Chapter 07: Adante Con Moto (Or, the First Consolation)

"Okay, Asuka, Shuichi, I have your results," Doctor Shino said as she squinted at the paper in front of her.

Asuka's heart pounded painfully.

"First, let's talk about you, Mr. Minamino. All of your tests came back healthy and normal. In fact," she squinted again, "your sperm count is among the highest that I've ever seen. Wow."

Asuka resisted the temptation to glare at Kurama.

"I think we can safely say that you aren't the cause of infertility."

The doctor's gaze met Asuka's sympathetically, and it told Asuka everything she needed to know before the words left the doctor's lips.

"Asuka, your tests came back abnormal. I believe you have Premature Ovarian Failure. I'm so sorry, Dearie."

Kurama put his arm around her and drew her close as tears stung her eyes.

"Premature Ovarian Failure is a fairly rare condition," the doctor said. "Basically, it means that your ovaries have stopped functioning as they should before the age of forty. You could say it's like early menopause. We'll need to start you on a supplement to help prevent osteoporosis."

There was a bitter irony somewhere in that statement.

"However," Doctor Shino continued, "I haven't ever seen results like yours. You seem to have a fairly normal cycle and you don't have any of the normal symptoms associated with POF like night sweats, decreased sexual drive, vaginal dryness, hot flashes, or any of the other symptoms. But your hormone levels and the age of your eggs are classic indicators of POF. It's a bit puzzling."

It's this body, Asuka wanted to say. This body is messed up. It always has been, and it always will be. It doesn't work right. Asuka's voice wavered as she asked, "Does this mean I can't get pregnant?"

"Well," Doctor Shino hesitated, "I am unsure, to be honest. Women with this condition have gotten pregnant with treatment. We could try IVF and see—"

"Yes," Asuka said, cutting her off. "Please. I'll do anything."

The doctor gave her another sympathetic glance. "Okay. If you haven't done your research, IVF is a difficult process. You'll have to give yourself injections every day and come in for regular blood tests. The point is to get your body to release an egg that's ready for fertilization. Normally, the body releases just one a cycle. IVF is like a supercharge—we're going to see how many viable eggs we can get. Then, we'll harvest them, fertilize them, and implant one, or multiple, depending. The transfer success rate varies wildly from woman to woman."

"And…if my body won't release a viable egg?"

The doctor heaved a sigh. "Then, Dearie, you won't be able to get pregnant."

Asuka nodded in tears. Kurama stroked her shoulder with his hand.

"Where do the injections go?" Kurama asked.

"Either into the abdomen or thigh, depending which type of injection it is," Doctor Shino said. "They're painful."

Kurama exhaled.

"I should also warn you about the side effects of IVF treatment. Asuka, you may experience breast tenderness, hot flashes, headaches, and blurred vision. You may also experience changes in your mood. Remember, we're pumping a lot of hormones into your system. You might be more easily irritated or sensitive. There are other side effects, but those are the most common. Mr. Minamino, it's also important for you to monitor your wife."

Kurama nodded.

"Do either of you have any more questions about that?"

"No," they said at the same time.

"Okay. Let's go over the injection regimen."

The doctor spent considerable time with Asuka and Kurama as she went over the fertility regimen. She watched Asuka give herself the first injection and instructed Kurama on how he could support her. When they finished, the nurse returned and scheduled Asuka's check-in appointments.

It was mid-morning when they left the fertility clinic. When they got outside, Kurama took Asuka's hand and led her to the side of the building so they could speak in private. He wrapped his entire body around her and squeezed tightly.

"Kurama," she choked.

"I'm so sorry, Love."

"It's not fair," she whispered into his gray peacoat.

"No, it's not."

"What if…what if this body can't get pregnant?"

He hesitated above her. The wind blew down the alleyway, but Asuka barely felt its cold snap in the warmth of his arms.

"Then, we figure out what we do next," he said finally. "But let's not worry about that until we need to."

Asuka nodded. "Okay, I'll try. Not to worry, that is."

Kurama leaned down and cupped her cheeks. "I love you," he said firmly.

"And I love you."

"Asuka," Kurma said. "I'm going to say it again. I love you. Unconditionally. No matter how you may feel, no matter what happens next."

Kurama's eyes were like infinite emeralds that reflected his words with an everlasting glint. Asuka swallowed thickly, almost unable to stand the intensity of his gaze.

"What would I do without you?" she asked, her voice quiet and choked.

He leaned in and kissed her. It was a soft kiss, where he tugged at her lips with his. "What would I do without you?" he seemed to say.

Kurama pulled away and then gently kissed her on her forehead.

"Time for work," Asuka sighed.

"Yes," he agreed. "But I will accompany you home."

"You don't need to."

Kurama raised his eyebrows.

Asuka realized her judgment error. "Right, sorry. I know we have to be careful. I didn't want to make you later than you already are."

"You are my priority. Everything else will attend to itself." His emerald eyes continued to shimmer with passion as he gazed at her.

"What are you thinking about?" Asuka asked.

"Do you want to know?"

"Always."

He cupped her cheek again. "I'm thinking about how I want to take you far away to a place where nothing will ever distress or worry you."

Asuka's lips curved upward. That was always his response when she was having a difficult time and she loved him for it.

"I've been feeling possessive of you," he suddenly confessed. "I've been having a hard time shaking it."

Asuka placed her hand on the lapel of his jacket. Her gloved finger brushed his emerald scarf. "Because I was gone?"

"That, the mystery of the ki holder and…how you've been feeling. It's making some of my instincts…flair. I apologize."

"Why are you apologizing for that?" Asuka asked. "It's okay to feel selfish sometimes."

Kurama ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm yours."

He shivered, then kissed her again.

Asuka saw the yearning in his eyes. The yearning to soothe the ache she felt in her heart. The yearning to make her his all over again. It made every part of her tingle. "There's the cab. Let's go home, Love."

-* ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ *-

I can be selfish too, Asuka thought after Kurama left. She'd given herself over to him in a way that made his body quiver, and it had made him very late to the office. She knew that meant he'd be working deep into the evening, and he'd be rushing to catch up with emails and phone calls, but she didn't care. After what he said and how he looked at her behind the clinic this morning, how could she not? How could she not make him breathless with ecstasy?

He'll be thinking about me all day, she thought smugly.

On cue, her phone dinged.

Kurama: I want you all to myself even more
Asuka: Better whisk me away, then
Kurama: Be careful what you wish for

Asuka chuckled.

Kurama: If only you knew my thoughts right now
Asuka: Too bad I'm not a telepath. I'd open the door to your mind and make my home inside
Kurama: The idea is too appealing, especially if I could do the same to you
Asuka: I want every part of you
Kurama: And I you
Asuka: I love you. Thank you for being my anchor
Kurama: Always

Asuka showered, changed, and then put on a pot of coffee.

As her eyes swept the apartment, she wondered if she would ever hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet on the hardwood floors. She wondered if she'd hear her child yell, "Daddy!" when Kurama came home from work. She wondered if she'd see the man she was desperately in love with scooping up his child, swinging them around, and cuddling them when they felt sad.

I want this house to be full of children's laughter, she ached. I have an amazing found family, and now I want a nuclear family. Me, Kurama, and our children. After everything I've been through, is it so much to ask? Please, body. Please respond to the treatment.

At this moment, however, Asuka only felt the burn of pessimism—that her Yosei body wouldn't respond to IVF and it would leave her with empty arms. She wanted to scream.

No, Asuka self-scolded. I've got to think optimistic thoughts. This body might be messed up, but it's the only one I've got, for better or for worse. And because of this body, I got to meet Kurama. I got to save the Makai. And, because of this body, I can be with Kurama.

The doorbell rang.

Asuka ran her fingers through her hair. She couldn't think about her pregnancy woes right now. Right now, she needed to think about her career. Work mode, Asuka reminded herself.

After she checked the peephole to make sure it was her expected guest, Asuka opened the door. "Hello, Himari."

Himari peeked around Asuka. Her eyes scanned the apartment before she stepped inside and allowed Asuka to close the door.

"Guess your man candy isn't around."

Asuka laughed. "No, he's at work."

Himari frowned. "If you're going to make me come all the way over here, I should be rewarded. The next meeting will be in the evening."

"We should have you over for dinner," Asuka said. "It's been a while."

A playful smile moved over Himari's mouth. "Delicious."

"Himari!"

Her agent cackled. "Sorry. Anyway, I smell coffee. I bought some pastries. We've got a lot to go over."

Himari made herself comfortable at the table while Asuka fetched plates, coffee, mugs, and cream for herself since Himari liked her coffee black.

Asuka opened the box of danishes and plucked out a cheese-filled one. "So, what have we got?"

Himari put on her glasses and looked at the papers in front of her. "First, you've got an offer to model. It's for Hada Labo."

Asuka's eyebrows flew up. "The skincare line?"

"That's the one."

Asuka drank her coffee. "That's weird they'd offer a job to someone like me."

"It's not. You might not be a pop idol, but you're still recognizable. Your complexion is flawless and even from the seats, people can see that. An ad campaign with your face on it would attract a lot of attention."

"Well, I'm not going to do that."

Himari frowned. "Why not? It's great PR. You'll be able to draw attention to your and Kenji's album and you'd be able to do some solo concerts."

Asuka shook her head. "The idea makes me uncomfortable."

"Why?"

"I don't use their products."

"So?"

Asuka sighed and tried to explain. "People shouldn't expect they'll be able to look like me if they use them."

Himari snorted.

I'm not human, she wanted to say. This body is half-mortal. It isn't fair to the women looking at my picture and thinking they can get the same results. "It isn't being truthful."

Himari cocked her head to the side. "Who said anything about being truthful? It's advertising, Asuka. Nothing wrong with using your natural giftings."

That made Asuka frown. "I'd really rather not, Himari."

Himari sighed. "Fine. Have it your way."

"Thank you. What's next?"

Himari flipped to the next stack of papers. She read through the pages while she sipped her coffee. "You'll like this next one. We heard back from Sony, and they've given you the green light."

Asuka's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"That's right. An album to record all of Liszt's Consolations, as well as Bénédiction de Dieu dans la solitude, has been approved."

Asuka grinned.

"Another reason why you should take this modeling contract. It would help you sell CDs."

"Not a chance. But, thank you. You've been working on this forever."

"At least you know it," Himari huffed. "Recording will be in a few months."

"That's perfect. It'll give me some time to polish all the pieces."

Himari's eyes went back and forth as she read through the printed sheet. "Sony wants it to be a live recording."

"Really? I'm surprised. Usually, for piano pieces, they want it to be silent. No coughing during something as delicate as a piano recording."

"It will help cover some of the cost of the recording and they want the feel of a live audience. They think it will capture the emotion better."

"That's fine with me," said Asuka.

"Good. That's settled. When they give me the contract, I'll bring it over."

Asuka finished her pastry and then wiped her hands on the napkin she'd set out. "I'm so excited. I've been wanting to record Liszt's consolations for years."

"I know," Himari said with a smile. "Liszt is special to you in a way that I don't really understand."

That made a memory of Liszt float across Asuka's mind.

It was nighttime, and she was sitting at the piano. Liszt was next to her laughing as he showed her how to play a set of notes. In a large leather back chair was Chopin, reading a book. He would look up occasionally and tell Liszt what a terrible job he was doing teaching the piano. Liszt would retort and then keep teaching. They made her smile, even when all hope seemed lost.

"Yeah." Asuka swallowed. "It's almost as if…he was my friend."

Himari took a large bite of her pastry and then wiped her hands on a napkin. "There's one more thing that I've got for you today."

"What's that?"

Himari dug in her bag and pulled out another manilla folder. "Joe Hisaishi is going to be recording a movie score and has asked if you'd like to play for it."

Asuka's mouth dropped open. "Wait. You mean the Joe Hisaishi?"

Himari laughed. "That's exactly the reaction I thought I'd get from you. Yes, the Joe Hisaishi."

Asuka scooted closer. "Himari, tell me. Do you know what studio the soundtrack is for?"

"Nope, not a clue, sorry. We don't get that information until you sign the contract and the NDA."

That disappointed Asuka but didn't surprise her. Information for studio projects was always locked up tight due to potential leaks. "Any chance to work with Mr. Hisaishi is the chance of a lifetime," Asuka said. "So, I'll definitely sign the contract even if I don't know what it's for."

"Good, because here it is." Himari slid the manila folder over to Asuka.

She opened it and took her time reading all the details. As she supposed, nothing in the contract gave away what she'd be working on. Asuka took the pen and hovered it over the signature line. "What if…" Asuka paused. Saying it out loud almost felt like she'd jinx it. "What if this contract is for a Studio Ghibli film?"

"Then you're one of the luckiest musicians I know."

Asuka sighed and then signed both the contract and the NDA. "I can only hope. But if it's not, that's okay. Like I said, working with Mr. Hisaishi in any capacity is the chance of a lifetime."

Himari patted her hand and then took the papers. "Once I get these back to Mr. Hisaishi's people, you'll get the music. The recording will be soon."

"That's normal," Asuka said. "Musicians don't get a lot of time with the music they're going to record, if at all. Sometimes they just give it to you at the studio and have you look it over the day of recording."

"Yes," Himari said. "But Mr. Hisaishi doesn't like doing that. He wants whoever is going to be recording to have some time to understand the music, and what it's trying to convey."

Asuka smiled. "This is so exciting. Thank you, Himari."

"Call me a miracle worker. Now, I'm off to Kenji's place."

"Tell him I say hi."

"Then tell your husband he should run away with me."

"If that's how you want to do things." Asuka's tone was serious, but she was smiling.

Himari laughed. "Perfect. I'm thankful you put up with me, Asuka."

"I'd never want to work with anyone else."

"You're too good." Himari stood up and gathered her bags. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

Asuka showed Himari to the door. When she was alone, she put her hands to her mouth and grinned. I'm going to work with Joe Hisaishi.

It almost felt too good to be true.

And in other good news, she finally got the approval she'd been seeking to record Liszt's Consolations. This day started out difficult and depressing, but with all of this positive information, Asuka couldn't help but feel like perhaps anything was possible after all.

She smiled to herself and sat down at the piano.

Guess what, Franz? I'm going to record the song you wrote for me. I miss you, dear friend.

Asuka thought for a moment about those nights with Liszt and Chopin when they were trying to teach her to play the piano. Despite how difficult her mission on Earth had been, they'd been there for her.

I have Kurama and my friends now, but you're still there for me, in a way. Thank you.

Asuka played the first consolation. It was a short piece that combined hints of somberness with hints of hope. It was simple and reflected her mood exactly. She played it all the way through, and then when she finished, she played it again.

Author's Note:

Friendly reminder about the playlist if you're interested in listening to the pieces featured in both Liebestraum and Consolation! It's been updated for this chapter. Go to Spotify and search Asuka Minamino's playlist or paste the following into the web browser once you've opened Spotify: /playlist/5cVDZjlukJw1QrXJZbYLHj

If you enjoy my writing you can also find me on WattPad at Arielle1850 and my original novel The Thread Between Danny and Me which is about a teenager who falls in love with her best friend but circumstances keep them apart for a decade. When Maria finally reunites with Danny, they both have to decide to fight for long-lost love. The novel is split into two parts! Half takes place in the early 2000s and the other part 10 years later.

Okay, I think that's all the housekeeping for now. Don't forget to shoot me a comment if you are enjoying the story and any thoughts you have:-D. I love hearing from you all.

Cheers!

-Arielle