Ch 45: Doubt

When I reread this, I realized it's just a bunch of people full of doubts.

Also, I can't believe this coincidence! I got a new roommate and her name is Phoebe! She's not a spider, she's a normal human being so far as I can tell, and we're getting along well.

Ava entered the room and watched Peter blink his eyes open. Despite being woken in the middle of the night, he didn't look alarmed. In fact, he was already looking her way as if he'd been expecting her. Which, with their senses, was very likely, especially since he'd been sleeping with his eyes half open again. Not to mention that her midnight Med Bay visits were starting to become a habit. But she had sort of expected to find him confused or even restless and agitated.

She was glad to catch him in a calm mood. It wouldn't have been the first time she woke up a team member and was punched for it, but she didn't want to startle him. She also didn't want to receive a punch.

Of course, that was assuming that Peter would punch and not bite.

Ava didn't think he would bite, not with a friend, but he didn't deserve the scare required to test it.

"Hey Pete, sorry to wake you, I just wanted to talk," she said quietly as she came to stand by the bed.

Peter nodded absently and began looking around, puzzled. Maybe he was still disoriented like he'd been when he first woke up earlier that day. Ava waited for him to realize where he was.

Then Peter jumped up to a crouch so suddenly that Ava jumped too. He was feeling around with his hands now, searching for something.

"Pete?" she said in the kindest voice she could muster. "It's okay, it's just me, just Ava. You're safe now. Remember you're at Shield? Everything's fine."

"But I don't have my web!" he whined.

That's what all this fuss was about? "Um, no, you never made one here."

His head snapped up to look her dead in the eye as he paused in his search. "Oh. I didn't make one? Why not?"

"Dr. Connors told you to hold off on web making until he got some results back on your inflamed spinneret."

"Oh. Oh right." Peter nodded. Blinked a few more times. Frowned perplexedly. "Why did I think I'd made a web?"

Ava was wondering the same thing. He hadn't said anything about wanting to make a web since his first one a couple weeks ago. But now he'd made one for safety at Taskmaster's place, so maybe he'd changed his mind about not wanting webs. "Well, you did sleep on one the past couple of nights. Plus they make you feel safe, and I wouldn't be surprised if you're still on edge."

Peter settled back on the bed, carefully putting back his IV. "Right, yeah. I don't need a web."

"If you want to—"

"No, no I don't. I must have been having a flashback or something. That's all," Peter said firmly, so Ava didn't push the point. "You're here about Phoebe, right? How is she? Has she been eating? Was she able to write on the tablet?"

Ava approached him now to sit on the edge of the bed. She would have liked to address his brief panic, but she understood that Phoebe took precedence for him. "Phoebe's fine. I just came back from telling her that you're safe. She's thrilled. She ate plenty. And the tablet was super handy. She writes well."

Peter sighed heavily in relief. "That's good. I can't wait to see her again. I can't believe I left her alone for so long."

"Your absence was not your fault. Besides, I'm perfectly capable of caring for her from time to time. Just don't get kidnapped too often, okay?" She grinned even though the joke was only half funny. Peter would likely get kidnapped again; it was just a matter of when.

"I'll try." Peter smiled wryly. "But I still feel bad because we were going to read a book that night. She was so excited."

"Cool, which one?"

"Charlotte's Web."

Ava frowned. "You do know the spider dies in that one, right?"

Peter gasped. "She does?!"

"Yeah. She lays a bunch of eggs and then dies."

"I can't read that to Phoebe! Oh my gosh, thanks for warning me! I totally forgot what it was about!"

"No problem. I wouldn't rule it out just yet though. The spider is the hero after all. She saves Wilbur's life."

"Yeah, but then she dies and that's sad! I knew there was a reason I never read it again!"

Ava snorted. "How long have you liked spiders?"

"It—It's not the spider part that bothered me, back then," Peter admitted quietly. "I read it a long time ago."

There was a brief moment of silence as Ava tried to understand what he meant. What had happened a long time ago that wasn't spider related that would make him avoid reading about death? "Oh, I see," Ava said. She cleared her throat and decided to change in topic from all of Peter's losses. "So that's basically all I had to say about Phoebe. Because sure, she was worried, we all were, but I did my best to talk to her and comfort her and—Peter, why are you crying?"

It was too dark to see his tears, but the change in his breathing was obvious. Ava reached out to squeeze his shoulder. She hadn't meant to remind him of Ben or his parents! He hadn't even given her time to distract him afterwards!

Peter sniffled, wiping his face roughly. "When I was little, I would cry whenever animals died in movies. May and Ben had to lock up all of our dog movies for a couple years because one dog always dies in those. But now I killed an animal myself and I still feel so proud about it!"

Ohhh, that was why he was crying. Then it wasn't Ava's fault. It still felt like her responsibility to make him feel better though. She had a similar experience anyway, so maybe it wouldn't be so hard to help this time. "I cried with animal movies too when I was little. I even cried when my cousins had a party with a full roast pig. I wasn't used to seeing them dead. Then my dad started training me with the amulet, and he started bringing home deer whenever we struggled with the rent, and . . . I learned to love the meat and what came with it." She forced herself not to lick her lips at the memories.

Peter was not comforted yet. "I didn't do that though! I didn't get exposed to it or taught about it! I just did it!"

"Except you sort of were exposed to it," Ava said hesitantly. She didn't want to remind him of such things, but it was better than letting him freak out.

Peter's eyes widened. "You're right, I hunted with the Bug Game. You think that's what started this?"

Ava shook her head. "Hold on, that's not exactly what I meant. I mean, sure, it was hunting, but it just isn't the same because it's not as gory. I was thinking that maybe—just maybe—you've sort of warmed up to the idea of hunting considering . . . you know, some of the other things you've done lately."

His fears gave way to a more serious type of worry. "You mean Kraven. And everything that happed in the Savage Lands."

"I do, yeah." She didn't even know what had happened in the Savage Lands except that Peter had bitten Wolverine there, but in a jungle full of animals it was perfectly logical that Peter would try to eat at least one.

There were no new tears on Peter's face, but now he looked dejected. "Those times it was sort of forced on me. Well, I didn't have to hunt the dinosaur, but the poison made me wild. And Kraven was a real life or death situation. This time though . . . Adrien didn't force me. He didn't bribe me or anything. He just let the chicken out and I tried to resist, but I was hungry. I hadn't had breakfast yet. I could have asked to leave and have a regular breakfast. But I didn't."

Honestly, Ava would have gone for the chicken too. "Tandy was using her powers on you by then though, right? Maybe you weren't forced, but you weren't doing things of your full free will either."

"What about now, then? Now I'm free from her influence, and I can finally regret the decision, but I don't. Not fully, anyway. I can look back and I can remember how it felt to sink my fangs into flesh again. The feathers were uncomfortable, but the warmth felt nice. And it felt good to release my venom, just like it always does." Peter cocked his head, thoughtful. "Except this time there was something new. I used enough venom, and I thought I was done, but then I felt like I had to inject something more into it, something else. I should probably talk to Dr. Connors about that."

Ava nodded. "That's probably best."

"Where was I going with this?"

"You were telling me about your hunt and . . ." She wasn't even sure how to put the rest of his dilemma into words, but Peter didn't wait for her to finish.

"Right, so I injected everything into it, and then I just, like, knew that I had to wrap it up in silk. By then it had stopped struggling so it was super easy," he explained, sounding a lot more like his usual chipper self. "Did you know that web sacs can hold in the fluids after everything is liquified?"

"Um, no, I didn't." Should she tell him that he had veered off track? Should she mention that his horror had spontaneously disappeared? This was a major mood swing, but not necessarily a bad one. Plus, she was finally getting those details about the hunt. "It turned entirely to liquid?"

"Yeah, after several hours. It was annoying to wait. But once it was done, I just had to suck it out."

Ava had never had meat in any other form than solid, but it still made her mouth water. "What did it taste like? Did it taste different?"

"A little. I think my venom adds a little pizzazz."

"Huh, do you think it would be safe for me to try some of your liquified meat someday?"

"My . . . my liquified meat . . ." Peter frowned thoughtfully for a moment and then his horror was back in full power. "Oh my gosh—I just told you—I mean, all of that is—I wanted to tell you, but not like that—I'm so sorry—"

Ava tensed, realizing how far she'd let him slip. "Wait, don't apologize! It's my fault, I encouraged it. I'm sorry!"

Peter shook his head. "But this is the problem I'm trying to get at! As upset as I am about it, I'm just as happy and proud! I don't know how I should feel, and these mood swings aren't helping!" He slapped the mattress in frustration, causing something in the bed to crack. Upon hearing the noise, he opted to curl in on himself instead.

Ava knew her next move was a bad idea, but she had already messed things up and Peter obviously needed to vent. She reached into her pocket. "I, uh, brought these in case you needed something to squeeze." She held out the two stress balls. One was a true ball, and the other was shaped like a cloud. It seemed best not to offer any animal shaped ones for a while.

Peter eyed them. Ava thought that he was silently refusing them, but then he grabbed the ball and squeezed it down as far it could go. "Thanks," he muttered. "I think I needed this."

"No problem. And if you want to use one for your venom, I can bring replacements."

Peter's face scrunched in displeasure. "After you all went to bed, Dr. Connors gave me another thermos so I could relieve any new venom. I tried to do it. I wanted to do it. I don't have a lot, but there's enough that it'll probably start to bother me soon." He sighed heavily, clenching the stress ball tighter. "I couldn't do it. I kept thinking about something Phoebe told me once. That venom is for food. I used it for food now and it felt good. I'm afraid it's going to be hard to go back to forcing it into a bottle."

Okay, this was interesting. "Will the stress balls help, then? They feel a little bit more like—you know." It seemed best not to say 'flesh' outright.

"Maybe? But what if they just make me crave hunting more?"

Ava considered that. "Well, you need to release venom anyway. You can wait a bit longer to try and get it out without the stress balls, but we don't need a repeat of last time you held it in." She narrowed her eyes. "Wait, how long have you already been holding it in?"

Peter looked away, which was already all the answer she needed. "I don't know. Maybe since Felicia helped me."

Ava scowled at the mention of Black Cat but stayed on topic. "That was over a day ago!"

"It's not a lot. I did use some, after all."

"But it's still been sitting in you while activated or whatever! I'm not letting you poison yourself again. Go on, let it out." She handed him the thermos.

"But I—"

"You can crave flesh all you want. I'd rather see you hunt something else than hurt yourself."

Peter glared at her, no doubt valiantly trying to come up with a counterargument. In the end, he grabbed the thermos. "Fine, but I hate everything about what you just said."

"Fair enough."

He tried it without the stress ball first, clamping his fangs on the rim with a small metallic clang and holding the thermos there. This prevented him from speaking, of course, and the silence quickly grew awkward. Ava considered if she should spill her own secrets to fix this mess.

"You know," she began quietly. "I do mean it when I say that I'm jealous of you right now. You got to hunt before me, and I don't know if I can ever live that down."

Peter rolled his eyes and grumbled unintelligibly. So Ava decided to tell the full story.

"For my Quinceanera, my dad was going to take me on my first hunt. He thought it was important to do things like that in honor of the tiger. The amulet gives us so much power, after all, that it's only fair to give it the blood it craves from time to time. So he was going to guide me through a deer hunt. I was looking forward to it so much." She took a few even breaths to hold back the tears. "Of course, it never happened. When I was on my own, I considered starting small, maybe with a rabbit or squirrel, but I was afraid like you. I feared that without my papi, I wouldn't be able to control myself. So I haven't done anything more than eat raw meat."

Now Peter's eyes were softer. He lowered the thermos, retracting his fangs. "I'm sorry. I must seem, like, ungrateful or something to you. I wish it could have been you. Not that I want you kidnapped! I just mean—"

"I know what you mean. And you don't have to be sorry. I just wanted you to know that if you do decide you want to hunt, then you're not the only one on this team. And if you do make real plans to do it again, you have to invite me."

"Fine, that's fair. I really don't—I mean—At this point, I don't know what I want. I don't want to want to hunt, but I don't know if I can stop myself from wanting it. And even if I do want it, I should want to avoid it anyway. Does that make sense?"

Ava considered the logic. "Yeah, I think so. But even if this just remains an instinct thing you choose to repress, please don't feel less human for it. Humans did hunt in the past after all. Our species started off as hunter gatherers. So you're not less of a person for having that part of you amplified by spider DNA."

Peter made a small thoughtful sound. "Hm, amplified instead of altered. I don't know how true that is, but I like the sound of it."

Ava smiled. It appeared she had successfully remedied the grief she had caused him. Sadly, that seemed to be the only thing she did with him: mess things up and then fix them.

Peter gave a small smile back before very reluctantly placing the stress ball on the opening of the thermos. He bit down on it. This ball was dark, so his venom wasn't visible as it became saturated. When he was done, he carefully avoided touching the ball as he set the thermos aside on the bedside table.

"Thanks for the stress balls," he said sincerely. "I probably would have avoided using them for another few days."

Ava rolled her eyes now, although she was alarmed that he would have waited days. "You really do have the worst self-preservation in the world."

Peter chuckled lightly.

"Well, I should get to bed." Ava stood. "If you're going home tomorrow, then we have a huge homecooked meal to look forward to."

"Yeah, um, Ava . . . wait." Peter bit his lip. "Even if I never hunt again . . . do you want me to help you with your first hunt?"

She smiled sadly this time. "I appreciate it, but I wouldn't ask that of you. I wouldn't want you to feel tempted or anything."

"I have a feeling I'll be tempted someday no matter what, especially when I get Phoebe back to her home. If I can help you along the way, then I think we should give it a shot."

Ava wanted to say thanks, and she wanted to say no thanks. If Peter ended up hunting against his will again, then Ava would never forgive herself. At the same time, it meant so much to her that he would even offer. "I appreciate it, but we'll talk about that another time. You need to sleep." She hesitated, another terrible idea occurring to her. "Do you want to make a web for tonight?"

Peter bit his lip harder. "Um, no, I'll be fine. Besides, I shouldn't mess up the machines by clogging them up with silk."

"Fair point. Goodnight, Pete. I'm glad you're back."

"Goodnight. I'm glad to be back."

"Good morning! How's the patient today?"

Peter looked up from his breakfast, offering a smile. "Morning, Dr. Connors. Can I go home yet?"

Connors chuckled. That was always Peter's first question whenever he ended up in the Med Bay. "Soon, once the last round of results is ready. I'd guess by noon."

"Fine." Peter continued his ham and egg sandwich a little grumpily.

Connors studied him. Technically, Connors didn't have any of the official qualifications for treating patients in person. When he'd gone to graduate school, he'd focused on research in gene editing. That's what all of his classes and research experience prepared him for. Or maybe they hadn't prepared him well, considering the many moral, scientific, and legal violations he committed during the Lizard fiasco. Regardless, his current profession was built up on the training Shield provided when they saw how promising his work was, and the doctors who'd trained him had not focused on bedside manners. This shortcoming hadn't mattered for a long time since all of the agents he treated were very professional and just wanted to get back in the field as quickly as possible.

Then Connors became the personal doctor to five teenagers, and suddenly his social shortcomings were very apparent in the many, many awkward silences he caused.

In his defense, it was hard not to be awkward when puberty was the answer to half the questions they asked.

But sometimes there were days like today when his patient was obviously in need of some support, and Connors wasn't entirely sure how to give it except in the form of facts.

"I figured out how you dissolved the chicken."

Peter abruptly stopped chewing. "Oh?"

"Your venom is only there to incapacitate. It's your saliva that breaks down the flesh. I wish I had taken some samples of your saliva last year. Human saliva can already break down carbohydrates. Have you ever held a cracker or cookie in your mouth for too long until it stopped being sweet? That's your saliva breaking down the sugar until it stops triggering our sense of sweetness. So it stands to reason that your salivary glands only needed some slight encouragement to start affecting other types of molecules similarly."

Peter placed down his sandwich. "You're telling me that if I drooled all over this sandwich, it would turn to goop?"

Connors considered the question. "More or less, yes. Any preservatives in the deli meats might protect it, but I don't know how well."

Slowly, Peter nodded, somewhat scowling. "Is there anything about me that isn't built for hunting?"

"Um . . ." Oh dear, Connors realized he must have said something wrong again. "Your empathy?"

"My empathy?"

"You're an extremely empathetic person. I've never seen someone so quick to form bonds with other people and understand them. That's a big part of what makes you a good leader, but it certainly isn't a hunter's trait."

Peter's frown went away. "Oh. Maybe you're right. Thanks."

Connors smiled. "Happy to help. Is there anything else I should know? Have you released any venom yet?"

"Yeah, I did last night." Peter pointed to the thermos. Connors picked it up and found it about a quarter full.

"Excellent! Can't have you poisoning yourself again!"

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" Peter complained with a roll of his eyes.

"People who care about you usually like to keep you from poisoning yourself."

"Yeah, I guess."

Connors thought he sort of understood what Peter might be feeling, even if most of his lizard traits had left him thanks to the cure. Sometimes he wondered if Peter would make a cure for himself if he could. Connors hoped he wouldn't. Peter had been lucky enough to receive a successful mutation, and it allowed him to help so many people. It wasn't fair that it also caused him to feel like a freak.

And honestly, even being a feral half-animal creature wasn't as bad as people might think. Being the Lizard had been quite a liberating experience for Connors.

Sometimes, he missed it. The power, the freedom, the stronger instincts that made him truly feel fulfilled in comparison to the vague and imprecise human needs. It was annoying now to feel sluggish and upset, only to realize that he was hungry. As the Lizard, he hungered, and then he hunted. That was it.

His watch beeped and he looked at it. "Ah, I almost forgot, you have some visitors to keep you occupied in the meantime. The first is already on their way."

"The team is coming separately?" Peter asked.

"Oh no, they're coming later."

"You mean people besides the team and my aunt are coming?"

"Like I said, people care about you." Connors waved while his hand was still free. He'd learned to wave before picking up larger objects. He had hit one too many nurses with his clipboard and tablet. "I'll get back to you with those results."

"Thanks, Dr. Connors."

"Don't mention it."

Connors' bedside manner was lacking, but sometimes it lacked a little less.

Tony Stark did not hesitate. His mind worked fast, and he was a great multitasker, so he didn't need to pause in order to worry. He just kept walking. Walking and wondering.

Why was he so worried?

The kid was fine. Maybe his kidnapping had been partially Tony's fault, but they'd found him, and everything was in the past.

Except the past was the problem. The past was always the problem.

"Hey, Pete," Tony said as he walked in. Watching Peter's eyes go wide was amusing. "How's it going?"

"Mr. Stark, what are you doing here?!"

Tony arched an eyebrow. "I was part of your rescue team and I live in the area. It shouldn't be so shocking."

"Well, it's just, you never visited me in the Med Bay before. Not that I minded! It's just weird to see you here."

It was obvious Peter didn't mean for that to be a slap in the face. Because this was far from the first time Iron Man got him sent to the Med Bay, and Tony had never thought to check in on him those times. Granted, he also hadn't known Spider-Man's identity those times, but he could have at least called to make sure Underoos was okay.

This was why people called Stark 'insensitive'.

Tony cleared his throat. "Well, past performance isn't indicative of future results. Besides, you're my intern now."

Peter smiled warmly as he rolled his eyes. "That was just a cover. We literally only spent the one day working on the video."

"And we spent months working on the suit, which is technically what the internship was for."

"Yeah, I guess we did . . ." Peter trailed off there, obviously unsure where this conversation was going. Tony wasn't sure where it was going either, but he didn't have anything else to say to ease into this, so . . .

"Logan told me about your little Were-Spider incident."

"W—were-spider? What? What are you talking about?" The made-up word seemed to confuse Peter further, but there was also an unmistakable fear in his eyes now as he tried to avoid the topic.

"The Savage Lands poison thing. And how you've had to deal with your spider DNA since."

Peter's eyes were wide in horror. "He told you?! Why?! Oh my god, I—I swear it's not a were-spider thing though! I don't just turn into a spider on the full moon or anything! I don't even turn into a spider monster without the poison! It's just that—well, yeah—I do have spider DNA and it affects me in certain ways, but I'm trying really hard to—to—um—"

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on there, kid." Tony put a hand on Peter's shoulder. That was a thing people did, right? "Relax there, buddy. I'm not accusing you of being a monster. In fact, I don't like the word monster unless we're talking about Hydra or Thor when he eats all the Pop Tarts."

"Oh, um, okay, Mr. Stark." Peter gulped. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize. Maybe I was being a bit too blunt. What I was trying to say was that Logan told me about that stuff, and it sort of reminded me of my science bro."

"Your—your science bro?"

"Yeah, Bruce. The Hulk. I think you know him." Tony smirked knowingly. "He's said good things about you."

Peter looked torn between shutting down in embarrassment and asking a million questions. "You've—uh—been talking to him lately?"

"Of course I have! You gave him the ability to speak again, which I've forgotten to thank you for. Now that we have proof Bruce is still in there, I'm looking for ways to turn him back, or at the very least make Bruce the dominant personality."

"Oh, that's great!"

"So I have some experience being friends with science geeks who have funky DNA."

Peter's eyes suddenly narrowed. "I see . . ."

Tony waited a moment to see if the kid had the insight or the guts to say the rest, but alas, he stayed silent. "So I was thinking, since you're a nerd, a superhero, and a friend of my best friend, why not continue the internship for real? Complete with any mentoring I can offer on your spider stuff."

"What." Peter gawked at him.

Tony was starting to feel an awkwardness he hadn't felt in years. "Okay, so it sounds crazy. I may not have powers, but I've spent plenty of time with people who do, so I've picked up a few things on how to deal with abnormal biology and whatever. And as for the science, I'm literally one of the top scientists in the world, so that one's a no brainer. Not that I'm trying to pressure you. I'm not as stupid as Pepper thinks. I'm just pointing out the facts. Selling myself. I'm a business man, after all."

Dear gosh. Tony was rambling. This was what happened when he faced his fears and decided to try to mentor kids better than his own father had done with him. He started rambling and making a fool of himself. And a Stark shouldn't make a fool of—

No, he wasn't going to let his father's ridiculous sayings get to him. Not today.

"You'd really do that for me?" Peter asked quietly, still looking shocked.

"Yeah. Duh. It's not that hard to believe, is it?" Tony laughed, then realized that Peter did in fact find it hard to believe. The grin slid off his face. "What's wrong? I already got the impression that you're a modest kid, but you don't need to be so surprised."

"I'm sorry, it's just that I already quit the Avengers once, and I don't want to disappoint you again."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "This isn't about the Avengers. This is about you. You want to be a superhero and a scientist, and you've got a successful and handsome role model right here who already owes you for a few things."

Slowly, a smile spread on Peter's face. "Well . . . when you put it that way . . . how can I refuse? This may or may not be my biggest dream come true."

Tony made a big show of rolling his eyes. "I think that's the longest I've ever spent trying to convince a new hire."

"I just don't want to be an extra burden."

"Kid, I wasn't lying back at the Science Fair. I've reached a point where I'm so good at science and superheroing that it's getting a tad repetitive. You're doing me a favor."

"With extra work?"

"With an excuse to make funky things that might blow up."

Peter's eyes glittered with excitement even as he eyed him suspiciously. "Have you spoken to my aunt about this yet?"

Tony blinked. "I knew there was something I forgot! Kids need parental consent or whatever, right? Fine, I'll go ask."

"Maybe don't mention the probability of explosions to her?"

"I never mention the probability of explosions to anyone except my science bros."

Peter beamed up at him.

Logan entered the room, instantly noting Peter's glare and crossed arms.

"You just can't stop messing with my life, can you?" Peter said sternly.

Logan shrugged. "In my defense, I thought Stark was drunk enough that he wouldn't remember. Guess I forgot how much alcohol normal people can handle when they're experienced enough."

"But why did you tell him?! He's one of my top three favorite heroes! You could have ruined everything!"

"Oh, come on, kid, he's Stark. He doesn't care what's in your blood." That was the only good thing Logan allowed himself to say about Stark: the man had less biases than most.

"But he could have! He could've decided he wanted nothing more to do with me! I mean, instead he offered me a real internship, but still!"

Logan frowned. This sort of fear was all too familiar to him. "You've faced the Mutant stigma too?"

Peter tilted his head, abruptly distracted from his anger. "I—I don't know. Maybe? Jameson certainly doesn't like me."

"Who?"

"J. Jonah Jameson? Head of the Daily Bugle?"

"That a band or something?"

Peter snorted out a laugh. "I wish you could say that to Jameson's face! But no, it's a newspaper here. I guess they stay mostly in New York, so I can see why you never heard of it before."

"And this Jameson guy hates you?"

"Well, yeah, sort of. I used to think he was faking it for publicity, but then I met him and . . . he's a bit of a nutcase."

Logan nodded and sighed. "I know exactly what you're talking about. Be glad it's only a local newspaper."

Peter smiled without humor. "When you're the 'friendly neighborhood Spider-Man', local means a lot."

"Right. How many people buy into his bull?" Logan was spending way too much time at the Institute lately. It was starting to be second nature to tone down his curses in front of kids.

"A fair amount."

"Anyone you know personally?"

Peter hesitated. Finally, they reached the source of the problem.

"Come on, spit it out."

"We're off topic now."

"No, we're not. You're upset I told Stark because other people you know hate Spider-Man. But let me guess, none of them know that you're Spider-Man?"

Peter continued to avoid his gaze. "It's still off topic."

"Kid, I've seen way too many kids at the Institute lose friends when their X genes kick in."

"It's not like that! Harry's just going through a hard time, and I actually am somewhat responsible for losing his dad."

Logan shook his head. That was, in fact, worse than most. "You can't start blaming yourself for every death—"

"He's not dead, he's Norman Osborn. He's the Goblin."

Logan blinked at him. "You're telling me that you're friends with the Goblin's kid?"

Peter shrugged helplessly. "We've been best friends since middle school."

Well, that was ironic. "Does he know that you're Spider-Man?"

"No."

"So you guys are still friends, but he blames Spider-Man for the Goblin?"

"Pretty much."

"Your life is insane."

"Says the guy with metal bones."

"Whatever. My point is that some people might call you a freak, some may even call themselves your friends, but your true friends won't care about your powers. Things might be iffy with that 'best friend' of yours, but at least you still have your aunt. You don't want to know how many kids at the institute have been disowned."

Was it Logan's imagination, or did the kid just turn pale? "Right," Peter muttered. "Lucky me."

Crud, Logan had never actually asked about the kid's home life. He only knew that he still lived with his aunt, but that didn't mean anything was fine. Logan cleared his throat. "Is everything okay at home?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's fine." Peter brushed the question aside as if it wasn't the most important one. "So you're trying to tell me that good people like Mr. Stark won't judge my spider side? Fine. But it doesn't stop them from looking at me just a little bit differently."

That did not reassure Logan, but he let it slide for now. He didn't even know what he could do if the aunt turned out to be trouble. "Different isn't necessarily bad, not when it helps them understand you better."

"Until everything is different," Peter mumbled sadly.

Maybe Logan should have quit when he was ahead months ago. He had plenty of experience with this stuff, but he still didn't have a clue how to deal with sticky social situations like this. Hence why he liked to stay on the road and be as far away from the Institute as possible.

"Look, kid, I just don't want you to end up as a loner like me. You've got good things going for you, and if you need a little nudge to realize the connections you already have, then I'm willing to do that. This whole ordeal showed who you can't trust. Now appreciate those you can."

Peter finally looked back at him. "I guess you're right."

"Good. You know how to contact me if you need help with anything. But try not to make it a rescue mission next time, hm?"

Peter smirked. "I can make no promises."

Logan huffed. "Kids nowadays. Can't trust 'em."

0o0

May handed Peter the bag of his clothes when she entered.

"Ready to come home?"

"Yup!" Peter smiled widely.

"You have something in your teeth, dear." May indicated the location by tapping her own mouth.

"Oh." Peter grabbed a tissue from his bedside table and worked the piece of food out. Or rather, the insect wing. He blushed a deep red as he hurriedly folded up the tissue. "Sorry. Dr. Connors gave me some crickets so I have enough protein to finish healing."

May nodded. "I guess you had some juice too?"

Peter ducked his head. "This morning, yeah."

"Well, whatever it takes to keep you healthy." She ruffled his hair. "Stark spoke to me on the way here."

Peter perked up. "Did he tell you?"

"That you're a delightful young man and it's an honor for him to know you? Yes."

"Did he say anything else? Something about an opportunity?"

May grinned. "Oh yes, there was that too. Something about a real internship, hm?"

Peter nodded, fidgeting with excitement. May hadn't seen him this excited in a while. "What did you tell him?"

"It can start after your therapy is over."

And suddenly Peter's face fell. "I have to wait that long?!"

"Peter, sweetie, you need recovery time like anyone else. Besides, I need some time to set some ground rules with him. I know a Stark internship has been your biggest dream, but he's still Tony Stark, a man with a certain reputation, and I need to make sure it will be safe."

"Of course it'll be safe! Please can we start a bit sooner? I'll be starting patrol again next week. How about then?"

May considered the proposal. She wasn't happy with him starting patrol either so soon, but Fury wanted to get Spider-Man back out there as soon as possible just in case Taskmaster had any suspicions about Peter. But Stark had promised to be a good mentor, and Peter did need a fatherly figure in his life who wasn't as stoic as Fury. "Maybe, if your therapy sessions go well, then you can start the internship in two weeks."

"Yes! Thanks May!" Peter leaned forward to hug her. This time was better than yesterday. He was more in control of his strength again. "You're the best!"

"You're the best here since you keep earning these opportunities. Okay, I'll let you get changed while I ask Dr. Connors a few things."

"I don't have any restrictions this time! I swear!"

"Let me just double check that. I'll be right back," May promised, and she noticed Peter's smile melt away; another unexpected mood swing. But hopefully he would cheer up again at home.

She left and headed to Connor's office. The door was open, so she knocked softly before stepping inside.

"Ah, May, good afternoon. Collecting your nephew?"

"Only if he's ready to go, Curt." Even though she'd only been involved in Spider-Man's healthcare for the past several months, she'd seen Connors often enough to be on a first name basis with him.

"He's all set. It only took so long because I needed to test for a whole sleuth of poisons. Taskmaster is entirely too capable of sabotaging any weapon he can't have for himself. Thankfully Peter is all clear." Connors smiled reassuringly.

May smiled back, but only halfheartedly. Knowing that other people could look at her nephew and see a weapon was not pleasant. "That's a huge relief. Anything else I should know?"

"Let's see." Connors consulted his records. "He's pretty much healed, so there's no need to limit his activities. It won't hurt to make sure he has enough calcium after all the bones he fractured. You already know about his mood swings, and you can't do much about those anyway. And I'm assuming he has plenty of insects and juice at home?"

May realized she didn't actually know where Peter kept the crickets. Presumably in his room, but she'd only seen the container once. "I think he has enough. I'll ask him. We certainly have juice though. I buy several gallons every time they go on sale."

"Good. Then that should be everything."

"What about his new hunting instincts? Should I give him more meat, less meat? Is there anything to do about that?"

Connors looked at her nonplussed. "I'm not sure I understand the question."

"Peter told me he was afraid of developing hunting instincts weeks ago. Now he has them. Is there any way to help him with that?"

Connors made a motion as if he was going to steeple his fingers, but without a second hand he was forced to abandon the move. "He did tell me he's afraid of going savage again. However, his instincts have been with him from the start, so I'm sure he's well used to them."

May's brow furrowed. "What do you mean? He's never acted like this before."

"Well, observations indicate that he's had instincts like this since the spider bite. His entire fighting style is influenced by his spider side, especially back in his early, inexperienced days. Peter's a bright boy, so I'm sure he already realized this and has dealt with it as he needed."

"You mean he's been fighting this the whole time and he never told me?" She thought of that nightmare Peter had had when he got the venom. He'd told her he'd dreamt he was hunting, but he never said it was a recurring thing. He let her think it was a one-time deal.

"Truth be told, it seems he hasn't spoken to anybody about it, really. Sometimes he tells me things, but a lot of my theories of his instincts are based mostly on observations. Perhaps seeing a therapist will do him some good. I saw one for several weeks after my experience as the Lizard, and it was great to get all those new emotions and feelings off my chest."

"You remember a lot of what the Lizard did?"

"Well of course, it was still me, after all, even if I was a little out of my mind." He chuckled lightly. "And while I did many things I regret now, there were also weeks where I was just roaming the sewers, hiding from Shield and exploring my new limits. I even got to hunt too, mostly rats and stray animals. It was almost like a vacation if you ignore the evil plotting parts."

May stared at him, at his nostalgic and toothy smile, and for the first time she could see the Lizard that he had once been. It sent a cold shiver up her spine. "That doesn't sound like a vacation."

"When you're part lizard, it does."

Was this really the man she was trusting to care for Peter's health? What sort of influence was he?! Maybe Stark would be an improvement from this, regardless of his bad habits.

"I guess I'll just take Peter home, then," May said awkwardly, stepping towards the door.

"Alright, I hope I don't see him for a while!" Connors laughed. "Doctor humor. He ends up here far too often."

May nodded. She could agree on that.