Chapter XI: The Overworld Tour Continues... (Phase IX)
HJ: Well, at least we're in warp speed. Riga said she could get us there in 90 seconds.
Josh: Yes, HJ, that's correct. Riga did once say to you that if we're lucky, we can beat the Steamferno Clan to all to cities listed on their greatest plan ever to take over the overworld and then the universe.
Narrator/EPF: 1.5 minutes later...
Riga: Okay, everyone. We'll be out of warp speed in three, two, one...
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
Tom: *looks around for the Steamferno Clan Airship* No sign of the Steamferno Clan Airship, HJ!
HJ (to Tom): Good eye, Tom.
Riga (to HJ): Where do you want me to land, HJ?
HJ (to Riga): I'm gonna say on the north side of Ankara again.
Riga (to HJ): Okay! *does so*
*Riga lands her airship on the northern side of the city*
*Riga turns off her airship*
(redstone engines powering down)
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets off Riga's airship*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
*Riga locks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
City Number CCXLI: Ankara, Turkey
HJ: We gotta make sure the Steamferno doesn't take control of this city.
Josh: They should be here in 5 to 7 minutes.
HJ: Just one more phase after this. And if we can stop them from taking over the overworld and the universe for the last remaining 59 cities on the list, then all 300 cities from all over the world on their list will be safe from being conquered by them.
Jamie: This is just so pointless. We've been gone for, like, many days now.
Tom: Man, I've been wearing some of the clothes I've packed up for, like, a few days now.
Ryan: Same here.
Tess: *walks up to HJ* HJ, I'm hungry. My hunger bar is critically low. I haven't set my spawn point in days. I don't wanna starve to death and respawn far from you and the others. And besides, if I respawn, I'll have to teleport to you, in which I'm getting very tired of it.
HJ (to Tess): How much of your hunger bar is left, Tess?
Tess (to HJ): One.
HJ: *gets four cooked pork chops from his inventory* Here you go, Tess. Four cooked pork chops. *drops the four cooked pork chops*
*Tess picks up the four cooked pork chops*
(items plop)
Tess: *eats all four of cooked pork chops that HJ give to her to fully restore her hunger*
(four Minecraft eating noises)
Tess: Thank you, HJ!
HJ: You're welcome, Tess.
Zoe: Look at the bright side, everybody. At least the Steamferno Clan has one more phase on their list after this.
All: (agreeing with Zoe)
Drew: HJ, I'm glad you're able to help other people, but what is the Steamferno Clan doing for their conquests to take over 300 different cities around the overworld? Oh ma gosh!
HJ: It's just their greatest plan ever to take over the overworld and then the universe, Drew. We only have 59 more cities to go.
Drew: (sighs)
Narrator/EPF: 5 to 7 minutes later...
(electrical zapping in the sky)
HJ: Guys, look! The Steamferno Clan is here!
*the others look at the electrical zapping in the sky*
*an orange wormhole opens up*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
*the orange wormhole closes*
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Dr. Steamferno: Yes! At last! We made to Ankara! The starting city of Phase IX of our plan.
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss, the Cork Men and their 12 rookies beat us here.
Dr. Steamferno (angrily): Oh, come on!
Steam Magma Commander: Where do you want my Steam Magma Drones to attack?
Dr. Steamferno (to Steam Magma Commander): Have them attack downtown Ankara.
Steam Magma Commander: Okay. *walks up to a machine of his* Deploying all 30,000 Steam Magma Drones to attack downtown Ankara. *set the coordinates and they get locked and loaded* Coordinates locked and loaded. Preparing to teleport the Steam Magma Drones. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
(evil warbling teleporting noises)
Steam Magma Commander: All set.
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
HJ: We have to put a stop to those Steam Magma Drones and make sure they don't conquer Ankara or any of the other remaining cities on their list.
Narrator/EPF: Gang, I hate to break up the conversation, but the Steam Magma Drones are attacking downtown Ankara.
(people screaming in distance)
HJ: That's our cue. *to EPF* Teleport us to the attack site!
Narrator/EPF: You got it, Hugh Jacob.
(teleporting noises)
*the gang teleports to the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
*the gang reaches the attack site*
HJ: There they are. The Steam Magma Drones. Now, everyone. ATTACK!
(all yelling war cries)
*the Steam Magma Drones turn around*
Steam Magma Drone #1: It's the Cork Men and their 12 rookies! Get them!
Steam Magma Drone #2: Capture them for the boss.
Steam Magma Drone #3: The boss desires them alive.
(Steam Magma Drones firing their lasers)
(arrows whooshing)
*the gang deflects the arrows*
(many Steam Magma Drones powering down as they get defeated)
Narrator/EPF: Sometime later...
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last Steam Magma Drone and it powers down* *turns off his laser diamond sword and puts it up* There, I think that's all of them.
(all cheering)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Dr. Steamferno: (grumbles angrily) What?! All of the Steam Magma Drones are offline!? This can't be!
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss, I'm with you on this one. But we have tons more of Steam Magma Drones left.
Dr. Steamferno: We've failed to conquer this city! Just like how we failed the past 240 cities on the list to conquer! Even at the beginning of Phase IX of our plan!
Steam Magma Commander: We still have 1,770,000 Steam Magma Drones left. But the entire army of Steam Magma Drones are almost gone! The Cork Men and their gang of 12 children rookies have defeated 7,230,000 of the Steam Magma Drone army.
Dr. Steamferno: The Cork Men beat us to almost every city on our list! But I guarantee you both, Steam Magma Commander and Steam Dark Hugh Jacob, my evil apprentice on behalf of the entire Steamferno Clan despite the fact that the rest of the clan is at their stations on this airship that when we get to the final city of Phase X on our list and city number 300 that we'll beat the Cork Men and their 12 rookies that happen to be kids to Tokyo! We'll beat the Cork Men and their 12 rookie children when we get to Tokyo! (chuckles evilly)
Steam Magma Commander: This is just a great idea, boss!
Dr. Steamferno (to Steam Dark Hugh Jacob): Where to next, my evil apprentice?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Tehran, Iran.
Dr. Steamferno: Excellent! We'll terrorize Tehran better than any terrorist there!
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Tehran is 415 miles away from here as the crow flies, boss.
Dr. Steamferno: To Tehran, we go! (laughs manically) *pulls the warp speed lever*
(lever clicks)
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
HJ (to Jamie): Jamie! Where are they going to next?
Jamie (to HJ): They're going to Tehran.
Josh: Iran's capital city?
HJ: Yes, Josh.
Riga: We all better get going right now!
Jack: Act fast, you speedos! (laughs)
HJ (to EPF): EPF, teleport us back to Riga's airship. Teleport us to the inside of it.
Narrator/EPF: You got it, Hugh Jacob!
(teleporting noises)
*the gang teleports to the inside of Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
HJ: Let's follow them.
*Riga unlocks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
*Riga turns on her airship*
(redstone engines powering up)
*Riga's airship takes off*
Riga: We're high up in the sky! We have clear skies ahead of us, you guys! Setting coordinates for Tehran, Iran. *sets coordinates* *coordinates get locked and loaded* Coordinates locked and loaded, baby! Here we go! *pulls the warp speed lever on her right*
(lever clicks)
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
HJ (to Riga): Riga! How long will it take for us to get to Tehran through warp speed?
Riga: It'll be short this time, HJ. It'll take us t-minus 30 seconds to get there!
HJ (to Riga): Okay!
Narrator/EPF: 30 seconds later...
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
HJ: We're out of warp speed. *to Riga* Riga! Land your airship on the north side of Tehran!
Riga (to HJ): Okay! *does so*
*Riga lands her airship on the northern side of the city*
*Riga turns off her airship*
(redstone engines powering down)
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets off Riga's airship*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
City Number CCXLII: Tehran, Iran
HJ: Just 58 more cities left. *to Josh* Josh! How long until the Steamferno Clan gets here?
Josh (to HJ): They'll be here in three, two, one.
(electrical zapping in the sky)
*an orange wormhole opens up*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
*the orange wormhole closes*
HJ: Guys, we got company!
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Dr. Steamferno: Yes! We made it to Tehran! And I'm gonna assume that the Cork Men and their gang of 12 kids beat us here, correct?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Yes, that's correct.
Steam Magma Commander: Where do you want my Steam Magma Drones to attack?
Dr. Steamferno: See where our sworn enemies are standing, Steam Magma Commander?
Steam Magma Commander: Yes.
Dr. Steamferno: Have them attack right where they're standing.
Steam Magma Commander: Okay. *turns around and walks up to his machine* Deploying all Steam Magma Drones for Tehran. *pulls lever*
(lever clicks)
(evil warbling teleporting noises)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
Drew: *looks at the particles in sky* What are those particles doing in the sky?
Duke: Oi. And they look like they're headed right for us.
Josh: Those must be the teleporting particles of the Steamferno Clan. And they are headed right for us!
Narrator/EPF: Gang, the Steam Magma Drones are headed right where you're standing.
(evil warbling teleporting noises)
HJ: *draws his laser diamond sword and turns it on* Get ready, everyone!
*everyone else readies their superpowers or their weapons*
Steam Magma Drone #1: It's the Cork Men and their 12 rookies of kids. Get them!
Steam Magma Drone #2: Capture for the boss!
Steam Magma Drone #3: The boss desires them alive.
HJ: They're onto us! ATTACK!
(everyone yelling war cries)
(many Steam Magma Drones power down)
Narrator/EPF: Sometime later...
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last steam magma drone with his laser diamond sword* There, I think that's the last of them. *turns off his laser diamond sword and puts it up*
(all cheering)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! All the Steam Magma Drones are offline for this city!
Dr. Steamferno: What?! NO! Impossible! I didn't expect that!
Steam Magma Commander: And boss, you said that we'll terrorize Tehran better than any terrorist here.
Dr. Steamferno: Yes, I did, Steam Magma Commander. But we didn't do that better than any terrorist here in Tehran!
Steam Magma Commander: Boss, we'll get better as we go to the next city. And you once said that you guarantee both Steam Dark Hugh Jacob and I that we'll beat the Cork Men and their 12 rookie children for when get to Tokyo.
Dr. Steamferno: Yes, I understand I said that, too, Steam Magma Commander. *to Steam Dark Hugh Jacob* Where to next, Steam Dark Hugh Jacob?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Baghdad, Iraq, boss.
Dr. Steamferno: Excellent! Perhaps maybe we'll try again that we'll terrorize Baghdad better than any terrorist there unlike how we did here in Tehran.
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Baghdad is 433 miles away from here as the crow flies, boss.
Dr. Steamferno: If you say so, Steam Dark Hugh Jacob, my evil apprentice. To Baghdad, we go! (laughs evilly) *pulls the warp speed lever next to him*
(lever clicks)
Dr. Steamferno: Here we go!
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
HJ: Jamie, where are they going to next?
Jamie: They're going to Baghdad, Iraq.
HJ: Okay. *to the rest of the gang* We gotta follow them! Fast! Act fast, everyone!
Riga: I'll unlock my airship. *unlocks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets on Riga's airship*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
*Riga starts up her airship*
(Riga's airship turns on)
(redstone engines powering up)
*Riga's airship takes off*
Riga: Setting coordinates for Baghdad. *set coordinates* *the coordinates get locked and loaded* Coordinates locked and loaded, baby! Here we go! *pulls the warp lever on her right*
(lever clicks)
Riga: Everyone! I can get us there in three and a half minutes!
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
HJ: Wow, I think we are getting closer to the ending of the Steamferno Clan's overworld tour every single second.
Josh: That's right, HJ. As long as you're still our leader, we will stop the Steamferno Clan from conquering all the cities on their overworld tour list.
Narrator/EPF: Three and a half minutes later...
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
HJ: *looks around for the Steamferno Clan airship with his binoculars* No sign of the Steamferno Clan Airship. I think we'll wait until the Steamferno Clan shows up.
Riga (to HJ): Where do you want me to land, HJ?
HJ (to Riga): Land on the northern side of the city!
Riga: Okay! *does so*
*Riga lands her airship at said location*
*Riga turns off her airship*
(redstone engines powering down)
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets off Riga's airship*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
*Riga locks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
City Number CCXLIII: Baghdad, Iraq
HJ: Is the Steamferno Clan going to here any time sooner?
Josh: HJ, the Steamferno Clan will be here in t-minus two minutes. So we gotta be prepared.
Narrator/EPF: Two minutes later...
HJ: Guys, look!
*everyone else in the gang looks at sky to where HJ is pointing*
(electrical zapping in the sky)
*an orange wormhole opens up*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
*the orange wormhole closes*
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Dr. Steamferno: Yes, we made it to Baghdad. *looks down at Riga's airship* And, ugh! The Cork Men and the 12 children that they're training beat us here?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss, settle down. Don't waste your breath. We are definitely going to beat all eighteen of those heroes when we get to Tokyo.
Steam Magma Commander: Where do you want my Steam Magma Drones to attack, boss?
Dr. Steamferno: Have them attack downtown.
Steam Magma Commander: Okay. *walks up to his machine* Deploying all the Steam Magma Drones from Baghdad. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
(evil warbling teleporting noises)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
HJ: Look at the bright side, you guys. At least we have 57 more cities to go.
Jack: *walks up to HJ* HJ, this is so awesome that we're traveling the world to stop your sworn enemies' evil plans. But I realized something.
HJ: What is it, Jack?
Jack: What's with that flag over there? *points to the flag on his far left* Isn't that the flag of Iraq? What's with the green squiggly text on the center white line on the flag?
HJ (to Jack): Jack, that is the flag of Iraq. And that's not squiggly text on the white stripe of its flag. That's Arabic writing. Languages like Arabic are written from right to left. Probably because the official language here in Iraq is Arabic. Tons of people speak Arabic all over Iraq.
Josh (to Jack): And the Arabic writing on Iraq's flag translates to "God is great".
Jack (to HJ and Josh): Oh, okay. I see.
Josh: And over 38.7 million people here in Iraq speak Arabic, Jack.
Jack (to Josh): Oh, okay. *to HJ* It's interesting, HJ. Very interesting information you and Josh just told just now.
HJ: Yes it is, Jack.
*Jack walks away from HJ and joins the other ten kids along with his twin sister*
HJ: Now, everyone. We gotta pay close attention to-
(explosion in distance)
Narrator/EPF: Gang, I hate to break up this conversation, but the Steam Magma Drones are attacking downtown Baghdad.
HJ: Okay, thanks, EPF. *to everyone else in the gang* Let's go, guys!
(all yelling battle cries)
HJ (to EPF): EPF, teleport us to the attack site.
EPF: You got it, Hugh Jacob! *does so*
(teleporting noises)
*the gang reaches the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
HJ: Get ready, everyone! *draws his laser diamond sword and turns it on*
*everyone else readies their superpowers or weapons*
Steam Magma Drone #1: It's the Cork Men and their 12 rookies. Get them!
Steam Magma Drone #2: Capture them for the boss.
Steam Magma Drone #3: The boss desires all of them alive.
HJ: Everyone! ATTACK!
(all yelling war cries)
(Steam Magma Drones fire their lasers)
(arrows whooshing)
(many Steam Magma Drones powering down)
Narrator/EPF: Sometime later...
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last Steam Magma Drone with his laser diamond sword*
(Steam Magma Drone powers down)
*HJ turns off his laser diamond sword and puts it up*
HJ: There. I think that's the last of them.
(all cheering)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! The Steam Magma Drones! They're offline!
Dr. Steamferno: Ugh! This just cannot be! There goes both of our chances to terrorize both Tehran and Baghdad better than any terrorists!
Steam Magma Commander: Yes, this a quite a humiliating loss. We lost to all eighteen heroes here in Baghdad.
Dr. Steamferno: Where to next, my evil apprentice?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Just fly and go into warp speed. I'll show you boss.
Dr. Steamferno: Ugh! Fine! *pulls the warp speed lever next to him*
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
HJ (to Jamie): Jamie, anything?
Jamie (to HJ): They didn't say anything. They didn't say where they are going to next.
HJ: Then I guess we better follow them.
*the gang teleports back to the inside of Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*the gang reaches Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*Riga unlocks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
*Riga runs to the bridge and starts up her airship*
(Riga's airship turns on)
(redstone engines powering up)
*Riga's airship takes off*
Riga: Up, up, and away!
*Riga pulls the warp speed lever right next to her on her right*
(lever clicks)
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Narrator/EPF: 27 cities later...
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
HJ: We beat the Steamferno Clan here! *looks at a digital map next to him* I think we're in Accra, Ghana.
Josh (to HJ): That's correct, HJ.
HJ: This is it. The final city on the Steamferno Clan's list for Phase IX. Just 30 more cities after this!
Riga (to HJ): Where do you want me to land, HJ?
HJ (to Riga): It's gonna be different this time, Riga. Land on the south side of the city. Land on the beach!
Riga: Okay! *does so*
*Riga lands her airship on the south side of Accra on one of its beaches*
*Riga turns off her airship*
(redstone engines powering down)
(front ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets off Riga's airship*
(front ramp whirs as it closes)
*Riga locks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
City Number CCLXX: Accra, Ghana
Josh: You guys see that water over there?
All but HJ in unison: Yeah.
HJ: That is the Gulf of Guinea. A part of the Atlantic Ocean.
Josh: A part of the North Atlantic, to be precise.
HJ (to Josh): How long until the Steamferno Clan gets here, Josh?
Josh (to HJ): In about t-minus five minutes, HJ.
HJ: Okay, Josh.
Drew: HJ, oh ma gosh! We're almost done with your Steamferno Clan's overworld tour.
HJ: That's right, Drew.
Drew: HJ, the other eleven kids and I are, like, nine years old.
HJ: Yes, I know that, Drew.
Drew: You just can't be doing this to us.
HJ: I know. But I'm training you and the other eleven kids in this gang to fight against villainy. And plus, don't you remember that I made you and the other eleven kids up from my Halloween-themed essay from when I was a sophomore in college?
Drew: Yes, I do, HJ. You wanted your essay to be a parody of something you saw on TV.
HJ: Yes, I did. Can we please stop talking about this and focus on the goal at hand, Drew?
Drew: Yes, I suppose...
Narrator/EPF: Five minutes later...
(electrical zapping in the sky)
HJ: Guys look! The Steamferno Clan is here!
*an orange wormhole opens up*
HJ: And a wormhole has opened up! And it's also orange.
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
*the orange wormhole closes*
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Dr. Steamferno: At last! The final city on the list of Phase IX of our greatest plan ever! Accra, Ghana!
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss, the 18 heroes beat us here.
Dr. Steamferno: (grumbles angrily) No! Not even here on the final city on our list of Phase IX!
Steam Magma Commander: Where do you want my Steam Magma Drones to attack?
Dr. Steamferno: Right where The Cork Men and their twelve rookie children are standing.
Steam Magma Commander: Okay. *walks to his machine* Deploying all the Steam Magma Drones for Accra, Ghana. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
(evil warbling teleporting noises)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
HJ: *looks at the evil teleporting particles in the sky* The Steam Magma Drones are coming.
Narrator/EPF: Gang, the Steam Magma Drones are being teleported right where you're all standing.
HJ (to EPF): Thanks for the info, EPF.
(evil warbling teleporting noises)
Steam Magma Drone #1: It's the Cork Men and their 12 rookies!
Steam Magma Drone #2: Get them!
Steam Magma Drone #3: The boss desires them alive.
Steam Magma Drone #4: Capture for the boss.
HJ: *draw his laser diamond sword and turns it on* Get ready, everyone!
*everyone else in the gang readies their superpowers or draws their weapons*
HJ: Everyone! ATTACK!
(all yelling war cries)
(Steam Magma Drones firing their lasers)
(arrows whooshing)
(many Steam Magma Drones powering down as they get defeated)
Narrator/EPF: Sometime later...
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last Steam Magma Drone with his laser diamond sword*
(Steam Magma Drone powers down)
HJ: *turns off his laser diamond sword and puts it up* There. I think that's the last of them. Just one more phase to go! And 30 more cities to go!
(all cheering)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship...
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! It's terrible! All of the Steam Magma Drones are offline!
Dr. Steamferno: (grumbles angrily) Ergh! This has gone too far. We have 90,000 Steam Magma Drones left! So far, 8,100,000 of them have been defeated!
Steam Magma Commander: Three of my Steam Magma Drones are different from the other 8,999,997 of them.
Dr. Steamferno: Now, we start the final phase of this plan: Phase X! *to Steam Dark Hugh Jacob* Where to next, Steam Dark Hugh Jacob, my evil apprentice to start Phase X?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob (to Dr. Steamferno): Monrovia, Liberia.
Dr. Steamferno: And away we go to Monrovia!
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Monrovia is 730 miles away from here as the crow flies, boss.
Dr. Steamferno: You got it, my evil apprentice! *pulls the warp speed lever next to him*
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before...
Josh: Okay, so far, we have defeated 8,100,000 of the Steam Magma Drones. And now, we're down to 90,000. There are 90,000 of them left.
HJ (to Jamie): Where to next, Jamie?
Jamie: They're going to Monrovia, Liberia's capital city. And they're gonna start their tenth and final phase of their plan...aka Phase X.
HJ: Okay, Jamie.
*Riga unlocks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
(front ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets on Riga's airship*
(front ramp whirs as it closes)
*Riga turns on her airship*
(redstone engines powering up)
*Riga's airship takes off*
Riga: Setting coordinates for Monrovia. *set coordinates* *coordinates get locked and loaded* Coordinates locked and loaded, baby! Here we go! *pulls the warp speed lever on her right*
All: Woo-hoo!
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)