~ Chapter Forty-Eight - Chasing Happiness - 13.195 words~

[Bikanel Mountain Range, Greater Obel Lake Area, Sunday, 2nd of November, 3:23 pm]

"BINOCULARS. HAND OVER."

Lowering the binoculars at the impatient command, Squall wiped away the ash that was beginning to dirty the lenses before giving them back to Fujin. "Look to the northwest. Where the river curves out of sight," he offered, pointing the woman in the right direction.

"FUCK. GETTING AWAY."

"Can you tell what it is?" Raijin asked beside him.

"No. It's still miles away, hidden beneath the tree cover. It'll be out of sight soon." All he was able to make out was the wild swaying of the canopies as something lumbered on a northerly path, sundering the occasional tree on its way out of the valley. The distant violence of splintering wood echoed all the way up to their high perch atop the mountain range. "Whatever it is, it's big."

"No shit," Seifer cursed, eyeing the destruction with an awed whistle. They'd finally found their target. This definitely wasn't a natural phenomenon. The entirety of the valley below was burned to a cinder, blackened and still smoldering despite last night's heavy rainstorm. Thick columns of dark smoke rose into the air, the wind blowing in a gray ash that blanketed and smothered everything. A meandering path tore through the skeletal remains of the trees, but its width was hard to gauge from this distance. Whatever creature had created those tracks, it had gotten very close to their current position.

"This is closer than any of the earlier forest fires," Squall said thoughtfully, the man looking all business as he cross-referenced the markings he'd made on their map to the landscape before them. He pointed at the foot of the mountain range below them, where molten rock still glowed a bright red. "It looks like it tried to get up the mountainside here, but failed."

"Thank fuck," Seifer said with a shake of the head. If something like that had gotten the drop on them, with the benefit of surprise and the higher ground, things could've gotten bad. They'd only just crested the Bikanel mountain range after a long and exhausting day of climbing. Not the best condition for a hairy fight. "Doesn't look like it was too happy about failing."

"Then why isn't it looking for another way up, ya know?" Raijin asked, scratching his scruff.

"That's not what it was after," Squall mused, stepping dangerously close to the edge and staring down the steep incline that dropped off at their feet. Halfway down a steady stream of water gushed forth and crashed down the mountainside and partially onto the newly created lava. Angry steam hissed into the air where the two met, but most of the water still managed to flow down into the valley, the river carving an alternate path past the destruction before resuming its usual banks. "It tried to destroy the source of the river to stop the water flow."

Seifer hummed in agreement as he joined Squall's precarious perch and looked down as well. "It couldn't get high enough to reach. Whatever we're hunting, it's not a climber. Doesn't seem fast either."

"No need to be fast when you're a big motherfucker, ya know?"

"HATES WATER. HATES ICE," Fujin said thoughtfully, putting away her binoculars when she could no longer spot movement.

Seifer nodded. "Could be worth sneaking up on this thing. See what we're dealing with before we go all in."

"I could get Diablos to fly over and scout tonight," Squall offered. "He works best in the dark."

"DIABLOS, GF?"

"He's built for stealth, especially at night. He can tell me what he sees."

"You talk with your GFs?" Raijin asked in wonderment, eyebrows raised high.

"Not all of them. Diablos and Fenrir are the only ones who use language."

"WOLF. SPEAKS?"

Squall sighed at the same old topic resurfacing with the DC as well, recalling how Selphie had once run a poll amongst the gang for which was more unpleasant. Fenrir's eerie and disembodied voice that threatened sourcelessly from all around, or Diablos' incomprehensible, demonic language that was only ever spoken in condescending snarls. Fenrir had won the dubious honor. "When he feels like it," he replied as evenly as possible.

Laughing at Squall's dry delivery and his friends' incredulity, Seifer shook his head in amazement. Squall had been good as a cadet, but the longer they spent in the field together, the more he was starting to realize the man's exceptional grasp of magic and junctioning. He'd seen Squall do things these past few days he didn't even know were possible. "Something tells me the wolf will only talk to you though."

"He's not interested in humans," Squall said with a shrug.

Raijin laughed at that. "Like SeeD, like GF, am I right?"

"Hn, and what does that say about you, Beef Cake?" Seifer teased. "Isn't Ixion a ripped stallion? Kinda ditzy?"

"NOT WRONG," Fujin added with a grin. "CERBERUS. BIG. STUPID."

"Now you're just hurting my feelings, Sweet Cheeks."

Used to the ceaseless banter and insults that were par for the course with the DC, Squall stepped back from the edge of their lookout and considered their options. "It'll take at least several hours to take the chocobos down into the valley. We might not have enough daylight left."

"Wouldn't mind one last night on this side of the mountain, ya know?" Raijin said, willing Seifer to meet his gaze and back him up. "It's one big stinking ashtray down there."

Alerted by Raijin's unsubtle brow waggle, attempting to draw his attention, Seifer immediately realized the stakes. A burned out valley with next to no cover and near constant looming danger very likely meant no sex. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm fucking spent from the climb." It wasn't even a lie. They'd had to dismount and drag their reluctant chocobos all the way up the Hynedamned mountain, the landscape too overgrown and steep for safe passage while mounted. "If we gotta do it all over again, but fucking down, then I want a decent night's rest first."

"We'll lose a lot of time," Squall said with a small frown.

"We wouldn't be able to get to it tonight anyway, ya know? It's already wandered off too far. Besides, tracking the thing should be easy once we're down in the valley, right?" Raijin immediately jumped in. "And you can get your GFs to find it for us?"

Rolling her eye as Raijin glanced at her hopefully, Fujin decided to take pity on the two men and their rather obvious ploy. "CHOCOBOS. TIRED," she pointed out. "NIGHT TRAVEL. DOWNHILL. DANGEROUS."

"You heard the lady. Don't want to get our rides home killed just yet," Seifer doubled down, trying not to grin. "Plenty of chances for that once we catch up with the monster."

Glancing at their chocobos, all of the birds looking worse for wear, Squall sighed and nodded in agreement. He was itching for the fight to come, his impatience getting the better of him. Had he been alone, he would've already been hiking down the mountain. "Alright. Let's find a place to camp out of the ashfall."

"Let's backtrack to the plateau we passed," Seifer offered, trying not to sound too eager. "Should take half an hour tops. There's fresh water, enough space for the chocobos too."

"Sounds good, ya know?" Raijin said excitedly.

"AGREED. SADDLE UP."

Watching his two friends walk off to where their chocobos were hitched to the trees, Seifer chuckled under his breath at Raijin's poorly hidden intentions. During all their previous trips, Raijin and Fujin hadn't held back in the slightest. In fact this was probably the longest he'd stayed with them without having to listen to them screwing each other's brain out.

This time would be different though. He'd no longer have to awkwardly wait them out in his tent or wander off for a long and lonely walk. He had his own prey to lure in. Unfortunately the revenge he'd hoped to mete out was proving frustratingly elusive. He hadn't quite counted on just how averse Squall was to anyone overhearing his breathless moans. Or the squelches. He grinned. They'd get there. If he could get Squall off in a ballroom, he could definitely persuade him to give into pleasure out here as well, audience be damned. And Hyne, they needed it. Fun as last night's Triple Triad shenanigans had been, he'd sorely missed getting in some quality time with Squall.

"Come on, Princess. Let's move."

Giving up on trying to guess the creature's size by studying its tracks, Squall sighed and etched the path it had taken into his memory before turning around. He was met with an indulgent smile.

"Look on the bright side," Seifer said, leaning in close and brushing his lips against Squall's ear. "Means we'll finally get some alone time in our tent."

Heat twisted into Squall's stomach at the tempting prospect, effectively distracting him from one source of frustration and straight into another. His body had quickly grown accustomed to a certain amount of attention, craving Seifer's touch with increasing desperation as time went on. Between yesterday's Glacial Eyes, last night's storm and today's rough trek up the mountain, they were coming up on two full days without sex, which really shouldn't feel as long as it did.

"They'll hear us," he pointed out, forcing himself to be the voice of reason. He did not want to be overheard if he could help it.

Seifer hummed in understanding. "We'll just have to volunteer for firewood duty then," he said with a smirk, those green eyes roving his face and lips with obvious hunger. "Take things into the forest."

Squall frowned, not sold by such a transparent scheme, but before he could retort, Seifer stepped in close and pulled him in for a firm kiss. "I'm fucking you tonight, Princess," the bastard whispered against his lips, the man's palms hot against his lower back. "One way or another."

Squall's groin instantly stirred in response and he had to battle the urge to draw Seifer's lower lip into his mouth, his arousal threatening to circumvent his common sense before he reminded himself they weren't alone yet. Flicking his gaze to where Fujin and Raijin had already taken the reins of their mounts, he quickly pulled himself free of Seifer's hold when he was met with two intent gazes.

"No harm in a kiss, Princess," Seifer tried when the look of dazed arousal vanished from Squall's face, but the man was already walking off. Apparently making out like there was no tomorrow on a frozen lake was acceptable, but an innocent embrace and kiss was where Squall drew the line. Shaking his head, he followed Squall's quick march back to their chocobos. One of these days he'd get Squall to indulge in a simple kiss near his friends without the man acting like they were committing an inexcusable offense.

By the time Seifer had fully unhitched Chicken, Squall was already taking point and maneuvering Demon down the steep and narrow single file trail back into the forest. Just wonderful. Now he'd be stuck at eye level with a chocobo's backside for the next half hour instead of getting his boyfriend hot and bothered for the fun to come. Grabbing Chicken's reins, he readied himself for his friends' hazing as he walked over.

"Hey, I didn't say anything this time, ya know?" Raijin immediately said in self-defense.

"COMMANDER. SHY." Fujin's shiteating grin clearly meant she didn't feel too aggrieved over his plight. "GOOD LUCK."

"Don't need it," Seifer retorted with a grin of his own, refusing to feel discouraged. Squall wasn't nearly as shy as his friends made him out to be. When Fujin snorted, clearly unconvinced, he checked to make sure Squall was sufficiently far ahead of them before speaking. "Already got in a couple of rounds when we were camping by the river," he boasted. "Had my dick down Squall's throat within full view of the camp and everything." Enjoying the grossed out expression on Fujin's face far too much, he couldn't help but push further. "We had quite the session in the tent right next to yours as well."

Certain the idiot was taking huge liberties with the truth, Fujin quirked an incredulous brow. "NO. WAY."

"Ooooh yeah," Seifer teased as he waggled his eyebrows. "Let him pop my anal cherry and everything." He grinned at his friends' groans, not quite done yet. "I'll have to persuade him to wear his Commander gear next time he wants to take charge like that."

"POWER KINK," Fujin accused, not at all surprised Seifer would be into something like that.

"Hell's yeah," Seifer said promptly. "Haven't you seen us spar?"

Fujin rolled her eye. "KNEW IT."

"Yeah, Fu called it the other night, ya know. Said you guys use the word 'sparring' as code for sex," Raijin piped up.

"Not sex. Sweet, sweet foreplay," Seifer corrected, chuckling at the double eye-rolls that met him in response this time. "You guys know what it's like, right?"

Raijin pulled a face at that, as if slightly afraid at the prospect. "Nah man, Fu's kicks don't quite work that way, ya know?"

Seifer let out a deep laugh as the woman proceeded to do just that.

"RAIJIN, ROMANTIC. LONG FOREPLAY," Fujin said almost accusingly.

"Yeah, I can see that," Seifer joined in gleefully. "This big old bear needing some warming up before getting down to business."

"Nothing wrong with that," Raijin defended himself. "Fujin loves a slow build up, ya know?"

"Think she loves BDSM even more, buddy."

Squall glanced back over his shoulder as boisterous laughter rang out through the forest. Clearly the others were in no hurry. The exuberant sound made it impossible to hold onto his annoyance. Truly, he was annoyed with himself more than anything. He disliked betraying his more carnal interest in Seifer in front of others, much preferring to keep that part of their relationship private. The members of the Disciplinary Committee however seemed to have made a sport out of one-upping each other with bawdy conversation and vulgar tales.

It was a very different dynamic to his own group of friends, though he suspected Selphie would feel right at home. And as much as Irvine liked to present himself as an unrepentant player, Squall was coming to suspect it was far more bluster than truth. After having spent some time with true perverts, he was starting to learn the difference. Zell would stutter and blush no doubt, as he did whenever Selphie and Irvine got too handsy. He drew a blank on Quistis however. He could equally imagine her shaming the Disciplinary Committee into proper behavior or beating them at their own game in a prim voice.

Another loud guffaw sounded in the air, cutting through his thoughts. Raijin this time and going by the closing distance, they'd started down the trail as well. Glad he wasn't privy to whatever they were discussing, Squall huffed as he kept his eyes on the treacherous path back down the mountain. At least this trip was proving to be a good exercise in restraint before he'd have to navigate how to be Seifer's boyfriend in the real world. He knew what to look out for now and what might come flying out of Seifer's mouth even in polite company. It gave him a headache just thinking about it, so he chose to focus on the path ahead instead.

Breathing in the crisp air, he tightened his hold on Demon's reins and listened out for any signs of danger amidst the bird song and rustling leaves. The others definitely weren't being quiet, so anything big enough looking for its next meal would immediately be pointed in the right direction. This reckless lack of stealth and caution had persisted throughout their entire trip, but he hadn't had the heart to silence their cheerful banter. This wasn't a mission. This was the happiest he'd ever seen Seifer.

It felt as if they were in a world of their own, far away from civilization or anyone who might care what he did or who he kissed. It was liberating in a way he'd never experienced before and already he could feel his tightly held control slip. Fujin and Raijin hardly blinked anymore whenever Seifer accosted him, using it as fuel to tease them but nothing more. As if it was completely normal and expected. No one here looked to him for leadership. There were no schedules, no meetings, no subordinates. No one to judge him.

Realizing he was smiling, he smoothed his face back into a neutral expression and maintained a careful pace as he scouted the path ahead and pulled Demon along behind him. The descent was more awkward and tricky than the climb had been, especially along what was essentially a glorified game trail, overgrown with brush that obscured any possible pitfalls. It was annoyingly slow going, but the DC didn't seem to mind, happily chatting away behind him.

Reminded all over again how badly he wanted to kiss the bastard at the sound of his laugh, Squall had to make a conscious effort not to rush down the mountain trail and expedite the travel time to their campsite for the night. The trek down was too treacherous for haste, forcing a tedious pace. By the time they finally emerged into the flat clearing they'd passed on their way up the mountain, the late afternoon sun was bathing the glade in soft light, the day nearly at its end.

The chocobos immediately wandered over to the small stream of water that clattered down the mountainside and into the glade to quench their thirst. Feeling his own thirst more keenly, he ignored Seifer's intent gaze and headed over to the mountain stream as well to freshen up. The man had been staring at him with obvious interest the second they'd left the single file trail and had been back within view of each other.

Seifer sighed as Squall refused to indulge even his most innocent attempts at flirtation. Following Squall to the water, he settled for rinsing off the sweat, ash and dirt that had accumulated throughout the day while ogling his boyfriend's ass. Even when covered in filth and at the end of a long, taxing day, Squall looked good enough to eat. And he damned well planned to. Tempering himself, he tried to get through the next half hour by rushing through all the chores that came with setting up camp. They all seemed to work in unison, setting up their tents in record time, without any of the usual banter or distraction, anticipation filling the air. The DC was on a mission for once.

Seifer kept his gaze on Squall while he worked, wondering whether the man was aware of the unspoken goal of the night and was simply ignoring all the horny looks that were flying across the glade. Raijin wasn't exactly subtle in his admiration of Fujin and Fujin wasn't even bothering with the usual smacks across Raijin's head in retaliation either. Sadly Squall avoided all his attempts at a sneak preview, but a heated thrill surged between them every time their gazes met. By the time they were done and all four of them joined at the hastily installed fire pit, Seifer was almost at his wit's end. Any longer and he'd just drag Squall into their tent and get right down to business.

Across from him, Raijin looked over their camp in satisfaction with crossed arms, clearly just as eager. "Alright, so uh, I guess that's it. Just need to whip up a meal, feed the chocobos and get some firewood, right? Enough to last us through the night." He cleared his throat with an awkward cough, scratching his hair as he failed to sound nonchalant. "I guess Fu will stay here and feed the chocobos while I get the meal prep going, ya know?"

Fujin snorted at Raijin's rather pathetic attempt, not having the patience for such subterfuge herself. After three days without any release she was more than ready to take what she wanted. She grabbed the two wood slings that lay ready next to the fire pit and tossed them at Seifer. "YOU TWO. FUCK OFF. NOW."

Catching the slings, Seifer chuckled at his friend's no nonsense command. "Don't worry, Sweet Cheeks, we'll take our time. Might just be long enough for you to get to second base with Mr. Romance over there," he teased, enjoying Fujin's glare far too much.

Met with Seifer's lecherous eyebrow waggle and nod towards the forest, Squall frowned as it dawned on him that Seifer had shared their intentions with the DC beforehand, circumventing the need for a ruse entirely. And now Fujin was giving them both the stink eye, shooing them away brusquely while Raijin turned beet red. It would seem the couple had plans of their own.

"No time like the present, Princess," Seifer said, his fingers itching to divest Squall of as many clothes as possible.

Squall scowled at Seifer's unrepentant poise, the man's brow tipped in invitation. Fujin's impatient glare left him no choice but to follow after Seifer even though he felt more inclined to throttle the man.

"Seriously though, do bring back some wood, guys!" Raijin called out after them.

Seifer laughed and waved over his shoulder without looking back, keeping his eyes solely on Squall. "And you don't forget about the food, Beef Cake! We'll be working up an appetite!"

Squall inwardly groaned at the exchange. Despite the DC's penchant for depravity, he'd hoped to manage at least some level of discretion, but clearly Seifer didn't feel one lick of remorse as he walked beside him with a spring in his step. That handsome mouth pulled into a lopsided grin as the bastard studied him.

"Believe me, we're better off clearing out for a bit," Seifer teased, not too worried about the persistent frown that marred Squall's brow. "Nothing kills the mood faster than overhearing those two going at it."

Squall wished he could declare his mood already thoroughly killed, but even now he couldn't help the skip of his heart as Seifer's eyes raked over him with obvious lust. Annoyed with himself all over again, he grabbed one of the slings from Seifer's hands and set a course further into the forest.

"We could always start with the fun part."

Squall huffed at the tempting suggestion and shot Seifer a pointed look. "We can't."

"Hn. You're probably right," Seifer conceded with a lecherous grin. The second he got his hands on Squall, that would be the end of any wood gathering for the night, and they both knew it.

Doing his best to try and focus on the task at hand, Squall ignored the feeling of Seifer's gaze burning into his backside and began the tedious task of searching for sufficiently dry branches and wood. He estimated they still had about an hour of dim light before dusk set in fully and painted their surroundings in darkness. The chirping of crickets started to fill the forest, joined by a few early cries of nocturnal creatures. This high up the mountain there'd be no more of the mild nights they'd enjoyed so far. They really did need wood for a fire or else the DC was in for an unpleasant night, going by the crisp chill that clung to the air already.

He glanced back to where Seifer was trailing a small distance behind him and he was immediately rewarded with a seductive grin. Seifer's wood sling wasn't nearly as full as his own, giving away the man's very obvious lack of focus. Feigning ignorance, he directed his gaze ahead and doubled down on his search.

As they picked their way between the trees, Seifer shook his head in amusement at the intensity with which Squall applied himself to their menial task. He wanted to tackle Squall to the forest floor and have his way with the man already, but as he should have guessed, Squall was taking this chore way too fucking seriously and he knew Squall would only get pissy if he tried to instigate things too quickly. Instead he let the mounting tension sit between them as they picked their way through the forest, their eyes drawn to each other despite Squall's poor attempts at composure. He liked the way Squall was getting increasingly antsy, betraying just how much this delay was costing him.

When Squall bent over to pick up another piece of wood however, offering him a fine view of a leather-clad ass, he was the one left suffering. He could practically taste Squall in the air. He needed to breathe in the scent of the man's arousal, nose deep into those dark curls and feel Squall's hard cock down his throat. The thought alone made his pants tighten around his groin.

"You do realize I could be sucking you off right now, right?"

"All the more reason to move faster. We're losing daylight," came the dishonest reply, but Seifer could see the lift to the corners of Squall's lips, the guilty wandering of the man's gaze. The sexiest fucking cocktease he'd ever laid eyes on.

He sent the man a lopsided smile. "You mean all the more reason to lose those pants of yours. I want to actually see your face when you come down my throat."

Seifer watched the subtle changes in Squall's body language, how the man adjusted his sling of firewood on his shoulder and spread his feet ever so slightly to take a firmer stance. Squall's eyes glimmered with challenge. An invitation.

"Make me."

Seifer flashed a grin and tossed his own sling to the ground as he advanced. Only Squall would make him fight for the privilege of giving him a blow job. Moving right into a tackle, he almost managed to lift Squall off his feet, but the man was too quick and twisted himself free. Arms knocked aside, Seifer chuckled when he barely avoided a knee planted into his stomach. As usual Squall wasn't holding back, no matter the final reward.

Squall tried not to be swayed by the sultry grin that appeared on Seifer's lips, tempting him to kiss that mouth into submission. Instead he fought back with ruthless punches and kicks, using every edge he had against Seifer's superior strength. He evaded the few attempts made to tackle him to the ground, but still Seifer was backing him further and further up the hill, the bastard not even trying to gain the higher ground. The second his back impacted against a hard surface of bark and a rough hand groped his ass instead of inflicting more injury, he knew he had to act fast. He let himself be pinned to the tree behind him, lifted his feet off the ground and wrapped his legs around Seifer's hips.

"Fuck, I like it when you get impatient."

Suppressing a shiver at the baritone whisper spoken into his ear, Squall pushed back against the tree with all his might and sent them both toppling down the incline. Taking advantage of Seifer's surprise, he rolled them around and quickly maneuvered himself on top before the man could catch his bearings. The second their gazes met, Seifer's colorful curses gave way to laughter.

"Feeling feisty, huh?" the man asked, before Squall was bucked up into the air and deposited roughly onto the forest floor. "Gonna make you pay for that move."

Squall snorted and kicked Seifer square in the chest before the man could cover him bodily. "You can try."

Choking out another laugh even as he fought to catch his breath, Seifer jumped after Squall and landed them in a wild jumble of limbs. They rolled and thrashed in the fallen autumn leaves, fighting to get out on top, every kick, punch and throw woven together into a language only he and Squall understood. Halfway through he realized he was smiling like a lunatic. The left side of his ribcage ached from Squall's earlier kick and he could feel the bruises starting to form. To an outsider their tussle probably looked gnarly, but he could see the shine to Squall's eyes, the upturned corners of those lips, making his heart race.

Panting harshly, Squall passed his tongue along his lower split lip and tested the sore flesh where Seifer had knocked into him during their uncontrolled tumble. A faint taste of iron filled his mouth, his pulse and breath fast in his chest. Seifer had fallen into a crouch before him, arms out and ready to pounce the second he moved.

He rolled out of the way right as the man made a dangerous move to entrap him. Immediately Seifer dove after him, tackling him into a headlock against the ground far more quickly than he'd accounted for, pressing up into him from behind. He struggled fiercely but uselessly, his scrambling feet finding no decent purchase. A sharp elbow driven into Seifer's stomach did nothing to help wriggle himself free.

"I've got you now, Princess," the bastard whispered into his ear teasingly, before proceeding to shove handfuls of crispy leaves up his shirt instead of the expected retaliation or seduction. His surprise at the childish move drew a breathy laugh from his lips before he could think to curb the impulse. The sound rang out clearly against their wild panting and Seifer stilled behind him. Immediately self-conscious, Squall was given no chance to excuse away the moment when Seifer rolled them around and held his gaze with an amazed, beaming smile.

Looking down into slightly widened grey-blue eyes, Seifer felt his heart kick up into a rapid drum. He'd thought he couldn't possibly fall in love any deeper, but here Squall was, defying his every expectation at every turn.

"Hyne, I love you."

Squall flushed with heat, but before he could react, Seifer crushed their lips together in a passionate kiss, the man's confession bouncing around his rapidly scattering thoughts. Seifer's tongue dove deep into his mouth, one hand cradling the side of his face as the man's other hand groped his ass with urgency. His heart was a thunderous roar against his chest, the elation from their horseplay growing tenfold, tugging his lips up at the corners even as Seifer's hands and mouth turned his mind to jelly.

Wild, uncontrollable flutters erupted in his stomach as he returned Seifer's kiss with a fierce hunger and wrapped his arms tightly around the man's back. Seifer was grinding them together with firm rolls of his hips, the man's tongue twining around his with enough force to make him lightheaded. The feel of Seifer's erection pressing into him had his eyes rolling back with quickly mounting pleasure. He wouldn't last long like this, his body reaching for orgasm the moment Seifer shoved a hand down the back of his pants and began to massage a finger against his entrance in time with every thrust.

Seifer let out a pleased hum as Squall fell apart under his touches, the man's hole twitching greedily against his fingers. He wanted to sink into that tight heat badly, but first he'd treat himself to the taste he'd been craving all day. Pulling his hand free from Squall's pants, he kept the man distracted with heavy kisses as he blindly groped his way down to work on Squall's belt and pants. As soon as the obstructing leather was yanked down to Squall's thighs, he leaned back to enjoy the view of Squall's freed cock. Hard and weeping with precome, against a backdrop of dark curls and firm abs. A sight he'd sorely missed and could no longer wait to feel. Plunging the hard length into his mouth, he smiled at the gasp that spilled from Squall's lips.

Arching into Seifer's motions, Squall felt his body immediately seize up in the beginnings of orgasm. The feel of Seifer's hot mouth, enveloping him in slippery friction from tip to base, was more than he could handle after several days spent hungering for the man's touch. While out on the trail he'd fantasized about this exact view, his cock sliding deep into Seifer's throat while green eyes held his gaze, spurring him on. His erection throbbed at the sight of Seifer's lips pulling into a smile around his cock and within seconds he was coming hard.

Seifer groaned at the look of absolute rapture on Squall's face, the man's pupils blown wide and lips trembling. Swallowing down Squall's come with luxuriant swirls of his tongue, he snuck a hand underneath his waistband and closed it around his own aching cock. Fuck if he wasn't every bit as pent up as Squall was. Taking in every little sign of Squall's pleasure, he desperately pumped into his fist as he devoured Squall with his eyes, but it was nowhere near enough.

A shiver traveled the length of Squall's body as Seifer's mouth slid off him. Eyes glued to Seifer, he was met with a look of clear intent as Seifer leaned back onto his knees and unbuttoned his pants with rushed moves. The telltale bulge beneath constricting jeans was quickly replaced with an unimpeded view of Seifer's boxers, the fabric pulled obscenely tight and wet at the tip. The sight made him want to mouth Seifer's length through the fabric until it was soaked all the way through. His lips parted when Seifer's cock sprang free from its confinement, hard and flushed red. Unwilling to waste any words on his desires, he moved as soon as Seifer began to tug at his pants and pushed the man down onto his back. Pouncing on top, he smirked at the wide-eyed surprise that met him before he ran his tongue firmly along Seifer's cock.

When Squall took his full length into his mouth, Seifer's hips jerked up of their own accord. It was fucking heaven to feel Squall's tongue kneading his length and lapping at his swollen tip. His whole body sang as the lion came out to play, lunging at him with ravenous force. The smug gleam to Squall's eyes would be his fucking undoing.

His breaths came out hard and his abs tensed. He groaned loudly every time Squall stretched those plush lips around his cock and shoved it in whole. Already he was about to explode at how fucking sexy Squall was. Take it, he thought as he thrust his groin against Squall's lips again. His length was already entirely engulfed, the man's head bobbing upward with his sharp thrust. The lustful moan that reverberated against his cock in reply had him let out a mantra of curses along with Squall's name as he finally shot his load.

Squall nearly ran out of air as he rode out Seifer's uncomfortably long orgasm and swallowed several lashings of thick come. Seifer's body had gone completely rigid beneath him, those usually provocative eyes clenched firmly shut as Seifer arched into his mouth without regard for his need for oxygen. When he pulled free, he sucked in deep, ragged breaths and leaned back to admire the aftermath of his work. Seifer was panting just as hard as he was, sweat beading along the man's brow despite the chill onset of night. There was no trace of Seifer's usual smirks, filling Squall with satisfaction at having rendered Seifer so utterly and completely speechless. Finally he was beginning to muster enough skill to reciprocate in kind and inflict the same level of pleasure he'd been receiving since day one.

When green eyes twitched open to peer at him, a soft, delirious chuckle tumbled from Seifer's lips that rekindled his need all over again. Moving in over Seifer on all fours, he dove down and drew that wicked mouth into another dizzying kiss before either of them had fully caught their breaths.

Still riding high on euphoria, Seifer pulled Squall in close and kissed him back with equal ferocity. Fuck, Squall was sexy like this, all honest and demanding. He thrust his still hard cock up against Squall, but was met only with the infuriating feel of Squall's leather pants that had ridden back up the moment Squall had moved in on top.

Trapping the eager lion in his arms, he smiled into their kiss and rolled them around until he was on top again. Squall didn't fight his manhandling this time and just kissed him back with a single-mindedness that left him red hot with desire. Calloused hands moved underneath his jacket and shirt and traveled along the bare skin of his back, tugging him close. As if this was all the man had been able to think about all day.

Pushing up just far enough to grab hold of the man's boots, he threw them to the side before yanking the man's pants and underwear off as well. The second he had Squall naked from the waist down, he quickly swooped down to renew their kiss and rolled them around again until Squall was stretched out on top of him. Unzipping Squall's bomber jacket, he pushed up the man's white shirt to reveal even more naked skin. Their cocks slid together as they moved their hips into each other, the resulting stutter to Squall's breath pulling Seifer's grin wider. Unapologetic moans fell from Squall's lips every time he ground up into him, a faint smile curling the corners of Squall's mouth. So fucking breathtaking, more uninhibited and at ease in his own skin than Seifer had ever seen him, their night on Avalanche included.

Fumbling for the single-use pack of lube in his back pocket, Seifer hastily tore it open and coated his cock in the slippery substance. With his other hand in place on Squall's buttocks, he slowly guided Squall down onto his length without ever breaking their kiss. He hissed at the intense friction and the all-encompassing warmth. After a single stumbling heartbeat, he let his hands rove and caress Squall's back and ass cheeks as they settled into an intimate intensity he'd only ever explored with Squall. They kissed as deeply as they fucked, their lips and tongues mimicking the slick passion of sex. Squall was moaning hungrily and was rocking back onto his every thrust with sensuous rolls of his hips.

"You feel so fucking good," he said with a moan, his eyes flitting over Squall's face. Squall looked down at him with panting breaths and heavy lidded eyes that grew more and more heated with every plunge onto his cock. Too fucking stunning.

Weaving his fingers through short, blond hair, Squall tugged sharply and hissed Seifer's name in need. The man hummed a pleased groan and kept murmuring inaudible things into his skin, biting and nibbling and licking at his earlobe and neck. Strong hands traveled down to massage his buttocks and tugged them apart just before the man thrust back in. His insides burned hot as he met Seifer move for move, mindless with lust. He was granted a single playful grin before Seifer pulled out slightly and speared right back into him, settling into a faster pace that sparked even more pleasure. He didn't bother tempering his voice, his moans spilling heavily into their kisses as Seifer's cock hit him just right. Far from anyone who might take offense, he was finally free to chase every urge he'd had to suppress.

Seifer's breathless curses and moans brushed hotly against his lips in return, their faces only an inch apart. He felt so close to that final tipping point, to absolute ecstasy, yet it remained just out of reach. He could feel Seifer was close too, their bodies climbing together in a perfect dance. Their surroundings faded from his awareness, the rhythm of Seifer's cock his only anchor as he spun away and was finally thrown to the mercy of all-consuming pleasure. He moaned loudly, his balls and ass clenching tight as he came hard. Seifer rode him through it with drawn-out thrusts that intensified every last pulse of his spurting length.

Savoring the view, Seifer thrust in slowly, so close himself. He arched up to reclaim those lips just as he felt the spasms shoot along his shaft seconds after Squall's orgasm, his come flooding into the man. He kept rocking into him, the slide much slicker now. He pulled out fully to feel familiar wetness trail out before thrusting back in, pushing his come even deeper into Squall. Fuck, he loved filling Squall with his jizz.

Squall groaned in appreciation as Seifer jerked against him with a final few thrusts, their breaths colliding together heavily. Not ready yet for any of this to end, he memorized every minute detail of Seifer like this, ranging from the sound of his voice to the little frown that knitted his brow, until finally the man stilled below him. A hand rose to card through his hair and rested at his temple with lazy strokes as he let his forehead rest against Seifer's. Squall's wildly leaping pulse refused to settle as green eyes looked into his, that mouth pulling into a smile.

He answered with a smile of his own despite the mad jumble of his emotions, unable to quite believe it was possible to feel this way. Not even in his wildest imagination had he ever expected to tie himself to someone so completely and irrevocably, all of himself invested. His heart jumped in his throat as Seifer's gaze bore into his, their breaths evening out as the passion of sex faded and made way for a weighty silence that hung between them.

Slowly coming down from his high, Seifer was utterly entranced by the faint smile that still lingered on Squall's lips. It began to mellow along with the intensity of their encounter, and even as the occasional lazy, sated shudder traveled the length of Squall's body, he could see Squall's mind kicking into gear. He couldn't help a smirk as Squall's eyes slowly started to gain that oh so familiar edge. Even with a dick buried in his ass, Squall was still getting lost in his own head. Probably had a thing or two to do with what he'd said just before falling headlong into lust.

"You don't have to say any–"

"I love you too." The words tumbled from Squall's lips, as earnest as he could make them. He refused to be the only coward, not about to let Seifer believe his feelings were any less profound.

Dumbstruck at the firm declaration, Seifer held on tighter to the man in his hold as a giddy warmth flushed him head to toe. There was no fucking way Squall had just sprung those words on him so unflinchingly. The Lion of Balamb, certified loner and hard-ass. The cadet of his teenage years who didn't need or like anyone. But who apparently loved a good-for-nothing bastard like him. It was beyond anything he could have ever hoped for. Beyond anything he'd ever deserved. "You have no fucking idea what you do to me."

Squall held Seifer's gaze before pressing a kiss to that smiling mouth. "I can make an educated guess."

More than pleased with the implication that Squall was in just as deep as himself, Seifer nuzzled his nose close to Squall's. "Hn, that so?"

Squall chose to reply with a deep kiss rather than pointless words. He doubted he'd ever be able to properly voice his feelings anyway. As he answered Seifer's every lick and nibble eagerly, it occurred to him how simple this felt. Hard-won but natural. Inevitable. He didn't feel the need to analyze either himself or Seifer or question the sincerity of the words spoken between them, for once unburdened by the internal conflict that had accompanied him all his life. All he wanted was to feel Seifer's lips against his, preferably tugged into a smile. They kissed as if they had all the time in the world. No hurry, no finish line, no need for anything but closeness.

Unwilling to relinquish the slow meshing of their lips, Seifer rolled them onto their side and tucked himself away when he slid out of Squall, not bothering to deal with the mess they'd made. All he cared about was Squall's fingers slowly traveling up the back of his neck as the man looked at him with a languid happiness that trapped the breath in his lungs. He'd never seen Squall this fucking joyful, and it was all because of him. Because they were madly, stupidly in love. Unbelievably, despite Squall's deeply reticent and cautious nature, the man had met him halfway without hesitance. Not so long ago he would've cringed at having anyone confess their love for him, but now he felt like the luckiest bastard alive.

He grinned as Squall made no move to end their lazy making out either, despite the onset of night and the man still being very much half naked and absolutely covered in come. Thank Hyne Squall didn't mind the encroaching cold, not once protesting as he ventured his hands underneath Squall's jacket and shirt and hiked up the fabric in the process, exposing even more skin. Sheltered underneath the canopies of trees, night fell around them quickly out here in the forest, giving Squall's pale skin almost a luminescence that stood out against the darkening shadows. Breathtakingly beautiful as always.

He would've been content to spend the entire night tangled together like this, indulging in the kisses and touches that passed between them, but Squall began to stir in his arms much sooner than he cared for. Stalling with a more demanding kiss, he managed to distract Squall only briefly before the man moved out of his hold. He made sure to let his fingers trail against Squall's retreating form for as long as possible, before propping himself onto his elbows to get a better look at Squall's exposed and very well-toned backside. He greatly enjoyed the view,especially when Squall bent over to pull on his leather pants.

Stifling a smile at Seifer's predictable wolf-whistle, Squall zipped up his pants despite the resulting discomfort of both wetness and dry crust and looked down at his soiled jacket and t-shirt with resignation. Not much he could do about that now. He glanced back in the direction of camp, but couldn't muster any great urgency to draw their time alone to a close. Not when the DC had plotted and schemed and had kicked him out of camp. After days of continuous company, unending conversation and no privacy to speak of, he was desperate for some peace and quiet. And he didn't want to give up on this close intimacy just yet. The firewood could wait.

Seifer cocked a surprised eyebrow at him when he moved to lie back down on the forest floor, but he silenced any comments on his selfish choice by leaning in for a kiss. Seifer's expression brightened instantly and the man wordlessly let him settle beside him, both of their gazes turning to the sky as they lay back on a bed of autumn leaves.

Seifer smiled as he was reminded of the times they used to crash after an intense spar, sprawled out on the ground side by side, too spent for anything other than speechless co-existence. It was about as peaceful as things used to get between them back then. Maybe the fight had just been an excuse for the closeness afterwards. Just as he had back then, he let himself appreciate the beautiful view. Swaying treetops with a myriad of rustling leaves, dark against the night sky that was adorned with a scattering of stars. He inched his hand closer until the back of his fingers brushed against Squall's. That small connection tethered them even closer, making his heart soar with elation. He breathed in the cold night air deeply and let the peace of the moment suffuse him.

They lay in silence and listened to the sounds of nocturnal critters stirring awake around them. A distant owl. All manner of insects. Taking in the magnitude of the universe laid out before them, Seifer felt the huge shift that had occurred in his life even more keenly. Squall loved him. He closed his eyes as a strong wave of giddiness crashed through him. He was fucking drunk on this feeling. The most amazing person on the fucking planet loved him. Just as he loved Squall.

"Fuck, this feels good," he spoke softly.

Squall intimately understood Seifer's meaning, something that could never be fully captured into words. The full breadth of his feelings was too big to contain within himself. It spilled onto his lips, tugging at the corners, his fingers interlacing more tightly with Seifer's as they lay close together. His mind wandered and touched on all the unlikely events that had led them here, but his usual melancholy failed to find any purchase within him. After years of introspection he finally understood that to feel at peace was more than just the absence of anxiety. It was the certainty that he finally belonged, that everything was exactly as it should be, in this one perfect moment.

Turning his head to take in Squall's profile, Seifer smiled at the relaxed calm he saw on Squall's face. Mere weeks ago he never would have imagined something like this. He'd gone from fucking things up beyond belief during their reunion to somehow charming Squall right back into his bed in the days after. Even offering Squall Avalanche didn't seem like the huge fuck up he'd imagined it to be any longer. Regardless of how inappropriately that night had played out, he could no longer regret it. Not when it meant they'd ended up here. And Squall had to have felt at least some attraction for him to have surrendered to lust the way he had. He looked back up at the night sky. Maybe it had been the same for both of them that night. An old attraction finally unleashed, the drugs freeing them from their unforgiving past. Hell, Squall might've been fantasizing about him for years.

"How long have you been attracted to me?" he asked, idly fiddling with Squall's silver ring.

Not yet in the mood for conversation, Squall wanted to ignore the sudden question, but he was met with a curious lift to Seifer's brow when he glanced beside him. "Since our night on Avalanche," he replied, unsure why there was any doubt as to the answer. "When else?"

A slight frown appeared on Seifer's brow. As predictable as the answer should've been, he still felt a stab of surprise, especially in light of what Squall had just confessed to. "Nothing before then? Not even a single fantasy?" He forced himself to quell his budding misgivings. "No long showers rubbing one out while thinking of your sexy as fuck sparring partner?"

Not fooled by Seifer's levity, Squall was certain he'd detected a hint of disappointment. As if Seifer's ego needed any more stroking this far into their entanglement. "No," he replied, not about to indulge such foolishness. But then the far too specific phrasing of Seifer's words sank in. "Did you?"

Seifer huffed, realizing Squall was even more clueless than he'd thought. He'd hinted several times now at his longstanding attraction for the man. "After I figured out which way I swung… I got off thinking about you a lot more than I should probably admit to," Seifer replied with a soft shake of his head. "Definitely more than I should have considering how we left things after the war," he added more soberly. "That first night… I didn't mean to take advantage of you."

"You didn't," Squall immediately replied with a small frown. While he wasn't sure how to feel about having starred in Seifer's past fantasies, he was certain about that much at least.

Seifer sighed. He didn't want Squall to make any excuses for him. He knew what he'd done, the memories of that night still leaving a bad taste as he revisited them. "What would you call it then?" he asked bluntly. "I pretty much goaded you into taking drugs and held you down when you tried to push me off. That's pretty clear cut."

Blindsided by that awful interpretation of what they'd shared, Squall moved to sit up and held Seifer's gaze. "I decided to accept that pill," he said firmly. "That night happened because I liked it."

"Did you? At first?" Seifer asked back, moving to sit up too. The last thing he wanted was for Squall to ease his guilt again without any regard for himself. "You didn't respond when I kissed you. I should've stopped right then and there."

Squall frowned at Seifer's firm belief that he'd wronged him somehow and thought back to the moment Seifer had made his move. How alarming yet amazing it had felt. He didn't remember pushing Seifer away or refusing his kiss. He only remembered being pulled under a haze of startling lust. "You didn't force me," Squall said with absolute conviction, certain Seifer would have stopped if he'd told the man to. "I was just confused. I didn't even know I could like something like that."

Seifer raised an eyebrow, not quite sure he followed. "You mean being with a guy?"

Squall hesitated, unsure how to even begin to describe his preferences. "…No," he began, his stomach squirming as he realized the topic they'd stumbled onto. "Gender doesn't come into it." When Seifer's brow furrowed thoughtfully, the man waiting him out, he knew he had no choice but to elaborate further, even if it meant admitting he was even more of an anomaly than Seifer probably already suspected. "I didn't know I could enjoy sex," he began, wanting Seifer to know the true reason he'd started down this road. "Without love… sex doesn't work for me. That's why I slept with you that night."

Seifer's heart beat strongly against his chest, his thoughts grinding to a full stop at Squall's declaration, but then the sluice gates opened. He'd witnessed it himself, how Squall had been unable to fake simple intimacy with Rinoa because he hadn't loved her. Yet that first night, Squall had wanted everything. From raw, fast-paced fucking to intimate kisses and an arresting sense of closeness. A rush coursed through his entire body as he realized the look to Squall's eyes that night had been real. The look that had tortured him in the days after. That he'd wanted so badly to see again. He'd been so fucking blind. Rinoa had even tried to tell him as much. Yet the truth was so baffling, he still had trouble believing it.

"You loved me even then?" he asked softly.

"…Apparently," Squall said, trying to calm his quickening pulse at Seifer's continued disbelief. He couldn't help but wonder how long he would've remained ignorant without the drugs. Possibly forever. Their reunion had been messy and painful and amazing all at once. In hindsight, his every choice that night had been inspired by desperation, an unwillingness to let Seifer go after finally finding him again. He knew now he would've paid any price. "The Avalanche forced… honesty."

Seifer cursed under his breath, utterly in awe and brimming with a kind of happiness he'd never experienced before. However subconscious or repressed, it seemed crazy Squall had somehow already loved him back then. Maybe even before that. Hell, maybe things hadn't been all that different for himself. He hadn't ever fucked someone the way he'd fucked Squall that night. He'd tried hard to deny the truth afterwards, but in hindsight everything was so glaringly obvious. The second he'd had Squall in his bed, he'd made love to the man. Moving in close, he placed soft, lingering kisses to Squall's lips. "I'm glad you took that pill then," he confessed in between kisses.

Snorting softly at the rapid change of heart, Squall felt the knot of tension in his stomach loosen when Seifer coaxed them to lie back down onto the forest floor, face to face, and instigated a toe-curling kiss that melted away any remaining uncertainty. Seifer didn't seem put off, obviously pleased even with his admissions. As if it was perfectly okay for him to be this way. It was a risky approach to love, and not one he'd ever have chosen. All in or nothing. Then again, falling for someone like Seifer required boldness no matter what. Settling into the man's hold, he let himself be swept away by the feel of Seifer's lips against his.

Basking in Squall's indulgence of him, Seifer paused long enough to regain his breath. He couldn't believe how easily Squall was answering his every question, belying years of trying to get the guy to acknowledge him and grant him even the simplest of reactions. This sudden honesty made him greedy for more, his head swarming with questions. There was still so much he wanted to know and he didn't want the spell that he'd somehow managed to cast on Squall to end. He ran gentle fingertips along Squall's jaw and pressed another soft kiss to the man's lips. "Why did you empty that bottle? The morning after."

Squall frowned as Seifer snuck in another difficult question in between languid and dizzying kisses, the dissonance pulling him off kilter. So much for peace and quiet. It seemed Seifer was determined to dissect and study every little instance that had led him into Seifer's arms. He briefly considered telling the more flattering lie, that it had pained him to hurt Rinoa. While not entirely untrue, it's not what had driven him to drink himself into oblivion. He sighed and met Seifer's gaze, not as keen to bring up the nasty aftermath of their choices. There was little point however in hiding the truth anymore.

"I wanted someone I couldn't have."

Blindsided by yet another bold reply, Seifer felt as if he had just been thrown off Bahamut midair, his heart stuck in his throat. He'd racked his brain for days, trying to figure out why he'd found Squall unconscious on his couch that morning. He ran his thumb along Squall's lower lip. "You could have had me years ago."

Letting out an unconvinced huff, Squall marveled at how Seifer could deliver such a brazen line so confidently. Years ago they'd been immature brats entangled in a confusing rivalry that hadn't left much room for anything other than insults and violence. It was probably for the best they hadn't stumbled into this attraction back then. He doubted they would've handled it well.

"You were more interested in picking fights back then," he pointed out, wrapping his arms around Seifer more tightly.

"With the best eye candy around," Seifer supplied easily, thinking that telling enough on its own. The unimpressed snort Squall gave in response made it clear, however, that any such flattery was pointless. He'd have to be much more direct and actually return some of Squall's honesty. "...That, and you were the only one who could hold my attention."

Admitting to himself the feeling had been entirely mutual, Squall could no longer maintain their rivalry had been a one-sided affair inflicted on him by Seifer. His usual state of mind back then tended to range from bored to annoyed, depending on his peers' stupidity, but Seifer had always had a talent for rudely disturbing the status-quo. His gaze had naturally gravitated towards the antagonistic bully, snapping him from his complacency and sending a thrill of anticipation coursing through him whenever the bastard opened his mouth to stir up trouble. Whenever Seifer had gone too long without accosting him, he'd usually found some flimsy excuse to put himself in the cadet's path.

How strange to go from that to this. Kissing Seifer's lips, he thought back to the key moment that had changed everything. Avalanche had been a powerful catalyst, awakening things inside him that had long lain dormant. Right after the facts, he'd briefly entertained the suspicion that Seifer had intended the outcome, only to immediately discard the ridiculous notion. "Why did you offer me Avalanche?"

Pausing the kisses he'd been trailing along Squall's cheek and jawline, Seifer met Squall's gaze. He ran a hand through Squall's locks, letting them fall softly against the man's cheek, then traced his fingers behind his ear. "To forget about it all. To exist together without all the noise and pain," he said, moving his hand to rest at Squall's side. "When I imagined us running into each other again, I always just expected to let you have your revenge or to end up in a detention room back at Garden… not for you to want to talk. I had no idea how to handle any of it beyond that useless apology I made."

Squall sobered at the honest reply that brought back to mind Seifer's more self-castigating tendencies. He didn't even want to consider how far Seifer would have let him take this hypothetical revenge. Thank Hyne he'd been wiser than that, despite his doubt and confusion. Even at their worst, he'd never been able to hate Seifer. In hindsight it seemed insane he'd just followed Seifer home and had taken an unknown substance, without ever knowing the full truth of the man's intentions. But he hadn't been afraid. He'd wanted the same thing. To be together without pain.

At the thoughtful look to Squall's eyes, the man remaining quiet, Seifer gave him a soft squeeze. "I still can't believe you actually popped that pill. I didn't even consider how hard it'd be not putting any moves on you."

Squall huffed softly at how clueless he'd been. If Seifer had put any moves on him before he'd sat down on the man's bed that night, he hadn't noticed. It was still strange to realize Seifer had been attracted to him long before that night. He'd already known Seifer's knack for compartmentalization was worrisomely good, but masturbating while thinking of him despite the war and all that had happened… he couldn't even wrap his head around something like that. The ultimate disconnect between body and mind. It couldn't be more different from how he functioned himself.

Unsurprised at the lack of comment, Seifer leaned in to steal another slow kiss, then paused while keeping their foreheads touching. "I felt so fucking guilty the next morning. Finding you passed out on my couch threw me for a loop." He leaned back slightly to get a better look, to take in all of Squall's reaction. "I thought you emptied that bottle because you couldn't face what we'd done," he admitted. "Thought you still loved Rinoa. That's why I tried to set things right between the two of you."

Reminding himself he'd already forgiven Seifer for his meddling, Squall supposed Seifer's assumptions had been reasonable enough from an outsider's point of view. He should've loved Rinoa. He definitely should've been far more upset about the end of a two year long relationship than he had been. "There was no setting things right."

"I know," Seifer agreed softly. Everything he'd come to learn about those two pointed to that very same conclusion. Even sidled up close to Squall like this, he couldn't stop a certain level of bitterness from creeping back into his thoughts as they centered on Rinoa. He tried hard not to think about Winhill and what he'd seen, but even before then he'd known those two hadn't been good for each other. "Why did you go out with her in the first place?"

Studying Seifer's more serious expression closely, Squall hadn't forgotten the last time they'd discussed Rinoa at length and the awful fight that had followed. Battling his reflexive need to shut down the topic, he told himself that curiosity about exes was probably a common thing. And maybe these questions meant Seifer was ready to consider things from his point of view. He knew he should take this chance to explain, but somehow it was easier to be honest about his feelings for Seifer than anything to do with Rinoa. He didn't want to talk about how he'd failed her. He'd been the worst kind of boyfriend. He searched for the right words, but there was no painting himself in a better light without resorting to outright lies.

"During the war... she needed me," he began, thinking back to the insanity of those days. He'd been so utterly lost, wrestling with himself and what had happened at D-District Prison. Everyone had been looking to him for answers, for the next plan, for a way out. But Rinoa had been different. Maybe it was because she was a civilian and hadn't been beaten down and forged into a tool of war, but she'd never stopped asking whether he was okay. She'd known instinctively he wasn't. Amidst all the ugliness and uncertainty, he'd been too weak to refuse when she'd reached out to him. She'd been vocal about her interest in him and her wishes. A welcome distraction. "We needed each other," he amended, ducking his gaze down to Seifer's collar. "She helped me get through the war." His stomach knotted at voicing such selfishness out loud. "I owe her my life."

Seifer's brow knitted together at the words. "How?" he asked as his mind returned to the harrowing memory Ellone had shown him. He'd seen Rinoa almost kill Squall, not the other way around.

Squall frowned at the question and the memories they stirred back to life. Seifer's hand had stopped drawing lazy circles against his back, betraying the man's tension. "She saved me from Time Compression," he said quietly, unwilling to sugarcoat the truth. Had Rinoa been any less stubborn, any less reckless, he'd still be wandering those wastelands. He'd later learned Quistis had already had the paperwork drawn up to declare him killed in action, ready for processing. They'd almost held his funeral. "She used her powers to find me, to get me out. She never gave up trying."

Seifer's stomach dropped the moment Squall mentioned Time Compression, well aware just how much that hell-hole still affected Squall. No matter how much he still resented Rinoa, he could only be grateful she'd saved Squall from a fate worse than death. The mere thought of Squall never having made it out of there was enough to send a shiver down his back. "I fucking hate that I wasn't there with you."

"We all have our regrets," Squall replied soberly, personally grateful Seifer hadn't been around for Time Compression. They'd only narrowly escaped his recent nightmare becoming a reality. To be here together now was a statistical anomaly. "We're lucky we got a second chance." He held Seifer's gaze, sensing Seifer still wasn't taking in the point he was trying to make. "Rinoa deserves that as well."

Seifer narrowed his eyes, hesitant to agree. He still wanted to blame her for everything, but Squall was making it harder by the minute. He could no longer ignore Squall's words that night in Winhill either. Squall had drawn out the parallels for him to see. How Rinoa and him had both been tainted by the magic of an evil sorceress. How they'd both hurt Squall. Yet he'd also seen just how much Rinoa cared about Squall. Loved him. There was no way she would ever hurt him on purpose. He knew that deep down, however much he still wanted to lash out at her. The thought of Rinoa taking control of Squall for her own pleasure, so reminiscent of Ultimecia… It had made him lose his shit. It was a good thing Rinoa had been on another continent, affording him time to cool his head before he'd said something irreparably awful to her. She was a victim just like he was. Squall had seen this and had forgiven them both.

Out of the three of them, he'd been the one unable to forgive. Even though Rinoa knew what he'd done to Squall, she'd somehow overlooked it all when Squall had needed help the most. Instead of clinging to Squall, she'd entrusted Squall to his care. She could just as easily have kept Seifer out of Squall's life for good, but despite that night of Avalanche she'd still chosen to nudge Squall his way.

Things were beginning to make more sense. The rights and the wrongs. Hell, even why Squall and Rinoa had found each other in the first place. He'd thought the notion of his frigid rival ending up with the bubbly girl he'd dated was entirely unlikely, but for two such different people they had a lot in common too. They were both strong-willed and willing to fly in the face of adversity. How Rinoa had found the guts to show up at Odine's lab to fight his case, especially after all the pain he'd caused her, was beyond him. She'd gotten Squall out of Time Compression and had stood by Squall side during the war. It seemed both Squall and Rinoa would always go above and beyond to protect others. It was no coincidence the girl had joined a rebel movement to fight for someone else's cause.

Watching in silence as Seifer remained lost to his thoughts, Squall tried to draw comfort from the fact that the man seemed calm enough. Beyond a lingering frown, there was none of the seething anger that had met him the first time he'd tried to excuse Rinoa's actions. Whatever conclusions Seifer was reaching, they weren't so intolerable as to require any distance between them either. Seifer simply remained in place, his arm still slung over Squall's waist. Sidling closer, he touched his forehead to Seifer's. A small reminder they were still here. Together. Green eyes pulled back into focus and looked up to meet his gaze. The easy acceptance of the brief kiss he planted against Seifer's lips filled him with further relief.

Needing that gentle contact, Seifer let Squall's affection bolster him against all the unpalatable realizations. He couldn't help the stab of jealousy that afflicted him at the thought of Rinoa and Squall together. For over two years she'd been there for him, while he hadn't even been a part of Squall's life. No matter how shitty their relationship might've been, that fact would never change. He thoroughly disliked how it no longer seemed as unlikely for Squall and Rinoa to have found comfort in each other. But it was one thing for Squall to start dating her, and another thing entirely to tie his mind to hers, letting her see his every thought. No matter how close they'd been, there was no way someone as private as Squall would just readily accept an intrusive bond like that. "Why did you become her knight?"

Squall tried to hide his unease. Given Seifer's more than thorough line of questioning, he'd expected this, but that didn't make it any easier to answer the one question that cut straight to the core of the worst mistakes he'd made with Rinoa. "We didn't know what we were doing," he admitted solemnly. "Rinoa hoped it would make us closer. And I…" He trailed off with a frown, reluctant to voice the ugly truth.

Time Compression had been a pivotal moment of change in his life. Nothing had been the same afterwards. He hadn't been the same. After an eternity of sensory deprivation and utter isolation, the real world had washed over him like a disorienting tidal wave, brutal and relentless. Garden had been beyond overwhelming to return to. The constant crowds and noise had been almost impossible to filter out at first, eyes following him everywhere, piercing into him. His thoughts back then hadn't been entirely sane, fueled by ghosts and shadows, his hand always on his gunblade. It'd been hard at first to distinguish between the fictions of his mind and reality.

"After Time Compression it was hard to readjust. The bond... was a way not to be alone," he said softly, as if speaking the harsh truth quietly would make it any less damning. The second Rinoa's mind had touched his, she'd understood his needs without ever having to voice them. She'd been a soothing presence to reach for, always available, no matter the distance between them. An easy fix. "I didn't dream anymore after that. She stopped the nightmares." Only after breaking their bond had he realized just how terribly unhealthy their codependence had been. He'd taken far more from Rinoa than he'd ever given in return. "I used her," he concluded, meeting Seifer's gaze.

Seifer frowned as he let Squall's words sink in, his heart aching at the pained edge to Squall's eyes. This wasn't the first time Squall had mentioned feeling alone, however veiled. In that moment the realization struck him that Squall wasn't a true loner at heart. Especially not considering how quickly they'd grown close these past few weeks. Just like everyone else, Squall had needed someone and Time Compression had been the last straw. He could feel Squall's guilt coming off him in waves even if the man tried hard to rein back his expression. He knew something like this would be a heavy burden on someone as self-reliant as Squall. The man had always been righteous to a fault, setting himself impossibly high standards and never cutting himself any slack for failing. "You did what you did to get through," he said softly. "Same as me."

Squall huffed at that. While Seifer's days of drugs, drinking and sex were a questionable coping mechanism, at least the man hadn't hurt anyone in the process. He'd failed the one person he'd sworn to protect. His sorceress. "Excuses won't do her any good," he said evenly. "I'll help her any way I can. As her friend."

"You never do things by halves, do you?" Seifer said, the corners of his mouth lifting up. He wasn't the least bit surprised by Squall's declaration and knew there was no way he'd be able to change the man's mind. Every single one of them had been hurt in the wake of the war and this giant, tangled mess between them needed mending. "I'll help too, if I can."

Squall raised an eyebrow at the unexpected sentiment, some of the tension leaving his body even as his confusion grew. After Winhill, he'd been prepared for much harsher words than this. Then again, Seifer had a tendency of pulling one-eighties on him. "You will?"

Seifer grimaced at Squall's bewilderment, telling him just how unforgiving he'd been. "I said a lot of things I regret," he said soberly. He should've given Rinoa the benefit of the doubt, just like she'd done for him. "You know, we put her through the worst fucking shit that night on Avalanche. Can't believe she forgave us for that. Helped us even. I sure as hell wouldn't have."

There was still so much Squall didn't know. How close they'd come to never seeing each other again. "I didn't want to take you in when we found you at the Skyway Inn," he confessed, his gaze dropping briefly. "Didn't want to force you to be around someone who'd tortured you." He was met with a predictable frown when he looked back up, but Squall didn't counter his statements. They both knew Squall wouldn't have agreed either had he been conscious for any of those decisions. "Rinoa insisted that I take you in. I think she knew what we both needed better than we did," he said softly. "If it wasn't for Rinoa, we never would've gotten this far."

Squall breathed out slowly at that regrettable bit of insight. Tapped into his every thought, into his very subconscious, it was very likely indeed that Rinoa had realized the true extent of his feelings for Seifer before he himself had. He didn't want to contemplate an alternative series of events where they'd each gone their separate ways. He also knew it was a futile exercise. His entire life was made up of one wildly improbable incident after the other.

"There's no point in what-ifs," he concluded, holding Seifer's gaze. "All we can do is repay our debts."

Humming in agreement, Seifer smiled softly. "She won't know what hit her. Both her exes, fighting her cause."

Squall tried to believe in Seifer's optimism, not entirely certain Rinoa would welcome such aid. It had been difficult enough to get her to accept his offer of money and consider pursuing an education. To her it had probably seemed like an attempt to ease his own guilty conscience. Compensation in hard cash for hurting her. His own newfound happiness felt tainted and undeserved when thinking of what he'd done to her, but even so, he was grateful that Rinoa had finally decided to cut their bond, mustering more courage than he ever had and setting them both free. Between the two of them, she'd always been the stronger one.

"…She'll be okay," he said quietly, certain at least she was better off without him. They'd only made each other miserable. At least now they both had a chance for something better.

"She will."

Meeting Seifer's firm gaze, Squall let himself take comfort in the overconfident assurance that only Seifer could pull off. So far the man hadn't led him astray yet. Needing to wash away his glum thoughts of Rinoa, he selfishly sought distraction in Seifer's touch and meshed their lips together in a soft sharing. Right in this moment he refused to regret a single thing.

Seifer hummed in contentment as he gathered Squall close to him. He'd been granted a rare look into the man's innermost thoughts, offered readily and fearlessly, unlike anything he'd come to expect of Squall. He really should've been satisfied already, but he was still hungry for more. After an extended conversation about Squall's ex, he was more than ready to replace any thoughts of Rinoa with what really mattered. This. What they had now. He rolled them around until he lay on top and deepened their kiss. Screw firewood duty and getting back to camp. He was going to take his time to show Squall just how fucking much he loved him.

The forest had grown entirely dark around them, his every move guided by touch more than sight as he twined their tongues with deep strokes. His entire focus singled in on the subtlety of a hitching breath, the flutter of Squall's pulse beneath his caresses. Shit, he was going to fuck Squall so achingly slow, he could already feel his balls tighten in complaint. Rolling their quickly surging erections together with leisurely grinds, he smiled as Squall's hands twisted into the back of his jacket and silver eyes flashed alight in the darkness. Taking Squall's cue to junction as well, he groaned in appreciation as every part of the beauty beneath him jumped right back into clear and crisp detail, the man regarding him with naked need. Already so impatient.

Good thing he had all night to temper that fire.

~ o ~

A/N: So there you go! Finally! The I love yous :3 We've only been working towards this for 500.000 words O.o Sheeeesh. Talk about slow burn :P But don't worry, we're not ending it here and hope you'll stick with us. Still plenty of stuff for them to experience and work through as things get real :)

On a side note, if anyone knows of a Seifer and Squall discord channel, please let us know. Would be great with a bit of community fun together. I (Chemotaxis) love chatting about story ideas, character studies and fic recommendations (when it comes to SxS and FF8), so hit me up if you know of any such place or if you want to set it up :) My email address is shown under my profile so feel free to get in contact if you'd be up for something like that.

Until the next chapter!