This chapter goes over Henry's childhood and past before Hope Valley. It has been only hinted at on the show. Sometimes you must look first at the past before healing can begin. Some mentions of physical abuse but nothing is shown.
Saturday
Henry paced his room trying to shake the anxiety he felt. Thirty minutes to decide what he should do. Henry didn't need another person disappointed with him. He wasn't going; he finally decided and went to call the cafe. He left a message he wasn't coming with the waitress who answered the phone. At least he said something even though he was avoiding talking to the pastor directly.
Around noon Henry left his room and headed downstairs to the saloon. He sat at a table in the back corner reading the last pages of a book he had devoured in the past day. For lunch, he ordered the daily special without even checking to see what it was. Though it didn't matter because he barely ate what was on his plate.
Since his return six weeks earlier, the only thing that gave Henry any sense of pleasure or relaxation was reading. Once he finished his book Henry headed to the library and borrowed two new books to read. Saturday afternoon was when Anna worked in the library so he could slip in and out quickly without having to talk to anyone. He also wanted to avoid the glances and whispers from people as he walked by.
Henry was used to people seeing him as the town villain. He was used to people hating him for things he had done over the years. Every day he lived with the guilt and shame of the lives that were killed in the mining disaster. He was the person in charge of their safety each day they went to work. Henry could handle hate and anger.
Quietly ten minutes later he slipped back into the saloon. At the bar, he watched Lucas talking with Bill Avery and Nathan Grant. The three men had all helped Henry with his court case. Bill had defended him getting the most severe charges dismissed. Nathan the town mountie had recommended community service after his time served in jail. He would also be the person Henry met with weekly during Henry's probation. Lucas was a character witness for the defense.
Together the three men were able to find out information that the mine never had authorization to be reopened. The company and Jerome Smith had tried this same scheme in two other towns. Henry was still charged with the explosion and served nine months in jail before being relocated back to Hope Valley.
"Henry, come have a drink with us," Nathan called out as Henry walked towards the stairs.
"Uh, not tonight. I'm tired. Thanks though." Henry walked quickly up the stairs to his room. When he reached the top stair he turned and saw the three men watching him with concerned looks on their faces.
The next morning Henry sat in his chair by the window watching the people below. He held the picture of his son Christopher in his hand thinking back to his past. To the scared twelve-year-old boy who had to run away. To the boy nobody wanted. To the boy whose parents never showed a simple touch of love. His parents blamed him for their own mistakes and a forced marriage.
Henry didn't talk about his childhood or his parents. Somewhere out there he still had a younger brother and sister. He wouldn't recognize them even if he saw them today. Possibly his family was all gone? Once he left home he never looked back. He had to protect himself from any future pain.
The last day he saw his family was just a normal day. Well normal for him. Henry had done his chores around the farm early in the morning. He spent the afternoon reading a book in his normal spot under their big tree in the backyard. Reading was the one place he could escape to anywhere he wanted.
His father was in one of his moods that day so Henry tried to disappear and lay low staying quiet as much as possible. But he was his father's favorite target whenever he was looking for a fight. Then Henry could do nothing right. His father would rant saying every horrible thing a person could imagine. The insult that always cut the deepest was when his father said he wished Henry wasn't his son.
The beatings Henry received started from the earliest memory he could remember of his father. As he grew older they got worse and more frequent. He tried the best he could to protect his mother and siblings from his father's wrath. Henry took the blame and grew a little more numb from feeling anything each time.
His father would use his belt. Henry could always smell the alcohol on his father's breath as he would hover over him. It was never quick as his father had to make sure Henry learned his lesson.
For every lashing he would receive his father would quote a verse from the bible. Henry knew the verses by heart. But he never said them aloud. In each verse, he could remember back to a moment from his childhood. He still had scars on his body that only faded in color.
The last day wasn't anything special to remember. He had been saving money for a year in a jar he kept hidden in the barn. Just waiting for the moment he should leave. This time his father had given him a black eye and a broken rib. Henry waited until everyone was asleep and slipped out into the dark and starry night. The only belongings he took with him were his favorite book The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, a bag of clothes, and some food.
Henry vowed two things as he looked back at his house one last time. He would become someone important that held power. He wouldn't let anyone treat him like his father had done all those years. The second thing he promised himself is he wouldn't go to church. He only had himself to count on to find a way to survive. Henry had kept those promises.
Sharecropper son. No matter what he did in his life it was never enough. The only thing his father gave him was knowing the importance of hard work. Henry always worked in businesses similar to what he did on the family farm. He started first working at other farms after he ran away. Once he was a few years older he worked at a few different lumber yards. He then moved to Hope Valley working his way up to the top position for the mine.
Henry liked nice clothes and good food. But his homes always reflected his childhood. A simple place to sleep and read. Nothing permanent so it would be easier to move on to the next town. Hope Valley was the longest place he had ever lived. He had no idea why he chose to stay.
What did he have to show for his hard work? Henry was alone. He was married to Christopher's mother for five years. She said it was too hard to live in the houses provided by the lumber yard. She wanted more for herself and their son. Now she was married to a rich man and lived in a fancy house forgetting a past similar to his own.
There was Abigail who he always had a soft spot for. But she moved away and was happy with her life. Occasionally they would write letters updating each other on life events. A few years prior on a business trip he visited her for a week. Nothing more than friends. Though she would always be the one he would sometimes wonder what would've happened if she stayed.
It was an instant connection and a love he never knew when he first held Christopher in his arms.
His one regret was his son Christopher. If he was honest with himself he was scared of being a father. He didn't want to become his father. Henry worried one day he would lose his temper and strike his son. So he kept his distance from him so he could protect him. He agreed to the adoption though it broke his heart.
Having the chance to reconnect with Christopher meant more than anything he could ever say. To hear his son call him dad. To listen to him say he loved him. For Henry to tell someone that he loved them in return.
That was the thing that slowly mended his broken heart. The love of a son and being a dad.
Henry gripped the picture tighter as he sat and cried. The pain from the past and present collided washing over him in a unsurpassable grief he had never felt before.