the one who didn't want to give up on her." He was exasperated, and nothing he said was the right thing to say.

"Well, I was wrong."

He paused and considered how to approach his little sister. She was right about all of it. He knew she was right. She had a reason to be angry. But the one thing he couldn't agree on was abandoning Charlotte.

"You know she threatens to kill herself every day that she's locked up? She's been on suicide watch more times than I can remember." He seemed drained just mentioning it.

Alison didn't respond at first. She wasn't sure how to respond. Part of her would be relieved, but the other part of her…the tiny sliver of her that still felt sympathy for her sister would never forgive herself.

"Really?" Alison felt something tugging at her heart for a fraction of a second.

It was impossible for her to wish death on someone, even if they deserved it. She knew what death felt like. She still experienced it in her nightmares.

"She's really struggling…" Jason sighed.

"You know who else is struggling? Her victims. I wouldn't be surprised if her threats are nothing but empty thin-veiled attempts to get out so she can play her dumb game again."

"Have a little compassion. I know you're not that heartless." He begged.

"Jason, do you understand what she did to them?" Alison's heart clenched in her chest when she thought of the nightmares that Emily had. She knew what was in those nightmares now. "Hell, she tortured me too…and I'm her sister. She tried to kill me. When I got back to town she played with me. She sent me a fucking video of mom being buried!"

"She denied that. She was as devastated about mom dying as we were…"

"She's a serial liar. A sociopath." Alison violently shook her head.

"Then why did you stay for three years?"

"I don't know!" She was screaming and shoving again.

He let her. Her fists barely made a dent in his tone muscular chest.

It was only when he realized she was hurting herself that he wrapped his arms around her.

The beating stopped. She let him hug her. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. They stayed locked in the embrace for several minutes.

"Feel better now that you got that off of your chest?" He asked.

"No." Alison pulled back, wiping her angry tears from her cheeks. She peered at her big brother. "So what now?"

There was a pregnant pause. Then Jason sighed.

"I can't give up on her…"

"She's never going to change." Alison couldn't believe he was so stubborn.

"You did." He didn't say it with malice. He looked proud, which hurt worse. Because Alison knew there was no normal for Charlotte.

"That's different. I feel remorse. She never has." Alison's guilty conscience kept her up some nights.

She knew Charlotte slept like a baby.

"That's ridiculous. You can't know that. You can't possibly know how she feels…"

"She doesn't feel anything!" Alison angrily ran her fingers through her hair, her fingertips becoming tangled. "Do you have any idea how often I look at myself in the mirror and hate who is looking back at me? I see all the pain I caused others. I see the manipulative little shrew…the bad seed. I see how unworthy I am. I think about the lives I disrupted every single day. It doesn't matter how dressed up I am or how beautiful my reflection is. I'm pretty on the outside, but deep down I'm a monster, too. Or I was one. And I recognize other monsters. Charlotte doesn't have the capacity to change."

It wasn't Charlotte that he latched on to this time.

"You really feel like you're a monster?" Jason looked hurt by the suggestion.

Apparently he did care.

"The only thing worse than a monster with no feelings is a monster who develops feelings." Alison leaned against the counter, exhausted. "I know who I was. I know what I did. But unlike Charlotte…I care. It haunts me. I know you care about her. And in some fucked up ways…so do I. But I know she would slaughter every last person in her way if she had a path to freedom."

"That's kind of harsh." His eyes narrowed.

"It really isn't. She said as much."

"She was angry. And hurt." It crushed Alison to hear him defend their sister. "You said it yourself, siblings fight."

"Not like that." Alison shook her head.

"It's different for her, and you know it."

"You keep telling yourself that. In the meantime she is ruining my life. She's ruining my sanity. Doesn't that count for something?"

Jason's face softened.

"Of course it does." For the first time since she'd walked in he dropped his indignant expression. "I'm doing my best. You walked away, and I understand that. I really do. But…Ali…I remember her. I remember laughing and playing on the playground and…I have real memories that I'm trying to work through. Mom and dad took away my best friend and lied to me about it my entire life. I thought I was crazy."

"Maybe crazy is a qualifier to belong to this family." Alison uttered.

To her surprise Jason chuckled.

"Mom and dad really fucked us up, huh?" He scoffed.

Alison let a dark laugh out.

"Yeah."

An alarm started beeping from somewhere.

Jason walked over to where his phone was sitting on the table and tapped the screen.

"Listen…we need to have a longer conversation about this." Jason grabbed a tumbler and filled it with a green slush of vegetables he'd bought in smoothie form at the store. "But now is not a good time." He glanced at the clock. "I have to get to a meeting. Are you free for lunch this afternoon? Around 1:30?"

Alison didn't say anything. She walked over to where he was standing and picked up his phone.

She tapped on the screen, pulling up her number and sending his new number to hers with a text. She put the phone down and faced him.

"Watch your back, Jason. She'll turn on you, too. Just know that when she does…"

"You'll tell me I told you so." He rolled his eyes.

"No. I'm not that person anymore. When she turns on you…I'll be there for you. Because we're family. No matter how angry I am at you…you will always be my big brother."

She didn't say goodbye.

He didn't either.

She walked through the living room towards the front door. When she pulled the door open she was surprised to find Emily sitting on the bottom step. She was bundled up in her coat, but she looked like she was freezing.

"You stayed." Alison met her at the bottom step.

"Of course I stayed." Emily searched Alison's eyes, finding the pain and rage and grief she expected to find in them. "I wouldn't leave you to deal with this on your own."

She reached for Alison's jacket pocket and pulled her phone out, revealing the screen that had been feeding her back the audio the entire time.

Alison cringed. She wasn't exactly proud of her behavior.

"You heard." The blonde bit her lip.

Emily nodded.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was going to hang up. It sounded like it was private, but I was worried he was going to lose his temper. I know how he is when he loses his temper. I haven't forgotten. He almost bashed you over the head with a hockey stick."

That explained why she was sitting on the porch. She wanted to make sure Jason wouldn't hurt her.

"He's usually only like that when he's drinking. I don't think he's drinking again. He looks healthy. He's well-kempt and eating right. I could be wrong though." Her eyes slowly bounced between the house and the car. "We should go."

Emily nodded and took her hand, silently walking with her to the car.

Emily climbed in the driver's seat as Alison was buckling her seat belt. She had her phone in her hands, fiddling with it. Emily could see from the angle that she was checking her socials. She was careful never to post her location when she was in Rosewood, but she shared other things. Selfies, pictures of food, scheduled posts that were in her que.

She used it as an escape when things were too hard. They both knew that. Alison had admitted it to her. But it was like a security blanket, and it did make her genuinely happy sometimes. She got to inspire people. And she liked that.

Emily waited on Alison to prompt her. If she wanted to talk she would have said so by now. Instead she was burying herself in the likes and comments to make her feel validated.

"We should go back to the store before all the crazies buy everything your mom needs." Alison mumbled, staring at her phone.

"My mom can take care of it. I'll text her. She'll understand." Emily started the car. "I imagine you've got a lot on your mind because of that lunch."

"Wow, you really did hear everything." Alison pried her eyes away from her phone, a little bit of fire back in her eyes.

"I thought maybe you could use a drive to clear your mind. Always helps me." Emily tapped a message to her mother and sent it and then tugged on the gear shift.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Just enjoy the ride." Emily cast a sideways glance at her, a smile tugging at her lips.

Alison didn't question her. She took the brunette's suggestion and watched as the town passed her by. There was a thin layer of snow covering her childhood home.

When they started climbing in altitude the snow got a little bit thicker. It had accumulated on the bare trees, forming a small layer of white dust which added to the grey atmosphere. The clouds loomed above them, sending flurries down. The snow lightly sprinkled the windshield.

The curves in the road were familiar to her. So when Emily pulled the car off the road and into a clearing she knew exactly where they were.

She peered at the famous boulder, which was visible because the trees were bare. In the spring and summer luscious greens covered The Kissing Rock.

Emily put the car in park and turned the ignition off.

"It's a little too cold for a hike out there. But I thought this was close enough." She pulled her door open.

Alison did the same. Emily met her as she was climbing out, offering her hand to the blonde. Alison took it.

"This is really sweet." Alison looked up at her, an appreciative smile on her face. "Thank you."

She didn't even have to tell Emily what she needed. The brunette just knew.

The snow smelled fresh and crisp. The wind lightly blew her hair in the breeze. Emily wrapped her arm around Alison, pulling her into her body.

"He said some really shitty things to you." Her arm tightened around Alison protectively.

"I said shitty things back. It's how we communicate." Alison mumbled, turning to face her. "We never did learn how to have a proper conversation without screaming."

"You were wrong, you know." Emily's forehead was creased in concern.

"Huh?" Alison couldn't even begin to fathom where she'd screwed up so much that Emily was calling her out.

"You're not unworthy." Emily whispered, reaching up to push a tendril of Alison's hair out of her face. "And you're not a monster." She stroked Alison's cheek.

"How can you possibly know that?" Alison looked down sadly.

Her fight with her brother had torn her self-esteem to shreds. She didn't have it in her to fight with her normal spirit.

"Alison…" The brunette's voice was so soft, so full of love. "I have loved you for the longest time. I know you. I know the woman that you are. And you are nothing short of a beautiful wonderful miracle." She pulled Alison close. "I wasn't sure…when I went to Malibu…I wasn't sure I would ever be happy again."

"What do you mean?"

Alison had seen several pictures of Emily's life, mostly interpreted by beautiful scenery. She always seemed to be a woman who knew what she wanted. And she had seemed happy and well-adjusted when they'd run into each other on the beach.

"I found things that fulfilled me. But it wasn't until you found me that I was truly happy. And when I put my arms around you that day…I knew. I had missed you so much. I spent so much time just talking to myself…wishing that you were talking back to me…and then you were there."

"I needed you so much. I shouldn't have shut down." She nuzzled against her girlfriend's chest.

"I needed you, too. And when you showed up on that beach all defiant and determined…" Emily chuckled, "…it felt like fate." She licked her lips and her eyes lost some of their light. "I was scared at first. I thought that we'd only break each other's hearts again. I didn't feel like it would last…but I was wrong. You made me realize…I had to take the chance."

"I was afraid you'd never love me again after you left. I was afraid you'd forget me." Alison admitted.

"Never." Emily huffed. "I could never. The first time I held you I remembered just how much I missed you. I forgot how nice it was to be in your arms. Even though it had been three years and I didn't know who you were after our years apart…I knew you were a good woman. That was enough for me to dive in."

"Literally." Alison cracked a genuine smile and then laughed for the first time since she'd spotted Jason and Sara. "My favorite Baywatch Babe."

"So…are you finally admitting you needed my help that day on the beach?" Emily bumped her shoulder against Alison's.

"Of course not." Alison's cheeks and ears ripened into a dark shade of pink. "I just thought it would be a good way to get noticed by someone beautiful and have them take me home and ravish me."

Emily stared at her, blinking blankly for a few seconds.

Then she burst into laughter.

"You are so full of shit."

"Hey, I'm sexy. Don't underestimate this." Alison gestured to herself. "I could have had anyone on that beach."

"And humble." Emily teased, kissing the top of her head.

Their conversation was exactly what she had in mind to cheer Alison up. The blonde was at her best when they were having a good time together.

"And incredibly incredibly lucky that you dragged me out of that water kicking and screaming." Alison traced her finger against Emily's jaw. She gripped Emily's chin with two fingers and tilted her cheek until her lips were in kissing distance.

The warmth of Emily's mouth was a stark contrast to the frigid temperature.

When they pulled apart Emily was deep in thought. Alison could see something brewing behind her eyes.

She had no idea what Emily was going to do for her.

All Emily could think about was the fact that Alison had gotten hurt in that Airbnb because she hadn't pushed Alison to stay with her. Her instincts had been right about those boys. And she knew her instincts were right about Charlotte.

"What's wrong?" Alison asked.

"I wish I had insisted on you staying at my condo instead of letting you go with those assholes on the beach that day." Emily pursed her lips.

"I wanted to, but I didn't want to seem too eager." Alison admitted. "I felt something spark inside of me the second I looked into your eyes. And I was a little scared of it. I spent three years missing you because I was too stubborn to just be your friend. And I was so afraid of losing you again. And I was…ashamed."

That seemed to startle Emily.

"Ashamed of what?"

"That I wasn't a good friend to you because I was here with her." Alison sneered at the thought of her sister.

"You were conflicted. And hurt." Emily rubbed her shoulder.

"I know. But seeing you for the first time in three years…I had no idea what to say about her." She paused, considering something about their meeting on the beach. "Is that why you didn't ask about Charlotte that day?"

Emily's gaze tracked away from her and over the beautiful landscape. She took a breath and when she breathed out the air fogged up around her, the wispy trails of the heat dissipating into the sky.

"I knew it was going to be hard for you to talk to me about her." She slowly nodded.

Of course.

Thoughtful Emily.

"I didn't think she'd follow me there." Alison frowned. She had been so wrong. "She's really fucking with my head." She huffed out a sigh.

"I know." Emily was fuming underneath her calm demeanor.

She planned to put a stop to that in a few hours. Now that she knew the truth about Sara she could use that against Charlotte.

She had considered telling Alison the truth, but knowing the blonde she would fight to go in with her and get them both kicked out. Or she would try to convince her not to go in alone.

Emily had struggled with the secret ever since she'd taken upon herself to do it.

The only decent thing that had come out of Alison's fight with Jason was that Emily didn't have to make up an excuse or lie to her about where she was going. Alison would be at lunch with her brother while she was ripping into Charlotte.

Alison had a lot to work through with Jason. Emily wasn't sure they would find any middle ground, but she hoped for Alison's sake that they did.

Alison had a lot on her shoulders, and Emily hated the idea of adding to it. But she knew she eventually had to come clean about her visit with Charlotte.

"I…" She started to say something, but then Alison turned towards her.

"This is just the peace that I needed." Alison clutched her hand. "Thank you."

When Emily saw the serene expression in her eyes she realized it was a terrible time to mention her plan. So she just leaned forward and kissed her.

Emily watched the memories of their past flash through Alison's mind as she peered at the boulder in the distance.

After a few minutes of admiring The Kissing Rock from afar they climbed back into the car where it was warm and enjoyed the view for a little while longer.

Alison was finally starting to shed her bad mood when her phone went off.

She grunted. Even though she had given Jason her number to text her about lunch she knew it was too early to be hearing from him.

She knew who it was from before she even looked.

How's our brother, sis?

Alison scowled at the screen.

"I fucking hate her." She put the phone down with its screen facing down.

"You going to show Jason the messages?" Emily asked.

"He doesn't believe me. He thinks it's just a troll. He doesn't know what she's actually capable of." Alison was just as mad at Jason as she was at Charlotte.

"Hearing about it and seeing it are two different things." She reached out and touched the blonde's knee. "He won't be able to deny what he sees."

It couldn't hurt to have Jason on their side. He could take Sara off the visitation list. Cut it off at the source if she failed to make Charlotte stop. It's not like she could ask Caleb to remove Sara from the visitation list. Sara would just call Jason and that would blow Caleb's cover.

"You underestimate his ability to be the most stubborn arrogant tool in the world." Alison slumped in her seat. "He'll play the messages off as just some rando messing with me. The idiot can't even tell that Sara Harvey is playing him for a fool."

"I wouldn't say any of this at your lunch if you want him to listen. It's clear he feeds off of your anger."

Emily had a point.

"Yeah, the asshole really does know how to piss me off." Alison nodded. "He probably thinks I'm in hysterics about nothing. Or that I'm losing it. I'm pretty sure he thinks I belong in Welby with her."

"We both know you don't." It was agonizing for Emily to watch Charlotte destroy Alison the way she'd destroyed her friends in the Dollhouse.

The psychological torture was worse than the physical torture. Scars healed. But broken souls couldn't be completely pieced back together. Not the way they had been before.

"You can tell him." Emily reached up and gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. "About what he did to me in the Dollhouse. Leave the others out of it. Their trauma is not mine to share. But if he needs a baseline of how bad it was…tell him everything. How she drowned me, waterboarded me, beat me, made me try to lure you there, nearly killed me, made me watch as she tortured my friends. All of it."

Alison saw a switch flip in the brunette. She was agitated and jumpy. Visiting her past wasn't easy.

She reached up and touched Emily's right hand. It immediately loosened from the steering wheel.

"Tell him how she would blare the alarms and leave us in the dark for so long that flashing lights hurt our eyes. How she made us choose who didn't get food and water. How she starved us. How she dehydrated us to the point of death before finally bringing us back to the brink of life. That she treated us like lab rats…"

Alison flinched. She already knew it all, but it still pained her to hear about it. She wished she had understood the severity of Charlotte's actions three years ago. But no one told her what she'd actually done. Of course, it was bad enough that she kidnapped them and held them in an underground bunker. But Alison didn't know the horrific games she'd played with them. She should have known, but she was blinded by sadness and confusion and anger.

"I wish that would change his mind, but I know it won't. She has him completely wrapped around her finger." Alison sighed. "Hell, she tortured him too and he still refuses to acknowledge it. She tried to cut you both in half when she cut those elevator cords with you two in it. She literally sent him to the hospital and chased him out of town. But he can't let go of his childhood."

"Keep trying." Emily reached out and touched Alison's knee again, earning a smile from her. Alison loved it when the brunette was touching her.

Supportive Emily.

Optimistic Emily.

Alison's eyes drifted back towards the snow-covered scene around them.

"How did you know you could see The Kissing Rock from here?"

"I begged my mom to drive me around and help me look for you after you went missing. We drove by it all the time in the winter." A solemn expression washed across her features. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too." Alison glanced at Emily's hand on her knee and then placed her fingertips on top of it.

Emily leaned over the console and Alison met her halfway, their lips brushing together in a light kiss.

Emily had a crooked smile on her face when they pulled apart.

"It's not the same as being out there on that stupid dusty old rock, but I'll take it." She turned the keys in the ignition.

Emily wanted to do a little more sightseeing of their town.

Alison didn't mind. She was along for the ride.

She wasn't aware that Emily was also driving around to try and stay levelheaded for her visit with Charlotte.

It was a stroke of luck that Alison's meeting with Jason overlapped with her visit with Charlotte. After they got home Emily felt her nerves bunching in her stomach, but she pushed them away and focused on Alison. She knew the blonde was worried about her visit with her brother.

Alison's anxiety was bad enough that Emily asked her if she wanted her to stay with her at lunch. She'd find some other time to see Charlotte if Alison needed her, but Alison told her that she needed to talk to her brother alone.

So when Jason texted,

The Grille? Half an hour?

Alison responded,

See you there.

She looked up from her phone.

Pam was sitting in Wayne's chair, crocheting together what looked like a black beanie. It made her feel safe and warm.

"Was that Jason?" Emily was seated on the couch next to Alison. Her feet were up on the ottoman.

"Yeah. He wants to meet me at The Grille in half an hour. Would you mind giving me a ride?"

"Sure." Emily put her arm over Alison's shoulder.

It was perfect timing. The Grille was on the way to Welby.

"Why don't you call them for some take-out for you and your mother and you can pick it up when you drop me off?" Alison shifted her position, leaning into Emily.

There was a brief moment of panic in Emily's brain. If she didn't bring the take-out home her mother would blow her cover.

"That's okay. I already ate about an hour ago when you were out on your drive." Pam smiled.

Emily relaxed, hoping that Alison hadn't felt her stiffen up.

"Take-out could work." Emily replied, her eyes on Alison's, trying not to let her mask slip. "I have some errands to run, so I can eat on the go."

Alison didn't question it. After all, Christmas was only a few days away…and people generally shopped quite often before Christmas.

Emily already had all of their gifts, but Alison didn't know that.

When they got to The Grille Emily walked in with her to pick up the order she'd called in. She was hoping that she wouldn't vomit up her grilled chicken sandwich when she was talking to Charlotte.

Jason was already at a table. He looked up from his phone the moment they were walking through the door and waved tentatively.

Alison glared at him. Emily didn't wave back.

Emily hugged Alison and kissed her temple and then broke away to head to the counter to get her food.

Toby was standing in the check out line, leering at Jason.

Alison walked towards her brother. She tried to remember what Emily had said to her. Jason fed off of her anger. And she fed off of his. The only way to keep it from escalating was to keep her temper in check.

"Hey." Jason nodded towards the chair across from him, motioning for her to sit down.

"Hey. Be back in a minute." Alison made a break for the bathroom.

Emily almost followed her, but Alison shook her head to let her know she was just touching herself up and getting ready for the showdown.

"Hey, Toby." Emily walked up next to him. She saw his to-go box on the counter. He was settling up. "I've been meaning to thank you for getting Baby Jesus back on the roof with Pingy and Wingy."

True to his word, Toby had come back the morning after their talk and put the decoration up next to the two plastic penguins she'd named when she was three.

"Yeah. No problem. Anything for you, Em." Toby was still staring at Jason. "You guys having lunch with that tool?"

"Alison is. I'm just dropping her off."

Jason cupped his water glass and looked around, stopping to flirt with a blonde server. She flipped her hair and smiled at him.

"Look at him. He looks so smug and self-righteous. Like he wasn't some skeevy predator back when we were in high school." Toby shifted on his feet. "Him and Jenna and their nasty NAT shit."

"Yeah." Emily didn't disagree.

"I bet he's in on it." Toby glanced at Emily. "He has full access to the Wicked Witch..."

"Shh." Emily shot him a cross look. "Not here."

It was too public to talk about the taunts they'd been getting or anything related to Charlotte.

Emily felt her stomach gurgling just thinking about the woman.

"Fields?" Someone behind the counter called out to her.

"That's me." Emily reached for the food. She wasn't sure she was going to be able to eat it.

She took the food, which she'd already pre-paid for.

"I really don't like him." Toby sneered at Jason.

"I don't either." Emily frowned.

The older boy had hurt Alison way too much.

"Surprised you're not staying to keep an eye on them. She's liable to stab him with a dinner fork." Toby cracked a wry smile.

"If she does I'll just bail her out of jail." Emily shrugged.

"Where you heading off to?" He watched her curiously.

It was unlike Emily to leave Alison to her own devices, especially knowing in normal circumstances Alison would want her there.

"Errands." Emily lied. "Going to eat along the way." She hoped he wouldn't see through her façade. "You know how it is. Last minute gift shopping. My mom is the organized one. Not me. I put the pro in procrastinating." She added with a seamless smile.

"Try not to get trampled by the crowds." Toby chuckled.

If he had any inclination that anything was wrong he didn't say it.

Alison came out of the bathroom, head held high as she approached her brother.

"I might stay and watch the fireworks." Toby grinned.

"Careful. You might get hit by debris." Emily warned

"Worth it."

Emily glanced at Alison one last time before she said goodbye to Toby.

Alison peered at her and nodded to let her know she was okay.

Emily didn't mind that Toby was staying. He could keep an eye out for her. And if anything happened he would intervene and make sure that Alison was taken care of.

But her plans changed when she was getting into her mother's car.

Just as she was amping herself up to start the car so she could drive out to Welby to see Charlotte she spotted a familiar face walking out of the restaurant across the street.

Wren.

He had a take-out bag in one hand, along with a bouquet of flowers from the boutique next door that were hidden by a bag in his other.

She watched as he climbed into a small black Toyota…which was pretty modest for a doctor.

Something about his presence unnerved her.

He started the car and turned it around, waiting for the flow of traffic to pull out. She saw him pick up his phone and peer at it.

Every instinct in her bones told her to follow him to see where he'd end up, but he was going the opposite direction of where she needed to go. She didn't want to lose her shot at seeing Charlotte.

"Crap." She peered back inside the restaurant.

If she interrupted Alison and Jason she wasn't sure she'd ever get them together again.

She had sworn she would not get Toby involved, but right now that was her only option.

She begrudgingly pulled up his number.

It was just reconnaissance. Wren and Toby lived in the same town, so it's not like they wouldn't run into each other.

She knew she was probably being paranoid. But since Caleb couldn't find anything on Wren they needed to be sure.

Need a favor.

She saw Toby reach for his phone through the glass window. He glanced up and looked out the window and she waved to him.

Black Toyota. Wren. Do you have time to see where he goes? Just trying to be thorough, and if I follow him I'm afraid he'll catch on.

You think he's part of this?

I have no idea at this point. I hate to even ask you, but I don't know what else to do. Do you mind?

Toby walked towards the exit with his doggy-bag, an answer in itself. He nodded her way as he climbed into his truck, his eyes on Wren's taillights.

It would be my pleasure.

He texted back as he turned his truck on.

Fortunately, Wren was at the red light with a few cars between them. It was a perfect opportunity.

Emily took one last look inside The Grille, where Alison and Jason's meeting was just beginning before she pulled out in the opposite direction as Toby and Wren.

Inside the restaurant Alison pulled her chair out and plopped down.

There was a basket of buttered rolls and a pitcher of water on the table. Jason had taken the liberty to pour her a glass.

"Hey." She finally mustered up a greeting.

"How is Emily?" He watched Emily's mother's car driving away.

"You know that's not what I'm here to talk about." She calmly reached for the glass of water in front of her.

"I know. But I have missed out on a lot. Her mom mentioned that you came to support Emily at the funeral. I didn't realize you two had gotten so close. I have tried to keep up with you, but I didn't know you and Emily were together again. You never put her on your socials."

"How do you know what I put on socials?" She picked the glass up. It chilled her palm.

Jason scratched the back of his neck.

"I follow you on Instagram…"

"You don't have social media." Alison frowned.

"That you know of." He shrugged. "I made an account after you left, but I assumed if you saw my name you'd block me. So I just slapped up a photo of a sunset and made up a name."

Despite how angry she was at Jason, she couldn't help but laugh. She couldn't imagine his big bumbling fingers on the screen of a phone scrolling through Instagram.

"You have a FInsta?"

"What the hell is a FInsta?" His brow creased in confusion.

"A fake Instagram account."

"Oh." He took a moment to consider that he should have been able to figure that out on his own, then he nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do. You're the only one I follow though."

"That's not creepy at all." She rolled her eyes.

She saw him tense in anxiety. Jason had a history of creating content that was sinister and vile. He looked at her, his face turning red. He ran his fingers through his unruly hair.

"It's not like that..." He replied softly, like a chastised child.

"So then...why?" Alison's lip curled up. She fought back a sneer.

Don't get mad. Don't get mad.

"Why what?"

"Why do you follow me when you don't even talk to me on the phone?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay…"

"You…" It was almost comical. She felt her temper flaring. The man who had screamed and yelled at her and chose their sister over Alison was concerned. But not concerned enough to ever pick up the fucking phone and call her. "Okay…" She took a breath. "So then why didn't you ever call me?"

"I told you back at the house, I didn't think you would answer." He picked at a roll on his plate.

When she saw him playing with his food she couldn't help but remember him doing the same when he was a little boy. Their mother would pop him on the back of his head and tell him to sit up straight. It had always irked Alison that her parents were so hard on Jason when they were kids. Her dad was worse than her mother, but her mom had a mean streak, too.

"You could have at least tried to call." Alison tried to force out a smile. "You didn't even give me the opportunity to hang up on you."

It earned a chuckle from him. He took a bite of his roll. After he had swallowed he looked into her eyes.

"I think we both said some things we didn't mean. Back then. And earlier today." That blowout had been worse than the one before she'd hauled ass out of town.

"You cut me off." Alison really wanted a roll. Her stomach was growling. But she was afraid if she reached for the basket she would end up picking it up and throwing it at his head.

"I think we needed some time apart…"

"Not just that." Alison interrupted him, trying to keep her tone even. "You completely cut my contact with Charlotte and you made sure as hell to keep my car and keep my name off of the deed of the house. We were supposed to get equal shares of that after mom got it in the divorce."

Not only had he been selfish. He'd been greedy, too.

"Charlotte didn't want to hear from you again. After you gave your testimony she had a terrible mental breakdown…"

Alison inhaled a sharp angry breath through her nose and then slowly let it out. She didn't care. She hated that he cared.

"The doctors thought it would be best that she not be triggered like that again. As far as the car and the house…" His eyes darted to the floor. "Yeah, that was a dick move. But I was hurt…"

"And you thought I was perfectly fine? I was a wreck, Jason. I lost what was left of my entire family in the span of one day." She finally reached for a roll.

She was proud of herself for not picking up the basket and throwing it at his head.

"I didn't know what you were feeling, because…" Before he could finish what he was saying a waitress walked up to them. Her bright red ponytail swung behind her, swishing against her shoulders. She had a pen and a small notepad in her hand.

"Hi. I'm Victoria. Are we ready to order, yet?" She had a perky smile and eager green eyes.

She seemed to be more interested in Jason than she was in Alison. Of course, because he looked like Jesus reincarnated.

Jason smiled back at her, a smile so smooth that no one would ever guess the devious nature he kept hidden from everyone but her.

Alison shot Victoria a murderous look, but the girl didn't seem to notice.

"No. We need a little bit of time." Alison hadn't even glanced at the menu since she walked in. "We'll let you know when we're ready."

It took every ounce of self-control she had to smile politely at her.

"Okay, sounds good." She played with her ponytail and smiled at Jason again.

After she was out of earshot Alison let out a scoff.

"Still as popular with women as ever. She young enough for you? Or do you still prefer high school girls?" It was a low blow and she saw the regret of his past wash across his face. She had to walk it back before he got mad. "Sorry, that was a cheap shot."

"Of all the things that I could get angry with you about, I won't ever get mad about that. Because you're right. I was scum back then. We were stupid. I didn't realize…" He clucked his tongue. "What you said back at the house about Ian…was that true?"

"Of course it's true. He had me in my bedroom and kept pushing me to do things I didn't want to. He pinned me down. The only reason he stopped is because I hit him. I stole his jacket because I knew it was cold out. And then I went to Spencer's house. I stood in her kitchen and cried because of your choice in friends."

"I…" He opened his mouth, but then snapped it shut, knowing better than to say he was sorry, because nothing he said could take back what happened to her.

"That kind of stuff happened to me all the time, and you and Charlotte never seemed to notice or care. I went to Charlotte when I was fifteen once because I thought I was pregnant with Darren Wilden's baby…"

"Darren?" Jason nearly choked on his words. "He was twenty-seven years old!"

"And yet, Charlotte never seemed to think anything was wrong with it. You two were so self-involved back then…" She chose her words carefully, because she was on the verge of anger. "Men have always leered after me like that."

"Jesus Christ." He muttered to himself. To his credit, her brother did actually seem like he cared. "If Darren and Ian weren't dead I would kill them."

His sudden willingness to protect her stunned her. And she realized she had a way to talk to him about their sister.

"Charlotte encouraged it."

"She what?" His eyes widened.

"Charlotte did a lot of stuff you don't know about…"

He held up his hand and shook his head.

"Listen, I know how you feel about her, but she was just as damaged by mom and dad as we were. Dad wanted her locked away in a mental health ward when she was just a kid. And mom hid her from us like she was something dirty, except when she would sneak us around for birthday parties and carnivals. Then she was locked up again and it was back to gaslight your kids for mom."

"Carnivals?"

A flash of a memory came to Alison.

"Jason and his friend wanted the blue. But I want the pink."

Jason and his friend laughing themselves silly on a ride.

Mommy is happy.

Everyone is happy.

A towheaded child waved from the ride.

"Hi, Ali!"

Charlotte.

"Do you remember any of that? You were so young." Jason cocked his head.

"I…" I do. But she couldn't afford to feel empathy for the devil. "I don't know."

"She was such a sweet kid." Jason sighed. "She would always hold your hand so you wouldn't fall when you were walking."

Alison had to fight back the tears.

"Jason…I know somewhere deep down that you know that she can't be trusted."

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but didn't respond.

"You don't think it's weird that the girl who helped Charlotte torture my friends in the underground bunker is hanging around at the exact same time that I start getting threatening messages?" Surely he couldn't be that dumb.

"I know what you think, but I've talked to Sara quite a bit. She went through a lot, too. She said she forgave Charlotte…"

"They were working together…" She held off the "you fucking idiot" that was on the tip of her tongue.

"She was doing what Charlotte told her because she was victimized herself."

"She's lying to you. Tell me you don't remember when she and Charlotte drugged you and dad and tried to blow all of us up?"

Their senior prom had almost been a literal blast.

"She apologized for that. She felt loyal to Charlotte."

"I'll never understand how someone can stay loyal to her." Her comment was pointedly directed at him.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Please don't let her see Charlotte anymore. If only to prove that she is the one helping Charlotte orchestrate this psychological torture aimed at me. It's getting really nasty. Emily's father's grave was defaced…"

He lowered his fingers and blinked.

"I didn't know that."

"Now you do. That's just the kind of twisted thing she does." Alison stared at the rim of her water glass. "And you want to know something? Even though Emily was reeling from the fact that her father's headstone was vandalized her concern shifted to mom's grave."

"Was it…"

"No." Alison shook her head. "Because Charlotte knows that hurting Emily is always guaranteed to hurt me."

"You really think Charlotte is telling Sara to play some stupid little games with your head?" He still didn't believe her.

It was exhausting.

"You know what? Let's just order. If you don't want to talk about this seriously, fine." Before he could say no she was waving the redhead over to the table.

After Victoria took their order, Jason stared at his little sister. He could see traces of vulnerability in her eyes. He was still trying to process everything she'd said to him. He hadn't been a good brother. That's part of the reason he stayed loyal to Charlotte. He'd already lost Alison. He wasn't sure he could bear losing Charlotte, too.

He was conflicted. Alison didn't know it, but she was slowly starting to reach him. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do. All he knew is that he had a ton of thinking to do.

He tried to open the conversation back up and ask how she was doing in Malibu.

She answered him in short clipped responses.

He told her about his travels and about how he was building houses for the underprivileged.

She grunted out responses.

He could tell she was trying not to get mad. She had a little twitch in her jaw when she was pissed off. He remembered the first time he'd seen her do it when she was a kid.

They had been fighting and he'd pushed her a little too hard. She'd landed on her butt on the soft grass. He immediately realized what he'd done and his eyes had gone wide, because he was certain she was going to start screaming for their mom to get him in trouble.

Instead, she had leaped off of the ground. Her jaw twitched, and then she pushed him right back.

"You're mad."

"I am." She didn't deny it.

"But you're not yelling at me."

"What's the point? You're always going to put her first. I just have to accept that." She picked at her salad.

Jason pinched his lips together in thought and then clenched his jaw.

"I don't think I can put a stop to Sara's visits." He clutched his fork in his hand. "Charlotte does so much better with her treatment after they've visited."

Yeah, because they're giddy from torturing me.

"But that doesn't mean I don't hear you, Alison. I do." His eyes softened, but that wasn't enough for Alison.

"I don't need you to just hear me. I need you to listen." She peered at him. "They are dangerous together. And I know what I said back at the house, but the truth is even though I'm mad at you and I hate you right now, you are still my brother. And I'm worried about you."

"Neither one of them has ever tried to hurt me. Or said anything unkind. Charlotte didn't even say anything bad about you after you left. She just cried a lot."

"She put on a show because she wants to get out."

"I don't think she's ever going to get out." He looked genuinely sad about it.

Alison wasn't sad. She was glad. Charlotte had played her like a perfect fool.

"The only thing keeping her going is seeing people in her life who care about her." He glanced at Alison.

"At least think about what I'm asking." Alison had tried anger and it didn't work, so she took to begging, which was unbecoming of her.

He paused and leaned forward. He reached for his water, lifting the glass and taking a sip before looking her in the eyes over the rim.

"Okay."

Alison knew he wouldn't think about it, but at least he was making an effort. Maybe one day she'd be able to reach him.

As they ate their lunch and discussed visitation rights for their sister, neither one of them considered that she had a visitor parking in the parking lot of Welby at that very moment.

o ~ O ~ o

Emily reached for her phone the second she parked the car. She knew she couldn't take it in with her, so she double-checked to make sure she didn't have any missed calls or texts from her girlfriend.

She didn't have anything from Alison, but she saw a text from Toby about Wren.

Weirdo went to the graveyard and ate in his car and then went to visit someone buried there. I couldn't follow him on foot without getting caught and I couldn't see where he went.

Emily tensed up.

Had Wren been the one behind the vandalism after all?

She read the rest of Toby's text.

He drove back to his place afterwards. Nothing crazy.

She fumbled with her phone, her mouth dry as she typed out a reply.

He was at the graveyard?

She felt sick to her stomach. She thought about the angry red letters she'd seen on her dad's headstone and the broken infant decoration being driven away in Bud's cart.

She saw three little dots in a thought bubble as Toby texted back,

Don't worry. I doubled back to check on your dad. Everything was fine. Ran into some dude named Bud. He said everything had been quiet.

Thank you, Toby. Bud's a good guy. He'll look out for my dad. He told me Wren visits patients sometimes. Maybe that's true.

Hope that's all it is. Sorry I don't have more for you.

That's okay. Thanks again. Owe you a beer.

Look forward to it.

Emily considered texting Alison to ask how it was going, but she got the feeling that Alison would reach out if she needed her, so she let her have breathing room.

She stared at the building for ten minutes after she'd scarfed down her lunch. She sucked on a breath mint before climbing out of the car and trekking towards the front of the building.

At the front door she could feel her muscles tensing in anticipation. She took a long breath before reaching for the door leading to the lobby.

When she signed in at the front desk they asked her if she had any personal items on her.

"Just my keys. I left my phone in the car."

She wasn't going to walk into a room with Charlotte and risk giving her access to more technology. She assumed Sara was sneaking in the phones, but she didn't know for sure.

After they confiscated her keys and screened her to make sure she didn't have any weapons she followed a nurse's aide through so many security checkpoints that she lost count. It was a small comfort knowing that it wasn't easy to get in and out.

When they got to Charlotte's room the aide used her badge to open the door.

Emily wasn't sure what to expect, but she was a bit unnerved to see Charlotte kicked back, relaxing in a lounge chair. She had a book in her hands.

The Tipping Point: How Things Can Make a Difference by Malcolm Gladwell. There was another one on the arm of the chair. The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin.

Alison had once mentioned to Emily that Welby had a wide selection of books in their library. A bulk of it was self-help, but there was some non-fiction mixed in. The books were heavily vetted and censored.

Charlotte put the book down and greeted Emily and the nurse with a smile that would look real to anyone else but them.

Emily stepped into the room.

"Emily. Hello. It's so good to see you."

It had been a long time since Emily had seen her and heard her voice. The hair on the back of her neck prickled up.

The nurse walked over to a small box on the wall. She used a key hanging from her lanyard to open it, revealing a small panel with red button.

"If anything goes wrong, you just push that button. Otherwise I'll be right outside." The nurse waved to Emily and then closed the door.

Emily sized Charlotte up and then took a moment to observe the room. The walls were an off-white eggshell color. The bed and the lounge chaired matched the paint. The shatterproof double-paned window of unbreakable glass had steel metal bars on the outside. It was locked from the outside and the inside. It let some daylight though.

There was a thick wooden table between the chair and the bed. It had a large nightlight. No glass, obviously.

No glass. No weapons.

There was a tumbler of water on a coaster on the table. Emily felt a dizzying sensation when her eyes landed on the water. For some reason it reminded her of waking up to find a tall glass of water and antibiotics in the Dollhouse.

She managed to keep a cool façade.

Two chairs had been placed around the table, presumably for Emily's visit.

Charlotte's room looked like a tiny apartment with the exception of the bars and locks on the windows. And the panic button.

Charlotte gestured towards one of the chairs.

Emily sat in the other one. She wasn't going to do anything Charlotte wanted her to do.

"Got your message." Emily's fingers curled into a slightly loose fist as she thought about the angry red letters on her father's headstone.

Charlotte cocked her head like a confused puppy and smiled.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

Bullshit.

"To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised to see you here." Charlotte reached for her water.

Emily tried not to flinch, and failed miserably.

Charlotte acted like she didn't notice and took a sip of her drink.

"I'm surprised to be here." It took all of Emily's might not to bounce her knees up and down.

"Jason didn't tell me you were coming."

Jason doesn't know.

Emily didn't budge. She didn't give an inch. She was not going to give Caleb away.

"People who work in places like this are burned out. Bribes go a long way. You know that. Or maybe you don't. Maybe all you did was threaten people…"

Charlotte gave her a soft look, her eyes full of regret that Emily knew she didn't actually feel.

"Emily, you have to know that I was…"

"No." Emily held her palm up to stop her from talking. "I'm not here for me. I don't care what you want to try and threaten me with. I have already lived the worst day of my life and I'm still standing."

It pained her to think about her father, but in a way he was giving her the strength she needed to face Charlotte.

"I wasn't going to threaten you. I was going to say I'm sorry." The blonde sat patiently waiting for Emily to buy her act.

"I'm not here for that." It wasn't genuine anyway.

"So then why are you here?" Charlotte dropped the pretenses.

"For Alison." Emily ground her teeth. "What you did to her is unforgivable. After everything she did for you…" She took a calculated breath. "She loved you when no one else would. And you destroyed her. And I won't ever let you do that to her again." She pushed her chair back a few inches. "I'm going to see to it that you rot in here."

Charlotte looked like Emily had slapped her.

"How vile do you have to be to threaten someone in a mental hospital? I'm here to get better!"

"You and I both know you're not crazy. You're calculating. You're manipulative. You're a sociopath."

Charlotte didn't scream or yell. She simply stared at Emily with a blank look on her face.

After nearly a minute of silence a small wicked smile tugged at her lips.

There was the real Charlotte.

"My my...how far you've come." She tapped her fingers against the table and clucked her tongue. "Sassy and brave. Look how strong I made you…"

"Stop it." Emily felt her chicken sandwich roiling in her stomach.

"I heard about Dear Old Dad. Such a shame…" She had a malicious twinkle in her eye, knowing it was a soft spot for the brunette.

A hairline trigger exploded inside of Emily. She leaped to her feet, but managed to keep her hands away from Charlotte's throat.

"I'm not playing this game with you. I only came for one reason. And that's because I love her too much to see you put her through this." Emily hands were shaking at her sides. It seemed to amuse Charlotte. "Stop calling her or you're going to regret it."

"Oh, what are you going to do to me, Americano?" Her voice and the nickname grated Emily's nerves.

"You have no idea the lengths I would go to in order to protect her. Stop your game, Charlotte." She's suffered enough." Emily grit her teeth.

"Has she though?" Charlotte had a twisted look in her eyes. "You know, in the three years you and the rest of my dolls…"

"We are not your fucking dolls." Emily growled.

"Touchy, touchy." Charlotte laughed.

"I'm not touchy. I'm pissed." A budding sensation of fire was quickly expanding in Emily's stomach.

"Why do you even care about her? It's surprising to me that you're defending your childhood bully. She manipulated your feelings for her and tormented you about your sexuality…"

"That's not who she is anymore." Emily wanted to kick her in the face. Instead she took a step back to put some distance between them.

"She told me everything she did to you when you were younger." Charlotte smiled. "I was around for some of it. We used to laugh about how naïve and gullible you were."

"I don't care. I won't let you do to her what you did to us. You're a goddamn monster…"

"You kiss my sister with that mouth?" Charlotte scoffed.

"She is not your sister. Not anymore. She never was. She never will be again. All she was to you was a means to an end. So you don't get to call her family. I'm her family. And I have a hell of a lot of my Dear Old Dad in me…" She threw Charlotte's taunt back in her face, "I protect my family."

"Yes, that worked out so well for your father…"

Emily took a deep breath, trying to work through her pain and her anger. She refused to let Charlotte weasel her way under her skin.

"You're done. I mean it." Emily stared into her cold dead eyes, and she could see a reflection of herself in the deep pools of blue. She was staring back with the same expression. "If you don't stop hurting her…you and I are going to have it out. And it's not going to be pretty."

Charlotte squirmed. She tried to hide it, but Emily caught it. She felt a strong sense of satisfaction. She wasn't the scared little victim anymore.

"You don't have it in you."

"You have no idea what I have in me." Emily thought back to the night she had punched Tyler in the nose.

She had wanted to do more to that creepy little pervert. She'd wanted his face to cave in underneath her fists, but she had restrained herself because Alison had been watching. But Alison wasn't with her now, and Emily finally understood why. Because she wanted to let the monster inside of her out of its cage. She needed the monster. Because the only way to slay a dragon like Charlotte DiLaurentis was to show her some teeth.

Charlotte was staring at her, no expression on her face. No feelings whatsoever.

"Stop fucking with her. Stop fucking with me. Don't you ever even so much as think about any of us ever again. You have no one. You never will…"

"That's where you're wrong, Americano." A devious smile tugged at the right side of her lips. "I have people who love me…"

"You don't have love. You have paid henchmen. And trust me, I'm not scared of them." Emily crossed her arms in front of her chest. She knew if she didn't hold herself back she was going to end up hitting Charlotte.

"You should be." She lowered her voice.

"I know all about Sara Harvey." Emily watched her face carefully, and she noticed when Charlotte's pupils dilated. She'd struck a nerve. And now she was going to work the nerve raw. "Your little friend isn't going to be coming to see you anymore." Emily wasn't sure how she was going to make that happen, but she was going to make it happen. "Sooner or later Jason is going to see through your act, too. And then you'll have nothing left. No dolls left to play with. No one to tell your lies to. You're going to end up stuck here forever. Alone. And you'll have no one to blame but yourself."

Emily wasn't sure the statement would impact her, but she saw a hint of trepidation.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Her voice tremored in uncertainty. "You think I'm all alone…" She quirked another odd smile. "But I'm not."

"Of course not. The voices in your head and your paid help keep you company." The minute she said it, she regretted it.

She was hitting way below the belt, and it felt beneath her.

"And everyone says I'm the monster? You're messed up, Fields." Charlotte scoffed.

"Maybe." Emily shrugged. "But only because you messed me up."

"You might want to curb the cocky attitude. You seem to have forgotten that my sister chose me…"

"Yeah, three years ago. And where is she now?" Emily looked around the room. "Not here, that's for damn sure."

"She'll come back. I have my family completely wrapped around my little finger. Blood is thicker than water. All I have to do is cry my way into a Psych hold. I hate myself. I want to die. Just let me die!" She feigned a desperate cry, but then she started to laugh. "And they'll come running. They always do."

"You keep telling yourself that." Emily didn't take the bait.

There was a pause as Charlotte considered something. She'd met her match in Emily Fields, and she didn't like it.

"You and I are more alike than your friends will ever know." Charlotte tried to get a rise out of her. "Sooner or later Alison is going to see the real you…"

Charlotte's taunts would have gotten to Emily when she was younger, but now she simply smiled, all teeth.

"Yeah, but the difference between the two of us…" Emily motioned from Charlotte to herself, "…is that Alison will still love me after she hears about this. But she hates you." Emily pressed.

Charlotte opened her mouth to respond, then closed it. She opened it again, but she seemed to be speechless.

"You're lying."

"No." Emily shook her head. "She fucking despises you. You lost her. And you'll never get her back. And you're going to lose Jason soon enough, too."

"J-Jason would never…" Her voice trembled slightly.

"How often does he visit you?" Emily asked. Now that she knew Jason had been gone for months she realized how isolated Charlotte truly was. "Do you think he actually cares about you? He's doing it out of obligation and you know it."

Charlotte gripped the edge of the table, her knuckles turning white. She looked primed and ready to kill.

Emily stood her ground, waiting on her reaction.

She expected Charlotte to lunge at her. Instead she calmly pulled her hands away from the table and cleared her throat. She reached for her water and enjoyed several sips.

Then she looked Emily directly in the eyes with malice and contempt.

"You might want to be careful, honey. I buried my mother. And I can bury you, too."

And there it was. The confirmation that Charlotte had been lying about everything.

"Are you expecting me to gasp in shock at that revelation? You've spent years dealing with your mental health. Nothing you admit to would shock me." She wanted to keep her talking. She was finally getting somewhere.

"I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted her to suffer. She deserved to die. You think I'm insane. You have no idea." She replied sharply. "Lucidity is where I live. Insanity is just the inviting garden that draws people into a haunted house without them realizing what they're walking in to."

"I'm glad you're getting the care you need." Emily managed to stay composed.

"Fuck you. You can tell Alison she'll rot in hell with our mom."

Emily stood perfectly still. Charlotte wanted to hurt Alison with that information. It pissed her off, but she managed to keep a stoic expression.

Charlotte leaped to her feet and stood face to face with her. She seemed surprised that Emily didn't pull away from her.

"I killed my mother. I ground up those pills and I put it in her wine and I watched her die." Spittle frothed at the edges of her mouth.

"I know that. I knew it the second I saw you threatening to kill yourself on that rooftop after we figured out who you were." Charlotte had threatened to jump and kill herself, but of course it was just an empty threat. "You should have jumped off of that building. Alison and Jason would have been better off without you."

Her stomach twisted into knots when she realized she'd just told Charlotte to drop dead, especially given what she had overheard between Alison and Jason at the DiLaurentis house. Though Charlotte acted like her suicidal tendencies were a manipulation tactic, Emily would hate herself if she was the reason that Charlotte actually followed through on those threats.

"You are one cold-hearted bitch." Charlotte sneered.

"At least I have a heart." Emily clutched her fists, waiting on Charlotte to lift one finger.

"You think I don't love her…" Charlotte started to grind her teeth.

"You don't know how to love. You never have."

Charlotte looked at her like she had slapped her. And Emily wanted to do just that. But she knew that words cut deeper.

Charlotte was a sociopath. She didn't feel anything. But she didn't like being challenged. And it annoyed her that Emily wasn't bending the knee for her.

In fact, the brunette had Charlotte exactly where she wanted her. She had major ammo against her. She obviously hadn't known what Charlotte was going to say, but she'd come prepared anyway.

"You know, I wonder how authorities would react to you confessing to first degree murder, especially someone who claims to have been lucid. That murder took planning. Forethought." Emily kept her gaze fixed on Charlotte's. "Would you still get to live a cushy life here if everyone knew the truth about what you did to your mother?"

Charlotte took a step back.

"They don't allow phones in here…" Emily shrugged. "Well, at least not on the up and up. I assume Sara gets them to you anyway. But they don't have a policy about recording devices."

She tapped the pocket of her pants.

"You're bluffing." But she didn't seem so sure.

It was apparently easy enough for Sara to sneak in phones. It hadn't been that hard to sneak in a small recording device. She wasn't sure it was entirely legal, but at the very least she had to try.

"Am I?" Emily asked. "You already have a murder charge on your record. A cop." A dirty cop who deserved it. "You think another murder charge will change your situation just a bit? Especially after you fled the country after you murdered Darren Wilden."

Charlotte's stony blue eyes filled with fire.

"And before you plan to put a hit out on me, just know that if anything happens to me or anyone else in my life…copies of this will find their way to the State police and the FBI. The CIA. NSA. And I wouldn't bother telling Jason about this little visit either unless you want him to know you murdered his mother. If you so much as step one foot out of line, this is going to be all over the news."

"You're blackmailing me?" She seemed insulted.

"I am not blackmailing you. I'm asking you to stop tormenting Alison." Her response came out calm, but there was a deadly undertone. "Call it off. Everything. Your little messages. Sara. Everything…"

"You're on that recording threatening me."

"The funny thing about audio is how easy it is for some of it to get lost. Plus, threats don't amount to much. I haven't actually done anything."

Charlotte knew Emily was right, and it pissed her off.

"So…are you going to stop hurting her?" Emily asked.

"Get out." Charlotte pointed sharply at the door.

"It's a yes or no question. Answer and I'll be out of your hair forever."

Charlotte angrily looked at the ground.

"I underestimated you, Emily." Her tone was cold and flat. "I won't make that mistake again." She clenched her hands by her sides. "I don't know who is calling my sister, but I'm sure it will work itself out."

Emily wasn't surprised that she could lie so effortlessly. But she was surprised that Charlotte seemed to be giving up.

Seemed to be.

Only time would tell.

"Happy holidays." Emily waved.

"Merry fucking Christmas." Charlotte snapped.

"Goodbye, Charlotte." Emily backed towards the door and knocked on it gently.

Charlotte didn't bother with a goodbye. She stormed the two feet over to her chair and grabbed her book and plopped down into the cushions with a huff.

When the nurse practitioner opened the door Emily smiled at her, trying to hide the rush of emotions flooding her veins.

She was shaking when she got back to the car. It was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. Charlotte was right about one thing. She didn't have it in her to murder someone in cold blood. But in order to get her to believe it, Emily had to sell it.

At her core Charlotte was selfish. As soon as she confessed to that murder she had given Emily exactly what she needed. The brunette knew that Charlotte would value her self-preservation over everything else. She wouldn't risk getting caught.

Emily felt wildly dirty. She hadn't been herself in that room. From the moment she had crossed the threshold she had become something feral. She had said horrible things to her…things she didn't actually mean. Despite what Charlotte had done to her in the past she couldn't find it in her heart to actually mean the words coming out of her mouth. But she knew going into it that the only way to get Charlotte to listen was to speak her language.

She just hoped it was enough to scare her into stop tormenting them.

What's more…she hoped that Alison could forgive her once she found out what she'd done.

She was so emotional about the visit that she didn't see the small non-descript vehicle mixed among the other cars in the visitor's lot.

She didn't know it, but she wasn't Charlotte's last visitor for the day. If she been in the building ten minutes longer they would have passed one another in the hallway. If she had pulled out of the parking lot three minutes later she would have seen the person walking up to the front of the building. She would have seen them pause before opening the door, scanning the parking lot as if looking for hidden cameras, and then disappearing into Welby.

---

A/N: Ooooof, the DiLaurentis Family has a TON going on. Do we trust Jason? Are we mad at him? What is Sara up to? Wren? And what about Emily's talk with Charlotte? Did she take it too far? Was it deserved? Will Emily ever find it in her heart to forgive herself? What is Alison going to say?