Arrgh!: A parody of Arrgh! from SpongeBob SquarePants with Total Drama characters.
Disclaimer for the series: Some (though far from all) chapters will contain moments of nudity or underwear due to the canon SpongeBob episodes' plots and gags, though it won't be anything that wouldn't happen in TD or SpongeBob. Credits to another user on FF for letting us use their idea, and another for their cast idea who wishes to remain anonymous. Some episodes may also take massive strays from canon in order for things to work. Feel free to leave a review, follow, or favorite if you enjoy it!
John G: That's an interesting idea! We'll think about doing that and make sure to credit you if we go with it.
It was another slow day in Smoothie Clean, with Chris idly looking around the restaurant to see no customers in sight. "Man, if no customers show up, then I'll get a rash for sure!"
"Oh, hooray! Look, Owen! More coins!" Ella showed a card to the big guy, which had text reading "you win eight gold doubloons." With all of their duties done, the two decided to play a pirate-themed board game to pass the time once Owen had finished his lunch.
"Money?! Are there customers here?" Chris ran over to the table.
"Oh, goodness, Christopher, hello! You look a tad sweaty."
"Forget the sweat. Where's my money?"
"Oh! Well, would you like to play with us?"
"Play?"
"Yeah, it's this cool pirate game." Owen explained.
Chris looked at the board game. It was a rather basic game, using dice and cards to get to the end of the board before the other players. "Captain Blood's Treasure Hunt" was the name, seen on the lid nearby, which was standing on its side.
"It doesn't seem to be very busy, but I promise, I'll get right back to work if any customers arrive!" The princess assured.
"And it's based on the real Captain Blood's map!" Owen supplied.
"Have you finished cleaning the booths, counters, and tables?"
Ella leaned over to look at her reflection on the table and smiled widely.
"Yes, sir!"
"What about all the gum? You know how nasty our customers can get!"
Owen was now revealed to be chewing something, making the singer nod her head.
"Eh, ya got me. Alright, I'll join." Chris relented, taking a seat at the table with the two.
"My turn!" Owen declared, reaching for the dice. He had gotten a four and counted it out as he moved his piece. "Woohoo! A card!" He picked it up and read it out. "One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate. Send 'em to the brig! Hmm…" He looked between the three of them. "Well, I would pick myself 'cause I thought an art gallery was a galley[1] one time, so I ate a bunch of art!" He casually continued his thought. "But since this is just a game, uh, sorry, Chris!"
Chris's face fell flat. "Owen, you're fired."
"Aww, but I don't even work here!"
"Would you like a job, starting now?" The establishment's boss had a uniform several sizes too small for the food lover in his hands.
"Yeah! Spending more time with my best friend would be awesome!"
"You're fired." Chris repeated, making the big guy slouch his shoulders as he let out an "aww…" once more.
Ella sympathetically put her hand on Owen's shoulder. "Let's continue the game then. Perhaps that will cheer you up!" She took her roll and got a 5. "Look through the Deacon's goose through the fork in the tree and move as many spaces as you roll in that direction!" She closed her right eye and peeked through the plastic tree with her left. Looking out the real window, she mused "Hmm… well, I see some birdies out there!"
Giggling at her own joke, she rolled the die once more, but only rolled a 1. "Oh, I'm almost to the treasure! Your turn, Christopher!"
Chris had only rolled a 1, but Ella picked up the card and read it out for him. "You're a real pirate! Congratulations! Go straight to Captain Blood's treasure and dig it up!"
"Now this is more like it!" He moved his piece to the end. "That's how you get ahead, kids."
"By rolling a six sided dice?" Owen questioned, slightly confused.
"By being a player." Chris chuckled to himself.
Just then, a man walked through the door. "Aww yeah, I'm totally hyped for a-"
"Can't you see we're busy here?!" Chris exclaimed, literally turning him around and shoving him out the door.
"Help! Help! My leg!" He shouted as he twisted his ankle as he left.
"Now, how's about another round?" Chris offered as he returned to the table. "If we play it enough, maybe we can bring Captain Blood's treasure here! Could you imagine how high that'd make the ratings?"
"Okay!" Ella and Owen both replied at once, not seeming to comment on the mention of ratings.
Day soon turned to night, and play had not yet ceased. The princess had looked quite sleepy, and the food lover was even asleep on the table. Chris had won yet again and was celebrating his victory, but Ella spoke up in the middle of it.
"Christopher, I believe I should be getting home now… It's, ah, quite past closing time, and I'm getting quite sleepy."
"But it's only 10 PM! C'mon, you got room for one more!"
The princess shook her head. "I'm very sorry…" She attempted to pick up the sleeping Owen, but she buckled under his weight. She barely managed to keep hold of him, slowly walking towards the door one step at a time. "Good night. I'll, ah, see you tomorrow."
Ella eventually made her way to the apartment, unlocked Owen's door for him, and gently tucked him into his bed. "Sweet dreams!" She smiled weakly. Normally, the singer would've made a pun about sweet food, but she was a bit tired for that. She came into her room and changed into her nightgown, but she then heard some knocking at her door.
"Hmm? Who could that be?" She opened it, to find her boss with a table in front of him with the board game they played.
"C'mon, just one more game! I know I'm close to memorizing the route!"
"I'm very sorry, but it's late. Tomorrow, okay? Good night!" She politely reiterated before shutting the door, but Chris was then somehow inside of her house, right in front of her. She escorted her boss out, but he was once again right there in front of her seconds after shutting the door.
"Here, I know you're tired! I'll roll for you!" Chris rolled the die and began counting out the numbers, before the songbird did something unexpected.
"Christopher, please, I'd like to go to sleep!" She exclaimed, before immediately looking guilty. Her eyes widened as her hands flew to cover her mouth in shock at what she had just done. "S-sorry, but it is just a game, you know?"
"Right, yeah, a game… See ya tomorrow."
Ella watched as her boss left, and went back to sleep.
The next morning, she heard a loud horn, awakening her. "Hmm?" She questioned as she got up, looking no worse for wear as usual. She looked out the window to see Chris outside. "Oh! Ah, will we be playing the game again later?" The screen panned out to show that Chris was standing on a vehicle that resembled a pirate's ship, but it was on land instead.
"Ahoy, me shipmates!" Chris greeted, putting on a half-baked pirate accent and totally ignoring the question. "You're gonna be pirates!"
"Oh, pirates?!" He now had Ella's full attention as she sprinted down outside to meet her boss, still in her pajamas.
"Ye- Aye! How'd ye like to be a real pirate and search for some treasure, matey?"
The singer jumped up and down in excitement.
"Go and get yer firstmate, and we'll be off! Oh, and ye better take some o' these pirate garments!" He tossed two sets of pirate clothing, one small and one large and baggy. The songbird skipped inside to get Owen.
"Owen, look! Pirate uniforms!" Ella exclaimed, handing him the larger set. "Ooh, and peg legs!"
"And eye patches!" The big guy added.
The singer rushed back to her own apartment and swiftly changed into the pirate uniform. She then stepped out with both peg legs on her feet. Although she was able to keep somewhat stable thanks to her ballet lessons, she still was rather wobbly.
"Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate!" She joked just before falling over, and Owen soon walked out with both eye patches over his eyes.
"Hoho, and I'm Blindbeard! Yarg!" Owen said before tripping into a bush.
Chris facepalmed. "Just get on the- I mean, climb aboard me vessel, me crew!"
The scene cut to Ella and Owen in the back of the ship, with Ella giggling.
"No giggling, matey! Pirates don't giggle."
The princess covered her mouth and nodded. "Sorry, Christop- um, Captain Chris!"
"Arrgh! Keep a lookout for the first set of rocks, Ella! It's our first landmark!"
"Okay!" The singer pulled out a telescope and looked through it.
"Pirates don't say 'okay' either! They say 'arrgh!'"
"Yes, sir! Arrgh, Captain Chris, I think we're- I mean, arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh-"
"Spit it out already!"
"I, arrgh, think she's, uh, arrgh! She's trying, arrgh-" Owen tried to fill in, but the ship soon crashed into some rocks.
"Bad news, mateys. I rolled a 3 and turned the ship over." Owen commented.
"Oh? To whom?" Ella questioned.
"Matey, the ship is literally turned over." Chris said as the camera cut to show the ship flipped 180 upside down in the crash.
"Oh…"
"Arrgh, I suppose we'll walk on foot then. Oh, and from now on, only the captain says 'arrgh.'" The princess and the food lover exchanged guilty looks between each other for a moment before following Chris.
Past the field of rocks was a green flower, which was grown almost to the height of Ella, the shortest one present. "Here's our first landmark. Owen, you're the navigator! Which way to the east?"
"Oh! Uh, that way!" The big guy pointed in a direction without even looking at the compass.
The scene cut to the trio at a wheat field, with no X to mark the spot in sight. "Huh? Where's the X? The empty field, with nothing but grass and a red X, far to the east!"
"Oh, east!" Owen smacked himself on the forehead. "I thought you said 'which way to the wheat?'"
"What kinda compass did you look at, dude?"
"Uh… Well, I guess I should've looked at this one." The big guy took the compass out of his pocket, prompting another disappointed look from Chris.
"You're fired again."
The scene cut once again to the three of them walking in the opposite direction. They all looked exhausted, but their leader did not want to give up.
"Goodness, Chris - ah, Captain Chris, we're feeling quite tired…" Ella expressed.
"And hungry!" The big guy added as his stomach rumbled.
"Oh, I get it, guys! How loyal of you. You guys get tired and hungry and just wanna give up, huh?" Chris yelled at the two. "Isn't a pirate judged by the loyalty of his crew? Not just how much mon- loot he's got?"
The singer started to tear up. "N-no, it's not like that, sir! Honest! It's just… a break would be nice, you know?"
Her boss sighed. "Fine. But only if you guys stick with me."
Ella and Owen rapidly nodded their heads.
"Good. I thought I could count on you two. All for one…"
"And one for all!" The other crewmates added as one.
The singer and the food lover were then seen lying on the ground outside of a tent Chris had created.
"We're such loyal pirates that we don't even mind sleeping outside, even when Chris has a tent for us!" The songbird declared.
"Yeah! I'm so loyal that I haven't taken a bath in two weeks!" Owen boasted.
"But hasn't it only been a few hours?"
"Yep!"
He laughed as Ella slightly scooted away from her friend. She wasn't trying to be rude, but she was admittedly slightly grossed out.
"Well, either way, I wouldn't want to sleep until we find the treasure!" The princess stood up. "Shall we see if the captain is awake and ready now?"
"Captain Chris?" The two questioned as they entered the tent, but he was nowhere to be found. The map laid on a table in the room.
"Oh, well, I suppose he's not here then." The singer mused.
"Yeah, but the treasure map is!" Owen pointed out, walking towards it.
"Should we be looking at it though? I'm aware that he never told us not to, but he might get upset if we look…"
"Yeah, I guess you're right." The food lover tried to turn around, but his shoe suddenly untied itself. "Oh, uh oh! Time to make more pretzel knots!" He laughed at his own joke, before falling backwards into the table, causing a crashing sound. The map rolled next to him and unfolded, but the princess had bigger priorities.
Ella gasped. "Owen! Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm okay!" He glanced at the map. "Hey, this map seems kinda familiar!"
They both took a look at it, causing a curious look to appear on Ella's face. "Isn't this our game board?"
She was in the big guy's view, while Ella herself was facing away from the entrance, but both of them felt unnerved before Owen could answer the songbird.
"Is there a problem with that?" Chris answered from behind them, making them both scream. "You guys just got a little curious, huh? Had to look at the treasure map?"
"N-no, it was an accident, promise! Owen tripped!" Ella insisted.
"Uh huh, yeah. Likely story." Chris dismissed.
"Please don't hurt us!" Owen begged as he and Ella embraced each other in fear.
The singer looked outside of the tent and saw the X somewhat far outside. She gasped, but out of excitement this time. "Look! It's the X! The game truly was based on Captain Blood's treasure!"
"Well, what are you sitting around for? Go get it, guys!" Chris commanded.
"Yes, sir!" Ella replied as she and Owen did so. They dug and dug, with her performing a ditty as they did so.
"A nice reward to end this fun treasure hunt, using a map to help us on that front!"
Eventually, they tossed it up to Chris, with Ella following it out of the hole. She struggled to help Owen out as well, but she eventually managed. She cracked open the treasure chest.
"Ooh! What will you two do with your share?"
"I dunno! How about you, Ella?" The big guy questioned.
"What shares? I need all of it to keep inside the restaurant! You guys aren't getting any of it!" Chris declared.
"But didn't we all work for it together?" The singer questioned, seeming more hurt than angry.
"Don't care. Who's the captain?"
"But what about 'all for one?'"
"And one for all!" Chris argued, pulling the chest closer to himself.
Owen tugged back. "I agree with Ella! All for one!"
"One for all!"
The two repeated the exchange three more times before a lightning bolt suddenly struck the chest, as red raindrops surrounded the area. A ghostly skeleton sporting a ghostly tail, black jacket, and black captain's hat emerged during the lightning flash.
"Who dares awaken the almighty Captain Blood?" He questioned menacingly. Ella and Owen hugged each other out of fear. "Keep it down, or suffer a curse!"
The camera then zoomed in on the treasure and the hole beside it. "Who has dug up my treasure?"
Chris, who was by the chest, ran behind the cowering duo and shoved them towards it. "It was them! I had no part in this!"
"We're sorry, Captain Blood, sir!" Ella frantically apologized as the pirate came closer.
"You be the ones to dig up the treasure?"
"Uh-huh!" Owen nodded, tightening his embrace with the princess.
"Well, ye saved me a lot of trouble bringing it back up. Here, have a reward for your travels." He handed the pair two gold doubloons.
"Wow! Thank you!" The songbird replied, and the food lover immediately bit his.
"Aww, I was hoping for chocolate! This is cool too though."
"Hey, I was the captain of these guys! I was just lying to you!" Chris tried. "How am I gonna show your treasure now?"
"So you want my treasure, hmm? Here." Captain Blood then handed Chris a toy treasure chest - one that looked like the real treasure, but a lot smaller.
"Hey, this is just a toy!"
"Based on the real one!" Chris's face fell in annoyance.
"Hey, Chris, you're not looking all that sweaty anymore!" Owen pointed out as Captain Blood vanished with another lightning strike.
A/N: [1] A galley is a pirate term for a kitchen.
Ella also did not yell as loudly as SpongeBob did when telling Chris she wanted to go to sleep. Also, yeah, we did just pull a random pirate-sounding name out of thin air, so if Captain Blood was actually real, then I have no clue if this aligns with their actual personality. Treat this Captain Blood as if he's not the real one if that's the case!