Chapter 3 (Hisao)

It's 5 a.m. I can't sleep.

It doesn't happen nearly as often these days, but sometimes my medication can disturb my sleep. Of course, maybe it is just the anxiety of starting a new job that's keeping me up. Even somewhere this familiar.

There are a few days before the first trimester of the year begins. I guess I could get up and look over my syllabi and first few lesson plans.

I groggily stumble to the living room and get out my laptop and start working.

Around 9 a.m. my phone vibrates, I have a text message from an unknown number.

"Hey Hisao. This is Emi. Did you figure out your cardio problem?"

Dammit. I was kind of hoping she had forgotten. I haven't seen her since that day on the roof and thought I might be in the clear. I type out my answer.

"Not really. Have been busy with all the training I was required to do."

She responds surprisingly quickly.

"You need to find time for this. Your well-being depends on it."

I can't help but picture her new scary-serious face when I read that text. I think I can count on her being relentless about this. And it isn't like she is wrong. Maybe a relentless trainer is exactly the motivation I need. Most of the other people in my life tend to back off when I deflect this issue because I think they feel bad for me, but I don't think she will.

I keep waking up early anyway. I guess I can meet her at the track tomorrow, give things a try.

I type out my reply:

"Will you be at the track at 6:30 tomorrow?"

"I will! Are you going to come?"

"Yes, I will come give it a try."

"Okay, see you then!"

What did I just get myself into?

—-

The next morning I arrive at the track around 6:25 a.m. Emi is already there stretching. She waves at me cheerfully when she spots me. She is wearing a red and white Yamaku track outfit, and is sporting her running blades. If she had twintails instead of a ponytail, this would be a carbon copy of the morning I tried to run with her 16 years ago. Let's hope it goes a little better than that.

I start stretching next to her. "So, what are you going to have me do today?"

"I don't quite know yet. I need to ask you a few questions first."

"Okay, that makes sense."

"When is the last time you did exercise like this? I guess in your case, when did you last swim?"

"Um…it has been about six years."

"...YEARS, Hisao? She lightly slaps my arm. What the hell have you been doing?"

I do my best not to show any emotion on my face, but apparently it didn't work, because she figures out why I stopped swimming.

She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "Oh…here I am putting my foot in my mouth about this again. Don't worry about it Hisao. I mean it's not great, but I can work with it."

I give her a nod, so she continues.

"So since it has been awhile, I think today you should just do one lap. I don't even want you to run the whole time. Just run on the straight parts of the track and cool down on the curves. If you feel like anything is wrong, get my attention and I will check on you. Sound good?"

I nod again.

"Alright then, let's get started, Nakai!" she says with some serious drill sergeant energy.

While I do the routine she instructed, she does what must be her usual morning routine. I lose track of the number of times she passes me in the time it takes me to complete my single circuit. She is still the fastest thing on no legs.

Once I am done with my lap, she comes bounding over. She is barely out of breath, while I am breathing heavily. I don't feel too bad though.

"Here, let me listen." She pulls a stethoscope out of her bag. That's what she meant when she said she would check on me. She puts it on and listens to my chest for a few moments.

"It sounds good. You definitely got it pumping and the rhythm is good, nothing irregular going on. Cool down on the bench for a minute while I finish."

She puts the stethoscope away and gets back on the track for at least 4 more laps and then she runs some sprints.

When she is done, she comes over to the bench, sweaty and a little bit out of breath. I am glad to see that even she has her limits.

"So, how was it?"

"Good, I think. It felt good to get even that little bit of exercise."

"Glad to hear it! So you'll be back here tomorrow?"

"I will."

She stands up and wipes her face with a towel.

"Okay, I will write you up a fitness plan, so you can see how will we gradually increase your routine. We need to get you to the point where you can do about an hour of cardio a day. I will bring it with me tomorrow. See you then!" She starts to walk off towards the gym, where she must be going to take a shower.

"Hey, Emi?" I call out after her.

She turns around, "Yeah?"

"Thanks for this. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, I want to get you healthy. See you tomorrow!"

—-

I am sitting down on the bench cooling off while Emi finishes her routine.

I have been training with Emi every day for about two months. I am now at the point where I can run for three laps without stopping. I haven't had any heart flutters or anything.

Every day we stretch together, she reminds me what I am supposed to do, and she listens to my heart when I finish.

We don't talk a whole lot other than exchanging pleasantries and small talk, but it is starting to make me feel a bit awkward. We see each other almost every day but we barely talk. I would like to change that.

She has really gone out of her way to help me, even making me a fitness schedule and monitoring my health during these runs. I should really do something for her. Luckily I have a plan for that.

When she finishes her routine and sits down next to me to drink her water I ask,

"What do you normally do for lunch?"

"Hm? Oh, it depends. Today I was just going to grab something from the cafeteria. Why?"

"Well you've really done a lot for me, so I wanted to do something for you. I made enough lunch for both of us today. We could meet up later and have lunch."

She hesitates, and for a moment I think she is going to tell me she can't make it. I don't know whether it is his her gluttony or guilt that gets to her, but eventually she agrees.

"Okay, that sounds good. Where should I meet you?"

"Do you remember the room where Hanako and Lilly used to eat their lunch? I think Lilly called it their "tea room."

She laughs, "Man, there's two people I haven't thought of in forever. But yeah, I know the spot. See you there at lunch. And Hisao? You're doing really good with this fitness plan."

—-

When I get to the tea room, Emi isn't there yet. I've been eating my lunch in here for a few weeks. It really hasn't changed at all. The few times I joined Hanako and Lilly in here all those years ago it had a really relaxing atmosphere, and it still does. It is quiet, and has a large window with a great view.

It's also the place where Saki first opened up to me about her ataxia and the place where we embraced each other for the first time. Even if that last part was kind of an accident. I smile at the pleasant memory.

A few of the other faculty members have invited me to lunch, and I go sometimes. But I feel more comfortable here most of the time. I guess I'm still not too good at putting myself out there and making friends.

Soon I hear a knock at the door and Emi sticks her head in. She smiles when she sees me.

"Oh good, I got the right room this time." She laughs. I thought I knew where it was, but I got it wrong the first time. Luckily no one was in there."

She comes in and sits across from me, eagerly eying the bento boxes.

I slide hers over to her. "Have you ever had pasta carbonara?"

"Had it? I don't think I've even heard of it. I am not the most worldly when it comes to food. I mostly stick with Asian stuff when I cook. I am guessing this is Italian from the name?" She opens the box "Smells really good though, and I love pasta, so seems great to me."

"Yeah it has bacon and eggs in it, basically."

She nods and digs in with her usual gusto, and doesn't talk until she is finished.

"This was really good Hisao, thanks." She takes a moment to look around the room.

"What ever happened to Lilly and Hanako anyway?"

"Well, Lilly moved to Scotland, where her mom was from, before the end of our last year. Last I heard she is still over there. Teaching English, I think?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot that whole business with Scotland. She was actually going to help me with my English, but she ended up moving. Which sucked, because I ended up having to do remedial lessons."

I laugh, "Yeah, English was always my worst subject. I barely squeaked by. I could have used her help too."

"And Hanako? I remember we were all really worried when Lilly left, but she surprisingly started to come out of her shell and joined newspaper club, right?"

"Yep. She actually ended up going to the same university as me. We weren't really friends or anything, and we didn't have any classes together, but we ran into each other sometimes and made small talk. She was studying journalism. She seemed like she was doing quite well. I guess it turns out she wasn't the fragile girl everyone thought. I'm not too sure what she is doing now, though."

"Yeah, it is easy to lose track of people after all these years. I mean, before you started work here, you and I hadn't talked since graduation and we got along pretty well back in the day. "

"That's true. Thanks for everything. We may have lost touch for all that time, but you took me under your wing almost the moment I got here, and you didn't have to do it. My doctor is really happy with the progress I have made, and I've managed to get some people off my back. You're always welcome to have lunch with me. In fact, I would like it if you did."

Emi is clearly a bit uncomfortable with something I just said, as she breaks eye contact with me.

"Hey, no problem Hisao. I am glad you are already starting to see results from your training. It is only going to get better from here. Soon you won't even need me. Well, I think I'm going to run. Thanks for the meal, see you tomorrow!"

"Sure thing, I wouldn't dream of missing and suffering your wrath."

Emi gets up, gives me a halfhearted wave and smile, and goes out the door.

What exactly happened there?

—-

I get home for the evening, put down my things, and collapse on the couch.

That was a pretty long day. It was my first day as the advisor for the science club, and their meeting ended up going pretty long. It is nice that such a club exists now though. We didn't have one in my day. "In my day," huh? Jeez, I've gotten old.

I'm still not sure what happened with Emi. I told her she could have lunch with me if she wanted, and she basically ignored the invitation, told me we probably wouldn't be running together that much longer, and then she ran out the door.

What made her so uncomfortable that she had to do that? I don't get it. As I replay our conversation in my head, the pieces start to come together.

Oh no…does she…? Yeah, I bet she thought I was hitting on her. That makes sense. I can even see why she would think that. We're the same age, I made her lunch, and told her I want to eat lunch with her more. She doesn't have to jump to any especially wild conclusions to misunderstand that. I will have to clear that up in the morning.

—-

I arrive at the track the next morning, and Emi is there and seemingly as chipper as usual. But she is behaving a little bit differently towards me. When I go to stretch next to her, she tries to subtly increase the distance, and she won't look me in the eye.

When I complete my run for the day she listens to my heart, but seems a bit uncomfortable that she has to get so close to me.

Once she finishes her routine, she quickly gathers up her things without saying anything except,

"See you tomorrow!"

"Emi? Can I talk to you about something before you go?"

"Sorry Hisao, I'm really in a hurry. We can talk another time." She runs off towards the auxiliary building.

Wow, she is really trying to escape. I guess it makes sense, she must think I am about to confess to her or something. I wanted to do this a little more subtly, but I think if I don't tell her this now, she is going to quickly disappear from my life, and I don't want that. I could try texting her, but I suspect she wouldn't believe what I say if she can't see me say it.

I raise my voice so she can hear me, as the distance between us is quickly increasing. What is the best way for me to say this in the fewest words that get my point across?

"I don't want to date you!" Hopefully that works.

This causes her to freeze in her tracks, turn around on the spot and she closes the distance between us as quickly as you'd expect. As she gets close enough for me to make out her face, it is the angriest I have ever seen her. Oh boy.

"Don't yell something like that. Anyone could hear you, including our coworkers and students." She looks around, as if to confirm no one is watching.

"Did I hear that correctly?"

"Yeah...I don't want to date you. I noticed I made you really uncomfortable yesterday. Then today you were acting really strange, and I thought maybe you thought I was hitting on you when I said I would like it if you would join me for lunch more often. I wasn't."

"So…you weren't hitting on me when you made me lunch and said you want to spend more time with me? Because that's sure as hell what it sounded like, Hisao."

"No. I realized later it might have sounded that way, and I am sorry.. But I…I'm not even interested in that kind of relationship. I do want to spend more time with you. I'd like to talk to you more and have lunch with you. But I just want to be friends. I like being around you, but, not like that."

She analyzes my face closely. "You seem like you're being honest, but I'm not sure."

"Why would I lie about this? Wouldn't I just confess to you if I felt that way? If my goal was to date you, what good would it do for me to say that I don't want to date you?"

"Hm. I don't know, maybe you're playing some kind of mind games, Hisao. It wouldn't be the first time a guy tried to pull that."

I sigh in frustration.

She laughs, "Alright, fine. I believe you. I thought it seemed a little bit out of left field. I mean, I've never even caught you looking at me that way, and I have a pretty good radar for that kind of thing. You're on probation though."

"What does that even mean in this context?"

"That I will be keeping my eye on you, make sure this isn't all part of some elaborate long-term plan to get me to fall in love with you." She winks at me.

She lets out a big sigh. "Truthfully, though, that is a big weight off of my shoulders. I have enjoyed our friendship too. I like having you as a running partner. I also didn't want to reject you and make you feel bad. So, not having to worry about any of that definitely improved my day."

"I feel a lot better now, too. I was worried you weren't going to let me talk to you about it. I am glad this is all cleared up now."

"Yep, see you for our run tomorrow?"

"Of course, Emi. Have a good day."

"You too, Nakai!"