A Love Worth Waiting For

Chapter 3

After having some supper with her girls, Willa hesitated - but then slipped into her grandfather's room. He was asleep after all. She reached over to his desk for a piece of note paper and his pen and simply wrote 'I love you, Grandpa. I always have and always will' and left it on the table next to his chaise lounge. She then retired to her room. She wasn't there long when there was a knock and she opened the door to her aunt - who stood in the hall holding a small chest.

"This was with your mother's things as well. Obviously, it wouldn't have fit into my apron, so I waited to pass it along to you until right now." she said with a wry smile.

Willa put a hand onto her aunt's shoulder and then took the box from her. "Aunt Zee, thank you so much. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you and all you do for us."

Once the box was transferred, Zee wrapped and arm around her niece for a hug and whispered "You're like the daughter I never had, Willa, and I hope you never forget that. I love you, too, child." and with that, she quietly went back downstairs.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Willa took the her mother's box, letters and journal to her bed and began to take a journey she'd never would have imagined and one that, even though tough emotionally, might be bright with promise on the other side. With a sigh, she opened up the journal and began to see the world through her mother's young eyes.

It took Willa most of the day to get through her mother's things. She'd briefly stopped to take a meal that Aunt Zee had left in the hall for her. The tray had included pictures from her babies and a briefly worded note scrawled in Grandpa's hand 'I love you, too, Willa girl.' She knew she'd have to speak with him soon. Time was too precious to waste on unforgiveness. Aunt Zee was right.

As she lovingly replaced all of her mother's things inside of the chest, she felt a piece of paper stuck inside the lid. It must've gotten wedged in there. Her mouth fell open when she unfolded it and then the attached note. It was a birth certificate of sorts, which was unusual to have for the 1890s. A different one than she had in her belongings. This one had a middle name for her. 'Avery'. Her original given name was Willa Avery Morrissey. She looked at the note in her mother's hand. It said 'He (Angus) thinks this was changed. But I will never actually do it. My biggest act of defiance. You're an Avery, my daughter, and you always will be.'

'Mom' she whispered, wiping tears from her cheek. How she could possibly have anymore tears inside her after reading through her mother's journal and letters - she didn't know. Lord, how she missed her and oh how her heart ached for that young woman who was so idealistic and in love and found herself alone, pregnant and forced into a loveless marriage with a bully like Angus. She thought of the unopened letters she'd discovered. One for her, Grandpa and Bill Avery. She'd been gone for 13 years and no one had found these letters. Probably because Grandpa had locked the door to her room and wouldn't let anyone near it until the move.

Her eyes tracked to the letters. She'd already read hers, but she picked it up to read again - bringing the papers up to her nose, inhaling what was left of her mother's scent.

My Dearest Willa

If you are reading this, it means that I have gone on to my reward and I never got the chance to tell you the truth and for that - I am beyond sorry. If I'd had my choice, well, things would have been vastly different.
The truth is, Willa, that Angus is not your father. Your father was a young man that I loved with all of my heart and that I planned to spend the rest of my life with. We eloped and spent the most glorious week together before your grandfather found us and dragged me back home. Before he did that, he made sure that an annulment happened and forbade me to ever speak the young man's name again.

While I was heartbroken and angry and swore that I would never forgive your grandfather - please don't do that. I understand now that he was terrified of losing me after having lost your grandmother so suddenly and me being his only child. If I had lost you, I don't know what I would have done. I can't say for certain that I would've behaved any better than my father. What he did was so wrong and I believe that he will make it right one day. I pray that is so, because I may not be able to.

Back to your real father. His name is Bill Avery. He worked on the ranch and I loved him at first sight. I believe that, after your grandfather scared him off, he entered the Mountie Academy. It was something that he'd talked about doing as he was always so good at solving any kind of puzzle or mystery. One thing that you need to know - you MUST know - is that your father would have loved you with every fiber of his being. I know that because that's how he loved me and I him. He never knew about you and I pray that you will try to find him and give him the chance to know you and you him. Start with the Mounties. They may know where he is.

You probably have questions about Angus and why I married him. It wasn't my choice. After the annulment, I'd found out that I was expecting and your grandfather worked out a deal where Angus would give you his name and I would mother his daughter and be able to stay at the ranch. Angus is and has always been a deal maker. I'm sure your grandfather paid him well. If you're reading this letter and Angus is still alive, tread carefully in your search for your father. He's become a powerful and dangerous man.

I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart and that you made my life one of joy and I'm so grateful for that. You were the greatest blessing of my life. I saw enough of your father in you that I felt like he was with me every day. But now is the time for you to get to know him and for him to feel that joy.

Godspeed, my heart!

All my love, Mom

Willa slipped the pages back into the envelope and tucked it inside of her night stand drawer. She knew that she'd reread it often in the days to come. She freshened up, then picked up the other two envelopes and the tray that Aunt Zee had brought and headed downstairs. She could tell by the lack of chatter that her girls were not in the house. Once down in the kitchen, she found a note from her aunt that they were out in the barn to groom and feed the horses. Set about boiling water for some tea when she heard a door open and close. A few moments later, Pastor Canfield appeared.

"Pastor! So good to see you!" she said.

He smiled warmly. "Mrs Hardin. Good to see you as well. Your grandfather seems to be faring pretty well today." They looked at one another - the silence stretching.

"Please call me Willa. Is he really? Are you here because of what he's revealed?" Willa asked cautiously.

Joseph nodded "I am, and if you feel the need to speak to someone in confidence, please let me know. I'm sure that you're feeling pretty overwhelmed right now?"

Willa chuckled "Well, that's an understatement. But, I was fortunate that my Aunt Zee had a treasure trove of my mother's journals and letters that I've just finished going through and it has been both a blessing and a relief. I'm preparing to go in and see Grandpa right now. I'm thankful that you were here for him."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways. Don't you think that it's amazing that He brought you here now? Bill's been here less than ten years. I think He thought it was high time for some healing in this family. If you need me or Minnie, Willa, day or night - you just let us know. We're praying."

"I really appreciate that, Pastor, and there is one thing." Walking over to the sideboard, she picked up the envelope with Bill's name on it and brought it to Joseph. "This is one of the letters I found from my mother. I plan to meet with Bill Avery soon, but I really need to make things right with my Grandpa before I do anything else."

Joseph took the letter and slipped it inside his vest pocket. "Please call me Joseph and I'll do that straight away, Willa. You can count on it."

After thanking Joseph and saying goodbyes, Willa knocked and then entered her grandpa's study. After setting the tea tray on his desk, she immediately went and sat down on the edge of his chaise. Even though he looked like he was sleeping, she knew better. This was a game they'd played for as long as she could remember. Eventually, one of his eyes would pop open and he would yell 'Boo!' When she was a girl, she'd jump and then dissolve in a fit of giggles while he tickled her. That probably wasn't going to happen today.

"You can open your eyes, Grandpa. I know you're awake." She said, grabbing ahold of his hand.

One eye popped open and he whispered "Boo!", eliciting a giggle from her. After a moment he spoke again "It's good to see you, Willa girl."

"It's good to see you, too. I'm sorry it took me so long." she replied.

Josiah sighed. "I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to see me at all, but I'm thanking the Lord that you do." he said in his gruff drawl.

Willa got up and poured two cups of tea and handed one to him before she sat down in the chair next to him. She knew that her motive was to collect her thoughts. Her mother always admonished her to take a few breaths before she spoke so that she could tame her tongue. "Grandpa, I'd like to think that I would've forgiven you all on my own, though it might've taken me longer than necessary. But, this one's on Mom. Aunt Zee had some of her things, letters and such, and gave them to me. There were a few unopened letters, one for you and me and then also one for Bill Avery. It was as if she were here - right now - speaking to me about this current situation." She turned and reached over to the tea tray, picking up her grandpa's envelope and handed it to him. "If you'd prefer, I can leave you to read this and we can speak again after supper. I think, if my letter was any indication, Mom's going to be speaking directly to you as well. It might be just what you need to hear."

Josiah held the envelope reverently, appearing stunned at its existence. After a long minute passed, he looked up at Willa. "You're a very wise young woman, you know. I think I'd like that." he swallowed hard, seeming to choke back some emotion. "I never went through her things."

Willa reached out and grabbed one of his hands "Pastor Joseph said something to me about God's timing. Somehow He managed to get me to move to the same small town where my father lives and for you to come with me. So I say that we step back and let the Lord have His way, because all we have for certain is right now." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead as she stood up to leave. "I'll be back after supper. Right now, I'm going to go find my girls and spend some time with them. Love you, Grandpa."

"I love you, too, Willa. More than life itself." he choked out.

With that, Willa went in search of her cuddles and snuggles in the form of Dora and Josie.

A/N: Hang in there - Nathan & Bill will be back in the next chapter as well as some other Hope Valley regulars. If you haven't noticed - there are some ties to the show Heartland in so much as some of the original characters are reminiscent of HL characters - but only loosely based on them. Also - in regards to when this story picks up - it's 1919 and only very loosely based on the happenings since the dreadful S8 finale. I haven't watched since then and not tying myself to the canon.