Chapter 5: Realization

Author: zeusfluff

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blue Bloods characters. They belong to CBS. But I do own a few originals. Date Started: 7/22/23. Date Finished: 7/22/23. Enjoy!

It had been a long day. Eddie had been working on a stack of files. She'd barely made a dent in them by the end of tour. She didn't know how many burglary reports she could go through a day. Her left eye was still healing. She could finally see out of it. It wasn't blurry and it wasn't black anymore. But it was still hard to read things sometimes. Closing the file in front of her she rubbed a hand over her eyes. She felt someone standing next to her and moved her hand away from her face. She found herself looking into the hazel eyes of her most recent partner. Officer Sanchez.

"Come with me partner. I want to show you something in the break room."

Eddie furrowed her eyebrows and struggled to stand up from her chair. She tried not to wince as she followed Sanchez into the break room. It was filled with the officers of the 29. The rest were out in the hallway. They were all smiling at her. Sanchez led her over to a chair and had her sit down.

"What's going on Sanchez?"

Sanchez continued to smile.

"Well, we were all talking and know that you need help. We all decided we would get tested to see if any one of us could donate a kidney to you."

Eddie sat and chewed on Sanchez' words for a moment, her mouth hanging open.

"I… I don't know what to say."

Jamie appeared in the doorway with a small smile.

"You don't have to say anything Eddie. They want to help out."

Eddie sat still, her mouth hanging open. Closing her mouth, she sat and stared at her hands. Finally, she found her words.

"You guys didn't have to do this for me."

Jamie took a seat next to Eddie and squeezed her hand. Sanchez sighed and took a seat on the other side of Eddie.

"Give me some credit partner. We would all help a brother or sister in blue who needed help."

Eddie tried to get to her feet as Captain Espinoza entered the break room.

"That's why the whole precinct has put together and fund. No need to get up Janko. Anything the two of you need, just ask."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she shook her head to keep the tears in check. Jamie squeezed her hand again and he looked Espinoza in the eye.

"Thank-you sir. We will."

Later that night, Jamie had finished drying the dishes and was making his way back to the bedroom. He looked around trying to find Eddie. He heard crying coming from the bathroom. Entering it slowly, he took in Eddie's form. She was sitting on the edge of the tub with her head in her hands. Kneeling down in front of her, he took her hands in his and took them away from her face.

"Hey, what's wrong baby?"

Her face was red and her voice barely above a whisper. Jamie had to strain to hear what she was saying.

"Do you still love me?"

Jamie sat back for a moment, almost stunned by Eddie's words. Taking her face into his hands, he caressed them with his thumbs.

"Of course I still love you. Where is this coming from Eddie?"

Eddie looked down at herself and the waterworks continued, sobs wracking her body.

"I don't feel like the woman you married…"

Jamie continued to caress Eddie's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"Oh honey. Come here. Now, what is it? You're holding something back. What is it?"

Eddie shook her head; her sobs continuing and were turning into shorts gasps of air.

"I don't feel much like the woman you married right now…"

Jamie placed a kiss to her forehead.

"Why is that babe?"

Eddie's sobs continued to come out in short gasps of air, and she managed to speak up.

"B-because I cannot be intimate with you or give you a child…"

Jamie was confused for a few brief seconds. Then realization dawned on him.

"Oh babe. Come here. Shh. The doctor said that would happen. As your kidney function went down, your ability to have a child would decrease dramatically and that your menstrual cycle would completely shut off. You'll get it back when you get a kidney."

Jamie looked Eddie in the eye and gave her a serious look.

"Eddie, I need you to calm down. Let's just sit for a few minutes and relax. Then we need to take your blood pressure."

Eddie nodded and took a few deep breaths to try and still her racing heart. She knew she had to stop getting so worked up about things.

"I'm sorry Jamie…"

Jamie kissed her forehead and ran a thumb up against the side of her neck.

"Shh. It's ok babe. I love you. Always know that. Never think that this is your fault. It's just something that happened to you. I'm climbing this mountain with you remember? We're stronger together. Let's get you to the bed and have you sit down. The edge of the tub isn't very comfortable."

Eddie nodded and leaned on Jamie as he helped her to her feet.

"Thank you for being here for me Jamie. I'm sorry if my emotions are all over the place sometimes. I'm still trying to sort everything out."

Helping her onto the bed, Jamie helped her lean back against the pillows. Eddie stayed quiet but winced as the blood pressure cuff on her arm went off. She kept her eyes closed as the cuff squeezed tighter, then eventually released letting out a hissing sound. Opening her eyes, she found a pair of green eyes staring back at her.

"182/160. Time to take your Nifedipine."

Eddie fanned herself with her left hand.

"It's so hot in here."

Jamie looked at her seriously and held out her blood pressure pill and a glass of water.

"That's because your blood pressure is too high. Here. Take that."

Making a face at the pill Eddie took it. Begrudgingly so.

"I wish my body would make up its mind."

Jamie ran a hand up and down her left arm gently.

"When you're better babe. We'll get through. The road is rough right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. You'll see."

Jamie didn't realize that the road was going to be a little longer and steeper. Sighing he continued his conversation.

"Come on. Let's go see if your solution is heated up to 98.6 degrees. Usually when you put new solution in your blood pressure normalizes. Let me just write your blood pressure and the time on your chart on your clipboard here."

Eddie rolled her eyes and got to her feet.

"You know I can write that down too."

Jamie nodded.

"I know. But sometimes I noticed you forget. Right now, I am your medic."

Eddie had to smile at that.

"You are my medic right now. You should've been a doctor Reagan."

Jamie tossed Eddie a comeback.

"And treat patients instead of getting really bad guys off the street? Wouldn't trade it."

To Be Continued…

A/N: So, some ups and downs in this chapter. I want to take a quick moment to give a shout out to Zeagles15 and Patrickpopp for the reviews. Your feedback is helpful. To all the other readers out there, I thank you for checking out this story. Still a ways to go. Haven't decided whether I want to cap this story off at 10 chapters or 20.