8. Andromeda

Hallowe'en night was always a difficult one for Harry. This year, it was the seventeenth anniversary of his parents' deaths. Ginny stayed close to him, and I could tell he was hiding his pain behind a smile as we enjoyed our small feast around the table in the Burrow.

Remus was also struggling, though for a different reason. It was getting fearfully close to the moon, and I sensed that at any moment he might disappear without telling anyone where he was headed. Earlier I'd tried to tell him to heed Severus's advice, but he'd very roughly and strictly told me that he would make the decision for himself. Directly after the argument I'd retreated to my room to cry for a while. Remus could be truly brutal when he wasn't fully in control. At first I'd been angry, but then I saw his side. I didn't want to act as though I had more say in his decisions than I had before we'd married. The contract didn't mean anything without the work that went into such a partnership, and I admitted that I had probably been wrong to meddle in such a personal matter.

As he sat at the table next to me, ferociously scratching his left hand under the table, I wished he would at least tell me what was going on in his head. His skin was red and irritated, and I had to deliberately ignore his restlessness in order to enjoy the meal.

After it was over, George apparated to meet with his new wife, Angelina Johnson. Ron was luxuriating on the sofa, relaxed after the heavy meal. Arthur and Remus also retired to the sitting room. Harry left the table promptly after everyone was through eating, and Ginny had followed him upstairs. Hermione and I were helping Molly with the washing up when there was a loud knock at the door.

Molly's eyebrows furrowed, but she didn't seem to think it was anything to worry about. "Will you get that, dear?" she said to me. I dried my hands and went.

At first I didn't recognise the middle aged witch who stood on the doorstep. But when I looked down to see the toddler in her arms, his eyes alert and his hair changing slowly from black to purple, I knew exactly who she was. Light brown hair with many grey strands, creases in her careworn forehead, and exhausted, wide-set eyes with some anger in them. Andromeda Tonks.

"Is Remus here?" she said.

Speechless, I nodded, and let her in. Teddy looked at me with wide eyes, his thumb in his mouth. His hair had become the colour of plums.

I led her into the sitting room. "Remus?" I said. He looked from Arthur to me, and when he saw who was standing behind me, his face drained.

Arthur looked startled, and Ron had sat up on the couch, his mouth agape. They looked at one another, and discreetly left the room. I knew I should do the same, but I decided to stay, as a buffer.

Remus was looking at his former mother-in-law with ice in his eyes. "Here, Andromeda?" he said. "Now?"

Her voice was strained, and full of pain. It was clear she was holding back most of her anger and anguish, for the sake of the child. "Where else? When else? I've tried to contact you for two months, and no word. When I heard you were here…"

She drifted off, seeing that I had lingered. She looked at me for a long moment, and then she realised who I was to Remus. I thought she might tell me harshly to give them privacy, but instead, her gaze softened. Andromeda set Teddy down on the rug, and with a nod I agreed to watch him while she took Remus into the other room.

I tried not to overhear, but it was difficult. Her words cut straight to the bone, straightaway, as she chastised Remus for not spending enough time with his son. "He hasn't seen you in two months, Remus! It's just like you to be so irresponsible. I understand the challenges of your condition, but I never imagined–! You can't keep up this habit of running away from the people who need you. I saw what happened to my daughter–"

"Don't." Remus's voice was low and threatening.

"No, you listen. I saw what happened when you left her, and I won't let that happen to that precious boy in there. He deserves a father."

"A better father than me."

"Well, you're the only one he's got, Remus, so it's going to be you, or it's going to be nothing."

"It had better be nothing, then!"

I was shocked by a sound that I was almost sure was a slap.

"Pull yourself together, Remus. Think of what Dora would say." There was a long pause, and then Andromeda's voice grew low and forced. "You're not the only one who's grieving. I lost Ted, and Dora, and I've still managed to do all the work of caring for that boy. Well, no more, Remus. He deserves to see more of you. He might has well be in a home–"

"Don't you DARE talk to me about that, Andromeda," Remus snarled.

Teddy's eyes grew wide, and I couldn't blame him. His father's angered voice, even heard through the wall, was quite alarming. My own heart beating quicker, I scooped the child up and, holding him close to my chest, took him into the backyard where Remus's outburst couldn't be overheard.

It was clear that whatever the mysterious beings were, they were rarely seen, and were not attacking anyone. So we had decided that it was still safe to go outdoors. The nearby woods trembled in the breeze, and there was a dry smell and sound as more leaves fell.

I sat on the step and watched Teddy playing in the garden. My thoughts drifted inevitably to what had set Remus off. I knew nothing at all about his childhood, but imagined it had been a rough one, after he'd been turned by Greyback. What had his parents been like? Had Remus been in a care home, like me, until Dumbledore had found me and invited me to Hogwarts? I shivered, remembering that terrible place, and banished the thought as I watched over the beautiful little boy, whose hair had turned orange to match the pumpkins.

Remus came outside a while later. He looked angry, and his breath was very shallow as he fought to regain control of himself. I walked to the other side of the garden to give him some space. At least he wasn't scratching his hand. He looked up at the moon, which was waxing dangerously close to full.

"When will you leave?" I asked, hoping my question didn't sound antagonistic. I had to admit that I agreed with Andromeda–it was upsetting that Remus had had no contact with his son for two months. But I couldn't imagine how painful it must have been for him to see the boy. Teddy was a potent reminder of Tonks.

The pale light exaggerated the scars on his face. "Two more days," he said.

Teddy had ceased his exploration of the garden and was looking openly at his father. He toddled to the edge of the garden, and took a few steps closer to him. Remus took in a sharp breath of air, but deliberately refused to look down at his son.

Teddy toddled closer, his hair a shy blue.

"Remus," I said, my heart aching. "Remus, look at him."

He looked at me nakedly, and then, exerting all of his will, looked down at Teddy. The boy laughed, and his hair turned a sudden bright yellow. Remus sat on the back step, watching as Teddy walked unsteadily towards him. Little hands grabbed at Remus's big ones, and I held back tears as Remus picked Teddy up and sat him on his lap.

Father and son considered each other. I sensed that this was a deeply personal moment and tried to slip indoors again. But Remus's body tensed the moment I moved.

"Wait," he said, watching me with true vulnerability. "Please. Don't leave me alone with him."

Of course. He didn't trust himself.

"You won't hurt him, Remus," I said.

"You don't know that for sure."

"I think I do."

But I still stayed there, listening to Teddy's happy sounds and Remus murmuring until the boy dozed off to sleep in his father's arms. Though none of them fell, Remus's eyes were full of tears, and I looked away. An owl was calling, somewhere in the woods.

"I know we've already discussed it," I said, once a few minutes had passed. "But… Will you consider going up to Hogwarts? Please?"

He looked down at his sleeping child, and I saw the smallest piece of self preservation click into place behind his eyes. He agreed.